A Field Guide To Losing Your Friends | Tyler Dunning | TEDxTeen

[@sadboysuss]

Thank for you words. I came here after multiple of my friends started ignoring me in group chats excluding me from activities and even my best friend... ignoring me. I don’t know what I’ve done, I’ve tried asking them but they would always act clue less, and I would just feel so powerless. Maybe it was all my fault. But that doesn’t matter because I will work on self improvement and have lots of good friends)

[@cassie-5914]

i feel this, constantly. and you give so much and get so little and just dont know what else you can do. but i feel like by becoming a doormat for people i just hurt myself so i have to start putting myself first.

[@lm5311]

I feel the same way. My friends have just decided to abandon me this year. But they have their reasons and have to respect their decision I guess. It's hard though.

[@emboltoriolindy5655]

Im rooting for you . Its the same for me I've also started to lose friends not because of anyone but because of me and my depression and all my unpredictable mood swings . Im really trying my best to become better right now and I cant blame them if they would not give too much effort for staying by my side when I need them the most. I know what you feels so keep on fighting 💓

[@yesenia6982]

The only person who got you at the end of the day is God & yourself 💗 Don’t stress over those people who want to bring you down! Be strong and be that Queen or King! Don’t let your crown fall. Stay strong ! 💗 God Bless 😃💗‼️

[@ritainganji721]

Same, it hurts a lot....kills me on the inside, but its okay....you're not alone

[@muzik9288]

The hardest thing is when there is no closure. The time when you know the friendship is not going to be restored yet there is no closure. It's harder when the friends who are leaving you are a part of a larger friends' groups. It really hurts.

[@matthewdipalma3413]

@@jazargoalq785 hey man, honestly just talk to them about it and communicate about it, say whatever u need to say to have closure, an emphasis on communication

[@ecexx.]

@@jazargoalq785 I made a letter and explained everything. Why it had to happen, our different paths in life and maybe old mistakes. Just be honest and he/she will appreciate it

[@lydc2c2]

it hurts so bad

[@naveenwilson-moola5570]

My friend and former best friend of over three years ended our friendship when I called her out for being rude to someone I love. She didn't even respond, treated me like I never existed and talked about me being my back and ruined my friendships with mutual friends. This was all about two weeks after the exact same thing happened except worse as an entire friend group of mine had been pretending to be my friends and were bullying me for months because of someone who was supposed to care about me, manipulating them into turning against me. When this happened I went to the person who would inevitably abandon me and she gave me all these reassurances that she loved me, cared about me and would never abandon me like my friends before. Two weeks later she did exactly that for the reason I mentioned and took all my other friends with her. Im more confused than anything, she was like a sister to me and she made me feel like she cared about me the same way I cared for her, when in reality, I was and am nothing to her.

[@babonnell]

@@jazargoalq785 iiijjjjjjjjjjjjj

[@lilysharp4080]

These comments make me feel 108292x better, thank you all. We'll make it through this.

[@Anmol2323deep]

Yes😭

[@ElMundoDeSam95]

Sadly losing a good friend is like a normal phase of life and it helps you grow and shift your life

[@ando1135]

I cried. I’m experiencing a different kind of death. The death of a friendship...one that I don’t think i can make amends to because then friend in question made it clear he didn’t want to continue with this friendship. It hurts so much, I find myself in this same position yet again for what feels like the 100th time. My inner demons, my insecurities, my anxieties and unrealistic expectations were what led this person to grow tired of me. I cared about him but I couldn’t outrun the negative thoughts nor contain them and analyze them. It caused the death of this once great friendship. I miss the stuff we did, the places we went, the plans we had. It’s all over now and I’m having a hard time accepting it and moving on. If I could erase time, I would do it in a heartbeat if only to keep his friendship...id do anything to get his friendship back but the chances of it happening are close to none. I damaged it and I wish we could still laugh together.

[@eisenheim46]

I am in the same position. After the dust has cleared I could see the damage I'd done. Now I'm on the path of self forgiveness and to do good for others.

[@ando1135]

@@eisenheim46 good luck, sry ur going through it too

[@xMari2130]

Going through the same thing. Losing not only 1, but 2 friends. It hurts so much. I'm already going through a lot

[@rollox1519]

@@xMari2130 same i lost 6 friends and now I only have 1 left who's excluding me and ignoring me

[@allygrace7107]

I think you just read my thoughts...I treated a few girls in my friend group terribly bc it was the first time I had had really friends and I had come from a toxic friend group that I’d been with for my entire life and I easily sunk into my old habits. They all left me, even after I apologized and was trying to make it up to all my friends but I was too late and time and patience ran out and now all I can think ab is how I would’ve changed things in the past? Any tips on how to move on, forgive yourself and forge ahead? I’m so alone right now and I feel so miserable all the time. All I want is my friends back but I know that will never happen.

[@nehaarshad2666]

I still haven't lost them. But it's not the same anymore for me.

[@whocaresifyouexist1374]

As i was watching this video i got a bunch of calls from my ex - friend who had ghosted me for months now for no reason(Literally). I didn't pick up , i am proud of myself that i am starting to get strong enough to know my worth and to not try to find my happiness in other people.I cant ell you how proud i am of myself. Alhamdullilah.

[@HaitamBakkali]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[@tonygareth221]

I lost a lot of friends, or what I thought were friends, and it does bother me. I must have been a horrible person to be around for a while and I’m still having troubles but I realize that I need to watch what I say and do. However, I’m angry that these people would give up on me and now I don’t even want them back because I can’t forgive them for giving up on me when I’d never give up on them. I have dreams sometimes about losing them, it sucks, but if it can’t be the way it used to be then I’m not sure I want it. I feel like I should at least apologize to them and ask exactly why they stopped being a friend but I don’t even know if I can do that

[@bereal2900]

You wrote what has been in my mind and heart. My "friend" of 37 years left me without even asking for clarifications or explanations. Now, reevaluating all my relationships.

[@tonygareth221]

Be Real Maybe you can be bigger than me and initiate a conversation with them

[@nksingh10]

We r suffering from the same problem but i have decided to stop making them sad because of me and now i m trying to stay alone because ik they are tired of my mistakes although they promised to stay forever but truth is dark...all the best for ur life lessons hope u make it through this

[@Coda_Shorts]

Exact same thing happened to me

[@bigchillin5341]

Ive pushed people away and it's a terrible feeling . All you can do is just learn from your mistakes. Sucks but it is what it is .

[@ayanyusuf4913]

All my Bestfriend just replaced me and forget me.

[@sergioalcaraz7130]

Move on man, same thing is happening to me and I'm learning things about myself that never before I have seen

[@Badboyifier]

the best recipe for a new life

[@jaelyn8725]

I am dealing with the same thing right now, and it is incredibly difficult. Good luck with everything.

[@kiedonmccomb3831]

I think I just lost my best friend and it hurts I just don’t know what to do

[@lcther4556]

@@kiedonmccomb3831 same Just 2 hours ago a good friend just told me that he didnt want to be my friend anymore

[@veggieburgerr01]

I recently texted a friend I hadn’t spoken to in months and after a short conversation I realised everything was different and nothing would be the same anymore. I realised I lost a friend and I had to be okay with losing friends and drifting apart. Appreciate the video, keep up the good work 💯

[@funfings842]

Mood

[@ZTheLastViking]

I can count my friends on half a finger and even that is about to expire. Sometimes you fall into a hole you don't see yourself getting out of and it looks like I'm deep down this time

[@ZTheLastViking]

@Hailey Lokken That sucks. Often we see situations too dramatic tho a major disagreement or lack of contact doesn't mean it's gonna be like that forever. Even if we happen to be completely alone there's still millions of possible friends out there. Just think back to your problems a year ago and how many of those you still care about or even remember. Things seem way more devastating right in front of you then they turn out 90% of the time. Gotta keep it moving and make the best of it. Sorry for the long text good luck to you Hailey

[@tonygareth221]

The Man Himself Baby steps . Get a little better each day. Stay positive and realize how you got there

[@ZTheLastViking]

@@tonygareth221 Thanks man I turned things around completely over the months. Being fairly anonymous on KZbin people can talk about things they keep hidden in real life. As bad as the internet can be I love that part of it

[@Katie-t1b]

@@ZTheLastViking how did you turn things around?

[@ZTheLastViking]

@@Katie-t1b The lockdown gave me the time off I needed to deal with some mental health issues and after a while I started working out again. As soon as I felt better I made sure to always say yes when someone wants to meet up in times where you are allowed to at least. I don't recommend it but smoking weed resolved my sleeping issues and that's why I was able to get better in the first place cause insomnia can ruin everything. I was in a very bad shape physically at that time because of it now I'm in my best shape I'd say

[@willthepill6750]

Thank you guys so much for being here in this comment section. My recent group of friends just stopped taking to me. I asked if I was still in the friend group and one of them said “not to hurt your feelings but no.” Then I asked why, and after a long pause, she said, “I don’t know.” I’m heartbroken but these comments are making me feel better.

[@rarechip]

Lost all of my friends too. I was in a friend group of 5 and slowly they didn’t want to hang out with me and were hanging out with my ex. They act like nothings wrong with it but I need to step away from them

[@heaven7360]

I often wonder why the heck find people we really like and even grow to love...only to get separated from them, especially when we are shunned, abandoned. UGH. I wonder if it's just being way too sentimental? Also, it's not being with others that gives us worth. I am assuming, it's our morality, our being kind to people and being as compassionate as we can. That seems to be what matters most.

[@vinar4483]

I lost my friends who I imagined being part of my life till the end, they threw me out of their life so easily that it hurts very badly. It’s been 9 months now since the incident happened I still get bouts of anger every other day for what they have done but I am somewhere glad this happened as well because afterwards I started learning kickboxing swimming and dancing. I started meeting new people and they are happy to see me and talk positive about me like I make them laugh n all. Sometimes giving yourself time to heal does help but moving on from them is the best thing you would ever do. FYI i used to smoke one pack everyday before that episode but after it I went cold turkey and haven’t touched a bud in 9 months. I got six packs abs and attention from girls which boosted my self confidence a lot.

[@Anna_Maria_1993]

Hello! That’s the same thing that happened to me. I really leaned on God at that time and that was really helpful for me to let go of the hate and the anger. It’s so hard and so painful but you’ll be happier in the long run. 🥰

[@vinar4483]

@@Anna_Maria_1993 Josh, it's been a year since I wrote it, time flew damn quickly. Thank you for your kind words. It's true what you said. I am at much better place without them. Infact I had one of them approach me three months back and politely said to him I have no interest talking about it and I have moved on. Even after two years i have episodes or bouts of anger, I tend to talk to myself imagining explaining them how they were wrong and misunderstood and how they treated me n all. I know it will fade away with time. I am working towards a better future for myself and people in it.

[@shathaalloush3280]

6:18 ❤️ “I started withdrawing from people, away from friends, community and family. but the more I withdrew, the more I was exploring, and the more I learned about nature the more I was learning about myself” -Tyler Dunning

[@PenCapsandBandAids]

I just let go of my best friend of fifteen years, because the communication was lacking on her part. She had some major resentment and jealousy for my successes while simultaneously thinking that I was trying to run her life and judge her decisions. All these emotions, but absolute silence. She pretended to be fine and apathetic to me, and I just thought she needed space. I was never able to repair the damage she perceived being done to her, because I never knew about it. This type of letting go is so painful, but it will get better. The hurtful things she said when lashing out will fade into nothingness, and I will continue to grow. These comments are so great.

[@krushamae]

It’s 3:21 am and I’m sobbing about this story wow

[@axk3l]

Don't suffer and don't let it get to you. Find new friends who are not fake. It's just there loss, what I did was hanging out with my family more and just thought of postitve things and just watch videos that make you forget about that person. Like you DON'T need those fake friends. You just need to let go and just live your life and not let anyone get to you. Life is short and you just have to live your life!!! 😀😁😊

[@funfings842]

Thank u, really needed that xx

[@tarikay93]

Perhaps the best way to go about it would be to know your own worth and decide whether those friends add something of value to your life? At the end of the day, it's not what defines you. You don't need people who don't need you.

[@neffada]

This is what I needed

[@jazargoalq785]

What if I am that persons only friend

[@avayehvasch7991]

I'm the one who is ending the friendship, because it hurt being in a confusing place with this person, but it still hurts me to let it go.

[@piyushudhao597]

same is happening w me right now. She has been my bestfriend for 3 years, and a few months ago i started getting feelings for her. It was like, i have never met anyone like her before. Our vibes matched, personalities matched, everything was so good. I told her about my feelings on new years eve, but she doesnt feel the same way about me. Which is okay, everyone is entitled to have their own feelings. But it hurts, nonetheless. She insists that this changes nothing between us, but i wonder. Everytime i see her messages, i get reminded of my feelings, and the pain. Now i dont know what i should do. Should i cut ties with her and experience horrible pain of losing a bestfriend, or try moving on while still being bestfriends? idk

[@briansilva6857]

@@piyushudhao597 what did you end up doing? I've been best friends with this girl for a total of 6 years, at one point I let go of her because I couldn't be friends with someone I'm in love with and they didn't love me the same way back. Went a few years without her and she found me again, convinced me to be friends with her again. It's been a few months and I'm now remembering why I left in the first place. She makes it more confusing when she does romantic things with me, and even on occasion hooks up with me and somehow still only sees me as a friend. I want to know what you ended up doing seeing as how it's been about 7 months since you commented

[@summerskull9379]

Thanks Brittney... for being the first of our friend group to not invite me to your birthday party, even though I invited you to all of mine. Thanks Sydney... for ignoring my cries for help when I felt suicidal, even though your supposed to be a licensed therapist...

[@FutureCommentary1]

Hey internet stranger. Are you doing better? I am reading this one year after you wrote.

[@HaitamBakkali]

I dearly hope you are well , U CAN BE FINE , YOU ARE Worthy of THE BEST THAT EVER EXISTED ❤️

[@hunterrathgeber1284]

I just lost my best friend 2 days ago he committed suicide and I have been broke and balling ever since

[@IKARIANOFFICIAL]

@Hunter Rathgeber - Wow, I'm so sorry to hear of that. Even though it was a month ago you left this comment, I hope you are doing a bit better now with the sadness. Hang in there and try to keep yourself busy and goal oriented as much as you can. That must be very hard though.

[@olivia2172]

I’m so sorry that happened to you

[@bellabayss]

it’s going to be ok, just please keep going

[@kzza8907]

Everything will be okay in due time just keep pushing and dont let life knock you

[@ariefarief4808]

How are you Hunter? Sorry for your loss. Here if you need a friend

[@GabeCoolwater]

My best friend suddenly changed his personality, after long years of deep true friendship... I always supported him, was always there for him... but he basically turned his back on me. He texts me sometimes... whenever he needs a favor. That's what I am for him now: an errand boy. In situations like this, death seems to be more kind...

[@HaitamBakkali]

Do not feel obligated to be kind to someone who is CLEARLY , doesn’t see u beyond that , if it is not reciprocated then it should be OVER , be firm ! And cut ties with them ASAP

[@jreverie7018]

Losing friends sucks man. I'm a 26 year old guy and I can hardly function due to such bad... anxiety? I don't know what to call it. My gut just immediately goes mental after I think about two best friends I thought of as brothers I recently lost (not through death, but due to one not liking that I was skeptical about a conspiracy called Qanon, the other one followed suit as he was his brother). This sounds odd but this may be one of the hardest losses I've ever experienced, and I lost an eye at the age of 16 and all sorts. I have no friends anymore, no partner, I don't date, I live alone too. I just can't seem to allow someone the power to destroy me. How do you ever bother with close friends again when there's a chance the next day they'll act as if you never existed?

[@frfu4999]

So sad people can lose friends now over politics

[@halvardwidere8084]

It’s your sense of self esteem or self worth. Finally, we all face the fact that everyone has their flaws, weaknesses and embarrassing moments. Your value doesn’t depend on your successes. The people who ignore you are no better than you, just because they ignore you. In fact, they are not better than you at all - or worse. Being super popular is empty and worthless. You can have everyone love you and still feel worthless. Many top models and celebrities become drug addicts. It doesn’t add anything to you to just feel popular or make people happy. Your success and wealth come from accepting yourself. Once you accept yourself and love yourself, the rest will come. And perhaps you’ll find some sense of meaning in this empty existence. At least you’re there now, thinking about it. And being isolated and depressed could be an indicator that you’re talented and valuable - hence your troubles with meaning. Best of luck

[@Killertiller01]

@@halvardwidere8084 Thanks for this.

[@Killertiller01]

Stay strong friend.

[@tee3686]

I can relate

[@lyfeboat9047]

Going into highschool I lost my best friend who had been ignoring me, my other best friend who I thought would always stay with me, all my friends because we are in none of the same classes, and a few of my good friends because they went to a different school. There r so many ppl I miss.

[@comradejosephstalin6886]

My friend, it only gets worse in college.... Then again, it's a fresh start, high school. Think of it as a free ticket to define who you are now that not many people know you as a person, I hope that helps, cheers :)

[@beanhead7632]

I forgot to add this, but “Ella”, who I mentioned earlier, when the group was still intact (together), she would always say that when we grew up, we could move into a house and live together. Sadly, we go to separate high schools now, and the chances are literally past the floor...

[@ewgoaway5035]

my best friend left me for the “popular” girl.

[@lyfeboat9047]

DailyLifezz my best friend left me for the entire “popular group”

[@flockstep]

Not a best friend but a friend in our group of 7 since like 3rd grade joined the popular group and doesn't even want to associate with us anymore and blocked most of us.

[@nashparbhu]

do you have a new best friend now

[@ewgoaway5035]

@@nashparbhu nope:/ learning to love myself tho :)

[@imtiredhelpme7538]

Same dude

[@DarknessIsThePath]

This is still loneliness masqueraded as accepting the new conditions in life. If humans actually cared, none of us would feel alone.

[@heaven7360]

what other alternative do we have? Accepting and letting go; just being alone in a bubble of happiness not having to have someone special or a wonderful family...might be nice, but it's just not gonna happen..with me anyway. I must agree it feels like people are so distant and self serving. These things aren't really very attractive or loving in a human being. I would rather have qualities of compassion and kindness and respect people ... as long as people aren't destructive anyway.

[@williamshakespeare3167]

Thanks for the words- i had to leave my school... i had to leave my friends- i had to leave everything behind... on the outside i dont show any feelings, but on the inside im crying inside... its so heartbreaking for you to leave something- i know how it feels like and this is my second time- ur words made me alive and made me never forget- the joy and splendor of my old school- thank you so much

[@AntsPants_]

One of the worst feelings in the world, is watching your friend group fall apart😔

[@mymixedbiscuit9159]

Elaborate?

[@hex_val30]

My best friend hates me for no reason and doesn't talk anymore I've been depressed ever since and no videos about fixing these is helping

[@JohnDavis-bp6gv]

@@hex_val30 I know ur pain, I looked up this type of video because my whole friend group is excluding me. What I want to know the most is why is this happening

[@hex_val30]

@@JohnDavis-bp6gv part of life tbh I decided I'm gunna let it go I'm starting a new part of life 🙂

[@elphie2390]

Today all of my main friends got mad at me and left my life at the same time. Then they talk bad stuff about me behind my back. I feel very betrayed and sad.

[@red-blue745]

How are you know ?

[@Marciusha]

The same

[@steelethescene]

I am starting to wonder if people i thought were my friends were only just friendly acquaintances. I do know one thing: when the chips are down, people disappear. It seems that friendship is exclusively for pleasure and it doesn't involve comfort or support. I haven't been so alone in a long time. I don't belong anywhere and it hurts so bad ...

[@gihownp]

i kept on holding to friendships that have no good for me. for few years, ive always been mistreated but i tend to keep it to myself because i think maybe its my attitude but i just cant find why. i was always being a left out, those non-stop ignoring.. i just cant take it. ive always be the one to light up the moment but maybe thats the reason why they hate me. i talked to my best friend about it and yes she helped me to get thru this but one day we were not on the same page but i tried to understand her. not to long after that - shes not up to any of my drama anymore. its not the fact that shes done with me but whats bothering me is, she sounded as if im making drama for attention. since then, i stopped. i made the biggest decision in my life where i cut out my friends including my best friend because i just cant take it anymore. after all these years, maybe everyone thought of me as a person who made up drama for attention. sad.

[@Cosmogirl014]

it sounds like I wrote this...same here.

[@mangu7829]

I don't know what is happening. I don't do anything to cause problems but just doesn't know how but something goes wrong

[@Mohsin-hu2pk]

wtf you are in my mind or whatt...how do u know this much about mee :'(((

[@davisdeguzman4730]

Currently in the same spot here

[@inbloom2300]

Currently in the process of doing this, it is hard but I should've done this a long time ago, how did it work out for you?

[@hugolarsson2686]

After starting at a new school a year ago I almost lost contact with my old friendgroup. In my new school I got new friends but suddenly something happened, they didn’t invite me to do anything over the summer and now I feel like they don’t even care about me. Right now I’m feeling so alone and I feel like there’s no one to talk to

[@nashparbhu]

is everything better now

[@hugolarsson2686]

@@nashparbhu yeah everything worked out, thanks for asking!

[@oshearaspberryjammakingind8752]

Ye same thing happened to me but I made friends in my village not in school if u play on play station I’d be down to play with u online

[@Rex-mj1qb]

I’ve just lost my best friend since I was 2, and he’s moved away. It’s been so much fun with him, and now I’m not seeing him again

[@charlesle4332]

Doggo playz I am sincerely sorry. I completely understand how you feel because I lost a childhood friend too. He would come over and we would play together. I feel like I was a bad friend to him. I lost touch with him years ago. My biggest regret is that I wish I were a better friend to him and kept in touch with him.

[@txshiroo._]

I feel like my best friends don’t talk to me anymore or they left/abandoned me, they literally act like I don’t even exist. That’s been happening since Tuesday.

[@risenwaters5806]

hey, how’s it going??

[@txshiroo._]

@@risenwaters5806 oh yeah I’m in high school now but so far I’ve made some acquaintances

[@m4z805]

Bro Kakyoin. :(

[@flockstep]

I haven't lost any really really good friends yet, but I'm actually terrified of what would happen because I'm basically only friends with that group, and they're basically the only people I really feel comfortable around lately even more than my family.

[@suchetadasgupta5299]

I see you. I hear you. I recognise your sorrow. And I love you. Baba, Dr Santimoy Dasgupta (June 16, 1939-March 28, 2018)

[@Unhandyreal]

my friend moved away today this is depresso espresso he used to say that

[@Samizsm23]

That's saddo

[@ZTheLastViking]

That's so saddo macchiato

[@lincolnehret]

@@ZTheLastViking bro

[@programclu1]

How are you doing now? My friend just moved away and I feel horrible.

[@lizatukunda]

This is so deep. I am from Uganda and this incident as dark as it was led me to look up who Nate was, this one man who was visiting our beautiful country and was hurt. After all this time, i find a friend of Nate, a story of a special human being i never met but was always curious about. Tyler i hope peace has found you as amazingly as this story found me.

[@sirjamieroach]

Beautiful job of bringing the condensed goods of such a journey. Thank you for distilling such a powerful message from your bold journey inward and outward. I recently finished "A Field Guide to Losing Your Friends" and loved every chapter. Thank you.

[@alyssaray1111]

Thank you for this, I recently lost a very close friend to suicide and have not been able to cope. Hopefully this will help me find peace.

[@nasirulrich2148]

for the last 5 years ive never had any freinds except one hes always been there for me always the one person i could really talk to i was at his house every saturday this was the only thing that kept me going for the week. but since covid I havent been able to go there anymore that itself wasn't to bad you know we kept in touch talking regularly but one day it just changed we just stopped talking and every day i wanted to say something but somehow i couldn't bring myself to say anything untill yesterday when i eventually decided to get back in touch only to learn that he moved hallfway across the country. I dont know what to do ive never felt like this before ive never had a person like him he was one of the only people who made me happy. im sorry I really just needed to say this.

[@milajunita7873]

Me and my best friend have known each other for 6 years, we met in middle school, she's my travel partner and my top mind if i wanna do something. The last time we hang out were on 15th december 2020, that was one of the memorable day in my life and I'm so exicted to create another story with her in 2021. But all of sudden, she ignored my text on the next day. I get no explanation or even an answer. What make me sad is not because the text, its because I finally realize that i should end the relationship with someone who I never think about. And now I lost confidance to trust anyone.

[@bolivarmacedo8335]

That's rough buddy :(

[@theo._1522]

Hey! Sorry to hear that... Isn't it something that could be repaired?

[@milajunita7873]

@@theo._1522 hi, I was so desprate at that time but luckly last month she came to me and explain what really happend in her life, I feel so relived knowing that we are still okay, and yes you right it is something that me and her could repair :). Its all about communication and trust each other

[@theo._1522]

@@milajunita7873 the truth always comes to light at some point! Although it's subjective...I'm happy you found eachother again.

[@milajunita7873]

@@theo._1522 yes, thank you theooo . I hope you always surround with happines 🥰

[@marimartinsx4874]

Because eternity is implanted in each of our hearts, it's difficult to accept that a friendship we found so dear has ended for good for whatever reason was involved. The hardest thing is when we lack closure and we're left with so many questions. Yet to love is to lose as well and it's easier to accept loss of any kind when we start with the end in mind. You don't need people who don't need you. You cannot keep yourself dormant to germinate others who overlook your own potential to grow and be better. It's okay for friendships not to work. We may have left a part of ourselves to these people but we have the lot of ourselves to cherish and care for so that we may be better for the ones that are yet to be part us in the promising future

[@hallowwoods]

Tyler never fails to get me right in the feels.

[@krembert]

I had the best time of my life with some online friends. I tried to contact them today. They haven’t been online in over a year. I hope they see my messages and respond. I hope they are still alive. One of them had cancer. I don’t know if the cancer therapy worked or he passed away. Please still be alive.

[@InvertedBread]

Im praying for you bro

[@ffgimy8641]

I feel comfortable & safe after reading the comments, at least a lot of people are dealing with what I'm dealing with.

[@-Madelief-]

Thank you Tyler, I am deeply grateful that you have shared so honestly with deep compassion for yourself, what people around the world experience in different intensities. Your personal life story touched me with her depth and humility. May life shower you with her blessings.

[@bl4ckout509]

Every time I think I have a real friend they just leave

[@epicfacelegend]

You ok?

[@gelaiatienza4718]

I’m here because my friends left me. Like I was nothing. Like I am not existing anymore. I feel so betrayed right now and I couldn’t stop crying. I just treasure them so much and they are my only friends but now I got no one else anymore. Why is this so unfair?

[@lilwdog]

I just found Tyler through his article “Literary Lessons Learned from Being a Professional Wrestler” because I’m an aspiring pro-wrestler, I wanted to see if he had more articles on the matter, then I came across this video thinking he would be talking about losing friends because of the business, although it wasn’t what I wanted or expected to hear I think I needed to hear this because he had some gems in his talk. Thanks Tyler.

[@f4irygirlie780]

My best friend stopped talking to me right after I told her I was suffering from depression

[@dianakan4060]

That was not a friend sis

[@sufisuf1975]

It depends...did you ask for her help and did you try to talk to her about it?because some people with depression want to solve it themselves and don’t talk about it with their friends and then their friends are left with a depressed negative friend that doesn’t even talk about it.it’s not your fault you’re depressed i hope you find a friend that you can talk to and connect to.💜

[@ararebirdable]

That is ableism. So sorry to hear

[@DBDYAKU]

@ivan kicker that harsh atleast you can help him by making his day better not leave him just like that especially a good friend

[@lincolnehret]

@ivan kicker let me guess, you are that “friend?”

[@CaizaMcswift23]

My whole friend group left me when I stood up for myself and after trying to explain a traumatic experience to them. When I told them what I was going through and how they were treating they called me a p**sy

[@Stopsuffering4all]

I connected with you at the heart level. Thank you for showing up and sharing authentically. You are a very gifted young man and you have great wisdom ❤️

[@pogglethelesser4688]

This may make me seem like a wimp, but I searched for this because I lost a fish who was my friend, his or her name was Oliver. He or she died and I miss Oliver already, I loved Oliver, and I am devastated. I just want to open up somewhere.

[@zero_gaming4514]

My friends just abandoned me and I feel like I’m alone with no one

[@pogglethelesser4688]

@@zero_gaming4514 I do not know how to respond to that. It gets better.

[@android584]

A tough situation is truly learning to be happy in my own company rather than needing other people to alleviate my loneliness and isolation. I've found it hard to connect with others so learning to be happy in my own company seems like it would put me in a better position than needing people as a distraction and suffering due to not having any.

[@katielest7529]

I found this video after multiple tragedies happened in my life within a few months. It’s been one year and I’m watching this video around the same time I found it last year, and it still calms me.

[@liancemusic]

This is so incredibly beautiful and real. Thanks for these important words.

[@thecrazyalbanio0z]

Liance

[@SakaraskiHD]

I still haven’t lost my friend, I told her how I feel that it feels like we’re drifting apart and I want things to be like the old times and somehow it made it worse, lately she won’t even spend time with me, and I’ve been trying so hard for the past 2 weeks to keep her in my life, it’s so draining.. I can’t sleep some nights and I cry everyday. We live in different countries and I rescheduled my sleeps just so we can talk more but even that is not working. I feel like giving up, no matter how much I love her, it’s just too much..

[@ix4564]

I say leave her be, she's not worth it ;)

[@trashbasket11]

Not everyone is meant to be in your life together it doesn't mean either of you is toxic or a bad friend you've just finished your journey together and it's time to go on your own paths. You haven't met everyone who's going to love you.

[@dithdian4597]

I have the hurting times when a friend flips all the story to save her life-being blamed as a person who brought up the issues (which are real issues) just because I refused to drink with her. And they are trying to make fun of me. I help her life and hide it all. But it burns me inside. I'm learning the art of being alone. The keywords bring me here

[@ytheltabigue3344]

I'm introvert so I only have fee friends and I have been friends with them since highschool. It just started with a miscommunication and everyday since then, I know things were no longer the same. Shady quotes were posted and I know it's for me. I don't know If I should continue being friends with them because as of now, they means everything to me and it really hurts me.

[@naveenwilson-moola5570]

My friend and former best friend of over three years ended our friendship when I called her out for being rude to someone I love. She didn't even respond, treated me like I never existed and talked about me being my back and ruined my friendships with mutual friends. This was all about two weeks after the exact same thing happened except worse as an entire friend group of mine had been pretending to be my friends and were bullying me for months because of someone who was supposed to care about me, manipulating them into turning against me. When this happened I went to the person who would inevitably abandon me and she gave me all these reassurances that she loved me, cared about me and would never abandon me like my friends before. Two weeks later she did exactly that for the reason I mentioned and took all my other friends with her. Im more confused than anything, she was like a sister to me and she made me feel like she cared about me the same way I cared for her, when in reality, I was and am nothing to her.

[@lithro0]

I lost my friend group due to just me venting and talking about my problems.. we had an argument and i decided to end the friendship without thinking before what i said. It happened online on Discord so i blocked the friends that hurt me and removed friends the ones that didn't.. i don't know if i regret that because they were being aggresive to me when i was venting. I haven't cried so much in my life like i have now.

[@KajalSingh-pd8nh]

My friends were always ignoring me, kept on blocking unblocking me I used to feel very hurt but never confronted , but one day I said it's enough and I had a big fight with two of them and they made others block me too and I ended up with no friends. However I know I am going to miss them But cutting toxicity from your life might hurt for a while but it will all worth at last. I hope I will make new friends in future,❤️ life must move on

[@mmchipoperwa]

Is it weird? I'm the one who has shunned all my friends and i have no idea why. Now im very lonely

[@aj402]

Everyone loses friends for different reasons. It helps me to make a list of all the positive gains I made as a result of knowing past friends. My wife and I lived in Orlando where we had many great friends. It was going to be our forever city then suddenly we had to move to a depressed small town in the frigid northeast. (Family emergency) I finally made new really wonderful friends there but after eight long hard winters this southern boy had to move south again. I was just coming out of opiate addiction in Florida and those friends literally saved my life by teaching me to live clean. Up north I met some extremely hard working folks at my gym. I learned discipline which I needed to recover physically from two brain surgeries that along with the pain meds wrecked my health. The list is much longer but I’m grateful for having known them even though losing them was hard. It’s hard but try to focus on what you’ve gained also instead of only the loss.

[@davidrichards6718]

getting to that stage at 56 years old, well said, well explained

[@oceanguy1249]

Hey man, it's gonna be alright.

[@kaiserkonig981]

"Seasons don't fear the reaper Nor do the wind, the sun or the rain, we can be like they are"

[@M1DA5_]

“Come on baby, don’t fear the reaper.” (Nice Altyn, btw)

[@lincolnehret]

i feel like it’s so much harder as an introvert, i only have a few close friends and i just lost one of my best, says “it’s not you it’s me!!” but i know. he made up excuses about being busy and his computer being broken so we can’t play video game together. i wish he would’ve been honest, i would’ve been like “it’s okay, i understand” but instead he lied and i’m angry at him. *I* had to tell him that he’s allowed to say he doesn’t want to be friends, not him. and now, i don’t even want him back because he lied about it. i’m actually kind of glad it’s over by the end of writing this comment, it made me realize that he was never a great friend. he made fun of me. i told him i forgave him. i shoudlnt have. i would’ve escaped this pain but i was desperate so i let him back. i’m so glad i have a few other great friends that i know are so much better than him.

[@sheilasurgeoner5784]

Thank you so much. A very healing talk for my losses.

[@ElMundoDeSam95]

In the case of male friendships (Pride,ego,women,and money) are the causes that destroys male frisndships

[@antinoofromgreece6560]

My bestest friend is very selfish in the last few months, he was weird and he told me to be away, I never imagined something like that between us because he was my single and closest friend and he swore be with me during my whole life we've done many plans but not it's all over. Craziest thing that could happen, I'm trying to get over it. It hurts too much. Sorry for telling you that so randomly.

[@ElMundoDeSam95]

@@antinoofromgreece6560 no problem dude i lost a friend of years too and this has happened many times since i was a kid all my "friends" they wake up one day and ghost me i realizes that 95% of friendships will be over soon or later and basically we are destined to be alone because people are selfish by nature if they get a new job or girlfriend and suddenly you are of no use to them anymore.....cheer up!

[@finestsalad8515]

i’m late to this video but i guess its a safe haven to talk about friends. i know i shouldn’t cling my feelings and my emotions to a friend or another person, even if they’ve been friends for such a long time but i can’t help it. it happens anyways. and as time flows, i lost them. it was because i am so outdated. we don’t like the same things anymore and we are all grown up now. so it was inevitable that i would be replaced.

[@WhimsyLindsay]

My bestest friend ever was being very rude to me so I started ignoring her because it honestly made me feel so insecure and now that we don’t talk anymore I miss her I miss having friends and I feel like it was all my fault. I feel even more depressed than I did when I was friends with her but I feel like it’s too late now, she already has better friends now.

[@swatiduhan5566]

Just now my friendship ended with my bestestest friend who I thought would be with me whole my life. When your lover leaves you it hurts but when you friend leaves you it's a whole different kind of ache which can't be put into words. Hope noone face it in life and if they do, they get over it sooner

[@peakinsighters3530]

Yess most...

[@jeffg8213]

I wanna cry

[@yayblakeshow]

You all might check out the “8 signs of a toxic friendship” video. Gives a nice perspective on this issue. My heart goes out to anyone dealing with this. I have experienced this type of shunning from family and friends. It can be terrifying, like “what is wrong with me”. You can also try prayer if that is your thing. I am still figuring it out for sure. Thanks!

[@PinkYellowGreen2023]

You can always find new friends that want to stick around.

[@Lifeofpie13]

Haven't even watched the video yet, but this comment section made me feel belonged.. never related to a group of people than the ones down here.. they've just calmed down this hurricane of confusion and frustration inside my heart , I didn't even know was blowing up inside me..

[@vegastheboston6977]

Thank you.. My friends would start ignoring me so I would walk away and hope to forget..but no..it made me not want to be here anymore..They would talk about me behind my back or call me Swear words because they would misunderstand what I actually said. I hope anyone who is reading this and acts like this.Stop..and anyone else who is reading this and is one who this is happening to..I hope is gets better soon...have a great day.

[@auhavoc6149]

all my friends left me, i did all i could to make things right but they didnt want to hear me out, one person decided i should go so everyone did. They might spread rumors now so idk if i should just switch schools or stick it out, i now have no friends, no life, and no motivation

[@rodrigorangelgutierrez9028]

You'll be OK, you don't have to take it, and if you think you should switch, you probably should. It's easier, and you'll forget about them eventually. Still, I would recommend some introspection cause cutting you out happened for a reason, maybe you, or maybe not, but it's worth to ask yourself. I hope you're OK, and that you're aware that this will pass eventually. Try a completely new place cause it's hard to fit in with already-formed friend groups.

[@Sacabambaspis.]

You will make friends and keep going if you transfer, and if not you can keep going and make it out

[@cypresscosmo1303]

We both knew that we didn’t wanna leave eachother but due to unfortunate events I will not see them again and dispite being an online friend the daily relationship was still real even if I never acctually saw them

[@judibaboody]

I hate letting go off people so my friend group was always small but when they leave without telling what you did or where you went wrong or why they left it hurts more, especially when you expressed to them that they're all you got🥺

[@purpletigerluver5678]

Makes me feel a lot better about the end of an era of sorts for me. I’m having a hard time with advocating for my expectations while accepting the same type of friendship... if any out of someone who I thought was the pillar of my life... my forever friend but the more I think about it the more I think we are not meant to be. I’m trying to look for information on how to get closure and communicate all of this to my best friend ..... any videos or information is appreciated :)

[@heaven7360]

don't allow people to abuse you or to make yourself feel unworthy.

[@Volnut]

Around august of 2021, my best friend from Elementary blocked me and left me in shambles. Around a year later, about 3 months ago, my girlfriend of 6 years dumped me as she lost feelings a while ago. I withdrew from everything, even the "friends" who were/weren't there for me at the time of it going down. I moved away from our house, I couldn't bear to be there knowing that its over. She villainized me and essentially booted me from the group I introduced her to. Reading everyone's stories here, and it gives me hope. I am alone, no friends, no family, no girlfriend now, and no pets.. My life has been drastically different for the past 3 months. Growing up is scary, losing people is scary, especially for someone with a big a heart as mine, but I know things will eventually get better.

[@Justsurviving201]

Keep your head up my friend. Im in a similar situation myself and if you ever wanna talk about it, just reply to this comment

[@brawlerpinhead9649]

I feel like I'm a big burden to people. Like I'm always the one hitting my friends up asking them how there doing and planning things with them but yet they dont do the same to me. I even feel like that with my best friend, I'd hit her up but she never hits me up at all and when I hit her up she just gives me one word or short term answers and I immediately get the vibe that I'm bothering her or she dont wanna talk. Shell even not respond to me for hrs and I know shell be in her phone cause cmon who isnt these days and the text I'll get back after hrs will be just a one word answer like lol. Idk what to think anymore honestly I love her to death and all my other friends to but maybe I'm just to nice

[@erstellen7888]

look into codependent friendships, rn I'm trying to heal from one. Hope it helps!

[@tonygareth221]

Stop trying. You’ve made the effort and if you’re friend wanted to she would. Don’t stop caring necessarily but just move on. Sometimes it’s hard being alone, but sometimes it’s better.

[@tonygareth221]

Hailey Lokken Most people are self absorbed. Don’t take it personally. However, it could also be that someone may not want to spend time with you. If that’s the case then move on

[@ritwikdc2893]

Happens

[@horrortalesans3007]

yeah, same.

[@mC_DiDiDiDiDi]

I've lost most friends because I can't let go of past trauma and defensive behaviour has driven friends away. Now I am lonely, living in China, although I have a partner my mental troubles affects our relationship. People talk about how covid has affected their lives for the worst, I've been living what feels like isolation for a few years now. If I wasn't such a coward I would have ended this almost daily mental pain a long time ago, I used to think suicide was selfish, yet I now understand from the alternative perspective and how painful depression is. I'm sorry if I've brought anyone's mood down, I don't really know how to sustain connection with people.

[@casein.nitrate9870]

It hurts so much

[@servantofthelord8147]

Beautiful. I want to cry.

[@impurities____]

my friends have broken apart- and i feel selfish for crying about it, i have abandonment and trust issues and i just feel like i cant handle this burden anymore, i just feel horrible. ive not een met them but we've been together for a year and im not ready to let go. i feel like im a burden and my mom shouting at me ofr panic attacks etc. makes it even worse.

[@annaclaire7925]

My best friends cat fished a guy from my school as a joke and then said they were me ... they put me on a group call and told me everything like it was a big hilarious joke. I’m so afraid that everyone next year, my first year of high school, will think I’m some creep. I didn’t even do anything, what did I do to them to make them do this. I just needed to get all that out because I can’t anywhere else. I’m so done with these people so I guess I have lost my friends just not the same way this guy’s talking about. I just needed an outlet

[@rachelsadventures5297]

Befriend yourself don’t let your happiness depend on a human being who makes mistakes ☺️

[@israelvaldivia9789]

WoW, what an amazing speech, brought me to tears. Thank you for those profound words I’ll never forget.

[@TheCycloneTrooper]

I think even if people change or their thoughts and feelings about me might've changed, the best I can do is to imbibe the fact that I can't control them or their actions and decisions. And that my remembrance of them will always be of their best selves for I've no business carrying guilt or regret in a life that'll pass by in a blip. Thus good bye, dear friend or lover. May we find each other the same, either amidst the memories of the past or in the twilight of a better tomorrow. Farewell and fare forward.

[@vaibhavsrivastava8015]

Why is anyone not listening to this man?

[@user-pc5dk7gp4b]

My wife and I have been getting together with another couple for 3 years. We became very close friends. We would hang out once or twice a month. The last couple months they have been hanging out with other couples and kind of been distant. They tell us they are really busy which is fine but we invited them to my daughters birthday party since our daughter is good friends with their daughter and we go to all their kids birthdays. We got a text from them today which is 2 days before my daughters party and they say they have another engagement even though last week they said they were free. Maybe I’m overreacting but I feel hurt and distant from them.

[@Sacabambaspis.]

I lost my entire group of friends coming out of elementary school, we all said we would stay in contact but we haven’t talked in 2 years, but the only one I have left is a very toxic friend I can’t get rid of because he is a family friend, I have anxiety and never get any sleep, I need help but I’m afraid to ask for it. 😖 I’m only 12 as well. Keep persevering guys. Try to make it out of that deep pit we dig ourself into, you are going to be ok. Just try to make it out. I’ll say it again, you will be ok. 🙂

[@salimfendass1791]

I lost all my Friends i feel kinda bad 😑

[@litrallybonkerzluv1788]

Same,but ppl out grow each other . You need time cuz same happened to me and I was dumbed by 7 ppl💀

[@mangu7829]

But I feel terribly depressing

[@vaibhavsrivastava8015]

This speech is masterpiece a lesson for everyone

[@lynnemanning9553]

WOW, one of the most touching TED talks I've heard....thanks for your courage in your life and also giving this talk. 🙏🌟🤩 I love to be outside, hiking and walking with my dogs, it's the only place sometimes where I feel alive and at peace. Life is hard, and yes, death is a good thing, and we are suppose to die, it's our society that is twisted and backwards about death. It would be so much more enlightening and supportive, if we talked about death more and getting older, that would be very helpful. Let's share in the joy and pain of getting older and then the inevitable event of dying.....we should be more grateful of our lives in general, we have so much, and we need to celebrate often, because there will be an end. Enjoy each moment, live in the present as much as possible. ❤☯❤

[@thaurbanthinker543]

If my old friends didnt wanna be friends with me anymore i wouldnt get angry people out grow eachother as they choose to live different lifestyles go different paths it was good while it lasted

[@errrrm78]

Brilliant, poetic and profound. Love this.

[@BreannBree]

My best friend of 7 years text me saying we are not friends anymore. She said she has no respect for me anymore. I still don’t know what I did wrong. But now I have no one.

[@HoshPak]

I am sorry for your loss. I am embarrassed to admit I am currently on the exact opposite side, trying to make sense of my friends's behavior. I know him for 9 years but I recently reminded him a 2nd time that I see our friendship declining. I feel neglected but I can't blame him as he married, one year ago and probably found lots of other occupations. However, he still finds time to play video games and talk to his other friends who are having similar taste in games. He said we would work on it together, however that promise had been broken the very next day. I don't want to be the one constantly trying to initiate. I consider cutting him off for good but at the same time I feel guilty for thinking like that, in the first place. I am afraid to do him wrong by failing to see the bigger picture.

[@BreannBree]

@@HoshPak You and I are in a very similar situation. She got married and the same things happened to me that happened to you