Breakups: Dumped via 'Ghosting?'

Jim writes, “Why is "ghosting" someone almost a socially acceptable means of breaking up? Although I would still be very sad about being dumped after 8 months of dating when I was clearly happy with her, I could deal much better with being told straight up rather than a complete disappearance and finding out on social media that she had met someone else. What happened to integrity?”
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[@MikeMethot256]

Ghosting/ignoring is the most immature and egotistical way of dealing with an adult relationship, it can tear someone apart mentally and lead to major depression it happened to me a few months ago and I'm still affected.

[@attacktitan6868]

So true,it's very tough one to take in, to accept and to Move on..:(

[@destinixshakur]

You gotta pray for those people fr . I have learned I’m just not everyone cup of tea . Sorry to those people who can’t see my worth .

[@neketiabuckley5785]

I’m going through this right now we were supposed to see each an I never heard from him again it’s been a week now, it’s hurtful I’m just trying to move forward. I hope that goes away for you💚

[@vincentguzman1992]

@@neketiabuckley5785 any update? Ever work out ?

[@shreenjandutta]

Same same

[@VeronicaSofiaNitu]

"People don't need to destroy a human being just when they're done with them. There's no excuse for that." - this is so powerful.

[@MdAbbas-nt3jy]

Hy good morning

[@VeronicaSofiaNitu]

@@crimestoppers1877 I think it applies to all people, male and female

[@Tailionis]

I'm so sad. I will never find another. 2 years and ghosted. I'm dead

[@elishab7367]

Chi Fox 😔

[@attacktitan6868]

So true, Veronica Nitu!

[@DayaTom]

I just got ghosted after 4 months of daily contact, and what I thought was an amazing connection with a safe and healthy person.. it's...it's just plain cruel. The lowest form of cowardice. It's just .. beyond words. He just bailed on me, on us, on our plans we had for spending time together, after the holidays, on everything, without a word. Just leaving a person to figure it out day after day and having to guess ... it's evil. Narcissists do it, borderlines do it, and now it's become more and more prevalent.. humanity has gone wrong all the way.

[@elleeme9451]

I bet you had a narcissist on your hands and didn't realise it.

[@babyfish1083]

Yes very common now

[@DayaTom]

@@elleeme9451 I think he was more of a borderline.. but good point.

[@monicastyle9720]

Did he ever reach out ?

[@honeysvw]

I had this done to me too after 4 months of dating.

[@Zarghami]

*Ghosting is THEIR shortcomings and has nothing to do with you...* Don’t let other people’s fear of honesty make you feel less of yourself.

[@RG-hf4et]

Well said.

[@nix536]

Love that comment.. I'm going to write it down and stick on my fridge!!!

[@robertcollins5307]

Well said brother :)

[@Bloop.62]

You are so right

[@JeffreyGillespie]

Very well said.

[@rayhopkins1725]

I dated a girl for 16 months and she ghosted me, talking texting several times a day then 1 day nothing. It rocked me to the core... Its pure EVIL to treat someone like this, I have never been so hurt my life

[@destinixshakur]

It’s definitely pure evil AF . I rebuke them and they demons .

[@deity2376]

:(

[@heikiquintyn2913]

I hope you’re much better now . I’m hurting as well.

[@josie3267]

I'm dealing with the same thing rn. 20 months and having heard from him since Monday. It's Friday. I'm broken.

[@shreenjandutta]

I'm so sorry Ray I'm so sorry You don't deserve this my brother.

[@hendrikkramer3010]

Its hard but when someone ghosts you, you know that he/she is not a good partner for you and probably for nobody.

[@attacktitan6868]

I second that!

[@105C09]

Ghosting tops my list as the most cruel and disrespectful way to end a relationship. I'm moving on, thank God for the love once experienced and am working through the anguish.

[@yichispiritual]

They don’t respect themselves

[@diouranke]

I wish there was a way to create a ghosting directory online so you can know who these emotionally bankrupt /immature people r beforehand

[@josie3267]

Seriously. It's just as bad as cheaters.

[@maureenmaureen2217]

I was ghosted...it’s the worst feeling ever...

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Maureen Maureen,you deserve better

[@cynicalidealist11]

Same

[@RG-hf4et]

When I think of ghosting, I generally think of it happening very early on like after a few dates. ..... But some of your stories here were just heartbreaking .....After 9 years, 5 years, 2 + years???.......My God, I can only imagine how painful it must have been to experience such really f-ed up, sh*tty treatment. My heart goes out to all of you here who have experienced this. ♡

[@junelawson5100]

R G 18 years and it hurts

[@RG-hf4et]

@@junelawson5100 Very sorry to hear you went through this... Hugs to you.

[@junelawson5100]

R G awe, bless you and thank you so much. How kind.

[@Bubagigant]

I know someone who got completely ghosted after more than 30 years of happy marriage, it broke her completely, took her years to put her self back together, she has been single ever since.....

[@RG-hf4et]

@@Bubagigant Ugh, omgoodness, how horrible....... no one deserves that. I hope she is ok.

[@kelseyelizabeth1093]

I've been ghosted by my bf of two years...no explanation, nothing. It feels like a sudden death right now but I know that I will be okay one day :(

[@heikiquintyn2913]

Are u better ?

[@raddad2434]

Our exes rejection is Gods protection!! Consider our being ghosted and disgarded a blessing in desguise!! Be kind to yourselves.. It wasn't your fault 🙏🙏🙏❤

[@DONT4GET_SUNSCREEN]

Worst feeling ever! Just tell someone you're not interested.

[@ElliotHaganOfficial]

Initttt

[@pablovarela5422]

EXACTLY!!!!!

[@richardlions3073]

4 YEARS together then completely ghosted for 6 months. She was in a rebound. I used the time to find an understanding about her character. The weakness she showed me actually created an unconditional love for her and I realized that she needed to heal herself and change her perception of what true love is and evolve more empathy in order to become a better version of herself. Nevertheless, it hurt me a great deal but I kept my integrity on the top spot and never used a harming word to her. She's the one that has to live with the hurt from hurting me. I'm on my way, free as an eagle!

[@janjoy9759]

How are you doing now after a year of being ghosted by your ex. How did you recover??? I'm in same situation now. And in so hurt confused and sad.

[@freesxsoccer]

Damn what an amazing perspective I will try and adopt that

[@rileybudd531]

I just got ghosted in the middle of a 5 month relationship, I could see the signs that the relationship wasn't perfect and I tried to reach out and ask to talk to her about those things when she ghosted me. There is nothing wrong with ending the relationship and I can respect that everyone has their own reasons for needing to move on. However, the action of ghosting felt horrendous, and left me with so many unanswered questions and without closure. She never told me that she was thinking about breaking up, and never even said as much as goodbye.

[@averysavage3301]

That is so awful of her to do that, quite disgusting may I add. I’m so sorry you had to go through that experience. Also, sorry if me replying is weird since we don’t know each other LOL! I recently got ghosted too and it’s just makes you feel icky. I know my worth and won’t settle for some silly boy. It makes you lose hope finding someone when you’re constantly let down. & you shouldn’t settle for someone who doesn’t have the integrity, intellect, & compassion to give you the explanation you deserve. Anyways, merry xmasss and I hope things look up for you as 2022 approaches!

[@PipeOPhile]

I know this is easier said than done but: please don't waste time on people like this. Don't wait for them to get their head out of their ass. It will never happen. Don't try to fix what you didn't break. Trying to make a coward own up their choices or a liar own up their lies, an emotionally abusive person own up their actions that hurt you - is a waste of time. The first woman I ever opened up to did exactly what Jim wrote in about, a year later I'm still very sore but on a mend and I wish I didn't prolong it by indulging in the fantasy of making her realize just what she's done and somehow undoing it.

[@NarnianLady]

Often the blame gets shifted to those of us who were ghosted, in the well meaning questions as 'What is wrng with you for being drawn to people like that?' aka classic victim-blaming..

[@PipeOPhile]

@@NarnianLady Yes, or you get painted as "mean" or "clingy" if you're unhappy with how things ended and want to fix them or at least have a decent closure. Walking away is the best course of action, sadly.

[@cynthiaf503]

Leuff damn right! Not into fixing someone I didn’t break!

[@blakcanis]

Had this happen to me after 3.5 years and living together and engaged, just up and left while I was at work and cleaned out my finances among other things. She showed up 9 states away 4 days later posting pics of her and her new love. She taught me what a narcissist/psychopath is, 21months of healing the emotional damage. If I we're Jim I wouldn't take her back if she tries to come back, it's a narcissistic trait imo breaking up by ghosting like that, especially if they all of a sudden show up dating or in love with someone else shortly after the ghosting and discard. Normal people don't do that. Good video😊

[@ParadoxxFoxx]

Duane Outdoors 😯🥺💐

[@mrs.camillewarrenempress3115]

@Bushra S it's child that's acts like a kindergarten age..

[@emanaturalsaus]

So sorry Duane. Yes he did it to me too...I was GHOSTED out of the Blue....it happened to me after 18 months...& the guy didn't owe it to me....🤡. HE CLOWNED OUT. I dated a CLOWN...yes, only just worse than a GHOST!

[@blakcanis]

@@emanaturalsaus sorry to hear that. These types are inner species predators is all they are. I've learned a lot about myself tho in the past 21 months. The sad part is people vest so much time into the relationship only to find they weren't really in it to begin with. It gets better tho😊

[@jackwebb5917]

Duane Outdoors Wow brother. In some ways our stories are so similar. Look at my post from today

[@ameerahrashada4515]

I was ghosted after a year not for another woman but because he had a lot of problems and could't deal he was a coward but I forgave him but don't want him back because if he ghost me once he will do it again

[@lizzyflip7578]

Same here

[@pinklover1569]

Hi Ameerah, I was ghosted after 4 months. What frustrates me , he didn't care to explain things after blabbering to people at work about our very little something.I thought it was because he was too busy with study and work..he looked like he needed some space, so I thought maybe I wait until I think it's over, I kind of give up waiting, I mean It's been too long after months of silence. He is getting married very soon and some people are still clueless, and thought he is marrying me.I am tired of denying things. Only a few days before his wedding that people know about it.we didn't even know he got engaged. I wished he was that patient before telling others about us. He is sooo weird. I don't want him nor hate him, I just feel akward at work , and he is the reason for that, are happily married soon.

[@ameerahrashada4515]

@@pinklover1569 hurt people hurt people if he hasn't seeked any help for himself then he will hurt her and others Live Your Best Life with your head held high

[@babyfish1083]

I promise u he will ghost u again if u forgive him. I have been ghosted for more than 10 times over the last 7-8 years.

[@pinklover1569]

@@babyfish1083 by the same person?

[@rosamariaspage8204]

Such a cowardly thing to do....unfortunately it is common nowadays.

[@miriamrodriguez422]

Its been three weeks since Ive been Houdini’d, and we were together for nine months, Ive been devastated and trying to pick up the pieces of my heart. No explanations, no contact, no means to Comtact this person, I would never do this to anyone, never. I am just taking it one day at a time, and always moving forward thats all I can do.

[@emanaturalsaus]

Wow sorry to hear...GHOSTED....it happened to me after 18 months...& the guy didn't owe it....🤡. HE CLOWNED OUT. I dated a CLOWN...yes, only way worse than a GHOST! Clowns FAKE IT ALL. It's been months of hurt.😥

[@turnthepage867]

Been there! You're not alone. My relationship was 1.5 years.

[@toddsunshine1675]

Same exact story. This shit!! At age 43! U know exactly what you doing! Real devil shit. Im STILL lost. I feel like I'm broken. It's like she took my self worth. kold lady.

[@diouranke]

@@toddsunshine1675 I'm sorry, it's very traumatic,and it just makes you feel disposable. just having no explanation, these people probably will likely not find love or happiness with anyone until they mature emotionally.they r not in a place to have a relationship So it's a karmic cycle they create for themselves.

[@Laughwithmeoratme]

I've been Ghosted before and I'm so glad someone else brought it up

[@MdAbbas-nt3jy]

Hy good morning can I help you {♥♥♥}

[@robertcollins5307]

@@MdAbbas-nt3jy soo thirsty brother, to chat up random girls online ! Omg get out in the real world

[@MySweetAriane]

@@robertcollins5307 lol

[@vickicsurbs444]

Seems people have become throw away anything and everything then run out and replace it to fill their pain and emotional voids. 8 months is awhile but thank God it wasn't 2-25 years wasted on someone so childish & a coward. People that ghost theres ABSOLUTELY NOTHING no excuse in the world they could even say to me that I would even validate those type of people's existence. I've been ghosted many many times I thank God I didn't waste anymore time on them. Yeah it's a little bone rattling at first but try and find the blessing in them vanishing. YOUR TIME IS SO VALUABLE. DONT WASTE IT ON WHAT COULD HAVE BEENS & PEOPLE WHO CANT RESPECT THEMSELVES LET ALONE OTHERS! You got this Jim👍

[@sinikkartistry]

If I don't feel the chemistry, I rather let them know that it's not working and wishing them all the best than ghosting them. I believe in dating karma.

[@heikiquintyn2913]

What’s dating karma?

[@brandon9638]

@@heikiquintyn2913 In this context, the person who ghosted you is ghosted or dumped by the person they left you for.

[@pablovarela5422]

Great point!!

[@silvermont331]

Yeah my 2 years relationship ghosted on me ! Then came back apparently showing great intentions - then he disappeared again - finale 3 weeks later I called him , asked for an answer and he says oh I’m sorry I wanted to call you to let you know I’m seeing someone else ! But I didn’t have the strength /courage to tell you in person . Can we still be friends? Was blown away 😆 I told him no thank you 😊 you don’t serve me as a friend - good bye end of it . 2 months later he reached out invitation for a tea or coffee ? I said thanks for the invitation but I’m so busy now. No time for you - off I went my way . Yes it still hurts but people who do that are cowards mother duckers ! Don’t deserve never another chance .. bye bye Charlie karma is around the corner waiting for Ya !

[@emanaturalsaus]

Clowns...GHOSTED....it happened to me after 18 months...& the guy didn't owe it to me either....🤡. HE CLOWNED OUT... I dated a CLOWN...yes, only just worse than a GHOST! So sorry to hear about your story it is so hurtful especially when you LOVED HIM so much.🙄

[@sarahbeth7440]

It happened to me after 2 yrs too except its been 6 mos and he hasn't reached out. I found out about another woman on snapchat only days after he had given me thr colld shoulder and said he didn't want to be with me anymore, that he had been unhappy for a while. I had tried talking to him several times and he always said i was just being silly. Im 37 and he is 38. I miss him so much ...worst pain imaginable going through this

[@rogercastro4365]

Charlie Karma LOL

[@Tailionis]

Happening to me now. 2 years but it's from the girl. She's a tomboy so I shouldn't be surprised.. her ego has continually made her choose bad decisions. I almost pity her if she hadn't killed me on the inside

[@abm672]

@@sarahbeth7440 I hope you're better now Sarah. I was in exactly the same situation 😢

[@mike42441]

Jim, the same exact thing happened to me, only after several years. In my case, it was revealed to me slowly over time that she was a pathological liar and couldn't be trusted on any level. None of her closest friends or family trusted her either, not even her own Dad. Guys like us who have experienced ghosting know how deeply offensive and hurtful it is on the receiving end. In my case, I found out ultimately that she was not interested in me, she was just interested in what I could do for her. There is something known as Karma that catches up with these people who ghost you. Unfortunately for them there's no escaping Karma - it's just the way the universe works.

[@ronaldwhite4671]

No escaping, or the wall

[@mlantieri]

Don’t let anyone disrespect you.....PERIOD. Also, after they do, don’t extend an olive branch to a dead tree!!

[@tomgurenlian8580]

Made that mistake. I did the olive branch trying to mend the tree so to speak.

[@RG-hf4et]

When we call them out on their bad behavior, it will make us feel better on some level but the person who ghosted you knows exactly what they did and mentally is 20k miles away already. And they will hear the message, but it won't have any impact, not even a dent. If you need to say something, imho, just say it, short and to the point knowing they won't respond. They never do.

[@90blacknight]

Disagree. Nobody likes being put in their place. When I call people out they definitely feel the impact! I make sure of it.

[@RG-hf4et]

@@90blacknight GHOSTERS DON'T CARE. They maybe even dating someone new. Then it just looks like you are ranting and they turn around and tell everyone "She's crazy! Thank God, I dodged a bullet !!"

[@90blacknight]

@@RG-hf4et I say it to their face if and when I run into them again, not over text. One woman broke down in tears. I can assure you they care.

[@adjoaosei87]

R G very true

[@RG-hf4et]

@@90blacknight They may be embarressed you called them out for ghosting but they don't care about YOU. They are probably very uncomfortable with confrontation & that's why you got ghosted to begin with. They truly don't care about you, your relationship. They care about looking bad, feeling uncomfortable, being put on the spot, etc.....They will do it again.

[@mrothello7403]

If the people who break you mentally & psychologically knew the damage they cause, I bet they would never do it, for them I have simple advice, be prepared lord almighty deliver to you what you had delivered to someone innocent! And wen it becomes unbearable feel the pain of that person u inflicted pain on.

[@monicastyle9720]

Amen

[@MichaelSalinas100]

I was ghosted after 9 years. After 4 months with no contact I finally communicated with her. She gave me some lame excuses about her health. She denied she was involved with another man. Later I found out she was in a relationship with another man from her past. Also found out from mutual friend she had an affair with a second man. She told me she loved me all along and asked me to not give up on her. Well she betrayed and deceived me. She did not have the character, integrity, and personal power to level with me. She is a coward and a very weak individual. It’s a matter of time her new/old beau will find out what type of person she is.

[@MichaelSalinas100]

Muzzy337 same here Muzzy. I did confront her and her beau. She denied there was an overlap between the transition from me to him. She lied to him also. He didn’t believe me about the last time she slept with me. So I would bet money she will betray him sooner or later. It’s his problem now. I warned him.

[@MichaelSalinas100]

Muzzy337 thank you sir. It will be a year on 29 April 2019 when she pulled out of my driveway. Told me she loved me and to call her as she drove away. I never saw her again until August. I fight the bitterness every day but always find the good things in my life to be grateful for. I wonder how I will react to her when I see her again. We live in the same area of town and frequent the same stores. It’s a wonder we have not run into each other again. I feel she does her shopping elsewhere so she does not have to face me again. Like I said she is a coward. Thanks for reading, replying and your well wishes. It still hurts but not as intense as it once did. Have a good day and wishing you the love of your life. I was told something better will come.

[@MichaelSalinas100]

Muzzy337 Agree.

[@mrs.camillewarrenempress3115]

@@MichaelSalinas100 I glad that you saw her true colors though..

[@MichaelSalinas100]

Camille CE true. it could have been worse had I actually married her. I guess God was protecting me.

[@Last_one_before_I_go]

Integrity? That is so 1950's....It went the same way as "I will honor and cherish you.... in sickness or in heath, Richer or Poorer...till death do us part". Marriages and relationships don't really last these days. It's so easy to shift gears. She dumped you because she's ashamed to admit she was a great actress - she went behind your back for a number of months. But take solace - she did you a favor, she showed you her true character on the way out - it doesn't feel that way, but you dodged a bullet with this one...

[@ItsNYMPHADORA]

So true I experienced the same thing...

[@michaelpitt57]

Whats worse is when you have actually met the person. They tell you they love you,your a keeper they wont treat you like your ex did etc etc

[@Cheree_Wright]

I was ghosted during the holidays by a man I dated for over a year. We got in an argument and he disappeared. I didn't hear from him for 2 months and he did not really address what he did when we spoke . It was the most horrible and devastating breakup I have ever experienced.... I'm still recovering. I never told him off or expressed how badly he hurt me, because he obviously didn't care enough anyway. It seemed pointless to try to make him fess up to what he did. And I didn't want to give his ego the satisfaction. I've just committed to staying in no contact- radio silence speaks louder than words and it is helping me move on. I did not respond to the last text he sent me and it feels good. I have had to fight the urge to send an angry text.... but I pray for the strength to stay in no contact . I hope i meet my soulmate soon

[@VeronicaSofiaNitu]

You're so strong, Cheree, and you'll find the right person for you :)

[@shabchique7149]

I’m in the same situation and the fight is almost 2 months now. He hasn’t reached out but I pray I have the strength to not respond, like you have done, and I want to stop obsessing! I’m sorry for what happened to you and thanks for sharing.

[@RG-hf4et]

JUST BLOCK THEIR PHONE NUMBERS FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH......BE IN CONTROL ......IT IS A POWERFUL STEP!!

[@ram201pa]

Do what RG recommends. Also, unfriend them on Facebook... don't just block... unfriend them.. You take control. Maintain radio silence. Don't reach out. You will get through this.

[@juliejuju7419]

You're doing the right thing : Remain SILENT. It works for sure. Eventually he will come back --they always do.

[@albertbaza2767]

For everyone out there that have been on the receiving end of someone that treated you like this, your only recourse is to leave that person, and move on. know your Love language, and what you need in a relationship. This will make it easier for you to proceed with the relationship or get out of it.

[@dolphinrose21]

my ex did this to me after a year and we were best friends, so it was harder on me, the red flag was he did it to his ex-wife after a 3 year marriage!! he needs to grow up , its unacceptable at age 36!!

[@sisteray3539]

The same thing happened to me. boyfriend of 2 years went back to his home country to sort out 'personal effects' and everything seemed fine between us. 3 weeks later he ghosted and blocked me on everything and I saw on social media he was all over some other woman's profile. What hurt the most is that we had both agreed we would never do that to each other and he would bang on about how communicating was so important to him. He called me a few weeks after and said he would be ready to come back soon. Another 3 weeks later and no sign of him. I don't expect him to come back and I don't want him either. We are both in our 30's and I feel like this is a ridiculous situation to find myself in at that age. You are absolutely right about people like this having no integrity. If you can treat someone this way, you are trash!

[@JasonKale]

My wife went to her home country of Serbia over the summer for 1.5 months and a week after she returned she vanished going on 7 months now...For me Ive come to the conclusion they just always wanted the green card..Its totally sickening and ridiculous vanishing on someone they knew for 9 years lived with for 8 yrs and was married to for 5 years..I cant even think of what they are...Im sorry for you...

[@sisteray3539]

@@JasonKale im sorry to hear that dude. it really sucks. maybe he did wanna just get citizenship.....ill never know and i dont care anymore. there's no chance of him being allowed back to the uk now anyway lol good riddance! 😂

[@ShowMeWhatINeedToKnow]

She probably cheated on him and was too ashamed and embarrassed to communicate with him.

[@crisj7704]

Show Me What I Need To Know he dodged a bullet. She was skank 😂

[@AxelSituation]

It's probably a woman signing as a man "Jim".

[@ladennayoung2939]

But like she said. She could have sent an email or text. Saying that I'm embarrassed to be doing this, but so on and so forth. Especially if you can go from ghosting that person to revealing a new relationship on social media. And that is the way your ex found out they were dumped, and that you have moved on. That is very unhealthy.

[@attacktitan6868]

She might be a d*ck of a person:(

[@destinixshakur]

That’s the one

[@KimGalolo]

My boyfriend for 3 years ghosted me.. Haven't heard even a single word from him.. 😔

[@xamarabinet8231]

I got ghosted by my partner of almost 3 years. This hurts...

[@angie1002]

Cowards unfortunately don't have integrity. Ghosting is only the cop out of a loser coward!! Completely unacceptable behavior especially coming from a supposed adult.

[@MdAbbas-nt3jy]

Hy

[@joelhernandez41]

Well said! It's the opposite of normal to simply be done with someone and start something new with someone else. That's the type of person that will eventually try to come back... Best thing to do is never let them back in.

[@reggiedavenport3911]

OMG...this is how I became acquainted with your videos in the first place...I was "ghosted" last year by a woman. Very long story, but when I was in my angry/confused/sad state I looked for ways to cope and soothe my self, and I saw your videos. I was able to forgive the woman when she apologized a week later. With all of that being said, she is currently engaged to be married to the guy that she was seeing (moved into is house already), and we talk on occasion. Too bad things happened the way they did, as we were talking on a pretty regular basis and I was warming up to the idea of a relationship with her (I was just moving too slowly for her, among other 'factors'). I will say this, the experience of being ghosted definitely thickened my skin...

[@heikiquintyn2913]

If she still talks to you that’s not ghosting

[@lezah0825]

Was ghosted by my ex after 13 years of being together. He was involved with a much younger girl whom I suspect was just an ego-booster to his midlife crisis situation. Cut ties with him 2 months after discovery, and he kept sending text messages of how sorry he was, while still seeing the girl. Being away from him made me see our relationship for what it truly was, and who he really was - the lies, duplicity, the invalidation, and yes cowardice. This ghosting wasn't the first display of cowardice, and this certainly wasn't his first affair. I had forgiven him for the first, thought it was just a lapse in judgment, but now I realize loyalty, honesty and decency are not things he is capable of. I have walked away but the years of emotional abuse have taken a toll on me. Looking forward to healing.

[@SusanWinter]

Thank you for opening up and sharing this with us. I wish you well on your healing journey!

[@lezah0825]

@@SusanWinter Thank you for your well wishes, and thank you for all that you do.

[@tbo2120]

Jim. Hang in there. I was ghosted around 3 months ago to the lady I loved. We had something great. The trimmings and feelings of something that could go all the way and we both really believed this was it! However, the things I realised about ‘making it’ with someone to the end in the best and most fulfilling manor are the very qualities she showed me in an instant when she ghosted. The lack of empathy, compassion, honesty, communication, vulnerability, respect, openness and basic skills in co-relating in this moment was the sum of ZERO. This showed me everything! Jim. Take a deep breath and understand inside one second she has shown you more about who she is and what she has to offer (lack thereof) Yes, nobody is perfect. We all have our bad traits and we must always remember this. But ghosting really does show us something deeper. So much is lacking when a man or woman can’t step up and step out in their discomfort to do the right thing. You don’t need this in our life. Someone that can’t care for you in the very moment that needs compassion, is not worth your time. I’ve struggled and struggled hard. My self esteem, my future, even my own ways of how I relate have been challenged (this one being important by the way - self reflect/fix/enforce) but I decided to take this experience and show what she has not to myself and others by commenting on videos such as this. She can try and destroy in the moments of pain but I will refuse to join her and will try and help build when and where I can. Rise above this. The loss of the trimmings and trappings of love you will need to adjust too - but the loss of the shear nothingness that she has shown must... somehow ... and soon, be seen as a positive and celebrated. I’m thinking and praying for you brother!

[@DayaTom]

Reading your comment made me feel better, as I too am in the same shoes. So thank you! Ghosters are insecure cowards, in arrested development, with a serious lack of empathy and compassion. Hope you've healed by now. For me it's a fresh experience.

[@maryisabel2115]

One of the best comments ,I'm going through this recently, it came at me so unexpectedly,the pain is torture, like the wind gets knocked out of you😔

[@tbo2120]

mary isabel life has changed dramatically for me now... better days are ahead. Process it and move on, with things and people you enjoy being around. This will be a lesson and that only, hoping you’re okay!

[@chrisskipper7014]

Its a blessing to be ghosted if the person is that lame

[@pallavireddy3690]

I was ghosted after 8 years and suffered quite a lot, I blamed myself for everything. Slowly I’m realising it wasn’t me and it was him being immature. Now I’m moving on and I wish him all the luck and happiness.

[@danielsalazar6211]

That happened to me. I was ghosted by a girl that I really liked. I dated her for 2 years. I thought that she was the one but I guess I was wrong. It's heartbreaking 💔

[@Chocobulldog]

am noticing: when women were ghosted, we always ask what happened? why ? why did we do wrong??? when men are ghosted, they say the other person lacks integrity... they were scared...omg! what an eye opener

[@jjuniper274]

I've not done this, but I've had the "Dear John" text. I have also been ghosted, I've been told "let's be friends (with benefits)" and he continues to date me, while unbeknownst to me, he's seeing someone else. I had another guy say he wanted to find "the one" and have a loving monogamous relationship, but I found out that after every date (we had two) he went to his "shag" woman for a romp. Oh honey, I could go on and on, but I'm certain you've heard IT ALL! LOL We MUST maintain our OWN integrity! Respect yourself and YOU will be respected! ❤️

[@tanyariggs2269]

I called a man out for ghosting me after having dated him for 3 months. He said we were '2 peas in a pod - Soul connected', then he just stopped everything. My goodness how gutless and spineless. He never responded to me, I was blindsided, I did not lose my dignity or temper but I do not understand how humans feel it is okay to do this to others. I absolutely appreciate that I have found your site Susan, thank you for your articulate words of wisdom.

[@DayaTom]

He was probably a narcissist. It hurts like a b*tch.. I know your pain.

[@heikiquintyn2913]

Wow same story

[@jamesrobinson3509]

I was ghosted out of the blue after 3 years......BUT WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND.....she can go to hell

[@praytherosaryeveryday7262]

Karma!! My great-grandmother used to say, "What goes over the Devil's back comes under his belly." Everyone reaps what they sow, no matter whether it's dating or any other relationship. One of my childhood friends betrayed me to the point of I call her "my Judas." We tried to repair the friendship 15 years later, which didn't work; but during that time of trying to repair the friendship, she CRIED about how she no longer had any friends. She had a true blue friend, but betrayal due to jealousy meant more to her, but I got to see her suffering everything she deserved to suffer.

[@pablovarela5422]

How beautiful !

[@suziechampagne357]

You are SO right Susan. This is supposed to be an era of communication... we now have many options to communicate with each other and sadly, I see so many people NOT being able to speak to others. I find ghosting so cheap and cowardly. If somebody wants to Opt Out for whatever reason, just say so, by respect for the other person AND yourself.

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Suzie Champagne,your pretty smile can make the news

[@angelahennessy9831]

Just had this happen to me after nearly 18 months. Just wrong and more hurtful then the actual break-up 💔

[@sweetpotatoepieeee]

I love that you truly care about us being hurt in this way. Thank you Susan ❤

[@mausdewaus123]

Same thing happened to me, after 7 months being together.. Weeks prior we discussed our holiday plan, suddenly 3 weeks before the holiday she ghosted me (and blocked me to totaly prevent me to connect with her). 1 week later she unblocked me, so i asked; "still going on holiday with me, right?" Only to get the answer; "I don't want to go on holiday with you, i have a boyfriend.." I really have no words for this...

[@DayaTom]

wow just wow! This "lady" just ... speechless! I'm in your shoes as we did have plans for after the holidays as well and he ghosted me right before new years, after 4 months.. these people are of another species

[@lisaweglinski7999]

These days we ignore each other to get each other's attention. How messed up is that?

[@juliejuju7419]

Great point !

[@lisaweglinski7999]

@@juliejuju7419 So sad that this how people actually behave. I hope we begin to change our thinking... soon..

[@juliejuju7419]

@@lisaweglinski7999 I hope so too, love. Society as a whole is so messes up..

[@rickki6]

hmmmmm never looked it that way Lisa ....great point. It’s kinda like the old days tho...you spoke on the phone all the time and then the guy just stops calling ur house. Then your parents say...hey what happened to so n so, he doesn’t call anymore . lol. I also wonder, just wonder with the flip side ....maybe the guy ghosts out of insecurity, that maybe he will be ghosted first so let me do it. Just a thought after reading ur post. Sometimes you can have a strong connection right off the bat and it can be scary , especially if it’s the guy who doesn’t want a relationship right now In his life . I had that happen to me ...met someone out of the blue literally, he said he always thought I was attractive - we ran in the same circle for 5 years due to work but rarely saw or spoke. When we finally did cross paths for real, we hit it off immediately- sparks. Terrified me and I think him .

[@lisaweglinski7999]

@@rickki6 I am so happy for you! I truly believe, that what is meant for us will NEVER miss us. Today we are a disposable society; dont like your partner? Swipe right and get someone else. Oh, and don't even bother to mention that you've moved on. That would be SO uncomfortable! Just ghost, problem solved. Technology- both a blessing and a curse. Many dont know how to talk like we used to. Everyone is so easily replaced. Sad. Thank goodness for Susan and others who help us navigate thru these crazy times!

[@blankakasza7221]

You can call out people as you want but they will interpret it as nagging and all will happen is a different type of game. All you can do is walk, or if they ghosted you stay gone. People don’t tell that the relationship is not working out as they want to leave the door open in case their preferred choice doesn’t work out aka they keep you as a backup. Both men and women do this all the time. There is a lot less chance to find a good partner while concentrating on just one person. Evolutionary facts. My ghoster came back 4 years no talking, laughed in my face that he moved in with another gal, all under the facade of friendship. Guess might have not worked out, or he is bored and expects the door to be open like nothing happened. Ain’t going to happen buddy. When a woman is done, she is done.

[@90blacknight]

A "Ghoster" likes to leave the door open for future possibilities? You call them out and SHUT THAT DOOR FOREVER!

[@johng.4959]

Great topic... Been through this after dating and living with a girl for over a year. We had a few disagreements which she been used as an excuse to vanish. She ghosted me and use the term... "Healing"... I asked her "from what???"... Never got a response except for how I thought she was not good enough or some other B.S. made-up crap. I've been chasing that for more than a few months and trust me when I say it never gets any better. Letting her being charged and chasing her only made the situation more difficult. Even though you may be dumbfounded and confused and hurt... Consider yourself lucky. No one needs this type of person in their life. And it took me a long time to realize this! Thank you Susan as always. 👍

[@lindseymattson7700]

Thank you for this. You've made me feel a lot better.

[@crisj7704]

I so love you and your work. You articulate so well what’s healthy. Integrity, Character and Power. That’s why you’re here to help us!!

[@SparklyGirl9911]

Poor Jim.. that was heartbreaking to hear. Susan, great point that we do need to rise to the occasion and point out that it was not very kind to handle ending things this way. On another layer, ghosting happens in situationships, friendships, relationships, marriages etc. It’s a huge reflection of the immaturity and narcissistic qualities that the other individual rocks. But boy does it destroy our hearts. 😥 I still feel a huge crevice in my ❤️. Healing from that experience takes a LONG TIME. 😞

[@lizaagonzi5946]

That's exactly how I feel I don't understand how people just ghost and not let you know they are done..Of course it will hurt ..but it is worst to ghost someone..just let the person know the truth and everyone can move on..People need to be more empathetic ..

[@pappico]

I appreciate my ex who actually broke up with me in person and was still polite… My bf now just ghosted me and it's devastating. Why do people do this? I would never ghost someone, I'd have the decency to be honest and break things off, not leave people hanging like this. It's so cruel. 😞

[@thee_ag]

Has he reached out ?

[@pappico]

@@thee_ag He reached out after 1.5 months. We are still together now, he's texting me as I'm replying to your comment... >

[@evizohiyt7822]

When I can't think of anything n like my heart isn't satisfied with any comforting words I come to u Susan....u r very intelligent n kind ..you always give practical answers thank u

[@lymanmayhew935]

Hey Jim I'm not trying to one up you but I dated a women for 11 months and then found out through the grapevine"her best friend" that she not only had a boyfriend but she lived with him! I would always question why she never ask me over for dinner and only spent the night with me once in that time frame... She would make excuses and get mad when I questioned her on these matters. Now I know why! She would come over for dinner and we'd spend intimate time together and then she'd jump up and say I gotta go. LOL I can laugh now but what a pain in the ass! And yes I said LATER!!! I chose her because she was 11 years older than I and thought she would be over game playing. But what I didn't realize is that she taught the freaking class... LOL Lesson learned! Great video Susan as always...😘

[@lymanmayhew935]

@@crimestoppers1877 as they say I was just an option instead of a priority! She is 65 and I'm 54! Who would of thought that she would still be into games that they play. Oh well such is life! As I said lesson learned....

[@pmk5238]

This was powerful information...I needed to hear this! Thank you!

[@okokotv9866]

My girlfriend just broke up with me today... It hurts but I have accepted it that way. Its all good... Life continues...

[@okokotv9866]

Thanks Susan for the love... I appreciate the fact that you acknowledged my comment. I am a calm and peaceful guy, and I will not stop being who I am. I also love all your videos. You are doing a great job.

[@elizabethjones4325]

@@okokotv9866 please don't stop. The world is awaiting kind men like you . I also pray you get to speak to your girlfriend about how you feel about the break up. The idea that as adults were not to express pain irritates me. Have a great 2019 mate!

[@okokotv9866]

Thanks @mzliz... Even as I want to tell her, I don't think I can... Time will make everything OK. Thanks alot

[@okokotv9866]

Thanks @mzliz... Even as I want to tell her, I don't think I can... Time will make everything OK. Thanks alot

[@tuff47]

I was "ghosted". It was by someone I had known since grade five and over 40 years. She was divorced. We had casual meetings and not official "dates" where I took her to lunch or dinner. Sometimes she returned my calls and emails. Sometimes she did not. Her behaviors toward me were always confusing. Then one day, and from then forward, she just stopped every form of communication and vanished. Three or four months later, I discovered she was dating a man ten years older than her. He was into guns and politics more than anyone I had ever known. But she ghosted me and I was hurt deeply because I NEVER expected that treatment from her and felt like I treated her ALWAYS like a queen. It's been eight years, and I still feel the pain and think of her. I never got closure from her. I don't think she cares or has a clue what she has done. I feel like my heart has just been through a meat grinder and then crushed by a bulldozer.

[@barrymichlowitz1071]

In a way, I can understand a woman ghosting more than a man. If I were a father, I might even recommend it to my daughter. She might have reason to fear for her life. It is too common for a man to lose his mind when dumped face-to-face.

[@jackwebb5917]

Try dating for almost 10 years, living together 2 years, moving out while I slept. Never apologize for such a cowardly manner. And then kept me thinking she wanted to get back together for 3.5 years....and then just suddenly stopping calling or texting. And what I asked her if she was ok.... telling me that she just thought I stopped loving HER!! She may be a nut job, but I guess I was a fool for believing her when she told me for 3.5 years she wanted to get together again

[@thisispi1491]

Ultimately, the longer the relationship and the more immature and disrespectfully messed up the breakup is, the easier is to laugh at it and ‘wake up’ and move on the next day. Some do it on purpose to cross your boundaries so bad that they know they have no way of ‘getting back’ with you. And that is usually cheating and ghosting. .. And people of all ages do this- and can’t look you in the face, to see the confirmation that they are piece of trash... and it’s good to understand that they lack on so many things that are A MUST have for a relationship. If someone ghosted you- first of all, I am very sorry for how they disrespected you. You don’t deserve it- move on and hold up to your sunshine! Thank you Susan for the videos and the insightful juicy knowlege you share.

[@arthurlam751]

Thank you for this explanation Susan.

[@keithfraser3219]

That’s a coward pathetic way of doing things. Everyone deserves closure. Playing games and illusions are for losers. Just think if the shoe was on the other foot. Karma comes back in many ways

[@fottolini]

Ghosted after 4 years. This is SICK! She is a monster! I am going to block her everywhere and I hope she never reaches out to me again. This is not acceptable!

[@lizaagonzi5946]

Thank you Susan!! You say it exactly how it is!! You help me!! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[@sundownsjjones4566]

I was dumped a year ago, but I would say being "ghosted" must be awful too! :-O

[@FeelGoodWithin]

This is so true 👌

[@kittybumbum5988]

Yes yes yes Integrity!! Exact word I used. I told him first and foremost I'm a human being on this earth with him... Just for that I deserve to be treated with respect and INTEGRITY!!

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Kitty BumBum, you look stunning

[@ElmwoodParkHulk]

It's better a person shows their true colors upfront ....unfortunately she wasted 8 months of Jim's time . Unfortunately with all this social media and texting , people are losing social skills because they aren't interacting face to face as much and we are becoming a click and defriend culture .....sad .

[@davinacollins1941]

He is always ghosting me, I got tired of it so the next time he texted I didn't reply... Still haven't replied. Now I'm seeing how he was sucking my energy! I would get upset and everything. Now I have full energy, it's like my drawing it from him mhhhhhh

[@robertcollins5307]

You deserve the best dont put up with that behaviour ! ...... And great surname Sister ! :)

[@davinacollins1941]

@@robertcollins5307 omg collins lol! And yes thank you ever so much brother ' x

[@maylinn4068]

When people dont have respect for others , they dont have respect for them self either . Or they had never behaved like this . Emotional limitations . So dont take it personally

[@pris_pris]

Again...WELL SAID Susan! 😌❤️

[@sammoe1292]

My ex of fours years discarded and ghosted me. It changed my soul. I have shown signs of becoming an absolute dog. I want to go down the good road and not hurt myself or others. How could somebody do that?

[@OlderWomenRock]

I was ghosted after 2 1/2 years . We had a argument when I asked to spend a little extra time with him . He reacted with unusual anger , walked out in a huff . He Never contacted me again .

[@RG-hf4et]

Wow, too bad he got 2 1/2 years of your life that you can't get back.....

[@OlderWomenRock]

Well the ghosting was so wrong but I should have left him much earlier. I knew enough to know he wasn’t up to the standard I wanted .

[@MdAbbas-nt3jy]

Good morning

[@X02switchblades]

Susan I disagree with you on your advice that the person you got ghosted should send something to show their disappointment. After some considerable amount of time of ghosting (8 months of pursuing is showing neediness, heck a week is) assume the other person dumped you and deal with it. Even if something terrible has happened and they don't speak to you it shows that you are not important to them. Move on because you deserve to be treated with excitement and respect and because the sooner you accept it the more time you will have to focus on people who do want you.

[@neketiabuckley5785]

This is the best advice given, because like you said shit after a week, I got the picture

[@pablovarela5422]

Sad but true

[@bobbifloyd8932]

I agree unacceptable! Even if your just getting to know each other, they keep going with it. Like its still open. Then boom! They are gone.

[@heikiquintyn2913]

This happened to me

[@abcdabcd5108]

Susan, great video, thank you. I also watch your video about "slow fade". Is a "slow fade" after 18 months exclusive relationship okay? Is a "slow fade" acceptable, better than "ghosting"? I feel a lot less respect towards my ex, after a slow fade, out of the blue. I cannot find that as decent behavior. Thank you, and looking forward to more videos from you.

[@dristisingh7071]

Sometime ghosting is best way for treating some people who don't respect other perspectives and also are rude toward their partner. Also for those who don't want to understand others feeling and had never done a healthy talks in that case except suffering it is better to leave them silently and let them think if they really cares otherwise u will be a free spirit nd cut off from those toxics

[@mruizruiz2329]

TEN years together and crickets! A blessing…

[@stephenciotti1836]

Good evening coach!

[@SusanWinter]

HI Stephen!

[@robertzsombok7661]

That´s awful to ghost someone when you have a love and relationship together. You are left so hurt and confused. You need answers. You deserved an in-person meeting where she should've explained herself.

[@ronaldwhite4671]

I totally agree with that

[@saimashapi3819]

Just got this video,weird know it is old. However i like wat he asked where did our integrity, respect & dignity go to in todays age. Last yr, the guy was with Ghosted me for 9month when I was under going a botched gallbladder..it has been the most painful recovery in my life!! He came back this yr & apologized, we talked a lot abt everything & why am still under going surgery 3rd one next week&he has amazed me so much by now bn der.

[@lesliet7599]

Ghosting hurts more than honesty

[@theartofmichaelpape]

Knowing she is a narcissist is the closure.

[@connielord8251]

Ghosted after 3.5 yrs... then received an email that my belongings at his house had been packed and I should pick them up.. total jerk!.

[@lioydwilliams1850]

Connie Lord,you deserve better cause you are a precious being

[@connielord8251]

@@lioydwilliams1850 Thank you...

[@Why19501]

You are the best!!!

[@rene5600]

watchin this and see 11.......11 means right path . ( when you see this unexpected) Ghosting even in spiritual world is a very very low thing to do, but it says to the empath you are the right one , but let them be ( the gosther) . it shows you you deserve more and better ... they will hurt themselves more and more .....sad but . move on .

[@yc5141]

THIS IS SAD. People will always show u who they are. The self is always coming through. Poor guy at least you found out the truth and how horrible she is. God bless

[@na821]

I was ghosted after dating for 2 years. My texts were ignored. I didn't knows what to think. I tried talking with that person but all i got was silent. This was about 5 years ago. I still dont know what happened and i guess i never will.

[@RG-hf4et]

Sorry that happened to you.......you probably weren't the first person he did that to and you probably were not the last. I'm sure he did that to others, too.

[@emanaturalsaus]

Me too, Same Sit... It is actually a shame. I realise now that The whole thing & person was a FAKE. There is no other viable explanation. 😑 🤔

[@DihviniteeOne]

I was today years old when I learned that I'm not the only one who has gone through this

[@AP-wt4fi]

I'm dating this guy for over 5 months now and he ghosted me so I deleted his number and unfriend him in social media. I'm tired of him I don't know why he can't tell me straight to my face.