251. Compatibility

[@nationnat1025]

My ex told me this when we broke up, but when I questioned her about it, she seemed to stall a bit, but did kind of indirectly admit to losing feelings. I think it was the end of the honeymoon stage that she thought it was time to break up, as our relationship only lasted close to 4 months. I feel like she thinks that if she has no romantic feelings, she wont want to be in a relationship with you and once she told me you shouldn't have to work in a relationship, you just let it gel. She seems to be a firm believer of a soulmate also. Basically, when she started to lose feelings or the infatuation worn off, we started to argue more and this gave her reason to think we're not compatible, even though I told her all couples argue now and then, but you work through it. Idk, I feel like in her mind it's a valid reason to end the relationship, but to me, we just had some issues that needed to be worked out. We both have flaws and argued now and then, but over small and pointless stuff. We've only had one massive and serious fight and it happened after the breakup. We never disagreed on politics, we both believe in Christianity, so religion was never an issue, shared similar passions such as traveling, aviation, and animals, etc. So really, I couldn't seem to reason with her, but like I said, it's enough for her and infatuation wearing off. Idk what to do now. I've made some big post-breakup mistakes that have probably ruined my chances

[@hgzmatt]

Oh yes this is so true. We were 100% compatible during the honeymoon stage and then suddenly over small issues we broke up? I was so willing to work it out. She told me she was committed a week before.. what a joke. She has a lot to learn (I do too) and you can't really convince them.. they have to learn it. She is lucky I try to be mature and understanding.. so that if she does come back I might give it a shot. But breakups are painful and she'll have to put some serious effort in.

[@hgzmatt]

There is a video by craig kenneth on the phases of a relationship and how after the honeymoon/romantic phase you reach the "power struggle". Seems quite natural and everyone has to go through this at some point.

[@face2799]

I just went through this exact situation, everything was fine then we had 1 argument that wasn’t even that bad a boom she says we are incompatible and doesn’t have feelings for me anymore.

[@abhanshul]

after 10 years she says we are not compatible and she found someone more compatible, it ws about time we would have engaged in few months to come. 10 years just gone in a blink. devastated

[@TheLoveChat]

Stay strong, Anshul!! We are all with you

[@abhanshul]

@@TheLoveChat thanku rory now after your video i have realised we were not incompatible as she told me on the day of breakup. i am in no contact since 1 month and few days. your videos are quite helpful. Thank you so much

[@chevy2583]

I feel your pain bro! That is terrible feeling. I have almost same situation. Cant understand how people change this way!!! Stay strong bro!

[@simonsteadman3276]

When you experience this you realise how amazing a relationship can/should be and how others will never quite stack up.😊

[@airarose6248]

I like these longer videos, Rory! Look forward to them - compatibility is an important one. My ex and I definitely didn’t take each other too seriously, that’s one of the things I liked most. He was always able to see the lighthearted side of things, and could make me laugh if we ever had a misunderstanding. And I also appreciated the fact that we were super supportive of each other’s growth 🙂 But alas in LDR relationships, that can mean going separate ways. He still likes my LinkedIn job updates, lol guess we both still wish the best for one another.

[@alexiab2598]

Hey Rory!! I love your stuff. Have you thought about making it in podcast form? It'd be perfect for that medium

[@TheLoveChat]

Hello Alexia - it's on Spotify! Check it out. :)

[@weirdwolf888]

Sooooo true: don't take each other (or yourselves) too seriously!

[@jackeliot4497]

I have given up on my ex coming back and was officially okay with not hearing from her again. She texted me a week later and met up with me. We both met up and are currently seeing each other. This video came at a great time. I’m trying to figure out how different we both are so a gap could be bridged. Thanks Rory for the videos that held my hand through this tough time.

[@vittoriolasam912]

Who broke up with who and for how long did it take before she contacted you? Was it just a week later after the break up or a week after you've gotten over her

[@jackeliot4497]

vittorio lasam it was 5 months. She broke up with me and we had dated 3 years prior.

[@vittoriolasam912]

Almost relatable. It's 7 months in, never heard jack shit from her. We had a lil over 2 years under our belt. I guess it's over

[@jackeliot4497]

vittorio lasam it’s not over. Don’t wait for her but move forward. Date other girls and maybe in the future if she’ll show back up. I have to say you should consider the possibility that she will be different from what you last new. Because realistically she is. For better or for worst. Realistically the image you built for her will fall through when you see her so be prepared. Otherwise progress in life for you and she might pop back up.

[@vittoriolasam912]

Sorry dude, but we went LDR after she graduated from college (which was during our 2 years together). I don't think i got any shots left on this with her.

[@emocentofficial3487]

Who was happily looking for a soulmate, but feels like they ended up with a degree in psychology specialising in narcissist personality disorder? Big thanks to our Teacher "Rory" ♥️♥️💔

[@christophervibe7430]

Just remember. If you want to find true love, love yourself first. become the person you want to find and you will be compatible

[@andreaderkum7581]

The whole bit about how important family is combined with getting into a serious relationship in college and not really knowing how to spend time apart... I felt that 😂 needless to say it’s been 7 months no contact

[@lucypaxton3655]

hey rory! love the contents. Would love a video about breakups when they think a relationship will slow down their career. hope all is well :)

[@rondalim3732]

Hi Rory! How important is having a similar sense of humour in compatibility? Also, can couples work out some incompatibility issues?

[@TheLoveChat]

I think humor is very important! I wouldn't dream of dating someone I couldn't laugh with. A very important point you've raised here!! Also yes - I think if couples work to find compromise then a lot of these incompatibilities can be addressed.

[@theseattlegreen1871]

All relationships are temporary. The End

[@giovannisamuel27]

My ex, and I have 95% of these but she`s trying to convince herself that we aren't compatible. Mind You, she's the one who pushed for the relationship relentlessly and after separating (Her idea) she's the one who`s reached out 4-5 times, a few of them were breadcrumbs. I think she`s unclear of how she really feels. (Also im in NC). So its a win-win for me but it is a bit confusing. Feedback would help.

[@alzedi98]

From what I gathered, that hot cold behavior and the bread-crumbing are indications that no contact is working to some extent. Don't budge, especially when they are toying with you to get your attention back. I'd suggest watching some of Rory's & Dating Guy's videos about the dumper breaking no contact and hot-cold behavior. A quick summary of some of their advice that may help you depending on how the situation develops: Lay it on the table during hot-cold behavior: Don't let her treat you well and then drag you through the mud. Don't encourage her bad behavior. Don't budge. (DG and Rory both have vids on hot-cold scenarios) "I still want to be your friend": There might be a time where she wants to "continue as friends". Whether it's to keep you close while she decides what she want or for her own satisfaction, we really can't read her mind, so be careful on assuming stuff. If and ONLY IF (I can't stress this enough) she tries to "continue as friends" (which isn't an uncommon scenario) be frank: You are not interested in being just friends, you are interested in a relationship. Continuing as friends will not help you get them back, trust me on this one, happened to dumber, younger me before finding this channel. Go back to no contact, work on yourself. Even if you may be confused with her behavior, you have to present yourself as an person who isn't fazed by this kinds of mixed signals and knows what you want. Who knows? Your security/confidence might help her confirm what she really wants. Strike when the iron's hot: Dating Guy says this more often than Rory does. Dumper breaks no contact, answer with the same kind of enthusiasm (a reflection of their mood, if you will, try to not surpass their own level... play it cool). You can ask for a casual meet up to catch up and talk. If accepted, go have fun, don't try to woo her back, just be comfortable and don't talk about the breakup unless she brings it up (tread extremely carefully tho). If rejected, play it cool, go into no contact again and work on yourself (that's the crappy, summarized of it, but asking for a meetup or not depends on "how" they break no contact rather than "when") NOTE: I'm not saying to do this now or what not (especially the meet-up, considering the COVID situation). I'm not an expert, just a friendly stranger who wants to help. What you do depends on your breakup situation (as well as how you're holding up after the breakup). Watch more vids or schedule a coaching session if you can. Join the discord too, there is a lot of support from the community! Hope this helps, stay strong mate. You are gonna be alright! Sending ya hugs and best wishes from Mexico!

[@giovannisamuel27]

@@alzedi98 This was very encouraging words. Really appreciate it.

[@sean-m4g5k]

WOOOOO! Its out! :D Thanks, Rory!

[@emocentofficial3487]

Hey Rory, About this video - I relate to me and my ex, I realize that I was the one who was trying to do all the right things you have mentioned about compatibility and she was doing probably 2 out of 10 things you listed. Deep down inside I feel sometimes she is not very nice person but sometimes I doubt that as in beginning she was nice to me. About No contact - after begging and pleading and try to convince her through logics she just met me one time (compassionate way) and had sex (her choice to do sex) but next day again broke up, I realize I had to cut contact so it's been almost 1 and half month I want to share with everyone how I feel, I feel headaches, I am not having proper sleep, I feel sorry for myself, my best friend sick of listening my break up story 1000 times and on the other end she just seems to be completely fine (not stalking just found out as we work in a same company) I just want this pain to be end soon somehow but seems impossible and also I realized now that how she must be feeling when I was begging and pleading (only sorry for myself) so atleast I am holding onto no contact but as this is my first major breakup i was doing the begging and pleading because hey life doesn't come with manual instructions guide I found this channel after I did all that nonsense. I just want this to share with people to feel good. I don't want any advice Rory and DG taught me alot already but this sucks specially during this lockdown. ♥️

[@linasayo2426]

This video was so helpful in many ways thanks this video rory!

[@SnowFallPH]

Thank you.. I believed you have seen my old comment in a video about making this topic.. Thankyou so much rory!

[@alexgreen1913]

I'm learning so much. last year 2019 I've been thrown into this Journey Feb 2019. I need to change. I need to heal my anxious attachment.

[@ritikasharma3091]

Thankyou for this video. Can you make a video regarding romantic relationships? Thankyou.

[@JustinBiggsNoble]

Can you do a video on handling a break up or being better or the mistakes made in a relationship when battling with mental health like anxiety, depression, etc

[@simonmorrison9265]

Hello, thanks for these videos! Just a quick question and a yes or no answer will suffice, but my ex has had covid19 and also was in the ER four days ago with something really nasty and only just survived. Should I contact her to wish her well? I do want her back, and I haven't contacted her in 2 months/when we broke up.

[@granitmeri]

Hey Rory. Now in this quarantine time, I've been talking to a girl on social media. We talk over video when we can or write sometimes during the day. She lives in a different country from mine. But I have a weird(not in a good way) gut feeling about her. I can't explain it. I think it's maybe that I haven't established a trust bond with her yet, that sometimes I have doubts about what she says, when she's late or her excuses sometime. Maybe it's me going kuuk kuuk in this quarantine hahahah but is it okay for us, dating in this time, to judge them not compatible, without having met them? What are you thoughts about this?

[@hgzmatt]

I think doubts are natural. Don't let your anxiety ruin it.

[@mamoud6648]

Rory thoughts on emotional cheating aka flirting with other people. My girlfriend felt so betrayed and upset. It wasn’t my intentions I tried explaining it to her. We ended breaking up I apologized and promise to stop. She accepted but didn’t take me back. I went into no contact, should I reach back out at some point. Since I’m in the wrong

[@WHaAteVaA]

after 3 months maybe

[@josefmadrid]

So many to consider , i guess single now until forever ( smh )

[@annejean3767]

Hey Rory, thank you for what you do, your videos are helping me so much during this hard time. I've been wondering about something and maybe you could help - what do I do if my ex reaches out while we're in two different countries? Because of the virus I can't come back to the country where we both study, and I don't expect to be able to do so for the next few months. I know it might not happen, but if he reaches out and all seems to be going well, do I ask him to meet up in a few months? I'm just not sure how to handle it, even though I know he might simply not contact me, which is also fine.

[@TheLoveChat]

Dates can be arranged via facetime/skype/hangouts something like that. You can ask to meet up for a date via one of the programs!

[@annejean3767]

@@TheLoveChat Thank you for finding time to reply! That's exactly what I was thinking! Have a good day :)

[@olivia7977]

We checked or half checked every box but he blindsided me and broke my heart...

[@schuylerwednesday4679]

Please make a video on productive argument if you have more insights on it.what is your stance on "opposites attract"?can being incompatible be reversed?other perspective would be appreciated. Thank you as always. Contents are very substantial.

[@TheLoveChat]

Great suggestion! I'll look into it

[@hgzmatt]

I don't believe you can become incompatible.. if you were at some point. If both want it it will work. Just another lazy grass is greener excuse.

[@devilcwesker5980]

Can dumpees go into a rebound relationship? or is it only the dumper

[@theseattlegreen1871]

Both

[@TheLoveChat]

A rebound is simply dating romantically before you are emotionally ready! Anyone can rebound.

[@mathiasH9108]

Oh they can! A rebound is just to mask the pain and hope the other person can 'fix' it. It's a NO GO! Sit with the pain. Feel it. Eventually you will heal

[@christianjosipovic5112]

I have a question, and maybe it's even worth a video. Should I delete pictures of my ex on my Instagram account while I am doing no contact?

[@stella4thewin109]

How do you know if you are the rebound relationship?

[@juliaw5838]

Any live chats happening soon?

[@studentofthegame-stg1178]

If gonna wanna be monogamous and stay monogamous you gotta check them boxes.

[@Walteramirez]

Student Of The Game - STG totally a compatibility issue if the other what’s an open relationship

[@eliskasuchankova9689]

What about video about multiracial relationship? It's also connected with family, traditions and these things. Could u do the video about this topic in future?

[@meenalaregina7770]

Hi! My ex told me that we were compatible, we laugh together, we understand each other but that he was not in love with me anymore. I found the statement to be confusing. In this scenario, given that I was dumped we were fundamentally incompatible and he just said that to be “nice”. Is this the correct interpretation? I would add that another element of compatibility is personal hygiene. It is tied to personal values but it is so important that I believe it merits its own place on the list. I cannot imagine being with someone who is is okay with not flossing, not using soap... etc.

[@Terexzes]

Is it possible for a couple like that end up together again ? I believe there are things that can get sorted out. My gf broke up with me after 2 years and one of the reason she mention that she said is that we are different . I'm not asking to get hope or believe we will be together, Im just looking for stories that proves that this is just bullshit.

[@sweetmery1988]

He doesn’t want to go out with me and my friends. He wants it to be just the 2 of us at home or at a restaurant...He doesn’t want to get to know my friends or any other people of my circle for that matter. He only goes out with his cousins and friends... I think that’s a deal breaker, Despite of me being attracted to him ...

[@PistolPete1980]

Sounds like me.

[@sweetmery1988]

Peter Petruzzi Oh well :)

[@Megadeth6633]

can you make a talk about a short term relationship (6 months) where the woman says she never fell in love? like what are the chances to reattract someone in this case, to give it another go? in my case she's fearful avoidant. She didn't fall in love because I didn't have my shit together, I was lazy, and now I pretty much am the opposite in every way. this was 1 1/2 months ago. She seemed sure, firm, no hesitation or sign of affection. She broke up by text message in quarantine. Which pisses me off and gives me a reason to think she really didn't give a shit anymore.

[@hgzmatt]

She might be unable to have a proper connection.. do you want someone who always keeps you at arm's length?

[@Megadeth6633]

@@hgzmatt I was willing to help her with it. But I screwed up when I told her I was going to get my shit together and didn't, 3 months before she broke up. I think she"s a dismissive that has made a lot of progress in her life and can connect enough, but yes it's still hard for her.

[@hgzmatt]

@@Megadeth6633 I'm sry to hear. I don't know your exact situation but I ran into one where I was constantly trying to fix it and I got all the blame for the problems, she didn't have any accountability. I gave her the benefit of the doubt and she couldn't. At first we tend to blame ourselves but remember.. if she gives up easily, doesn't fight for it it's not happening. As much as you might want it.

[@Megadeth6633]

@@hgzmatt My ex didn't really acuse me or give me a hard time, she just came to the conclusion that I was a useless person that didn't have enough value. I honestly think it's over forever. I'm still recovering because she was the coolest woman I have met, and it's pretty sad. But she never loved me. I keep repeating that to myself. It's so absurd to think about someone who gives 0 f*** about you.

[@hgzmatt]

@@Megadeth6633 Guess you can only prove her wrong then! I dislike that she entered a relationship with you despite her not having feelings. Almost knowing that you would get hurt eventually. I hope you'll find someone who can provide you with the same love and attention or that she'll see the light somehow. :/ all the best

[@chevy2583]

In my case... my gf realized that we are not compatible after 6 years! how this can make sense? We are from different race/religion, she was completely fine with that.... after 6 years she discovered that we don't have future! I asked her many times in the beginning of the relationship if she is sure and she always said YES, suddenly after 6 years, she discovered we are not compatible. She even rejected to give opportunity to work things out and to see if we can make adjustment to make things work.... She rejected to even try or give a chance, she even deleted me from her life, from social media. blocked me everywhere because she considered if I try to make changes she needs is manipulation and she does not even want to see that! I am still under shock! Cant believe that what happened was real! She read lots of stupid blogs on line about compatibility and the wrong definition of comparability.... 15 reason to know you are not compatible couple ... 5 signs of incompatibility, all of this bs written in stupid blogs online!! Sadness is killing me....

[@TheLoveChat]

Typically this means her feelings about you (romantically) changed over time and she is now using the incompatibilities to try and push you away rather than actually meaning them.

[@chevy2583]

@@TheLoveChat very true, she said she was young etc... I will book coaching with you sometime soon. I wish this will change, I truly want her back not only for me, but for her because I know she will face difficulties being alone!

[@breatheliveandthrive7404]

They were never yours; It was just your turn. For whatever is borrowed shall be returned.

[@seeflow]

Zack, she found a new guy and is creating a smoke cloud to make her exit. Her kind (women) constantly look for the next better guy. It’s hard as heck to accept (I know firsthand), but you have to in order to regain self respect.

[@1492r]

I feel you. I was in a similar situation. As long as the relationship isn't toxic, the word "incompatibility" in their terminology is just a fancy way to say that "you are not good enough for me to commit and compromise. I can find better deals." It is not that she can't commit, compromise, and work things out. If she wants to marry and build family, willingly or not she will have to, sooner or later. She just doesn't want to do it with you. On the balance in her mind, you, the person with whom she shared 6 years' life (assuming that you treat her well), weigh less than some Mr. Unknown, who she believes she can find in the future. Ironically, it is usually no one but you who helped her build up that confidence, by offering her constant emotional validation and support. She will notice it along with her overestimation of herself once you are gone from her life. Don't be sad my friend. You don't need change yourself for her and you deserve a better person who respects and values you.

[@markmingard6882]

AMAZING video just what I needed for my situation so keep these videos coming!! So my ex and I never resolved an argument and I came needy and worried she was going to leave me so I always tried to make her feel wanted. As a result it pushed her away and despite me meaning well she ended things with me. I apologised via email (yes not the best thing to do) two months after we broke up. She replied with she felt like we aren't compatible yet the only issue was my anxiety/depression and the unresolved misunderstanding. Other than that we enjoyed doing the same things, and just really had a spark (at least I thought we did) any suggestions or advice would be welcome.

[@hgzmatt]

It takes two to fix it and if she really wanted she would have put in the effort. You can only work on your anxiety but you can't force someone else to put in any effort.

[@markmingard6882]

@@hgzmatt Thank you for your advice. A friend who actually gives decent advice recommended breaking no contact to get a yes or a no answer however my stance is to remain in no contact, it's been almost 7 months since we broke up and I've heard nothing from her so I don't know post pandemic if it's worth doing this/trying to catch up with her. I don't know how long my resolve and self discipline will last as I'm scared she'll never reach out

[@hgzmatt]

@@markmingard6882 I'm worried that you'll just end up running after her again. I would definitely not try and get an answer out of her. Most advise taking it slow and see if it progresses naturally. If you force an answer she might default to the breakup reason. I would only contact her if you are sure you are in control of yourself.

[@markmingard6882]

@@hgzmatt I'm going to wait for sure until she's on holiday and the pandemic is coming to an end before doing anything. If I'm very self disciplined then I won't chase her, I know that's not the way to go about things. I've managed not looking at her social media or reaching out since I broke nc the first time. I'm just scared that if I don't act soon she'll move on forever especially as she hasn't reached out for 6 months. Is that a bad sign?

[@tindplus3505]

I wish I listened to this before he left me.. things got serious and he left me 😭

[@heiheinoo3871]

How do we win a session???

[@TheLoveChat]

I'll announce whenever i'm doing giveaways in videos!

[@gabewrld1667]

Should I contact my exes mother for Valentines?

[@mikereid3069]

No because it's the wrong time of year.

[@gabewrld1667]

Mike Reid should I text her mother for Mother’s Day?

[@mikereid3069]

@@gabewrld1667 If you are in no contact then I'm sure the good coaches would advise you not to. If you are trying to get on the good side of their mother in the hope she will persuade them to take you back then I don't think that is a good strategy.

[@chasesebastian3064]

@@mikereid3069 lol!!

[@emocentofficial3487]

Only if you want to date her mother otherwise don't contact 👍

[@richagupta834]

Everyone cheats .. no one actually love .. they all change after some time .. people get marry nowadays as it is some agreement

[@Jcampbell4321]

Hi Rory. This significant other wants to spend every single second, if we move in together. And I’m saying well you’re going to want girl time. And I want guy time and of course if it’s couples then yeah come thru. But she always calls it quits when she doesn’t get her way. What do you recommend about this avoidant style

[@TheLoveChat]

Threatening the relationship as a means of getting what you want is extremely unhealthy. Essentially your partner is weaponizing the relationship against you. I think you should have a serious talk about this - and be willing to walk if you don't get what you need.

[@Jcampbell4321]

The Love Chat I know we can’t change people. And it’s really stressful on my end. I know you talked about anxious attachment last week. And I’ve been trying to get her to see that spending every second is really suffocating. But there is never anyone’s way but her’s. I’m going to gather my thoughts and talk.l w/ her

[@jessherac]

My ex broke up with me because he thinks we are not compatible, after 2 years saying our differences were little and created balance. We had a great comunication, supported each other in our personal projects, his family loves me, my family loves him too, etc...the thing was that his lifestyle is more of party, drinking, hanging out with friends (sometimes friends that do drugs), smoking cigarettes and sometimes weed, he thinks this is normal and I don't even drink alcohol, I meditate and the party thing gives me so much anxiety. We tried so hard to understand it, to make it work because we really love each other but at the end I was mad and anxious all the time, I didn't have peace of mind, he would get upstet about that and he decided he wanted to keep having that lifestyle, felt like I wanted to change him (and yes I made that mistake, but I just wanted to help with a healthier lifestyle). I told him we could work it out the right way, facing the root of the issue instead of blaming the other, but he didn't want to, he thinks there is no solution and he just wants to smoke, consume and party without anyone saying a thing about it. I wanted to work it out because all of the great things about our relationship, but he chose other things over that...nothing to do I guess.

[@schuylerwednesday4679]

Hope things would work out well for you.sometimes there are people who think they don't see any need to change for the better.I get the point of appreciating and loving oneself regardless of flaws but if there are actions or words that already hurt or affect the people around you in a negative way then maybe that person should step back and analyze themselves and change for the better rather than glorifying and justifying that negative part of themselves.many times these people will realize that on their own and it takes time.as long as you have done your part and voiced our your concern your efforts are already commendable.it can get frustrating but just be a positive influence as much as you can and in time he will come around and see your real intentions.

[@danielavallejo7306]

Probably not the same case, but simmilar. My ex bf is from the Netherlands and I am from South America, different cultures, lifestyles, characters, etc. I thik as you did, that we could work things out, but at the end, came into play things like you said, recreational drugs, that I was not aware of, not communication and just avoidance, to finally break up because for him, our relationship was already complicated enough, and he was missing a sort of feeling in our relationship. I wanted to save him as well, to be good for him, but, now reflecting, I know that I cannot save anyone nor change his mind about his prorities in life or his willingness to fight for this relaitonship. Maybe you dont see it now, but, give yourself time to heal, there are more people out there, but most importantly choose yourself first.

[@jessherac]

@@danielavallejo7306 yes, learning a lot in this process. I've been so confused, feeling like it was my fault and all of that. I know that my mistake was trying to "fix" him, now I know it's not possible, I only can change myself and for myself. Thanks for sharing your story :)

[@patrickseto661]

I know that things can be hard.... I wasnt with my girlfriend for longer then 5 months unfortunately, but even though it was short if you want to consider that, I felt very connected to her, even though she was from a different place, in Guatemala, while I was from here in the United States. I learned to speak her language and did the best I could to bring her happiness, and because of that I really thought we were compatible, but then things changed. One day people told her that I said some horrible things about her that weren't even true, like how they said that I said of how she only wanted me for my money and papers, when I never said that. And she chose to believe them over me when I never gave her a reason to lie or say such things, and that broke me in pieces, still broken even now, and I'm just so confused of how she could break us apart do easily without a second thought.

[@patrickseto661]

All I know is that you Rory and Dating Guy are the only ones keeping me above water and seeing the light still.

[@hgzmatt]

I can relate.. you put all the effort in though.. it's on her to return the favour.. if she wants it she'll make it work. It sounds like an excuse to me.

[@0164019310]

Rory. Let's just say she enjoys some personal time, encourages self improvements, and is super supportive in bettering for both partners. But the catch here is, she ended up felling for someone else at work and ended up "taking a break" with the previous partner and starts "seeing" the new person. Voila, a new relationship!! What you say about it? It doesn't feel a rebound though...

[@TheLoveChat]

We call this a "Monkey Branch" - where someone new is lined up to swing to. Perhaps this isn't somebody who should be considered at this time.

[@0164019310]

@@TheLoveChat Final question. How much of a success rate that a monkey branched relationship will work out? I know for a fact that rebounds don't last long after watching you and Kenneth's videos but what about this one? Thanks for the amazing videos btw. It sucks to have a monkey branched relationship work out and it gets rubbed all over the dumpee's face.

[@granitmeri]

@@0164019310 what Rory is saying, is that you should consider if this person is the right person for you. You know, think to yourself, she chose someone else over you. Doesn't it hurt your pride as a man? You should say, okay, she chose someone else over me, I will find someone even better that wouldn't leave me for only to see that the grass isn't greener on the other side. Pick yourself together and go find someone better. But remember to mourn if this has been a long relationship. For the scars to heal, you have to feel it.

[@0164019310]

@@granitmeri It was a 3 years relationship. Things were great initially until her parents decided to stick their foot into the situation. I know I know I am moving on (slowly). I WAS doing fine with getting into shape and doing a better job at work until last week when she decided to just wish me happy birthday through text and damn, all the nostalgia comes flooding back in and here I am, seeking for answers again...

[@0164019310]

@@t12300 Man, thank you for sharing your story. Reading through it, I found quite a few similarities here and there. FYI, it was a 3 years relationship and she dumped my ass in October 2019 so it's been around 5 to 6 months. Initially I took it like SUPER DUPER needy and acted like a kid. Begged and whatsoever, it was brutal. After discovering Rory's videos, I started no contact immediately. Had some bumps in the beginning but slowly moved on and worked on myself. What triggered my need for answers was, she TEXTED me happy birthday wishing me and my parents well when I didn't. Her birthday was a week earlier than mine so I was kinda confused why she would text me even though I didn't wished her one and haven't been talking to her for 5 months. Like, she broke up with me. Insisted she was moving on with someone else. Fine... But why still wanna keep an ex hooked on? You get me? Now I feel like day 1 all over again