21 Medieval 2: Total War factions described in 1 sentence

[@RobertusMaximus]

Hey KZbinr nopinkcreations, is everything alright?

[@simenandersen3262]

He disappeared from youtube and discord.. No way to get in contact with him :/ Nopink it's Ximen here, I hope you are alright! Feel free to hit me up!

[@PabloGonzalez-rv9gf]

Byzantines : When your capital can be crusaded and jihaded at the same time

[@tzonihellas3433]

Poor byzantines. All world were their enemies

[@iapetusmccool]

@@tzonihellas3433 and when they catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you. (Wait, wrong franchise).

[@seank4150]

So this is where you have been hiding

[@PabloGonzalez-rv9gf]

@@seank4150 As far from Coh as possible.

[@TrenchcoatNinja3]

@@iapetusmccoolsaw what you did there.

[@Just_som_Ottur]

Should’ve said “the Byzantine empire, where not only do you have to deal with war on all fronts, but if you live long enough, you’ll likely meet both the mongols _and_ the tirmuids.”

[@lyonvensa]

"You either die from both Crusades and Jihads, or live long enough, to die from both Mongols and Timurids"

[@Just_som_Ottur]

Argumenter_Respecter legit had never lasted so long in any campaign before, usually either I’m losing and I just call it quits or win really fast (within the first 100-150 turnsish) and I had only ever seen the mongols. You can imagine my shock, when during the first playthrough with the Byzantine empire, how my every attempt to spread was thwarted by Venice or German tribes or Egypt, when the bloody tirmuirds came knocking on my front door near Russian territory! It was like, maybe turn 150-200 something.. yeah.. I was finished... killed plenty of their family members with my royal assassins tho who had been busy with clean-up duty in the south after the Mongolian invasion.. -.-

[@tenbillioneggs]

Argumenter_Respecter truth i remember my last playthrough on my byzantine campaign i deliberately let two turk settlements live so they could take the brunt of the mongols while i fortified elsewhere

[@hamyzschidenfeld3215]

@@Just_som_Ottur German tribes?

[@kreuzrittergottes9336]

the most fun faction IMO. you gotta either win quickly, or get incredibly strong defensively. I use my navy to have a quick reaction force and center my cities around Nicaea, which I turn into a vast fortress, garrisoned with top tier archers and vagrian guards. my best army moves as one with the ships and responds to the various costal cities I have, who are garrisoned just enough with large walls to hold against a siege for several turns until my relief forces arrive by boat to destroy the attackers. rinse and repeat. as for the mongols and timurids, if they go the Russia route, then you simply fend them off from the north with a shield, they will typically stay away. if however they come from bablyon, then you are in for a fight, and had better put all your resources into fortifying Anatolia in preparation for their onslaught.

[@satyakisil9711]

Sicily:Peace was never an option.

[@Roy-em2my]

Satyaki Sil No matter who you are the Sicilian computer will find you and declare war on you 😂

[@breadgod2895]

HRE: Declares war me Also HRE: Doesn't send a single army for 20 turns straight

[@MarcosAlexandre-no3qx]

Better yet. HRE declares war. The pope excomugate you even through you are defending

[@Since-zx9js]

She sends assassins...

[@stefanjevtic7175]

Lazy pricks.

[@seanfernandolopez9139]

@@MarcosAlexandre-no3qx I hate that lol

[@MarcosAlexandre-no3qx]

@@seanfernandolopez9139 every fucking time he do that because you are taking land even thought they attacked you withouth motive, and them you get the mission. Make peace with your enemy even thought its them that attacked you first

[@EinhornBoy-qg9pm]

Me: playing Sicily Sicily: attacks me...

[@abasis.baruti9819]

LMAO

[@RJALEXANDER777]

Technically true if one of your armies rebels.

[@jonathanwells223]

Rob Alexander and they will

[@soos1885]

Me playing as novgorod and I own the entirety of eastern and middle europe having at least 30 full stack armies > Sicily declares war on me

[@zhouwu]

@@soos1885 Actually... Looking at the mentality of Southern Italians... It sounds about right.

[@plutarchvonpluto6439]

"Stealth is optional for this mission" Hungarians:

[@jorvach9874]

@A Lakótelepi Bosszúálló The difference is that the French and English don't have any units that are stealth specialists. The Hungarian unit shown was the "Battlefield Assassins", who can hide anywhere on the battlefield. Despite wearing bright colors. :)

[@OkiWolfGaming]

Bruh we are too cool for this game

[@attilakatona-bugner1140]

@@jorvach9874 it is also one of(if not ) the least historically accurate factions

[@vicePVic]

@Attila Katona-Bugner at least in 1212 ad mod we got the fekete sereg fck yeah

[@taloob493]

@@attilakatona-bugner1140 up there with rome total war egypt

[@justinian-the-great]

Byzantium: *discovers any random nation* That nation: *"So you've chosen death!"*

[@Monika-ok6lp]

Roman Empire: try to keep up our glory my kid Byzantine: *palm face

[@armaholic5949]

@@Monika-ok6lp ?

[@Monika-ok6lp]

The glorious Roman Empire is the father of Byzantine. When the Roman Empire is about to fall, it was divided in to two empires. The Western Roman Empire and Eastern Roman Empire (aka Byzantine)

[@armaholic5949]

@@Monika-ok6lp I know that but the Byzantines didn't call themselves Byzantines, they considered themselves Romans

[@carl-os4603]

@@armaholic5949 Romaioi (literally romans but in greek)

[@tomaszzalewski4541]

I was taking care of my own business as aztecs in america and still sicily found me and declared war on me

[@amandarenner8933]

The second Europeans to discover the Americas it seems.

[@milo8300]

What the fuck

[@weeabooze655]

The Sicilians: NICE PLACE M8

[@fabianustertius6460]

if u give sicly a carrack, That could happen indeed

[@tomaszzalewski4541]

@@fabianustertius6460 I didn't that's the best part, AI usually builds whatever is available in building slots. In both rome total war (AI is very similar) and Medieval 2 when you left a settlement only with for example catapult builder, then the AI would spam catapults in it (did it once in BI, and in the Teutonic). And I literally played as Aztecs (I needed to modify descr_strat to even be able to play as them, so that might have been the reason) because I wanted AI only so a bit surprised that they actually did attack me

[@alvaricoke41]

And remember, this jihad is sponsored by: Timbuktu's merchant guild: "It is legal as long as it sells"

[@slaviclettuce7937]

Hey Hey People

[@KaiserTwo]

Nah bro it’s just your neighborhood local Imam here. That’s what makes Islam so op, it’s free unit xp

[@ellis4091]

A warm thanks to the many members of the merchant's guild

[@mercenarygundam1487]

This made me chuckle. I wonder what the Crusader version is.

[@Albukhshi]

The Merchant Guild extracts only the finest gold! True Malian gold, for true Malians.

[@bobbyfirmansyah8580]

Novgorod tactics. > Spam peasants > March them to the Enemy > Attack the enemy > Peasants get slaughtered > Bring forth the 2nd wave > Get slaughtered again > The enemy is tired > Peasant 3rd wave coming through > Get slaughtered again > 4th wave, forward > Win the Battle > Im a genius tactician, says the Novgorod lord at the corner of the map If you lose, that means you dont bring enough peasants

[@AzoiatheCobra]

Novgorod, the original skaven

[@florians9949]

@@AzoiatheCobra at least their weapons don’t cause half of their casualities.

[@AzoiatheCobra]

@@florians9949 Yet*

[@yamnayaseed356]

I do that but with spearmen

[@kaybevang536]

Sounds like a thing before Stalin

[@0Knighter]

The one about the Pope is far too accurate.

[@blazer168]

I just assassinated that bastard every time he excommunicated me

[@calbanar]

They all are, it’s amazing! :D

[@БерекетКанжанов]

I kill papa in all my campaigns

[@pieterpietersen9438]

seriously, my strat is often just take rome and kill every pope (in militairy conflict), untill one of your guys becomes pope.

[@datdabdoe1417]

I dunno, I find playing to the Popes rules Really helps slow the game down to the point where theres a Slight chance of seeing the Timurids before the victory screen. also I find the Constant economic pressure of Bribing the Pope a Good motivator to not turn my nation into a pile of shit for 1 full stack of dope ass units.

[@curtishamilton5342]

Knights: exists Denmark: TALKING A LOT OF SHIT FOR SOMEONE IN ARMOR PIERCING DISTANCE.

[@saxoDK_1600]

Lol I’m danish, good job 😂

[@romaintagliaferro3189]

I fr laughed out loud

[@peacefulfren8879]

@@saxoDK_1600 based profile picture fren

[@Birginio420]

This gotta be the best comment I've ever read on a TW channel

[@damianthebeholder6775]

Danes: Exist Knights: TALKING A LOT OF SHIT FOR SOMEONE IN AN OPEN FIELD

[@hfar_in_the_sky]

2:24 Boy, don't I ever feel that one. Milan: *attacks me* Me: *counter attacks Milan* Pope: "You keep that up and I will excommunicate you." Me: "But they attacked me first!" Pope: "Yeah, but I want to excommunicate someone and I like them more than you."

[@RobertusMaximus]

A Medieval 2 remaster is inevitable. I hope Feral can improve the Papal system and the constant desertion during crusades

[@moseszero3281]

This is why siege equipment is good. Milan usually only has 2-3 territories. If you are quick you can be like "Milan? Yea... I've owned that forever."

[@hfar_in_the_sky]

@@moseszero3281 Which is well and good if you're playing Venice, Naples, or France. But sometimes I just want to forge the mighty Scottish Empire and when I do that sometimes those pesky Milanese have had the chance to actually grow into a proper country

[@moseszero3281]

@@hfar_in_the_sky I love playing scotland. Usually by time I get to milan I dont care about getting excommunicated. I kill milan then sack rome and keep killing the pope until I get a friendly pope to un-excommunicate me.

[@appendixpower5538]

My entire childhood in 21 sentences:

[@Luis-bo2uj]

HOW OLD ARE YA? 12 ? xd

[@joaomarcelo0031]

@@Luis-bo2uj I see! You are an idiot!

[@kenetickups6146]

Luis Medieval 2 total war came out like 14 years ago

[@amandarenner8933]

@@kenetickups6146 your right I just searched it.

[@KaiserTwo]

@@Luis-bo2uj What do you mean? That makes no sense, “Childhood” extends from 4ish to 14-15 years of age. That’s some stupid thinking

[@mitchellmitting6678]

Denmark: What is...Amour?

[@670HP-Package-NOW]

Fake news

[@mitchellmitting6678]

@@670HP-Package-NOW They said it will protect them from harm against the Danes? You are fake news

[@mitchellmitting6678]

@Sergio Parias That is part of the joke my good sir, said wrong because they are confused by what it is supposed to do

[@bodo-bing]

Baby don't hurt me

[@mitchellmitting6678]

@@bodo-bing Don't Hurt me, No mooore

[@PeruvianPotato]

I remember playing as the Papal States in Medieval 2, I was attacking Sicily and then Milan declared war on me but then their ally, Venice backstabbed Milan and declared war on them. Top 10 most epic plot twists

[@shadownight9956]

I cockblocked mongols with peace treaty for 3 turns in row somehow when ever they started sieging my city as Turks

[@SurveyCorps101]

*Venice backstabs Milan* Venice: The Pope sends his excommunications. *stabs*

[@gideonmele1556]

Italians do like a good side switch

[@wyattfink5827]

Top ten anime betrayals

[@lavaman774]

Uhh how do you play as the Papal States ??

[@far0145]

Milan : Hi I'm Milan! Milan at the next turn: HIPPITY HOPPITY HRE IS NOW MY PROPERTY

[@milo8300]

So true

[@JLrapel492]

Or France!, 😂🤣😅

[@KaiserTwo]

Milan usually dies via Venetian dominance, or gets hardcucked by french

[@IRussian007]

I laughed when teh french one came along. The "i'll sail to their little island and reinvent their language a second time" right after the english clip makes the french sound so bitter.

[@twinzzlers]

I was cheating as the Byzantine Empire one time and had conquered all but Scilly. I liked them and had been life time allies with them. Guess who ended up declaring war on me?

[@masterexploder9668]

No way you would have been life time allies with them, their chronic backstab disorder would show up in the next couple of turns.

[@soos1885]

That's actually typical for italians Lmao😂😂

[@sushimuncher282]

Patent rule of every M2TW games: "There can be only one." >alliance broken! >Sicily have declared War on you! >excommunicated.

[@obijuanquenobi1911]

i call bullshit, sicily always backstabs me after 3 turns of being allies

[@twinzzlers]

@@masterexploder9668 No seriously. I had been allied with them for a long ass while.

[@looker999997]

Oh god, Milan. Haven't played this in like a decade and I remember Milan going *out of its way* to backstab me. Made Montezuma in Civ games look like a rational and well-balanced individual.

[@unknownzzz5115]

Or Gandhi in civ 5

[@Mirokuofnite]

I did one campaign as the English once where I took over the British Isles and just turtled for hundreds of turns. Near end of game I took off the FoW and see that the mongols and Timurids had taken over the world. Mongols in the north, Timurids in the south. Seeing that I invaded the new world and called it a game.

[@limitess9539]

now that's fucking epic

[@eugenefrolov1396]

Wow that must've been cool

[@alexanderthegreat445]

Isn’t that literally how British history went? Pissed off somewhere else and came back to Europe absolutely wrecked.

[@hanzundgunther5224]

@@alexanderthegreat445 no not at all, the english never went anywhere other than England itself and france, aswell as scotland, they only went to america in the late 16 to late 1700's when they united with scotland to become Great Britain.

[@vmthelegend5140]

@@hanzundgunther5224 you forgot southafrica,india and australia and other small countries,non the less england had the biggest empire of all time,if you count the colonise,

[@alexanderthegreat1356]

The one about Spain is so true. When I first started with them I was like “meh they’re kinda boring and don’t have good units” then as it went on I just steamrolled everyone with every op unit in the game

[@robroux6074]

It doesn't make sense...shouldn't they be Catalonia & Castille?

[@alexanderthegreat1356]

Rob Roux they should, and there are various mods where there name is changed to that.

[@ignacio1171]

@@robroux6074 It should be the Kingdom of Castile and León at this point in time. Also Catalonia didn't exist as a kingdom. It was part of the Kingdom of Aragon

[@diegokevin3824]

@@ignacio1171 Catalonia should also be a balkan-level collection of counties (nearly city state level) under aragonese control

[@aviz5044]

@@diegokevin3824 in Catalonia there were a bunch counties, the most important was the count of Barcelona (at some point it was count and viscount of another domains of the region by previous marriages), becaming the "main" force in the Hispanic March... In , parallell the Reconquista was being done and the count of Barcelona married Peronella/Petronila of Aragon, forming the crown of Aragon

[@Monika-ok6lp]

Byzantine: the battle field for the Crusaders and the Muslim.

[@Monika-ok6lp]

Roman Empire: my "poor" kid

[@shan9usfc]

Praise *Monika*

[@BeStOHoLd]

Until u choose it and become the bullyer of the school :D

[@armaholic5949]

@@Monika-ok6lp ?

[@soos1885]

Get out of here Weeb

[@senseypires8817]

turks: i will conquer the europe, mongols adn timurid empire entred the chat, turks:i have to save the europe from my cousins, İT İS MİNE NOT YOURS (i love this irony)

[@whitemaple1516]

Same

[@elkhaqelfida5972]

sadly its the only few nation who can match their unit in open field.

[@esclavodelsistema9783]

@@elkhaqelfida5972 mamluk archers can too

[@elkhaqelfida5972]

@@esclavodelsistema9783 indeed, but the Turks can spam many more of them. Sipahis, turkomans, turkish horse archers, and mercenaries horse archers. Perfect counter for mongols

[@esclavodelsistema9783]

@@elkhaqelfida5972 oh and the turks also have the jannisary archers, which can deploy stakes

[@cc-bk3tx]

The turks one is on point

[@cc-bk3tx]

@@BringDHouseDown Mongols as you are normally the first one to get hit by the doom stacks

[@masterexploder9668]

They spawn right next to Turks or up to the north in line with Russia.

[@samuelkatz1124]

Here's my take for empire: Britain: you'll spend so much time mucking around in India and America you'll completely ignore the European continent. France: Enjoy being a powerhouse until Prussia and Britain decide to deal with you. Them or your hungry peasants. Spain: Regardless of how big your empire is, your leaders are so inbred you might as well have a sandwich govern the nation. United Provinces: Have fun occupying every trade port on the map, because you're not making money any other way. Prussia: A country so obsessed with a land army, you'll never build a single boat as you conquer Europe like 250 years too early. Austria: Suffering from being torn apart by Protestants, Muslims, Orthodox, and even other Catholics. Poland Lithuania: your best unit in a game of 18th century warfare is spear wielding cavalry, proving that Poland is hated by CA. Russia: Your economy is based on hordes of serfs farming mediocre land until you turn them into mediocre soldiers to fight mediocre wars. Ottomans: Despite having a massive empire and a wide variety of units, your army still thinks they have to besiege Constantinople. Sweden: A country that always seems to find itself in war with half of the world no matter what they do. Marathas: For people who enjoyed medieval 2 so much, have fun playing again with swordsmen, elephants, and garbage artillery. USA: Turn a deep hatred of the British into an unsrippa force because nobody bothers to defend their colonies.

[@RobertusMaximus]

Samuel Katz this is well written. If I create one of these for Empire TW may I consult you?

[@arczi1309]

PLC: If you won't start building your army early on your western neighbors will start reenacting history 70 years to early

[@kagtkalem7115]

Poland's best unit in the game is a 17th century cavalry that you can only use in late game

[@samuelkatz1124]

@@RobertusMaximus no problem man

[@eugenefrolov1396]

Prussia was always squeezed by Poland and Austria in my games. Every single time, even when I gave it tons of money playing as someone else.

[@zerosuitsamus2340]

Mogols: You will work for free because minimal wages still not concerned that time.

[@عثمان-و9س]

Nice

[@scabbarae]

2:16 Venice: "Kids these days will never appreciate the value of frequent balance changes and patches." BRUUUHHHHHH

[@SocratesOnFire7]

I didn't get it, what exactly happened with Venice?

[@caspramio]

@@SocratesOnFire7 Perhaps Venice was the faction with more changes and balances in general if we compare it to the other nations

[@SocratesOnFire7]

@@caspramio Well that's it, I came to Medeival II kinda late so now I want to know how many changes they must have had to justify this meme

[@caspramio]

@@SocratesOnFire7 Perhaps if you search for the patchnotes archive of the game you may find what you serk.

[@SocratesOnFire7]

@@caspramio Yeah, I did that and I didn't really see anything that would fit the meme, but maybe I didn't know what to look for.

[@TeteBruleeFR]

Danmark with enough armor piercing being able to repel a skynet invasion had me real good! Thanks for the good laught

[@Intuplat147]

>peasants crush you Woodsman are actually some of my favourite early game units. They are deceptively good !

[@sstt5585]

I remember using 1 woodsmen unit even in the late game where with good support they could do some serious damage to heavy infantry units (counting the attack damage boost)

[@satyakisil9711]

Russians are really cool. But their axe melee infantry are their nemesis.

[@masterexploder9668]

They pierce armor so they are discount Danish Axeman.

[@garrettcolon20]

not to mention how good Kazaks are throughout the game

[@eugenefrolov1396]

A woodsmen army is cheap and effective. Poland's worst nightmare.

[@Sakarraterrum]

How could I leave without your channel until right now

[@shan9usfc]

Lithuania be like... Lithuania: Why am I hearing Sabaton?

[@trygveblacktiger597]

Teutonic Knights: Why do the forests speak Pagan

[@retardcorpsman]

TrygveBlackTiger Media Teutonic knights, poles and lithuanians: Why do I hear throat singing?

[@horsearcher9325]

"You will evolve from being the greatest existential threat to Europe, to becoming its savior from armageddon." Not by choice i can tell you. Dammit guys, go back! I was here first! It’s my turn to conquer the world! Shoo! [elephant noises] Ahhh!

[@santa173]

Spain: "be careful who u call ugly in high school"... My country 's history portrayed in one sentence.

[@oneringtorulethemagicarp7199]

I mean... didn't last, but sure

[@Watcher-in-the-Dark]

Great video, love to see Medieval 2 still being talked about! Once of my favorite games of all time.

[@thetinyant5251]

Napoleon Total War factions France: You have one good army with one legendary lord. Cannons don't save you unless you have him alive. Britain: Your trade ports get sacked by the dutch and there's nothing you can do about it because your navy's too busy with the spanish armada. Batavian Republic: Autoresolve winners of the century. Austrian Empire: Your armies cannot do a single thing before the enemy takes your capital. Prussian Empire: A winter faction without winter resistance. Russian Empire: We march across our territory, because no one will think about marching on Moscow! The Ottomans: We hate Austria and France. Italy: Italy doesn't exist. Papal State(s): The Pope doesn't like anyone! Hessen-Kassel: Imagine being so pointless a city-state that you're bait for both Prussians and French. Switzerland/Vvurtemburg: No one can stop their advance except literally any Major nation Spain: Your navy needs help from the sleeping admirals. Portugal: Why not declare war on everyone? It's only a small deal. Dresden-Saxony: So much like Austria that you hate them. Bavaria: Wait until the Confederation of the Rhine is complete. Rebels: You're at war with the people you support until you're not.

[@broomy1610]

The virgin French Knight vs the Chad English Longbow-men

[@Martin-zg7hx]

french broken lance? right

[@royasturias1784]

Those English longbowmen had the flex for inventing the dirtiest gesture of the book!

[@zomkino]

@@Martin-zg7hx French northmen invented your language that you speak now, you're welcome

[@crusader7659]

The virgin Frenchman vs the chad Brit, like just generally speaking

[@modarnwarfare2rull]

@@crusader7659 Now both England and France are shitholes lmao

[@Definitely_Not_Sheev_Palpatine]

Me playing as the HRE when the pope excommunicates me for sneezing and all my neighbors declare war on me: "I'm not trapped here with you. You're all trapped here with me."

[@taaschvlogs5832]

Milan: I get your yearly income in one turn.

[@ArariaKAgelessTraveller]

*Laughs in Moors*

[@cba-cx1yc]

2:00 "We will catch Skynet and its robots into a trap, load them into Medieval 2 Total War into AI in campain. Then, we will play as Denmark, and then they will be crushed" -John Cornor

[@countmarkula1993]

The Portugese are the real Irishmen, everyone knows that. Was doing a playthrough as Scotland recently, and Milan decided Scotland had survived far too many turns. I spent 3-4 hours repelling stack after stack thrown at me at Caen and Burges. Little did Milan know that my main army was returning from a cancelled crusade on Tunis (Sicily). And I had been paying uncle Pope each turn. Boy the tables turned when my army crossed the Mediterranean and the Pope called a Crusade on Milan. Lmao

[@KaiserTwo]

Milan was excommunicated?

[@VimcentTrevis]

The russian one is wonderful! XD

[@אביבעזר]

I'm here to declare saints and excommunicate heretics, and I'm all out of saints.

[@Ifoundnohappinesshere]

“Soviet Novogrod” Communism exist in the Medieval? Nice

[@arczi1309]

Carolus of Marx: The Communalist Encyclique

[@Jester_at_arms]

Ruthenia in the Medieval is full of anachronisms like cossaks, Tsar Guards and even faction name.

[@orgoon7697]

Novgorod, dude, Новгород =)

[@MrRonnyGreat]

That was a joke, like Jakov Smirnoff always says. Do you have a sence of humor? Мне шутка понравилась:о)

[@anthonymichael1259]

Denmark vs skynet Very much needed

[@royasturias1784]

Everything else after Judgment Day shall be deemed non-canon once the Danish ground forces save humanity en masse!

[@petesperandio]

Jens Cønnør

[@ValWasTakenWasTaken]

Please do one of these for Warhammer Mortal Empires

[@SAMagic]

Bretonnia: great campaign for those who want to sit around.

[@plutarchvonpluto6439]

He should do one for M2:TW's expansions

[@SimoLInk1698]

Nah, Bretonnia is the faction you choose when you secretly want to play another Total War game

[@aidanmattys7488]

@@SAMagic don't leave it to just the races. Every faction should be given a sentence

[@gaevlebocken]

Shut the f up fantasy arcade nerds

[@epicbattles3170]

I love this game. Thanks for the clip!

[@misanthropicservitorofmars2116]

The Moor campaign was always my favorite. Get fat stacks by controlling the gold and slaves of africa. Then, conquer the Iberian peninsula. Good times.

[@alexandruisac6357]

All the factions: why did you excommuniate us if we just atack the rebels? The pope : SHUT UP! EXCOMMUNICATED EVERYONE!

[@cangooz2240]

kingdom of sicily part is sooooo true hahah great video subscribed

[@ChristosGoulios]

Byzantium will be great Again

[@idontlikerome2744]

0:20 Imagine that Hungary reaching the Atlantic And PORTUGAL!

[@praetorian9823]

I’ve rewatched this an uncomfortable amount of times

[@ysvry]

great video makes me want to play this masterpiece again thx.

[@custer_1376]

Poland without cav: Hello neighboor, Please do not attack me, I’m weak. Poland with cav: kurwaaa! I will destroy you!

[@ludgy7278]

Sicily : in the grim darkness of the 1st milenium there is ONLY WAR!

[@polychronisdoumpas3081]

Well done! I love this kind of videos!

[@wanderingronin6462]

The Holy Roman Empire sentence was so painfully true. The dissapointment was immeasurable and my day was ruined when I finally got them at like turn 150 and found they were just a bit shit (especially the dismounted gothic knights, my would-have-been favourite unit!).

[@HarhanDerMann]

Love the megadeth reference

[@PedroVieira-jv2ef]

WHOEVER THOUGHT YOU'D BE BETTER

[@josephjohnson5415]

I remember first holy Roman empire play through, I was so excited for the two handers in plate armor, only to realize their swords were horribly buggy. What a sad day! British and Italian factions rocked.

[@efsanemuhendis]

It is not bug. It is supposed to be this way.

[@Uragan00829]

@@efsanemuhendis Zweihanders are horrible infantry, actually I would say that they are one of the worst infantry in the game, competing only with horrible Janisary Heavy Infatry, Gothic Knights, Swiss Guard and Obudshaer.

[@efsanemuhendis]

@@Uragan00829 In addition, Swissguard and Obudshaer are usefull against cavalry charges while the rest is totally trash.

[@Uragan00829]

@@efsanemuhendis Kinda? But still, you can use Pike Militia (pikemen are not as bad as people say) instead of Swiss Guard. And I would personaly use Norse Axemen instead of Obudshaer as anti cav unit, even tho they are overpriced, too. But the atleast one shots most cav. And also I would like to say that they are mostly awful in online battles, becase money matters in them. In campain, I would say they are OK - atleast you don't need to.use Feudal Knights (dism.) or dism. Sipahi Lancers all the time!

[@efsanemuhendis]

@@Uragan00829 On Turkish campaign hashasim is the only infantry I use. Two handeds deffinetly needs a buff and spears dont do well against other infantry.

[@liquidpotato5343]

Me and my Russian peasants: chilling in Russia Sicily: you dare oppose me mortal

[@KaiserTwo]

I have never seen Sicilian behavior like this, either that or I capitulate them Immediately and exile them to africa

[@josecruzguzman9246]

Doing TOTAL WAR ATTILA IN A NUTSHELL

[@angeladetommasi2459]

The best of your channel

[@foolishstrudel2689]

Everyone (including the Aztecs): Running away from the Mongols and Timurids Sicily: Finally a worthy opponent, our battle will be legendary!

[@KaiserTwo]

Sicily is dead by then. Exiled to Africa

[@JonatasAdoM]

Played long enough to see Timurids but never managed to get to freaking America! It's really cool the first time

[@niallreid7664]

I swear to god, I have been playing this game on and off for years. I only just found out about the Timurids from this video. I thought the Mongols were the only ones to be worried about.

[@KaiserTwo]

How? You must’ve not had many hours on this game! You didn’t even touch custom battles?

[@niallreid7664]

@@KaiserTwo Nope! And I would keep restarting the campaign over and over after a certain point. Not anymore though, and I play with Stainless Steel.

[@JonatasAdoM]

0:27 Normands in a nutshell.

[@hannibalburgers477]

2:06 It is historically accurate. HRE was a disappointing garbage IRL.

[@mr_fyahz9624]

LMAO I cant share this with anyone But you had me laughing the while time Sicily LOLed

[@teeheeteeheeish]

I liked this a lot more than I thought I would

[@linesky105]

Hey, I do not usually play calvary so anyone knows which calvary unit in 1:42? The one who charges to the peasant unit.

[@RobertusMaximus]

That's footage from Total War: Warhammer 2 playing as Bretonnia

[@linesky105]

@@RobertusMaximus Thanks for the answer man, and good video too.

[@astral9138]

> be me > play the Byzantine Empire and reconquered the lost lands > ally the Sicilians and Venetians > after one turn they declared war on me > me surprised Pikachu face

[@willemverheij3412]

HRE still has their imperial knights with their maces, reiters and some other good units. Also a cool color scheme, which can't be said about Hungary and the Byzantines.

[@kubaGR8]

Imperial knights have poor morale, though. But teutons rock and so do mounted gothic knights. The dismounted ones, however, have sucky stats. Not only do they not use shields, they also have a lower defence skill than sword+shield infantry.

[@sernoddicusthegallant6986]

Sounds like you need some of the purple stuph

[@brandonmorrell4340]

As a Denmark-main, can confirm we've saved Europe from miscalculated Skynet time travellers in at least 4 campaigns, and yet the Pope still ex-communicates us for defending ourselves against the HRE.

[@smdrobot]

Can we please get more of these total ear 1 sentence videos? Maybe even for mods like DaC?

[@giorgiannicartamancini3917]

I recently played a long campaign as Sicily and actually ended up at war with practically everyone except the pope(he was at war with Milan and kept huge stacks near all my cities, never been more afraid of excommunication) and met both the hordes lol

[@sethleoric2598]

Other factions: let's wait till our "allies" are at war with another faction to backstab them! Sicily: WAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

[@ChuckyMaster]

HAHAHA EPIC VIDEO MAN! GOD BLESS YOU!

[@alexalexandrov7767]

I’ve gotten excommunicated in every game I played not my fault the pope wasn’t the one I liked so I killed him like twelve times

[@kreuzrittergottes9336]

its challenging, but ive played as the popes bitch before, and ensured that every pope came from my faction, and I wielded the excommunication against all my enemies. sucks because sometimes you have to stop an effective attack but when you have perfect standing in the popes eyes, you can get away with a lot, and have free troops to boot.

[@BroomroomrooomboomBroom]

You should keep doing this kinds of video its good

[@scandicwolf]

This was actually hilarious!

[@solinvictus2132]

The Sicilian one made me laugh so hard

[@petesperandio]

Oh, so you think to laugh at us eh, you despicable rake? *Sicily declares war*

[@sketchygetchey8299]

Random faction: *attacks you* Papal States: *silent* You: *attack a faction* Papal States: EXCOMMUNICATED!!!!!!!

[@RobertusMaximus]

TRUEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

[@johnrichardson7310]

This as the hre! I just completed my first total war medieval 2 long campaign as the HRE! I did everything at first to try and be in good relationships with the papacy at first by completing quest given by the church and go on two crusaders on Cairo and Jerusalem! Get excommunicated twice for retaliating against the factions whom betrayed me which were Hungary ,France and Poland. While at the end of the campaign I was at war with France,Scilly,Vince,the moors,and the Danes. I had took most territory of France ,scilicy,Vince,Poland and Hungary. l destroyed Malian early to mid because they keep betraying me but it was expected because they are dicks and in late game I steamrolled through Poland, Hungary, Scilly, and France! . The only faction that was loyal to me was Spain i gave them some money and military access to keep the moors busy. I used the middle east such as Cario and Antioch regional areas as a naval trading and military base to take out Vince after the crusades and conquest of Milan. Here a tip bring merchant's with you on the crusades for the rare spices and materials to trade with in that region and setup a port and convert a small city into a castle and boom a steady stream of income to build your navy use said navy to make sure your ports stay open while the enemy ports get blockaded. Trade is the lifeblood of your economy and military.You can lose battles,armies and cities but if you more money and better mobility you regroup and survive for another day! I ended the campaign by having two armies take out rome with the emperor. I can see the emperor look at a dead Pope and say excommunicate me now bitch! One army to patrol the HRE territory and one army in the middle east.while two armies more with Spain took out France as bros. This was on medium difficulty. I love this game I can't wait for total medieval 3!

[@ispeaku759]

Russia: if Mongols and Timurids spawn in Middle East to march against Antioch, I'll live a bit longer.

[@yuuyakizami2133]

If only the 2 handed bug didn't exist, then the HRE would be a terrifying faction to fight against in late game

[@shepi9453]

hahah this was awesome ! :D please make more =)

[@ninjartist36]

Numidia: Who are you? Scotland: I am you but medieval

[@mittenstherealest]

lol 2real

[@hesshonda1765]

This video needs more praise

[@caesaraugustus5558]

Me playing as any faction nearby Italy or in Italy itself *Tie me to a missile and fire me at Milan, i'm ready*

[@Vladmontes7619]

When you play with Spain: *create a port in Zaragoza * France at 2 turns: I'm sorry but I feel obliged to block your port and put an army of 3000 peasants in the Pyrenees, for the next turn to unlock the port as if nothing had happened and even so I will never accept an offer of peace

[@gdoom-5]

So true

[@ITakeItGood]

I have 574 hours in Medieval II, and have never even made it to the Mongol invasion. I just get bored after a certain point and start over.

[@talknight2]

I have probably a thousand hours and I can say the same :D

[@modarnwarfare2rull]

Same, as soon as I capture a sizable portion of the map it becomes too easy, never finished a long campaign.

[@matiasfuselli3702]

Mongols and Timurids are the only challenging civs at late game up to a point that's ridiculous!! I've fought against them when I had already conquered the entire map, and still they were extremely difficult. Their wealth is endless, and they keep bringing +5K soldiers armies with top generals from the East. At least they are a worthy opponent and large battles are fun.

[@morte2504]

Please make more, I want to see this channel grow :)

[@RobertusMaximus]

Content coming in 2020 :)

[@morte2504]

@@RobertusMaximus Nice! Merry Christmas and happy new year!

[@markusrosner8468]

Best description of the Medieval 2 Total War factions ever! Except for Spain, Portugal and Milan, those are factions with great potential.

[@deagle2898]

u make good stuff -w-

[@amardeep_singh_chauhan]

"But in Soviet Novgrod The Pessants Crush You" Lenin be like 👍👍👍👍👍😍😍😍😍😍😍

[@bryanjacla1068]

MUST CRUSH CAPITALISM!!!!

[@INVICTUS95]

Its really a shame that the holy Roman Empire is so bad in medieval

[@Midironica]

They aren't bad by any stretch, they just have the biggest collection of units that should be good but aren't like the Gothic Knights and their pistol wielding cav unit.

[@lyonvensa]

Not to mention that it's hard for them to expand anywhere that doesn't result in excommunication and invasions at every front.

[@georgikirilov4578]

With HRE you must destroy Denmark and all Italian states until turn 40 to 50. This is how i survived on Very Hard.

[@Midironica]

@Wuanslm Reiters can be good, but in a competitive situation they are trash. They require lots of babying and even then their firing rarely seems to do much damage. I'd much rather have another unit of feudal knights or even those mounted crossbowmen.

[@KitsuneNiko]

Yeah i feel that. They were the first guys i played as and to this day i've yet to find a simple way to win as them.

[@vladnegru514]

we want more of this

[@tvnetworks6610]

0:42 This is just a timestamp I made for my self

[@JLrapel492]

😂

[@dasberk4971]

MOAR OF THESE VIDS please