Bill Engvall Comedy: Apparently I Need My Wife For Directions

[@PhilloTBillo]

Whenever I need to laugh, Bill is there.

[@TK-ij2xi]

As a mom I needed to hear this because as I'm teaching my teen to drive I'm literally telling them every turn to make & he's MORE THAN ONCE told me, "yeah, i know."

[@danbytp]

And when you tell him"ok" and let him do it on his own,he makes a wrong turn and ends up almost hitting a cop car ( like me) he will yell at you for not telling him what to do. I'm with ya,maam.At one point I was your son to my mom.

[@TK-ij2xi]

@@danbytp Ironically, he was in an accident about 6 months ago (not a cop, not his fault either) and hasn't driven since. So, we may be starting over to some degree .... He ha saved enough for a car, he just needs to find an affordable one.

[@danbytp]

@@TK-ij2xi Good to know.

[@Maybe-So]

My mom hated it when I ran over bumps in the road. One time she yelled out “Hit every bump in the road, why don’t you!!” - I said “But Mom, It’s hard to go around the Rail Road Tracks!!”

[@gailroberts8608]

Nothing like hitting every hole in the road after surgery.

[@lindacook399]

My dad used to ask me if I was gonna hit every bumb in town. So I said ok and proceeded to hit the rest of the bumps in the road

[@debthill8285]

My husband says that to me all the time

[@cxrgaming923]

😂

[@BeNice4243]

@@gailroberts8608 or braking hard. Rough ride home!

[@dlwatib]

I seem to remember my grandmother stamping her foot against the floorboard as if the passenger side had a brake pedal installed.

[@joannp5806]

dlwatib Omg, my dad use to do that teaching me How to drive and putting his hand against the dashboard!! Poor guy,he finally gave up and paid to have a driving instructor teach me! I tended to drive very fast!

[@jamiestrickland5433]

Flintstones moments after both my Children recieving Learners Permit lol

[@gigisdiamonds]

Oh man, that makes me think of my mom! And wonder when she finally out grew that. But she always reached for the OMG handle up by the window on the roof. (once they came out) And felt the seat belt would cut her head off if we got in a accident. LOL So when we did get into a real accident, I was sure she was just doing a "Sandford and son moment". But nope she had a fractured sternum.

[@DarkKnightofHeaven]

I did that when my grandmother was the one driving.

[@sadflute8639]

My father did that as well

[@teresalatiolais8477]

Absolutely adore him would love to see him in concert again

[@brianmalaquias8227]

He is on his retirement tour.

[@jackson5781]

Seen him here in Galveston TX when they gave him to the key to the city cause he is from here. He's awesome.and the nicest guy

[@abbywebb2822]

Lol I have to tell John when to turn because he has gone right past our house more than once. He has passed the doctors office, the store, and so many other things. He even does it when I am not in the car. He spends a lot of time turning around lol

[@gymguy25]

Apparently, every time there was an obstacle in the street, my grandma would run it over. One day, something was on the street and my grandpa told her to try to run it over. Legend has it, she never hit anything again from that day forward 😀

[@balasmj]

0:43 Cop: What's the problem here? Him: Wife ain't around So I'm going around

WOW.That's some name you have there.😂

[@balasmj]

@ Yeah, couldn't get an A in school But got in all in my name 😄

@@balasmj I'm still watching his show.He's sooo funny and so are you.

[@soylentteal]

My wife likes to dramatically put her hands against the dashboard to brace for the impact that never happens.

[@70sstreetracergal61]

Seventh Mist My gramma used to do that Then i took her for a RIDE in my brand spanking new Formula Firebird 400 😁👍🏻😁 On Seven Hills Road. 😂 After that? She never said or did, anything again. Told her. Gave you a reason to that time didnt I? LMAO

[@seanlauer7483]

Wives are ALWAYS NAGGING about their Husband's driving

[@paradiswest4395]

My wife does it too. PISSES ME OFF.

[@jonfromstearns]

Ditto.

[@rubychurch3466]

My partner lets out this great big oooomph every time I exit a driveway or go over a bump.

[@sarahmultin4163]

This is funny 😂😂and it’s so truth too!!

[@tanyamckinnon5376]

My mother white knuckled the dashboard whenever my dad drove

[@patriciajrs46]

Been there, done that. My husband used to drive one handed. I hate that. It doesn't seem enough control.

[@jamespfitz]

My sister pulled that drama on me. The fake brake, the fake heart attack, the fake stifled scream... Told her when that side of the car grows a wheel she can comment, until then she can shut up or walk. She kept at it. I made her ride in the back and turned up the radio. She doesn't ride with me anymore. Thank God.

[@NehnBellanaris]

If I ever have a chance to do this to my younger sister, I would so take it.

[@smc1942]

Your wife sounds like my mom... ...and my aunt's.... ...and my last four girlfriends..... ....every woman I've ever known, now that I think about it!!!

[@SRP3572]

You certainly have a type

[@anitajinfla9762]

You are HILARIOUS! Met you in the 80s here in Jacksonville, FL when you FIRST started out and I believe Gail was preggo with your daughter. Christmas party at Beltone Hearing aids... You performed your comedy act before dinner.... It was awesome and you sat across from me at the dinner table at a restaurant in Riverside.... Awesome Christmas present from our bosses!!!! Best.Night.Ever!! THANKS!!!😊😊😊😂😂🙋

[@fugglesticktheugly4322]

Poor thing!!! Don't you know Florida is the trailer park of the United States!!!

[@markbourque213]

Love this stuff! Thanks for the giggles.

[@kenhudnall1]

You have apparently been riding with us.

[@kdm222]

Did he know my wife or something. LOL

[@robinalberti8829]

Thank God you were here! Hell Ida been lost in a feild somewhere...😂

[@unexpectedvixen5685]

Nope,my fiancee is the navigator. I'd get Lost in a wet paper bag and can admit it! Lol

[@chrisclark5204]

My oldest brother told that when he drove my grandmother once that she read every road sign out loud. Said it was so annoying.

[@henriettajones726]

I LOVE YOU BILL. YOUR HILARIOUS!!

[@debbierichardson5933]

Such fun. Love him.

[@carlaaustin6054]

I can relate to that. I am a passenger driver. I have gotten better over the years but I was bad in my earlier years.

[@ictpilot]

Such pearls of truth and wisdom! 😂

[@louisdesienaministries6828]

Now we know how crop circles are made. No wife in vehicle.

[@pixilegault3110]

😂❤😂Bill, you have put me to cry laughing, with every show you have done... I am 72 and hope that I am laughing when I pass on to one of your skits...❤❤❤❤

[@billyrisner2996]

this guy is funny as hell i always watched his show and laughed until i peed myself!!!!!!!

[@kimberlyhuff19]

TMI bro

[@dambreaker]

"How can I repay thee, Princess?"

[@13thBear]

"Princess?" You DO mean, "My Queen," don't you? "Princess" implies immaturity and WILL get you slapped! :D

[@mamaslist5682]

I shall not be princess or queen, parliament has all the real power 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@MGower4465]

Finally met Miss Right. And Left. And Stop. And Go.

[@brandoninglin7566]

0:22-0:50 0:57 1:00-1:03 1:13-1:20 1:22-1:23 1:30 1:40-1:44 is my favorite part of the video

[@davidhall8874]

This is why I let my wife drive when we are together. She cannot read in the car, so, with nothing else to do, she "helps" me drive. I let her drive, get a book, put on my nose cancelling headphones and go to another place.

[@DrWho2008t101]

Funny Stuff! thumbs up!Thanks for the video and keep up the good work!

[@matthewnachel7112]

Hey there Bill who needs Google maps when you got your wife 😂

[@StressJudoCoaching]

Wife: Turn right Me: Where? Wife: Back there. You just passed it Me: Maybe ... tell me next time? Wife: I just did

[@robinalberti8829]

I'm gonna give you a warning this time...don't be driving without your wife anymore. 😂

[@jusnuts1443]

My wife is THE BEST navigator. Before cell phones and smart phones, she could read maps! Old school, bro!! I put her up against any green LT. in the US Army, and she'd smoke that ass!! That's why I left the Army after 3 years and I've been her hubby for over 26 years! "Nuff Said!

[@billbeliakoff5589]

I've found old school maps to be better than Google maps and other gps apps countless times.

[@jusnuts1443]

@DR Dan That's what they make compasses for. Old school GPS. I thank the cub scouts and the US Army.

[@davidwallace8388]

anytime we are riding together....my wife does all the driving...I JUST HOLD THE WHEEL

[@robertdawson9114]

I’ve heard someone referred to their wife as “little miss know it all”.👍😁😎

[@davejohnson3037]

I feel your pain brother!!!

[@sherrikinney6633]

I just love this guy. Sure will miss his routines!

[@Jeng4280]

I love Bill. 😂😂🤣🤣 He’s hilarious. He’s got some funny stories!

[@rondarager2334]

My mom used to use her purse like an air bag. Big enough to stop ANYTHING from touching her and never mind the seatbelt. To this day, if I have to make a hard stop, I put my hand out over the passenger seat for her. 😢 Miss her so much.

[@robertevans9294]

perfect

[@justobserving170]

My wife is too terrified when I drive. She is pumping breaks that aren't there and holding on for dear life.

[@psychoreble8313]

I got the vhs tape for this. Love Bill

[@karenstanley964]

Bill, you know Mama is always right

[@dhansel4835]

That's great ! When we came back from the grocery store and I stop at the red light like I have done dozens and dozens of times. I would be looking around to see who else has stopped. All of a sudden my wife says: "The light is Green!". About the time I put my foot on the accelerator a dump truck decides to run the stop light ! Here is Houston we have a saying: Green: Go Yellow: Hurry up Red: Room for 3 more Its the city of the quick or your dead. They have the traffic lights timed so about 3 seconds all lights are still red knowing that 2-3 cars will run it.

[@ronaldrobertson2332]

God, that's good!😆

[@kibathemechanic4967]

This person speaks the truth.

[@SorosPhuvix]

Total opposite, my boyfriend constantly needs reassurance wherever we're going and takes shit directions. Even if it's somewhere he's been 100 times taking the same diddly darn route.

[@ezenwaperfect]

he just wanna make you feel good. believe me. i do it too to my girlfriend cuz i noticed she likes to give me directions whenever am driving with her, so i always tell her to navigate me.

[@ChrisBrown-kh9wz]

I haven't been lost. driven the wrong way down a one-way street or on the sidewalk leading up to the administration building of the University of Arkansas late at night because " ooh-ooh! Turn onto this nice big street right now!" since I was divorced five years ago.

[@aknuk2]

Omg. I wish I had good direction. 🤣

[@megamcg4412]

I am so glad I am not the only man that deals with this.

[@szqsk8]

Matthew C G Be grateful you do. I'd give anything to have my late husband back driving in the car with me. Life is too damn short. 😕

[@danbytp]

My wife reacts the very same way to my braking.No kidding!

[@TheAmtwhite]

Good, but too short.

[@karenbarker7092]

Great jokes!

[@robinalberti8829]

Haha!! Every time we drive somewhere she knows exactly where we're going...😂

[@debirhinebeck8828]

He is So Funny!!!

[@jenniferdelay9669]

Thank you works

[@stefanformgren4978]

my wife usualy shout "break you going fast, watch the car" and me that have soft/controll break for a couple of seconds before usualy say "how cant you feel Im already breaking" :)

[@dddutuber1]

Your grandad’s advice to you upon getting married to “Pick Your Battles” came back to me this morning. Suffice it to say, after a married discussion this morning, that I can now clearly see my tombstone’s epitaph: “And then I said…”.

[@jim654]

You've been riding with my wife 😜

[@redvince5627]

Bill I feel your pain. My ex was exactly like your wife whenever I drove X(

[@MrMark85044]

My ex told me i only have 2 faults. everything i do and everything i say

[@13thBear]

Hence the reason my wife drives us wherever we go. It's a WHOLE lot easier on me that way.

[@maxheadroom8097]

Been there

[@Wellness_flow]

Lol

[@juliem-r9734]

I use that invisible passenger break pedal

[@duellarothamel4102]

I get the samething from my hubby. Sometimes I need the direction.

[@leonorcancelceron1231]

Hahaha

[@SRP3572]

At least you figured out what you need her for. I figured out I need my wife to tell me how to do the laundry and load a dishwasher

[@briandrake390]

I once told my wife where to go, next thing I know, I'm in a cow field.

[@u4riahsc]

Before seatbelts were in cars, my mom, in the front passenger seat, would hold her left arm over the back of her seat to block us if she thought my dad was driving too fast.

[@steveavant9727]

My wife and I had been running errands and she’d been constantly giving me driving instructions. We came out of the store and got in the car, and I put the key in the switch and just sat there. She finally asked what I was doing and I said “awaiting further instructions.”

[@randyedmisten1374]

Happens everything we go somewhere

[@GeminieCricket]

Jeeze this is my husband and I to a T

[@Rockhound6165]

Funny thing. I've been driving for nearly 40 years(will be 40 years this coming June) and I've been in exactly zero crashes. Now, my first week driving I backed into someone but that doesn't count so 40 years, zero crashes, maybe 5 traffic tickets. Wife and I have been together 25 years. And when we drive together she still insists on panicking when we approach a stop sign/traffic light and I'm not going 1 mile an hour. Then she'll get mad when I don't blow through a red light.

[@nicidevine6670]

I do the same thing too lol 😂

[@saragrant9749]

This is my mom to a T!! I’ve pointed out to her that I’ve taken certain routes thousands of times but she still thinks I have no clue.

[@josephauld6565]

I thought I was the only guy that had that problem....

[@nowankersallowed2115]

Hardly surprising.. men aren't well known for asking directions whether travelling or building something with instructions

[@donellgribble1589]

The word of the book elephants

[@jamesshirrell3677]

Noticed it today

[@tonkatrucker]

Fun stuff... been married for 24 yrs.. been driving for over 30 years.. out to the driveway we go, on our way for dinner, and she says.. " You need to put the key in the lock, to open your door". So rather than give a snide remark, i went up to my door and put the key... " Now what?"....so I turned the key.... " What's next?".... funny thing... we never did get in that car that nite.

[@NealStandley]

I wish y'all would go back out on tour again, #BLUE COLLAR COMEDY TOUR

[@jamesshirrell3677]

When im driving my wife grabs my dash

[@jenniferdelay9669]

Why do older people not qualify for meals on wheels because they live on a dirt road 😇

[@margiejcupcakeprincess4711]

I have a backseat drivers license

[@greendeane1]

My mother didn't grab the dashboard...she stomped on the brake.

[@doubled9885]

He has never road with my mother! Back in the there was words called sniglets. A "phistel" was the imaginary brake. My foot went thru the floor trying to find it!

[@Ps4fan30]

Bill engvall Larry the cable guy...Jeff foxworthy and Ron white are the best

[@jimgilbert9984]

I don't have a wife, but I don't need one. Women are always willing to give me directions. Oddly, though, they all give me the same directions: "Go to hell!" 😉 🤣

[@chippyl3331]

My roommate was like that! She almost caused me to wreck bc she would gasp or grab the dash. . . And the other vehicle she was gasping about was a quarter to half block away! I am a good, defensive driver too- always watching out for the other guy. She had been in multiple fender benders!

[@queenofdarknesssc9591]

My grandparents have been married 50+ years. They still drive like this.

[@jenniferdelay9669]

See

[@jenniferdelay9669]

Everytime u say i gotta get paid is every dollar is another year in Hell

[@jenniferdelay9669]

The dam dog in heat again

[@kiffaj9982]

Mate,for years my wife was always yelling,stop tailgating...then she got her eyes fixed,phew. Queenslander.

[@jonfromstearns]

Sounds exactly like my wife.

[@Netherwolf6100]

Had a woman in my car do this to me. I just pulled over, got out the car and asked her to drive instead. Never spoke ever again.

[@rugershooter5268]

Once I smashed up against the windshield when wife stopped at a green light

[@randyedmisten1374]

Wife does the same thing

[@lighthouse5891]

My ex told me the directions to MY parents home while I was driving.

[@tperk]

It's 100x worse when she has GPS software on her phone, and she wants you to follow its directions. Between her voice and the GPS voice you just want to drive yourself into a ditch

[@jenniferv618]

My husband drives big rigs for a living & does street sweeping for different cities locally. Idk how he drives at work but, when he drives our truck with me in it, it takes every ounce of me to shut up. He drives slow to me then at the _same time_ he will have to slam on the breaks before he hits someone from behind while they are turning! Then act like it's the other person's fault 🤦‍♀️