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@tystin_gaming2 жыл бұрын
"The Sergeant Major talks to much"...i love how monotone that line was delivered but gut busting funny.
@dgeneeknapp31682 жыл бұрын
They all do.
@LordGanondorf. Жыл бұрын
This is accurate.
@865jones3 ай бұрын
Tell me you served without telling me you served 🤣
@josetheweirdo2 жыл бұрын
The talk with your NCO about his family issues is too relatable
@jessicamerriman23362 жыл бұрын
“There’s definitely a delay, but it has nothing to do with you peeing”. OMFG! Brings back memories! Lol 😂
@lonely_ghost98572 жыл бұрын
"this is my private time.." "Well... you're a Private and it's time" 🤣🤣
@zeroblue98842 жыл бұрын
i choked
@OCHOCINCO982 жыл бұрын
Read as soon as they said it lol
@joscar0622 жыл бұрын
Come on piss on this cup
@fenderstratADHD Жыл бұрын
Like potty training all over again! 😂
@CrimsonUltrafox2 жыл бұрын
This is 100% accurate...right down to the awkward poster of sexual assault prevention with a guy on it staring into your soul.
@TheCoyote8082 жыл бұрын
Sgt Graber - it's so relateable. Unfortunately what he is talking about is part of the reason why so many service members go through so many divorces. Sad, funny, and true. All at once.
@James-qn3wi2 жыл бұрын
Accurate asf. Too many privates are scared to death of the results, and not understanding that alcohol isn't illegal in the military.
@Gunslinger_Disciple2 жыл бұрын
And damn you...18 years out and I have the Army song stuck in my head now!!!
@RaiderOverBoss2 жыл бұрын
March along sing our song, with the Army of the FREE
@qazqa52 жыл бұрын
@@RaiderOverBoss count the brave, count the true, who have fought to victory
@battlemastergenkhan46222 жыл бұрын
I felt it when he said "The Sergeant Major talks too much" 🤣🤣
@nubiannlovely22042 жыл бұрын
They low key start to forget what they’re talking about mid lecture and start winging it until they remember what they’re talking about. Yet nobody got the ball or pussy to tell them that.
@evanmitchell15872 жыл бұрын
“You’re a private and it’s time.” That’s hilarious!!!!😂🤣😂🤣
@AC-vt4iw2 жыл бұрын
Love the talk about his wife… I felt that
@troooooper1002 жыл бұрын
stay home spouse has the nerve to talk about household chores
@venihernandez73492 жыл бұрын
Lol never had a problem, always walked to the urinal and dropped my trousers to my ankles and gave a show, cause mama ain't raise no cheater.
@wtf12311222 жыл бұрын
Same! I dropped a bare ass fart too!
@pinkzillerton86122 жыл бұрын
Same and my piss was so dirty it should have been glowing.
@stilawesome35862 жыл бұрын
My dad was an E8, when I hit my teens, I was pissing on command
@jessejones69952 жыл бұрын
I need advice
@greenwalltree4 ай бұрын
@@wtf1231122felt 😅
@Leadnap2 жыл бұрын
Legit had a UA and had to drop a deuce bad. You’ve never understood pressure like trying to relax and pee with some dude scoping your parts while trying to keep it clenched so you can give up your 30ml and then go use the stall. Fun tip (no pun) just start belting out row row row your boat, bonus if everyone else starts singing it too. Suddenly no one has stage fright.
@sez17422 жыл бұрын
You weren’t at Ft. Lewis, were you? 😜
@KlaustheViking2 жыл бұрын
Had the same scenario except I couldn’t hold my poop in and so I had to have the UA watch me drop a load and pee at the same time. Very uncomfortable lol
@MrJackal36042 жыл бұрын
I hated urinalysis. I would rather them take blood because I would drink so much damn water that I would piss every 15 minutes during the duty day.
@Willysmb442 жыл бұрын
Dear God, all of this is accurate. I usually never showed up for PT overly hydrated, so when I'd get tagged for UA it took forever to be good to go (literally). After a couple of times, I'd keep some Mountain dew in my office just for these mornings. Every now and then, I'd be the one doing the random numbers (one die to determine which position within the SSN to choose and a ten sided die for the specific number. So then, if it was mine, at least i could be ready to fill the cup. MAN, these are the things I don't miss about the military at all...
@imapayne2u1002 жыл бұрын
bro this is by FAR THE FUNNIEST ONE YOU GUYS HAVE PUT OUT. I have been called in to a test right after pissing and I felt this.
@brooklynman782 жыл бұрын
“ My urethra is a canyon,….there’s nothing I can’t fit “,…..🤣🤣🤣🤣
@brandonholloway85942 жыл бұрын
the "NOT IN MY ARMY" poster was perfect
@renerocha79222 жыл бұрын
🤣😂😅. I LOVE IT!!!!!!! 😅😂🤣 “ sergeant, don’t look at me!’ 🤣😂😅
@bhess12122 жыл бұрын
They always got us on PT day first thing. Like everyone didn't just piss before they had PT. It could take hours.
@RileyBassing2 жыл бұрын
"the sergeant major talks too much" lol can relate
@Gunslinger_Disciple2 жыл бұрын
"This is really hard" And the observer looks down
@justacountryboy23462 жыл бұрын
Followed by "Don't look like it from here." ROTFLMAO
@jessiehorne2 жыл бұрын
Get the doc with a catheter you be surprised how fast production comes
@dgeneeknapp31682 жыл бұрын
Can verify as an RN, that men INSTANTLY become able to pee if they hear the word "catheter". 😏
@jessiehorne2 жыл бұрын
@@dgeneeknapp3168 A lot of military personnel call their attached combat medics to the unit “doc” which is what I am referring to.
@dgeneeknapp31682 жыл бұрын
@@jessiehorne yes, I know. I was a n enlisted medic back in the 80s and then became an RN.
@purple1cole4 ай бұрын
Accurate. This is very relatable on so many levels
@Rex-ii2yz2 жыл бұрын
I could always finally be able to pee about 20 min before lunch. This is pure liquid gold!
@danielciurro47422 жыл бұрын
And that is how it is done. Work the system.
@CHRISXTR3M3GAMING2 жыл бұрын
"There's definitely a delay, but it has nothing to do with you peeing." "Yes Sargeant." Lmfao underrated lines of the week
@theentirecountryofflorida2 жыл бұрын
*Sergeant
@CHRISXTR3M3GAMING2 жыл бұрын
@@theentirecountryofflorida I think loedrag would really not know the difference lol
@a_mustache_of_great_repute2 жыл бұрын
To be fair, i give them as much trouble as possible when i get drug tested at work. Six years I've been drug tested every round of random drug tests. Six years I've come back clean. Now it's gonna take three to four hours every time.
@the_hispawaiian81562 жыл бұрын
"This is hard. Doesn't look it." 🤣🤣🤣
@Lucixir2 жыл бұрын
Love the outtakes, they always crack me up!
@Lucixir2 жыл бұрын
I'm not holding it for you private.... well I can try to arch it.... LOL
@cieragray91042 жыл бұрын
This is pure gold 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@dfunited12 жыл бұрын
Our CLS guys would use expiring IV bags on the guys who had trouble. No wasted IV, CLS guy gets his quarterly practice, and everyone gets home on time.
@blackdolphin86432 жыл бұрын
I was a piss tester during my last year in (lil over a year ago now) and as funny as this skit is, it's freaking accurate 😅 what really sucked was when people didn't show up, and we had to wait till the sun went down before we could just write them up as no show and leave
@stilawesome35862 жыл бұрын
My dad was an E8 when I was teenager and living on the base and he would have to test his guys, then come home late with extra cup and test strip followed by "oh... You think youre getting out of it?!?" Drug tests never went to waste at my dad's house lol
@blackdolphin86432 жыл бұрын
@@stilawesome3586 just know that he deffinately went out of his way to take that test home. Those things are serialized and tracked. He for sure pulled some strings to be able to that 😂
@Acheco2 жыл бұрын
Ohhhh so much memory's I remember getting yelled at for pissin hot and getting yelled at for laughing because I was on meds and I showed them before hand. Then I got yelled at some more and was dismissed.
@jacobcarter59232 жыл бұрын
You can tell they've been out awhile, they are way too nice
@Gunslinger_Disciple2 жыл бұрын
I feel attacked...and then when I finally did feel I had to go I end up with stage fright when being watched
@oplocktv10022 жыл бұрын
It be like that. Never gets easy 😂
@lKyOsUkEl2 жыл бұрын
"I had to pee Sgt, Sgt Maj talks too much........sorry Sgt" xD fuckin dead
@hypknowthismofo46042 жыл бұрын
Trying to piss with Meat Gazers eyeballing you is a task...second only .. to actually having to be the NCO eyeballing.
@andrewmathurin6842 жыл бұрын
I love your content man
@josephthecreator2 жыл бұрын
The perks of being an NCO!
@Baconnaga2 жыл бұрын
bro you're the GOAT, always some good ass content :)
@davidramirez84172 жыл бұрын
I use to tell my Joe's on a Friday " don't smoke weed ,weed stays in to long .......do coke or ecstasy tonight....because by Monday it'll be out of your system provided you don't do it on Saturday or Sunday "
@unboundjackal2 жыл бұрын
Back when I was in school our senior chief would tell us that if we did drugs to do those 2 if we had a 4 day, he was tired of going to DRB'S and Captain's masts every week
@-Jason-L2 жыл бұрын
We had zero notice. Never a warning. Aim High :)
@Rick_Sanchez_C137_4 ай бұрын
We had a guy do coke in the parking lot before coming into the armory for PT formation, found out there was a urinalysis and told the 1SG that they might as well just start his paperwork. lol
@fireman198412 жыл бұрын
I always make it weird. I ask them to take me to dinner first or buy me a drink. I also make eye contact with them if able to. Anything to make them weirded out.
@dahrou012 жыл бұрын
Omg, talk about bringing back memories...always two and so many with stage fright.
@colzaidikari2 жыл бұрын
DUDE, that happened to me once. I couldn't pee unless I had to poop, everytime I tried to piss a turtle kept pokin out. So the Meat Gazer had to watch me poop
@paulbaxter20072 жыл бұрын
This is spot on. This happened when I joined in the 90s. Glad to see it hasn't changed. Lol
@blcarcher69642 жыл бұрын
Oscar Mike golf It's truly one of the funniest videos thank you brothers I needed it I was having a shitty day but you made the rest of my night,🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@USMCDOGOFWAR12 жыл бұрын
This was one the funniest videos you guys have done. Freaking hilarious
@danielciurro47422 жыл бұрын
Ahh, the random piss test. A good way to get at least the morning off.
@daniilgerasimov8172 жыл бұрын
Omg it's soooo true. Especially considering I was always last one to pee. To the point my leadership eventually start telling me something like "hey we may or may not have pee test coming up, and your name may or may not be on it, so if I was you I would start drinking."
@Invictus_Veteran2 жыл бұрын
This is literally every urinalysis in the reserves lmao 🤣
@sez17422 жыл бұрын
Every month - here comes the UA!!
@battlemastergenkhan46222 жыл бұрын
100% accurate 😂
@NaturalStateDepths2 жыл бұрын
Big facts
@GHOST-zy3ji2 жыл бұрын
So fucking true hahaha 🤣
@Rick_Sanchez_C137_4 ай бұрын
Had a guy I’d worked with for a decade and a half get 1SG of the FSC and he made two giant changes in the company; all urinalysis would take place after final formation Sunday, all NCOs who pee become watchers. His entire time as 1SG no urinalysis took more than 45 minutes. 30 to 45 minutes later the urinalysis NCO would have the packages prepped and ready to go into the mail box and done!
@ericjohnson12892 жыл бұрын
NIGHTMARES!
@Browncoat-gc6nc2 жыл бұрын
I'm fucking crying ... so fucking accurate... all of it lmfao excuses from privates lmfao
@gabrielwilliams43552 жыл бұрын
Those family talks ,hilarious. Lol
@brent19752 жыл бұрын
After 26 years I could pee anytime and anywhere. People ask what I did in the military, pee on demand is my answer. Always gets the best looks
@rogersepeda2 жыл бұрын
This is my struggle every single time I do a UA .
@jordanjaneiro3542 жыл бұрын
I’m waiting in line rn for the whole company
@cupojo23182 жыл бұрын
God I've heard some of the funniest shit in the bathroom during urinalysis.
@Danielek732 жыл бұрын
This is pretty accurate dude
@TheGraffiti600rr2 жыл бұрын
Oh I laughed just the right amount at this... a ton... I laughed a ton.
@rh9062 жыл бұрын
Ahhh, urinalysis... the one day I am guaranteed to be hydrated in Texas. And constantly in the bathroom afterward.
@rodneyhorsley86012 жыл бұрын
My last unit we had a guy who just happened to have to shit every time there was a UA. The meat gazers, I mean NCOs argued who was the one to go be an observer because they knew what he was going to do lmao. Felt bad for the poor soul to had to sit there and watch the dude shit every time lmao!!
@kliegerk59702 жыл бұрын
I remember having to conduct these stupid things. We were told to intimidate the FNG's which really just made it worse, but funny as hell.
@garyfontenot27862 жыл бұрын
Give a sample, or I'll get a catheter and take a sample.
@robert37312 жыл бұрын
Damn I haven't laughed that hard in a long long time. So many memories from too many UAs.
@wb31912 жыл бұрын
Never fails, my first reaction to being woke up early was take a piss... Go to formation and get call for piss test.
@michaelharris25022 жыл бұрын
Accurate 🎯
@TraceyAllen2 жыл бұрын
I always pissed on the cup and immediately handed back to button up my trousers. Need 2 hands for the old button fly clammiest and our belt buckle always wanted to fall off.
@tribyte4813 Жыл бұрын
Lol this reminds me the first time I did a urinalysis with my company. I was 8 months pregnant and they didn't tell me until I got to the comp at 6 that I had to do an urinalysis. I had already gone. I didn't end going until 1030. 😂😂😂 I had drank so much water in those 4hrs I ended up over hydrated with a severe headache and my vision went all blurry. I thankfully threw up so I didn't have to go to the hospital and my baby is okay.
@madeyemoody38842 жыл бұрын
I remember this well. Just got to my company during basic. Waited 4 hours standing in formation since 0330 waiting on a god damn piss test.
@StandorFall132 жыл бұрын
Best one yet!!
@dustinmills59392 жыл бұрын
Omg...thar belly on him....lol. What happen bro
@alexanderanton2 жыл бұрын
The amount of relatable content in this video is intense. I never had trouble giving a sample. But I was stuck with a few POGs who could not give anything if their life depended on it. Ugh. It was like I was there.
@lukewarmwater64122 жыл бұрын
when I was in oakland for my physical in 1986, we were all standing ,in our skivvies, lined up with our cups full. the idiot behind me dropped his. and I got splashed from ankles to ass.... things you never forget.
@BluntSouthernBelle2 жыл бұрын
Wait, what were you at Ft. Ord in the Summer of '86?
@lukewarmwater64122 жыл бұрын
@@BluntSouthernBelle ft dix new jersey.
@iyaayas2 жыл бұрын
LOL! Oh! You're not supposed to use that, you're suppose to pee in this container. You can't even transfer it due to the plastic.
@animeuploads52892 жыл бұрын
Bro how do yall keep straight faces 😂
@jazzman.2 жыл бұрын
Good skit. I have dozens of piss day stories after 24 years. Also, Sgt. Graber needs to remove his Airforce gloves (hands in pocket).
@fireman198412 жыл бұрын
Air Force now allows hands in our pockets.
@jazzman.2 жыл бұрын
@@fireman19841 Hence the name partner.
@almohvn33 Жыл бұрын
The plastic document protector on the door, 10:40 slapped on top of another... document... EPICCCCCCCCC
@JayM-fd8bo6 ай бұрын
Lmao…..sent this to some of my army buddies. This is awesome
@robertspencer6085 Жыл бұрын
Bahahaha….oh the memories😂. I was transitioning to a special access program, NEVER identified for a random test, as soon as I was selected to the SAP, I was hit with three random test within 3 months, wouldn’t call it random, but the poor monitors must have thought we were crazy - just had fun with it.
@greenwalltree4 ай бұрын
Jumping jacks are entering the room
@JimmyOnDecc Жыл бұрын
He said, Guy! It is 1830, we have been waiting for u! LOL
@loganreiss8722 жыл бұрын
Why does this feel like flashbacks of the national guard
@agentp66214 ай бұрын
I had a Soldier who was a nervous pisser. He asked to have the faucet turned on. He gets pissed off and punches the wall and then power stomps the urinal. It cracked the urinal and it sprang a leak from the pipes. We had to report it and he got a counseling and a statement of charges. The commander suspected he might be on something but his tests came back negative.
@jpcia260 Жыл бұрын
I have seen these kind of faces before - after TDY to Amsterdam, lol! So of the best comedians are in the military - Hollywood hire these crazies!
@almohvn33 Жыл бұрын
This is off the chain!
@001jacksun652 жыл бұрын
Operation Golden Flow LOL one time on deployment to Key west had an E4 sneak apple juice into bathroom filled his cup and took it to the CO who was collecting the samples. Yelled I can't let you take this cause I know I am going to pop positive. then drank it. CO almost lost his cookies LOL. E4 was made to go to medical where he did pop positive for mary jane.
@JustAnotherArmyVet2 жыл бұрын
The MEDDAC at Ft Sill would have Staff Duty call the Soldiers on the UA list the night BEFORE and tell them they had a UA and instructed them to report to the company area the next morning. You were then authorized to walk around the entire bottom floor and we’re not contained at all, while waiting to pee. Another unit I was in would have people get called in for a UA and they could leave and go back to work. When they felt ready to pee, they had to report back. The ONLY stipulation was that they had to provide a sample NLT 1600. 🤣
@doughopkinsjr2 жыл бұрын
Jesus the memories of being called at 4 am telling me I'm going to be administrator and LT needs you here 10 minutes ago.
@maxrosenberg11672 жыл бұрын
Simple Drew could talk the wheels off a cop car XD HAPPY THANKSGIVING !!
@ChinchillaQueen2 жыл бұрын
You're either this or you learn to pee on command. I also can't wait for the IG complaint video
@crvsade38502 жыл бұрын
I'm in fucking stitches yall so funny
@brandonnodine6934 Жыл бұрын
I've unfortunately have had to deal with soldiers like this during UA. Some soldiers just take Stupid to a WHOLE New Level.
@officialmattsoupcampbell2 жыл бұрын
Love how Drew’s character keeps getting worst and worst every skit 😂
@jnorris8649 Жыл бұрын
I had one guy piss an interesting blue green hue. Told him to go see the doc, but he shrugged it off. Needless to say, he got pulled for a “random” blood draw.
@brianellinger66225 ай бұрын
just like that delta-8 stuff
@SRoddy872 жыл бұрын
So I think I might have been Drew's character when I was in. Not on purpose, but things I can't change now happened.
@armsofzeus Жыл бұрын
I just got my UPL cert. It's funny that one of the PVTs actually had a lot of true facts about pissing. Also, no you do not have to pee standing. It just has to be observed. But this is making me look even more forward to my first UA(insert sarcastic tone).
@paulbaxter20072 жыл бұрын
I just noticed the name Heispeed. Lol. I still say that and Ive been out since 2002.
@psychzach15882 жыл бұрын
I never was able to pee quickly. And this really do be what it's like.
@anikabunny272 жыл бұрын
This happened to me in AIT 😔 before we had pt, and they always said to use the latrine before pt So I had to drink a whole camel back and two water bottles.