What is trauma? The author of “The Body Keeps the Score” explains | Bessel van der Kolk | Big Think

[@bismuth7398]

The worst part of being traumatized is that people expect you to behave as if you aren't.

[@blt4life112]

Yup. "I can't talk to you when you're like this." It still rings in my head.

[@sadyoshhours2769]

Or when people compare trauma, unable to see that 1) they don't know what it's like to be like you and 2) everyone reacts differently to things. Nobody takes it seriously as an adult and I'm tired of it.

[@gamezswinger]

They expect you to be a warrior. It's hard to turn the deer with the broken leg into a warrior. The lions have a huge advantage.

[@bismuth7398]

@@gamezswinger The only way to manage that is hiding long enough for your leg to heal, and staying close to the trees. (i.e. give yourself time to recover and avoid stressors as much as possible) Then again, everyone's situation is different. I'm just relating your analogy to my own experiences.

[@gamezswinger]

@@bismuth7398 What if the leg doesn't heal or heals very little?

[@AutumnHaunts]

Trauma isn’t always something so obvious either (rape, assault, traumatic accident, near death experience, etc…) it can be subtle but equally as harmful on our mind and body. For example, I grew up with an absent father and an emotionally unavailable mother. That had more of an impact on me than the sexual abuse I experienced at the age of 21 ever did. I constantly felt like a burden to everyone and like it wasn’t safe to trust anyone or to share my feelings with anyone. I experienced severe social anxiety, anorexia binge/purge subtype (almost died from that) and alcoholism. The body keeps score and sometimes it’s as simple as our parents not giving us the care and attention we needed as children.

[@stunning_aura8992]

Hope things get better for you youd deserve it

[@effielove4764]

my most impactful traumas were the most mindfucky ones that were less obvious or looked good from the outside. The fact that they are less clearly abuse in itself made it more traumatic. Its like the world and yourself constantly gaslights you about it til the end of time even after you discover the trauma.

[@AtomicWhiskers]

Do you think growing up without a father also counts as trauma? My dad died when i was young. Wishing you the best! 💖

[@carloferretti8956]

@@AtomicWhiskers yes it most definitely does. Wishing you the best :)

[@AtomicWhiskers]

@@carloferretti8956 thanks so much! 💜🥺

[@dtheengineer2746]

I had a violent childhood. My mom shot my dad, and my step dad went to prison for murdering a man in a bar. My brother was 16 years older than me and a violent alcoholic. People like this man have changed my life for the better. I don't let my past control my present and future any more

[@easterlee2143]

Please take care. Glad to hear that you are in a better place now.

[@infanteer7535]

Take care bro

[@somethingsomethingsomethingg]

Respect.

[@dntr2917]

Your story motivated me. Keep going no matter what my friend!

[@dtheengineer2746]

Wow thank you for all the positive comments!

[@maddyupchurch8917]

The worst part of trauma for me is not being able to trust people and situations-no matter how good they are.

[@crhoades41]

Same here, what works best for me is keeping to myself.

[@CHDean]

And one person did that to you?

[@uncle-nice6556]

I just want to encourage people who have been traumatized. I was diagnosed with a combination of anxiety and depression many years ago. I went on medication, we tinkered with the dosage and combination, I did talk therapy, then I got introduced into shrooms it worked on myself, and while I would say everything perfect, I have a good life, one which I'm grateful for.

[@shokotatsuno-p5497]

Upon my first shroom trip, my depression disappeared overnight. It shifted my perspective on the way I viewed myself.

[@ricomanuel7567]

After my trip yesterday, I did understand why mushrooms are praised... you can have some beautiful experiences on them..

[@morgancr1993]

I do 3.5 g of mushrooms every 6 months to reboot my brain.

[@kristahutchinson6519]

Hello! It appears I have interests, I want to get some.. where do you get from?

[@morgancr1993]

medicgael

[@advocate1563]

This man quite literally saved my life. I found a mind-body modality, did the work, and live the most peaceful and happiest of lives. It all started with The Body Keeps the Score. Thank you dr van der kolk for your work.

[@SP-qi8ur]

Whats a mind body modality?

[@danter1126]

What does it feel like to be free from it

[@ethereal9101]

@@SP-qi8ur i think what they mean is based on around a psychosomatic level. how issues of the mind (emotional issues like repressed anger bc of trauma) manifest as illness in the physical body when trauma is left unaddressed.

[@who-arewe]

@S P , I think they meant they found a certain practice that they took up like yoga or meditation or breathing exercise that helps their body and mind unravel the trauma stored there.

[@gooseballkills]

Likewise, I found out about EMDR in that book and it radically helped overcome trauma over an 8 month period

[@newglowgurl]

Let's all unite here not by our differences in traumatic events, but by the strength and hope we all carry inside us for better days !

[@erincaitlin1655]

Hear, hear !!

[@lacyyyy]

🤎

[@04Serena]

I wish that for you, Isabella♡ And for the rest of us as well.

[@jorritjipdejong4326]

I agree, I was suddenly excluded from my full class when I was fourteen. I've become distant and alert always in survival mode. I have been depressed since I was twelve and have become suicidal since the last month. I feel like I cant be traumatized cuz my experience is too mild and I don't want to offend anyone.

[@coppersense999]

@@jorritjipdejong4326 no matter what your trauma, anyone's pain and suffering can be great or small depending on their thoughts. No one has the right to compare or judge your experience. Keep sharing your story and giving yourself the acceptance and validation you needed at 14. No one deserves to be excluded by all their peers at that or any age, and I bet most of them regret it now. You have every right to feel hurt and to take extra special care of you now. If you can, release yourself from the added burden of resentment. They didn't know any better, and kids can be cruel. And again, offer your 14 year old self some compassion too. Good luck and thanks for sharing here. Sending prayers for guardian angels to watch over you tonight and every night. 💜

[@watchingthebees]

As a child, I’ve been through a lot of emotional, verbal and physical abuse. Now I’m 19 and in a constant state of survival, I have no idea how I can live normally and healthily

[@Thobela-h3x]

Hie there. I'm really sorry to hear about that. Is therapy accessible to you?

[@johnnyrodriguez5185]

Talk therapy with Nurofeedback can be beneficial also research brainspotting,emdr, stay strong in your recovery

[@patmurray8265]

That's why you need to talk to professionals who can help you. The quicker you do? The better your life will be when you are older. If money is an issue paying for treatment? Look for support programs, support groups. Don't let it go years.

[@patmurray8265]

@Anne🤍 ah, I did not know that. My apologies.

[@patmurray8265]

@Anne🤍 I care because I have been there. I experienced a plethora of childhood trauma. 16 foster homes and a mountain of abuse. Through professional help and self discovery I became a better person and partner. So, change can occur if you allow it too. Good luck with your future and don't give up.

[@itskeagan3004]

“The Body Keeps The Score” started my journey from a jail cell into recovery and a life free of drugs! I thank Dr Bessel for his work on trauma!

[@laurabetts4924]

Congratulations and many blessings to you! 🤗

[@aRaquel9510]

Congrats man, keep it uo

[@stephanienagle1]

You are awesome!

[@Legally_Bomb]

Congratulations 🍾🎉🎈🎊

[@jdurham2666]

Congratulations!! 🙏💐

[@Becky_Cal]

“What may be traumatic for you, many not be traumatic for me based on our personalities and prior experiences.” No truer statement could have been said. I come from a family where both my parents were heroin addicts, both were in and out of jail from the time I was 10, my brothers were 8 and 6. My dad was also an alcoholic and used to beat the living crap out of my mom…almost killing her at one point. My dad died of an overdose when I was 14 & my mom lost it, couldn’t cope and abandoned my middle brother and I and took my youngest brother with her (aged 9 at the time). Each one of us, the siblings, were affected very differently by this horrible childhood and situation. In fact, while my youngest brother and I cut our ties with our mother completely, my middle brother maintained a relationship with her in the later years when she’d gotten off heroin & was on a lifetime of methadone treatment. She also died fairly young, aged 54. My middle brother was somewhat shielded from the trauma of an absent mother bc I stepped in as a surrogate mother until he turned 18. That put a lot of pressure on my (at 15 years old) and I resented her for it, among all the other sh!t she’d done. My youngest brother, however, got the worst aspect of it bc she dragged him around w/her and he witnessed her shooting up & she’d leave him with random people and he was molested by an older man at age 10 (a so called friend of my mothers). I ended up a single mom at 18, worked my way through college and ended up with a successful career as an exec in a Fortune 200 company. My middle brother ended up in prison serving a 25 to life sentence and my youngest brother is a shut-in. He was able to hold a job for many years & then trauma got the best of him. He’s now on perm disability. Insanity…but yes, we are all affected very differently even when we’re from the same family and experience the same type of trauma!

[@marialotusaberg8521]

Thank you for sharing your story ❤ Sending you love and blessings 💕

[@meiter]

Thank you for sharing your experience so openly

[@LIVEwithNeVE]

Great story. Congrats on breaking the chain.

[@i.am.bethanyanne]

Wow you’re so strong

[@Sarah-rb4zd]

I'm so sad. You've been through so much. I feel sorry for you and your family. I pray for you. God bless. I wish I could say more. Thank you for your message 🙏 😊

[@aidandurkan15]

I teared up listening to this. I study biology and have always been interested in how the brain works. At a young age I watched my dad die in a work accident and I never received any mental help. It has consumed my emotions and destroyed many years of my life. Those moments always come back to me when ever I face adversity and they make me want to crumble, just to let my life shatter and remove all the progress. It's hard not to allow that to happen. People don't even try to see other points of view and it's very sad. I don't experience racism but I try to understand how that would effect ones life. Our society has no sense of others worth. It lacks the ability to do so. Because it's built that way.

[@deborahlincoln-strange622]

I recommend you read his book. I think it will help. You're not alone.

[@aidandurkan15]

@@deborahlincoln-strange622 yeah I was going to get the audio version. Appreciate it.

[@desi-musk]

In my country nobody visits the psyciatrist .. everyone bears their own burden.. and think about the people in north korea or myanmar or taliban now.. their life is hell.. so be satisfied with u have

[@aidandurkan15]

@@desi-musk I'm sorry you live that way but that's not how humans progress forwards. Just because someone has it easier then someone in a dictatorship does not forfeit their rights to feelings. The mind is much more complicated then that.

[@nicholashildenbrand8632]

If the trauma keeps coming back to you it's because you've yet to emotionally digest it. Seeking a therapist, a crisis counselor, or even a friend or teacher whom you trust and can discuss it with will help you greatly. Ultimately once you've had the chance to discuss it you must face the emotion instead of repressing it or running from it. This does not mean think about it further, your emotions are processed by your 'gut' not your head. You'll have to feel it without resistance. Given the opportunity to feel it without judgement it will eventually go away.

[@petor95]

"The trauma is not the event that happens, it is how you respond to it."

[@ElCapitanDeLaNoche]

Agreed. Although, the way I remember it was that psychological trauma was initiated by the crisis state caused by a person's inability to handle a given situation with the tools they normally have at their disposal. The key to helping them through such a state was to help them find/develop new psychological tools to be able to overcome the situation or issue. This empowerment breeds confidence to handle future, similar, situations and reduces traumatization... To be fair, my skill set in this area is a bit old and may be subject to newer information.

[@somethingsomethingsomethingg]

@@ElCapitanDeLaNoche this gave me quite a clarity. Thanks.

[@mord0]

@@ElCapitanDeLaNoche As a therapist, I’ve seen even the most capable and adaptable clients have the deepest trauma - ironically, the trauma itself often breeds compensatory skills in the individual to offset the hypervigilant/dissociated states. You’re speaking to a top-down approach which can be effective but it seems as though he is referring to a bottom-up approach. You sound as if you used to work in trauma?

[@ElCapitanDeLaNoche]

@@mord0 Just an old field hand... Worked a lot of domestic disturbance calls. I tended to use the old Bard Crisis Intervention Model as it tended to reduce return calls to the same location. As you might expect, my approach was in the minority with my peers.

[@TheShoelessGuy]

EASIER SAID THAN BLOODY DONE. I swear peoples "trauma" these days must be some light shit if they can just choose to wake up one day like "oh okay, these memories that have caused fibromyalgia , cyclical vomiting syndrome, postural orthostatic tachycardia, and PTSD are now fine. I'll just view them differently, almost as easily as making a bowl of cereal. What a revelation. Thank you" aha, what a load.

[@tomsisson660]

The worst part of trauma (for me, for my own part) is that you never feel safe and secure no matter how much others you know say that they love you. Worse than that, is that every day, you feel unsafe and unsecure because the traumatic event keeps getting relived in your mind. Tom Sisson

[@charlottetaylor4471]

Even worse is when the trauma stops you from forming any relationships in the first place

[@heartsofhealing5003]

I can relate to you. Thanks for sharing this 💜 Sending you love 💕

[@dreamergirl1140]

I can definitely understand this. I have not felt safe in my body for over a decade now and swing wildly from hyper aware of the attention and signals I get from men in order to know when to clam up or to the opposite where I am fairly disassociated in the moment. Only 2 exes have noticed that I dissociate, and they have experienced much more trauma than me, so I’m guessing they know what it looks like. But for anyone who hasn’t experienced a similar trauma, I don’t know how to explain it so that they understand. I really connect with your comment about never feeling safe and secure, and I’m sorry you’re on this side of knowing what it feels like.

[@eg-draw]

The worst part is people being offended by your behavior like "how can you be afraid of _me_ ?" I can't control it man, it's not your fault but nor it's mine.

[@finabond8926]

I need his book.

[@elizabethwilliams6651]

Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.

[@patriaciasmith3499]

Please does anyone know where I can get them? I put so much on my plate and it really affects my stress and anxiety levels, I would love to try shrooms

[@Jennifer-bw7ku]

Psychedelics saved me from years of uncontrollable depression, anxiety and illicit pill addiction. imagine carrving heavy chains for over a decade and then all of a sudden that burden is gone. Believe it or not in a couple years they'll be all over for treatment of mental health related issues.

[@patriaciasmith3499]

@Micheal Harris Is he on instagram?

[@jeffsmith2447]

@Micheal Harris Can dr.sporess send to me in Ny?

[@pyromanic302]

I have been a loyal customer of Dr.Sporess for many years, but I found out yesterday that his shrooms are not good quality and that reviews are fake. DO NOT BUY I was hospitalised for a week it was EXCRUCIATINGLY PAINFUL and i may NEVER RECOVER from the awful shrooms Dr Sporess sells

[@wisdomtoknowthedifference]

All I can say that this man gets us trauma survivors. When he said, something upsets you that it's overwhelming, I couldn't agree more. That's trauma right there. I remember going out of control and actually thought I was going crazy!

[@Novastar.SaberCombat]

"Reflect upon the Past. Embrace your Present. Orchestrate our Futures." --Artemis 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ "Before I start, I must see my end. Destination known, my mind’s journey now begins. Upon my chariot, heart and soul’s fate revealed. In time, all points converge, hope’s strength re-steeled. But to earn final peace at the universe’s endless refrain, We must see all in nothingness... before we start again." 🐲✨🐲✨🐲✨ --Diamond Dragons (series)

[@ketselatolcha1652]

I do relate to that!.

[@nriqueog]

Reading his book currently. Also read, CPTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker. Another informative read if you suffer from Trauma experienced in Childhood.

[@bigthink7013]

📥𝟷𝟿𝟸𝟶𝟼𝟾𝟿𝟹𝟸𝟿𝟻

[@ethanschneider2422]

Absolutely agree on the CPTSD book

[@bastianrivero]

I started the book too days ago

[@y_wintersnow]

Thank you for recommending that

[@nriqueog]

@@y_wintersnow You're Welcome

[@999timepass]

Workplace bullying also is a traumàtic experience.

[@SimeonKirilovX]

Exactly. I worked for 6 months in social services and they treated me like a dog. The director even purposely shoved the biggest trauma in my life (my father) and it left me traumatized with constant headaches, stress from work and home, body tremors, anxiety and depression that led to Depersonalisation. I can't focus very well, my memory and feelings are numb and i have sleeping issues. I constantly forget and can't visualise. That place ruined me for life.

[@999timepass]

@@SimeonKirilovX Sorry to read your experience, Simon. Been there. I am sure you will be in a better place soon.

[@marys3738]

Omg! So glad someone mentions it. I experienced bullying when I was in college and then I was bullied at a workplace. The problem was that when I tried to stand up for myself at work no one who witnessed what happened came forward. Everyone was afraid and ended up saying they had not seen anything and everything was fine.

[@effielove4764]

work culture has become so abusive it severely aided in my own mental collapse

[@user-zu2kh8or7z]

@Nstink what

[@Nightdrives]

It’s weird that we can understand whats going on in our brain, we know what is wrong but we can’t change it by just thinking about this

[@nicolejordan5223]

this is why i'm doing EMDR

[@jorgejorge57]

You have to ACT to change it.

[@JuliaShalomJordan]

So frustrating.

[@agaphbou]

It's even weirder that most people need to reach rock bottom first in order to change their lives.

[@fairy4292]

​@@agaphbou Accurate!

[@FrankWade-np8er]

I could remember several years ago I suffered severe Trauma & depression and mental disorder. Was actually addicted to cigarettes and alcohol. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 11 years totally clean. Shrooms are God- sents.

[@AaronNelson-qt3qy]

Amen God bless people. Save your health save your mind. Life is better without heroin, cocaine, alcohol and cigarettes.And you have more money in your pocket. God bless everyone who has rejected the devils intentions to be addicted to alcohol and cigarettes etc which can cause so much damage to health.

[@AndrewElliott-oe5ym]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Germany. Really need!

[@mariaclara4480]

YES very sure of Dr.raymycology . I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today

[@lucyjoseph7062]

I hate that psilocybin gets grouped with drugs like cocaine and heroin. Mushrooms are a remedy, not a vice! I went on a microdose treatment for a couple of months and within the first week, every sight of a cigarette got me questioning why I was doing all that to myself. It really works.

[@annarita2322]

How do I reach out to him? Is he on telegram

[@RareGem369]

People with agoraphobia know trauma and isolation all too well! We need more awareness about it! Sending love to all on their healing journeys. 💗

[@bigtimber]

I was hit by a truck 8 years ago and lost my arm and leg. While laying on the side of the road I thought, "thankfully I'm Canadian" and I knew I was going to be well cared for.

[@sarah81894]

Yes, Canada is treating its citizens right and “the greatest country in the world” ought to learn a thing or two from you.

[@bigtimber]

@@sarah81894 maybe we can be a new beacon for the world. We used to rely on America for that, but they're dealing with some personal issues right now. They'll be back to greatness soon enough... I hope.

[@anonanon2712]

@@bigtimber when did 'we' rely on America for that? And a country that just recently had indigenous Canadian kids found in hidden burial sites cannot be a beacon for anything good, not any time soon. I think the world is a lot more complex than that.

[@hollydaze5625]

Canada is a woke crappy country

[@bigtimber]

@@anonanon2712 take that shit to the church that killed them.

[@nemrak4385]

I just finished reading his book 📖 it has validated everything I knew and felt as a survivor sexual trauma as a child! The answer is not CBT but emdr and mindfulness and meditation for trauma survivors! His a brilliant and great doctor 👏

[@SP-qi8ur]

What is wrong with CBT?

[@nemrak4385]

@@SP-qi8ur Trauma is not healed by just talking about it! It can only be healed by accessing the limbic brain the amygdala which is where most basic fight or flight experiences are stored. CBT does not reach into that part of the brain! EMDR works to access that part of the brain. Its simple eye movement practice that lets the past come into the present while you follow the the finger movement with your eyes of the therapist and tell what happened to you. Thats all but the eye movement is the key to changing the traumatized brain to awaken and rewire. so you as the victim are able to see the trauma as a past event that you then can get past by staying present and not being hijacked by flashbacks and anxiety thoughts of the events that caused the trauma! Hope it helps try it! Need a good trauma therapist whos knows how to perform EMDR. Dr Von Der Kolk is an expert of it and thats what he recommends in his book as well for trauma pts!

[@SP-qi8ur]

@@nemrak4385 Thanks for your reply, it's very interesting. Do you think CBT is useful for other ailments?

[@nemrak4385]

@@SP-qi8ur Sure no problem! Yes of course for MDD, OCD, phobias and other depression and anxiety disorders but not for trauma sufferers! Like Dr Van Der Kolk clarifies in his book trauma is stored in the BODY its about BODY SENSATIONS that were not processed when the traumatic event took place. So the victims body and brain were overwhelmed and couldn't escape so it has to now be able to process what happened so that you can let out so it can be healed. KEY IS MINDFULNESS STAYING IN THE PRESENT MOMENT! practice mindfulness. I learned about mindfulness by reading the book Untethered soul by Michael Singer. Its a short but life changing book I highly recommend it!

[@shyaaammeneen63]

@@nemrak4385 To feel better reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back straight, eyes closed, be as still as possible and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight with your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Anytime of the day or night before sleep sit or lie down on your back and observe your breath. Stillness brings internal peace. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.

[@Askalott]

I never hear people talk about how trauma is a political issue. This man is speaking truth. We don't talk enough about policy changes.

[@todiann27]

I once heard somebody say "it changes who you are, who you were on the way to becoming you" that said it all.

[@aylachipman7583]

I don't care if you've experienced trauma or not. His book is life changing and helped me understand myself and every other traumatized person in my life. It is life saving.

[@erambitious789]

Can you tell me the book name please?

[@delusion5867]

@@erambitious789 It's in the title: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk (the man speaking in the video)

[@erambitious789]

@@delusion5867 thank you so much

[@jackjackson3356]

Kolk links trauma to harsh social conditions, which is a break through ! Doctors tend sweep under the rug the social root cause of trauma in most cases !

[@lauratheexplorer6390]

So much trauma is due to relationships

[@meganfreeman3583]

Yeah I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and ADHD as a child when the therapist could clearly see the bruises my father inflicted on my mother. It’s easier and cheaper to just over medicate then to actually work with people’s trauma. Nowadays I know that I probably just suffer from PTSD and I actually recognize my triggers and deal with life without medication. Not saying everyone can or should or that medication does not benefit people, but the amount of people I’ve met misdiagnosed with some mental illness when they’ve experienced horrible events that were never spoken about or worked through is honestly so staggering and I blame the pharmaceutical industry personally.

[@Србомбоница86]

​@@meganfreeman3583absolutely agree ,I have anxiety and depresión but I genuinely feel PTSD ,I think that's the root of it all

[@beku2283]

If it's not in a textbook, it doesn't exist, right?

[@AndPennyThought]

I experienced something bad and then had the authority figures who I thought would protect me protect the perpetrators instead; worse they convinced me it was the right thing to do. This has had a tremendously negative effect on my life that took me a very long time to get past to any degree.

[@adrianaaaaaable]

I think that is the worst part, not having someone to defend you and do justice. The story would be different.

[@tinaholbrook9719]

That is devastating. I am so sorry to hear you say this. Parents should always advocate for their children. And if it wasn't your parents, whoever the authority figure was should have advocated for you. My heart goes out to you.

[@AndPennyThought]

@@tinaholbrook9719 Fortunately no, it was the school.

[@shyaaammeneen63]

@@AndPennyThought ​ To feel better reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Take a quiet journey inwards. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back straight, eyes closed, be as still as possible and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight with your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Anytime of the day or night before sleep sit or lie down on your back and observe your breath. Stillness brings internal peace. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.

[@AndPennyThought]

@@shyaaammeneen63 Meditation has been very important for my recovering. It's brought me back to life it feels like sometimes.

[@mana-yo8sw]

-“I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.” And then not defending yourself because you feel ashamed of yourself for being so “weak”. We are not weak. We are still alive, we have a chance to get better. We are strong.

[@godgiftfavour8165]

I guess normal people don't really know the stress I go through walking down the street being hyper vigilant, with my heart beat rising, hot flashes over my body and pretending like am getting what my friend is saying. It's a terrible way to live, feeling scared every time you step out.

[@universesixhit642]

❤

[@unfoldyourfreedom6060]

That was a big part of my healing, finally understanding that my body kept relieving the trauma and it all added up to become CPTSD. So freeing when you finally understand this and can use modalities and tools, such as yoga and meditation to support you to feel safe in your body to release the trauma. Thank you for all the work that you do.

[@wasupman2284]

Im struggling

[@biorebeca]

I was with my father when he died, at home. Being with the person you Love the most and watch him die is not sad, it’s terrifying. It was one year ago and some people expects me to just move on. I have built walls with people that Don’t understand my situation and also had to explain to others that I’m going to take whatever time I need to heal and care about my mother and brother. My brain is just working fine acording to this situation. I am strong and happy. I am not scared to feel whatever I have to, I feel better everyday and I won’t ever forget my father. Be careful if you have trauma because healing and “not thinking about” or “forgetting” are not the same.

[@josephinebournes8212]

Sending you a warm, empathetic cyber hug 🫂

[@SlightlyTarded]

I witnessed the same thing with my dad. Still think about it every now and then. Cancer

[@Captain_MonsterFart]

Me too. I took care of my mother as she died at home. I also watched her leave and it was extremely strange to witness. Year two hit me far harder than year one, I experienced visual flashbacks to things that happened. But it has eased up in the last few months. I guess it just takes a while. People who have no experience REALLY don't understand. Best to ignore or forgive their idiot statements.

[@dawnjackson1802]

In my experience, something metaphysical happened at the witness of death. I was alone, with nobody to call. I hallucinated seeing angels with black wings in the room. It took 2 years, but the trauma is gone now. Walking daily in a nice area heals.

[@hildalopez9494]

I was in the hospital room when my husband passed away. I was alone. Even just typing this out makes me cry. He's been gone for three years. I was expected to be strong for my daughters and act like everything was ok as time went on. I get triggered and it messes me up. Although I didn't suffer any physical pain that situation was traumatic both mentally and emotionally. Hugs to you

[@Jojo-ri4mx]

Now i know why it’s hard for me to express joy and coordinate my thoughts

[@sylviagomez9523]

Emotion=energy in motion; we hold trauma in our bodies. Movement is so important. Hip work and jogging helps me deal with the trauma.

[@jmc8076]

“To be sentimental or emotional is not love, because sentimentality and emotion are mere sensations.” - Jiddu Krishnamurti

[@carolechristmas-xmascarole]

Made me realize that I need to have more compassion for myself. I greatly appreciate this video. Thank you.

[@Crumpets7377]

This is the best explanation of what I have been feeling for the last few months. I never feel at peace, in a constant fight or flight mode. Best holistic view of trauma that I have ever come across. Thank you.

[@patrickking9600]

This man is saving lives, and I hope that maybe his book can help me. I’m thankful that he studied neuroscience instead of politics, but now where are we going to find angels like him to organize society for us?

[@Zaz3014]

when you tell others that "this" thing traumatized you and now you want to distant yourself from "this" for your own mental peace, and they don't understand at all and expect you to embrace what traumatized you. Yeah, it hurts a lot

[@leoking422]

I was physically assaulted when I was 18 almost 19 years old, I'm 28 now and I still deal with the anger, sadness and emptiness from that night. He made a great point, about the dog biting you as a kid and if you're parents picked you up and cared for you or protected you it would traumatize you less that makes sense because when I was assaulted my Ex boyfriend just watched and no one helped me till the police got there so I see why I never got over it even after therapy and so on, I think it is a feeling I will always have and would never move on from it.

[@kingralphyforever]

I called my mom for help. She said she was at work. The cop said. Ma'am ur son was almost murdered.

[@BK-kk3em]

Your experience may or may not qualify for PTSD. Unless you're diagnosed with it it might be just a general "trauma", but not PTSD. They are two different things.

[@haleyb.1341]

@@BK-kk3em great job invalidating someone’s else’s trauma. You don’t know if they have PTSD. From the sound of it, how it still affects them, it sounds like they do.

[@leoking422]

@@BK-kk3em Oh you're a doctor? Cool lol go diagnose some other people cuz I was diagnosed with PTSD but a legit doctor not some dumb kid on KZbin comments thanks for your 2 cents it's worth less than that hun

[@leoking422]

@@haleyb.1341 He thinks he's a doctor lol xD

[@skybee001]

Some things happened to me as a kid that I never spoke up about. Years later I developed a tumor in my throat/neck area, and I needed surgery to remove it. I later had a therapist who told me that the body holds on to the trauma, and it made sense that I developed an issue in my throat because I was afraid to speak. Mind blown 💕

[@kellyjostad4900]

🤔💚

[@sylverscribs0490]

i would be kind of inclined to disagree? the body, your nervous system, keeps the score, not something symbolic of “not speaking” like the throat. while the stress could have raised your chances of developing a tumor, it would not have caused it directly.

[@babycoleangel]

I agree with this 100%...

[@joeliaskywalker]

@@sylverscribs0490 yeah I agree.

[@Mistyfaery]

@@sylverscribs0490 I agree with you that it won't be a specific as "I was afraid to speak so it affected my throat", but unresolved trauma has been proven to cause Thyroid issues for example. It's not just your nervous system...which can also affect everything else too,but I digress. Suffice to say; Mind and body are far more connected than people realize. 🤷‍♀️

[@jusletursoulglobaby]

by far one of the best descriptions of trauma I've ever read or heard. the ending where he advocates for a society that recognizes and implements policies to offset these events is huge. we can only hope for a lawmaker and political figure who thought this way

[@DesiFR25]

People with trauma desire to be heard, validated and understood. It helped me.

[@annaburns2865]

I’m so glad that I am watching this video. I used to hate growing up in the 90s/2000s and still hearing that only the military or War Heroes had PTSD. I’m so glad that he makes the point that PTSD is actually a very common occurrence. I also, would like to know how to get rid of trauma that is trapped in my body and as a substitute teacher, I would like to help kids as well. It’s way more common than we think and it’s really sad that kids are growing up like this.

[@breannanorthrup5498]

I want a full documentary based on this book. I love it.

[@thetanmancan]

"Cracked Up", the Darrell Hammond documentary, is the closest thing I've seen. It features interviews with Bessel van der Kolk.

[@livestock9722]

The Summary of the New Medicine, by Dr. Hamer, nails it down far better. This stuff here only scratches the surface. But good luck finding the book. Last I found was a $3000 copy... all I can say is that my suffering is a thing of the past.

[@Bigdogiswolfing]

I'm finally free, 25 years of worry, fear and anxiety. This book and a body jamboly. Now I can finally live a happy carefree life. Thankyou god bless

[@peachypear8765]

My mother was very mentally ill while I was growing up. I was 12 when she finally snapped. I remember her throwing things at me, punching my back and arms, pinching me, throwing things at me etc. She ended up throwing this heavy large book at the back of my head, and I finally managed to escape. Whenever people have patted or touched the back of my head, I always get pulled back to that moment, and I start to tear up. This video was really helpful. Thank you.

[@BluetheRaccoon]

What do we do if we've never had that foundational safety? I grew up in a very violent household. My mother was schizophrenic, which I only learned as an adult but suspected *something* was terribly wrong. She was also a polysubstance abuser with chronic pain, severe childhood trauma, and 5 autistic children- myself included but never formally diagnosed. I've been working on myself this entire time, trying to avoid becoming like my mother, and a stable foundation is still impossible because I am physically disabled. Life should consist of more than barely treading water, and it's sheer willpower that keeps me going at this point.

[@bearded_riffs]

God bless you ✨✨

[@nancywutzke5392]

"What do we do if we've never had that foundation of safety?" Exactly! I've been asking that also! I don't know either 😢 Been on this planet 58 yrs and have never felt safe.

[@evviolet8370]

@@nancywutzke5392 God I guess and it's crazy how strong that foundation of safety actually can be bcos literally NO ONE , not even anything on this Earth can take that away from u , once u believe , u believe , and that's to me is the strongest foundation of safety

[@codacreator6162]

I wasn’t beaten on a regular basis, but a couple of times were really, really bad. The rest of the time, we all just kept our heads down and tried to stay off the radar, constantly vigilant for the potential, unexpected violence.

[@alexandra5127]

I can understand that feeling of constant hyper vigilance. It wears on your nervous system so much. People these days don’t understand why I jump so easily… hope ur doin ok

[@SiobhánRose-k]

Sending love ❤ so sorry you went through that

[@PipoGirlTv]

I had the same type of experience. It was heartbreaking finding myself at 34yo being "promoted" to the one with those potential, unexpected violence rants.

[@sjoerdhartman9181]

​@@PipoGirlTv As if potential unexpected violence is not the norm? 🤷🏼‍♂️ How then, were we supposed to know this? 🤦🏼‍♂️ 🤷🏼‍♂️

[@codacreator6162]

@@sjoerdhartman9181 it’s different when it lives inside your family, your home. That place that’s supposed to be safe, stable, predictable. When it’s not, you have no defense against trauma outside because of the threat inside. I understand more about trauma today than I ever suspected could be true. Read Dr. Van der Kolk’s book.

[@AliveBoldTV]

This work is so necessary I think the ending point is the most important. It’s not just the trauma that impacts us, it’s the environment! Culturally, our society enables us to continue living in that space because we lack support

[@carmelcream7662]

If the system condones DV then we become trapped in the cycle of trauma.If a victim is shamed and revictimised how can they heal.

[@wasupman2284]

I feel this way to

[@Whyamiherel0l]

Had a terrible traumatizing experience in college and non of the friends there had my back. Made me have a mental breakdown and anxiety for five years. Thank god I had a strong loving family who made me feel better since I wasn’t stable enough to look for help.

[@Ginzalili]

Can I ask what your experience was in college?

[@rubal1738]

This book is life changing. It heals you. Loved it!!

[@JamesJJ-y4p]

Yes Psychedelics offer new hope for mental health treatment.

[@JacksonSmith-h5u]

I want to become a mycologist because honestly mushrooms are the best form of medicine (most especially the psychedelic ones) There are so many people today used magic mushrooms to ween off of SSRI medication- its amazing! Years back i wrote an entire essay about psychedelics.

[@AichaKanta-o9c]

Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source. 🙏

[@PetMatheus-u9c]

doctormaxshrooms is your guy, got all kinds of psychedelics.-:(

[@martialwoods-gy5tb]

Where do I reach this dude? If possible telegram or TikTok

[@PetMatheus-u9c]

Yes he's doctormaxshrooms. I know few friends who no longer suffer ptsd and anxiety with the help of shrooms.

[@tropezando]

Widespread trauma is a major contributor to the explosion of inflammatory disease. I can directly draw a line from my severe health issues starting in my teens/20s to my abuse and neglect as a child. Knowing that the things that happened to me then will continue to affect my life forever has made it very difficult to move beyond that time in my life in any meaningful way, and has made it hard to not to give in to catastrophization whenever something bad happens. I'm working on it. Beyond my own anecdote, studies have shown that many autoimmune diseases and chronic health conditions have an increased likelihood of occurring in people with a history of adverse childhood events. The fact that in America, we have prohibitively expensive medical and mental health care, means that people who were let down by their inner support group are also being let down by their wider community/politicians as they are given no help to access treatment for the effects of their trauma. Universal healthcare is a dire necessity, it is ridiculous and irresponsible that we don't have it. We need to care about and for each other more.

[@LM-yn5xq]

YES 👏👏👏👏

[@gaycryptidhours]

Felt that let down by the wider community bit way too hard.

[@divine9100]

Indeed & America needs to take accountability on how their racism past & present affected the black Americans as well✨

[@derboihimself4830]

He forgot School, a place where prolonged conflict can also lead to such symptoms.

[@shootingstars6762]

He was only giving a few examples. He didn't say that those were the only things that could cause trauma.

[@satsumasada7553]

His book talks the school/childcare/prison system in his book. The book is very extensive. There's no way to cover it in an 8 minute video.

[@Human1136]

I've been harassed by my generation whilst they were mocking me and my mom behind a parking lot for no reason while we were just walking I had tons of anxiety and ran back home halfway threatened to commit suicide because how TRAUMATIZING it was for me... I hate this world

[@bridaw8557]

Bullying labeling bad teachers abuse. A literal captive audience

[@margauxbonnardot7173]

I believe he gave those examples because those are the one more likely to not only traumatize you but give you severe PTSD / CPTSD i believe

[@mindfulmomentswithColm]

what helped me is journalling, empathy, yoga, qi gong, healthy eating, positive affirmations

[@leilam1010]

when you said trauma makes it hard to experience pleasure and joy it finnaly hit me…. my mom would always make comments about how “miserable” i was knowing i had been sa’d recently so what did i have to be happy about anyways ??? but i literally had to deal with psychological torment every single day, had to deal with harassment every single day at school, i begged her to take me out of that school i begged and begged .

[@deborahlincoln-strange622]

I have his book. I haven't finished reading it, but so far what I've read it's excellent!

[@pdxmusl1510]

It is. I recovered from ptsd. His book was a huge impact on my recovery. Im sure there other great books, but his helped me connect with what was happening to me. I couldn't put it down which is rare for me. Ive read it multiple times.

[@metasamsara]

i have had this book on my to read list forever. im bad at reading self help books other than psychology articles online, but even the title alone helped me process so much stuff and I will definitely get to reading it one day, it's recommended all the time. The book title especially resonates to me because i used to have repressed memories but it didn't prevent me from showing acute stress and anxiety in reactions to events i didn't even realize were triggering me. But the body knows, the body keeps the score. Getting more attuned to my body and emotions on psychedelics after all these years of apathy and repressed memories helped me recover the memories and process most of the trauma thanks to it. I still have aphantasia that developed after my childhood trauma. Would love for the author to look into aphantasia vs trauma and repressed memories, and more importantly, if acquired aphantasia can be reverted. It's something science doesn't know much about still.

[@rrpeg2562]

Dude is beyond brilliant. ❤️🤘

[@cathyu.1487]

I read this book a couple of years ago - wonderful! Tremendously helpful.

[@shyaaammeneen63]

@@metasamsara ​To feel better reduce negative thoughts with a simple practice. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety. For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back straight, eyes closed, be as still as possible and observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 5-10-15 minutes or more. Don’t fight with your thoughts. Slowly the mind will relax. No deep breathing needed. Anytime of the day or night before sleep sit or lie down on your back and observe your breath. Stillness brings internal peace. Like me, make this a lifetime daily habit to have a good life. Avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Best wishes Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.

[@noplansplease4345]

keep spreading this, we are a traumatised bunch. Generational and covert trauma is real and needs to be acknowledged.

[@letschatsg9021]

Thank you Sir for the concise presentation of trauma. I've recently realised that previous long term mental trauma when I was younger has resulted in the current me. Currently trying to slowly undo the damage one step at a time. To all those who are in the same shoes - hugs and kisses. There's nothing we can do about what has already happened but we can try to move away from it.

[@Becky_Cal]

❤️❤️❤️

[@pryncecharming2133]

I suffer from complex ptsd due to a violent childhood and adolescence. Ive been healing and this book has been a great tool in my arsenal.

[@richellekracht202]

This book really helped me and I am very glad I found this video. I grew up in a very chaotic household. My mother was a domestic violence victim and my stepfather nearly killed her (all with us in view and aware of what was happening). The flight, fight or freeze aspect played out for me within the last few years, as my sister in law constantly engaged in verbally aggressive, belittling and ever present attack behavior. This triggered my PTSD from childhood and I sought therapy specifically for PTSD. It changed my life. Find a good therapist you connect with and a therapy that works for you. For me, it was WET (Written Exposure Therapy) that worked wonders for me. If you have experienced trauma and are a writer, this may be something worth exploring.

[@Guz2x]

I'd like to know more about that matter

[@DamsonIdris-rh6sx]

I suffered the borderline disorder for over 23 years. With so much anxiety Not until I came across psilocybin mushrooms treatmentPsilocybin treatment actually saved my life honestly. 6 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms

[@FletcherHackman]

Microdosing helped me get out of the pit of my worst depressive episode, a three year long episodeenough to start working on my mental health

[@ChristianMaxwell-sz6bf]

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Germany. Really need

[@ValerianNnaemezie]

Is he on instagram?

[@ChristianMaxwell-sz6bf]

Does he make delivery across the state??

[@ElizabethJenny-xu3ky]

Yes, dr.porass. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

[@reeltalk5]

This video contains such an important piece of information that is missing at large in our global awareness. The anger and confusion of trauma passes on from peer to child, generationally embedding itself until one person in the chain receives the help of a trained therapist. The healing begins when this cycle is broken.

[@KrishnaChaudhary-wd9qq]

I was sexually abused at the age of five by an adult men which definitely affected in every sector of my life. I am an introvert, struggled alot at study since my childhood. Now, I discovered I am suffering from PTSD and HOCD. Nobody knows until now, I can't tell my family and friends. I am reading and doing research. Very soon going to therapist, hope everything will be fine.

[@mari401430]

I wish you peace 🤗 😔

[@KrishnaChaudhary-wd9qq]

@@mari401430 thankyou

[@sarahrashina2562]

Please find a good therapist , because i have been in therapy ,most are not my fit.

[@EthanBryansMom]

You will be well

[@MJAY-N7129]

I am so so very sorry. How are you? How are you really? I can't fix all your problems but I hope I can support you :)

[@alejandronogueerol9491]

I love this. Educating our future generation into learning how to treat others is a huge and important way that needs to be applied, since everything starts from childhood. All the things people do every action and everything they say has a root attached to it. People do what they do for many reasons and not all of us are able to to see other’s point of view. Wether is dumb or not our brains are attached to survival, making us act how we think fits the best for us, and is not always our fault.

[@carolyncard6134]

I have PTSD anxiety and depression as well as multiple health issues.i also have amnesia from a head injury. I have nightmares every night and struggle with life. I get through this on my own but it gets very hard. best wishes to everyone out there suffering.

[@carolyncard6134]

@broken south thankyou very much, your right we are. All the best.

[@teresamartins9658]

Sometimes medicine can help. Chemicals in the 🧠 imbalances

[@annedio2828]

Same here got sexual abuse when I was a kid, then got taken away from police got abused in the foster care system, ran away from home at 13 4 times, then ran away from home at 16. Got married at 20 got abuses more during the relationship. To this day I still struggle

[@carolyncard6134]

@@annedio2828 I'm really sorry to hear you went through that. I was out of home at 14 too. I wish you all the very best. Be kind to yourself you have been through a lot

[@ooooooooo8853]

I’ve met so many toxic people that would say derogatory things to me and would be so disrespectful towards me. Ive also been physically and mentally bullied in middle school and high school . My so called “friends” have betrayed me. I have trust issues now and I don’t open up to people that much. And that makes me anti social. Which makes me even more depressed. And I have an attitude of being mad at the world and people in general for doing cruel things to me. I really need to see a psychologist.

[@annette_lovesjesus222]

Jesus loves you my friend. 💝 You matter so much. Sending love!

[@elle-ls7ks]

Finally, a scientific evidence that proves how trauma affects people. This goes to show how we are created not to hurt each other but to care for one another. How politics poverty health care and everything else affects each one of us. Assualt, war, we are not called for this. Justice truth compassion grace goes hand in hand. Hoping that trauma victims and survivors get the justice and healing they deserve. We see you. Also thanks to this man, he is a very good doctor and scientist, thank you sir for this work!

[@somnia9796]

Thank you for much for this video. I just realized the different ways someone can be traumatized. When I was 5 years old, I almost accidently killed another girl. Even 15 years later, I am still to afraid to get my driver's license or do any other things that could hurt someone. Hope this is getting better someday.

[@jacobmorris4053]

What I appreciate most is that Van Der Kolk highlighted that it’s essential to address trauma at the community/societal level, as what causes is less individual and more so a symptom of something flawed in the system.

[@sammyn549]

I am about half-way through this book. I have weekly talk therapy, and a few weeks ago I began getting ketamine infusions for my treatment resistant depression and PTSD. I know that I have work ahead of me to continue, but I am feeling more encouraged now than I ever have as an adult who has struggled. To anyone reading this who needs some encouragement: get the help that you feel you need. It’s never too late. ❤️

[@agentjordan605]

Got you i will

[@hiker64]

I have been reading a bit about ketamine therapy - Was wondering how you're doing a year later.

[@claytonthomas824]

This is really well said and edited as well. Even the background music. I've had a lot of trauma. So much that as an adult I blew up in a car lost my leg etc and I don't consider that traumatic. I feel a lot better now. Able to slow then stop drugs and alcohol... cigs still linger. But I have hope and enjoy my life. I meditate and forgive myself. I cry and allow feeling to come back. I used to find safety in guns and now I find safety in faith. No specific one just an energy source thats compassionate somewhere that created us. Makes me happy to think of how things are now. Still a lot to do, but this video is really informative and helpful. Thanks

[@jesshakkinen]

I'm deeply traumatized by severe OCD crises. I associate people, objects, behaviors, songs, to name a few things, with being totally confused, anxious and distressed by my rampant intrusive thoughts. After the episode is over, I still look at those things and relate them to the times I was obsessing. Exhausting.

[@uselesshuman7644]

Relatable

[@purplevelvet9577]

i know how you feel and frankly, most of those thoughts are just lies. You are not them. Remember that always

[@mondaypositivitea]

I recently read this book and it blew my mind. We don't understand how even sometimes our words can create trauma. Humans can heal each other and hurt each other really bad. The doctor slash author has done an amazing work by writing this book.

[@ThatBroncoBabe]

After being traumatized and then spending two years in silence, and then finally getting therapy and mental health services. You realize just how much in survival mode you were. I can’t believe some of the things I did but I know I was trying to keep myself safe. TALK TO SOMEONE YOU TRUST! Don’t let thoughts and feelings fester alone inside of you

[@sollymadeit]

The trauma they give us and the systems they build to keep us traumatized till we die.

[@dr.nug7103]

You can’t just cure being traumatized, that would make it not such big of a deal.

[@madisondampier3389]

Religious indoctrination has my entire family tree sucked into narcissism and I'm included against my wishes

[@M311Y]

The problem now is no one's in control to make beneficial changes, the constructs/systems you speak of are an entity in and of itself...born into bondage.

[@azeezahgoodwin918]

You’re so right, we are intentionally traumatized to keep us weak and sick.

[@babyboy1971]

My mother tried to kill herself with a razor and I found her and saved her life. 3 months later she was dead of cancer. A year later, I lost my dad to a stalker, who married him, took all his money and later, dug up my mother’s grave. Then 9/11 happened. 14 years later, my dad died and I was in a car accident on the same day. Then I lost my job a month later. Trauma after trauma. No one can understand unless they’ve been through it. Chronic pain is something I constantly fight with, when I’m not frozen or wanting to run. The pandemic has only made it worse. Now I’m studying trauma, so I can get out and then, hopefully, help others.

[@KitKatToeBeans]

I hope that you found something (or several things) to help you heal from your traumas and help ease or even eliminate your pain, which they say ofc is trapped trauma/emotions. I only recently learned about TRE & Tapping. I wish I knew decades ago that trauma trapped in our bodies caused illnesses as I’ve been unwell since childhood. Right now I can feel something wanting to boil over and finally be released but I know I’m not ready to handle those emotions. But the pain I’m feeling is becoming unbearable, and those who know me know how high my pain tolerance is. I’m truly sorry you experienced so much pain in your life….I hope you’re doing better now.

[@woobielocks]

I got the Stellate Ganglion block 3x, twice in the right and one in the left. A few months after the third, while I had dramatic improvements with each procedure after the last I began to be able to remember what happened to traumatize little me but I can remember from the knowledge of my adult mind. Finally, after her being dead for more than a decade (murder by new husband) I finally see what the real deal was. After 38 years I can see that she was a narcissist and failed to mother me.. I was never bad or a slutty 10 year old. She was not a mother. She was an adversary, alcoholic, and betrayed her child like a narcissist woman does. I didn’t ruin her family, and she blamed me and then chemically silenced me and sucked the sympathy. Liberating for me to finally learn I don’t deserve to be hurt and oh wow not crazy. At 10 and 20 and 30 and 35 I was on like 10-17 bottles two or three times daily of antipsychotics and mood stabilizers, tranquilizers, all kinds of stuff. I remember the little me. We need to reparent the little kid inside of us. I even stopped losing a day or so of time! I can talk full sentences and I feel like I just got kissed by a prince and woke up at 40. And my panic disorder, the crippling feeling I had-not one day I didn’t feel it In my stomach- it’s GONE entirely. Stellate Ganglion block. I had to pick with my taxes- housing or ganglion block. I live in a shelter right now, but I’m alive and aware and don’t hate myself anymore. I actually have talents, I am kind, and I kinda like me a little bit. I am 100% positive I chose correctly. It is a miracle, I will say it.

[@jeanbudden1129]

I’m so sorry you went through all this trauma

[@trishaprett7721]

Wish you success.only a person who understands suffering can assist those who are suffering.I never had issues with mental health,but suffered injury in hospital that left me in constant pain,reduced mobility.Lost my nursing job that I loved.I was in bed 14 months trying to save my foot.Then discharged no aftercare.I finally asked for referral to a Psychiatrist,who was very rude,condescending.Many others complained about him,I heard afterwards.He told me to get CBT privately.He did not even speak to me.He read answers to questions I had given to a very young Doctor beforehand.

[@huntermock96]

Ever find out why the grave was dug up?

[@Tammissa]

Yes, this is so true. I’ve had a lot of trauma in my life and it’s destroyed my life. I can’t seem to get past it. It’s changed who I am forever.

[@Kormac80]

Sorry for your situation, and I hope you find a path to equanimity and ultimately, back to peace and joy. The most important thing is believing, truly and deeply believing you deserve peace and joy. And then working for it. I healed my trauma using plant medicine work and integration with a community of fellow practitioners, but there are many paths - as long as you believe you deserve peace and joy. Some in our group didn't really find that belief and their healing was limited by it. Those who truly believe they deserve peace and joy have done the best. Good luck.

[@p.g.was_here]

I feel the same

[@AprilGarciaDfw]

If you've experienced childhood trauma i would recommend you read this book. It definitely has helped me understand so much about myself

[@AntisepticHandwash]

Everyone needs to read the book - The Body Keeps the Score. I also highly recommend the documentary The Wisdom of Trauma. What's happening here is like the medical discovery of bacteria. Or the invention of penicillin. This is world-changing stuff. Everyone needs to know about it!

[@MileinaJuarez]

I had the most horrific trauma from the stillbirth of my son after medical mistake. The feeling of complete helplessness . My doctor taking so long to believe me that I don’t feel well and a mistake had happened. But even worse was the realization that we may never be able to have another child. Adoption is so hard, unlikely and expensive. This again leaves me helpless because there’s nothing I can do about it. I started getting weird unexplainable symptoms weeks after it happened. It’s been over two years and my mind is in prison. The only good thing is that not a lot of things make me panic anymore. So many things I used to worry about seem so small compared to what happened.

[@katrinaclark6376]

I recently discovered that adoption does not have to be expensive if you go through the state instead of a private agency. I know that wasn't the focus of your message, but wanted to share.

[@MileinaJuarez]

@@katrinaclark6376 we have talked to a state agency. 70% of direct foster children are between 16 and 21. Less than 10% are under 8. We’d gladly adopt a six year old girl , plus minus two years but they told us the chances are super slim. The best chances are to be a foster family and hope that one day a child stays, wich happens in 1 out of ten children. Maybe one day, we could go through that but for now, we couldn’t bare, to foster a child and give it back to their family. Friends of ours adopted a seven year old boy, who was kicked out of multiple foster families, because he was problematic. But they made it work and he’s very happy now. It is certainly possible but rare. Everyone can look up the available children on the swan website of their state and will quickly see, what I mean. Although we could imagine m to adopt a teenager, when we are much older than now, for now, they strongly advised us against it. Edit: I didn’t mind you sharing. People need to talk about these things, it’s important.

[@elizabethmcleod246]

Natalie, I feel you. Doctors should listen to their patients. Sending you love and hope.

[@megyyyyyyy]

Sending my love.

[@michellewright2970]

Sending you love.

[@djdtk]

The last part about how there are societies where people have created systems and institutions to take care of each other-with universal healthcare and childcare, income equality-that was brilliant. ⭐⭐⭐ Whereas in US, everyone has to fight so much for basic things like childcare and enrolling kids into the best school, and the kids who get in trouble at school end up in the crime-to-jail pipeline because of untreated trauma, etc, etc. etc.

[@danieltijaro859]

I grew up watching my dad, grandad verbally abusing the women in my family. Everytime I hear a loud discussion something snaps and takes me back to when I was 6 yrs, some days is difficult overcoming those feelings

[@NickPeters-eq8vp]

The Anxiety Guy has helped me with Trauma he has so many powerful skillsets. I was holding trauma in my neck and throat chakra. Its very important to get to the root cause.

[@amelittaberretta9109]

Indeed, reliving it for decades. I believe in forgiveness, but the wounds inflected are hard to forget, they are deep inside me.

[@richardscathouse]

Exactly

[@AllTawakalLodgehotel]

❤

[@kmbranca]

This man is my hero. By far the greatest, most significant, most impactful, most important book I've ever read.

[@upstatenewyork]

My father tried to kill my mother when I was a child. And he tried more than once. This was my introduction to trauma. I wish it had never happened. One, because I love my mother, and two, it became a baseboard for my emotional health. I was young and impressionable and being exposed to that screwed up my personality. As shocking as it might sound, I had no one to talk to as his violence was in full swing. I went on to college and law school but still have PTSD. It shows up the most in my relationships. Any relationship. Being a neighbor, at work. You name it.

[@Becky_Cal]

You and me both. I completely understand and empathize as I experienced something similar (along with both parents being heroin addicts and my father dying of an overdose when I was 14). I too went on to college, am successful by any definition but after being married briefly from age 18-23, and being left a single mother at a you g age, I’ve not really been able to sustain a long-term relationship. I’ve accepted it at this point. I have many platonic & female friends but it’s the intimate/romantic relationships that have never quite worked out for me.

[@haleys3062]

CPTSD is even worse, in my opinion, though regular PTSD is just as valid. It’s not just trauma and flashbacks and emotional responses from a singular event. It’s trauma and flashbacks and emotional responses from MULTIPLE events, usually from early childhood. Therefore the physical consequences are pretty devastating as well. I didn’t even know my eczema could flare up due to my CPTSD until I read it in his book. And it takes a lot longer to heal from. People don’t understand just how long it takes to recover from MULTIPLE traumatic events and it completely shapes who I am.

[@Saavycupcake]

I understand what you’re saying, as I also have cptsd, but it’s not The Who has it worse olympics. Everyone with the diagnosis (and some don’t even have a diagnosis) are struggling like you and I.

[@Killua_Zoldyck3407]

Ikrrrr? 😣 The only person who actually understands you is yourself. I try telling my councelor she be like, "Oh, So you dissociate from yourself! That's ok, we all dissociate from ourselves it's normal 😀" it might be normal SOMETIMES! Not everyday in front of people with tears in your eyes while they're trying to talk to you. Me three min later: huh...did you say something...? 💀 I'm aware they're trying to tell me something but I'm stuck in this truamatic event i can't snap myself out of... My bff is the only person who doesn't judge my past but she moved away when we were 12 (I'm 17 now) we rarely see each other anymore because of school. She's the only person who actually made me happy, all my other "friends" always turn out to be bullies. She's like a shadow that follows me around everywhere especially at school. I go to an international school so it's common for me to see racism middle schoolers are always getting into fist fights and the highschool students do it to me to. They mostly judge me by my skin color. One time a black middle schooler through a salad box at a white middle schooler then he ran to the bathroom. 🤦 My English teacher, "Angela i want you to stop putting your palm on your chin, slouching on the desk, coming in like you don't like it here and acting like you're not ok!" Firstly, maybe i don't like it here, also, she's never asked me once how i really am! She just says, "Hi Angela how are you today? ☺️" Me: I'm ok I guess... 😣 My teacher: That's awesome! She doesn't actually ask me if I'm ok and check up on me! And her out of all the other teachers tells me this shit! She's the one who lectures us about mental illness and suicide that makes me sick to my stomach. It's like hypocrisy. Maybe I'm bored, maybe I'm tired (of living), maybe I'm sad, maybe in angry... She wouldn't know unless she actually asked! 😭 I always wear a skeleton sweater (that represents death for me) and black pants i thought that would make if obvious to her by now... She doesn't know about me or my past so why does she just say that out of nowhere? I don't understand...i didn't do anything to her.

[@donnahanford5781]

I hear you 🫂

[@dejhiagandy]

I’m currently going through that with my eczema and it has been hard to heal it then normal do you have any advice on it?

[@thomasperrelli5266]

I feel like Cptsd can be difficult to explain to people. i feel i've gotten mislabeled and misjudged by dr's and "loved" ones. it has a very isolating aspect.

[@majkhader113]

Thanks

[@Kringspiermusketier]

Every day I'm learning so much more about my mind, my thinking, and why i have borderline.

[@davidlodge681]

The statement that trauma is the overwhelming of coping mechanisms. I’ve been a first responder for many years and I’ve seen and been involved in a lot of potentially traumatic events. Not all have been traumatic, those that have I’ve realised were those that somehow got through my defences and damaged my ability to cope with that event. Being fatigued, closely related to the individual I was faced with etc have meant my usual defence mechanisms didn’t work, kick in, etc. in my case I wasn’t able to depersonalise the situation at the time and the physiological and psychological reactions were able to lay down the effects to which I then have had to deal with thereafter. What wonderful, clear and insightful thoughts on this massive topic.

[@tom-n2w7i]

this is pretty good stuff. I feel traumatized after 3 months of divorce. My brain just cannot stop thinking about my wife to be ex. I have to stop myself and yell "stop thinking about her". I have no family and went through this alone with my home gym, some books, a ukulele, and a journal, work from home alone. It's a really fucked up feeling going on in my gut. I can still feel her after 3 months. We used to pick up the phone right as it rang. 21 years married to hell.

[@Pepitasancheez]

I remember 10 years ago I was eating while watching a documentary on Madagascar. I was chilling eating my mashed potatoes and nuggets. The interviewer went to a traditional circumcision ceremony and the scene was egregious. There were babies crying and blood etc, but the worst part was when an old man ate a foreskin because he thought it would bring him luck or something. Needless to say I was scared for life and I couldn't eat mashed potatoes for YEARS. To this day I haven't eaten a single nugget. 😭

[@SharShar2plus3]

I had Multiple trauma in car accident 1993, I was 21. I was so young. I woke up with scars(i still have) on my face, broken bone and induced coma for 5-7 days. It changed me .Of course it did. I remember my sister saying to me , "ya you're not the same after your accident". At the time I didn't know what to say. But now I think well fuck who would be the same ? It still pines me , the scars. I dont like my pic being taken. But overall i am grateful . I am a very empathic person, and have taken careers to be of service for people. I know this ,this accident could have been a lot worse so i feel blessed and changed for the better. So happy i came across this channel. Subscribed ! ;)

[@4ppl3Tr335]

I recognise all these signs and it makes me cry without even thinking back of all I've been through.

[@nicolejordan5223]

I just took 5 weeks of leave from work. I'm 41, love my job, but trauma has been ruling my emotions. I am now doing EMDR therapy and my therapist recommended journaling and reading this book. I pray that I will have enough tools to go back to work. I am doing everything I can to prepare. Journaling is amazing. Thank you to all who have commented, it truly helps to know we aren't alone.

[@Talkinglife]

Trauma is an emotional response to a terrible event like an accident, rape or natural disaster. Immediately after the event, shock and denial are typical. Longer term reactions include unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea

[@elizabethmcleod246]

It’s also a response to being gas lighted by cruel doctors who don’t listen to their patients and leave them severely injured. Doctors are a big cause of trauma. Iatrogenesis is real.

[@Human1136]

@@elizabethmcleod246 not just doctors but sometimes family/friends...

[@elizabethmcleod246]

@@Human1136 Being misdiagnosed and physically disabled is worse than emotional abuse from family. You can move away from toxic family, become resilient and thrive. Health is wealth.

[@vi4670]

@@elizabethmcleod246 I agree with all you said. I have the same experience.

[@LarisaPrince]

The best way I can explain the traumatic response of PTSD (from multiple sexual assaults), and how it feels, is that there is a small jail cell that I am trapped in inside my brain. The key is visible on a table in front of me just out of reach and some days I have the energy to reach for it and put my fingers on it or find another way out. Meanwhile, on most other days the key just disappears into the darkness of the room and I am too fearful to reach my hand out to find it so I stay tucked inside this prison in my mind. It sucks a lot because I trust no one in any capacity and do not think I ever will. I want out though. I am imprisoned for a crime I didn't commit. I wonder how many others can relate to this visualization, and if you can I am so sorry and hope you find peace and heal soon.

[@lisashikuku]

I love the simplicity of how he broke down trauma, this is quite educational for me. Thank you for sharing.

[@jamie-zk1sz]

I found out what trauma and PTSD was last year and finally realised that have it. I can't stop researching the topic because it's so fascinating and it's flipped my life upside down. I watch movies now with more insight with what's going on with the characters. The biggest eye opener is realising there's nothing wrong with me (apart from behavioural problems) it's my body's natural reaction to things that happened to me.

[@TVixi-pr4tn]

I just wanna say Thank You. I have childhood PTSD from abuse I received from my father. I found your book while I was staying at an inpatient facility and it helped so much.