How To Say No To Anyone (Without Feeling Guilty)

No is not a conflict word. Saying no can bring many benefits to your life. In today’s video, I share how to say no without feeling guilty.
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This video was created by Barbara Heffernan, LCSW for educational purposes only. These videos are not diagnostic and provide no individual consultation. Consumption of these materials is for your own education and any medical, psychological, or professional care decisions should be made between you and your primary care doctor or another provider that you are engaged with. Barbara Heffernan is not available for individual consultation via KZbin, social media, or email, and provides services only in the manner mentioned above.
Edited by Video Editing Experts
#PeoplePleasing #HowToSayNo #SettingBoundaries
☀️☀️CHAPTERS☀️☀️
0:00 Intro
8:50 Guilt
10:07 The Deeper Emotions

[@milenakljajic8393]

😅 yep, “in my culture” we prefer living in “harmony” (aka walking on eggshells).

[@csmithvenice17]

If you are in a relationship and you can’t say no, then you are in a dysfunctional codependent relationship and you might be better off alone

[@4xzx4]

I also hate it when you wanna say no, you have to come up with an excuse/explanation as to why you are declining their request... We aren't obliged to explain anything, yet some people want an explanation. It's so exhausting.

[@sheilaabrahams1322]

No is a complete sentence.

[@4xzx4]

@@sheilaabrahams1322 Tell that to them...

[@tag7592]

It's especially tough during the holidays to decline an invitation for dinner at Thanksgiving or Christmas. I always struggle with this. Thank you.

[@llkellenba]

I may not get an invitation at all for the holidays though I live close to a fairly large family. They are mostly absorbed in their own lives. And their political religious viewpoints. If I do receive an invitation then I have to decide whether to go and walk on eggshells or be ignored like the rest of the year OR just stay home and spend the holidays alone. I put all my eggs in the family basket hosting many a holiday meal in the past-for 20 + people never imaging I’d be left out by myself in my later years. I’m a respectful responsible grateful guest but 🤷‍♀️. My family is cold.

[@island661]

All you have to say is, I can't make it but thank you for the invitation. Done

[@richardlenz2655]

Correct. “No” from others often saved my live, although the people who gave me a “no” suffered often much more than I, I found out. Mostly people have problems with “no”, because of feeling unworthy 🤭

[@llkellenba]

Not physically but No has meant disconnection and exile in my world. Family and friends. Obviously these aren’t positive stable reciprocal relationships. Changes, even small ones, I made to improve my life and alter my role a bit was meant I’m left without connection and support and also the subject of devaluation amongst these people.

[@leoniphelan5278]

Same

[@llkellenba]

@@leoniphelan5278 I’m sorry 😞 - it’s a disappointing and painful experience

[@leoniphelan5278]

@@llkellenba Thank you for responding🙏 I am sorry for your pain too. It is quite challenging to resist the compulsion to move into a Caretaking role just to alleviate sensed disconnection. But I am at the stage of life now where not doing so is the most life giving thing. Is that how you are experiencing it?

[@llkellenba]

@@leoniphelan5278 true - I did that for decades and never realized once I couldn’t, took a step back from that role or was no longer needed by family I had no further value or place in the family system. That was seriously bitter pill to swallow. Doing my own recovery ❤️‍🩹 it’s becoming much clearer.

[@abbeycrouse3020]

Can we talk about why we are afraid to say no for once. I’m afraid to say no because most people are unable to HEAR the word no

[@michaelvandenheuvel317]

My situation here has gone from bad to worse. I honestly am stuck physically, financially, and emotionally. No way forward no way out. Its impossible.

[@walterdavis4808]

I've been there . The only advise I can give is try to take very small steps every day to improve or change the situation . Over time you will see the progress

[@corinnaketterling449]

That was super😍 helpful and interesting, thank you!

[@csmithvenice17]

There is no such thing as a culture that over emphasizes individual autonomy or independence

[@Lioness_of_Gaia]

Agreed!

[@jwhite5396]

All good points I hadn’t thought of, thank you.

[@canada7713]

Awesome video.

[@delmarreyna]

Thank you for this video.

[@user-mn3wi2id1p]

Thank you for your videos and all the work you put in! Your videos have been an amazing resource to help with my anxiety!

[@phaniraj5142]

Well explained and too good a subject in the present era of nuclear family

[@loriweakley9517]

❤

[@abbeycrouse3020]

I can say no and be punished or yes and avoid the bullshit. It’s unfortunate that the people watching these videos are not fucked up. It’s the assholes in this world who need to watch these videos. I don’t have a problem saying no it’s the consequence of saying no that’s the problem. Let’s talk about that

[@Mystdryad10]

Need new people surrounding us. People who can honor and accept your no. Also we ourselves need to ground our own hearts in the knowledge that we are entitled to say no without guilt. It’s ok to say no - it actually is! Whoa. Amazing. Also I find it to be amazing that the ones who can’t hear “no” well are usually the ones who use it just fine.