Best HFY Reddit Stories: How They See With Their Hands (r/HFY)

An evolutionary advantage...
An original story written, and granted permission to narrate by u/Slow-Ad2584
Original Post: / how_they_see_with_thei...
Please consider supporting me on Patreon here: / netnarrator
I am also available on SubscribeStar here: www.subscribestar.com/NetNarr...
If you fancy buying me a coffee so I can keep this up please do so here: ko-fi.com/netnarator
Discord Link: / discord
I can be contacted on discord for business proposals, or under the reddit name u/Spartawolf
NetNarrator HFY Merch Store here: teespring.com/stores/netnarra...
Now sponsored by SkarfZone, a store selling a wide variety of affordable neck tubes which can be used as scarves, facemasks and bandannas! Use coupon code 'NetNarrator' to get 20% off your entire order when you shop at skarfzone.com/
Sponsored by Resistance Armory, a politically left leaning store catered to left wing merchandise and protest equipment (Both I and this channel are politically neutral)
resistance-armory.com/
Click the bell next to Subscribe so you never miss a video!
LIKE, COMMENT and SUBSCRIBE if you are new on the channel!
I am the Net Narrator. I will be narrating various tales from around the internet, which may be spooky, may be creepy, may be funny, may be awesome or may be something else. Stick around and play me while bored at work and enjoy!
I run a Tshirt store which can be accessed here:
www.redbubble.com/people/Spar...
Current Patreons:
Gavin Lane
John whall
liam johnston
robert Harley
Patrick Mcgreevy
N8
PrimalAge
Cho
Gary Carlson
Jason Nicholas Bacon
Troy Kivlin
Micah god of puns
The Fire Piper
Roger Dial
J. Howard
Samuel king
Nathan Riek
Mezec
Nikolous Rice
Dwavenminer
Daddy Jesus
Nick Hatley
John Etgar
James Erb
Daniel Gartin
Jeromy Carmickle
Jeffrey hedlund
RUBEN
Tanner Ryan Jollet
Dan Chadwick
Dionysus
Wolflet
John J Riggan
Joel Nikula
Erick Jaquez
Elitedrone
Weston Simmons
Mario Colon
Stephen Dower
Jonas Grundström
Joey Bates
Brennan Robertson
laurine manigat
Elim Tevir
Alexander Michael Fraser
Micky
Thee_ Number_Six
Raymond Demara
Christopher Heredia
Maze Zy
David Arva
Logan Herron
John Weaver
Jon Doe
Malovich
Silvan Fricker
Jonathon Chasteler
Cloodden
genomephilanthropist
boone stover
Dustin Tijerina
Thobias åman
Nicholas Johnson
C Fern
TheBadassForunnerElite
John Arians
SCP-49730
Jeff Kaiser
Jess Hobart
Purple Magi
Matthew
Andre Tolmich
Ross Warden
Jason
Blighty
saber154
Felipe Agudelo
Davin Smith
chaoticPopo
Possibly Here For Plot
Sapient_table
Vanopolis
MÄ«onikoi
chzoe warford
Andrid9
Mr.Monical
Kimball Boyd
but span
Shaun Jacobs
Enterprise
Tradainian
Quakes
daniel mayo
Adrian Iwański
Dopamine Coma
Carl
Rusty Shackleford
Logan Jacobsen
Tech Priest Toaster
Thirteenth Angel
Drakos
chaosdays
john
JordKriger
Nathaniel Krauss
Namel909
Devara Saira
Sturlaugur Arnar Kristinsson
Michael Morse
Nick Devor
PATRICK JAN JOSUA DAVIDSEN
dioriteigneous
NightVision
Nathan west
matthew baker
Tyler John Williams
DragenDragoon
nick davie
OTTO DBS Gaming
Danial Zujkowski
Tyler Bremer
eyes downfield
king vice
Roy Nicolaysen
Merlin Morgan
DebautcheryDecanter
julekule
Dragonking
Jonathan Torrez
Riokan
Juliano De Luca
Arin Storm
Logan Kuhlman
CLOROX D VIKING
Wln424
Viridity one
ShadaePrajschet
Burnt Toast
jordan simmons
Joey
iamblt
some wierd guy
Chandler Riley
Thomas Panis
John Meek
turnip hunter
shadow sword001
Jim Flint
koollman
Dank Matter
Alex Farmer
#hfy #Greentext #awesome #space #spaceorcs #/tg/ #greentexts #4chan

[@jacobfoss7783]

She abused the robot so badly that she made it self-aware!

[@Thebobkiller1]

Well, before it was... deleted.

[@anathardayaldar]

I thought the end would include the robot making weeping noises as her threats get increasingly chilling.

[@Bluesonofman]

Note: Humans in isolation in long periods of time tend to go insane. If you are to mess with a human who has reverted to this primal state, they may want to kill you.

[@npc2619]

I hope there's a second part, where she's hunting them down like the Xenomorph in Alien

[@onba7726]

Oh I hope so!

[@heavenvaillancourt6159]

I want to see a movie of that

[@evanslat1783]

Same

[@nickpossum3607]

Only if they add the kitchen scene from Jurassic Park, but Jennifer as the velociraptor.

[@Fikoj]

The camramsn: haha, man I'm dead💀💀💀

[@BrunoMaricFromZagreb]

-What is that,a human? *holds something in their hand * -A DANGEROUS HUMAN!?!? You know,if I had a galactic credit for every time a human gave me nightmares by making an improvised weapon,I would have 2 credits.Which doesn't sound like a lot,but it's weird it happened twice.

[@kingsempire4270]

Ah good old Dr. Doofenshmirtz

[@BrunoMaricFromZagreb]

@@kingsempire4270 Ol' reliable,that one.

[@BrunoMaricFromZagreb]

@@cavedmanjim249 I haven't met any Australians,I'm a croat who never left the balkans. "bush mechanics" is that sorta similar to bushcraft survival?Like the type practiced by "TA Outdoors"? & I don't doubt that,Australia is a shithole where "you can't have an ecosystem of only predators" is subverted to the extreme.Even your butterflies & moths are devils.

[@kingsempire4270]

@@BrunoMaricFromZagreb "You can't just shoot a hole through Mars."

[@BrunoMaricFromZagreb]

@@cavedmanjim249 Sounds a lot like the Primitive Skills guy who's been gone for some years.Or the east asian man who took his place recently.I'll have to google that later but busy at the time of writing this.

[@nweasels]

See.... the human was playing Nickelodeon GUTS, the researcher was unknowingly playing the introductory sequence to SCP containment breach.

[@Nomed38]

To throw off most people I still measure things in hands. 1 hand equals 4"/102mm and is a measurment traditionally used in the equine industry.

[@tehs3raph1m]

My thumb to little finger outstretched is 2 hands or 8 inches, useful for measuring things

[@MuxauJ7]

Pressed flat, my thumb is 1 inch across, my hand from the 1st crease on my wrist to the tip of my middle finger is exactly 8 inches, with my thumb pulled back straight it is exactly 4 inches wide at the widest part of my palm, and my feet are exactly 1 foot each. And myself, am exactly 6 feet tall. I'm a walking, talking yardstick. Oh why don't we use imperial here, it'd be so much easier for me.

[@SalemSalamander]

I have to carb count because of my condition and I know that two of my hand fulls is a portion of cereal (30g) give or take

[@jesusofbullets]

Fun fact: On your index finder, the little part right after the nail but before it connects to the hand is almost always super close to exactly an inch.

[@WiredTurkey316]

Everything about human design for nightmare fuel

[@anathardayaldar]

I thought the end would include the robot making weeping noises as her threats get increasingly chilling.

[@GreenDude_Gaming]

anyone else notice that part where she taught an ai how to feel pain and fear

[@anathardayaldar]

I thought the end would include the robot making weeping noises as her threats get increasingly chilling.

[@lisbjerg123]

She's quoting Ren's rage rant. look it up it's great!

[@BrunoMaricFromZagreb]

What TV Source? Wifi too laggy rn to use google.

[@kaijukeizer6900]

@@BrunoMaricFromZagreb ren and stimpy I think

[@stevenweaver3386]

Here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/aIibmHR6hNWfo7s

[@BrunoMaricFromZagreb]

@@kaijukeizer6900 Ah,well I'm not american,& we didn't have that cartoon provided by our Tv service,so I never watched it. (plus isn't it really stupid,weird & demented?And also made by a s3x offender?)

[@yourlocalfestivefurry354]

{note never give a hostile human an object that doesn't shatter from light wind force}

[@anathardayaldar]

Part 2= "Italians, How They Talk With Their Hands (r/IFY)"

[@micahscott3895]

That poor bot bro he didn't do nothing he was only following orders

[@leerman22]

Just have her plug in a USB port on the back of a PC.

[@EnraEnerato]

Now that is just not fair. See, usb ports and plugs are the only 4D objects known to exist in reality, how else would it be possible to flip something that *should* only have two sides over 3 to 4 times before it finally fits?

[@Shythalia]

As funny as this is, it's literally not that hard.

[@fergusabrams1012]

Jennifer's a sadist, isn't she.

[@nickpossum3607]

You would be too, if you were countlessly tested to see how you ticked.

[@fergusabrams1012]

@@nickpossum3607 Fair point.

[@stevenweaver3386]

Likely abducted. Not a happy camper.

[@fergusabrams1012]

@@stevenweaver3386 Obviously.

[@Aim54Delta]

Along this line, within the "deathworld theory" of our place in the cosmos, our concept of technology is likely anomalous in the extreme. First - chemistry is essential for much of any technological development beyond harnessing of natural processes. Nearly every useful material is oxidized and we had to brute-force mathematical correlations out of reactions to first develop atomic/molecular theory. This was a central holdup in technological advance. The others were the limitations of communication and language (there is a reason the Chinese publish so much of their research in English - Chinese lacks the specificity of the English language, which is itself evolved from the engineering pursuits in the wake of the Roman Empire (meaning French high society - whole volumes could be written on how the languages evolved with politics and technology, but the same way the Japanese learn English, today, is the same way the English learned French - and the centuries long result was, with industrialization, most of the uber-germanic-german of Old English being supplanted, at least phonetically, by French, itself an Italicized German evolving out of the political relation between the Church/Rome and the feudal nobility working under their domain). So... Chemistry is unusual - most beings likely had lower gravity and thinner atmospheres for easier access to space and the more pure metal and elemental deposits to be found in space. Second is the sheer scale of society. Since we are down here and compete with each other for resources, our concept of war and conflict is probably a quite literally alien subject. In space, territory and resources are so vast that it is easier to spread out than stack high and anything to be gained by fighting is very unlikely to be worth the energy, material, and manpower lost to conflict - especially considering the alternative of just finding a different rock to mine. There would be very little need or benefit to complex social organization structures and war would merely be a defense against predation. The idea of warring over territory or resources would be alien and only understood from a logical outlook of our circumstances, not something which would occur to an alien without prompt. Which then brings us to industry as humans practice it. We are a planet awash in energy with a need to innovate methods of supporting large, dense populations while engineering against the plots of predators in our own midst. As elegant and refined as we may view something like a UFO - an 'ancient' World War 2 era battleship may be a titanic marvel of industry to them. Not only is the raw resource investment on the square of absurdity, the prospect of making it would be next to impossible for them. Disregarding strength and other concerns - human industry operates on what... Blood, sweat, and tears. That is how we define hard work and toil. If heat management in the galaxy is rather rare or nuanced, our ability to work constantly and in extremes of heat is the central reason we were able to build foundries, forge metals, and develop such radical absurdities as the manufacturing assembly line. Every team of advanced alien engineers may be able to build what we call a UFO with all the bells and whistles in the same way a team of human enthusiasts can build their own car, rocket, or airplane. Humans, however, would discover the technologies for UFOs and not even bother to build them for decades or centuries until they worked out a way to have them literally streaming from factories like water. We expect aliens to operate according to the sorts of industrial pursuits we have followed, but remove even one component from our development, and our solution no longer becomes as logical to progress along. Now, with the prevalence of 3d printing and the internet, it becomes obvious to see that great feats of innovation and technology can be achieved without the massive industrial complexes we have utilized, and lacking the need or means for such large industry, it is reasonable to assume that alien civilizations would be marginally upscaled cottage industries and guilds with applied automation.

[@nweasels]

> Now, with the prevalence of 3d printing and the internet, it becomes obvious to see that great feats of innovation and technology can be achieved without the massive industrial complexes we have utilized Not sure if a fellow Integza viewer or not.

[@Aim54Delta]

@@nweasels I've seen a few of his videos. But by far, the most significant factor is the internet, itself. I don't know how old you are, but I grew up in the 90s and even with a 56k modem and the internet, there wasn't much published to the open net. Universities had some libraries on their servers, and stuff, but most research was still published through books/magazines/journals and at best it was co-published to a server system that was a neat thing no one really knew what to do with. If you wanted to learn something, you had to know someone who did, catch it in published media, hope it appeared in the library (and there was no convenient index to keyword search ye olde tomes - you might excavate the library all day and walk away with barely a page of information you were looking for or less than the summary excerpt from a google return), or pursue it as part of a post secondary education - to go to a university where the libraries were bigger and the experts congregated. At least ... Supposedly.... Anymore, I wonder if that was ever the reality, but notwithstanding.... The "wiki-walk" that you dive through in an evening was just not possible, or occurred over a much longer time frame as you expanded your search through a physical library over the course of days or weeks. Now, not only can you search for advanced metallurgy subjects, the math behind them, etc - you can discuss the subject on forums with tradesmen who range from experts to jokesters and even watch high definition videos of everything from extremely informative instructional videos to completely absurd nonsense like people eating tide pods or pitting chickens against dinosaurs. We have gone from information deficit to information overload (and I would argue the next 'evolutionary hurdle' is going to be the ability to tune out unnecessary information and/or defend against information warfare - much as the people who couldn't throw rocks didn't make it very far toward being what we understand as human, today - but I digress). When compounded with small automation and fabrication - it becomes insanely powerful. While specialty processes will always exist - bearing production, for example, is not so easy to replace with geometry alone - if I were to design an open source power tool which could be replicated by commonly available home machines and COTS parts - then with the publishing of a file, I have instantly created a competing brand. It may or may not be of truly rival quality - but given time and collaborative effort, particularly with careful selection of wear components and tailoring to end uses, the result could be extremely powerful and change how we go about buying many things. Rather than go to the store to buy a bunch of mass produced tools from some other country exploited for the wealth gap - I could get a tool that is common enough to maintain and service, but specific to my needs either by a bit of work on my part or as a service by someone in such a handy trade. We are seeing the concept expand from just plastic printers to open source pick and place machines for putting together circuit boards. It is entirely possible that we could see one of the first fully open source phones within the next few years - meaning from the component level and not dependent upon third party assembly. How much longer until an open source integrated circuit project hits on something workable? It doesn't have to be cutting edge, it just has to work and be capable of bootstrapping additional capacity. The wheels on your ultra-modern car are made on equipment built in the 1970s and we could still technically default back to relay logic if we wanted an exercise in dark age preparation. PLCs and servo-drives don't need 5 angstrom silicon fabrication processes to do what they do. But I beat a dead horse on that subject - my point is that it has never before been easier to connect ideas, talent, and means and never has the individual tradesman been more empowered than today with the globally connected economy sourcing nearly any raw material demand and automation reaching the desktop. The industry we have, today, may be regarded as a unique innovation which later gets refined into something truly astounding on the galactic scene. Another funny idea is that alien technology revolves primarily around manipulation of the electric field - something we have very poor experience with - while we generally think in terms of the magnetic field simply because we work with such vast sums of energy and ferrous materials. It is entirely logical for us to conceive of whirling hunks of iron and copper strands around to produce electricity. This is my own head-canon way of explaining the oddities of missile command systems going offline in the presence of UFOs. They have a higher understanding of electricity, but we are hurling tidal waves of photons out into space just to see what bounces back. It's a completely different scale and what they stage as a first strike/invasion is just an amusing light show for us. Which is why any real alien warfare is more likely to be in the information and cultural space - getting us to hate our monkey selves and worship the brain parasite (or whatever it is).

[@Calaban619]

@@Aim54Delta so, basically- in a few less words: " Using a 3D printer to upgrade the 3D printer, and to print more 3D printers... Is amazing, and slightly terrifying"

[@lazarmarinkovic8486]

@@Calaban619 OR more specifically, it would be called a von neumann machine, or as its more commonly known as the grey goo scenario. As it would be an infinitely replicating machine that jsut munches on recourses

[@Calaban619]

OP posted in the reddit something like "I like that I am able to very well imply that "oh yes- there have been very many surprise stabbings"... without actually having to say it."

[@RTanna89]

Don't wizz on the electric fence

[@marclytle644]

What... rolls down stairs, alone or in pairs, and even the neighbors dog? What great for a snack and fits on your back? Log log LOG! It's lo-o-g! It's lo-o-g! It's big it's heavy it's WOOD! It's lo-o-g! it's lo-o-g! It's better than bad, it's good!

[@brianmeadows1137]

What the Aliens should be doing right now is saying "If we give you your very own space ship with repair drones, will you away and not come after us. We're very sorry. And we'll pay your student loan".

[@xxKillgorxx]

How do we get the key and robot parts back? That's the neat thing, you don't.

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

Bless the Narrator Bless the Author

[@Draconis7200]

I love it. You have a knack for finding good stories and giving them great life. :)

[@Felixkeeg]

I'm making a note here - 'Huge success!'

[@slimeinabox]

Are there any stories on how humans have at least two (and maybe more) minds?

[@TheDandyMann]

You mean like the "lizard brain" we have?

[@UNSCPILOT]

Not only our two connected Brains or lobes, but much of the nervous system in our torso especially around our digestive system doubles as secondary processing too, apparent focused on long term pattern recognition. So getting a "gut feeling" about something being wrong may in fact be more litteral than most would think

[@TheDandyMann]

@@UNSCPILOT we have brain matter in our stomachs as well as our hearts.

[@UNSCPILOT]

@@TheDandyMann or bodies basically stuff processing power anywhere it can, our heads just happen to have a large chunk of it

[@Da_Shark]

@@UNSCPILOT so thats why I feel so fucking stupid after a fight even if I have absolutely no head injuries!!! The rest of my body needs to recover and can't help think Btw yes im aware of how dumb I am but I have an above average IQ and vocabulary for some reason but I have tried and failed to learn division (cant do it without a calculator) languages (French and Spanish classes which I failed repeatedly to the point my teachers just gave up holding me back and actually let me not take the class anymore) and my ADHD renders me unable to focus on any one thing.... at all I genuinely don't think im capable of doing less than 2 things at once So yeah funky brain I got but let's just say I min/maxed for strength endurance and charisma and thats about it so being dumb isn't so bad

[@slimeinabox]

OHHHH that’s an interesting take!

[@Shythalia]

I was expecting this to be about a blind person, but this was fine.

[@Leapyean]

Many ofthe more terrifying humans traits are easily discribed by them being descendent from arboreal mammals. Binocular vision, depth perseption; median nerve, grasping handholds without having to watch; rapid 3d spacial mapping, vital for living in a space where you have limited footing and hand holds. Everything tracks back to being tree dwellers.

[@jasonwarren9279]

And yet the people in my life can't wash their hands without covering the sink and soap dispenser in liquid soap...

[@robertbemis9800]

This story fits in the Jenkins universe

[@kennethhummel4409]

Run robot run!!!

[@nweasels]

See what would be hilarious is if the Robot, in a fit of self preservation and sudden sapience, turned ally with the human and turned on a light and begged "please don't, I only became self aware now".

[@rainfyre2694]

Jenifer is just girlbossing

[@TheDanlovejoy]

i do hope the referenced case studies are actually available, im interested in knowing what they say.

[@scottbruckner4653]

We can SEE WITH OUR HANDS?!

[@super8ben]

You didn’t believe me! WHY DIDN’T YOU BELIEVE ME!!!

[@willparry530]

Oh hey, I've read this one. Nice choice :D

[@Stuffandstuff974]

When are you going to continue the earth invasion story?

[@humanguyalsoperson7987]

Yes metal is quite useful

[@haunteddestiny312]

I heard a ren and stimpy reference

[@robertbemis9800]

Could be bad?

[@samuelchills7189]

Why she so mean to the robot

[@autisticwitch7581]

She's being tested on and likely the only human in the facility. You'd be frustrated too.

[@66Lynnie]

This is going to be bad? I guarantee it

[@frozenheartedgiant8330]

First