3 ways the narcissistic parent interrupts the scapegoat child’s growth

[@le_th_]

Narcissistic parents do this will ALL their children, but the scapegoat just has it the worst.

[@joinahmukanangana2993]

Thats what I went through .it was all of us but most on me

[@AP-uk1op]

Mine was exactly the same. I'm sorry we went through this. Healing has been a godsend ❤

[@hawaiigirl8089]

Not all the golden child is different

[@chellotrevino7323]

@@hawaiigirl8089no the golden child gets abused as well they only get the least cuz the narcissist can somehow only get narcissistic supply from the golden child the narcissist sees something in the golden child to take advantage of the narcissistic parents project their unfulfilled ambitions to the gold child if the golden child somehow can’t live up to that guess what they get abused as well especially if they can’t conform

[@chellotrevino7323]

@@hawaiigirl8089also the golden child is coerced into thinking that love is conditional when it’s all emotional blackmail their using to take advantage of the golden child to try and make the child succeed in their ambitions narcissist see people as an extension to themselves that’s how selfish they are they see their children like little supply gummies 😢

[@h.j.chapin9595]

Yep. Devastatingly evil.😪💔

[@gracielaraigosa6922]

Yep that was my mother-in-law so evil she destroyed my husband and he came a cover narcissist at the end I am the victim of a complete dysfunctional family that believe they were perfect

[@jennalane2596]

Your explanations help survivors articulate their experience. Thank you so much for all your videos!

[@marionwilliams910]

It certainly helped me, bc he called it the way it was. I didn't cut the apron strings until my sixties SMH.😢

[@AP-uk1op]

​@@marionwilliams910at least you cut them, my dear. I was 41 and feel the same way. So much time, energy, and emotions wasted on them. Healing has been a godsend. ❤

[@ibabechanel]

Jay, pls talk about narcissistic siblings aka flying monkeys.

[@sharlenekhatib2110]

I am so thankful that the Narcissitic parent is being called out in this cruel silence behavior that they place on there own child. And it seems to never end. It’s very sad of this continue abuse. This is very unhealthy for the child. Which the narcissist doesn’t even care about. It should be a crime to this mental and emotional abuse in the Narcissitic family dynamic.

[@izawaniek2568]

This is exactly the case. It is crime against humanity what narcisistic parents do to their scape goated children.

[@imalwaysme4332]

👏👏👏👏👏

[@CaliDreaming98]

💯 description of my narcarcistic mother. She's deceased now, but her fangs dug deep into the family and the damage remains to this day. May God grant us all health, healing and peace. Thank you.🙏🏻

[@timr8657]

Imagine how it goes when it's not just the parents, but the whole extended family as well...

[@ibabechanel]

THIS.

[@resurrectingand]

My situation lol

[@musicjunkie2k]

Mine also.

[@No1Snowy71]

The sad painful truth..... 🐐💪❤

[@reenieager4243]

So well described and explained. He has real insight into this situation.

[@EJ-mb6du]

You just described my childhood. Parents died. My siblings (all in 60's) STILL choose to continue the same nasty behavior. They are trying to love bomb me now ... trying to entice me to return so they can suck the life out of me...again and again... I choose to stay FAR away. They do not change. In fact, they get worse.

[@NYCBIGAPPLE]

My dad is trying to do the same to me this year (I have been "no contact" for 9 mos. Last year, it was 6 mos). I didn't want to do this to an 80 yr old but why did familial isolation, triangulation & silent treatment happen to me since childhood? So thankful to have "awareness" now.

[@keithstewart7514]

This is one hundred percent my 85 yo healthy mother's intent.

[@ibabechanel]

Don’t know why they live so phocking long.

[@reneemorgan3144]

All are true!!!

[@earthlycolorbrown6246]

This is every foster /adopted child Narrative.

[@Tov-h3v]

I have heard that many abusive women adopts children,to have someone to abuse.Joan Crawford is a well known,they didn't believe her daughter Christina when she wrote Mommy Dearest,and claimed that she was lying. Joan Crawford was an alcoholic back then , Narcissists has many addictions and Joan Crawford had the dead eyes of a Narcissist.She also adopted a boy and twins,the boy got mental health issues,mommy issues I guess,he claimed that Joan Crawford was violent towards him as a child,a neigbour told that he was upset about how terrible Joan treated her children,the twins have told that they never saw any abuse,they could probably have become the Golden children,Joan may had stopped drinking and could have been sober when they where children. JazzyT.

[@Ivebeenhavindreams]

When I was kicked out as a young adult, my mother then reached out to my boyfriend (who got an apartment with me in the aftermath) and tried to convince him I was mentally ill. She told him to watch out for me, that I was dangerous, and I would turn on him eventually. We’ve been together 20 years, married for 10. Thank god he knew better than to listen to her insanity and loved me for who I am.

[@colleenbrown3366]

Doctor, you present a new perspective for me and I wish to thank you as it has been very helpful towards getting past my past.

[@hawaiigirl8089]

You nailed it regarding my mom

[@GJ-vj4lj]

Boy, do I ever see this not in my family, but another family I’m very close to. It’s so sad.😢

[@annaburns2865]

It’s amazing how resilient children are. I didn’t realize that I was the scapegoat until well into adulthood. I’m still finding out just how toxic my parents really were. I just assumed that every child had to self-soothe. Who knew that was a trauma response even way back when. These videos still continue to be eye opening. Thank you for the information. I still have healing to do. It actually gives me hope and motivation when I thought that I had none left.

[@marianaconstantin9035]

Lord, have mercy! Take care of those children with narc parents... and convince the narc about sin.

[@imalwaysme4332]

No one can convince a NPD person anything!

[@derekwhite2929]

Brings back memories

[@NYCBIGAPPLE]

I could not describe this situation as a child (& who would believe me?). I went thru 20+ yrs feeling "numb", silenced, confused & crazy. Thank you for validating my feelings & knowing there IS community of others this happened to (& I am not alone).

[@marysullivan3881]

Yup and they were proud of it.

[@Mimi2015_]

My Mom made sure that I didn’t have a good relationship with my Dad. I was doomed from the 1st second of birth 😢 My Mother told me that my Dad was really pissed off because I was a girl 😮 I had a very abusive childhood. I realized at 57 that my parents are narcissists and my 3 ten year relationships were with narcissists. My Dad has passed, I no longer speak to my mother or brother and I kicked my narc bf out. I’m slowly getting better

[@Tov-h3v]

Ppl who grew up with a Narcissistic mother, walks straight into the arms of a Narcissist, several times, that's the energy they knows... Narcissists are known for triangulating others,that's what she did to you and your father.Narcissist are always envious and jelous on others,and your mom couldn't bare that you and your dad had a good relationship. JazzyT, Scapegoat.

[@Authenticallyathena]

My mother made sure to destroy the relationship I would have had with my biological father. It's only recently I started spending time with him again and the stories he has told me has cleared up a lot of holes in her stories. I think she realized early on he and I were just alike. She couldn't control him and I think she saw early I was just like him, which meant down the line she wouldn't be able to control me either. The problem is kids grow up and despite her best efforts I still turned out like my father. Ergo, she hated me. No contact has been amazing.

[@Authenticallyathena]

My mother told me I was lower than my brother in the family because I got divorced and had to come back home for a time with my children. The crazy thing is she had to do the same thing with my father but I'm sure she didn't see herself that way.

[@Tov-h3v]

A part of the Narcisstic personality disorder,is that they sees there's always others there's something wrong with... JazzyT.

[@colleen3940]

Keep her away from your children

[@deathuponusalll]

Truly evil parents, can’t believe my father was/is one and I had to endure that all my childhood smdh

[@chris9527]

Same here are you ever confused about why they are so evil?

[@Tov-h3v]

They are destroyed by their own Narcisstic mother! The Covert Narcissist are so fragile, that they can be triggered,only by standing beside a confident person. JazzyT.

[@LLBBaptiste]

You just describe my life.

[@Tov-h3v]

Bcs I grew up as a Scapegoat child with two Narcisstic parents,my life was so heavy to carry that I have a memory loss.I think my violent father can be a Malignant Narcissist,he never hit my 2 years younger sister who was the Golden child,only me as the Scapegoat,I think I lived in fear and had to dissociate to survive,I still do that and have no sense of time,and needs clock's everywhere,to know what time it is.My Narcissistic mother have told that I have always been so greatfull and that I always has looked forward with such a huge joy for things to come. I remember her as someone who always said,just wait and see,now, if I was overly joyed by something,it's like she wanted to stop my joy,she was like that when I became a mom,too! She has always tried to stop me and has been a no sayer,so I has been bread crumbed my whole life.I'm the Clairvoyant and the artistic one,and have had studies in the artistic era,as drawing, painting and graphic design,where a teatcher recommended me to study art afterwards,but non in my Narcissistic family have ever asked to see my work... There are so many memories that are supressed,but awhile ago I remembered I was a Scout as a 11 or 12 years old and was going to a Scout Camp in another part of the country,so I was probably super happy to travel,the day before,my mother desided to cut my hair in the front,the bang became short and queer and it looked so ugly that I was crying afterwards,she probably tried to stop her Scapegoat's joy. Narcissists are inhumane creatures. JazzyT.

[@Authenticallyathena]

I was just discussing the memory loss with someone yesterday. The more I work on my healing the more things I'm beginning to remember, not saying I'm enjoying remembering but I know it's part of the process. I remember things then get angry and sad all over again. It's rough but necessary I know.

[@TheLordsbattleaxe]

Thanks again Jay.

[@georgia1937]

This is mother trying to break the bond between me and my sisters.

[@broda1582]

True

[@user-uh5tb9er4o]

Thank you

[@geekcollage]

Ouch. Yeah.

[@sh6460]

exactly.

[@ProfessorMTeaches]

❤👍💯

[@AzizaMiller]

I guess this type of parent will create a narc child

[@julianal.573]

💐

[@patriciacole8773]

Yep. Food. Clothing. Shelter. Done.

[@Tov-h3v]

Nothing more than that for the Scapegoat, but the Golden child... JazzyT.

[@patriciacole8773]

@@Tov-h3v True. Smiles. Approval. Respect. Even protection.

[@Ross_Embossed]

#SimpsonsYellowJay 😂😂😂 #Velour 👌👌👌

[@Chahlie]

Yup.

[@liviapopsor8242]

Like, if you don't do as I tell you too, I won't play with you?!

[@Tov-h3v]

That's a really good picture, Narcissists are children in adult bodies,they acts out every feeling that comes up in them,like a child... JazzyT.

[@Tov-h3v]

That's a really good picture, Narcissists are children in adult bodies, they acts out every feeling that comes up in them,just like a child. JazzyT.

[@rnr2304]

I always thought this was my mother. With theraoy, Ive kearned it actually is/was my mostly absent father who forced my mother to do things, which of course allows him to be the good guy and ger the bad guy. But he is/was the narcissist. Regardless, all clamoured for attention. I just tried to fade into the background.

[@Mandooze]

This scares me because my valued relationships, ended in death but my narc parents are still alive. They cannot affect those connections anymore thank God, but still I watched this happen in my life a lot.

[@JaffaCakes-c7d]

My family did this to me. Completely ruined any kind of happiness nor growth. They're still like this now, sabotage any plan that I make.

[@ZLLi661]

Move far away and limit contact. My father tried many times at every interaction from as far back as I can remember to do this to me. I found a way out at 21 with one job then another that took me 2000kms away. I was away from my dear mum and my bestie but they knew why and supported me. My bestie was in the same boat and took a bit longer to move far away and she thrived when she did. I have too in a different way. It’s difficult at first but nowhere near as difficult as being slowly smothered or lose your soul by death by a thousand cuts. I found real family when I left. I discovered what it’s like to not live in fear and dehumanizing. To actually be given opportunities to succeed instead of always denied them growing up. Facing the unknown is far less fearful than being around the constant denigrating and demoralizing of narc.

[@mimi42428]

My ex husband's family to a t. They keep him infantalised and thinking that je needs them while they destroy everything good in his life that he should value but he chooses not to because he is so desperate to be accepted and valued by people who have never and will never love him. Sad

[@traxikscifi8105]

Forgot physical abuse, like my mother did to my sister...

[@noworneversoulbeach]

Imma make it out regardless 😂

[@Ultra_Ultraline_27]

Yup

[@yehiaismail2451]

💯

[@booginas]

👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

[@gloriavis]

Having my sisters phone i get all her shit

[@yehiaismail2451]

My son is the escape goat and he literally stoped physically growing along with my nice ANd nephew the ex is an elite morrocan narcissit and my twin system is a covert narc. This should be the object of reaserch to be added in the DSM

[@TheGuniverse2k]

🎯🎯🎯

[@dynahmaranatha2954]

My ex-husband picked and devalued especially our oldest boy and our daughter was manipulated but she was manipulated also to be the one that he could stick his chest out and take on what he preferred her to perform... Our youngest and our last son was treated more dismissively and constantly was being blamed for everything and enjoyed making him feel devalued and angry. Our youngest son is no longer with us. I can't EVEN share about my grief to my ex because it is an offense because to be honest he doesn't think about it.. therefore he gets insulted when I talked about how it overcomes me. He says I'm telling him that I had a better relationship with my son than he did. Well I am the mother and I did deliver him out of my own body. Number one that makes that different and number two I wasn't saying that but that is the truth. Do you see what they do. ⁉️ My oldest son is treated like a plague and he always was the little sweet soldier that did everything he was supposed to do and he was so tender-hearted and the most well-behaved boy you ever knew but after being deprived of attention and rejected and devalues over and over and over finally returned to drugs. All three have had issues with addiction 😞

[@sunnybein1]

I hope to god your not still with hi.m..you should have taken your children away and out from that to protect them.

[@yl5020]

Evil

[@MSB780]

🥲

[@jenniferbloh-michael8662]

I am the recent ex wife of 20 years +, the family did this to me . I better make it out better than I was before or God's gonna be pissed. You do not want to piss off God . Ask anybody.

[@Tov-h3v]

I stick to repent,lol! JazzyT.

[@kitkat-p3t]

Just get lost, that what I did. They hate me for that. OH well.

[@indigobunting2431]

Nar-ciss-is-tic. Say it better.