6 Years Clean - Leaving my abuser

[@JelliesWorld]

Here are the links where you can: Join my monthly BL/LGBT sticker club: www.patreon.com/jelliesworld Get the past sticker club rewards: jelliesworldstore.myshopify.com/ www.etsy.com/shop/JelliesWorld Support me on Ko-fi: ko-fi.com/jelliesworld

[@warmia9475]

Don't apologise for something you can't control. Shit like that isn't something you're responsible for. My own mother didn't accept my symptoms of autism spectrum and i overreacted. Before you ssy anything, she's depressed and she's too stressed having 6 kids. Two in college and she and my dad have to pay the expenses of college for both of them. Trust me Josh, you're stronger than me both mentally and physically. If you think you're weak, just remember my mistake to tell yourself you proved yourself to ne stronger than me. Love you Josh. I see you as a older sibling

[@warmia9475]

Maybe you could do a channel membership of emoji stickers? Please, it's not too much for us. Cats, bl couples. Just anything you need, I'm still a minor and I'm unable to but if you can't take from the money for the sticker shop the channel membership money in us dollars could very much help you as it is only meant for you in terms of money.

[@Joyfulwork01]

Love you Josh ❤❤❤❤

[@whosawhatsits]

Do you still have a P.O. Box we can contribute to?

[@desensitizedanalyser5624]

I wish I could know how your abuser was raised and what her thoughts are on life.

[@dorianlenoroc908]

Do not shame yourself for buying Manga, art supplies, etc. That was your way of trying to survive, your finally in a space where you can finally be safe and now work through it

[@yoanamariakrasteva3392]

There's a reason they are called "escapism"!

[@forgotmyname4807]

Idk who exactly said this, but I saw it on reels that if u buy smtg silly n goofy or unnecessary for yourself n feel guilty BUT if its also the things that's stopping u from jumping off then that is a necessity, n I like to live by that.

[@ukeyaoitrash2618]

​@@forgotmyname4807more importantly as a weeb going to 23 cons a year and having my whole life in fandom, manga and anime etc are not silly and goofy but necessities anyway 😂

[@marenatedroses129]

Nice pfp doctor

[@dorianlenoroc908]

@@marenatedroses129 thank you doctor

[@hinazuke]

Sending you some love and light. And hope you can get a mattress sooner rather than later.

[@lizzspo]

I wish i was older so i can donate too. But i have alot of respect for you ❤

[@unidentifieduser]

bless your heart❤

[@lizzspo]

@@julietjhope4202 what do you mean.?

[@TheXaon]

I’m so sorry Josh, I know quite well the kind of abuse you’ve been through. You don’t owe any of us an apology. I’m proud of you for having the self confidence and self respect to break out of the abusive place you’ve been stuck in.

[@baochi456]

Queer Vietnamese viewer here, I have watched your videos since my Fujoshi phase, you got me through my highschool years. I’m in college now, i figured out my gender identity, in part thanks to you. Please get better.

[@living7063]

🫂

[@pud_dinh1402]

omg hi fellow Vietnamese! (I'm gay >:3)

[@baochi456]

@@pud_dinh1402 yipppe, im genderfluid ✨✨

[@kainatnesa8982]

The fact that you even had the _worry_ of coming off as "money hungry" is proof enough for me that you are genuine. I understand why you had that concern, and the shame that might have come along with it but for me you never had to worry about that. We wouldn't think you were money hungry, because that is not the image you portray to us and I choose to believe that. In any case, I am so happy for you that you managed to escape and I will pray that it will stay that way. Please, take care of yourself. I lived in Malaysia until very recently so I know the cheapest foods have little to no nutritional value because they are largely fried. Take care of yourself, drink lots of water, etc. I'm sorry this comment is very wordy :'(

[@living7063]

🫂

[@CrayCrayslab]

I'm not a BL fan and I don't have a use for queer stickers or pins. I'm just a human being who has been through some miserable shit. This is the only video of yours I've watched and despite my currency being a bit weird, i hope you can get a nice meal or something with it. Good luck with life ❤️

[@ryanni27]

I think parental abuse is so normalized in Southeast Asian countries that it makes stuff like this seem run of the mill for so many of us. I'm so happy you were able to leave that situation and can start to take care of yourself. Don't forget that we care about you, Josh, and we want you to be happy.

[@tangentreverent4821]

Didn't go through physical abuse, my mom did go for gaslighting. Thank you for reminding me that my mom's view of me was as a reflection on the family. I am the older sibling who disappeared 21 years ago.

[@uluruise]

Your story is nearly identical to mine. It’s a very frustrating and painful life to have lived with a narcissistic parent. Know that you are stronger than what your mother will manipulate you to be. And know that right now things seem bleak and unsure, but it does get better. You’ll become more confident and sure of yourself. You do have a life outside of your mother. Be safe.

[@moviefrik]

You dont have anything to apologise to us for. I am just happy to hear that you got away 😭💜 I just want to say, you could NEVER dissapoint us 💜 We are here for you 🫶🏻

[@strongest956]

I laughed, talked for a long time with my bestie, and had a great time watching your videos, Sensei. We want to see you grow and shine , please take care of yourself. Lots of love and huggies from my side.

[@mioontheradio]

youre so kind

[@living7063]

🫂

[@dhyan_kumar_]

woah an indian like me hey

[@living7063]

@@dhyan_kumar_ hey fellow fujoshi

[@megancashatt]

Josh, you are not money-hungry; you’ve never done anything to make us think such. You do not need to apologize, for you have done nothing wrong. You have gone through horrible abuse. Josh, you are powerful. I look up to you and admire your strength and fantastic character. I hope that everything goes well and let us know if you need anything, we’re here for you!❤️

[@GracefullyBrianna]

For all who need this: - I am proud of you - I see you - You are worthy - You are needed here - Keep going please - Thank you just because - Keep pushing, growing, learning - Be well, be you, be where you're free or work towards it (creating, walking, reading, privatize things, etc.) ❤

[@poornima2700]

Hope things improve for u!

[@zackerymorris8268]

I am a fellow abuse survivor my mom and dad were very similar. I want you to know you do not have to be sorry or feeling apologetic for anything regarding your mental health. I know the survivors guilt can be incredibly hard. You do not need to feel guilty for advertising your sticker club regardless of the situation either. You are a valuable person. A beautiful example of humanity. You are a bright light in my life. You are not money hungry, you are not a beggar. Thank you so much for everything you do and I at minimum am very proud of you for being strong enough to escape and strong enough to make it

[@LeonardoHeard-wj8qm]

You didn't disappoint us You were going through hell you deserve all the help that you need.

[@phantomtales7274]

When you talk about your mom and what she used to do to you, it really makes me think back on your previous stories. It made my stomach drop when you talked about the abuse you went through and what you went through when you were trying to get out. While I wasn’t able to provide much support in the kickstarter or the sticker thing, I watch and rewatch all your vids. I’m thrilled you’re doing better, so don’t ever apologise for doing what you can to get out. Hope you’re doing better now Josh. Wishing the best for you and you’re new life. Hope you get your life back together and get to see your friends back and make more, also wishing luck for your sister as well.

[@living7063]

🫂

[@nikki4803]

I'm just a broke teen so I didn't contribute to your sticker shop or kickstarter, and to be honest I didn’t know about them. This is also the first time I've heard about any of this from you. I guess I missed certain things and/or I'm just dense as hell. I just want to say that this SHOULD NOT be an apology video. It should be an update video. You have NO reason at all to apologize for trying to garner the money to get away from your ABUSER. I don't know how things work socially in Malaysia so I honestly have no idea why you would think any of us would be uncomfortable. So what if you're "money hungry"? I guess you were in a way? I really hope this doesn't come off wrong. But it was all for your SURVIVAL. You were ACTUALLY hungry after somehow your mother still managed to starve you after you left. Anyone that tries to blame or critisize you for that just doesn't have a human soul. You asked for help, but it is still the choice of all your viewers to support you. They're not forced to. Which I think is better to think about if you ask me considering all the people that could and did support you made a conscious decision to do so. I wish now more than ever that I could buy something from your shop knowing all this. But the most I can do now is try to remind you that it is NOT your fault, you have and will NEVER have ANY reason to apologize to us for trying survive or your mother for the abuse SHE put uou through, and things WILL get better because it's clear people are still going to support you. I hope things get better for you very soon ❤

[@living7063]

I'm so glad that ppl like you still exist 🫂

[@Metalchix63]

Thanks!

[@_uunxi]

i am a 15 year old girl 2 years clean, my older brother and sister moved out and finally escaped my abusive parents. as the youngest, i still have to stay for 2-3 years and this is making me insane.

[@13vampires_Near_Y0u]

Sorry to hear, I hope you are able to leave. You are loved and wanted.

[@Lovely-love-]

You don’t need to apologize. Just stay safe. We will support you.

[@Chrysatis]

you're so strong for leaving. i hope you future will be brighter and full of oppotunities and good luck.

[@yoanamariakrasteva3392]

As another child of an abusive parent (my father has been physically, mentally, verbally and emotionally abusive all my life), you have ALL my blessing! Love from Bulgaria and another person from the LGBT+ community (on the asexuality spectrum too)! 🌍🌟🌈

[@CrayCrayslab]

Oh damn wtf, Bulgaria mentioned - neuron activated Успех ❤

[@yoanamariakrasteva3392]

@@CrayCrayslab Благодаря!

[@ms_souma3698]

Seeing all love and prayers to you and all the victims of narcissists 😔😔😔

[@KurohaneShizumi]

I'm a new viewer but holy hell you do not have to apologize at all. You don't have to give anything back. Just keep living and surviving. Fuck anyone that would do this to another person. You are so strong and I can't wait to see where you go from here. I'm sure you'll do great things. I hope there's nothing but amazing things coming your way. 🙏💕✨🌈

[@wondertyzipp8260]

As someone who has also experienced abuse from my mother, what she did to you is unacceptable. You are not alone in your struggles and you have nothing to apolgise for. Your mother was wrong for what she did to you and the fault is ONLY on her. I wish for you to be happy and have all the success in life. You are worthy of all things good and we all love and appreciate you ❤

[@Phoenix.Sparkles]

Your mother literally commited child negligence, idk about Asia, but in my country that's against the law and she would face jail time and lose costidy for sure. No one deserves to starve. Edit: DO NOT return to the abuser, you have been conditioned to believe that may be the right choice, but it's not. Forget about her.

[@Mikazuki_augus544]

Josh, nobody should have had to feel the way that you felt. Nobody should have been forced to live in those harsh conditions that you did. But u did it. And u survived. And we are all so immensely proud and just grateful that you are still here today. 6 years clean 🤗🤗🎊🎊 And with the freedom that you have so recently gotten, it's only going to get better from here!! Fighting!! 💪💪🥺🥺

[@fovexes]

I'm just an Internet stranger, but I'm so proud of you and everything you've been able to overcome! I always look forward to your uploads and will support you any way I can. I just joined your Patreon Sticker Club 😊😊😊😊

[@lucierigby5460]

There's no need to apologize about promoting your form of income. I myself am starting to save up to move out to go to university in a bigger city so I can't buy anything at the moment. But I'll continue to watch your videos, promote your work and recommend you to my friends to help you anyway that I can. I'm so proud of you for getting through this and know that we all love and support you 🥰

[@lilpretzelstickz]

I went through/am going through something similar. in January of this year, my mother kicked me out and gave me one week to leave. I was so convinced that I wouldn't be able to live on my own. I had created such a codependency to a woman i'm not sure even loves me. My first few months away, I was barely eating, as I didn't have a job, going through the rest of my little savings and a benefit form the government. My housing situation is very unstable, but I can't really afford to move out. It's really great to see that it gets better, seeing someone who was in a similar situation, but managed to get in a better one. Thank you for sharing your story, it gives me hope. I'm 8 days clean :)

[@anushakrishna8303]

Stay safe

[@tangentreverent4821]

Forgiveness means that you stop wanting revenge, it doesn't mean wanting the person back in your life.

[@currently_online]

Josh, I have followed you for years, and knew that your situation was complicated, but never knew that it was that bad. You are not money hungry, you dont owe us an apology. I am so sorry you had to go through all this, and am so happy that you have stayed so strong. And you did nothing wrong with buying manga and things to keep you happy and sane. Im SO happy that you have been able to leave. If you have a paypal or kofi, plx let me know, its a bit complicated for me to use patreon, and shipping for the sticker club (location issue) But i really want to help you out!

[@Lakshmi15yzh]

you really dont have to apologise for anything, none of this is your fault, we all will always support you and be here for you

[@lucky-em]

There's no need to apologize for needing money and buying the supplies necessary to make a living. We're just happy to hear you're in a safe space now. ❤️

[@warmia9475]

Don't apologise for something you can't control. Shit like that isn't something you're responsible for. My own mother didn't accept my symptoms of autism spectrum and i overreacted. Before you ssy anything, she's depressed and she's too stressed having 6 kids. Two in college and she and my dad have to pay the expenses of college for both of them. Trust me Josh, you're stronger than me both mentally and physically. If you think you're weak, just remember my mistake to tell yourself you proved yourself to ne stronger than me. Love you Josh. I see you as a older sibling

[@KomaedasOneTrueHope]

You didn't disappoint us. We are all happy you got away from such a bad situation 💔 you also don't have to apologize you didn't do anything wrong at all😭

[@sugarcubesisaweeb]

Please don’t apologize, you are not in the wrong. You never disappoint and never will.

[@threadsofsaffron]

i havent entirely checked in on your channel in a while but i made sure to watch this video all the way through. im so sorry you had to go through all that and im so happy you managed to make it out alive and safe. please dont apologise for advertising your stickers and merch! you fully deserve every penny you earn from your work.

[@tangentreverent4821]

Oh yeah, "who cares if you have friends?" Isolation behavior. That was my mom.

[@shiroineko6522]

I'm so happy you're alive Josh , I can't believe you've been through so much pain and suffering i wish i could just give u a hug rn...💔

[@107theory2]

Josh I am so so sorry you had to endure all that. I am literally about to cry and I am only half way through the video. You are such a wonderful human being and I cannot tell you how grateful I am that you didn’t end it all. I love your videos, I love hearing you tell your stories, I love getting the notification that you posted a new video. Thank you for being here mate. I am so fucking proud of you for making it through all that.

[@wonderbugone]

Well, this was harrowing. All I wanna say is never feel bad that you bought manga, my dude. Not all necessities go in or on our bodies, especially when you are living as you described here. For all we know, those books might've saved your life. I am so happy for you

[@StormEscape]

I was in a very similar situation a couple years ago. None of it was ever your fault. Also, even if there wasn't a bad scenario, never feel bad as an artist for trying to sell your products. We artists need to eat and put a roof over our heads too. It's not something to be ashamed of. We deserve to profit off of things we work so hard for. Getting out of abuse is hard even after a few years of being out of the situation, you'll feel tired and burnt out for a long while as your body and mind recover, but recovery is possible. You have a whole community backing you and we are proud of you for surviving.

[@patient9645]

Love your everything! I pray for your success in the future

[@lovenothate4489]

Please don't feel the need to apologize. As someone that also have struggled breaking free from a narcissist parent I get how difficult the situation can be and how painful it is as well. You are so brave and strong! I wish you all the happiness ❤

[@recklessmusic7870]

You don’t owe us a apology for anything and I’m so happy your were able to leave ❤

[@tateyui]

You've come so far we're so proud of you Josh ❤you deserve happiness

[@daiseuets]

Proud of you for 6 years clean. I'm 4 years clean. I really hate that I ever self harmed. Once you stop, you begin to realize how much it really doesn't help, how much it only escalates the situation and prolongs it into the future because you can no longer get rid of the scars. I did notice you pushed out a lot of things at once, but I never thought you were money hungry; you are a very genuine person and the fact you worry how you come off as is proof. I wish the best for your future. I cannot image having to live with a mother like that for as long as you had to. I've already had it of my family and I'm much younger than 27 and my situation was never as close as dire as yours. It makes me feel like I'm oblivious with how you were able to deal with such suicidal thoughts and remain as usual in your videos, and I never suspected anything behind the scenes.

[@plontherb362]

There's no need to apologize and you never disappointed us .Im so happy that your finally free from that horrible stuff and i really hope you'll be able to get better and be happy! i really enjoy all of your videos and content! and im sure everyone here is looking to support you in any way they can ,even if it's just watching your videos. (Also i don't know if you are still working on your own BL series, but if you are im ,looking forward to it!!) have a nice day/night and stay safe!

[@dorianlenoroc908]

If you are ever put into a position that you have to starve, please get some protein powder. It'll help

[@NK-is7kr]

I wish I could give you a big hug I hope it gets better for you

[@yukiyoshino-bt6nj]

so sorry that happend to you we all suport you i hope your doing better

[@valentinarapose6932]

Josh, I am so sorry for everything you have had to go through. I wish you all the happiness and safety in the world. Your channel has been a great emotional support to me. I love you ❤

[@aayushirajsingh]

Please take care of yourself, eat well and sleep well. FIGHTING!!!

[@umairahfaridfaisal2778]

Oh the visceral NOOOOO in my body when you said maybe you should've forgiven her at 27:22 was so strong I felt rageful for you. If it somehow makes you feel better, I'm an aroace living in Malaysia (Johor, specifically) currently chasing my medical degree. I never managed to see fellow local LGBT people anywhere, and it felt like a revelation when the algorhithm showed me your video bc my god do we exist. We exist, we exist just living our lives and aaaaaa I'm just so happy to have found you like I'm doing a happy dance in my seat!!!! I'll recommend your channel to my fujoshi friends to help the algorhithm and I'll buy something from the merch store whatever the cost once I get proper wifi but just wanna say hi and send you well wishes, especially wishes of safety and peace.

[@RooniP]

God bless your journey...he loves you so much and is always there for you...

[@SleepyBurito]

You are amazing and so brave for opening up about all of this, you never owe an apology for putting yourself first

[@tangentreverent4821]

Second time I was homeless, I woke up from a dream where my family tracked me down and was in a panic from it.

[@mlem6951]

I`m a quite viewer most of the time, so my words are not that important. But you really don't have to apologize. I'm so sorry you had to go trough all this. I feel you at some point, although i got out way early from my abusive family. But i get the feeling, feeling dependet on someone who you know is abusing you xx. I wish i could support you, but even the shipping to germany is so high and i don't have that much money myself xx. But i'm so happy at how much support you got and that it now will finaly get better. I send you so much strenght. Don't let her get you. She is a sad person and you are so strong.

[@living7063]

🫂They are a sad person and you are so strong. Idk imma take this with me

[@Slleeepyyy]

I'm so sorry that you had to deal with someone like that in your life. Abuse like this is no joke and I'm very happy to hear that you are safe now! Please know that you don't owe ANYONE an apology. You deserve love respect and kindness, pls never forget that. I wish you the very best and stay safe

[@san_vi25]

I'm new to this chanel but i still love all ur videos and support everything❤ , You don't need to apologize, it was not your fault , you did what u could and didn't give up! I'm happy to see that you made it here and now are standing in this platform with all of us to support you, we are really really very proud of you! U were able to come this far :) now ur standing in new grounds my frnd so i hope u keep going and do what you love ❤❤❤ we will always be here for you :] [Also, i might be new here, but u are one of my big inspirations and this video made me even more inspired than ever to never give up, thank you jellie :) ! ]

[@Firefox42]

I used to watch you as a kid, I’m glad your in a better place now.

[@Asariesi]

Glad you got away. There is absolutely no need to apologise 💚🕊️

[@Wine12345]

Congratulations Josh! Stay strong, things are already getting better 🩵

[@gigglesanxietydevil7266]

You didn’t need to apologize to us! You needed to focus on yourself and that’s understanding! Many people after watching this, I bet, are glad that you moved away and got away from that toxic life! It was for the best. You didn’t need to apologize to us, you just need a hug from us followers! Even I wanna hug you after watching and listening to this video!!! 😭🥺

[@living7063]

🫂

[@proudvballmom4142]

As someone with a narcissistic mother of my own, I am so damn proud of you for taking all the steps you felt was necessary to leave. I'm wishing you the best of luck, and I have a good feeling you'll do fantastic on your own. Also, congratulations on being 6 years clean! I'm very happy you are in a better headspace now and can live your life in peace and joy. Some days will prove to be very difficult, but keep holding onto hope! You deserve every bit of happiness that comes to you, and I hope you'll be able to slowly emotionally heal now that you're in a much better environment

[@defintitlynotAhsoka]

Josh, We love you and your content. Please don't apologize. You are one of the reasons I haven't hurt myself for so long, thank you. We are so proud of you especially for leaving. Stay safe. ❤

[@baki_222]

I am a viewer who has silently enjoyed your videos, but today, i just wanna acknowledge your strength in those trying times. I really admire your willpower and your bravery. It must be so relieving to finally break free. And of course, i will find a way to support you however i can. Greetings from Macedonia ❤

[@living7063]

🫂

[@PlusUltra0taku]

Oh sweet heart I hope everything great will come to you it’s great that you did what you did I hope you be okay sending you lots of love and hugs stay safe

[@QhagunullThePoodle-lt5tt]

I've had just the same problem with my mother! What a coincidence. Anyway, I'm sorry about how things went with your mom, my friend. I left my family for verbally and mentally abused me, wanting me to crawl back to her as a manipulation to get her money. Screw her. Anyway, I'm really sorry that you're having problems , buddy.

[@Yuki_ejrio]

I'm proud of you josh I'm happy you could finally get away from her I just hope that you'll be happier and safe now that your away from her

[@TheMulticoloredStar]

As someone who went through manipulation abuse as a child & teen from a aunt, I know how hard it can be😞. I’m glad & thankful that ur were able to leave, & those who want to support u will not feel disappointed for u selling or being away for awhile☺️💖. Congratulations to a better future💖🥳🥰💖.

[@living7063]

🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂 my mate I wish you some HARDCORE HAPPINESS.

[@runningtoastgirl7766]

It's not your fault. NOT your fault. Never think it was your fault. You deserve better. So much better. Do NOT apologize. Take pride in going on and living your life, and in a way truly starting your life. You are strong. You CAN survive. Do not lose hope.

[@AshAshashhhh]

Please dont apologize 💕💕 sending love.

[@PaulaLiciago]

Hun, I am so glad you are feeling sooo much better. I love to see and listen to you just ... Letting it out. I am glad to support you and making things better. I never had a good ... Relationship with my own mother... But I feel your emotions.... It hard to get that heartache.... I hope this helps more 💓💓🫂🤗

[@imperfectworldimperfecthum5015]

Nothing to apologize for. Glad you’re safe Josh ❤ Also, camping pads are good option while you’re saving for a bed.

[@ashi6503]

Sending love to you from pakistan josh... I've been watching you for years now and i'll continue to do so... wish you all the happiness in the world ❤

[@KaitouKiara422]

You are brave and really a warrior to stand up (and its your mom too!!) against your abuser. Don't ever apologize for the things you can't control and honestly I'm glad you were buying manga while living under that "lady" roof, was proof that you have hope to leave her and enjoying the things you love. You are a warrior and me and so many people are proud of you!!

[@living7063]

🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂

[@hbaird7258]

I’m so glad you got out of that situation. it takes so much- strength, energy, money, time. I hope you’re proud of doing this for yourself- you should be!

[@staydellune]

You never need to apologise for doing what is best for you ♥ There's nothing wrong with promoting something you made and love, we are always here to listen and be proud of you! I hope you are doing better now and even though I haven't been able to buy anything from your stores, I will continue to support you by watching your videos ♥

[@jeantumbagahan2053]

I'm in the same situation as you right now Josh, because of my abusive father :(...and it's really a struggle for me too and I ended up developing mental illness like depression, social anxiety, panic attacks and many more because of him :(..I'm currently taking medications for 4 years now and honestly it isn't helping me at all because I'm still here in this hell house and with my abusive father and everyday is very toxic for me :(....and I can't really move out in our house because I'm financially unstable and can't I afford renting outside :(...also I'm afraid of my father and don't have the courage to move out... But I'm happy for you Josh!! you took the courage to moved out in your toxic household and live by yourself :) Honestly it's the best feeling to be independent and not care about your toxic parents bitching about your life! Seriously Asian parents sometimes feel like they own their children and want them to do whatever they want with them! controlling you even though you are a grown ass adult already! and start bitching when they couldn't get you to do what they want!. It's very toxic seriously :( I just hope that your mother change in the future and learn to understand your feelings and not just always theirs....Praying for you Josh! Stay positive always! and stay healthy! 😊

[@living7063]

I hope you well. From I know my experience that it becomes more harder to overcome that shit when you close environment is still toxic and filled with shit. I'll pray for you before going to sleep maybe something may manifest.🫂

[@jeantumbagahan2053]

@@living7063 Thank you much!😭🙏 It feels like living hell 😞 and surviving everyday is very hard..😭

[@timtian4716]

​@@jeantumbagahan2053you can escape this, we all support you ❤

[@darkangel7589]

Josh. I get it. You’re in a way worse situation than I am. I’m here for you. You don’t owe us an apology for anything. ❤ On that note, I might as well tell my story here: My father never physically abused me, but he has mentally abused me since I was 16. The gaslighting, yelling, etc. He yelled at my mother this morning for absolutely no reason. I tried to take my own life in July 2020, just after turning 17. It was a combination of a lot of things, including the pandemic and my dad’s behavior. It got worse during Covid and hasn’t gotten better since. I’m now 20 years old, and still living at home due to having painful endometriosis. I would have left as soon as I turned 18 if I wasn’t always in pain. On top of that, I got Covid twice, which weakened my immune system. Every time I get sick (including right now, as I’m stuck in bed with a nasty cold), he always blames me for it because of my “lifestyle choices”. Um, okay. I take really good care of myself. Exercise, eat well, etc. How is it my fault that kids that are germ factories are going out trick or treating on Halloween? I don’t know how I haven’t snapped yet. Sorry for the novel. I just want to let you know that you’re not alone.

[@dhyan_kumar_]

girl i hope u get a good income and job and run and lead a happy life all the best and keep going

[@darkangel7589]

@@dhyan_kumar_if only inflation would go away…

[@living7063]

I just searched wht endometriosis is and boy it sound so damn painful my homie you're a warrior don't let that shit get you 🫂

[@darkangel7589]

@@living7063sorry if this is tmi, but the risk of passing out and whacking my head on something because of endometriosis pain, the heavy bleeding and large clots have sort of held me back. I have to wear diapers because of how heavy my periods are.

[@living7063]

@@darkangel7589 don't say that it's too much information I don't have much friends so I like it when someone confides in me. Sometimes I'm crippled just by my period cramps I can't imagine the pain you must be going through on regular basis. Are there any signs of recovery?

[@aun7106]

5 minutes into the video, sorry I can't continue watching it because it also triggered my trauma 😔 I sympathize with you, having narcissistic parent is so difficult. The way you describe your mother is exactly like my experience, except for me it's my father. As fellow ASEAN (Indonesian) I hope I can give you encouragement and walk together through this hell

[@MsVelve]

I'm so sorry you had to go through all this. I hope things only get better from now on, stay as strong as you are, move forward and don't ever look back 💖

[@kvtrxd1547]

I don't know if I will ever get it, but I hope we can see you happy and smiling face at some point. Best of luck josh.

[@aqueenofcats7262]

There’s nothing to apologize for! You were doing what you could to survive, being stuck with an abusive/manipulative parent is hard regardless of age. Those questions and doubts, I had the same before I finally I got of the toxic house I was in. People who treat their children like that don’t deserve them in the first place. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help, and when you were promoting your stickers and merch. Many content creators need the extra income, and you do deserve it. I’ve watched your vids for years and you have grown so much and I’m proud of you. We all are, and those who are trying to put you down don’t deserve your attention. Please take care of yourself, we are here for you, and will support you however we can.

[@living7063]

🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂 It breaks my heart to think how many of us had gone through the same hell with different fonts.

[@jesse9061]

Hey, Josh, I just want to tell you that you're worth it and being loved by a lot of people. You're not alone. People are more than happy to support you. I'm glad that you're out of this situation and hopefully you can heal from it now. Healing will be tough and need time but I'm sure you can do it. Love ya! P.S.: I'm for once thankful for KZbins recommendation. I actually watched your videos a few years ago when I first got into bl but then I kinda stopped watching them ^^" I'm proud of how far you came

[@abbababba8186]

hi josh! ever since I first came across this video I’ve been binging all your content ever because I really relate to your broken family dynamic. it’s insane to know someone biologically designed to love you for all time would try and plot their child’s downfall let alone someone as goodhearted and kind as you, on top of extremely excelling both academically and financially considering your circumstances. I can’t tell you how much of a fire it lit inside me as a skittish 20 yr old seeing someone later into their twenties still committed to living and determined to fight against their parents for freedom and control over their life no matter the cost. and now you’re free! no matter how long it takes me, even if it’s long after my peers, my life will be my own in time. and although I don’t have anything to offer you directly I hope my single view can rack up across all your videos to amount to something close to a thank you, for living and reviling small joys and somehow creating all the while. and one more thing, I sincerely hope once you reach a more financially stable place you seek mental health support wherever/however you feel you need it. lots of love, n keep rockin out >:)

[@beyonceiyambo9347]

I'm so happy for you ❤, and don't reach out to her, you may forgive her but for you to thrive, your current disposition does not require a her vibe. ❤

[@shilibee3115]

I have been a quiet viewer for a long time, but I really want you to know that there is no reason to apolgize at all! ❤ you never made us feel uncomfortable and I really wish you the very best for the future- for all the days and months to come. You are very strong and you did absolutely nothing wrong! we will always root for you!

[@Vanessa-lugus]

I love you, I support you. I wish you all the best. Stay strong love

[@Mikazuki_augus544]

Congrats on moving outtttt!!!!🥳🥳🥳🥳

[@dhyan_kumar_]

all i can is im a student and i wish that i could support u josh , and im not lying your my favourite youtuber i still remember the day i discovered u back in 2021 by u r zettai bl video i enjoyed the intro of the video so much throughout u r videos i discovered so many yaoi and u r the og bl god josh sensei i still remember the only interaction i had with u , that was when i asked u whether u r indian coz u looked like one and im indian and u said no and i just love u i hope u get all the support aND all the love all the money and your life partner

[@lilianaafonso2461]

Josh, you are an inspiration and you never disappointed us. You are in a tough situation and you are doing your best to SURVIVE. We completely understand and we as a fanbase just want what is best for you. You did what you could in the situation you were living in and running away from an abuser is such a courageous thing to do. Besides your stickers are beautiful and totally worth the price Josh. Stay strong and the community is here to help if you ever need. One day it could be one of us. Thank you for giving us such great videos as well!

[@flameheart87]

Everyone deserves good parents, but not everyone deserves children.

[@starry_liess]

We’re with you, you don’t need to apologize, at all. We’re here for you. I didn’t know what you’ve been through nor have I experienced it, but we support you. We’re glad your still standing here. I can’t even think of reasons why you’d come out as money hungry, I understand why’d you have to kickstart them early. You’re one who’s someone I aspire to be like, artistic, funny, and just cool, and my thoughts of you still stay the same. We appreciate you and hope your doing better. Stay safe Josh

[@thunderpup7899]

I glad you made it out!