Best HFY Reddit Stories: A Quick Memo Pertaining to Human Employment (r/HFY)

[@NetNarrator]

Gonna spam this for a little while: I am currently looking for experienced discord admins and mods that may wish to help me build and run a server. I am u/Spartawolf on reddit if interested!

[@gamingmoran9597]

Hello this was light from all of death and war stuff

[@robertludwick1437]

Is that discord server up and running yet?

[@NetNarrator]

@@robertludwick1437 Yep! Check the links on my latest videos!

[@myrules2374]

The cops being traumatized after seeing what a human had done to a alien after the alien ate the humans pet is the truest thing I have heard in my entire life. If someone ate my pet alive they would wish they were dead.

[@leyrua]

Not for very _long,_ I imagine. 💀

[@nouri388]

For reference watch John wick never kill or eat a Humans pet

[@Sora-md1ye]

I can already hear the agonizing screams echoing through the hallways. More blood and gore than every Mortal Kombat game combined as alien cops vomit, pass out, or seek therapy.

[@Southern_Crusader]

John Wick mixed with Doom Guy.

[@Werrf1]

They wouldn't be able to wish they were dead; they'd be in too much pain to be that rational.

[@StarboyXL9]

This gives me a mental image of some alien trying to wake their human roommate by poking them with a stick from across the room.

[@bobbylambert9191]

Alex: why are you over there? Alien:last time I was closer you blew up the bed side table.

[@generictimestamperstupendi9021]

@@bobbylambert9191 well dont disturb me while im in AR training , not my fault you did it mid Fireblast

[@conduit64]

From across the room while cowering behind a blast shield.

[@ladyofthemasque]

Hey, I do that already AS a fellow human, why wouldn't a properly briefed alien do it, too?

[@tremor230]

"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" "Coffee, Human Steven?" "...I am listening...🤨"

[@Salt_discriminater]

Fun fact: Canadian's do infact feel cold. But it just makes us stronger

[@griffinwindom4304]

Thx for giving me a fear I didn't know that I had

[@Salt_discriminater]

@@griffinwindom4304 don't worry, we're nice most of the time.

[@griffinwindom4304]

@@Salt_discriminater ok

[@alexs5814]

@Ярослав Л You called your mother a sub-species one last time, comrade. no more borshtsh for you.

[@igkslife]

Fun fact: s a American becomes stronger, and less fat when a gun is near by.

[@blackpyro91]

As somebody who grew up in a household of engineers the boredom thing is applied already. Never let a engineer or God forbid a group of engineers have to much time to themselves

[@jackmack4181]

They will either build, repair or take apart something if you leave them alone...usually it’s all three

[@dragonsoul123]

Engineers are a curious bunch indeed

[@blackpyro91]

@@jackmack4181 or improve. Can't forget about that

[@jamesforgie6594]

Engineers think that “if it ain’t broken, it doesn’t have enough features yet.” A quote I think I got from Civ VI.

[@KertaDrake]

A household of engineers is a recipe for your home randomly gaining two rooms, an elevator even though there's only one floor, and a device that starts a complex chain reaction to do something, but no one knows what it does because it's still running and seems days away from finishing.

[@ghosty918]

"Anything an Australian tells you about their home is likely a lie unless it's about weird foods" All I heard was "Lie more egregiously about our food"

[@Ranulfdatank]

Gotta make up for not being able to bullshit about everything else >.

[@finaladvance5085]

You can pet the Australian wildlife

[@armaggedon390]

@@finaladvance5085 But only once.

[@Southern_Crusader]

@@armaggedon390 Twice, you have two hands!

[@generalzeta7000]

I'm a Floridian, land of crazy, and I fear Austria.

[@jblockman_59nunyabidnis68]

The fact that they needed to update the definition of theft to include antimatter suggests that a human thief turned an object into antimatter, stole it and then converted it back into matter.

[@Tarantio1983]

either that or stole antimatter for the purposes of weaponization...

[@koathekid8255]

@@Tarantio1983 both

[@VRDejaVu]

We really love our technicalities. In 1862 the rules of chess had to be changed because they said you could turn a pawn into another piece, like it does nowadays, but it wasn't specified that it had to be of your color. So a GM is looking at a draw but notices that if he turns his pawn into an enemy knight he has a chance of winning.... and voilá!

[@paulqueripel3493]

No, just that theft only referred to matter. He/she took anti-matter, therefore it wasn't theft.

[@internetzenmaster8952]

@@VRDejaVu "So a GM is looking at a draw but notices that if he turns his pawn into an enemy knight he has a chance of winning.... and voilá!" That... is the most ass-backwards chess move I've ever heard of. Who the hell even comes _up_ with that sort of move? Both sides are down to 20%, *maybe* 25% of their original pieces by the time a pawn can make it to the other side for promotion. A player who gives their opponent another piece deliberately puts themselves at a disadvantage by doing so. There's always _one_ smartass trying to rules-lawyer their way out of a draw I guess...

[@RandomWizardArt]

Note: a type of american from the region known as 'florida' should not be left unsupervised under any circumstances... you will regret it...

[@Sharkakaka]

Note:An human engineer from a region called Florida must be supervised by at least 2 other crewmembers at all times

[@Allantitan]

@@Sharkakaka side note: this is a worst case scenario number best have 20 or more

[@Sharkakaka]

@@Allantitan this is an at least, not the ideal but depends on which species is supervising the human

[@Allantitan]

@@Sharkakaka 👍

[@anthonymedina9425]

@@Sharkakaka if the human engineer from Florida is named Kyle... May your soul find peace

[@lisbjerg123]

The bit about the Lawyers got me chuckling.

[@morganpriest7726]

THERE IS NO ESCAPE. THEY WILL FIND YOU.

[@rebeccahulthe1098]

AND THEY WILL SUE YOU!

[@iconofthicc6086]

Ahem, this person harassed me, Ok is a horrible word in my bloodline and is considered harassment.

[@dadudeme]

​@@rebeccahulthe1098or on your behalf. They don't care as long as they can sue something/someone

[@The_Minuteman_loyalist]

And God forbid these serve you

[@The19Scout97]

Ah yes, lawyers the apex predators of the human species. xD

[@patefreeman1739]

There blood is pure poison and has a eye for weakness if you show weakness it will be over for you

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

They are ruthless, cruel and have no empathy.

[@The-Singularity-X01]

Note: if you visit Earth do NOT go to the continent known as 'Australia'. As even the human's fear the native fauna there, and if THEY are afraid of something, you should be terrified of it.

[@The-Singularity-X01]

Addendum: When visiting Earth, and are curious about the flora/fauna ask a human. If they tell you it is dangerous, then it is very likely to kill you.

[@spudthepug]

@Nad Senoj this description makes my skin crawl!

[@loganshaw4527]

We only got a small spider in the states the size of a spread hand. Last seen Maryland of the east coast. Also the copperhead are bot bad it is the centipede and brown recluse you really got to watch out for. I seen those, i kill those and I still want nothing to do with Australia.

[@nickkozak4763]

@@The-Singularity-X01then some will say dangerous but not deadly:)

[@Saeryfim]

There's a reason we refer to it as being "Terra-fied", XD

[@leyrua]

I'm imagining that the massive "Infernus Cattus" Is an ordinary housecat... the narrator is just _tiny._

[@thesadumbreon]

Ordinary but fire was my thought cause infernus made me think fire

[@spudthepug]

It could be the size of a tiger and we’d still see it as another forbidden kitty.

[@kdrapertrucker]

​@@thesadumbreoninfernous might be a scientific name for Infernal

[@M-S_4321]

​@@spudthepugThere's not enough of us remaining, (as a species) to even offer FA support groups. Felines Anonymous

[@staticbuilds7613]

I imagine it being a dragon or some sort which would make equal sense

[@igkslife]

Australian: did I ever tell you about a kangaroo? Alien: what is a kangaroo? Australian: there a meter tall rabbit like mammal that can kick your stomach in, and strangle you with its forearms... If it wanted to. Alien: that's a lie! Australian: are you sure about that? ( stares at a male kangaroo creep in behind the alien)

[@Vortex-7358]

and if the alien does not die from shock you bring up the drop bear

[@scotteggert9820]

Or the fact Australia lost a war against an insane flightless bird. Fucking Emu's

[@ThW5]

Yes, it is an utter lie, first) it ain't rabbit like, and second) it tends to be bigger...

[@derekclark7978]

As both an Australian and an engineer there is an aggressive level of truth to this guide.

[@AJPDing]

Sometimes but I remember the last time someone didn't listen when they were told "dont pet the kangaroo"

[@camohawk6703]

Except the drop bears. Always be aware of the drop bears.

[@austinteal3645]

There's nothing that terrifies me more than what a Australian Engineer can do by himself 💀

[@FedralBI]

I worked in an office for years. The printer pain is real.

[@randomd2146]

I feel the same pain 3 clasroom's 1 faulty printer Alot of work that has to be printed

[@KlavierMenn]

@@randomd2146 The printers where I worked seemed to be ok. Then, again I wasn't on the office side and only say the office ppl few times a day, when needed.

[@McSkumm]

Don't show any fear around a printer, they can smell fear.

[@Resomius]

3 faulty printers at work printers so faulty I wish to actually work in our IT. Some IT guys actually don't pick up on my number anymore becaus they know if I call shit is burning... They left me knowingly admin rights on one of our computers...

[@aussieginger1960]

The company I worked for ten years ago wouldn't replace the printer until it was broken despite the fact thet at a minimum I had to call the repair guy every week for six months. So my manager picked it up and dropped it out of a third story window (our office was regional so no risk to others). I called the repair guy he confirmed it could no longer be fixed and we bought a new one. Best day ever!

[@shanerooney7288]

Australians don't lie about Australia. We just generally downplay the lethality to protect the innocence of those we are speaking to.

[@scotteggert9820]

Then explain the Emu War.

[@shanerooney7288]

Using what was considered modern weaponry at the time, we waged fullscale war against flightless birds. And lost. This is the downplayed version of events. Full details on the lethality and horrors of that war are not suitable for civilized conversation.

[@loganshaw4527]

Or to not start the nightmare. Some movies are only exaggeration of the creatures there.

[@VulcanHeStan]

It has not prevented the Outback from encountering the most dangerous of Floridians. The Yoink Man have cometh

[@attila535]

This feels like an excerpt from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

[@alexanderfuller5005]

But in Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy humans are Insignificant

[@hokutoulrik7345]

@@alexanderfuller5005 this is after Ford's updated article.

[@KertaDrake]

Mostly harmless is still not harmless.

[@calvingreene90]

@@hokutoulrik7345 No, this is what Ford submitted as the update.

[@lightninsadventures2692]

This is basically a galactic SCP memo

[@riderstrano783]

A human engineer gets left alone for a day aboard ship BC he was starting to tinker with the sub space drives, walks out of quarters laughing maniacally while continuously saying “death roomba”

[@nullpoint3346]

Bored human engineers are a danger to _causality!?_ *By the Holy Terra we've progressed!*

[@DrMDHyde]

Nah, seems pretty standard.

[@ThW5]

Engineering project plans do not usually seem to involve using/inventing a time machine, where you are living?

[@agentofthetrees2161]

As an American/Canadian cross breed (Minnesotan) I can confirm we neither feel cold, and are armed more heavily than normal...

[@spacetechempire510]

I recognized the reference to another HFY post. “Mater and antimatter theft” one

[@user-dy3jr9we7d]

How can you be charged for theft if you didn't physically steal the object? You just took its worth in matter with a anti matter gun. If I am correct no longer counts as the object in question. So I did not steal anything. Eh just trying to sound like a lawyer.

[@DimitriKurkov]

@@user-dy3jr9we7d Everyone RUN.

[@marintheking1515]

Witch one is that i want to read it

[@demonelf2094]

@@DimitriKurkov Too late.

[@fireyjon]

“If you see a human lawyer run” had me in stitches

[@sillerbarly4927]

I was expecting a note on not leaving humans alone with roombas or other robot cleaners for the anmoprization (not sure if spelled right),. Due to tendency's of weaponizing said cleaners with knives, and other dangerous apparel

[@burpoi]

Let’s not forget about making them scream in agony upon hitting something

[@MiguelHernandez-hn2cp]

@@burpoi Michael Reeves fan?

[@burpoi]

@@MiguelHernandez-hn2cp I watch crackhead from time to time why do you ask?

[@MiguelHernandez-hn2cp]

@@burpoi watch his screaming roomba video?

[@burpoi]

@@MiguelHernandez-hn2cp yep.

[@igkslife]

Alien guide: don't wake a sleeping Human. Alien: ... Ok, what do I do? He is walking, but his eyes are closed. Maybe he is practicing for something? Bob grabs the alien shudder: don't do that, if you value your life. Alien: Eep! Oh, it's you, don't sneak up on me like that, but why can't I? He is clearly not a sleep. Bod: he is, it's called sleep walking. Alien: sleep? walking? ... Scary!

[@nickkozak4763]

hmm chances are he survived ordeal and warned others.

[@juggernautbam2253]

Why do I feel like the human version of everything Dr. Bright is not allowed to do at the facility, but instead of telling them what they can't do, it's warning others of what they can do.

[@o5-692]

Yes

[@Have_some_plasma]

Because it's a series of excerpts of what humans already did. From them you can piece together the situation that happened to warrant adding it in. And as I have noticed, things are *magnitudes* funnier when we think them up on the spot.

[@darokdeed]

Human Lawyers the ultimate predators.

[@blacklancer3255]

“Americans are always more heavily armed than others.” I mean, it’s not incorrect…..

[@machinist7230]

To put this in perspective, Pennsylvania has 497 McDonald's. It also has 2700 FFLs...😵👍

[@loganshaw4527]

Still not enough for that place in the south pacific. 🌏

[@ladyofthemasque]

*This rule does not apply to discussions of Australian-region lifeforms, as most of their regional flora and fauna are factually deadly, though it is still not 100% certain if drop bears are real or are mythical creatures, same with jackalopes, chupacabras, sasquatch, yeti, and/or the Pacific tree octopus.

[@TiernanWilkinson]

"Americans are always more heavily armed than the others." Most realistic HFY post yet.

[@asurasyn]

Attacking a human: Don't! (Nods) Wise advice.

[@chrisdufresne9359]

Humans are Moose in the wider galaxy

[@eurogryphon]

I damn near fell out of my chair laughing when he mentioned the flight response of French!

[@baldur3365]

I love that humans and printers are mortal enemies

[@ancapftw9113]

What? I'm not allowed to take an alien's antimatter without permission? I didn't realize they'd fixed that. Now I have to pay for fuel.

[@JosephKano]

The only thing an Australian tells you that is likely a lie is that 'it's OK m8, it won't kill ya' cause it definitely will...

[@MazzaAzi]

French: *The soul reason The USA exists* Americans: "we'll name a snack after you and call it even." French: *Lose easily then surrender, once* Americans: "Got it, cowards."

[@flyboy6392]

So many problems would be solved if America either called it square after WWII and left them to clean up their own messes after that, or we just invaded France.

[@generictimestamperstupendi9021]

@@flyboy6392 "or if we just invaded france"

[@EloquentTroll]

French leadership is occasionally suspect, but never doubt the courage of the French people. And I say this as an American veteran, and student of history.

[@AlleluiaElizabeth]

@@EloquentTroll Pretty sure its not the French WW2 resistance that we're calling cowards, though.

[@eurogryphon]

Jeremy Clarkson once referred to them as "cheese-eating surrender monkeys" using an American accent.

[@blackthrone6976]

Weapons; Thinks about the Gustav Cannon. "... Yeah, no. That checks out..."

[@juggernautbam2253]

I am surprised no one mentioned the fact that printers decide to just fuck up if there is a Human nearby

[@ThatSlowTypingGuy]

Clearly reflecting reality.

[@randomguy3080]

“I am genetically, and mechanically enhanced, I have an ability to revive myself, and I am far stronger than any alien…….. but that thing.” *Lawyer* “It scares me.”

[@purpledevilr7463]

In so many of these HFYs humans could easily conquer the galaxy.

[@TheDreadfulDrifter]

But so would be A - a hassle B - boring C - boringly annoying once done

[@purpledevilr7463]

@@TheDreadfulDrifter it’s not boring at all, conquer then leave, let it fall repeat.

[@politebadger5049]

@@purpledevilr7463 but that'd get repetative and then boring.

[@purpledevilr7463]

@@politebadger5049 for some maybe but how many people replay CoD or fortnite thousands of times.

[@politebadger5049]

@@purpledevilr7463 I hate that you're right.

[@tahakumonsonoa6026]

Are those Lawyers from First Contact?

[@jackreisewitz6632]

Was going through divorce.... printer kept acting up.... Figured, "Why not?" It experienced a "Catastrophic Failure". Even the manufacturer wouldn't have thought it had that many really small pieces.

[@abnegazher]

Canadians live in cold climates and have warm hearts. Unless there is a war... Then they make the enviroment burn and their heart turns icy cold.

[@janthion3590]

The Canadian no prisoner policy

[@Sternguard]

Our trigger word!

[@ettibbet5493]

Unless you are the commanding officer of the largest air base in Canada. Then you just rape and murder women under your command...and steal a lot of lingerie

[@stevenweaver3386]

@@janthion3590 what's a "prisoner"? Asking for a friend.

[@janthion3590]

@@stevenweaver3386 it's something your mind can't grasp upon, Canadian.

[@llin6257]

French: -Have the highest win number in history. The world: haha french surrenderrrrrrrr

[@Sternguard]

Well that might apply to the French Foreign Legion. Those guys lots of respect.

[@sephticus6847]

A high win rate hardly matters when most of your wins are against yourself

[@Allantitan]

Love how their advice on fighting us is anti tank guns….and other humans 🤣

[@utkuayranc3210]

"french have a flight reflex instead of a fight or flight reflex"

[@jacobmarkley6943]

Printers working worse around humans kills me

[@dodgerspetgirlbanana7280]

but is it really incorrect..?

[@elgranmanco8201]

​@@dodgerspetgirlbanana7280 i am late, but this is true, My printer don't work if You need it, it can feel your desperation, but works perfectly if i don't need it i'm the same day

[@Nomadith]

This is a lighthearted and goofy one, i love it. Your new stuff is fantastic don't get me wrong, but this makes me chuckle

[@Sgtnolisten]

There's no lies about the dangers of drop bears, mate...

[@caveofskarzs1544]

This is like the OSHA rules always needing to be updated because an ironworker did something.

[@jasonbull6560]

Enjoyed that,made me chuckle.

[@calvingreene90]

While a bored human engineer sometimes leads to beneficial new discoveries, they are often not worth the damage to planets/star systems/causality/sanity.

[@ratuschrist8465]

Note: A type of American form a region called 'Texas' are usually easy to anger, always armed, immune to most temperatures but not to extreme like Canadas cold, and should be supervised by at least 3 people when fit and 2 when they're average to bigger (fatter)

[@JuniperFinch538]

As an Australian, It's all true, every word of it. Especially the lies, this country is ridiculous

[@charlx8979]

Come on mate, you dont believe us about the drop bears? And the giant spiders are totally real! As are all the fucking pythons thatll just take a swim in your backyard pool, Australia is a real life death world!

[@jekabsojarsulskis9740]

Ah, you are french, with how many baguets you spell that? American told you that? Why yes, although his name is Bob. *Angry french noise* Ah, are those angry Napoleon nois? *ANGRY NAPOLEON NOISE*

[@loganshaw4527]

Meanwhile a American near by eating French bread "That is not going to end well."

[@GabrielHellborne]

Humanity's ultimate weapon is the Bored Engineer. The Caffeinated Bored Engineer if you want to get extreme.

[@o5-692]

Or drunk human engineers

[@Tarantio1983]

Nah, give an engineer a crap-ton of cocaine laced with acid ... huhuhuhuhuhuh! Shit's gonna get real interesting, boys!

[@syrathdouglas1244]

There’s a personality thing they forgot: Floridians and Australians are very resistant to heat and usually don’t fear animals they should. Stay away from them.

[@generalzeta7000]

Even more then other humans.

[@julonkrutor4649]

He forgot the germany: We do love to organize thinks and hate it if you are just a few sec. late ^^

[@HexenkoeniginVonAngmar]

Early = punctual On time = Too late Too late = unacceptable, unless there is a good reason and you called ahead

[@Resomius]

A german worker once started in an alien orbital production facility. production rose by 400% alcohole consuption rose by 4000%

[@julonkrutor4649]

@@HexenkoeniginVonAngmar Yes.

[@d3str0i3r]

the lawyers thing reminded me of librarians from Welcome To Nightvale also, i love how this one is written with the assumption that humans have reached cyberpunk before coming into the intergalactic community, haven't seen a lot of those, or at least, haven't seen many that make it obvious

[@ghoul3d]

no you give lawyers a dollar as retainer and then they start billing you...

[@sakib6258]

"It's a lawyer!" *calm* "It's a human lawyer!" *RED ALERT*

[@cynforgiven1221]

Thank you so much for this. I love the inflection and humor you infuse into your readings like this. I needed the laugh so much today 😊 And the background music was spot on 👍🏻 Watched twice, liked, playlist saved, and shared

[@Amadeo790]

Mexicans have enhanced work ethic and skill at cooking. Do not be surprised if you find them everywhere doing some kind of manual or culinary labor. Their elderly members are prone to be overly friendly.

[@shadowgltch6472]

HeY AuStRAlia isN'T tHat BAd. Most the animals aren't that bad if you are couscous about the venomous ones, and the ones with pointy teeth, and claws.

[@crazy4bricksthebrickbrothe722]

But you just described every animal native to Australia.

[@Destroyer_V0]

And how most of the time you have to worry more about the conditions of the enviroment rather than the animal threats. Addendum, australian homes tend to be either easy to replace, or damn near indestructible to everything but earthquakes due to the varied weather conditions they face.

[@KlavierMenn]

Or even if not venomous/full of teeth they can wreck you with punchs/kicks

[@NatsuDragn33I]

Bahahahaha, this made me chuckle several times. The Lawyer part made me chuckle the hardest.

[@Ralyx0]

"Approximizations", "disorientated", and "amorphization"

[@EloquentTroll]

Don't take the low blow against the French. I'm an American, but I will stand up for the historical bravery of my French Brothers and Sisters! They paid a dear price for underestimating Germany at the beginning of WW2, and sure the government surrendered, but the people didn't, the French resistance deserves massive praise for their contributions. Even when they are lead poorly the French people's courage should never be doubted.

[@The-Singularity-X01]

Not to mention they were some scary mother fuckers in the wars before WWI and WWII. Napoleon is still one of the best generals to have ever lived.

[@Sternguard]

French Foreign Legion, those guys are as hard as nails.

[@Ragnar_Oock]

We (i'm french) are not as nationalist as others (looking at you Americans) but we do cherish our liberty a lot and will go as far as necessary to protect it.

[@gregsmith5695]

@@Sternguard And frequently german.....😎

[@roseCatcher_]

When the Germans invaded France, French local governments set up programmes for local young women so that they could help familiarize the new guests around the region, including but not limited to, be their private escorts whenever required :)

[@noneofyourbuisness1679]

Love how the protocol for dealing with human lawyers is the same as a Tyrannosaurus rex: one is a ruthless, apex predator that will tear you limb from limb and the other's a dinosaur.

[@Draconis7200]

Thank you, this was a blast. :)

[@stargate55746]

Love the ones that make me laugh

[@ShinigamiSparda]

Addendum: Anything an Australian tells you about their home is likely *slightly* exaggerated. Note: Australia is considered a Deathland... to Class XII Deathworlders.

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Great works continue

[@lordpfeiffer8490]

as an American who owns a .50 cal and a minigun I feel.under armed now.

[@acynder1]

Sounds like you need some AAA in your life. We all do.

[@lonelyboy9852]

"On another note, anything an Australian tells you about their is likely a lie unless its about weird foods." Me: shut up man. i know drop bears aren't real, but koalas actually do attack despite their cuteness.

[@evernewb2073]

there was a marsupial that fit the description at one point (essentially an ambush-predator koala, though iirc they weren't actually all that closely elated, they just looked fairly similar because of the arboreal bodyplan not needing much tweaking to include grabbing on to something and biting it to death, probably acted pretty similar too for the 99% of their time they were not attacking or eating something), granted as near as anyone can tell they finished dying out about 6000 years ago but information traditions have kept including extinct animals for longer than that elsewhere even without still-extant lookalikes still living in the same area. that said...the article I'm regurgitating this from was written by an australian so maybe take it with a grain of salt.

[@loganshaw4527]

Cute and deadly a effive combo.

[@catprog]

The drop bear is a warning story. Don't camp under eucalyptus trees.

[@johncunningham4820]

Oh THAT was Fun . " Percussive Maintence " , 🤣.

[@pandoratheclay]

The lawyer part is hilarious

[@Resomius]

the printer part is sooooo true... the lawyer part to...

[@Southern_Crusader]

The American one is always true. I was born with a Browning Highpower in my hand with 4 bullets. Don’t ask what happens to the others. (Russians don’t feel fear… that is true, for they are what you fear.)

[@prophecynewt2250]

I love the r/HFY posts about future humans with augmentations and Matryoshka brains, always hilarious

[@Danieljfriend275]

Yes sounds like us

[@aronnemcsik]

the lawyers part made me spit my water...

[@nicolasrodriguesdossantos1881]

A crewmember from a country called Brazil should never be the one organizing every party, comemoration date or sports recreation. P.s: If there's a brazilian personel in your crew don't hire a human from a country called Argentina. The recent events of this happening lead to fights, discussions about 2 combatant sport gods called Pelé and Maradona. They're worshippers don't like each other. P.s.2: If it can't be helped and you need both of them, make sure to sign another human from the country of Germany. Brazilians and Arhentinians hate them more than they hate each other, you may be able to make them work together.

[@thewelder5716]

The lawyer bit killed me

[@valeon7303]

Finally, a story that mentions vaccines and units of measurement differences. A lot of stories mention food differences but with entirely different evolutionary paths, first contact could easily spark a plague.

[@TecMacRun]

The "Lawyer" part Killed Me. I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts XD Update: I am now Crying because i am laughing SO hard. X...D

[@timothypryor7952]

Second addendum, the Australians were not lying, oh by all the gods run, just run.

[@gatispelnens1594]

This one made me lol on the train 😅

[@ATSucks1]

Aaaa! Whats not to believe about Australia? It's just our hard mode setting for humanity.

[@ComradeCommissarYuri]

The most feared being in the universe.. A human lawyer

[@comparatorclock]

"Loopholes: Humans will find loopholes. Galactic code of law has had to be updated on technicalities because of them a total of 1,299 times as of this writing" Let me guess: Floridaman?

[@chainsawsubtlety9828]

"approximizations" Are you kidding me?

[@aljeandropacheco3608]

They did France dirty so bad

[@tahrjseth6467]

As an Australian I will say is fuckin not

[@ThatSlowTypingGuy]

Infernus Cattus: exists Humans: kitty!

[@catfwish]

According do yt's translator, that means hell cat. I really wanna give it scritches.

[@Jay-rb5pg]

Human Lawyers vision is based on legal motions.

[@gemmel3197]

Who told him Australians lie about our country? Never heard such a thing. He needs vegemite.

[@freakyskull516]

its not that the australians lie its that you dont WANT to believe them

[@loganshaw4527]

Any one else feel a spine chill reading that?

[@polasamierwahsh421]

amazing

[@JTruong3rd]

Make it sound like every humans been augmentated to 40k space marine levels, especially the lawyers.

[@PanduPoluan]

I am greatly distressed that Brother printers are no longer available in the far future... Or maybe they have become so valuable they are classified as Strategic Vital Equipment and embargoed from being exported...