What Hell Is Like In Different Countries

The Guv looks at what hell sounds like in different parts of the world.
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Follow the Al on Twitter at / almurray
Become a fan on Facebook at / thepublandlord

[@kilroy2517]

Old joke. Heaven is: an English butler a French cook a German mechanic an Italian lover Hell is: an English cook a French butler a German lover an Italian mechanic

[@Ivanfpcs]

Italian mechanic? Have you ever heard of Ferrari?

[@kilroy2517]

@@Ivanfpcs Spoiler alert... it's a joke, and an old one at that.

[@roadhouse6999]

I'm half German and half Italian. Must make me a pretty chaotic lover.

[@MC_Mega-Jessup]

@@Ivanfpcs If you really want to deconstruct it - Gordon Ramsay is your chef, female French butler, and have you SEEN the stuff that comes out of Germany? This may not be hell, but you're probably going to it living in this house of debauchery.

[@charelpeffer52]

@@MC_Mega-Jessup Gordon ramsay is scottish, not english

[@lancerd4934]

Australians just describe Hell as a bonza place to escape the summer heat

[@xen0g3n]

...and I'll wager Hell's fires are no match for ours at the moment either 😢

[@LJY08]

Even the devil's thinking "keep that shit away from me!"

[@LJW55]

Too fuck'n right mate...

[@thatfatguyinmcdonaldseatin6389]

I live in Saudi Arabia in the summer we have 67C

[@LJY08]

@@thatfatguyinmcdonaldseatin6389 That's messed up mate 😳

[@-TKMAX-]

I think the German joke went right over peoples heads

[@joshm9782]

But ve vere just following orders

[@stephen9381]

Ostrum well it’s not the first time a joke involving Germans went over someone’s head

[@kriest3470]

Lol "instructions"

[@CZ350tuner]

Jokes also go completely over German's heads too. Many years ago I had a German girlfriend and one day she came home from work and asked me to explain a joke she'd heard at work in the morning. She'd spent all day pondering this joke as she didn't understand why everyone else thought it was funny. I asked her to repeat the joke to me. "Blonde women call hair dye artificial intelligence", she said. She then followed up with, "But zee hair dye ist poison. If zhey drink it zhey will become ill??!!". I told her that blonde women dye their hair brunette so that people don't realise that they're dumb blondes. She finally understood the joke then. (She was a brunette).

[@markdavidson1049]

@@CZ350tuner Are there blonde jokes in Germany? It's definitely a part of US and British jokes.

[@alfietowell9919]

In all fairness anything sounds scary in a Scottish accent

[@fenhen]

Oh, aye, English bastards!

[@daveboy1247]

Because the Scots are hard bastards.

[@JW-YT]

@Allington Marakan I'm from Glasgow had to laugh at this as I can picture it in my head.

[@lewis2255]

FOR SCOTLAND YE BASTARDS

[@stephen9381]

Dave Seekers ha not me

[@fruitenantcolonel9207]

The American accent sounds like it's trying to sell me flex tape

[@Carno_Yujia]

@@1BlueFunk we'll never know

[@chefboyardee2223]

@@1BlueFunk don't know why he wouldn't it even works underwater!

[@grog159]

That's a LOTTA DAMAGE!

[@shaunpmarshall]

What is flex tape ?

[@philliphone615]

RED fuck off

[@meatballg8655]

Contrary to the Scottish, if you describe hell in a Welsh accent it sounds like an advertisement for a really bizarre spa experience

[@michelveilleux1275]

As part Irish, I can determine that this is true.

[@drgjenkins4361]

Oh theres lovely boyo hell is it lovely, hymns and arias, have a good sing song init, don't forget to have a whip around for the devils, etc. etc.

[@MartynTaylor50]

Hell to a Welshman is England.

[@andrewhutchinson4228]

@@MartynTaylor50 what you too?

[@NobleSlicks]

@@MartynTaylor50 Oddly true

[@isexuallyidentifyasukraini5407]

I was trying to picture him describing hell in an Indian accent, but it just sound like Deepak Chopra trying to sell me some expired essential oils.

[@robchissy]

in an indian accent it sounds like a scammer trying to sell a fake holiday

[@bigboyrambo2009]

Living in India is hell

[@RandomKun]

@@bigboyrambo2009 May I ask why?

[@rocketrockstar8171]

Hell is a place where the beer kegs have holes in them, and the women don’t!!!

[@rewrose2838]

Or everyone has too many holes but they're all too big and loose and dry~

[@Simon-xi7lb]

@@rewrose2838 you sound like you're getting off to this, lol

[@rogerivy2919]

@@Simon-xi7lb lol so true !! i felt that this is the worst comment one can make but then again like u said i could be wrong

[@BigMan-kp6ug]

@@rewrose2838 ah, lad, keep it to your hentai doujinshis

[@glennleader8880]

At least your woman won't nag you when you get home pissed.

[@JonathanLalrempuia]

As thick as his Britt accent is, I’m surprised how well he impersonation of those accents were

[@MrYashka12]

His London Brit accent is also an impersonation....

[@reb0118]

@@Ardass486 preferably purple.

[@BigMan-kp6ug]

I think he puts the thick accent on

[@andrewhutchinson4228]

Listen to his actual voice, he's a well spoken man with a clever mind.

[@jonomoth2581]

@@andrewhutchinson4228 went to Oxford

[@Sewblon]

3:30 The American accent sounds like he is trying to sell me cleaning supplies.

[@JorikD]

Dutch accent.... First time I hear a foreigner do a perfect accent of my people. Respect!

[@SirFooplesTheThird]

It genuinely hurts to listen to

[@iim4xii129]

Cool story bro

[@musicaleuphoria8699]

Sounds like Bas Rutten's night out.

[@TomFynn]

You can probably find this on offer in Amsterdam red light district.

[@JohnGardnerAlhadis]

​@@SirFooplesTheThird So does their language. 🤷‍♂️😂

[@Skipper.17]

Any horror story told by the Scots sounds even more terrifying. Then again, even if it’s not a horror story it sounds terrifying.

[@No1sonuk]

You should check out Fraser's story of the the old empty barn in Dad's Army... facebook.com/DadsArmyFanPage/videos/832515173517190/

[@michelveilleux1275]

@@No1sonuk Jesus man.

[@idcgaming518]

Have you seen peter capaldi? Everything he says is intense.

[@stanleybuchan4610]

An English place of hell, Murrayfield.

[@donlanjames]

Love how he uses the derogatory Jock and all the Scots are like yeah me I'm a jock.

[@harrymorris2361]

Because Jock isn’t derogatory, Jock means ascot in the same way “Yank” means american, or Coward means Danish

[@howardchambers9679]

My favourite Scottish league player was Jock Strapp. Good at supporting the front

[@lesjames5191]

To most Scots being called a jock is a badge of honour.

[@jamesdonlan]

@Yelaa Bob everything about being Scottish is pure awesomeness pal.

[@cherryblossom3046]

@@howardchambers9679 even when there's NOTHING there to support?😂

[@Yommbo]

An Australian describing hell just sounds like a normal day

[@jguinto101]

Depending on season, summer is a killer

[@Kardia_of_Rhodes]

Scottish Hell just sounds like the average day of a Pict after ambushing a Roman baggage train

[@nicopillay4059]

My favourite thing about this piece is that he labels the French as "filthy, sensuous, and lascivious people" but his description of Hell in the Dutch accent came across much more true what the French were supposed to be. For €40! Bless you, Guv.

[@Infected_Apple]

I found it rather unconvincing until it was about making money, fair enough.

[@rburghout7]

I’m Dutch, yeah €40 will do, tax not yet included of course! 🇳🇱😂😂😂

[@jerseydevs2000]

The not too dissimilar Northern Irish/Ulster accent would probably be #2 scariest when describing something to be afraid of.

[@arsehole8]

What part of Jersey are you from?

[@jerseydevs2000]

@@arsehole8 North Jersey - Paterson. Been in California for a while though.

[@iycephoenixx4249]

"A Thousand FOOking generation!" Lmaoo, priceless

[@getoutim07]

They'll pool oot your kidneys

[@folkengames]

In a perfect world this man would be paid a HANDSOME salary for being the greatest Social Studies & History teacher on the planet.

[@CanadairCL44]

When I need cheering up, I watch this. The Guv is just brilliant! It's November 2020 and it still works.

[@silentwitness247]

I wish I could have learnt Al’s version of History at school. My life would have turned out so much better.

[@interactzmapping113]

Aussies: f--k me should we move to hell? It's so much colder!

[@Aaradorn]

Damn his Dutch accent is pretty good.

[@Ludwig1625]

Eh it was okay, half of it was done well

[@IntiArtDesigns]

Heesh Dutsh akshent ish pretty gewd *

[@BigMan-kp6ug]

@Jan van Speyk its cos we confuse yous for the Germans

[@RobotronSage]

@@Ludwig1625 Actually i've lived in ''the nederlands'' for almost 20 years now and that's exactly how Dutch people tend to speak English.

[@RobotronSage]

@Jan van Speyk Literally nobody apart from Dutch people get what you are saying dude.

[@kezkriune]

I’ve watch only three of his videos and I can already say with confidence: This is the most British man who has and will ever exist.

[@ArthurDentsTowel]

*Poole oot yer kidneys !*

[@Matthew-ut6ed]

ONE. BY. ONE

[@getoutim07]

A thoosand fuckng generations

[@SRunni_]

I think the French version of hell is like a real estate pitch😂😂😂

[@MattOriginalP]

I haven't howled at standup like this in forever. This man is now my favorite

[@josephwalker8684]

I think I now have a kink for hell

[@petervick4775]

Long live Al Murray! Bollocks to "PC" comedy! THIS is REAL comedy.

[@diazinth]

Unlike most of the internet/non-PC crowd, he's intelligent enough to make non-PC jokes tasteful enough to enjoy.

[@19Prometheus89]

@@diazinth Thats exactly it, i think. Coming from him, they sound like a joke. From other non-PC comedians they can sometimes sound like a jab at PC disguised as a joke.

[@dillydraws]

@@19Prometheus89 As someone who loves non pc humour. You need to ACTUALLY tell a joke. Just saying something edgy or making fun of woke sure works as shock humour. But you still need a joke.

[@19Prometheus89]

@@dillydraws I don't even remember what this was about, so won't comment much. But due to Al Murray being a caricature some of his jokes are funny where they normally wouldn't be because of their absurd nature (especially when you consider the comedian playing Al is left wing) Plus, humour is subjective. It would seem i found this funny at the time. Three years have passed, I might not find this funny at all anymore. On your points, we agree.

[@richardpaddington4216]

I never tire of this tale. Brilliant Al Murray.

[@steveholmes5207]

That's hell of a idea lol

[@2KOOLURATOOLGaming]

Stop

[@BeanMachine360]

That's a*

[@steveholmes5207]

@@BeanMachine360 don't pick me up on punctuation or grammar you plum because if you want to comment make a decent one idiot

[@shaggerchuck2060]

@@steveholmes5207 make a decent one, idiot. **

[@lolaharwood4702]

An* idea

[@azmanabdula]

As an aussie I say Hells a free BBQ Who doesnt like that huh?

[@UnasGamingChannel]

Im a Texan. Free BBQ is fuckin awesome

[@universate5332]

Yeh but its people meat

[@UnasGamingChannel]

@Semih Sahin fuck yeah! If only it happened 😂

[@Scarletraven87]

Someone with gastritis

[@darkin1484]

You could sing a lullaby in Scottish Accent and it would sound like death threats of eternal damnation

[@garrymackenzie309]

The ‘Gail’ blowing... 😂😂😂 Such genuine comedy.👍👍👍

[@sonicsucks20]

I dont get it.

[@franceleeparis37]

The Scot finishing with ...’ and canna have 50 p for a cuppa tea guv’...😂😂😂😂😂

[@atakdragonfly1675]

Can't believe I've JUST discovered this guy.. godamn hilarious.

[@garrymackenzie309]

Love that Al can take the piss out of the Scotts yet still get their respect.👍👍👍

[@weetak]

i am Malaysian and i cannot help laughing so hard

[@freakyflow]

Thank you for the uploads We need a good poke During these times Cheers from Canada AKA 1812 firestarters

[@Real_Swanny]

In my play-through we just call it Oblivion.

[@tonylove6199]

.A very funny,smart,intelligent,educational comedian is Al Murray🙏..never seen a bad show ever...He is The Master,He Is The Pub Landlord Al Murray..🙏...Always loving your work Al👌😂🙏😂

[@AbsoluteAbsurd]

My mam would be livid at this LOL She'd probably call him a demon who makes evil jokes. XD

[@KingOfGamesss]

"Hell" is a headache eternal

[@Xanatos712]

Removing kidneys & eyeballs... then you can't drink beer or watch the football, truly a Scottish nightmare!

[@mikesstrippeddowncovers.2384]

Just couldn't get any better. Accents nailed!

[@paulbillingham6769]

Comic Genius. Can't get enough.

[@anthemoftheheart9497]

Legend! One of the best I've seen

[@taxes_pls4493]

As a Scot, I approve 😂

[@petersheville9339]

😂😂😂 This guy is brilliant! Glad I stumbled over this

[@harryzero1566]

Every time I watch these, my reaction is " he's such a naughty boy" and then I go on to watch another of his international exposés of other 'cultures'

[@KiatHuang]

That was a bloody good laugh. Thank goodness for Al.

[@panostriantaphillou766]

And an amazing new method for endoscopy!

[@CancerGaming56]

I didn't know what this video meant before going into this, but I am glad I clicked.

[@davept157]

Lmfao.not laughed so hard in a long time.love al

[@robchissy]

in the Scottish accent, it sounds like a normal night out in glasgow

[@getoutim07]

A thoosand fucking generations

[@ChrisMisMYhandle]

One of my favourite bits ever

[@getoutim07]

Anyone else died of laughter at the Scottish one

[@ap1765]

3:30 Keep your hands and feet inside the ride at all times

[@simonbarry1971]

Very funny....needed a laugh and this hit the spot.

[@Crapz692]

Bloody right mate!

[@goromajima8396]

British hell is listening to the Birmingham accent for an hour straight

[@sulimanmalik7094]

Absolute Legend !

[@lucasharvey8990]

I love this guy.

[@barnbersonol]

If anyone pushes in at the bar and you say "er excuse me" they dont care ... but try "Oi! Pal! Queue up!" in a Scottish accent and they shit 'emselves!

[@22skiddoo]

The last line was the funniest! :))

[@timbuktu8069]

"We were totally lied to by the album covers" - Bill and Ted

[@bodieofci5418]

Being locked in a cabin with my ex is my idea of Hell.

[@tergre54]

You can always just have sex to take your mind off her.

[@shaunpmarshall]

Wouldn't worry ...she's with me at the moment

[@jamesmyers6914]

@@nvstewart 🤣👍😎

[@DragonHunter24]

Weird way to call your left hand that

[@ekrano8746]

He always likes to say "now, the point is" 😂😂

[@alexreilly6121]

Now, the point is

[@TheNotoriousKRP]

Are these shows current or are they recordings from a previous life-time? er, I mean, from 10 years ago? (not that it's any issue)

[@poruatokin]

From an older DVD, not sure when.

[@beebeejones388]

The Scot reminds me of an Appalachian brimstone and fire preacher 😂😂😂

[@dannywlm63]

al murray a comic genius .. just worried my kids think pub landlord is me lool

[@CookedLight]

Genius

[@user-yz7eb5ir5f]

Brilliant!

[@choojunwyng8028]

'Hey love what's your name' 'Lee' 'Beautiful British name'

[@michjesto2038]

Most underated comedian ever..

[@csjrogerson2377]

Heaven and Hell as defined in Europe: European Heaven is: All the policemen are British; all the chefs are French; all the Engineers are German; all the administrators are Swiss and all the lovers are Italian. European Hell is: All the chefs are English; all the Engineers are French; all the lovers are Swiss; all the police are German and all the Administrators are Italian.

[@chikodoheny3912]

Brilliant

[@oneagleswings1707]

the scottish version of hell just sounds like every international restaurant known to America

[@vincentrees4970]

2:04 and this is how we beat the Blitz and why the SAS is so bloody awesome.

[@jhonm6347]

this man will have a stroke on stage going like this hahaha

[@josh7508]

Woah that’s one hell of a comedian

[@TheSurviver72]

Funny as Hell. 😂 No pun intended...maybe.

[@TheSurviver72]

@Jacob Zondag Me too. 🔥👹🔥

[@davidelliott5843]

The Yes Minister description of Europe fits the bill perfectly.

[@nickshields1011]

Scottish name. Plays in a Glaswegian band. Genius. Saw him in Edinburgh. Nails us, every, single, time!

[@TheRomanBond007]

This makes me realize Scottish televangelists would be the most fucking terrifying thing on the planet.

[@jrd33]

... while you are on LSD.

[@tiprunner]

Man hes good!

[@timno2639]

Al describing hell in 2020 is like comparing a kids roalercoaster vs a big boys roalercoaster

[@prodigalespace7299]

FUCKING QUALITY, COMEDY GOLD!!!!

[@margaretcooper797]

I am a Scot and this is so true brilliant!

[@cherryblossom3046]

He is absolutely brilliant😂👏

[@davidsexton6604]

You the greatest mate !

[@philippepalmer2968]

A french desciption of hell would have three versions,either as a film noir directed by François Truffaut or sung by Serge Gainsbourg or a fashion show designed by Jean Paul Gaultier

[@petyrkowalski9887]

Gotta luv the guv

[@a9503128]

Cuppa tea had me crying with laughter

[@miks8]

In Russian it would sound like they are intimidating you and then offering you a choice to get out of the whole thing for a friendly contribution.

[@ResillyusXD]

Counterpoint: Hell described in Gaelic.

[@vanhetgoor]

A famous man once said: "Hell that is the other people!"

[@stevesmith7997]

Genius!

[@timomarkson]

Going to hell better than I understand going to heaven, going to heaven you have to watch is to have a music on a loop

[@p0is0ngaming89]

The best comedian in years 👍👍👍😍