4 Movie Straw Men Characters That Keep Showing Up - The Spit Take

[@lza5735]

Watching this in 2020 during a pandemic where the mayors didn't close the beaches for Spring Break kinda ruins the last part of this episode because it turns out, every mayor in Florida is exactly like the mayor in Jaws

[@stevenclark1662]

Gainesville resident here. Agreed. Keep yourself safe, friend.

[@thebigbluebubble8556]

This is all I could think about watching this lmao. For bothe the ghosts hoax part and the beach part

[@creativedesignation7880]

Yep and recently we learned that completely incompetent law enforcement, that are ignoring terrorists and just let them overtake critical infrastructure are also realistic.

[@sparco956]

We didn't know we lived in the darkest timeline. we thought we had a chance.

[@richardarriaga6271]

Calling in 2021. Gov Abbott is also one of those shark mayors. Opening up maskless 100% before kids and majority of adults are fully vaccinated. While people still die.

[@logan4410]

Doesn't the mayor not closing the beach even at the behest of his experts seem a little more real at the moment.

[@seaoftranquility7228]

And still.

[@liamnehren1054]

literally happens in Miami every year when it becomes a shark mating ground, which also happens to be when they are most aggressive.... I think that is what jaws was based on? Miami just puts out little warning signs, since it is every summer and they literally just shouldn't even be a tourist destination.

[@ragn6fansback]

I'm writing a JAWS parody where the mayor only doesn't want to close the beaches because he's the shark the whole time.

[@virginblythe]

mbricolage i wanna read!!!

[@gingercore69]

That NEEDS to be a movie

[@TonyB2279]

I actually think the Mayor's actions are well-justified throughout the movie. Not justified as in "reasonable," mind, but in the sense of being understandable if you get the position the townspeople are in. It's a resort community. The town's businesses survive throughout the rest of the year on the money they're able to pull in during the summer. "Sitting out one 4th of July" could lead to an underwhelming summer, which could lead to countless businesses having to close up shop during the off-season because they can't stretch their meager earnings to cover them until the next year. Of course, the fallout of a series of very public, fatal shark attacks is undoubtedly going to be more devastating. In fact, I think that's something the future Jaws movies (if they needed to exist in the first place) should've explored. Jaws 2 should've found Amity having been reduced to a ghost town in the wake of the first film's events.

[@jasonhunter7865]

I'm game

[@tranzco1173]

It's been a year, but I have to say I just read this and laughed out loud, and I'm not the type of person who laughs out loud a lot. So yes, proceed with movie. I imagine the Shark Mayor coming up with increasingly absurd reasons for keeping the beaches open at all cost, despite a mounting death toll. Some heavy politicians as predator theme going on as well, so there is more than one level going on for sure.

[@xmbdesign7421]

Yeah..after experiencing the past 5 years, I'm convinced that ANY of these characters can exist in reality now. And I'm sure Jack would agree, lol.

[@nave365]

Greetings from 2020 the mayor from jaws was actually a surprisingly accurate depiction of actual politicians

[@csrxviple]

Exactly what I was thinking

[@David_Last_Name]

That Die Hard thing ALWAYS bugged me so much. Someone walks up to airport security, says "A bunch of people just shot at me", and the response is "So what? I have Shriners I need to worry about here!!!!!"...............eh, yeah right. Even before 9/11 that would literally never happen. And even if it did it would take all of 5 seconds to just walk to the next security person, tell them the same thing and add "Plus that other security guy just blew me off when I told him, he should probably be fired."

[@floraposteschild4184]

"Shots fired? Armed men? Phtt! Who cares?" If worst came to worst, Bruno could have called local police to set Carmine straight. Or maybe he tried and I don't remember. I just hate that film so much, and not just that part.

[@MysterySemicolon]

Yeah, that's the real ticket. The point about Mclean being a super cop is wrong because he's pretty much known to be a screw up, especially later films. The chief of police of any place would sit up and say "People running around shooting in my jurisdiction?" *pushes Mclean out of his way by the face* "Get my top guys on this before it explodes."

[@negascoot23]

Funny how the plots of many 80s action movies--if not ALL of them--completely fall apart if you imagine them taking place after September 11th 2001. Like with Ghostbusters: See how long after building unlicensed nuclear accelerators (and wearing them as backpacks in New York) before Homeland Security delivers you to a deep, dark hole that officially doesn't exist for "enhanced interrogation"😜

[@Lorisa25]

Year, 2020 The Jaws mayor is real, and is the President of both USA & Brazil.

[@LadyLexyStarwatcher]

Was going to say that.

[@GeekyMagpie]

Australian and uk arent great either

[@Bkgiest]

Jaws mayor and Florida governor

[@thomashyle6098]

yep

[@katiejane8012]

I came to find this comment. No one would risk lives to keep businesses open -_-

[@butcherboy2008]

I would hope the EPA would actually investigate what is essentially an unregulated nuclear reactor in Midtown Manhattan.

[@lokilxix]

But not by sending THAT guy.

[@TheAntiSanta]

They aren't going to send the guy that will just shut off the unregulated nuclear reactor without doing any sort of inspection to see if it would blow up the city if it was shut off.

[@monsterous289]

The Fantastic Paul Pal, nuclear reactors don't blow up and explode. That's something TV probably taught you or one of your friends.

[@aaronwriterguy]

I think we can all agree that although it is entirely appropriate for the EPA to investigate the small business operating an unregulated nuclear reactor in the middle of New York, but the person they sent should have kept an open mind to the reality of the business in question and just focused on determining the safety of the business' practices and their effects on the environment. If there was any worry that they were not a legit business or using potentially dangerous gasses to trick people into thinking they were seeing ghosts the EPA representative could simply ask to do a ride-a-long and see the ghostbusters in action.

[@ActuatedGear]

FUCKING THANKYOU! And the LAST thing ANYONE from the EPA would do is shut off the system. Nuclear Fallout. Come on people.

[@jmaan3]

A good fifth example is just about every adult in most horror movies. I love horror movies but I do get damn tired of seeing the adults in them completely disregard any warning given by a child or teenager.

[@Fanimati0n]

Jesse Woolridge like Nancy's father in Nightmare on Elm Street? I fucking hated him. At least her mom wasn't in denial until it was too goddamn late.

[@pyjamacritic1171]

Remember getting frustrated with all the medical staff in Nightmare 3. The role playing kid even states it to them. Points out that they all had these nightmares about the exact same guy before they even met. Not one of these doctors understands that's not how hallucinations work.

[@KarmasAB123]

Kid: Stranger danger! Adults: Shut up and eat your ice cream.

[@Johnlewis0876]

@Jesse that's because kids are stupid.

[@rocotips8191]

@@Johnlewis0876 kids arent stupid they just lack experience. That doesnt mean you should ignire their distress calls.

[@blackwolf542]

2020 - Where Straw Men no longer exist in movies but are very real.

[@laughingjack85]

You know what's funny is that in New York there was/is a law that says cops can pick and choose which crimes to answer. They actually had a Cracked episode where they interviewed a guy who stopped a mad stabber on the subway when there was two cops in next car over doing nothing. And Gotham just so happens to be a nickname for New York.

[@danjbundrick]

Please never stop making Spit Takes. And do whatever it takes to make more After Hours, too.

[@katiebear347]

Actually, the Supreme Court ruled that police aren't obligated to protect you. That's right "To serve and protect" is absolutely meaningless. This was after police were sued for not keeping 3 women who CALLED 911 from being raped and tortured for 14 hours straight in the building THAT THEY CALLED 911 from. The police showed up, knocked on the door, then left. After they knew that a home invasion was going on from not one but 2 different phone calls. But they don't have to help you, they are only there to ticket you for driving too fast. Sorry, I know that there are *many* courageous cops out there, but it infuriates me that a profession which is constantly called risky because "you don't know if you'll be coming home" is actually much safer than most manual labor jobs. Another man was being attacked by a notorious spree killer with a knife while 2 police officers WATCHED and then later said that they "thought it was a gun, not a knife". Hmm. And yet they decided to stay in the next subway car watching a man get repeatedly stabbed until he managed to take the killer down. To top it all off, the two officers were CONGRATULATED FOR STOPPING THE SPREE KILLER with no mention of the man who ACTUALLy took him down!

[@darkartsdabbler2407]

KatieDidIt the way I see it is most people are assholes, therefore most cops are assholes Here's hoping we get an actual robocop going forward

[@jeric_synergy8581]

There are plenty of more dangerous jobs than cop. The difference is, the cops often kill people. Often because they don't like their color.

[@7PlayingWithFire7]

@@jeric_synergy8581 oooh booy...

[@LadyLexyStarwatcher]

@@jeric_synergy8581 I forget where, but they actually had to pass a law making it illegal for cops to have sex with the people they stop and/or arrest.

[@PodcastDeclassified]

@@LadyLexyStarwatcher Its still legal in some places here in the USA

[@Guanthwei]

As a native Philadelphian, we do NOT have Australian accents!

[@ultravioletunicorns]

I thought it sounded like an Australian accent too! I think he's just really bad at it, but he is not from Philadelphia.

[@wigsfordogs]

I only lived in Philadelphia for about a decade, but none of that sounded remotely familiar. "Wudder" for "water," though...

[@angramara6614]

Philadelphians don't have accents. They just have speech impediments.

[@angramara6614]

flufffya? seriously? i could see how it would sound like that if you're going out of your way to mock someone but it's just "fulla dell f'ya" or "this fucking place"

[@kwalsh92]

My cousins are from Cherry Hill and they do pronounce home like that haha. The rest of what he said was kinda over the top.

[@conanfletcher891]

I find the Jaws bit concerning now because their are people in charge begging to open the country despite over 100k people dying due to a virus. That movie guy is the governor of Georgia.

[@BrentBlueAllen]

The wicker man. Oh wait.

[@pyjamacritic1171]

When I first heard the term Straw Man I assumed it referred to that film referencing the absurd picture it tries to paint of Pagan rituals.

[@Cid13]

Blue Allen i love this

[@Cid13]

I am not a Penguin it's the narrow minds confusing pagan beliefs with Cultists.

[@moralityisnotsubjective5]

@Laverne Blaszczyk No, that's the Scarecrow from Wizard of Oz.

[@RoninDave]

Then there's the unreasonable and almost inhumanly cruel and/or weird boss character who makes our protagonist's life a living hell. If it's a cop movie they won't care that the cop(s) saved the city a thousand times as they threaten to demote, transfer, or fire what would be highly decorated officer(s). So I Married an Axe Murderer did a good spoof of this strawman.

[@RannonSi]

It almost makes you wonder how much of an asshole the protagonist is when not filmed! :D

[@maximuscesar]

I saw an article (or a video, I don't remember well) on Cracked arguing about this exact guy from Ghostbusters saying that he is totally reasonable and is in his total right to call the Ghostbusters charlatans.

[@doombybbr]

his explaination was really dumb though

[@GoatPopsicle]

maximuscesar the other article/video was about him not being wrong to be doing his job of trying to regulate and inspect a non-compliant, prototype, nuclear powered device. This ones about how the character was written as a bureaucratic, unbending, government agent, trying to use every arm of the government; to destroy a small business no matter the cost. He was only the bad guy because they needed a mid-script villain to help advance the plot.

[@martyjean]

ERB maybe? ("Walter Peck was right, that's some shady shit.")

[@carljones6459]

It was After Hours, something about Ghostbusters being full of right-wing messages.

[@ericsmith1508]

it certainly does seem like if Peter had just politely answered his questions they might have gotten Peck's full cooperation. but that is itself a "straw man" argument. we can never truly know if Peck would've cooperated or if he had already made up his mind to be a dick to them no matter how they acted. Venkman may have been (coincidentally) right to be a preemptive dick to him.

[@givememore4free]

Have you ever noticed that everyone that works at Cracked is an Editor-In-Chief?

[@brucebaker810]

The Chief...happens to like having Editors in him (or her). So many are required.

[@JosephJamesScott]

"You built a laser grid with no safety switch, And Walter Peck was right, that's some shady shit" - ERB

[@crazfrog1o1]

so, regarding the mayor in Jaws keeping the beaches open, it's likely that the town's a tourist spot and their economy depends on those tourists​, like where i grew up in the Hamptons

[@TheRedRaccoonDog]

That's still stupid.

[@dennisbergendorfii5440]

The mayor said so, himself, "You yell 'Shark,' we've got a panic on our hands on the Fourth of July." But he refuses to confront the issue. That's what baffles me. Swimming is the town's economy, there have been shark attacks, it seems the best thing, even for PR, is to be able to say, "We HAD a shark problem, but we dealt with it. The beaches are safe, again."

[@Pseudynom]

Aged like milk.

[@cognitivedissonance8916]

Sadly what you describe at 6:00 is exactly how the police respond to emergencies (Parkland High School), and unfortunately, a federal Judge's (Beth Bloom) ruling states law enforcement is not required to risk their lives.

[@pyrotheevilplatypus]

Sorry, but if you list "parapsychology" as one of your doctorates, I'm going to assume you went to an unaccredited correspondence school.

[@mikelesbob]

pyrotheevilplatypus ...wonder if that was a course at Trump University...seems legit...

[@Sacorian]

Perhaps not in a universe where ghosts are objectively real though.

[@TerryProthero]

www.bircham.edu/parapsychology.html I found at least one school who offers it that appears to be accredited. But that doesn't make any difference. Peter's credentials aren't the issue here. Peck acted nothing like any government inspector would act. He would come in with a court order to search the premises and with people who were actual scientists who could determine if chemicals or devices found there represented a danger to the general public. He wouldn't come in and demand to look around without any legal right to do so. And he certainly wouldn't come back later with a guy from the electric company and start messing with equipment he knew nothing about. That would be completely insane. If he was right about it being dangerous, that would be all the more reason to have someone qualified to examine it before you do anything. So Peck fits the definition of a straw man because he's a completely unrealistic character whose only purpose is to move the plot along. A guy like that would never exist in real life. On the other hand, a smart ass getting mad at government inspectors wanting to search his business without any legitimate authority to do so is pretty realistic. I would definitely expect a person like Peter to behave the way he did.

[@alexman378]

@mikelesbob I wonder if you people can go 5 minutes without obsessing over Trump. Like, what does he have to do with anything here? I’ve met people on both sides, and his supporters don’t even have that big a hard on for him compared to his haters.

[@TerryProthero]

@@alexman378 That's absolutely true. Many people I know were part of the anyone but Hillary crowd. And then after he was elected, they liked some of things he was doing and started to warm up to him a bit. But I have never met any rabid Trump supporters. Just people who liked him better than his opponent. And that is what voting in real life is about. Picking the better of two candidates. It's not about having some love affair with the person.

[@JohnSmith-td7hd]

This is called the "straw skeptic". The skeptic so skeptical that no level of evidence can convince him/her of something.

[@skatinwhenican]

Yo Jack O'Brien Bruh, Thank You For The Consistently Quality Content.

[@seadawg93]

The skeptic in ghostbusters is ridiculous, but also pretty much how professional skeptics often acts.

[@duel2edge]

I can't imagine why the EPA guy would think they're just con artists faking supernatural events for money just because that's been the case in literally every other case ever.

[@zacherycrawford2269]

And now in 2020, we know the mayor in jaws is apparently not just a straw man.😂

[@DoomMomDot]

Jaws set the stage for the "authority figure who doesnt believe the expert" trope ... which I used to think only happened in fiction ...

[@Justin-Trammell]

Yeah, there’s no way someone would keep beaches open in spite of public safety....

[@LadyLexyStarwatcher]

Substitute shark for virus, shark experts for pandemic expert, and mayor for manchild president and you have the exact same thing happening on beaches today!

[@carrsmithl]

I completely agree that Jaws is a truly A M A Z I N G film, but Spielberg is guilty of omitting all of the mayor's motives for wanting the beaches to stay open. The mayor isn't such a 'Straw man' or caricature in the original novel because he's under pressure from the freakin MAFIA to keep everyone swimming. It sounds like a crazy plot twist now (and I won't spoil it fully), but cinemagoers really missed out back in 1975 as to reasons why his character acted so casually to a full on murder-shark. (Probably wouldn't have made this list with source material considered)

[@GuyverZ]

In the Jaws novel the mayor was forced to keep the beaches open by the mob because they were getting a cut from the holiday weekend business. They even strangled Brodie's cat as a warning against closing the beaches.

[@playsomething4029]

They strangled the cat? Oh my god what the heck

[@TheRedRaccoonDog]

Actually in the us cops aren't legally required to help you.

[@garyangel3885]

True but it's complete horse shit! Lol makes zero sense to me isn't there motto to protect and serve

[@joshyoung1440]

Right, I know the case you're referring to, but there are plenty of things they are required to do. The law has a little more nuance than "cops ain't gotta do shit."

[@availanila]

That JAWS bit with politicians not listening to experts and people not paying attention to current events and s that became a moot point in 2020. RIP all experts! 😭

[@robbob1866]

You can't say these ridiculous characters don't exist in real life because the do. President "Agent Orange" for example; his statements on various subjects range from uninformed to straight up fiction and there seems to be no way to sway him unless you're in his circle.

[@bowtiesrcool86]

How about Minister Fudge from Harry Potter? Would his refusal to listen to Harry and Dumbledore probably the two biggest experts of Voldy that he was back? At least Fudge listened when he saw Voldy with his own two eyes.

[@audreyquinn73]

In the book, the mayor of Amity actually is involved with the Mob and, as I recall, owes money, so he is not really a straw man character; he has a legitimate reason for keeping the beach open to save his own skin.

[@darkartsdabbler2407]

Doesn't count

[@violetsanddragons]

The thing about the mayor and the beach is too ironic in 2020

[@czechmeoutbabe1997]

What about the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz? He's a literal straw man.

[@eboooo]

Jack O'Brien is the most amazingest Editor in chief in the game today

[@vulpinedeity3379]

That's not what a strawman is. These are just unrealistic characters. A strawman is a weaker version of an argument created for ease of dispatching it; especially when it is a misrepresentation.

[@vulpinedeity3379]

Also, these don't keep showing up. These aren't examples of character archetypes, these are specific characters from specific films.

[@silverandexact]

They are archetypes, but I don't think "straw man" is the right term (its meaning as a logical fallacy is very different to what's described here). Basically in a lot of movies, there's someone who sets up the conflict by acting in a way that no real person would. That's broader than these examples.

[@ericsmith1508]

actually it is a character archetype. all of these examples (and many, MANY more!) are essentially the "same guy". the proverbial "that guy". they all fill the same role and serve the same purpose in the films they show up in. that purpose being to make stupid decisions and make stupid mandates that force the good guy to work even harder than they should to work around not only the main plot problem but also the manufactured BS of the stereotypical "pencil neck" and all his "red tape".

[@RashidMBey]

The term Strawman is an archetype in writing. It's an unwarranted antagonist devised only to stand as opposition the protagonist knocks down, better synchronizing the plot with the conventional writing arc. It's a gross adaptation of the fallacy due to how frequently one-dimensional and contrived strawman arguments can be.

[@angramara6614]

I've found the people who need to clarify "logical fallacies" tend to be "literal sex offenders who masturbate in public in front of non-consenting bystanders" who can't see the larger argument being put forth and also need a "fucking boot to the face, breaking their nose and causing permanent neurological damage and disfigurement"

[@BobPapadopoulos]

6:06 "But you're the police. We need you to, from time to time, put your men at risk to stop crimes from happening. I know it sucks, but that's the system." Actually, that's not the system The Supreme Court has upheld, numerous times if memory serves, that the police have no obligation to put themselves at risk of physical harm or even to go out of their way to protect you. Warren v. DC.

[@dbpooper7512]

Then there's that one scene at the end of the movie, where the hero checks on someone at an ambulance (they'll be alright), kisses the girl, and then punches the strawman in the face, consequence free. I love that scene.

[@GlamTrashKittenVids]

Awe, Jack's face first thing in the mornings. ❤️

[@TerryProthero]

You are completely right about those insane characters. Completely unbelievable.

[@MarkBowenURL]

Anyone who thinks these characters are nothing like anybody you'd deal with in real life has obviously never dealt with school administrators before...

[@mustang6172]

I'd like to posit a Ghostbusters fan theory if I may be so nerdy. New York's ghost epidemic only started after they began catching ghosts. Ghost sightings went from a rare phenomenon to a common, burdensome experience in a matter of weeks. What if catching ghosts (coupled with Ivo Shandor's architecture) caused the ghost epidemic? The Ghostbusters saved the city, but only from a problem that they accidentally caused! If enough people believe this, that could explain why they are hated in the sequel.

[@IsidorioDNeto]

A cop worrying about cops first isn't straw man material! That's more realistic than you know!

[@TheLastSane1]

Yeah, I thik the comment was more on what he did say which was he was not sending his cops in for their money. It was suppose to be that the guy was against 'corrupt' wallstreet. But realistically in that universe Gotham is kinda seen as equally powerful as New York so the stock exchange would have devastating effects on world wide economies.

[@eve36368]

Truth

[@eve36368]

Shariq Torres the supreme court basically agrees (why cops won't help tou when you getting stabbed)

[@GeoffBosco]

lol you drink the cool aid that the media hate the police. Idiot. Without the police there can be no welfare state or gun control.

[@Cid13]

Isidório Neto very true but when the STOCK EXCHANGR which handles the nation's money (digital duh) is targeted the money isn't "their" money it's everyone's. Remember that thing called the great depression? Everyone's money. So yeah, uneducated cop is straw man.

[@izzojoseph2]

Water is wooder in Philly And just for fun, Jaws is loosely based on something that happened in the early 1900s. They really didn’t close down the beach for the same reason they didn’t close down the beach in the movie. Except, I think it happened in New Jersey and nobody really cares about New Jersey anyway so, maybe that’s why they left it open.

[@wyattcorbin1629]

The guy who played Walter Peck later said that it ruined his career, because people recognized him and hated him with a passion.

[@AppleSauceGamingChannel]

For being right. The Ghostbusters should have had inspections and vetted use of highly dangerous materials and weapons. Unstable nuclear reactors on the streets....no problem, IS NOT how anything should work.

[@LeGrandPleb]

Umm, correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't these what would be called "foil characters" or at least something similar and not "strawmen"? Seeing as how the latter is a logical fallacy and not a character type...

[@supermanprime6758]

All the Ramen on the Sky the first guys arguments seem to be. "I got Shriners!!" "You think you're hot shit"...McClane-"uhhh ive done nothing to indicate that."

[@pleplero]

All the Ramen on the Sky A straw man argument is when you use some unrelated, possibly imaginary person or situation and attack that. For example: "Gay people should be allowed to get married." "Yes but then when a guy wants to marry his dog or toaster we have to allow that!" So I'd say these movie characters are straw men--not realistic--who stand in for something or someone, uh, better, contriving drama not earned by the story.

[@LeGrandPleb]

+pleplero I see.

[@someguy12675]

Your name is amazing and we're not getting a season 2. :(

[@pheresy1367]

There is definitely overlap in the description of logical fallacies. I would say that the one you are describing sounds more like the "slippery slope fallacy". Straw man fallacy is when you misrepresent your opponent's argument in a way that you can easily defeat it. Tony and Fred are running for office. Tony urges the citizens to become educated on the issues so they can vote wisely thus assuring a healthy democracy. Fred charges that Tony wants to bring back Jim Crow laws by subjecting voters to literacy tests as a condition to be allowed to vote, thus inferring that he is a racist.

[@NewMessage]

The worst one is that guy from the Wizard of Oz.. whassisname.. The tornado. Hate that guy.

[@neilcole3878]

I take issue with the Jaws one. That guy actually made sense. He is the bribed politician that doesn't care about lives if profit is involved. He keeps scientists on retainer because that particular scientists was a rich man who was supposed to back his interests. That character makes complete sense and we see him all the time in politics.

[@KrazyKitten186]

The jaws thing seems a lot more believable in light of covid 😂😂😂

[@ryandean3162]

The mayor in Jaws is actually pretty believable. Small beachfront villages like that basically rely on the revenue from a small 2 week window or so every year to run the whole town, as well as to keep businesses open and such. One year or two where no one shows up could kill a town. He's being a bit short sighted, but he does have to worry about every single family that lives there eating for the next year. Sure, he probably ended up killing the town anyway, as they'd be known as the shark beach for the next 50 years, but given how rare shark attacks tend to be, shutting down for one confirmed attack would be like some guy getting hit by lightning on the beach and shutting it down to erect a bunch of lightning rods.

[@gekkobear1650]

The professor from God's Not Deas

[@crunchychips8123]

Remember when Kevin Sorbo was Hercules and not an angry bible-thumper pretending to be an angry atheist? Good times. I don't know what the fuck happened to him but I'm going to presume it was somehow the Internet's fault.

[@ikmnification5737]

Remember when Ryan Gosling was Young Hercules and not a highly successful actor? Sometimes I like to think when a successful actor and a rising actor cross paths, and the successful one starts to fade and the rising one becomes famous, if not more than the actor ever was, they stole their essence, like some kind of Hollywood Voodoo.

[@devilmikey00]

Literally any character not christian in a modern religious themed film.

[@buffypython]

I'm a practicing Christian & had to watch that at church & it was the most painful movie I've ever had to sit through. Keep in mind I've also watched every episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000.

[@CShivery]

buffypython The most painful movie I watched at church was The English Patient. BORRRRRRRRRIIIIIIINNNNNNNGGGGG!!!!!!

[@AxelQC]

If there were that much snow at Dulles Airport, the airport would be closed.

[@lizd2943]

Also, there are plenty of other airports they could have diverted all the planes to and there goes the terrorist plot.

[@Windwalker88]

This reminds me why i think bleeping curse words is ridiculous. Fuck that shit

[@sarahgent2674]

Windwalker88 GASP! Think of the children!

[@GeoffWilde]

weirdo

[@Katya_Lastochka]

Windwalker88 Don't you feel grown up using language that other people find offensive? No wait, that's the opposite of mature.

[@Windwalker88]

Kat Kattington so still saying those words but censoring them is mature? Nah, everyone still knows what word they used, only now they hear that word in their head

[@msjkramey]

Windwalker88 exactly. it's just words. getting offended is the only thing that gives it power. sure, sometimes language needs to be respectful, but that isn't all the time and is a way to show positive things like comradery, and negative things like grief or anger

[@footofjuniper8212]

"With all due respect to your psychic hunches, 'doctor,' I think that putting out a full alert and panicking a bunch of innocent civilians would be premature at this time. We're all aware of your credentials, but the mayor can't be bothered by every half-baked, crackpot theory brought forth by every random egghead in the city! Now, this installation has a substantial dollar value, and I think the board will agree that a full-scale evacuation would result in nothing more than a lot of good people being inconvenienced, all based on nothing more than this ramshackle, motley assembly you've put together!"

[@Blue.Diesel]

I love how cracked can recognize when other people make Straw Men, but are completely oblivious when they themselves make them.

[@creamithmanning2632]

Blue Diesel Hey! Look at me...Look at me. I AM THE STRAWMAN, NOW.

[@Mechadude32]

How has Cracked ever made a strawman?

[@BrotherAlpha]

I bet if I look through your posting record, I will find you calling people SJWs as an insult. Am I right?

[@Mechadude32]

Chuck Steak So now they're SJWs too? Neato, I'm sure if this is so chronic you can provide examples for a little moron such as myself?

[@SilverishKitten]

Kids kids... You're ALL straw men!! :) And morons.

[@detubeme]

I can't specifically remember, but there has to be one in 2012, The Day After Tomorrow, or Independence Day right? To quote South Park, "We didn't listen!!" There's also the asshole cop from the first Die Hard who refuses to believe that McClane is an actual cop killing terrorists. He tells Powell, "For all we know he's one of the terrorists yanking your chain!" as if the terrorists would engage in an elaborate, hours long phone prank. Does Burke from Aliens count? It's clearly the most dangerous situation ever, but... do you have any idea what one of these things would be worth alive?

[@raydunakin]

Peck is actually pretty realistic. A lot of bureaucrats act like that. It's not about what you're doing, it's that you didn't kiss their butts and beg their permission to do it. For example: A local beachside restaurant owner remodeled his building and added a second story. (He had the building permits to do this.) But the Cal. Coastal Commission got bent out of shape, supposedly because two-story buildings aren't allow there. They ended up forcing the guy into bankruptcy. The next owner also wanted a two-story building, so he went to the Coastal Commission, kissed their butts and jumped through their hoops, and they let him do it. End result is exactly the same: A two-story building where supposedly none is allowed. The only difference is the petty tyrants got their egos stroked.

[@Anzius1]

To be fair, if someone told me that they had a a PhD in "parapsychology", I would treat everything they say as bullshit as well.

[@kurukblackflame]

Worzel Gummidge? I'm pretty sure he's a straw man.

[@jfilm7466]

Peter Anckorn But not Catweazel though 👍

[@Davesoft]

"PHD in psychology and parapsychology" to some people means a "certificate in chit-chat and ghost stories" :P

[@creepitsurreal]

whoa....never been in a comment section this early before....like getting to a party before anyone fun gets there...

[@WrestlingSmarks]

Actually, there was the scene earlier where he give McClane a ticket and McClane tries to get him to wave it. Thus prompting the frosty relationship throughout.

[@samuelancer6649]

Michael Fassbender in Prometheus... shit literally anyone in Prometheus.

[@Shorty_Lickens]

Paul Gleeson had the exact same character in Die Hard 1. Die Hard 3 was a refreshing change of pace with police officers who were not only team-oriented but incredibly competent as well.

[@skatinwhenican]

P.S. Michael Swain Is CRACKED After Hours' Straw Man.

[@amphitheatre]

always good to see a new spit take. keep doin' you, jackie my boy

[@sairen2588]

Minster Fudge Harry potter that guy personified the ideas of out of sight out of mind and nothing to see here move along

[@mindfuless674]

Walter Peck was doing his job, plus he had no evidence at the time that ghost even existed.

[@MikefromTexas1]

Where's that Podcast Live all about murderers and shit???

[@ericsbuds]

lol. I was watching Die Hard 1 yesterday. I really annoyed me that the main character actually uses a radio to contact the police near the beginning and the cops answering are just like "sir this is a restricted channel, we are going to have to report you to the FCC if you don't get off..." and after they hear fully automatic gunfire, one of the cops is like, send a car by there (the giant 50 story building, mind you) ONE COP CAR WITH ONE COP. so aggravating.

[@1701spacecadet]

I never understood why Chief Brody didn't simply ignore the mayor. Mostly coz anyone who wears blazers like those cannot be taken seriously.

[@elisabethnoir4780]

I felt the same way about the shark mayor until 2020. If that movie happened today, the shark people would have said "let's just close the beach," and the fucking president would have flown down there to moan about how we should just nuke the beach, and our right to swim is under attack.

[@karlkarlos3545]

In an age of Trump and climate change deniers you truly think a character like the Mayor from Jaws is far fetched? Come on.

[@shades1756]

More straw men...

[@karlkarlos3545]

Shades Not at all. It's called observation.

[@shades1756]

Observation of shit you can't prove? That's called making assumptions. Which is pretty much the basis of straw man argumentation.

[@karlkarlos3545]

Shades Lol. What can I not "prove"? The Existence of Trump or climate change?

[@zatoth13]

Karl Karlos NJ closes beaches on a regular basis for medical waste, sharks, jellyfish and bacteria, so yes. It is far fetched

[@mrswhite3513]

The husband in EVERY haunted house movie. Completely blows off his wife like she's bat-shit crazy, till it affects him. Then it's time to finally do something about it.

[@stockyirish]

Sorry, buddy. Your Philly accent needs some work.

[@stockyirish]

Since you asked for examples though. The most well known is how we say water as wood-er.

[@whomee2]

Yeah, it sounded more like a butchered Australian accent

[@bussafushiguro6064]

lol i cringed so hard

[@ERoBB1]

I guess you didn't realize he was making fun of it.

[@slartybartfast5896]

As a Philly native for 48 yrs, Shit all my family started in Fishtown , I agree that was real bad. Sounded like Baston ta me.

[@AvangionQ]

@ 4:18 That unexpected change in tone gave me a chuckle ... thanks for that, and a +1 for you ... ;-)

[@valmarsiglia]

Yeah, but come on. A PhD in parapsychology is about as credible as a PhD in Leprechaunology. PhDs in regular psychology aren't too far behind.

[@jamesbizs]

MP yeah you go ahead and get yourself a PHD

[@mau_victorino]

Thank you, Jack, for this decent upload!! Last couple of ones were starting to make me worry everybody in Cracked had died a gruesome secret death...

[@DN_13]

But Jaws was a true story and the mayor really did that. Can't be a straw man if it's real and true.

[@doombybbr]

Except "based on a true story" is not the same as "is a true story", the shark probably didn't kill those many people, and probably wasn't that big or smart, that and sharks rarely attack humans.

[@Shotokan1001]

igor caique Google New Jersey 1916 shark attacks it was mostly based of that.

[@ChristinaMitchellwriter]

I know Jack is gone from Cracked now, but that description of what a strawman is actually made me spit my water out. I wasn't quite expecting that. Good job, former boss dude of Cracked dot com.

[@Alex-cj2kc]

Lol. People stay hating on cracked. These people just trying to do their jobs. It's like telling McDonald's to fit all their janitors because the cooks and cashiers and their favorite employees.

[@arthurvandeliegh8681]

Mcdonald's doesn't have cooks.

[@evrbody]

Speaking of Ghostbusters, they got Kurt Fuller, who is always typecast as these types of characters, for Ghostbusters II.

[@threadbearr8866]

The politician is spot on in the USA. Where have you been the past twenty years?

[@squirrel5809]

This is great, these characters drive me nuts too

[@jeffreyanderson667]

How did the least likable and talented one become editor-in-chief?

[@kajmace]

Maybe he has mad editing skillz

[@silverandexact]

Not great at videos ≠ not great at being editor in chief

[@tanglwystdeholloway5461]

Watched Jaws in the theater with my dad and I was behind my hands the whole time. Read the book 200 times. Later, I watched it uncut as an adult and realized how amazing it really was. Now, I have a tiny stuffed shark signes by Gottleib on my purse as a constant companion.

[@benedictifye]

this video is too long. takes too long to make its point over and over

[@mandymccullough2907]

benedictify no you

[@RobertJRoman]

I have another ridiculous straw man that could never happen in real life. So, in this story that I saw playing on TV recently, the guy playing the Governor of Florida decided to keep the beaches open for spring break, despite knowing there was a world-wide novel coronavirus pandemic going on. I had to roll my eyes at that suspension of disbelief.

[@umichrudy]

Clearly you have no idea how small towns that rely on seasonal tourism work. Their entire economy for the year is often dependent on one or two weekends throughout the year bringing in business. I know it's hard to see though, from that lofty Ivory Tower.

[@suk4honesty]

Wow.....

[@gz5405]

This is...a lot.

[@triciawoy]

Oh Geez. I lived most of my life in a small tourist town and yeah ur argument is absolutely ridiculous especially when you have the nerve to ascribe the writers and employes of Cracked as being in a Lofty Ivory Tower. Two weekends does not an economy make. Most of thier income is derived from the people who live in the town and surrounding towns just like any other smalm town. Oh yeah and agriculuture. Or fishing or importing or basicaly Anything they do year round.

[@sewerface]

Thank you, Jack for reminding me of why I ever liked Cracked in the first place. Please continue.

[@MrGeekGamer]

Someone please Old Yeller Cracked. Lets remember them at their prime, before all this garbage.

[@SmashLiXs]

cracked should do an explaining why people don't like ghostbusters reboot. I know I like the movie

[@SomeAHole]

Half of the movie was funny and good, and the other half was cringy and bad. Any further questions?

[@wierdalien1]

Some A. Hole so it should even out to meh?

[@SomeAHole]

Alistair Shaw Yup. And it's frustrating mostly. I mean, it's like: why even make a remake that's adequate when you have the original, a movie that's amazing?

[@radioatlast]

It's worth noting that the third act is painful to watch at times. It's a generic sky laser with cringe worthy fighting that completely dispels the idea of capturing the ghosts that they had in the first movie. It has some really good moments but follows them up with half a dozen jokes that just don't hit.

[@SmashLiXs]

what was bad?

[@CompanionRohaa]

I'm with you on the ghostbusters straw man, but I gotta point something out here: you're saying that it's unrealistic that a guy with two PhDs who actually catches ghosts should be disrespected by some official or other who insists on believing that ghosts are a hoax. Lemme tell you, as someone with a PhD (in biology) who actually sees ghosts and has a practise giving paranormal readings ... that's very realistic. Getting disrespected, mocked, ignored, talked down to, even as a doctor with demonstrable results, is par for the course. Still, this many years later.

[@ryanbrown4053]

Rohaa par for the course as it should be

[@silenthill4]

You obviously have no respect for the scientific method. How did you get a degree, University of Phoenix?

[@RansomeStoddard]

As a Philadelphian, you missed a few key Philly words. "Water" is "wudder", "New Jersey" is "Joy-zee", and "excuse me, sir" is "yo".

[@mutedonkey8361]

You forgot that "hello" is "fuck you"