Chris Distefano's Dad Stories - YMH Highlight

[@evanabbott2737]

“Nothin’ Chinese is ever gonna take me down...”😂

[@DekkarJr]

True American :D

[@atyusriggins3824]

Lmao😂

[@larrymcjones]

RED WHITE N BLUE!

[@vladaficiuc1277]

THE BEST LMAO

[@ridgejordan1859]

@@sweatnosweat yet we never were taken down

[@J.D.Hardesty]

If my father didn't pass 15 years ago, I would swear that Chris and I had the same father, one year my dad stole my bike 4 days before my birthday, spraypainted it and gave it back to me, he couldn't afford a gift so he just said my bike got stolen, and then pretended to have solved it by buying me a new bike.

[@mitchtagliapietra6262]

Tampa Tony would have stolen you a new bike!

[@michaelm.5054]

That’s hilarious. The man was a problem solver for sure

[@Fire_Marshall_Bill]

Honestly, that's kinda heart warming.

[@AirDwindler402]

Legend!!!!

[@Qurisx]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣this is fuckin great

[@joaquingomez271]

I wanna see Joey Diaz talk to Chris and his dad

[@shootstraight91]

duuuuuude!

[@Billyvinilly89]

Two guys repeatedly saying “i dont know nuttin”

[@lean.2366]

Dude Joey Diaz IS Chrissy's dad

[@jimbecker6512]

This is brilliant

[@Airbender808]

I would pay good money for this interaction lmaoo

[@TheBlackMambaa248]

“My dad and Bobby pets buried the penguin off the side of the New Jersey turnpike” might be my favorite sentence of all time

[@yew2oob954]

Ironically...the penguin doesn't sleep with the fishes.

[@iamgates7679]

It sounds the beginning of a Stephen King novel

[@dubugga]

Out of context it's just like wtf hahaha

[@williamwhitfield6225]

@@dubugga In context it’s still wtf lol

[@KR-ki9hw]

It seemed like the thing to do at the time.

[@musicf3b]

*Comes back home late* *mom is furious* Dad: the kid has special needs

[@atyusriggins3824]

Perfect

[@kshinokevin]

"it wasn't voluntary, but some drool came out of my mouth." - Chrissy D.

[@RikkoSeven]

Ahahahaha

[@amaniahmed5481]

😂😂😂

[@charlesgordon5156]

👏🏽 you’ve found his closing sentence for the bit!!

[@gehtsma]

“You did good kid, the drool was a good touch” 😂 i almost pissed my pants

[@HotNickles918]

The Hakuna Matata kills me every time

[@vladaficiuc1277]

Bro EVERY time

[@locoplayita4204]

Every fuckin time

[@misteranon763]

Its so funny because his dad honestly meant it from a good place! But its so blunt insensitive & jarring. 🤣🤣😁

[@OK-1K1]

it's 1 in the morning and I'm in tears cackling like a donkey...

[@Scrum-Master]

holy fuck dude, loosing my shit here

[@mitchtagliapietra6262]

I remember having a stroke being in the ICU in crippling pain alone at night and couldn’t sleep despite the drugs they were pumping me full of, and watching this was the only thing that made me laugh the whole time I was in there. Legit helped me get through it. Laughter is great medicine

[@windmillin-in-the-dirt2489]

Damn bro Hope you make a full recovery

[@imdoc7872]

I hope you are doing better dude

[@ryanmcauley1626]

Glad to see you're okay. Hope you're doing well/better/ Laughter truly is the best medicine.

[@gonzothecat5901]

Damn bro I hope You recovered fully. And your right about laughter.

[@FranklyItsMe]

Dude. You just got me teary. I’m so happy you’re ok. ❤️🙏🏻

[@blackbarncreek]

“Feeding the penguin cheese” is one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard. Coincidentally, I’m going to start using that as a euphemism for everything.

[@terrydevlin3486]

"Wanna go out tonight man?" "Can't man, feedin' the penguin cheese." "...the fuck does that even mean?"

[@joeldelossantos9732]

Whoa take it easy now you're just feeding the penguin cheese

[@sleepysnoozin]

Yeah dude was fucked up last night, really fed the penguin cheese

[@NardDog007]

Gonna be my next fantasy team name

[@ddlk9913]

@@terrydevlin3486 "Hey man I'm outta town next week can you feed my penguin?" "Sure where do you keep it's food?" "There's some provolone in the fridge."

[@RustinChole]

Dude. When you’re burying a penguin on the NJ turnpike, things have gone terribly wrong 😂

[@zk9494]

Yo imagine what would happen if some criminal was trying to bury something else on the side of the NJ highway only to find a penguin 🐧. Man, people are weird we need to make a Nature's documentary about Humanity

[@kevin_nagle]

@@zk9494 worse things have happened off the NJ Turnpike

[@M-X39462]

My god lmao imagine historians from the future try to figure out how it got there 😂

[@jamiestewart7327]

No jokes, no set ups, no punchlines, just 100% hilarious dude. Best storyteller ever🤣🤣🤣 This guy HAS to get his own Netflix special.... WITH hia dad on stage👍🏼🤣

[@JuicyyM]

He actually is releasing a Netflix special may 3rd if I’m not mistaken

[@sarahlauren5643]

I can't breathe from laughing so hard to "nothing Chinese is going to take me out"

[@yaboyfoxxx1558]

Scientists 100 years from now… “ fucking penguins , in the middle of Brooklyn “

[@egolifter739]

“Nothing Chinese will take me down red white and blue are in my veins” is the funniest quote ever 🤣

[@GuyFue]

When he said to mr perfect “hey Perfect, kids got special needs” I spit out lemonade. Almost choked. Need more dad stories

[@jimweishuhn9953]

I absolutely love it when I can hear the crew laughing in the background! 🤣

[@PepeSi1via]

Chrissy Dad Complex

[@TheGodlyGamers]

Laughed the vape smoke out and got whooped

[@AlexCovic1]

Chrissy Daddyissues

[@MRmanbearpig1993]

Ermuhgerd 💀 ☠

[@connor-craigsellars4777]

Christopher ManySaints

[@Farfetchd.]

Chrissy and Tim Dillon restore that absolute love/hate relationship I have for Long Islanders. Just a seething hatred, but a real admiration for the carelessness they have for everyone but themselves.

[@spridle]

Why doesn't Chris just finally interview his dad? It would literally be the biggest video he's ever done.

[@danroberts8078]

Because he is a comedian and these stories are likely highly exaggerated...

[@vampmode9132]

@@danroberts8078 chrissy white lies

[@Andrew-vw5vb]

Probably because his dad doesn't sound like the type to tell stories on a podcast.

[@jonjetmore4018]

@@danroberts8078 To be fair, you'd think that about Tom's dad stories too until you hear Tom's dad and then it's like oh wow he isn't lying lol

[@danroberts8078]

@@jonjetmore4018 Very true

[@MPHswayze]

1:59 Tom's laugh at the end of this anecdote is delightful

[@IGM186]

"Show ya bush!" - Chrissy's dad, yelled at a ballet instructor during technical difficulties.

[@BoudSean19]

The laughs from the people in the background are priceless 🤣

[@Boredbutnotreally]

I love these dad stories segments.

[@rcjames4]

Chris is just a Yankee Theo Von

[@iiBoogieman]

This might be the most factual statement I've ever heard.

[@avg.madman8227]

Yea but Theos stories have the fantastic elements where this seems more rooted in reality

[@BrokenGodEnt]

@@avg.madman8227 Yes, burying a dead penguin off the New Jersey turnpike that your nut bag uncle was feeding cheese and trying to keep cool with a shitty AC is less fantastical than a Theo story lmaoo. I think the bigger difference is that Theo will very much just say some of the craziest shit you've ever heard and act like he was talking about grabbing the mail at the end of the driveway.

[@DekkarJr]

He is WAY funnier than Theo tho :P

[@avg.madman8227]

@@BrokenGodEnt Well penguins can be bought. It would probably die if you fed it cheese and kept it too hot. And I’d hide the body too, I’m sure it didn’t happen but still. Theo makes up impossible stories that aren’t even possible at all.

[@chosenArchitec]

Wtf.. As he was talking, everything just got animated in my head like if it was a cartoon 😂

[@triscuit816]

thats the mark of a good storyteller right there

[@juantellez2633]

Youre on acid

[@chosenArchitec]

@@juantellez2633 nah lol

[@chosenArchitec]

@@colinkeanful he can get who ever did Bill Burr's 👍

[@Alim31507]

@@chosenArchitec that guy ended up in prison

[@emmanuelenyinwa1443]

This guy's after my heart. His Mountain Dew story is exactly what I normally do when I go out with the kids, down to "don't tell mom".

[@TheTeamedwardrocks]

Wait whattttt! Is that an old story? I saw him live yesterday and he said he was trying new material and told the audience the Mountain Dew story 😭

[@sizedtoaster0278]

I've come back to this story so many times. I miss my dad. If he would've survived cancer, he and my mom might of gotten divorced. Lol. I love both of them.

[@j.p.8213]

Takes the bus from Florida..."The Chinese' not gonna take me down! My veins are red, white & blue!" Best Dad Ever!! Lolz 🤣🤣🤣

[@KapitainvonHass]

My dad's the same way

[@cbreezy623]

I think he took a local bus. It sounded like it happened before he moved and they lived in the same city at the time.

[@GREGGFOWL]

Thats what the majority of american feels thats why america is no 1 country with the most infected

[@KapitainvonHass]

@@GREGGFOWL that's mostly because of the Leftists

[@JorgeIMunozMusic]

@@cbreezy623 as a native New Yorker, it was definitely here in nyc, especially with the Mayor "Deblasio" reference , this was gold

[@SiQuemaCuhh]

Hearing stories like this makes me wish I grew up with my dad. I continue to hear stories of my old man that only can bring a smile to my face. Enjoy your loved ones while you have them around. Forget about what ever problems you have with them. None of it is worth not having the love from a son/daughter or a mother/father. Trust me

[@darrenbennett1053]

Who is always laughing in the background ? That laugh is awesome lol 😂.

[@wilsonpacheco80]

Blue ban aka nadav

[@murderc27]

Some Jewish guy.

[@jefflabbecomedy]

*Hakuna Mattata!*

[@skeglar]

Either his therapist and him were laughing during the sessions together or the therapist was laughing at home about his stories haha

[@johnyhuizar7527]

"Hakuna matata" lmfao my ribs are hurting man

[@MrPhelep]

Least funny part

[@alex.profi27]

@@MrPhelep for you

[@Eriey3]

I need Chris to ask his dad how and why he lost God September 21st 1979 😂🤣

[@TheBlackMambaa248]

I don’t think we wanna know😂

[@nickmorton2354]

If you’ve ever seen American history X, it’s probably the same way as Edward Norton stopped being a Neo Nazi.

[@GoldenBoar]

Yes

[@nickmorton2354]

@@GoldenBoar that’s so helpful

[@weizhongxianfumariobeans7788]

Shower situ

[@apache313]

Chris needs to do a podcast with his Dad

[@mikejgebhart145]

seeing tom laugh this hard is so satisfying

[@aquachonk]

Chris is so sharp and aware, I often wonder what he would have become if he hadn't been so emotionally damaged.

[@ernadminic7377]

“The imam started a prayer in Muslim”

[@nardinit]

"Imam Omar, or the sultan...i dunno a nice muslim guy" I died

[@srsucioguapodelsur8845]

Yo, give the kid some credit, he’s walkin’ here!

[@rustyshackleford2007]

@@srsucioguapodelsur8845 fuckin lol

[@Jheassler]

There’s penguin skeleton remains on the side of the New Jersey turnpike😂 forreal

[@enrig94]

Then scientists will say it’s from 2 million years ago when there was an ice age ...

[@giovannicollazo-cruz2193]

@@enrig94 bobby fucken pets was here

[@williamwhitfield6225]

There’s probably more than one lol

[@maxcardamon1534]

Holy shits rare that I laugh out loud at a podcast but I was just in tears over this. Hilarious

[@zk9494]

The guy in the back just losing it in the back had me 😂😂. I live for this

[@earljohnson2676]

I can listen to this dude tell his dad stories all day that’s comedic gold Jerry gold Jerry

[@brandonpotts54]

God I love Italian people.

[@kye4216]

He’s German

[@lb7216]

literally german though

[@Dhardy316]

Try living with them...you wont feel the same

[@lancermaza6726]

@@kye4216 germans don’t sound like that tho

[@APAL880]

@@lb7216 You people who actually believe 23 and me like it's Gospel are cringe.

[@Parloso]

My dad did the same type of thing at a Lakers game at the Forum and a Dodgers Game in the 90s. I returned the favor years later at a couple of ProBowls in Hawaii. Family have such a strong position in the molding process. Love hearing stories like these.

[@TodaysDiscipIe]

God bless that therapist. Fucking GOLD!!

[@ericoliver1603]

every single story is hysterical, everything

[@gianniclaud]

I absolutely love Chris. His dad is gold

[@MrAguiar10]

one of the best episodes! Chris D is so funny and then watching Tom laugh makes it even better

[@velvet_thunder1835]

Chris episode stands out to me amongst all the guest. I laughed hard throughout the entire episode. Loved it

[@gburyhockey9]

1:49 the howling laughter in the background lmao

[@codybolo7803]

Tom loved this way more than he should ve

[@zap7026]

6:03 - Christina P: "Ebony and ivory...IMAM!" 😂🤣👍

[@chrisstennett1592]

The last 10 seconds of this clip had the most jaw dropping moment…lol more please

[@samuelwoods164]

I like him, he is a naturally funny guy.

[@jdawg93]

Jesus the stories never end! I'm dying over here 😂😂😂😭

[@Lena-uh3ky]

it's 2 o'clock in the morning and I'm trying not to crack up completely in laughter I swear to God!!!😂😂😂😂

[@harryfabian]

Maybe the record for most words per second in any KZbin video ever.

[@trevorpanetta3562]

If you’ve never met a NYer that’s how they all talk lol

[@HeyyyPuti]

Future paleontologists are gonna dig up that penguin one day like “wtfffffff is a penguin doing in Jersey???!! 🧐” 😂😂😂

[@thekeester9632]

Christine- "Ebony and Ivory?" adorable and hilarious.

[@ambitionx1639]

I could listen to you both talk about your father’s forever 😂 its nonstop hilarious

[@danb4811]

Watching tom laugh at the baseball story is awesome

[@acescalade4351]

😂 10:24, got me too!

[@danielpenrodii2389]

Something tells me Bert and Chrissy’s dad would get along.

[@maximeanselot3007]

Please someone animate this story

[@colleenbenson7755]

The stories Chris has about his Dad are hilarious!

[@g.rootedmvmnt]

“Hakuna Matata!” YOOO IM CRYING

[@Adam_K14]

'he was doing a prayer in mozlem' 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@George2647g]

The funniest part of this whole thing is that his therapist THERAPIST was like eh I can’t fix you but your problems are HILARIOUS! Please go tell them on a stage somewhere! Lol

[@leejamesphoto]

I wish you could bottle Toms laughter and gift it to people who need it.

[@mikegarcia2104]

I truly enjoy Chrissy's story time

[@Treasuremonk]

150 years from now someone will be digging up that penguin skeleton and saying “how in the hell did a penguin get here“

[@jbshaver829]

Chris Distefano is a National treasure

[@timboslice8559]

Chris deserves a bigger following I love him

[@Info.isfree.openmind]

Theo and Chris need to write a movie about two kids being best friends and all the childhood antics growing up to adulthood that would be a good comedy!!!

[@zachwilkinson3987]

11:02 look at the open tabs

[@NobodyUR]

Love this guy's father. 👍

[@jsnmdn2738]

What i got from this is that 1000 years from now archeologist are gonna think that there was a species of Penguin that lived near New Jersey

[@FantaTheRogue]

Hakuna matata HAHAHAHA man im dying , i love his dad stories :p

[@josemelendez8549]

His dad reminds me of some of the people I met at the intersections of Eastern Parkway Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn back in the 70s

[@0ussama01]

This was a wiiiiiiild clip It just keeps getting better and better 🤣

[@tokindawg3271]

That Hakuna Matata shit almost sent to the er bro I’m not even lying I thought broke my rib laughing

[@paulsingh2849]

Tommy loving this is amazing

[@irishbearsfan12]

Those Patriot veins !! 😂 tommy segway !

[@barrackobama5470]

Just the thought that someone might one day dig up a penguin Skelton just of the New Jersey turn pike is hilarious

[@CommonCentrist82]

If I had a doctorate degree, and changed careers and became a stand-up comic, I'd still have them introduce me as Dr (fill in the blank).

[@Blackbirdinthedeadofnight]

Hi ross

[@jackrixon2687]

Tom laughing makes me so happy

[@bobbydigital8243]

"I had an uncle who owned a penguin". Is something you cannot make up, lol.

[@austinsandifer5006]

Chris Dad is a Savage😂😂😂

[@SimpIyJon]

"red, white, and blue"

[@saimrahman3791]

"hakuna matata" I'm Dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@nitingurung3276]

The content I didn’t know I needed

[@rozycantsay3587]

Chrissy’s dad stories are great.

[@heyyouguuys7939]

One of the greatest dads of all time

[@4MarkyMark4]

I rewatch this clip when I miss my dad. If you grew up Italian you can relate in some way lol

[@MrBarboza92]

11:14 Pretty bold of a therapist saying his whole life is a joke 🤣

[@ChrissyChaosClips]

HAD A BLAST WITH TOM AND CHRISTINA!!! YAAASSS

[@patmetcalf3635]

My dad was a depression-era WWII vet, I was too scared of him to give him any crap...

[@ryangoetz7825]

The people laughing in the background though 😂

[@hippiecheezburger5457]

Chris could go on to be a really really great comedian because of his ability to fluently tell interesting and hilarious stories

[@spacewolfRIFF]

Most definitely the king of dad stories, and you haven’t watched Chris’ 9/11 story he did at the Comedy Cellar, go watch that shit immediately.

[@DaSkonk]

Ya, I second that - brilliantly hilarious bit from Chrissy Chaos, it's outstanding!

[@fionnanomahony8283]

This is the kind of father we all need nowadays 🤣🤣🤣