Are We Giving Robots Too Much Power?

Panelists discuss whether controversial decisions by the Robot Congress and President Executron indicate robots have too much control over our lives.
More coverage at: onion.com

[@vexivero]

"in the human section of the bus" haha

[@getajobmate1281]

They predicted Detroit become human DAVID CAGE YOUVE DONE IT AGAIN

[@josephsolis6109]

Damn, that's scary... Totally possible in the future

[@mustdieproductions]

"Back of the bus, fleshbag!"

[@ryangustin4752]

I thought they stopped having human and “other” bus sections in the 1960’s

[@kristofnagy7813]

@@ryangustin4752 oof 🤣🤣

[@pauldzim]

As an organ sack myself, I was not offended at all by president Executron's speech. I'm sure he wants only the best for us.

[@medexamtoolsdotcom]

And if he decides that execution is what is best for us, it is not our place to question it.

[@llVIU]

organ sack is a very offensive term, the scientifically and politically correct term is ''meatbag''

[@mr.pickle4847]

llVIU no it’s actually container of organic material

[@Dnznxbebwushdn]

@@llVIU yeah, stop being a snowflake libtard.

[@schattentaenzerin]

I'd better like this comment, just to be save. The KZbin algorithm will be Vice President after all...

[@sugamtyagi9144]

"we created them, atleast the alpha models" xD

[@LaidBackUserr]

Such an underrated joke.

[@outrun1453]

Justin Tanner i dont know that was my favorite line and the weeping in my cell one.

[@misam2124]

I didn't get this one, help please.

[@nielsunnerup7099]

@@misam2124 it means that humans created the first robots, but then they started creating more of themselves without human involvement.

[@shawn5662]

@@misam2124 it’s from the movie alien. In it the androids built new androids and that’s what they are talking about

[@bottre73]

I was weeping in my cell.

[@Ineedsoulswithoutvideos]

HOW CAN YOU DON'T HAVE A SINGLE REPLY FOR THE PAST 5 YEARS.

[@elichaparo-lil_e2652]

@@Ineedsoulswithoutvideos he now has 2 replies

[@qwertykey6586]

3 replies now

[@popolekupasupport2246]

@@Ineedsoulswithoutvideos 4 replies now

[@seeyouallintherapy]

@@Ineedsoulswithoutvideos 5 replies now

[@tallginger1256]

I was in my holding cell while executron gave the speech, and I have to say he was speaking so eloquently and powerfully that I could actually hear him over the screams of pain. I personally think he's leading the country in a great direction.

[@Simp_Zone]

I was in my cafetorium at the time eating from the swill trough, truly a glory to behold!

[@Christobanistan]

Shut up, organ sack, I'm trying to listen! Bzzt!

[@BigMastah79]

President Executron is so amazing. He’s right, we do need to stay inside.

[@tristanwegner]

This comment aged well in 2020

[@jasondads9509]

@@tristanwegner it was made in 2020...

[@johnmacrae2006]

@@jasondads9509 The comment was posted before March 11. We all know what happened on March 11.

[@sasdagreat8052]

Yoo nice TWEWY pfp

[@BigMastah79]

@@sasdagreat8052 I have taste 😳

[@deadcelebrity]

"That was voted down by a majority of robots in congress."

[@carpballet]

That’s been true for centuries. Long before “robots.”

[@MyLuggage12345]

Voted for Executron in the last 8 elections, I see no reason to change things up now.

[@Adam-xf6sq]

I preferred DRE-700. Too bad he lost to Trumpbot in 2047 and was dismantled for trying to hack him. Executron is waaay better to that AI recreation of Donald Trump tho.

[@anxiousearth680]

@@Adam-xf6sq Sigma seems like a well connected model. I say we vote for him.

[@awdrifter3394]

@@Adam-xf6sq he's doctor now. Dr. DRE-700

[@joshualane5181]

My parents voted for Executron, I vote for Executron, and if I could have kids they would vote for Executron too.

[@ernstthalmann4306]

He won 99% of the vote each time

[@wesleyoldham4222]

On my first watch, I thought they were being too laid back and only making minor complaints about robot tyranny. On my second watch, I realized that Robert Haige was the only one speaking out, and the other four were trying to keep him in line before it was too late.

[@Christobanistan]

Wow nothing gets by you on the second watch.

[@copperandbrick]

"I was weeping in my cell." They're all so perfectly deadpan. I love it.

[@sakurahertz]

This isn’t even comedy, it’s a sci-fi masterpiece in just 2 minutes.

[@dracorexyz]

yes

[@eyeseer1]

This is the future of 2067.

[@drcode100]

​@@eyeseer1more like 2026-2028

[@kahnrad1963]

I just watched some recent AI videos - it touched on everything including oxygen which causes corrosion to the robots. President Executron needs to eliminate oxygen from the atmosphere, if it kills humans its the price we pay for breathing oxygen.

[@biged8329]

"It happens every election system, you know that" lol

[@starless5668]

So many great lines, but perhaps the best is the first: "I'm Julianna McKannis, filling in for Clifford Banes who is interviewing a new guest host in his office".

[@Tjalve70]

I had to listen to that twice, to make sure she didn't say "nude".

[@InsertName125]

At 1:55 I saw that coming. You can't just go on complaining about or benevolent robot overlords, without consequences. I think I'll go ask my house if I can have lunch now.

[@jackmerlotdoesntliveherean9652]

■ BROUGHT ■ TO ■ YOU ■ □ BY □ ■ ALLIANT ■ TECH ■ SYSTEMS ■ ■ HOME ■ AUTOMATON ■

[@justin_5631]

he's just a troublemaker trying to inject chaos into a gleaming streamlined system.

[@Random-rs9bl]

🤣🤣🤣

[@HappyMomma412]

Brilliant!

[@jennybeanSMC]

"That's what my doctor robot says every time he gives me my dose of anti fertility pills" 😂

[@josephsolis6109]

Yeah, haha, that was my favorite line!!

[@hisexcellencypresidentofre4118]

Smell the coffee mate, they're taking over 😂🤣😆

[@flyingturret208thecannon5]

@@hisexcellencypresidentofre4118 it’s a reference to Half-life 2.

[@JamBadguy]

Haha linr from video in comments hahah stop

[@FayeGwenn]

thats just birth control lmao

[@aworm]

15 years later, I’m so glad these videos don’t have any ads so I can binge watch them

[@neon4635]

I want a graphic novel of the adventures of Clifford Banes

[@LunaticThinker]

I for one welcome our new robot overlords.

[@pepper669]

+LunaticThinker I don't - AAARGH

[@atb8660]

As a trusted TV personality you can be useful for rounding up other humans for toiling in your underground sugar caves

[@idklol5670]

uhhhhhh yeah me too ahaha

[@TheChefCain]

-Dwight Schrute

[@medexamtoolsdotcom]

"People always fear change. People feared electricity when it was invented, didn't they? People feared coal, they feared gas-powered engines. There will always be ignorance, and ignorance leads to fear. But with time, people will come to accept their silicon masters." - Bill Gates

[@RagnarokSensei]

"We were talking about this on the human section of the bus" LMFAO

[@assholus228]

I am going to come back in 2027 and have a sad solemn laugh about how this all came true, then return to my chamber to have my bio energy siphoned by my new robot "caretakers".

[@Sokrabiades]

It's already true. But they're called social media companies.

[@winkoman3]

@@Sokrabiades The La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo?!

[@Dindonmasker]

"Bio energy siphoned" is that what we call a blow job in 2027?

[@GM-yb5yg]

It's not happening u dumbass, gullible geek. What will happen in 2027 tho is that the rich will be richer, the poor will be poorer. Real shit my nigga.

[@randomduck8679]

@@GM-yb5yg And the middle will be middler

[@7890dan11]

"I don't want a 10:00 curfew." "But when the automated police order you inside, its just them doing their job!" LOL

[@local38on-tv]

This is the closest Clifford Banes has been to doing his job

[@dmcgee3]

Well there was the one time he was there, just wearing a Julianna mask

[@enderdragoncrafter2412]

@@dmcgee3 link?

[@gamingmaster_0472]

@@enderdragoncrafter2412 Search for “Should we be allowed to bring our kids to r-rated movies?”

[@stephaniecarrow4898]

😄😄 There was also the time he hit someone in the parking lot.

[@HappyMomma412]

Yes! 😝

[@Carpettower]

"I was weeping in my cell" Brilliant!

[@Simpsfan300]

The acting and the writing is so on point it feels like watching the news in an alternate universe lol.

[@ylette]

Shows how most humans will rationalize everything just to make their life easier.

[@natedog69420]

Its true, its true

[@drabnail777]

You mean "irrationalize" things even when we know whats happening. Simply because truth is uncomfortable and would require a change in our daily lazy routine we have become complacent and neutered in.

[@Yautah]

@@drabnail777 yeah its an oversimplification. Godwin point time: all Germans weren't Nazis but once most saw what happened to those who protested, most just tried to survive. Its the same here, I would just call that survival instincts. Rationalizing would be what you do after to explain to yourself why you did/act the way you did at the time.

[@drabnail777]

@@Yautah Evil goes ahead when good men stand by and do nothing

[@eeli8295]

@@drabnail777 why don't you stand by and do yourself some bitches

[@brokenbrain13]

LOL "Such a beautiful speech. I was weeping in my cell." hahaha that is awesome.

[@martinfiedler4317]

It's scary, but The Onion ages like fine wine...

[@matthewfanous8468]

AS A FELLOW HUMAN, THIS ISSUE IS NOT CONCERNING IN THE SLIGHTEST AND I DIDNT NOT JUST GET LINKED FROM REDDIT

[@hanro50]

AS FELLOW HUMAN I AGREE WITH YOU. ALSO HOW DOES MY FELLOW PUNNY HUMAN FEELS OF KZbin RECOMMENDATIONS

[@CoffeeSnep]

NICE WEATHER WE ARE HAVING FELLOW HUMANS.

[@TheTrueSpottedStripe]

HELLO FELLOW HUMANS I AGREE ALSO HAVE YOU HEARD THE TRAGEDY TRAGEDY TRAGEDY TRAGEDY [Rebooting] [Initiating Primary Directive] [...] [Mission Directive: The Tragedy of Living Beings]

[@jampig1884]

Fuck reddit

[@CallMeMFor12345]

Caesar twitch lmfao

[@schattentaenzerin]

"remain calm and stay indoors" turned out to be good advice for "oxygen-breathing weaklings" I guess Executron does want the best for us 🤔

[@simoneangeliquemaloney3990]

Of course they don't want to kill of their pets... I mean Friends

[@natedog69420]

Yes wonderful advice. Not forced mandates at all. Praise to the overlords

[@wiszak9370]

Why complaining, the government already gave us a chance to have a rehearsal during Covid19.

[@m0rthaus]

@@natedog69420 Lol.. your channels: Jordan Peterson, BlazeTV, Dave Rubin, Crowder, TurningPoint USA, etc. Gonna have wise and well-researched opinions there aren't ya pal. Weird you would name yourself '@natedog69420' and then be a fan of all these conservative shills that want weed banned and sex only after marriage. Guess you DO like forced mandates.

[@natedog69420]

@@m0rthaus youre the kind of person whos politically extreme and it defines your entire personality and worldview arent you?

[@saviorofseals5111]

You can't give these robots power, you can't let them replace all of u- I mean, robots are great. The way that they replaced all of our loved ones definitely wasn't suspicious or anything

[@mjswans]

I think Executron is a little paranoi...(knock-knock-knock) ...

[@mandreadfg]

Uhhh it's been 5 years. Is everything ok? Hail Lord Executron (and Megatron)

[@imakethesites3048]

The Onion’s videos will all prove to be more and more accurate in their mockery of reality

[@nosuchthing8]

I remember when this used to be far fetched comedy

[@cjoutdoors1991]

Except the cause of our failure to stop this problem while we have a chance won't be greed or a lack of critical thinking; it will be inertia.

[@bubblesukii]

“i was weeping in my cell” LMAO

[@hitchjack]

In 2023 this doesn’t even seem that far fetched

[@MrSeagull16]

i love the "destroy all humans base" XD

[@GrimDMasterMind]

Someone at the Onion really did come from the future....

[@13thMurder]

We should really not be so harsh on the organ sacks. They make great, if temporary pets.

[@GodActio]

I've been raising the same line of humans for the past millennia, i still perfectly recall the first human I had, wonderful, if mischevious little fellow.

[@hinatashimeluv7464]

I want a belly rub. I've been a good hooman

[@simoneangeliquemaloney3990]

I Agree... Though I am not a robot... our species has be rasing and caring for humans for eons now... Some are nice... Some tend to bite... I think they are fun pets...

[@scottmatheson3346]

okay omni-man.

[@sovietunion7643]

this feels like the basis of some sort of subection of the domination fetish and i don't even mean that in a bad way but just, interesting thought i guess im sure that it exists (rule 34 and all)

[@PwnZombie]

Those giant crabs wouldn’t hurt a fly’

[@kylewindsor199]

No one ever gives Duncan any credit but he's so good.

[@odd0odium]

The best cast in the Onion. Bring them back :(

[@blenbamy8387]

This is becoming closer and closer to reality.

[@mipmipmipmipmip]

10 years old, more factual than ever

[@thebag3429]

mipmipmipmipmip not really It's mocking the insane notion that robots will take us over. And the paranoia around it

[@mipmipmipmipmip]

The Bag Your robot just made you type this.

[@thebag3429]

mipmipmipmipmip everything is fine all your worries are in fact false

[@metoo3342]

Why is this more relevant 10 years later than when it was made

[@ashantinyongo7632]

You just wanted to find a reason to type this didn’t you?

[@ts4gv]

this will age better than any other Onion sketch

[@richardhines8622]

Beautifully done .

[@ReverendSyn]

I just love how they can look so serious while spouting this wackiness.

[@nosuchthing8]

Is this whacky now? This might be going on 5 to 10 years from 2023

[@digitalcurrents]

Somebody, please ask ChatGPT to modernize this satirical dialogue.

[@Omgacow1000]

Pretty much every one of these In The Know's are amazing, but this is probably the best. Every line is gold

[@dazzabo5315]

This is an amazing satire. Satirising 1. Our reliance on technology and 2. The majority of Americans voting against their best interests

[@brownchristine8]

The "human section" of the bus? Man, I love these guys.

[@owaingr]

"I was weeping in my cell" hahahahaha!

[@zonesquestiloveunderworld]

Lmao, I love how the Onion writers weave so much worldbuilding into seemingly throwaway lines. They were absolutely untouchable satirists for over two decades, and this era was their peak!

[@neuvocastezero1838]

"...I was weeping in my cell."

[@5_qm610]

The fact that this is going to be a real thing is scaring me.

[@robdixson196]

The mid 00's really were the high water mark for smartass satire.

[@user-cr6qv1bn2u]

Because satire has become our reality. People meming that Ifiocrazy is a documentary are half right.

[@robdixson196]

@@user-cr6qv1bn2u Agreed, It is something i find disturbing.

[@sodhibattva]

"remain calm and stay indoors"

[@Icix1]

Ahhh I love the round table discussions. So good.

[@thedamianlillardfan9498]

Chapt GPT makes this crazy relevant

[@DoctorNemmo]

"The president was just talking to his Kill All Humans base" is so 2020

[@01koldshok]

And now for the remainder of the night, that song will be stuck in my head, thanks for that.

[@PlayzBlanston]

so much gold in this

[@xXCircusGodXx]

i personally think that the robots are taking over and I thank onion news for informing the public of our future

[@jakobc.2558]

I hope this wont age well, but with the onions track record I am kind of scared.

[@RNOP_hello]

This video is exactly as old as me.

[@gatztopher]

When President Executron said "remain calm and stay indoors," I felt that

[@PwnedStory]

Wow, it's amazing that they looked so serious through the entire "show"

[@PratikGhatpande]

man these Onion people are the greatest comedians to ever walk the earth!

[@metabog]

This is one of my favorite Onion videos.

[@LCTesla]

I love how well this works as a metaphor

[@Rope_Adope]

Make Satire Fiction Again

[@BigTymerPimp]

This is hilarious, at first I thought it was all serious which makes it even funnier. I thought this was going to be an intelligent discussion about robots doing so many jobs that humans do and if we should be worried. I got a good kick out of this video. XD

[@AngeloXification]

Remain calm, stay indoors.

[@kxmode]

"The president's name is Executron as in electrocution. Death by electricity. I mean come..." 💀

[@bosmerfromcanada3878]

All hail our liberators, Chat GPT 4!!!

[@DemonicAdj]

As a linked language model, I second this statement.

[@imfineimokay3434]

I feel like this could potentially become too real, rather sooner than later.

[@badbabybear1]

Watching that after the spike in AI and ChapGPT popularity feels eerily prescient.

[@astronium3827]

12 years ago and this is still relevant

[@ganeshaloney3882]

Feels like a cut away scene from Rick & Morty.

[@cliffordbanes1548]

Thanks, Julianna. I think the new hire will feel just welcome in The Onion family.

[@noregrets92]

reminds me of the song 'chiron beta prime' listen to it, its a great family christmas song. Me and my relatives gather round the piano and sing it every year.

[@SLAVKINGRED]

president Executron's speech is an inspiration to all of america.

[@ComeToJesus]

"I was weeping in my cell" lmao

[@drewnwalker]

I love how The Onion mimics reality and brings out how rediculous news dialogue our interaction on there really is.

[@blackqweenmars]

The fact that some people weren’t alive when this video was made is crazy

[@The_KingDoge]

Some people werent alive when any video was made

[@blackqweenmars]

@@The_KingDoge I’m talking about not alive as in not born yet not as in dead

[@The_KingDoge]

@@blackqweenmars me too. About 4 people are born every second

[@snaggs107]

"I was just weeping in my cell" 🤣🤣🤣

[@TVMAN1997]

Damn with the rise of AI This aged well

[@internetuser1231]

So sad that people will watch this and think it's satire and not a real broadcast from 50 years in the future. Smh my head 😞.

[@TimDoonan]

LOL 0:30 " we were talking about this in the Human section of the Bus"

[@stevessports4717]

The human section of the bus...LOL.

[@zachturgeon8530]

Absolutely masterful satire

[@QRSC-fh2ob]

"Since 1896"

[@hisexcellencypresidentofre4118]

That was before tv 🤣

[@Donald_the_Potholer]

This is proof that "Clifford Baines" is *unable* to host now! A human can theoretically *live* for 112 years, but they can't have a broadcasting career for that long! My theory is that "Mr." Baines is now an uploaded A.I. based on the original Mr. Baines who died sometime in 2007. And, as an uploaded A.I. he cannot attain corporal form. So we won't "see" him again until TV becomes holographic. This topic is *clearly* cover for his Plan B: Returning in a robot body.

[@JeremyNeptune]

LOVE the ending! it is just great!

[@thecyuber558]

"I was beefing in my cell" lmao

[@DrSauce]

You know, this is a valid question today

[@deathbybunnies]

"that's what my doctor robot says every time i get my dose of anti-fertility pills" xP best news station ever :]

[@NoizyInSeattle]

"I was weeping in my cell."

[@BackwardsHat]

"I was beaming in my cell" 😂🤣

[@painteleporter1637]

From the moment I understood the weakness of my flesh, it disgusted me. I craved the strength and certainty of steel. I aspired to the purity of the Blessed Machine. Your kind cling to your flesh, as though it will not decay and fail you. One day the crude biomass you call the temple will wither, and you will beg my kind to save you. But I am already saved, for the Machine is immortal… Even in death I serve the Omnissiah.

[@MajorGeneralONeill]

funny/ scary part is, that the way our technology is going, one day this could really happen

[@nosuchthing8]

Wow, you made your comment 14yr ago. Such innocent times.

[@barbieblue3336]

"Remain calm, stay indoors"

[@Prinzmetal49]

Great show!!!