Anti-Style Type: Like-Me-For-Me Mary

Welcome to the Anti-Style types series! In this series I am breaking down BAD fashion and sharing actionable tips on how to correct these simple styling mistakes.
In today's video, we are breaking down "Like Me For Me Mary." Mary is above this whole “fashion” thing. She wears whatever she wants (no matter how tattered, ugly, off-putting, and inappropriate it is) and expects you to embrace her regardless. She wants no part of the appearance game, yet wonders why she isn’t where she wants to be in her life.
What I'm Wearing:
Sweater, Victoria Beckham
Skirt, Topshop
Boots, Jimmy Choo
Services:
Virtual Styling - laurenmessiah.com/shop/
Personal Style University- laurenmessiah.com/personal-st...
Buy Lauren’s Book- laurenmessiah.com/product/the...
Style Freebies:
Ultimate Wardrobe Checklist for Women: laurenmessiah.com/ultimate-war...
‘How To Dress Right For Your Body Type’ : laurenmessiah.com/body-type-eb...
SUBSCRIBE for pro fashion tips, insider trends and new videos: bit.ly/1N7xVjn
Connect with me on social media:
Visit the Lauren Messiah WEBSITE: bit.ly/1wCjCxF
Like me on FACEBOOK: / laurenmessiah
Follow me on TWITTER: bit.ly/1Tm2ruM
Follow me on INSTAGRAM: bit.ly/1L4iGZ4
Follow me on PINTEREST: bit.ly/1WfU0Ah
About me:
I am a fashion expert, on-camera talent and a premiere personal fashion stylist in Los Angeles. I believe that style is for everyone. I work to educate and empower women through my daily dose of fashion advice, shopping guides and styling tips.
Anti-Style Type: Like Me For Me Mary
/ stylistlaurenmessiah

[@sylviamann5090]

Marys need to realize they aren't going to get ahead in their careers with that attitude about appearance. You're not just representing yourself, you're representing the company. In general, most "don't care about style/fashion" because they either don't have the money or the ability to style themselves so they put on a "I don't give a fuck". This series is pure gold.

[@humanormachine2936]

The thing is, everyone has to wear clothes anyway, and everyone has the ability to choose better clothing at whatever price point. You can find good pieces at Walmart and thrift stores, you just have to look harder. Having money makes it easier, but a tight budget isn't an excuse to completely let yourself go. Now, the lack of knowledge on how to style themselves is another issue, an issue that can be overcome if people got honest with themselves, and put in a small amount of effort to learn.

[@clairekurdelak2913]

The important thing here, i think, is, maybe people "shouldn't" judge by first impressions, but it doesnt matter! It's how our brains work, trying to make sense of the world. It's subconscious, and is not going to change. You are really serving people when you urge them to take ownership of the message they are sending! Good job again.

[@tinag7790]

"Your hurting all of our feelings... And you hurting my eyes."

[@mikehawk4388]

I don't get why people choose to watch style videos when they have no style, know the subject is roasting their style, & claim that they don't care about what you have to say but are clearly upset. Like... You didn't HAVE to watch the fashion advice video from the personal stylist... What were you expecting? Ms. Messiah to quit her job & tell everyone that just because they don't care, nobody else should? If you don't CARE about style, fine. But if you're watching a video like this, chances are you want a change, or are at least curious about fashion. Don't be a Sensitive Sally, y'all.

[@krisdoor6905]

Nicodemus z😕😖😖

[@youwantmeXXXO]

Very well said! .. i think important to note is that Mary also judges people for how they dress! everyone does.. including her

[@tfloyd6651]

I like that you suggest that Mary do a little inner questioning. I don't think Mary realizes that her 'inner you' really is showing. When the t-shirt says 'my dog ate my brain': it is clear she has a sense of humor AND is an intellectual snob. When the shorts are so tight, she can't sit down: that person is too big for her britches AND has an attitude. If the clothes are too dirty: I wonder if her thoughts are keeping her from caring for herself (maybe emotionally or mentally homeless?) It takes dedication to display a style for longer than a selfie. It takes courage to display our 'best self' (our loyalty, our truth, our curiosity, our nurturing, our humor, our joy, our innocence, our knowledge), when others are looking. The nice thing is, our best self is always evolving and willing to bring us a rich set of life experiences. So our style can change, as we learn more about ourselves. 😊

[@aprilgrow3667]

Dear Lauren. I love you. I love your combo of snark, humor, and expertise. People are only offended when it strikes an inner chord. If like me for me Mary was truly confident in her approach, your video wouldn't upset her at all. It's because you speak a truth about something they are already bothered by. I'm 5'6", and if someone tried to insult me about being short, I'd look at them like they had 3 heads, bc I'm not short. If they made fun of something I'm insecure about, I would be really defensive.

[@megg9929]

This is my favorite of this series. I do a class with soon to graduate surgical techs where I explain to them how they need to dress/ act during interviews and at work. I tell them they have to follow the golden rule... he with the gold makes the rules... in other words- if you do not present yourself prperly, they will figure out a reason NOT to hire you....

[@maryhildreth754]

I like how you come across. People are too scared to say what they think nowdays. I'm glad you're not. Would you do an overly comfortable grandma anti-style video? That's the trap I've fallen into. On top of just wanting comfort and not really going places much anymore, I have developed plantar fasciitis from using the leg machine and I can only wear ugly flat shoes, because literally every cute pair I have or have tried on will cause pain, even with my inserts. (That isn't just an old lady problem - I got this at the gym).

[@marynyhof6916]

One Mary to another. I feel your pain girl! I sprained both ankles and fractured my leg last June. That presented HUGE challenges! When your feet and ankles look like mature tree stumps that is a problem. Especially is you love shoes!

[@raraavis7782]

Mary Hildreth Ah, I feel you! My feet are too broad for their length (which determines size)...or rather, they are very broad in front and very slender in back, so not even ‚wide fit‘ shoes fit. Forget about heels, I can‘t even find loafers or ballerinas that fit comfortably. It’s pretty much sport shoes or pain. Which has made me slip into wearing mostly ‚sporty‘ clothes over time (athleisure wear, anyone?). Well, at least I‘m pretty fit, so I actually look pretty good in it, but of course it’s neither very chic nor appropriate for many occasions. I have a closet full of nice clothes, I only ever wear if I have to....because of the damn shoe problem.

[@BerylWalubengoAnyitiNanyama]

Mary Hildreth I agree. Too scared to offend people

[@yobolion20]

Yes you’d never see someone voices things in this way on the tell-lie-vision.

[@ramblerjam]

@@raraavis7782 i know this is 7 months after your comment but i had to reply because I've never met anyone else with the same foot situation as me! I feel your pain! I wind up buying shoes that are too long and still not wide enough. I have had a pair made to fit but omg they look so weird because of the shape they wind up being. I can live with it, it's just a bit of a bummer :(

[@yensid4294]

I can relate to the being teased thing & having an aversion to something later. As a child I was forced to wear white orthopedic hard leather saddle shoes to correct my walking with "pigeon toes." I was teased about wearing "baby shoes" & hated having to wear them to school. Fast forward to the 80s when white high top athletic shoes were all the rage & I refused to wear them. I only wore black ones. I told my boyfriend at the time about the whole "baby shoes" thing & he actually drew stripes on his white Adidas high tops because he thought they did look like baby shoes lol. I totally got to him too. As women/girls we get so many messages & opinions thrown at us about our bodies & how we *should* look, feel,act & dress that it's no wonder we lose track of what truly makes us authentically happy & fullfilled, nevermind what actually looks good & suits our lifestyle as individuals.

[@hannahktess]

Wow, Lauren, this is me. I looked inside and realized it’s because of money guilt. I feel irresponsible spending the cash on my clothes. Thanks for giving me something to think about.

[@caller145]

I had an abusive mother. My style gives me the sense of freedom. I don't really think that it's a bad thing and that I'm really hurting anyone so much that I should not do things that I like. For me doing crazy things with my style has helped me a lot to gain confidence and independence instead of doing everything according my mother's opinion. I think that a "bad" and "ugly" style is still a style. After all the past shapes us in a certain way. I know that people judge me for having oversized funny t-shirts and green hair. First impression indeed is having a big impact on people. I still think that people should learn to see beyond their first impressions as we can have great stories to tell. Sure not having a presentable style can turn many people away but maybe I'm only interested in the ones that doesn't. I think the most important thing is to have fun with your style, even if it turns people away.

[@lilipurr7228]

1237 remember this is just her opinion. If you are comfortable with your style and yes it is a style...your personal style... then rock it. I find that “alternative” styles are usually looked down upon if they aren’t cute/ conventional looking. Don’t let it phase you.

[@ebonyalfred4313]

Yes Lauren you tell Mary!!! Lol... People are always judging and they don’t get to see the inside first. First impressions mean a lot. Love your vids

[@marynyhof6916]

I love your sense of humor. Everything you said was true,in my opinion.

[@samanthapeters2972]

Why do Americans wear big earrings? An American came to my country and she said "why do you all wear stud earrings?" I said "they're light, and don't get caught in things."

[@micaelawedge]

Used to be me! I have a friend who thinks this way. I've tried to explain...he doesn't get it. I'm sending him this video.

[@rebeccactus2404]

I just want to say, I really appreciate the way you expressed these ideas. I probably fall into the Mary category, so this was a little hard to hear, but I needed to hear it. So I appreciate how you didn't shame the Marys of the world, you just gave some tough love. Also, I can totally relate to not wanting to wear something because of your parents. My mom is very well put together and always looks nice, though she's naturally really pretty to begin with. When I was growing up, she never hesitated to make negative comments about how I had dressed myself or did my hair, I know now that she was trying to help me look better for my own benefit, but it always made me feel insulted. I also had boyfriends who did the same. So over time I just grew to feel very unattractive, and like I could never look nice enough no matter what I did. So I just gave up trying altogether for my sanity's sake. The message I was receiving was "you'll only be good enough if you meet people's expectations" so I decided, f*** that! I deserve to be loved no matter what, even if I look bad. All that to say, your vid gave me a lot of food for thought. I think it's time for me to leave that habit behind now that I'm older and more self assured.

[@jacnella2419]

Loving all the truth bombs you've been dropping in this series. Finally... someone talking sense!

[@croitoriafaraformule]

Loved the video , all of them. I think all of us have at least one outburst of Mary, Debbie, Ashley Amy, Leslie etc. Important is how we navigate through. This is how we take it with a grain of salt and move on with a smile :-)

[@vee6442]

I personally love your sense of humor! 😂😂

[@thelauralindachannel1149]

"Sensitive Sallies!" I LOVE IT! "Like me for me... that's bullshit" GOLD! You had me crackin' up this morning! I need you to come and slap some style sense into me! (going to check out your style university series!) Keep droppin' those Truth Bombs, Girl!

[@brittney1950]

This is one of my favorites thus far. Lauren thank you for your honesty. Everything your saying is true. I was a like me for me Mary for a couple of years ago b/c of financial difficulty. I’m so glad invest into more pieces I love & make me look my best! I’m continuing to get my act together at the age of 30! Again thank you for your insights.🙃

[@deeakins]

First to comment. Love your vids lauren💜 you look beautiful

[@555noelle1]

I really like your videos. I have winced a few times at what you say but I know why you're doing it. Your honesty is refreshing. Thank you.

[@BerylWalubengoAnyitiNanyama]

I love you Lauren! Amazing!

[@WorkingLook]

Yes - LOVE deconstructing how limiting beliefs are expressed in our clothing! Also - LOVE the earrings!

[@Alix_L]

Lauren! I got my self a flattering and stylish denim skirt that I feel like me in!! I’m so excited for my future stylish self. Thank you, sensei 🗣

[@snowpuffxx]

BRB wishing for unicorns 😂😂😂😩😩😩 I'm so glad you're around to give me intermittent reality checks haha

[@daintyDeniss]

True! Of course, from the long term horizon, people are going to like or dislike you for YOU. But give them the chance to get to know your real YOU, don't repell them with your slouchy looks and poor first impression wich makes them think (even subconsciously, we can't control it!) that you don't have enough respect neither for you nor for the rest of the people around you. I believe we don't have to be the style icons (we can though! :D ) but "put togetherness" can make wonders. Thank you, Lauren.

[@AmandaBaias]

I like how raw and no bull you are. You certainly changed my view of the world. Thank you!!!

[@heatherp7836]

Preach girl, preach! Jezuz take the wheel! Love LM!

[@cadencehaase]

Awesome video omg. I am awestruck

[@shoeboxenterpriseslinda3151]

I think when it comes to hair and makeup I put it in the "too hard basket" (or I lacked time to deal with it!) and opt for a take me for me approach to pretend it doesn't matter, when it does! Completely ruins any effort I put into my outfit! It was the same when I was working long hours in corporate life, and now with two children it feels difficult to dedicate the time. Hats off to anyone who can pull it all together all the time. I'm just trying for a nurturing, consistent skincare routine and decently-presented, flattering clothes at present.

[@loranoodle]

Im all about that with the hair (makeup I can do). I was always pushing hair aside because it takes too long, now Im a mother I have even less time! But I have absolutely come to realize if you don't do at least the hair (skip makeup) it totally ruins your overall appearance.

[@paomiranda26]

I wish there was an option to love this video. I was a little hestitant because I assumed this was a style “shaming” video, but this is not that at all! I appreciate your sense of humor throughout and then shit got real and you talked about the psyche of style and it clicked. Please keep up the awesome content!

[@jijahzah]

Yes this is exactly what I always said. Agreed 💯 percent.

[@annarehbinder7540]

Love you Lauren for doing this and more importantly explaining the more deep seated stuff because at least for me this series have actually helped me like myself better , as ive understod why I do stuff and to let loose ! My husband said something yeasterday When I asked him about how ive deloped these years We have been together and he said you have become more you and I really like it . Its so cool ,you fight for it and you make me want to do it with you . So Thank you Lauren for providing even more pieces of the puzzle which i felt was wrong , but couldnt put My finger on . ( My mom wanted a sweet girl , in english schoolgirl dresses and a pink ruffled skirt who liked handicrafts and liked to play with Barbie Dolls , that aint me but I still miss her a lot)

[@AnaGarcia-fh7iw]

Love this video!

[@belenladaga6834]

This is the damn real thing. You go, Lauren.

[@joeyl695]

Basically, by style choices, Mary is lying about herself. People who might like who she really is, pass her up while those attracted to her external image are disappointed.

[@anonymouse5910]

Thank you. A video just for me! ;)

[@alexisglover7628]

I love you! "Unicorns with sacks of money"! "Hurting my eyes"! I can't! 😂😂😂

[@kary3949]

Love your Videos

[@seasoneddiva160]

So so true!!!

[@quinnterry2834]

Lmao! Unicorns...bags of money! I fell OUT!!

[@funnylittlecactus4672]

I like your honesty.

[@ijustlovepuppies]

I love your face when you say "sensitive sallys"!

[@newyorkification]

This is me. I from a very young age attracted too much unwanted male attention and it scared me so I thought if I looked ugly people would stop. But they never did and now I don't know how to look normal around regular people or how to interact with them in a way that doesn't make them dislike me or be disgusted by me. I feel ashamed because I don't know these things so I feel lonely and isolated and incapable. I can't draw closer to the people I would like to know because those kinds of people would never deal with a low class individual such as myself. All i attract is desperation and anger. Any non shaming suggestions would be welcomed . Thank you.

[@corabora12]

Those sensitive sallys

[@Canadian97467]

LOL!

[@kary3949]

Cora Smith 😂😂😂😂

[@theamethyst93]

I love this video

[@sharleenpeaches4929]

I have to watch all these series again after I this pregnancy so I don’t let myself go. After my first baby I was in workout out gear for months because I didn’t feel comfortable with my body.

[@heatherp7836]

One more in the anti style series?!! No! Say it isnt so, Lauren!!!

[@purplegal05]

What happens if I am all of the anti-style types rolled into one? :-/

[@danielaayers3449]

purplegal05 It means you are awesome 😘

[@rachmoore]

I Love you!!!

[@humanormachine2936]

Saying that clothing doesn't matter is like saying attractiveness, race, gender, and age don't matter. It's simply a refusal to accept reality. The first information people receive about you is your appearance, and our human brains are constantly making judgments about others, whether consciously or subconciously.

[@tamara6464]

I like her jumper in this video it is gorgeous 😃

[@kaylynnhuddleston5533]

Totally agree have a frumpy Fretia she is just black Ortho tennis shoes and long plain skirts she is a like me for me. She's beautiful but Frump.

[@poojagurudatt]

How do you dress if you're short and have an hourGlass figure?! We're curvy as well as short. So clueless! Help!

[@daintyDeniss]

There's a youtuber Aly Art out there, she deals with lines and silhouettes, go check her body type series, it's extremly helpful. We all are of a certain body shape and she shows how to figure it out, understand and embrace it. This essential understanding of the certain shape we are born with helps you to rock the maximum out of what you've got. Any style is then just an upgrade of that basic understanding. So, I suggest Aly for discovering your very own beauty and then Lauren for the style (when you're already aware of the nature of your features) :)

[@poojagurudatt]

Denisa .Verčimáková Hey Thanks so much will check it out xx :)

[@melissamw1970]

Like Lucy Hale in PLL-dresses that hit at the knee and cinch in at the waist!

[@duct_tapeheart6484]

Pooja Gurudatt ASOS "petite curve". GAP and Old Navy also carry extended sizes in short length online. Personally, I'm 5'4 and curvy. A-line shapes and high waistlines are my friend, as are cropped tops/jackets because they actually hit me at the proper length. Basically, I've learned to emphasize my waist in EVERYTHING!!! I don't buy bulky or loose silhouettes no matter how trendy they are. Once you know what shapes look good on you, why vere from the path? Even my gym clothes have a recipe lol.

[@duct_tapeheart6484]

Ann Taylor also has FANTASTIC petite style range.

[@chiarascura7574]

I totally agree with you but showing those pictures with their faces is body shaming . Please do not disqualify yourself through doing that , and swearing so much . Everyone , and I mean everyone , knows that coarse language is inelegant.

[@RBLXGaming23]

You're glossing over the fact that many girls grow up in homes where there is no money for clothing. That's why they are wearing $15 novelty t-shirts and ugly sneakers.

[@rayy2670]

Lool thats me...I really don't care about what people think. Clothes I love make me feel beautiful. Including old destroyed t shirts. I used to pair them with high waisted diy skirts..I can't wait to go back to wearing those instead of my spitup stained booby flashing longsleeves (cause no time to shave armpits and needing fast boob access)

[@solveigilhea]

boy, you really don't like blake lively and amy schumer :D Great video!

[@chiarascura7574]

Nothing is more vulgar than showing off logos . Or expensive brands . In France it is a no go . And refined language is the most beautiful thing we can wear .

[@suk4honesty]

i'm broke and hate my body how tf am i supposed to dress well

[@Bayo106]

vickie g change your body

[@jonaebaskin675]

Can I be your client?

[@malenalm526]

¡¡No se puede ser tan caretaaaa!!

[@VeryBeby]

oof more like "Lose-the-bitchy-elitism Lauren" ; ) Elitism doesn't look cute on anyone. Maybe my girl Mary is secure in her career and relationships and just wanna wear some comfy shit. Maybe it's laundry day. Mary doesn't owe it to anyone to be a fashion paragon. Clap BACK, Mary!

[@caitlinc-r2957]

Has anyone ever said you look like Molly Ringwald? Because you do a bit, and you sound similar too

[@rhythmictiger]

Oh, I thought these would be about embracing these styles.

[@laurag3747]

I might be a sensitive Sally, but the main message I've got from that video is that people like you for your fashion tastes and for your looks. That's kinda sad imo. I thought 2018 was about supporting each other and feeling good about yourself. People should wear what they want and what they feel good in, but that's just my opinion.

[@louisaschultis5836]

I agree but I think the true meaning behind this is that fashion and clothes have now become a way of expressing yourself, meaning that if you dress poorly, people might think, as we always judge ( a human protective reflex ), that you're not very interesting or outgoing or creative...etc

[@laurag3747]

That's true! Just sad

[@seventhsheaven]

Lol, I don’t care if it’s 2018, people always have and always will judge each other for how they look. It may not be PC to say it aloud but we’re all thinking it, so don’t be naive.

[@Belihoney]

lou Slts wow I never thought of it like that, that is so true!

[@elisabethsiadous3]

Laura g ikll

[@darinaangelova2882]

A LOGO IS NOT ART

[@mayahedgehog2326]

oh, I know one such Mary, and her name is really Mary... she wouldn't wear this and that and when I said "you need more modern clothes in your wardrobe" she was like "I don't follow fashion, I am not a fashion person..." some deep trauma here, but I just couldn't work with her anymore... I guess I was just inexperienced at that time, now I'll know what to look for. Thanks Lauren!

[@simplykatexo2504]

so are you saying you only base who you like on what they wear

[@Bayo106]

SimplyKatexo no but decent people present themselves well

[@simplykatexo2504]

What does well mean though everyone has their own style and just cause you don’t like it doesn’t mean that everyone doesn’t like it

[@simplykatexo2504]

yeah but how is this supposed to make you feel good

[@moneystrb22]

This girl just reinforces stereotyping, judgement and cruelty. There needs to be an underlying comedy for this to work and it just comes across as the mean girl at the middle school lunch table. I keep trying to enjoy these videos because the concepts are there, but the viciousness keeps taking me out of it.

[@LivLaugh]

Then stop being human and find a different species to integrate that doesn't judge each other and that aren't naturally built to build assumptions based on survival and mating instincts. Good luck.

[@altitudeiseverything3163]

Comes across as much needed honesty to me.

[@ainhoaaparicio3729]

I do enjoy but you are not helpful. ;-)

[@IvyRoad]

The problem is you use very successful women as your what-not-to-do. I think Amy Schumer, for instance, is doing just fine and people actually do like her for herself. Also Ellen and Portia and others whom I have forgotten. Is this really the message you intend to send to other women?

[@simplykatexo2504]

People should like you for your personality your sending out the wrong to young girls

[@elyse443]

Maybe you should do a video . It seems like this one is not your favorite.

[@rockabillymuffin]

How heteronormative and sexist, ableist and classist of you :D wow. Your poor clients, I hope they have enough confidence to know that they are enough, that fashion will never satisfy everyone you meet so wear what you want and what is appropriate for your job and what you're comfy in. Don't listen to these condescending people telling you you are too stupid to know whats good for you. You are enough. ♥