MAN SCRIPTS - How to Never Get In Trouble With Her Again

MAN SCRIPTS - How to Never Get In Trouble With Her Again - Ultra Spiritual Life Ep. 177
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The number one mistake men make that gets them in trouble with their lady is speaking their own thoughts. But with MAN Scripts, you'll avoid conflict and keep her happy by telling her what she wants to hear. Your relationship will be happier than ever once you implement MAN Scripts!

[@Dannon1111]

I made my wife watch this and now she's pissed lol

[@Fallen-Saint]

She shouldn't have hold it in

[@Dannon1111]

@@Fallen-Saint I should have acknowledged her feelings and recognized I am an ass rather than asking her "are you hormonal already? damn, that month went by fast..."

[@ben-si3dk]

I thought about sharing it with my wife for about a second and then decided it wasn’t worth the risk:).

[@hanarielgodlike9283]

Duuudes... you should think if this relationship is really doing any good.

[@jennag3226]

Really? I found this hilarious.

[@EtzEchad]

Remember: She doesn't want to hear your opinion. She wants to hear HER opinion in a deeper voice.

[@GAMESTERVISION]

No more true words in earth. Besides EPSTEIN DIDN'T KILL HIMSELF.

[@215ILLicit]

You are wise

[@hermask815]

that's more easier to memorize than his long scripts.

[@Xibyth]

Herm Ask well, considering words like ok make females rage grow 6784% they have to be long.

[@hermask815]

Xibyth You.. you.. You mean if she says 100 words, I don't just rephrase her 100 words in my low timbre (what I guess the OP meant) but I have to come up with ,say, 5000 words to make her content?

[@johnvane5240]

I used to have a miserable life. Thanks to JP and manscripts I now have a miserable life but my reading has improved. Thanks JP.

[@HeroesHoshi]

Need help. I don't know what manuscript to use whenever I encounter a problem. Last time she talked about her hair, and I pulled the "I love her side of the family" manuscript

[@johnvane5240]

@@HeroesHoshi I tried colour coding the scripts but I ran out of primary colours before I ran out of manscripts and there’s no way I’m walking down the lime green, light green, road.

[@will-ob7pr]

I bought 5 copys.

[@annebianca6626]

😅

[@ferdinandhoessler4861]

😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@Drewsterman777]

Before Man Scripts, I was friend zoned by one female. Now I am friend zoned by all females because I am agreeable and likeable. Thank you Man Scripts for expanding my friend zone circle.

[@abrakadabra6368]

🤣😂

[@MrsScott-bx8sb]

You win best comment!

[@justinnamuco9096]

Better than no friends

[@G0L0V0L0MKEE]

​@@justinnamuco9096NU

[@chiragarjun3270]

u didn't read the instructions carefully this is for married people not for single😆

[@BilderbergCEO]

He already lost by not noticing her new haircut before she asked.

[@eliasblencowe5654]

LOL!! 😂

[@bradengle3491]

Hey man you can't always be right. You passed the fail test. Therefore you failed.

[@LaffeeTaffeeGG]

I won'tlie, I've gotten a haircut and asked my boyfriend what he thought of it. I feel like it was pretty justified though because I went from having long hair almost to my waist to basically a pixie cut. And he didn't like it. So I'm growing it back out again because honestly the only response that I care about is the "I don't like it" response.

[@wurzlgaming]

absolutely what an amateur

[@getdown8990]

This one gets it!!!

[@talldave1000]

Before "Man Scripts" I was a loser with women, and they all disagreed with me. Now I'm a loser that women agree with. Thank you Man Scripts.

[@sarahrobertson634]

Ahahahahahahaha!!! You're hilarious.

[@erniebuchinski3614]

Stand tall, Tall Dave!

[@Leanzazzy]

:(

[@DucknCoverin]

Yaaaaaaas! I never realized all the non sex I was missing out on until I got man scripts and became her best friend. Now she tells me about all her good times in the bedroom with Chad, who doesn’t have time to listen to her complain. Me and my dominant hand have never been closer. Thank you Man Scripts indeed!

[@Pom13s1]

Lol sorry!!!

[@Illinois_Steve]

I need a MAN SCRIPT! I was sitting on the couch, minding my own business, when the wife walked in and asked "What's on TV?" Apparently, "dust" was the wrong answer!

[@twinflamesunite9954]

😂🤣

[@thatryanp]

This is why we have children. So we have an outlet for Dad jokes

[@rimrunz1795]

LOLOLOL

[@gehlesen559]

☠️

[@realityfitnessfyt4lyfe248]

Ouch... 'dust' was definitely not the correct response....lol Are you still sleeping with your dog?

[@kevindwan]

Woman: “I won’t talk to him all day, that way he’ll know I’m mad at him!” Man: “What a lovely, peaceful day.”

[@lighthouse_23_]

That is the exact opposite of what my husband would say, he much rather talk about every disagreement as it deepens our bond.

[@leoxd7029]

@@lighthouse_23_ the point is he wouldn't know you're mad since you haven't told him yet and probably won't for hours and you expect him to smell that there is a problem with something he did.

[@lighthouse_23_]

@@leoxd7029 I guess some people do that. I explain to my husband why I am angry and we talk about everything.

[@azaldie]

@@lighthouse_23_ This is the correct way of doing it :) Communication!

[@heartattackjack9349]

The pain from the knife in the back thrown by an angry woman because I didn't read the mood! However, it is also why I'm single. I refuse to play that game anymore. I don't have time to play that BS blame game where she's never wrong, and even when she's wrong, she still isn't wrong. The bitch epidemic is in full swing, and I have no intention of getting infected again.

[@ujfuentes1]

When he looks at her after reading the script and his soul is gone it's legendary.

[@thomasvanwely]

He do be a ginger.

[@markusaurelius83]

I want to like your comment, but you are at 69 likes and I don't want to ruin your day.

[@citigirl]

Cracked me up.

[@chrissmartin4137]

My boobs are getting bigger, am I fat? Well, my boner is getting bigger too, lets share our fatness together?

[@truthfulpatriot9129]

@@markusaurelius83 🤣

[@gravypatron]

My wife texted me at work and asked me if I thought she was fat. I texted "Nooooo". But autocorrect changed it to "Moooo" just before I sent it. Anyone got a couch?

[@bryku]

Fs in chat boys. Another man has fallen to evil yet again.

[@YHWH101]

John Pappan 😂

[@lorcis1]

you just gave me the best laugh

[@norahkittensocks486]

LOL

[@losnamerales3403]

😂🤣😂🤣🤣🤣😂

[@andreajofre5895]

Before "Man Scripts" I always argued with my boyfriend, for different reasons, I could never make him understand that I was right no matter what, but now he really understands me and I feel fulfilled

[@vperez2598]

😆

[@cl8wnm5n]

🤣🤣🤣

[@markusaurelius83]

But only until you will eventually realize that he became too tame and spineless for your liking and you start noticing the handsome man in the neighbourhood who's driving that needlessly loud motorcycle. It's annoying but also irritating in a good way. Weird.

[@teresacroft7409]

He should do an infomercial for his scripts. This is so funny. This guy is a comic genius. Would love for him to get a comedy special on tv 😂

[@pffftuhsuh]

“Spending $1100 to save $250 is a brilliant way to save money. “ Lmao

[@theredneckalien5964]

Yah, must work for the Pentagon. ;-D

[@paulk5311]

not sure why women think that is saving money. my wife will tell me she bought something she did not need because it was on sale so she saved money by buying it. i tried telling her the truth but she does not listen so i just tell my son instead. that way if he ever does decide to get married he will know what to expect.

[@cadenrolland5250]

@@paulk5311 He needs the Manslator kzbin.info/www/bejne/m6u5mpWVnM6HfNE

[@FlowUrbanFlow]

Literally woman logic

[@FlyMIfYouGotM]

I just tell her, "great! How about you giving me all of that money You saved".

[@nelsonclub7722]

My girlfriend told me I only have two faults - which was nice - apparently it's everything I say, and everything I do

[@inconnu4961]

Dont you feel so much better now that she told you? Ok thats enough gloating, now get to work on them faults!!!!

[@maranatha1118]

😂

[@sprodge83]

Now you know what to Change =) perfect , just get it done , to easy hehe

[@nelsonclub7722]

@Tucker Latham Whose side you on man? You're just making it worse.....

[@nelsonclub7722]

@Tucker Latham Good. Just don't try that trick with an actual female.Your brain will melt.

[@amyjeanbelk7561]

Thank you for everyone's satircal comments. You've increased the humor of this skit for me😂

[@matthewdotson7730]

The way he just picks up the paper each time is priceless😂😂😂😂

[@realityfitnessfyt4lyfe248]

And the look on his face...lol

[@JackHHartnett]

The way you read the script lol

[@AwakenWithJP]

I'm a good reader. And it was heartfelt ❤️

[@warpnin3]

so respectful.😄 As you should!! (My girlfriend was reading along over my shoulder. She just left.)

[@vinissues4634]

Ut seems the seminars a present

[@Alphacentauri819]

S S maybe the fact that it as “meathole” addiction was the problem in the first place?!? If you see a woman as that, and that only...that myopic approach will automatically make you see any peripheral parts seem annoying, pointless or “dramatic”. Women’s wiring and processing isn’t something they chose, just as much as their external appeal... it’s how they are made. You’re missing the biggest opportunity of all... it’s like having a car body without the engine and thinking it should work. Sure, the way a man thinks and views the world may have validity...but by themselves the views are incomplete... it’s like going to the beach and there’s no ocean, only sand. It’s like your favorite recipe with no spices, it totally alters the outcome. You are missing the point. Women aren’t on earth to serve and meet your every need, if that’s what you believe..than no wonder you’re MGTOW. It’s a warped paradigm and you’ve given up in futility. If you adjust to reality, you have a better chance of having actual connection and relationship with someone who respects and admires you.. You have to see the benefit of a woman outside of a meat hole🙄 Just like a woman who is a gold digger would need to change her messed up view and see a man as more than a $$. Both sides are toxic and on the same coin. Each of the genders is here to grow, learn, evolve and see DIFFERENT than they already do. A good partner can mirror the things we need to change and be better... if you just are looking for someone to be a version of you, agreeing always and doing only what you want...that’s not a relationship. Would you want someone like that? I imagine not. I find many who are MGTOW, are very empathy deficient and tend to believe false narratives about themselves and women. They aren’t seeing the big wake up calls to change themselves and instead go the coward road of blaming women (for being women) and avoiding their true deep desires and wall off and say MGTOW... I hope you healing and true insight into yourself and women...

[@pucioy]

How would you read something what you cannot understand at all ? Imagine reading Chinese poem or something like that.

[@painisvergina3693]

Lmao 🤣 this guy is a comedic genius, I love the emotionless script read

[@aliciagraham3401]

I like that the eye contact is scripted too. I can just imagine "look at her eyes" in the script. 🤣

[@lukefairs2088]

You can see his soul dying as he reads it haha

[@tommytomtom5531]

He's an animal

[@abumzbum1869]

Haha your name...

[@ForHimDating]

As a western psychologist and international matchmaker here in Ukraine, this vid is the most truthful hilarious reality check I ever watch. God bless you! You make an outstanding work. You got me!!! 👍

[@shelbyhunkler9259]

As an older wife who is no longer bleeding but still hysterical I endorse this brilliant product.

[@Supremax67]

It is also weird that this is the same script as the butt kissing script I received.

[@LA-cm9uo]

Underrated comment

[@youtubelearning2990]

This knowledge only used to be verbal. Passed on from father to son from father to son. Now it’s available on KZbin for the masses. You are a gift to the world, thank you.

[@aussieinkorea593]

Jokes on him, I'm not buying the scripts because I just wrote them down whilst watching the video.

[@willowsband1]

lol

[@janneels7873]

Jokes on you. They're free.

[@naps_]

Another hack; just screen record all of them individually and play them according to the situation that way you dont even have to speak. JP does all the work for you AND technically takes the heat for you

[@TannerCLynn]

What you gonna do without the cold shoulder script!

[@braindeveloperdimensional5579]

I visited the link and even after signing the newsletter I did not get them.

[@Nickos1b]

"Men, have you ever gotten in trouble with your lady because you communicated rationally?" 😂😂😂 Off to a great start!

[@aymanlockhartable]

Triple H!?

[@BlueEyedMomof378]

@gruntydatsun Wow. If buttering toast was to loud for her, tell her to get ear plugs. That's a little ridiculous. I mean, unless you were buttering it over her sleeping head, right next to her ear. In that case I'd be pissed about buttery crumbs in my hair though. Not the sound.

[@ssjwes]

@@BlueEyedMomof378 hahaha

[@JJames7]

I know I am in real trouble when mine responds rationally and logically...it so scares me I cower and know I messed up. Any other time I try reason...I just simply say "no" to everything and she gets me...she doesn't like it but she respects my consistency!

[@RootzRockBand]

Bullwinkle Eats Vegemite If you look up narcissist in the urban dictionary, it says “most women”.

[@dontask-plz]

"my family is dead to me" just made my day.. that's exactly what my wife wants me to think

[@Tom-zy6ke]

Before I discovered Man Scripts, upsetting my wife was OK because I could simply tell the wife to shut up and stop being hysterical, and go down the pub for a pint with my mates" (note that in the UK a "pint" of beer = 1 US gallon). Now thanks to man scripts I can spend more time with my wife as a friendless emasculated shadow of my former self, useful only as an ATM and beast of burden addicted to anti-depressants, and praying for the sweet release of death. Thanks man scripts!

[@SewingBoxDesigns]

😭 1 pint = 1Gallon? 😳

[@Tom-zy6ke]

@@SewingBoxDesigns Figure of speech, when you say I'm just popping out for a pint, it always seems to end up up being at least 8, but if you tell your wife you're just popping out for a gallon she won't take it well.......

[@manofthetombs]

lmao!

[@spiceboyog9083]

Thankfully now that I discovered Man-Scripts, I can go through hell with a manual guide.

[@MsLaurenPanda]

You sound miserable. Why are you still there? Masochist? You do realize your life is your own? Although why hasn't she left? Must be something good keeping you both together..

[@sahamal_savu]

I threw out my man scripts years ago and settled for a general "I don't know" and grunting.

[@peachysquirrely]

Michael Nightingale sounds like my bf lol

[@brandonriggs1788]

Six years into this marriage and that is where I am at. Ha!

[@11cylynt11]

The ol’ “yes dear” works for me.

[@Tanahmera]

hahahahaaaa

[@hettiesimpson]

😂😂😂

[@Ryuksgelus]

Then she cheated and divorced him for being too agreeable.

[@johnydoe8636]

And the Judge gave her half of everything he worked his ass off for and then added alimony on top of that, oh she didn’t have healthcare from you anymore so the Judge also says you gotta pay for half of the years you were married for her individual policy ......... real Laws in Connecticut, don’t ask me how I found out......😳

[@SolaGratia.]

@@johnydoe8636 And then they all lived happily ever after. 💕❤️💞

[@johnydoe8636]

Stephie Calligraphy Except the guy he lives in his parents basement contemplating suicide.....

[@SolaGratia.]

@@johnydoe8636 I guess that's why I was being sarcastic..

[@johnydoe8636]

Stephie Calligraphy Hahahahahaha ya got me, me and my wife were recently going to go through with a divorce. We agreed on exactly what we both wanted and everything was all worked out just needed to be drafted up. Her Lawyer was saying no take him through the grinder and get more than half she said no he’s been a fantastic father and a good husband why would I wanna hurt him like that he said because you can. She actually called me up and said let’s fire both Attorneys and start over after we both spent 4K each. Then we find out they both know each other go to the same golf course practice in the same area and both kept trying to drag it into court...... we relieved them of their extortion and still have to seek new Lawyers, nothing but a legal organized extortion syndicate enriching themselves upon people and there’s absolutely nothing you can do they charge $300 per hour and can name their own price and if you disagree go pound sand..... this is exactly why marriage is in free fall men are simply not marrying because ultimately it’s is us who lose......

[@Juber777]

That New Hair script is the best 🤣😂😁😃 Solid compliments that can easily rearrange words...

[@lucabiagini7047]

Instant subscription. This is epically hilarious although true at the same time. You are a legend. The face at the end of each reading in a genuine disbelieve that anything could work and waiting for her reaction is fantastic!!!

[@joeblack3185]

Before Man Scripts, I was a fool to believe I was entitled to an opinion. I now realise, if my wife wanted me to have an opinion, she would have given me one. Thank you!

[@thatonemothafacko]

Now you’re getting it!

[@thetruthyes]

I hope you're joking. This feminism is a joke. Why can't we have a rational conversation anymore. Why do men act like a kid when the wife says something. I laugh at men like this when I meet them.

[@thatonemothafacko]

@@thetruthyes the truth. The truth is…that you should be able to tell we are all joking. Especially jp, and the commenter, and myself.

[@kerrycrook1478]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@HazyGoat920]

This script works so well it teaches core values and takes them away to give to her. it's genius!

[@eclectictraveler9073]

"It will be an honor to pay the credit card bill this month" hahaha Genius

[@Xia-hu]

also pretty sexist, considering a lot of women actually DO WORK.

[@FJDH11]

Has she dump you yet?

[@angrytheclown801]

@@Xia-hu How is it sexist? 1100 bucks for one person's clothes is ridiculous unless it's tailor made. Plus I don't know anyone that can afford to drop thousands of dollars on clothing.

[@richardchambers3533]

@@FJDH11 if he was lucky!🤣🤣🤣

[@rjd0429]

@@Xia-hu Why can't you SJW's just learn to laugh once in awhile? This so-called "woke culture" has taken all the joy out of everything!

[@allom3069]

OMG the bachelor script is so on point and accurate!! Thank you for your courage!!🙏

[@livingood1049]

Dude! I rolled!! The look on your face each time before you reached for the script was priceless! What a lifesaver..

[@phantomlord067]

I love how broken he sounds when he starts reading, especially in the one about money

[@matthewdoverty1341]

Ye, "I'd be happy to pay the credit card bill, and any future bills" hahahaha

[@gracechapman3412]

Oh Lord. This is absolutely priceless. I am laughing. my ass off.

[@darrenrobinson9041]

He dies inside a little every time he has to reaxch for a script.

[@w8ing4someday]

His facial expressions are priceless

[@biancadistefano7612]

Love the stare he gives after delivering the speech! 😂

[@Edzward]

"General instability of solid state matter" I lost it.

[@analystzorncasteel3047]

Yes that is hilarious! 😆

[@aion2177]

Come here to the comments only to see this one🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@PetitHibou72]

Edz Ward Guilty as charged, and yes that line was pure genius!! 💥

[@John-zc4rz]

This is quite possibly the funniest thing you have ever done. Thanks I need to memorize some of your script’s but not all I would be in serious trouble. Thanks

[@buckbuchanan4902]

JP, you are comedy GOLD!!! Every time I begin to feel a little lonely and think I need to find a woman, I just remember how miserable I was every time I had one in my life. The soul crushing look on your face as you read the manscript is a great reminder that it is better to be yourself and alone, than to be a human puppet with a woman!

[@victoriakeddington5324]

Not gonna lie, the hair cut script was exsactly on point.

[@genli5603]

My husband looked like a kicked puppy the last time I got a massive haircut. Poor thing! Lol. He said he’d like it. He was wrong.

[@jefffredenburg7231]

I've actually use that line before, it works. LOL

[@T25de]

Bukakke

[@rgsmith71]

It was close. We're supposed to notice it immediately and then comment.

[@porchturds8149]

Fuck you

[@Loki087]

"I think both of our lives will undoubtedly change for the better because of your new hair" Has me dying

[@jenniferv.1810]

That one and when he says the part about looking into her eyes and just looks up and opens his eyes really fast lmaoo

[@joeblow1830]

My girl asks me about this all the time. Do it however you want, I’m not the one rockin the cut.

[@inconnu4961]

@@jenniferv.1810 LMAO! priceless!

[@jaystarr6571]

Yeah...But why do women get so concerned about their hairstyles, though? Wear it how you want. Nobody cares. *AND* I can prove it. Do you care about other people's hairstyles???

[@edwardmedeiros5464]

OMG this is the absolute best Funniest and true video I've seen yet!! I've been talking about "Man Scripts" for years... seems like every time you get a fight with your Female counterpart they always have a script of words you should have said to make them feel better. I tell my GF that all the time. Well honey next time we fight please write my script so I don't say anything you don't want to hear... thank you for making this video. I have never laughed so hard. I was in tears and my ribs were killing me

[@usborn8388]

Lol ! This is a real sincere way to keep your relationship in great shape ! I had tears of joy!

[@habanero5866]

If a man is alone in a forest and there’s no woman around... is he still “wrong”?

[@Evanderj]

Algiz Rune No. it’s glorious for a man to be alone in the forest. He is absolutely right.

[@HippieP629]

lol

[@TranscendTheSun]

My favorite rune

[@tyronebiggums1047]

no, the man in the forest is once again smart. he then builds civilization and all the modern comforts, then women come along after everything is done for them and start complaining that men enjoy more things in that civilization......................

[@habanero5866]

Seb Walsh , “wrong” to a woman or women

[@halfon005]

He's already in trouble cause his hair is nicer than hers

[@APBAChatter]

Randy Johnson hair without the perm.

[@Limosethe]

Here's the ❤️ you deserve from the creator.

[@betterworld1]

thats faf.

[@Toxodos]

@apba boots with the fur?

[@Netherwolf6100]

islanti that's about right

[@srilah7042]

man this cracks me up so hard 😂😂😂 beside the actual script his way of reading the scripts was literally so on point! Love ya man😂

[@anilkapoor1655]

"Spending 1100 dollars to save 250 dollars" was the most epic line!!

[@vinnyjamea96]

That pausing for a moment to grab your script is hilarious

[@rmason5477]

👍🤣🤣🤣

[@everydayliving1975]

I always said it is not a sale if you do not need it. Never worked.

[@derekschwartz6921]

My wife when seeing this video. "Haha, that's funny. Good thing I'm not like that." ME: "..................."

[@julianbasse]

Feel you bro

[@Jefleopard]

Lol

[@BobC59]

Safe play!

[@TheTwister789]

Don't! Get a manscript quick!

[@federicog.7655]

bruh

[@darilynadams7281]

This had me giggling in fits. You poor chap! Happy wife, happy life! [From an Aussie]

[@TopoGigio555]

Oh my gosh, I don’t know what is funnier…the video or the comments! Thank you guys, you made my day!

[@cdreamworld]

This guy is giving away the secrets of the universe for free here.

[@nickgoodwood4812]

He would be filthy rich if he didn't do it😁

[@antiglobaljoel532]

“My failure to conform to stereotypical male gender roles while ‘we’ refuse to let you be held hostage by a single stereotypical female gender role shows my weakness in character.” 😆

[@dharmadharma3960]

I'm dead 😂

[@Mommyof425]

My favorite!

[@brianmercado2968]

Best skit since dave chapelle show

[@pdk213]

Loved that.

[@bbearsmama]

I loved this one so much, too! I'm all about equality until I see a bug in the house!!

[@Wellreadneck22]

I'd rather live dangerously and tell her what I honestly think. It's been an exciting 30 years with her! Great video... the intro was hilarious

[@tedmarakas2626]

31 for me....

[@talibibrahim1117]

Thanks. You guys wrote great comments. I can laugh all week long.

[@middler5212]

The pauses to make eye contact... 😂

[@tylerbrown3135]

Me giving a presentation to class

[@dis4815]

The pauses are probably scripted as well, or should be...! It'd be even funnier if J.P. accidently read out "Pause for five seconds here, then briefly make eye contact before resuming reading aloud".

[@coolramone]

😂😂😂 This is the funniest video.

[@kaitb07]

Every single wife watching this, "honey You dont need one of those right?!" Husband...pulls out script, "oh course not honey, you would never treat me like that. Our love it deeper and stronger then all the rest...I'll go take out the garbage and fold the laundry now".

[@claucemicro1080]

Kaitlyn Boffey 😂

[@helenacorreia7613]

This comment paired with your profile pic is pure gold haha

[@mustafahusseinmakarov]

🤣

[@blesslie323]

Ha😭

[@bdb1052]

lol this is great!

[@deenoberry3360]

My wife sent me this and I'm getting my script for Christmas to start the year off right. Bring on 2023!

[@lilachart6371]

Had no idea of what to buy my husband for our anniversary..golf clubs ? Tickets to his favourite game ? ..just seemed so boring . Then Hallelujah found this and Man scripts ! So excited for him to get these he's gonna love them ❤

[@sisawebit2916]

Question. If a man says something in a forest and there is no lady there to hear it, is he still wrong?

[@jerrykorman7770]

Yup.

[@lyndonjohnson2373]

Sis Awebit 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@apetty5918]

Yes. Yes he is

[@MrMagnum7220]

If a man washes a dish a nobody is around to see it, did it happen?

[@jerrykorman7770]

MrMagnum7220 nope, we’re still wrong

[@forgetaboutit1069]

“Before I met my wife, I always felt incomplete; now I’m finished” - Norm Macdonald RIP Norm 9/14/21

[@iseegood5609]

Hooray! Norm is the best at being the best comedian, because he makes me laugh my funniest laugh.

[@txrazor2643]

Rest in peace Norm.

[@etp1325]

Lol

[@tonyg490]

You sure that's not a Rodney Dangerfield joke? That 100% sounds like his joke.

[@forgetaboutit1069]

@@tonyg490 yes, I’m sure but you are right it was inspired by Rodney kzbin.info/www/bejne/iGq8kqafbp6hY9E

[@Norm475]

I just discovered your channel and I am going to subscribe. You are funny. The best humor is ones that have some truth to them.

[@tomarnold7284]

I hope this man makes a million! He should setup a MAN SCRIPTS app and charge people for subscription!

[@lavaguava2648]

"Men. Have you ever gotten in trouble with your lady cuz you communicated rationally?" best quote ever. edit: this is a joke and i am not implying that women are across the board irrational. i think real life problems like this come from a lack of understanding rather than one being rational and the other being irrational.

[@meganlayton2860]

😂

[@metaljacket8128]

LMAO

[@babkeebabkus8177]

@@metaljacket8128 here we all are going on about covid but the elephant in the room is just how messed up women are

[@Yata69]

I always get into more trouble being logical than having sex with my GF!

[@gbsailing9436]

@@babkeebabkus8177 Meanwhile, here in Australia, we have two States controlled by two women where the borders back up to each other! 🤣🤣🤣

[@everydaybodybuilding2282]

The general instability of solid state matter is fundamental to any successful relationship

[@PraetorGix]

As in, you just have to wait her molecules fall prey to entropy and she dies? Sounds reasonable.

[@jesusdiscipledon1499]

Everyday Bodybuilding Fuckin’ Aye right, it is. I’m a Christian, if it isn’t against the laws of physics and nature, I can’t have faith in it. I love baby Jesus, FOOTBALL from AMERICA, wearing 8” stilettos when no one is watching... Wearing 8” stilettos while no one is watching!?

[@sillyme8185]

Wait... Poop? 🤔

[@sillyme8185]

I’m confused...

[@kukumaku6498]

Love it. Love it. You're amazing, JP

[@-Kailinn-]

He looks so happy, and fulfilled thanks to the awe inspiring, amazing energy she brings to his life with her beauty, intellect, and incredible attitude. What a catch, you go girl, wow I sure am jealous.

[@3fl1ppp]

He dies a little bit inside with every script he reads just look at his eyes 😂

[@bicanoo_magic3452]

Well wouldn't you???

[@jezebulls]

It’s comes of slightly sarcastic lol

[@dbergerac9632]

It's better this way. It always end in death, why would he want to argue all the way to the grave?

[@andipandi5641]

yes.. in that way it reflects a truth about the world that some men live in today - in the same way that this video is a poignant picture of how many women found themselves living their lives - seventy years ago: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aaGnY2d3bZprfMU

[@jf8461]

And sadly in the end she dumps him because "he's not the man he used to be."

[@gijoey5912]

"I apologize for not putting the toilet seat down after using the restroom. I realize the responsibility lies on me, and me alone, to put the seat up before urinating, and down, afterwards. To assume you would put the seat down for yourself is not only selfish of me, it is downright insulting, bordering on dangerous."

[@samuelaander6516]

Wow

[@kimberlywarren6102]

If a woman forgets to put the seat back up for you, YOIR ass does NOT fall into the water in the middle of the night. JS

[@pcoleman2562]

@@kimberlywarren6102 Haha that's true. Although once my wife put the cover all the way down and I shit on a closed toilet. So, that's her fault of course.

[@bjbobbijo5066]

Having had daughters it is actually important to try and remember to keep the seat ring down because their young minds (let's say like a potty trained to 7 year old and even older) may not always remember to pull the ring down before they sit on the potty and then their privates fall into the dirty toilet water. As we all know females have exposed mucus membranes at their privates which would make getting an infection from that toilet water too easy. Other wise yeah grown women should be just as responsible to remember to put the ring up as men should remember to put it down. Ya know, a mutual respect thing. Although if a man really has it going on shouldn't he be able to aim it just right and therefore not need to worry about putting the ring up? ;) This is one of my favorite JP videos. I totally love the humor in it.

[@0ldCat]

I pee sitting down. Less effort, more comfort, no mess. I'm a dude, btw. Try it. You may like it. After all, you don't sh!t standing up, do ya?

[@lovegun2112]

This dudes my new hero!

[@t-bagbagwell1327]

This video has changed my life forever. I can now be myself and speak my mind rather than sounding toxic.

[@dandyandy2046]

I love that silent pause as he reaches for his tried and true script.

[@PiecesMissing]

No no, the hysterical writers did NOT approve the defeated sigh prior to reading the scripts. You also have to enjoy doing it!

[@Joe_Laughs]

This is genius level comedy, & achieved without a single curse word. Quite impressive.

[@0001captainawesome]

Wrong. I'm sure he was cussing up a storm inside his head while talking to his wife lol

[@Harlem55]

Wrong. You seriously need to watch some George Carlin...

[@vanessadobbins2963]

I agree! I love it!

[@everydayliving1975]

It is nice ot to have cuss words in it. Sounds as if they have more intelligence.

[@Harlem55]

@@everydayliving1975 no not really: case in point jimmy Carr

[@joep4224]

Love the pause to look up at her eyes. Reminded me of how I'd do speeches in high school. Looking up from the script only after I'd made some point, then back to the script.

[@szjoin992]

This made my day 🙂 Brilliant!

[@buzzcrushtrendkill]

"..my failure to conform to gender roles that are stereotypically male while we refuse to allow you to be held hostage by a single stereotypical female role.." Brilliant.

[@frankcastle7972]

That was my favorite part because it's so true

[@captainfatbat9557]

That might be the most brilliant line of the video. Non gender conforming women do want men to follow their gender roles in the relationship. Like WTF, double standards anyone ?

[@theofficialultimakchannel3562]

@@captainfatbat9557 No, it's a single standard; the woman does, or doesn't do, and she gets, and avoids, whatever she wants, while the man's responsibility is to take care of the rest. She deserves recognition and fulfillment, while your duty is self-sacrifice. Anything else is obviously blatant subjugation and objectification of women, downright misogyny and testosterone poisoning-induced bigotry. See? And with all that, the woman is still the victim in the relationship because she might have been able to marry someone better, richer, funnier and more understanding than you and thus have the more fulfilling life she deserves. Instead she's stuck with the likes of you; the very definition of imperfection. Thus you owe her everything, and much more besides, because you don't have enough to give her to ever make it even. The mere fact that she tolerates you at all is the proof of her exceptional magnanimity and grace.

[@captainfatbat9557]

​@@theofficialultimakchannel3562 True LOL, women can't tolerate any shortcomings in their husbands while being completely oblivious to their own shortcomings in the relationship. Infact if you tell her her own shortcomings then you're a misogynistic intolerant fool and it becomes a shortcoming in your own nature. There's no winning over women.

[@henmich]

@@captainfatbat9557 Its easy, it's always about power... not equality... Why don't you think women are ever demanding equality in jobs like oil rig workers, or ditch diggers? Only positions of power.

[@BunnaySango]

JP reading scripts like a hostage on an al queda video 🤣

[@rmason5477]

Yeah 🤣🤣😅

[@newguy1612]

You will be seeing a lot more of those in the near future. Long live King Covid Joseph.

[@nervoussips2622]

@@newguy1612 all hail king covid!

[@ArmyWolves]

LMAO @ reading script like an Al Qaeda hostage.

[@jordansifunablog]

That's how it always feels in those situations fr

[@rivayounan2009]

LOL, well done!! You nailed it!!!

[@La4edimension]

died laughing at the part about the bachelor! spot on LOL

[@JustAnAverageWoman69]

My husband loves watching The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. 😂

[@hanarielgodlike9283]

Everytime i feel bad about being single i'll watch this video.

[@CustardBustard]

Being single is great and every relationship proves it

[@JohnRinNoHo]

Watch "Married With Children " also.

[@irondasgr]

@@CustardBustard Not every relationship proves that, dude. Don't dismantle everything.

[@CustardBustard]

@@irondasgr Just a bit of harsh banter but yknow what fair enough

[@yammoyammamoto8323]

@@irondasgr Given enough time - yes - every relationship.

[@nickgoodwood4812]

'Better to dwell in the wilderness, Than with a contentious and angry woman'. Proverbs 21:19

[@obadiahscave]

Amen

[@gardnerberry113]

Hallelujah!!

[@Orcinus1967]

Even an athiest can use that one!

[@shannonwittman950]

and don't forget provisions, like beer.

[@7wt]

I sent that very verse to my exwife who complained that I camped too much. Psh.

[@mrfelix2510]

How could you not love this guy😊

[@CarlosPfister]

Brilliant! I have one small suggestion, as I find it has worked wonders for me. If you add "You are brave" at the end of each one of these, then it makes it 100% foolproof.

[@Jus10-born2Run]

His description of girls on The Bachelor couldn’t be more spot on. “Filling a void due to daddy issues”

[@kevinbest3913]

I LOST IT on that line!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@ATA-wi2lh]

My gf used to tell me "you are tense" out of nowhere. When I told her i was not, she would say i dont want to admit it and gets mad that im dismissing her. ....... Then I get tense

[@LitoGeorge]

Get rid of that crazy making biotch right now. If you don't, you'll regret it in the future. Mine did that and now I'm suffering in a way that is unsustainable

[@josegracias6009]

That's called gas lighting.

[@ALUCARDTWILLIGHT]

Self fulfilling prophecy

[@SpecialistGuava]

Welcome to having a gf.

[@gloriouspopemantom373]

Could this be reverse engineered? You are looking very horny.

[@JayParkMusicInMe]

Honestly this piece is not just great comedy but is a great summary of real issues in this world!!

[@teresacroft7409]

Agreed. We're hard to understand and even harder to get along with. He's telling the truth in a comical way

[@Talk2WandaVision]

LOL the way he looks at her when he first picks up the script and when he finishes reading is HYSTERICAL!!

[@Null_76]

I almost peed myself laughing. The way all expression drains from his face every time he reaches for a script gives the impression that a little more of his soul dies each time. Brilliant.

[@hedgehog1965uk]

I wanted him to look up from the last script after reading it, look straight into the camera and say "Kill me".

[@bryceharney5960]

He is actually showing us what we should be doing in our spare time on occasion. If we were to do this in real life, it would never work. Sincerely, a married dude of 7+ years Who has done it this way to prove a point.

[@hedgehog1965uk]

@@bryceharney5960 I'm guessing that any woman would work out that if you said exactly what she wanted to hear, you were actually taking the piss, so you just can't win (except by being single, like me, or by finding a woman with self awareness and a sense of humour about themselves, like JP).

[@darkmatter931]

the funny thing is thath she is about to cheat on him with an asshole

[@tylersoto7465]

And how he keeps bringing out a piece of paper each conversation lol

[@michealwatts7469]

His face is hilarious when he has to immediately grab a script for each encounter.

[@elitegamer8351]

and when he looks at her after reading with the blank face lol!

[@painisvergina3693]

Micheal Watts agreed, best parts like he couldn’t believe her shit 🤣

[@nonenone4618]

I was a mixture of confusion and absolute terror.

[@tamalyncervin2117]

BUT ARE YOU LOOKING AT HER FACE??? 🙄🙄🙄 go watch her reactions to what he’s saying!!! Sheesh

[@thegreatgatsby5493]

I still can't believe someone talked about these things that I have been wondering for years!

[@conrad8777]

Dude, you super hilarious, love your videos 💯

[@Criminal.Lawyer]

The look on his face between the moment he reaches for the script and the moment he starts reading is the best thing on KZbin

[@lifeinlimbo2186]

I see it on my married friends faces when they are confronted by their wives for just being rational,realistic,honest or for just being themselves. Giving us children does not give them the right to constantly make horrible wasteful spending decisions which are the basis for all financial dept in marriages. A credit card is for emergencies and for gain...NOT SHOPPING and UNNECESSARY SPENDING.

[@Slayerthegreat010]

"I think both of our lives will definitely change for the better thanks to your new hair" absolute gold!!

[@josephspargle]

"... especially knowing that it cost $300"

[@alal2192]

💀

[@laceandribbonsviolin]

When I was younger, I actually thought that! (That my nee hair would change things for the better). But it did😁

[@soup-canharry1054]

Man Scripts has made me the man I am today. Thanks, Man Scripts. Thanks a lot.

[@john-nx4xn]

I actually had a pang of nervousness when she asked how her hair looks... I hope u'll be coming to Pittsburgh sometime soon.

[@GrowYourWealth101]

So i send this to my GF.... Well her response was: "Wait do you really see it this way? Are we really that bad?" There is no script for that man! I am screwed!

[@jamesbishop3898]

Easy, you just tell her she looks fatter than when you first got together.

[@GrowYourWealth101]

@@jamesbishop3898 Yeah sounds like a good idea... haha 😁

[@89thaharmaiiioptreshenanig3]

Here try this, “Obviously, this is just a joke, I thought you might find it funny. However, I didn’t account for the fact that your sense of humor is different from mine. I’m sorry.” Hope it works.

[@newliam5]

@@89thaharmaiiioptreshenanig3 "Are you saying I got NO sense of humour?!" and now you got yourself cornered my friend...

[@89thaharmaiiioptreshenanig3]

Tony_security dang what now

[@poelmeister]

My wife: “does this dress make me look fat?” Me: “Yes.” Wife: -shocked- Me: “But that’s clearly the dress’s fault.” Wife: *full of love* Marriage score: OVER 9000

[@defiant4eva]

It was clearly your eye's fault. Make sure your eyes do better.

[@nitehawk9270]

My wife: “does this dress make me look fat?” Me: “No, the fact that you overeat, don't exercise and are 25 kilos overweight is what makes you look fat. The dress is fine."

[@veronicalane1458]

Wow! High Score!

[@friedmule5403]

@@nitehawk9270 I am not saying my wife is fat, but she came to me the other day, wearing a dress she just found in the closet that she had newer seen before... it was our family tent! :-)

[@nitehawk9270]

@@friedmule5403 That is too much. Also I know your wife's best friend so have just tagged you with this post. Good luck buddy!

[@Berelore]

The "look up at eyes" note during the hair script was priceless.

[@Will-Parr]

Another brilliant episode.

[@heathermozo4328]

Staring at the script "the deep radient beauty I see in your eyes " *look up at her eyes*

[@Dmdm_dm]

Are you a trap or just a lot of make up? You're hot, just asking though

[@Dmdm_dm]

@None Of your Business lol it's just honest

[@1cont]

@None Of your Business it was perfect comedic timing.

[@urjnlegend]

@None Of your Business that's not rude, in today's world, who the fuck knows anymore. Would you have preferred him to assume or politely ask? Your move

[@michaelthorpe661]

Love yoy Heather!!

[@dylanandmolly3739]

As a man that has been married for 29 years, I approve this message.

[@teresacroft7409]

Best response LOL

[@eleanoremusso6575]

😂 I'm so happy you survived.

[@LyraKeltica61]

This is so funny JP you outdid yourself and by the way I'm the one who told my husband about you and he showed me this video today that made me laugh so hard I peed my pants

[@gfy69]

Bro award has been given here. Thanks bro.