Alien Covenant: The stupid is too much....The numerous problems!

After my review of Alien Covenant, I had time to think on it some more, and frankly, the viewer count of my review doesn't warrant this much effort, but sod it, i'd listed the problems I had with this movie, so suck it up.
It's more idiocy than I anticipated.
And wasn't I great at remembering all the character names? Er, no. I remembered about four if i'm honest and had to trawl IMDB for the rest as I simply didn't have a damned clue....... character development optional!

[@victorxxl]

In the next chapter ... David: Did you sleep well? Dr. Shaw: I had a stupid dream, in which you kill me and the engineers, create monsters, and meet a group of idiots. David: That is insane!

[@hmartinspliff]

*Dr. Shaw:* I had a stupid dream, in which you kill me and the engineers, create monsters, and meet a group of idiots. *David:* That is insane! ** David is the Dream Master!

[@olboe2008]

Dr. Shaw: But thats I could read in the script the next 4 pages David: Oh well lets do it then Dr. Shaw: Fine :)

[@mtgrabbitwizard1679]

written and directed by m.night shamlama dingdong

[@ericluriergo8251]

The Lancer Best. Comment. Ever.

[@rvl480van5]

Victor Chen: Brilliant idea! The writers can do a "it's all a dream" sequence in order to fix the continuity problems in Alien: Covenant and start fresh. That way Shaw is still alive and traveling with David to the Engineer planet and we can finally get Shaw's questions answered which was "Why did the Engineers want to destroy humanity?" and "Did the Engineers create the Xenomorphs in order to destroy mankind?". Or, we can scrap the whole prequel mess created by Sir Ridley Scott, fire him and bring on Neil Bloemkamp whose Alien vision I would really love to see based on his previous work in District 9 and with Oats Studios particularly the short film "Zygote" which has one of the most terrifying Alien creatures I've seen in a long time. I'd prefer the latter but the former would do just fine as well!

[@RJLbwb]

I think the biggest damning thing about the movie it's makes a big deal about robots and AIs, yet, they land all those people instead of sending something like drone to take a look around. Even just sending Walter by himself was saner since Walter wouldn't be a walking disease vector.

[@dazzlypants5909]

Yup, would make entirely too much sense to send Walter. But then again, it would mean scriptwriters would struggle to come up with plausible scenarios to kick shit off, so simply chose to not even try. All that money spent and they scrimped on the talent behind the script that is the glue that holds it all together......or not as the end result showed.

[@ToddTheTolerable]

The biggest problem that not a lot of people bring up is the crew's reaction to the infection. They have no idea what's causing it or who it's already affected, yet they still request the ship with the colonists aboard to come pick them up!! If I were part of an away team and there was an unknown disease, I'm sorry but we're all dead as far as we know and it's best for the colonist ship to just leave us behind. And sure enough Daniels and company get all the sleeping colonists killed trying to save themselves. What a bunch of selfish a-holes!

[@germanichammersmash6440]

ToddTheTolerable I think it would have been more interesting if Tennessee refused to go save them. I was thinking Tennessee is going to risk the lives of 2000 people to save 10 or 15 people? It made Tennessee look like an asshole.

[@muntu1221]

Germanic Hammer Smash Forget the numbers, it was his and their _job_ to die if that would save the colonists. It makes you wonder what training is like for this business.

[@SquierStrat72]

Shitty. The training must be really shitty. In Prometheus, we got a crew of highly trained scientists making rookie mistakes and totally lacking common sense. In Covenant, we got a group of highly trained colony supervisors making rookie mistakes and totally lacking common sense.

[@RaghibAbdulShakoor]

No doubt about it! Tennessee should have left Daniels and Company down there and continue with their mission

[@revanruler6404]

Exactly, they had no masks, no suits and no quarantine protocols, it's a wonder humans in this universe are still alive at all of they're all that fucking dumb

[@hyperionalziz6858]

I really hoped that they learned from stupid people mistakes in prometheus. And what they did? They made another movie with even stupider people. I cant bond with movie if caracters are stupid. I need them to be like they would in real life. In alien 1 & 2 they acted like You would in real life. Thats why it was so Great!

[@StorieGrubb]

i heard Scott had a script ready for covenant but then heard all the backlash Prometheus got so he changed the script to appease the fans. he failed. i totally agree with you about alien 1 and 2. you didn't so those folks going around trying to fucking pet an alien cobra.

[@kkarx]

They acted stupid even in Alien 1. They let the guy out of quarantine even though he had a huge alien parasite on his face just seconds b4. Wel Then they went on a hunting mission without any real plan. That guy stood in ventilation just on a fucking crossroad which was extremly dumb since he had to watch 3 direction at the same time.

[@ImperativeGames]

Miners in Alien 1 were still far smarter than crew of first human colony ship ever. Doctor made analysis, blood was ok, he was xenobiologist/scientist. Still, I'm sure that he wouldn't let the guy coughing blood go to other people.

[@dj1NM3]

Hey kkarx: Don't forget that in "Alien" it was Ash (the synthetic) who countermanded Warrant Officer Ellen Ripley's direct order (as acting commander, during the absence of Captain Dallas) to not breach quarantine protocols, thus allowing the unconscious Executive Officer Kane to be brought onto the Nostromo with a face-hugger firmly attached.

[@olboe2008]

You are dumb! they fixed Prometheus with a new movie who is dumber which makes Promotheus crew much smarter compared to covenant!

[@syntaxed2]

Heres my list: * No biosuits on an alien planet? Uhm you dont know if theres something that could trigger an allergic reaction there, or worse...a virulent microbe giving you the spaceflu? * Shower horror scene taken from Alfred Hitchcocks "how to make friday the 13" 1945. * Loud music so alarms cant be heard * Shipcomputer wasnt programmed to turn off music before signaling alarms * Noob guy pokes alien flora.Dont touch alien cobras or alien organic material. * Noob guy sits down in alien forest on alien planet with zero knowledge of habitat.There are bees on earth that can kill you... * Noob woman refuses to let her friend out of quarantine but then opens the door anyway * Noob woman breaches quarantine after seeing a guy squirt blood from the back/mouth after a 15min trip. * Noob woman breaches quarantine after seeing an alien lifeform * Ship computer overrides its security protocols to enter atmospheric storm? * Bunch of noobs follow an android through a field of charred corpses, hear him admit he made genetic experiments and then follow him down into a basement.AND THEN LOOK INTO THE EGG HE CREATED. * Bunch of noobs splitting up after having been attacked by highly aggressive creatures. * Noob lead character Daniels doesnt ask shipcomputer to identify Walter once they return to ship after knowing he fought a homicidal android moments before. * Why is the movie called Covenant? Another movie titled after the ships name? * Landing craft has (oxygen?) tanks out in the open hallway.Oxygen tanks for breathing are not pressurised enough to cause such explosions. * Theres more but fuck this movie!

[@jamesraps2830]

In the 1979 original Alien movie,they said the alien ship had been there for thousands of years,and the space jockey was fossilized,correct me if I'm wrong.

[@JotaP1n]

"Look inside that weird and dangerous alien gigant egg. Trust me, remember you just have watched me making monstrosities and talking with a fucking monster that have just beheaded one of the members of your crew. So, trust me dude, LOOK INSIDE! (smile)" ...

[@shawnsears7590]

This movie sucked. Its plot is that of a B movie slasher flick. People doing incredibly stupid things and getting killed by the monster/psychopath. I personally find it difficult to enjoy a film where nearly every character is an idiot. Short list of stupid actions and decisions: * Not using the shuttle airlock upon landing. * Exploring an alien planet without a vacc suit. * Letting a guy puking black goo from his lungs back into the ship without quarantine. * Not vigorously debriefing David as soon as they got to the city. * Allowing a woman to go off by herself (who gets killed). * To be followed by the captain who goes searching for her by himself (and gets killed). * To be followed by yet ANOTHER woman searching for the two missing people by herself. * The captain is ready to put a bullet in David at one point but 5 minutes later puts his face in front of a face-hugger pod simply because David says so. * Not fully debriefing Walter/David before going into cryo-sleep. * Not broadcasting an incident report before going into cryo-sleep. * Not installing a hazard beacon in orbit. * Not waking up some of the settlers to search and decontaminate every inch or the ship

[@njmenaceify]

I was also wondering why the crew would just follow somebody past thousands of corpses without hesitation or any reaction

[@GabrielLennox]

Also the fact that there is a bloody space jockey in the crashed ship! there are just so many problems and contradictions in this film you (I) could literally go on for hours. Such a shame.

[@dazzlypants5909]

Yeah, I could have gone on more, but at nearly 15minutes, its a lot to ask people to sit through a further 10+ minutes of idiocy. Pretty sure scriptwriters have dodged a bullet, because of the poor performance of Covenant, means its less likely some poor sod has to tie it all in to Alien now.

[@GabrielLennox]

I'm honestly really annoyed that Alien 5 has been put to the sword for this mess, the concept pieces looked amazing. However, that said. Not one of the Alien films in the last ten years has lived up to anything we expected.

[@GabrielLennox]

Also you have I subscribed as well, really like your work!

[@ChrisisisB]

You forgot two moments of stupidity: 1) Tennesse: "Do we have to follow quarantine protocols?" "YES! But let's not" 2) Someone to the one left at the lander: "Dont forget to close the lander." "Sure thing!" and shows her not locking up, but going out with door open (and it's never closed).

[@dazzlypants5909]

I could have done more, but at 11 problems I was worried people were going to get bored of the idiocy!

[@olboe2008]

Show them all count all problem I will enjoy them all even its will end #999 and counting!

[@kingwildcat6192000]

u do realize she was doing shit and had to go in and out of the lander! wat they were meaning is when ur done lock it up. if she had closed it how could she work on boosting the signal which she had to do outside

[@danbeaudet6718]

"Everybody: remember where we parked!"lol

[@shaun906]

ChrisisisB you do know its based on a script/ book? ridley has thought this stuff through, in the book there is a long scene in the lander as they test the atmosphere before opening the door....boring..... so ridley put audio into the ships main door that read out the readings from the computer sensors. at first i thought they just opened the door? ridley has called them thinking persons horror scifi, there is method.

[@xeokym223]

Well with #9 I think that the people _are not_ the Engineers; rather they are like humans, a species _created by the Engineers._ If you look closely, they are similar, but not identical to, the Engineers. They might be all congregated at the docking pad because they're eagerly awaiting the return of their superior creators...who knows, maybe it's been 1000 years since they last saw them,and it's a big deal? What I don't understand are the actions of David...he wants to run experiments utilizing the wonderful black goo, but instantly kills off hundreds if not thousands of viable test subjects, for reason(s) unexplained. And wastes a shit-ton of goo in the process. David said he "loved" Shaw, who showed him kindness he'd never been afforded, yet the entire movie was him taking sarcastic, often cruel verbal stabs at her, using illicitly gained personal information (like spying on her dreams). When did this loving relationship occur?! She took his head with her because he could fly the ship. He used her to reconnect his head to his body. He promptly repaid her by chopping her up into pieces for his experiments. Not sure when this wonderful relationship actually occurred...between movies, I guess.

[@jmalden4821]

Xeokym i find it strange so many people think David is responsible for the aliens if all he did was play science with the black goo the engineers created I'm gonna assume they new of it's capabilities,, his strongest point probably was how they missed the city that was within walking distance I guessing maybe due to the storm,, I have to admit tho I love the prequels and I hope they continue

[@dieharddemon8745]

I'm thoroughly convinced that they made Alien: Covenant as bad as they did on PURPOSE so that Prometheus looks great in comparison (seriously, I just watched them back to back the other day and it boggles the mind.....)

[@NewSage]

I stumbled across this video last night, and I just had to watch it again... Dude. You're frikin hilarious! I haven't had a good laugh like that in a few weeks. All your points were what everybody was THINKING! Great vid. Keep 'em coming!

[@bebbenbaby5361]

omg, I just realized that Ridley Scott's prequels have actually made the title 'alien' incorrect. a bio engineered species created by a robot who was made by us using our DNA. the xenomorph is not an alien.

[@fernandobottrel5922]

The worst of Covenant: to the final scene, a member return to the mothership with a Alien inside. This alien, supposed to be a petty dog size suddently became a giant alpha xenormorph! it makes no sense, at all

[@jay82bob]

ridley scott doesnt rhyme with diddly squat for nothing. hes fucked it all up royally. in his quest to answer questions he ended up giving us nothing. good video. you gained a new sub. :D

[@ReverendSyn]

I'm going to go ahead and stick with the Dark Horse Comics continuity. The Mala'kak are a much better explanation for the Space Jockey than the Engineers.

[@jonathankeeler7557]

I loved Alien and Aliens soooo much! It was simple, you know? Big like creatures with acidic blood kills any organic being and repopulate and do the Queen's bidding. In Prometheus and Alien Covenant it seems like they're making the Alien species and the franchise into a religion. The whole Engineer is Jesus, Humans are evil, and Xenomorphs are the perfect beings. It all seems dumb now. Why do we need to know how the Alien species were created if we don't even know how humans were created? The closest thing into "knowing" how humans were created is religion and that's were these prequels are heading!

[@cardcounter21]

You know what the most disturbing thing about Alien Covenant is! It suggests that Ridley Scott simply has no idea how bad or disliked Prometheus was! AC suggests that Scott is surrounded by a protective machine that goes out of its way to make sure no criticism or negativity about his films EVER reaches him! Thanks to this machine, Ridley probably believes the scene in Prometheus where Milburn decides he wants to hug an Alien Cobra was one of the most brilliant and popular moments ever to be recorded on celluloid - or hard drive - and that the public simply cant get enough of 'intelligent' people in his films! This is the only reason I can think of why AC not only repeated the mistakes of Prometheus (another crew of 'trained' people deciding to walk about an alien planet with no protection) but in some cases magnified them! Ok, maybe that's exaggerated, Scott must be aware of at least some of the criticism surrounding Prometheus but he probably needs to look further beyond the blind praise of the parasites and hangers-on surrounding him!

[@dazzlypants5909]

You've got a great point there. He seems to have ignored every single complaint about Prometheus, and settled on "there wasn't enough Xenomorph action", when frankly, that might have bothered a tiny minority of the audience, but the majorities complaints were characters being stupid and a script that had lots of "moments" with absolutely no pay off to any of them. It's clear he doesn't venture onto the internet very often, or only visits sites like prometheusfans!

[@TheLogitech91]

What a big let down. Zenomorphs were essentially created by Humans. What a joke. The idea of the engineers has so much promise.

[@dj1NM3]

Had. Doesn't any more, because Ridley Scott killed that interesting idea off with these two prequel movies.

[@cardcounter21]

@@dj1NM3 Prometheus raised three questions: Who are the engineers, why did they create us, why do they now want to destroy us. The film ripped audiences off by answering none of these questions and Alien Covenant goes one step further in erasing the engineers and rendering Prometheus a complete waste of time (and cinemagoers money). Ridley Scott, likely surrounded by ass kissing morons who tell him how good everything he does is, is probably completely cut off from reality and has no idea just how bad these Alien prequels really are! Thats the only way I can explain the repeated stupidity in Covenant.

[@georgiyanev7056]

I'm massive fan of Alien, Aliens and Alien3 but this shit and Prometheos killed the movie for me. I don't even watch the old alien movies any more because Ridley ruined it. This was it men "GAME OVER MAN, GAME OVER" .

[@jneilson7568]

That sucks. It's like they were trying to destroy the lore. Playing Alien Isolation, and watching Alien so much before even Prometheus, has helped somewhat to keep the original films separate and rewatchable.

[@stop-spy-non-me83]

Bravo. You had me rolling with laughter the entire way through. Great delivery and timing. Thank you for the entertainment.

[@anthonyyoutubefan7567]

Regardless of Covenant's problems, I love your voice!

[@scottwalker2980]

everyone seems to forget the issue of alien growth cycle..i mean, in the end of covenant a chest burster kills the sarg in the med bay which then alerts mother to an alien on board, now in a few minutes the alien chest burster must have grown to full size to appear in the shower scene ?

[@saifshahwani6908]

crew irritated me again and again with their stupidity...They just couldn't identified David, they just didnt had protocols how to land on a new planet, they just didnt had plans like they were going on a picnic. even during picnic people are more clever.

[@dazzlypants5909]

Saif shahwani knows :)

[@fernandobottrel5922]

Another contribution: the spaceship the crew uses to land in the engineers planet has a windshield you could have in your car! to land in planet with atmosphere! And also, the spaceship aerodynamics is a joke! They would desintegrate in few seconds.

[@jacobdewitt2535]

David didn't stop them from killing the Alien in part because he wanted to see how it would play out. It was an impromptu experiment to see if they, with all the technology at their disposal, could beat the alien. And it would have been a poor idea to tip his hand too early, because both the remaining crew members knew the layout of the ship and had firearms. He just wanted to get them in their cryochambers as smoothly as possible so he could get to his big experiments, with 2000 sleeping colonists. Imagine how mad he would have been if he had interfered and the ship ended up exploding and he ended up back on the planet. I know a lot of the movie was silly, but this part actually made sense to me.

[@gregoryscott7088]

I was so disappointed in Prometheus, I have not gone to see this one yet, but I would pay 8 bucks to listen to you make sarcastic remarks for 2 hours.

[@zombiespock]

I made the mistake of seeing this over Guardians of Galaxy. The only positive is the cinematography and maybe Danny McBride. The rest of the movie is blah. Was bored and confused by the plot, if there was one.

[@Lokazana]

Im mostly surprised ridley himself didnt see how utterly crap the script is. Its really a no brainer.

[@SDNate760]

Here's a rule that I wish studios would start following - if you're writing a movie that doesn't star Jack Black, and when reaching the end of your script you realize that none of the story would have happened had any character been smarter than a piece of licorice, burn your script and write a better one.

[@MarkArandjus]

Yes. Absolutely. All of it. It's like someone took all my frustrations with this film and turned it in a video! Who knew my frustration had such a deep voice.

[@dazzlypants5909]

I'm your conscience...... go mow the lawn, you promised your wife!!

[@VereskVeil]

Mr. Ridley Scott gone mad since Kingdom of Heaven. At least. No chance of getting any good movie from him. I mean Prometheus was really bad but at least visuals were great. This movie is worse, much much worse than Prometheus and visuals are more disturbing and imperfect.

[@LadyAnnePhD]

ROFLMAO OMG seriously your intro message! Love it! Lolol Great video thanks so much! As a scientist myself all I can say is (to quote Honest Trailers) Earth must have come up with a way to get rid of Morons by sending them off to explore new worlds without any protection and make sure they'd touch everything along the way! Also - wow so much flute! Oh and of course there's also the MORON move of "yes by all means trust the insane AI 5 minutes after he goes nuts and look in the egg because he tells you 'oh yes it's perfectly safe!' ROFLMAO! Thank you so very much for once again for your awesome video! I can only hope they stop ruining our beloved xenomorph series! Please! Make them stop! Lolol Lady Anne ^^ö^^

[@GreggGagnon121010]

I loved the slap stick slipping on blood by BOTH characters in the drop ship, home alone style, after they brought the infected clown on the ship, spewing blood everywhere. THEN the medical chick..I guess she was some kind of medic, decides its time to quarantine the soon to be without a backbone dude and leaves the other chick in the room with him...Huh?? Then yeah, 2 or 3 shots from her gun takes out the whole ship..ffs.

[@jeremypiteo2341]

Problem #10 - I did figure out that David and Walter had switched places when the camera cut away before the end of their fight. Big rule in film: If you don't witness the character dying, they're probably not dead (they pretty much telegraphed that when they showed David cutting his hair to match Walter's way earlier).. That said, during the scene with the xenomorph on the ship with Daniels and Tennessee, I believe that David is actually testing his latest "successful" experiment, to see if it will survive the efforts of the 2 humans, or as David sees them, the "lesser" beings.. while simultaneously already planning to use Daniels' body as his next experiment, should the xeno not survive.

[@GhostOdyssey]

Severus Snape (Alan Rickman (rest in peace)) after a few drinks, on the mullings of a shitty movie, is what comes to mind. Love your voice! Great video too!

[@alvin4100]

why didnt Mother the Ship's AI recognise david?

[@dazzlypants5909]

One of many unintentional mysteries Alien Covenant has.

[@dazzlypants5909]

Clearly Mother didn't recognise David or there would have been a scene or dialogue to say otherwise. I think you're being contrary for the sake of it.

[@bradmcbradface9142]

its like if you plug your phone in a friends charger also david had top clearance in all Weylend products, including the Covenant

[@Johnny-yw3sr]

Why did she just fucking look at him and cry instead of saying there is an intruder mother wake the crew she just looked at him

[@petervlcko4858]

Why have ship right now ability to recognize foreign life form. If you put it on the ship it means that you do it for reason eg there is possibility that you may be screwed. Movies so far don't show that this could happen, because they are first they encounter aliens(goo). Otherwise you don't spend the time and resources to make such security systems if you are not concern about such threat, and if yes you put it on all ships afterwards. What means why they do not have it in nostromo? And I will not accept the it is track ship. Does not matter health and safety in working environment is defined by low.

[@magrathean0]

Problem 1 - The captain died an unexpected, fiery death in one of the pods, something none of them relished the possibility of for themselves. All the other problems have no reasonable explanation

[@Uni0nDirect0r]

That fucking Scooby-Doo-like "plot twist"... I was literally screaming at the sceen when I saw it comming.

[@Waterbender899]

personally I'm someone who adores Prometheus, to me it speaks of desire, failure, misplaced reverence, isolation and insignificance, and a lot more. I got a lot out of it and have read extensive information about it and the process of development, I do hope someday they come out with a director's cut like Ridley Scott did with Kingdom of Heaven, since a lot of character development and some crucial scenes were cut. with that being said I think alien Covenant is a failure in nearly all regards. to be honest I expected to still like it even though I had heard bad things, since again I did like Prometheus despite most of what I had heard about it. But no, Covenant fails to cater either group of fans. It doesn't know what it's doing, it's too much a Prometheus type film without being an alien film, and it's too much an alien film without being a Prometheus film. so it ends up being this mess of different ideas and accomplishes nothing. the original alien film is a horror film when you get right down to it, and it does it exceedingly well. One of the best monsters Cinema has yet to create, with wonderful character development, and genuinely thrilling scenes. aliens is an action movie with less stress on character development and more of the Journey of Ripley. all of this being done by a great director in his prime. Though not my favourite, I definitely understand the appeal. Alien 3 went through development hell, and even though it had a good concept it failed in its execution. alien 4 was awful. even with the bad incarnations that alien has had they all have had their own unique identity and something they were going for with a vision they clearly had. Covenant lacks an identity, while also failing in its execution. At least Alien 3 tried, I can't say the same for this. It's a slap in the face to me personally because it went against everything Prometheus was going for. And if you read some of the development for this movie that is in part because of the adverse negative reaction that Prometheus got when it came out. So they did not continue their original vision and instead came out with this lackluster mess of a movie. I'm saddened that will never really get the Prometheus sequel that was intended. if I'm being honest if it comes out with sequels I will watch them just to satisfy my own curiosity, but I'm no longer excited for it like I was.

[@FlameHawke]

"Complete lack of mirth" :D So, if this movie was == 'Highlander: The Quickening" the next one or dog forbid, two, would have to be hour long versions of JarJar Binks expsose' on midichlorians-

[@dazzlypants5909]

Highlander 2....... that had a few moments of OK in it, but were completely overshadowed by it breaking the rules setup from the first Highlander, rules that made certain deaths more poignant, but seem redundant with the revelation of just calling the name of someone, will bring them back to life?!?!?!? That movie could do with a video on it....... hmmmmmmm

[@nortagnan2135]

Why was there only one city on the whole planet? Why did the black goo melt everyone and not turn them into zombies/monsters like in prometheus. Why is there no animal life on the planet, like at all? We don't see any animal corpses or anything. What are the little spore mushroom things? Why would they exist given there is no life for them to infect? Are they what engineers got the black goo from? If so, why doesn't the film explain or even hint at it? I don't think this film overall is as inexplicable as Prometheus, but it's still incoherent at best, and mindless bollocks at worst.

[@jcubs1950]

This movie is so damn stupid! I am so happy I didn't pay a dime to see this dumb, pointless movie. I am glad to see someone else sees what I see.

[@Emulous79]

This sounds so stupid that I'm not even going to see it for free.

[@craign2565]

this video was amazing!! The voice and sarcasm was tremendous

[@MickyMike11]

Problem #9 In covenant there are different types of engineers, compare them to the engineers from prometheus, they look more human like. Also look at their city, it's all very rudimentary, no signs of actual advanced technology outside of the docking station. It is safe to assume that these "engineers" were a created species by the "real" engineers, just like the humans are and they were all gathering up because they thought their creators, the "real" engineers were returning. Problem #10 This isn't really an issue at all, David wanted to get a hold of the 2000+ colonists to further experiment with them, if he actualy helps the alien in that situation, the alien will most likely just end up killing everyone, including him, on the ship. Why the fuck would he try to help it instead of letting it be killed off and then continue his studies to make the perfect alien with plenty of colonists to experiemnt on... The real actual plot point in this part of the film is not why David tried to help them but why Daniels didn't just ask him 1 simple question to verify if it's actually Walter or David. Like why does she just accept that's it's Walter when she knows both look exactly the same and she just saw them fighting to the death, any normal person would've verified his idenity by asking something along the lines of "Hey Walter remember when we talked about X, what did I say back then to you?". Problem#11 That is not a Xenomorph on the mural, it's a Deacon. This doesn't contradict that David created the Xenomorphs, just means that the Engineers knew that some sort of Alien can develop from infecting someone with the black goo. David could've still created the specific version of that Alien called the Xenomorph, the mural doesn't contradict that. With the rest you are spot on though.

[@noname8121]

Why wasn't there a second drop ship and a crew and a military squad on covenant in case of shit like this

[@slave4glue]

This film just made me too frustrated, same as Prometheus. Walking out there, breathing everything in, touching stuff, pissing in things, ridiculous. Just watch without sound because it’s lovely to look at.

[@germanichammersmash6440]

One of my problems with the movie was the alien became an adult in what seemed like a 10 minute time lapse while not even eating. The first Alien movie showed the Alien shedding its skin and growing over a time. The alien doesn't become an immediate threat. Which builds suspense and a realistic universe. Alien covenant is a failure in so many ways.

[@kresimirperadinovic1652]

Now how does a HELMET pick up a transmission that the ship with antenna arrays doesn't?

[@Lokazana]

Please Ridley, stop now. Let Blomkamp get a shot.

[@dazzlypants5909]

I think that's what irks me more, is Ridley telling everyone its cancelled and not happening so they can explore his series instead. Really hoping 20th Century Fox change their mind and give Blomkamp a shot, because I liked his idea.

[@kkarx]

Is there a basic storyline on the table? How will they explain Hicks and Ripley grew so old?

[@dazzlypants5909]

The intention is simply to ignore Alien 3 and Resurrection, that way, whatever Blomkamp does can be set 20 years after Aliens, and that solves the age problem. Also means it solves the Newt getting older problem.

[@kkarx]

Oh that sounds great they want to ignore these movies, I always found A3 to be rather dull and Resurrection is not a very good movie. I meant how would they explain it takes place 20 years later? What did they do meanwhile?

[@dazzlypants5909]

Presumably the story is set 20 years later when for the past 20 years, everything has been quiet, and then something else comes up, that presumably doesn't involve LV426 (Acheron) from Alien/Aliens. Either way, I would much rather they went in that direction than the one they did with Prometheus and Covenant. Whether or not Blomkamp could have done better, I don't know, but I find it hard to believe he would have done worse. Stick a good script in front of Ridley and tell him to direct it and don't touch the script, and he'll turn out a decent film. Give Ridley too much control over the entire process and he screws it up. I can't think of another director who has such a spotty bibliography when it comes to the movies he has directed.

[@markstirton]

It helps if you think of these people as being parallel with the Golgafrinchams on their B Ark. These are the idiots that society wanted rid of. The fools. The balloons. The telephone sanitizers...

[@truthseeker8457]

10:48 people with common sense would figure out that when david had hair cut and looked same as walter. If you see evil character look same as the other character then they gonna do the switch ( tada big surprise). It's like typical movie trait 101.

[@a_fuckin_spacemarine7514]

I just remembered that David was missing his body at the end of Prometheus. wtf!?

[@Fenris77]

I decided to (Just like with Disney crap wars) give this movie a chance and streamed it online... My reaction was basically "A disturbance in the force" The entire movie is full of both plotholes and really sadly hillariously STUPID plotpoints!

[@dazzlypants5909]

My video could have been so much longer, but why punish people more?

[@Fenris77]

No by all means punish away since all those Prometheus fans may actually need a good hard (metaphorical) slap in the face to actually understand just how crappy this movie was. Okay a way better horror scene back on the ship where Mister and Missus "Crystal Lake" got killed by the Alien but the latter took silly amount of time just to show us what I consider a cross rehash between Alien (Lambert getting munched) and rehashing some scene from a Friday the 13th movie... (Two schmucks making babies in the shower practically scream "VICTIMS").

[@DHGlee2013]

I enjoyed Alien Covenant but was frustrated that each character made dumber decisions than they did in Prometheus.

[@SHEPSCREATIVE]

Why do so many modern movies try to link great alien monsters back to humans? It shits all over the great idea so brilliantly stated by Carl Sagan as "it would be an incredible waste of space". Why can't these monsters just be something that happened on another planet? and as far as a "Perfect organism"....it requires another lifeform to procreate.....that's almost the complete definition of imperfect! Most organisms on earth don't require a different species to procreate and some don't even need a another of the same species!! What exactly is so perfect about the Xenomorph?

[@Marcher1977]

Dazzly Pants must have been in the military. The entire mission was a cluster fuck.

[@randalsenior8477]

6 have you designed any space ships?? How do you know where flammables need to be??

[@Staggo_L]

Not being steeped in Alien lore (silly me, I was just out for excapist sci-fi) I didn't know Prometheus was an Alien film. Covenant is so heavy-handed and immediately ridiculous that even someone in a vegatative state would walk out. I, on the other hand, wasn't so sensible. It hurt so much, so very much. Great review. I rang the bell.

[@SilverStarHeggisist]

#2 they must use Star Fleet protocols for always teams. that seem to require all the highest ranking bridge crew members go on some expedition.

[@Jeffrey314159]

3:48 That could describe the first ALIEN movie: the most important crew members are sent into possible harm's way

[@dazzlypants5909]

Theres also significantly less crew in Alien, and theyve been ordered but with the promise of salvage rewards, hence why the reluctant are now keen to go and investigate. See, the script of Alien gave a plausibility to the script that explains nicely why they went, the same cannot be said for Covenant ;)

[@eoyguy]

There's so many more problems not mentioned. At this point I think Ridley made a good first film for the same reasons Lucas made a good first Star Wars. To whit, he was limited by budget and Special effects limitations of the time, so the movie had to be more character and story oriented. Lucas had the same restrictions with Star Wars. Look at what happened when he was able to spend all the money he wanted and had the technology. Not only did he produce the horrible Star Wars prequel series, but he continually went back and tampered with the originals. Now Ridley has the money and the SFX technology, and we get this and Prometheus. Great with visuals, but story telling...not so much. I will love to see how they explain the technology of the prequels being so much more advanced than that in Alien. Look at Rogue One, a prequel to Star Wars. Same technology. The TIE fighters don't have fancy heads up displays. The weapons and uniforms are the same. No way that happens in these movies. And knowing how Ridley works, he won't care one bit. They need to get away from the female hero as well. It was done with Ripley. It worked, they had the right actress for it. Anything now will pale in comparison. I could go on, but its simple. To this day I can remember the names of the entire crew of the Nostromo without Googling it. I can probably name all the characters from Aliens as well. This one? Well, theres David and Walter, and ...Danny?Dani? Cowboy hat guy. That girl who screams, and the other one that screams. And a black guy..well, you get the idea.

[@dazzlypants5909]

When I did this video, I had to goto IMDB to namecheck all the characters, because they were so unmemorable or no-one in the movie thought to say the names of others. Like you said, all the characters in Alien and Aliens are easy to remember, because the characters were easy to remember.

[@JAG14TV]

Keep it up Mr Dazzly Pants!!!! The true voice of reason, thank you for hitting this fucking thing right on the nail.

[@GetToDaChoppa-k5r]

This was a great assessment of Covenant.

[@Myzer676]

You missed the fact that you had to run through the entire drop ship in order to get to the med-bay, or the fact that they didn't have a quarantine area in case an out break happen.

[@mattevans825]

right on my friend. sad state of affairs we're left with here..

[@jeffpattison6321]

I agree with the lack of PPE being a problem in Alien Covenant, but it appears that this one is a shoot yourself in the foot script development issue. The novelization spent more time trying to retire the risk of toxins, allergens, and pathogens through orbital scanning and field testing which allegedly found the atmosphere to sterile. For some reason, that part was removed from the final script. Of course, the testing the atmosphere and a local soil sample doesn't really make one safe from all the contact hazards one might encounter along the way. So, they still missed, only a bit smarter.

[@dazzlypants5909]

But at least the novel tried, it made an attempt to see the clear problems of the script, and do something to fix them. Some of the problems of this movie could be fixed simply with additional dialogue.

[@Tom_2025_]

I 100% concur with your analysis of both A C and A P.

[@blueg8731]

10:14 "It's one of their ships..." I hope not. The way these bald folk respond to the arrival of the ship is more something you'd expect of people hoping to meet their creators or what have you.

[@dazzlypants5909]

Why would their creators have an Engineer ship docking facility if it wasn't their own planet?

[@jackthompson3453]

Why is there only ONE SHUTTLE?? Over 2000 colonists and only ONE SHUTTLE? And why is there only ONE CITY on this entire planet? An entire planet but just one city? WTF? I hated this movie..

[@dazzlypants5909]

At this rate, a second video would be needed

[@jackthompson3453]

LOL I actually thought it resembled Ancient Rome. But, yeah..it's not the kind of city one would expect to see from such an advanced civilization. And how can there be no insects or animals? Insects and animals are essential in the growth and health of trees, plants & flowers. But they seem to be doing just fine without them. Ridley (and the writers) did not think this through. At all..

[@happyspaceinvader508]

Jack Thompson That's because, as you can see in the very first scene of Alien Covenant, the writers and Ridley Scott don't understand evolutionary biology.

[@jackthompson3453]

Subraxa You have no idea what you are babbling about. You like this idiotic movie? Good for you. Go sell it somewhere else. Have fun in oblivion.

[@dazzlypants5909]

@Subraxas - That little wall of text is what is commonly known as ....... FANWANK

[@extantia]

The idea of alien black goo infecting humans, spawning a hostile alien, and killing them in the process was a creation of the X-Files. Remember in the series and the first X-Files film? In the first episode of season 6 ("The Beginning") a biologist gets infected by the black goo and an alien incubates inside him and bursts out. This also happens to a fireman in "The X Files: Fight the Future". That was in 1998, nearly 20 years ago! How unoriginal could the creators of Prometheus I and II be?

[@graysonchristie7687]

It seems likely that was not the Engineer homeworld (only one city?) and they don't look exactly like Engineers. They are most likely another humanoid species created by them that have more physical similarities to them than humans. They all came out to see the ship because perhaps Engineer visits are extremely rare, perhaps decades or centuries apart.

[@IAMDIMITRI]

Can somebody explain how neutrinos with that are electrically neutral and almost massless can damage the ship? Yes it's a burst and shit, but if the burst happened, wouldn't other kind of radiation cause a much bigger problem? I mean, it can't be just neutrinos burstin. And if you look at how big the neutrino detector have to be to even have a chance at detecting them, I don't think they will cause any damage to the ship at all actually. They are passing through earth all the time. Ship will basically be transparent to neutrinos.

[@bacalaitoxxx]

1.Assuming that they are traveling at near light speed then we can assume that encountering a radio signal from an uncharted part of space that is of human origin to be quite a good catch, miss information was what was wrong in that sequence as far as we know they did not check any logs coming from the corporations. The decision to investigate was not wrong but wanting to stay there might have been wrong. 2.Having only 3 aboard the ship at the start is not really a problem since the ship is mostly automated and knowing that the 3 on the ship are the drivers then we could assume they were not needed. One of the ship drivers could've been the third in command. 3.Agree. 4.This could easily be debunked, 1a. most likely the storm blocked any kind of visual/scanner type of equipment. 2a. The lander did not pass near the city and seeing the city behind a mountain is not that easy. 3a.Considering how small the lander is i would assume the lander does not have a scanning equipment that could scan far. 5.Agree. I would argue that both the death of the captains partner who fell and didn't use the knife after wards and the panic fell from the landers pilot is kinda ridiculous. 6.Agree. 7.Agree. 8.Agree. 9.Remember prometheus how the engineers are extremely religious having a big head in a room then we could assume many things from this scenario: 1b.This was a colony and they have not seen a ship in decades (seeing how the prometheus ships are covered in dirt for decades of not being used) 2b.They could be a secondary group(created from engineers like it was presumed with the humans) of engineers that have received more contact than others and for so long they have waited for their creators to return unknowing they could've been killed off. 3b. The ship could represent the popes car to them for all we know. 4b. Some cataclysm could've happen and they are surprised that a ship has returned. ETC 10.I agree about the computer but not about the rest. He could also be wanting to have more people to experiment as he also wanted the main protagonist to be as elizabeth shaw replacement(assuming he wanted more eggs) 11.Agree, I hope they don't go the route that DAvid is the creator of the xenomorph but could be interesting that david xenomorphs are one of the possible way the xenomorph could've evolved and that previous xenomorph have already existed.

[@supahtyp]

You said it doesn't make sense that David helped the guys to fight the alien. But he propably wanted to lead them to the alien to see it killing them in a fight. Thats why he looked so disappointed after they killed the alien. There are also a lot of possibilities why the engineers come all together to that spot. Maybe the ship was on a very important mission, and they are all happy that it succeeded and welcome it back. Or maybe the engineers in that ship were some kind of kings, who have to be praised. whatever.

[@comingviking]

Yeah. Too much stupid. Too much stupid everywhere.

[@Zishy]

im surprised you missed so many issues

[@dazzlypants5909]

At some point you have to call time and say.... 11 major mistakes is enough, that this movie has that many serious mistakes is sad, that there are more than that is just pitiful ;)

[@KR-jn2yc]

there is so much way to repreduce theirself its just becoming hard to explain: the plants , the cobra thing ,the face hugger and the black goo. do it was really necessary ?

[@CiprianHanga]

where are the other engineers cities? is the whole civilization of the engineers concentrated in just one city? if not, how the other died? was the goo released by David strong enough to engulf an entire planet? if yes, is everything really dead? if so, how about the wheat? how does the pollinisation work in a completely dead world? if the world is dead, then how did the goo turn into plants that now spread as spores? how is that spore thing like a creature that crawls? how come such an advanced civilization like the engineers, who have advanced technology, live in such old cities, with no visible technology in sight? wouldn't such an advanced civilization have something like satellites around the planet? even earthlings have those, and they are the stupid ones, right? wouldn't have the engineers something like a tower control thing to communicate with the incoming ships? wouldn't have the equipment to detect the ship has no living engineer on it but it has a shitload of bombs? the engineers raising hands like a weird cult at the incoming ships are supposed to be the enlightened species that created everything? is that weird gesture the protocol when incoming ships dock? were the engineers formally summoned by the thousands in the main square every time an ancient looking ship was docking? when David is releasing the bombs, don't they have like a protocol when attacked and shouldn't be somebody screaming "fire at will?" if David lived in that cave for years, how did he manage to genetically manipulate the goo? does he at least have electrical power in there? and what technology did he have to create those glass looking containers for the embrions? how did David knew the exact size so they would perfectly fit into that container in the ship? etc.

[@randalsenior8477]

And always remember most movies have never seen MOVIES as we have

[@TheLoobis]

LOL! #6 Is what made me go "Fuck this movie!"

[@DeanBiddler]

Loved your video, I am now sub # 56 because of it. Good work and keep them coming, this spoiled yank needs more things to listen to on his toilet made of oil.

[@The_Curious_Cat]

Well, I don´t agree with problem #6 and you said the reason, it´s not a military ship, so those tubes she shot were exposed, because being a civilian ship, they are not supposed to be shot at by a civilian in panic. So I understand what you are trying to say, but it´s like most gas conducts in some places, they are tubes exposed because what ever is around them doesn´t present danger. In a military environment tho they would be protected because they couldn´t go into battle with such a hazard exposed. I think on that scene there is a bigger problem, which is the whole "sorry I can´t open the door because of quarantine procedures, you will infect the whole ship" after the lady that was with the infected soldier asked to come out. Ok, it seems plausible and intelligent what she did. What is completely stupid on that scene is she comes back with a shotgun and OPENS THE DOOR after saying she couldn´t. Wth??? And they didn´t need to do that stupidity to make the scene advance, since the alien just brakes de glass afterwards. But yeah, covenant stupidity at its best.

[@MirkWoot]

Good points, really good points.. however it kinda made sense that David wanted to get rid of the alien, it could spoil his plans, make a hole in the ship, also I think it was the ship that detected "foreign lifeform", so he had to play along.. thought, yeah, pretty weird how he wasn't found to be a foreign member to the crew. Also, it was shown that Walter had healing abilities.. a better version, right?, wouldn't it be weird that Walter(David), then would need to be patched up for a small cut on his cheek?.. thought, he could grow hair. About the eggs.. maybe Dr.shaw was used to be some kind of queen for few eggs?..

[@lamarazmoe6438]

Excellent work.

[@JohnnyZenith]

Most of your points were excellent but with the killing of the Engineers you surprised me by not realising they are a creation of the Engineers, not Engineers themselves.

[@dazzlypants5909]

I think the jury is still out on that one. Lets consider a couple of things: 1). The budget on AC is quite a bit reduced over Prometheus. 2). In Prometheus, only two actors were made up to look like an Engineer (but only one was shown onscreen), and it was HEAVY make up 3). Budget restrictions and time meant they were never going to make up that many live actors to look like they did in Prometheus. Or, if we accept that they are actually a different species and not Engineers: 1). Why did David exterminate them? If they were not Engineers, what possible reason could he have for landing on that planet in the first place as it was implicitly understood that Shaw and David were going to look for the Engineers. 2). If they are a species other than Engineers, why is there an Engineer ship docking facility there? 3). If there is a an Engineer ship docking facility on an alien world, why isn't there a reciprocal one on Earth, or at least the remains of one? The fact the movie doesn't make it clear, and Scott clearly doesn't have a clue, doesn't help anyone.

[@Xpit12345]

Another problem Is that if u come back from the planet where ur biggest problem was alien life forms bursting out of people's bodies, it could be just a great idea to scan that people on a subject of alien life form upon arrival. Even at this days, one can do such a scan. This film is super stupid no doubts, sadly.

[@jakubjanicki3989]

At least problem 9 is at least not the fault of the script, but viewer's lack of perceptions - those guys flock to see the space ship, because they're NOT engineers, they look a lot like them, but so do humans, and my guess is for the same reason. Why the big engineer ship though, and where'd it go? Probably forgotten by screen writers.

[@dazzlypants5909]

Viewers lack of perception or the film makers lack of ability to make it clear? Some people are convinced they are Engineers and the movie budget scrimped on the makeup. In Prometheus we only saw one Engineer heavily made up, doing lots of people the same would have been time consuming and prohibitive. Some people are convinced they are not Engineers, but then that begs the question, why is there an Engineer ship docking facility on that planet? If the Engineers created them, why hasn't Earth got a reciprocal docking facility?

[@jakubjanicki3989]

You might as well be right about the film makers - could go either way, though I think just them being way smaller, wearing completely different clothing, having different colour and look of skin and their behaviour is a telegraph enough. As for the docking facility - my best guess is that engineers pop by to visit, plus I think it's a ship of some kind, since it's not there during the movie (or I'm also unperceptive, I bet I missed a lot in the one time I've seen the movie - but for example lots of people seem to think the "slapstick comedy failure of a quarantine alien" died when shuttle exploded, but you can clearly see it did in fact escape, not that it matters). And again, why don't earth have a giant ding dong? Maybe because engineers have abandoned us? I'm not saying that the movie is good and faultless by the way, don't get me wrong, I do agree with you on almost every other account, especially with the spectacular stupidity of supposedly trained astronauts acting dumber than a 2 year old. There are some point in which I think the faults are in fact misunderstood intentional plot devices (aliens on planet notbeing engineers, or David not really eating xenomorphs for the first time just "creating them" from a blue print in the goo and trying to improve upon them - which you can see them being more savage than "Alien" xenomorphs, with faster gestation time and being born already in final stage, not as a chest burster, and few other things) - which of course would not be so misunderstood if they weren't lying hidden in a giant steaming pile of actual and unforgivable fuck ups.

[@redmed10]

Problem number 1 is that ridley Scott could think he could relate a film he made decades ago to life on earth. Build it and they will come and watch it. Not at the cinema they won't.

[@reachinghigher4259]

Why would the Engineers be so interested in the Engineer ship docking? Cuz it's been missing for 2000 years and everyone wants to know wtf it's been doing that whole time maybe. I dunno. I want to know why apparently there's only 1 city on the whole planet and the entire population (of a few thousand?) went to check out what's going on.

[@mr_nice.]

Also,(I don't see anyone mentioning that).... WHY OH WHY the expedition team don't just FLY over the signal (since the weather is not that bad any more), and they choose to land EIGHT FREAKIN' KILOMETERS AWAY and have to walk there, having to deal with "considerable elevation" too (as Walter mentions). Had they have flown there, they 'd probably seen the whole freakin' city from above. From the safety of their flying machine. No wonder this film failed around the world! ! ! ! Good job on everything mate, good video.

[@tureytaino2785]

Having the bad guy win was the worst.

[@Tracks777]

I enjoyed the video! Keep it up!

[@anthonybruno3183]

literally laughed my ass off comedy..... she was literally. sh#$%ing her nicker's 😀

[@mmike855]

Awesome video! Keep it up!

[@zbelair7218]

"Theres only 3 or 4 people left to man the covenant" ......there was just David and the on-board AI for years, so, it's not a terrible thing

[@emanuelgoncalvessantos4499]

Man, you can't send all your highest ranked officers in a scout mission. That's a task for a petty officer with a couple of scientists and a soldier.

[@politicallycorrectredskin796]

Aaw, you got so close then to catching the biggest problem of all: You said that the derelict in Alien had been "crashed for some time". And indeed it had, because the pilot of it had been fossilized. According to Wikipedia, it takes a minimum of 10 000 years for an organism to fully fossilize. As far as I know, no one on youtube has caught this detail yet. But have a think. The only way to rescue this horrible script now is to introduce time travel.