7 STUPID Dating Mistakes I Made While Single And Alone For 7 Years

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

What are some of the biggest mistakes you made or lessons you have learnt about dating? ❤

[@teresareviewsitall3613]

Don’t see them too often, so you have time to process the bad too after the hypnotic effect of the romantic date has waned. This way you are also less likely to get wrapped up in them, emotionally invested. You can be more calculating.

[@yagirljuly]

For me, the biggest lesson I learned is about BUTTERFLIES 🦋 In my opinion, the right person will feel like home and butterflies are your intuitions way of telling you something is off/ out of alignment with you. (Obv it’s normal to get them on a first date because you’re nervous, but months into dating is a warning sign to me) What are your thoughts?

[@iheartlux0787]

1. The biggest lesson I learned is you can’t change a man/ partner. 2. A real relationship is about partnership and working together to make life better. 3. A relationship is so much deeper than physical attraction. 4. You will just know when you find the your life partner.

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Such good advice! Thanks for sharing 😘

[@iheartlux0787]

@@CaitlinPawlowski Your welcome.😊❤️

[@hollywoodinnewyork]

I met my husband on a dating app, 8+ years ago before it was normalized. Back then, it was still kind of new and something you would hide or whisper about. He wasn't the type of guy I normally go for. He messaged me a few times but since I was not interested, I did not respond (I was always getting messages and could not respond to all of them). He then sends me a message saying, "I understand you are not interested but I'm curious - what did you cosplay as for Comic-Con?" When I told him I was the Tenth Doctor, he knew who that was and also watched Doctor Who. So, I decided to go out on a date with him. On our first date he took me to a wine bar and then we did some bar hopping. After telling him I've always wanted to be a vegetarian on our first date, for our second date, he took me to a vegan restaurant. On our third date, we went to a club in Brooklyn where they played 90's music, had a whiskey bar, and then ate at my favorite pizza spot. It was the best date I ever had. It dawned on me that he planned the third date incorporating my favorite things which he learned after listening to me on the last two dates. I realized that he was a gem, and that he was exactly what I needed - he was someone that was calm, thoughtful, humble, pragmatic, a problem-solver and made me a priority. It was the best decision I ever made. I also realized "my type" really wasn't my type and I needed to be more open-minded. Years later, he still looks at me with so much love and admiration and I do the same with him. 💕

[@leonaliman]

I've been single for nine years and I'm sick of online dating. It's tough weeding out the bad ones because people might lie on their profiles. I've gone on first dates with men who looked absolutely nothing like their profile photos or lie about wanting a long-term relationship just so they can get laid. In my experience most men who are on dating apps just want to get laid. Honestly I don't think I can do this much longer.

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Oh yes I’ve had both of those experiences throughout the time I was single Maybe try taking a break from the apps and go out with some gfs and have fun maybe or even plan a nice trip somewhere? ☺️

[@dahliacheung6020]

Yknow what's crazy? Almost every partner I've had I found online but not a single one was through dating apps. Dating apps tend to be like 70-80 percent men leaving that other portion of 30 percent or less a mixture of women and non-binary people. There are so many men, so many incompatible partners and a lot of them are desperate to the point of it being a turn off or have weird and disturbing views (like being a neckbear, niceguyTM, or incel) or are even straight up dangerous and abusive individuals who like that dating apps make it easy to trap unsuspecting vulnerable women. I've found almost all of my partners instead through social media, which really hasn't been hard because men accepting a friend request/follow/ message request from a strange woman doesn't hold the same level of potential danger for them the way it does for women. Also it is often more clear on social media if the guy is married or already with someone/dating someone whereas on a dating app a lot of guys hide that and pretend to be single. Additionally it's easier to spot red flags in terms of what they post and who they follow, as Caitlin points out in this video So yeah, I've had a huge amount of luck in my late teens and in my 20s (still in my 20s actually) with messaging guys who seem attractive and potentially compatible on facebook and instagram, talking, and then eventually meeting up. Now, I'm not necessarily saying that you will absolutely have the same experience as me but I did find it to be a suitable alternative to dating apps. Usually the guys I added were in the "people you may know" Facebook category but I've met people on Instagram too.

[@abigaelrarts2257]

my biggest advice for if you're looking for a relationship is ironically to stop seeking a relationship out, and simply being open to something if it were to happen. In this time, go out and find what you like to do and pursue those hobbies and get out of the house where u come across ppl who u didn't think of before, and chances are you will come across someone you have things in common with. And because you're not looking to date specifically, you can view them in more of an objective light to see if you're compatible. Honestly I don't recommend the apps for anyone, they're too toxic and the emotional roller coaster attached is just not worth it. I could never get on board because it didn't feel organic. Also I didn't like that the first encounter with someone was immediately a date. I always did much better with seeing who someone was first on a platonic level, and maybe becoming friends first and letting feelings blossom out of that if that was to be. That's me though, I don't catch feelings that quickly, and need time to get to know someone. I just never liked the pressure of boom you're on a date and the dynamic is immediately either we're going on another date or you have to decide right now if u like them or not.

[@Oscar-lu4ot]

Dating is simple, just go out on dates, once you find someone you are attracted to and there is genuine chemistry between the two of you, go for it, before you know it, you'll be starting a family and the rest is history. Stop waiting for the perfect person, just find the best compatible partner for you and stop wasting time being complicated, picky and difficult. Life is short. Get in there.

[@CarolCreates]

Agree 👏🏽 It’s all about the chemistry. Which is not easy to find. If you do find it, lucky you! 🥰 I tell my nieces that “true love” isn’t easy to find. When you find it, grab it with both hands and don’t take it for granted as it rarely comes around twice 😊 I’m in my 50s and single. When I was in my 20s-30s I had guys that were truly “in love” with me. But I took it for granted. Unconditional true love is sometimes not easy to find that match 💘

[@TruthOrClaire]

I met my husband 9 years ago on a dating app. Our first date lasted 11 hours and our connection felt so natural from the very beginning. I like to refer to it as the golden age of online dating because I know of at least 5 other couples who met their spouses on apps around that time. Haha.

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

That is amazing 😻

[@ladanhariri]

I’m obsessed about your new content. You are so wise beyond your years, I wish I could have watched this video when I was single!!!! I absolutely agree with everything said in this video!!!!! I just sent this to all my single girlfriends and several of my patients!!!!

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

I absolutely adore you! Thankyou for being so encouraging in regards to my new content ☺️❤️

[@irenewhitney7468]

When all is said and done laughter is one of the most important things in relationship. No one make me laugh like my husband. When we first started dating we laughed and laughed and 7 years later we’re still laughing.

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

You are so right! X

[@tamiewert808]

I met my husband online after almost 2 years of " intensive" dating. I was at the point where I was ready to throw in the towel! As I sat there deleting all of my profiles, he popped up on my screen. I don't recall seeing him on there before, and there was something about his eyes that was very attractive. We knew we were meant to be after our first date! Biggest piece of advice I can offer to women out there, is not to judge based on looks alone. There are so many qualities that are forever, and appearance is not one of them! I am a Nurse who works with the Elderly, and believe me when I say, in the end, men and women tend to look alike, and so searching for a mate based on looks is a waste of time!!

[@Jiffypop]

Hi Caitlin! Love your new content. I’d rather think then watch an unboxing. 😬 One thing I learned after years of dating is that you cannot “fix” someone. I’d always go for the gorgeous, tortured type thinking my love could change them. Nope, never happened. Not saying people can’t change, just saying someone else can’t do it for them. ❤️

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Aw Thankyou so much! And yes I agree with your take on that! You can’t fix someone and trying is exhausting They have to want to fix themselves x

[@a.w5533]

Hi Caitlin

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

I’m soo glad you found what works for you! ☺️

[@CandleAshes]

I’m married now, but this video is so spot on and reminds me of my old self so much 💕 wish someone told me this in my early twenties

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thankyou for watching ❤️

[@sunnykel7573]

I love #7. Good on you for upholding your dignity. I am going to start doing that. Also the body language one too. I would assume guys at the bar were single and looking, and would get upset that they were 'lazy'/didn't make any effort. Like why come to the bar if you're going to stand around not doing anything. Didn't occur to me they were taken, and probably just there for the ego boost!

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

I wouldn’t necessarily say everyone is at the bar for an ego boost I go to bars occasionally even though I am in a relationship but enjoy going with friends even though I am taken Some men might occasionally go out for the same reason ☺️ thanks for watching

[@hotpink000]

the big sister i never knew i needed

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

🥰🥰🥰 👯‍♀️

[@phantomthread4385]

It's so weird in the west socially where we are so geared to finding impossible love like in the movies. I left my longest relationship of 13 years and get comments of why and what are you going to do and do you want to see someone new... 2 years later and I'm still so into being single. I miss the turbulent start of the relationship where it's all butterflies but don't miss the arguments, sharing a bed or dealing with the myriad niggles. I'm going to wait.

[@CarolCreates]

Yep, I was in a long-term relationship - 17 yrs, which ended last year. We “friend zoned” each other. If I’m honest, he ticked all the boxes, but the chemistry was off. I knew this from the beginning but ignored it 😏 Not being funny, but bad sex doesn’t help either 🤷🏽‍♀️ It starts to get boring and I suppose if there’s no “chemistry” it doesn’t help. I do love being single. But I miss the butterflies 🦋 and companionship 💘 I’ve recently joined a dating app, but I don’t know if I can be bothered.

[@sams3015]

Omg Caitlin, we talked about it before but I met the classic “nice guy” who proposed all these plans & then not really narrow things down. That really f*c*d with me…”let’s meet for lunch on Monday” and kept it vague. Like he would turn up but you kept having to drag it out of him exactly when and where on Monday you’re meeting & it would be his idea in first place lol

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Ugh the vagueness is a killer 🚩

[@jacquelinemoss1911]

You are a catch Caitlin and don’t ever doubt it ❤️

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Aww Thankyou lovely 😻

[@heidijay5902]

I personally couldn’t be bothered with on line dating. However I know some people have met the love of their life on there. I know I’ll eventually meet the right person for me, but I’m not out actively looking or putting any extra effort in. Most people I know have met their partner in the most weird, random & unexpected circumstances (such as their future partner’s car breaking down in front of their house, or the new vet in town falling for them when he came to look at their horse, etc.) Or they met their partner when they’d decided they wanted a break from dating, or when they were busy making other plans for their life.

[@AlexATheEngineer]

Laughing at the snow white song xD this is classic Caitlin content -- come for the shared fashion, lifestyle, etc interests/discussion, stay for your hilarious personality xD

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

🤭

[@aniasmirkin-bazejewska810]

This is hilarious and really entertaining! 😄 Am I closed?! 😳 I have to ask my cat 🧐

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

😂

[@aniasmirkin-bazejewska810]

@@CaitlinPawlowski ❤️

[@sunnykel7573]

Would love a part 2, this video was fantastic! Genuinely interesting things, not just the regular checklists you read all the time.

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thankyou so much! Xx

[@emiliabolsas]

Would love to see you Interview your friend about the “open” concept.

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

She moved overseas but she is very wise indeed ☺️

[@joseygonzalez1800]

I was single for 8 years and i'm so glad i never caved into hooking up. i'm now with my bf (he was actually by best friend) and i'm so happy.

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

That’s beautiful 🥰

[@LittleMissDeeDee]

I met my husband on hinge and my ex of 4 years on the WORST dating app ever lol! But he was a good man, we just weren’t compatible in the long run.

[@Stefania_Romanoff]

I’d rather get set up by someone instead of using dating apps

[@archeewaters]

sometimes you need the time off dating. sometimes you need to go out for a coffee and just talk to someone. you will know when it's the right person.

[@CC-kr3mr]

…” maybe I just had a bad run-in with twelve men, but” … 😂👌🏽 Omgosh, I love you, you are hysterical.

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

🙃 hehe ❤️❤️

[@katherineortiz8207]

I met my boyfriend on this app called Stir for single parents and we’ve been hitting it off perfectly. But I do have a friend who has a bad time learning that of a man isn’t interested, that she needs to move on.

[@yagirljuly]

"Diggily dig, dig, dig" ahahah too funny. Loving your new videos

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

😂 ❤️❤️

[@taylormorozova5475]

The digging song killed me 😫

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

😂

[@stevend2748]

Never thought of boxes as being "shallow boxes". That's a good concept to understand.

[@loes6839]

I've been together with my now husband for 10 years. I met him around my 16th birthday and I see friends and family looking for the one and it seems like such a hard thing to find genuine love nowadays. I feel very privileged that I've found my man via a dating app before it was a big thing (Tinder didn't even exist yet in our country😅). And I also think it's easier to build a life together than to have your own life and trying to fit another person with their own life into it. We were young, didn't have anything, started our first jobs, lived on our own for the first time all together. So everything we have, we did together.

[@seabreeze4559]

also heard red lighting, like wearing headphones, nice men won't speak to you orange light, risky look busy green light, open some guys, even secretly creepy celebrities, have a finsta or fake instagram to follow those weirdo accounts FYI so too clean is also weird

[@huberthuph5851]

I totally agree with you!! There are good men on dating apps

[@irinka_kat]

Not the dig dig dig dig song 🤣🤣🤣

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

😂

[@all4ege]

I met my BF on dating app You have an incredible dog))

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thankyou Flynn is a sweetie 🐶

[@mansoor3159]

Very Very helpful video Caitlin you're looking too beautiful💫💝😀

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thankyou! Xx

[@giedrebey5444]

Hi Caitlin, i hear you. I dont know how you ladies are doing in this date and time😳 i am married, now for almost 20 years. Dating was different then. It was no dating apps, or maybe was, but not like its now🤔 i was quite closed off, old fashioned ( well not from outside 😜) super high self esteem, and beliefs, what i want. Now what i would advise to the single girls, what i say to my step daughters, nieces. Being old fashioned is always in fashion😜 compatibility is one of the most important things, and also. Feministic ideas, threw them out of the window, especially if you have strong type a personality man, successful , driven man. Its still road to man’s heart is through his stomach🤪😜 so yes if you want not just to date a man, but make him want future with you, domestication is very important. Look always presentable, respect , support, and loyalty. If you see that the man is really good, put him first, before your girlfriends, friends. And if you really want to get that ring, dont listen advises from your girlfriends, collègues, etc… and do not take man for granted. Men are like children. They want to be fed, told that they are the best, treated as they are the most important, and treated as they are kings, especially if man is a very eligible bachelor ( successful, good looking) And i agree, with you, if you just met a guy, and he is single, dont expect to be the one, from day one 😳🤪 he probably has multiple girls. Now its normal as long as he treats you as you are the one. Of course after a few months, if you dont see any changes, when he might dont even want to be in relationship. But if he is ready for relationship, its up to you, to make him, see girlfriend , see future in you. And thats not so into you is so much talked about, but i met so many young girls, that still make excuses for a man. And the most favorite one, still is « he is so busy » 🤪🤪🤪 no if a man is really into you, he will find time to call you, to see you. And you are not going need to call him, looking for him😱 ( well this was one of mine ideas i do not call men . Look if i look for a man that is a real man - hunter, when why i would call him. Its his job. Now if he is not that type of man, when thats not what i am looking for in the first place) i never wanted to settle. Yes i had that list, how my perfect man supposed to be. I was lucky , when i wasnt looking at all, that man came to my life. But with all other qualities he had , if he wouldnt so tall and handsome, i probably would like him anyways. What other things are so important, is to see how he treats his mom. And to me, very important, the spirituality. I am not talking about church, or even religions. Spiritual man has more substance, boundaries , even if he runs the field as a single man, he will have different values, as he is ready to settle down . Have a blessed day🙏💗

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thankyou for sharing your thoughts on this ❤️

[@Arlene4HO]

The Shoop Shoop song by Cher… It’s in his kiss! 😃

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

👏yes!

[@kaylheecarroll3186]

Nice tips ❤

[@scarletpills84]

❤

[@rjwn50416]

❤❤

[@carrino15]

I loved this video, very entertaining and I gained some tips.

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thankyou! ☺️

[@Hdhbdjxbdbdbc]

I met love of my life and now husband on Tinder. I had also lots of criteria and he didn’t tickle most of them) but heart wants what it wants) 6 years together ✌🏻 through illnesses, deaths of relatives and war 🫣

[@CarolCreates]

True unconditional love 💘 Lucky you ! 🥰 How many frogs 🐸 did you have to kiss on Tinder before you met the one?

[@cockatoo657]

Hi Flynn!

[@CaitlinPawlowski]

Thankyou 🥰