How NOT to Attract an INFJ

[@mrg6663]

An INFJ would know if somebody is genuine or faking a personality to impress or manipulate. I can tolerate many differences if the person is genuine. But disingenuity is unforgiveable and noticed pretty quickly.

[@yenvi1546]

absolutely!!

[@LisaCorleone]

My actions always match my words. I remember everything too. I can't stand wishy washy ppl. Indecisive ppl. Ppl who ask others what to do & take advice from ppl who know nothing on a subject. I don't call them out on it. But in my mind....I remember that.

[@04ingoditrust04]

Yeeeessssss!

[@rissa5161]

@@LisaCorleone yes I agree... I have a close friend who would often ask me what to do in certain situations or ask me to decide things for her. Sometimes she even regrets the decision. It really gets on my nerves. >:( One time she wanted to get this dress and asked me to pick one... so I did, and she said that the dress I picked looks too plain, but she bought it anyway 😃... After it came, she kept on asking me if it looks good on her, and I said yes it does. But, again... she kept on asking me over and over again if I think that it'll fit the theme for a party she's going to, I said it does... AGAIN... she sent me pics of other dresses and asked me if one of those would look better... And me being an honest person, I said this one dress would look better I think... but then she replied that the second dress I picked might make her look fat. Yeah, after that I just stopped replying to her for a while and she finally decided to wear the first dress. 😭

[@nalissolus9213]

Lack of authenticity and dishonesty are my biggest turn-offs.

[@ItsNicola]

Yes!

[@LisaCorleone]

Me too. I despise everything artificial. Real or nothing.

[@TheUniversesDaughter]

makes me cringeee

[@annmarie6870]

Ugh me to

[@didi_0111]

Yes…. Agreed

[@JohnJohnson-bd9zq]

"We like to have conversations that actually MEAN something. A lot of us have a hard time with small talk and see it as a waste of time. I have better things to do. I got work to do. Why am I standing here for 20 minutes talking about nothing with someone that doesn't matter." - The truest thing I've ever heard/seen on the interwebz. This is like every company party or every party that your extrovert friend forces you to go to.

[@buckeyemusicguy]

Not a fan of Ego. 100% agree. Bragging, I just don't feel the need to do it myself & get annoyed when others think they are going to impress me by doing so. Don't brag about anything to earn my respect.

[@chaapola5694]

I feel you bro like we infj pick up when people around us start to brag even about little things and that shit annoys us.. that’s why when we talk we try to avoid bragging to not give that bad impression that we feel when people brag around us lol

[@justChrisjones]

Scare me away by trying to impose your extroverted ideas on what I should be doing with myself. Example: I'm sitting in the warm sun writing or reading and my nieghbor automatically thinks I want her to run over to me with her 3 pitbulls. She assumes anyone in her line of sight wants her to come over and chat. No boundaries. Like, let's keep doing this until your dogs knock me on to the concrete. I love paw prints on my book.

[@cliffvandersluis1112]

Sounds like you need to learn to set strong boundaries.

[@justChrisjones]

@@cliffvandersluis1112 yes, this kind take no hints . This was after I called the police when she was chasing me into my house. So after many tries she finally moved. Her boyfriend was a felon.

[@cliffvandersluis1112]

That brings more clarity and understanding to your first comment. Hope things worked out for you in the end.

[@justChrisjones]

@@cliffvandersluis1112 Yes, thank you. Peace and tranquility.

[@Jo-kh1yo]

I had a neighbor like this... if I left my front door open in the summer time to let in fresh air, within a few minutes or less she would be messaging me asking if I wanted to meet up for a cuppa.... It was like she was watching my front door! Aaarghhhh!

[@aishiasenior2617]

Tell me what I'm thinking, my motivation or intent, without asking and especially after I have explained myself. I lose soooooooo much respect for ppl like that, it's a count down to the SLAM!

[@EmeraldEdge72]

I've had this problem with two black girls for quite a few weeks now. I even gave them videos (not INFJ vids) to help explain myself, but they just seem so hopeless. I am black as well so you could only imagine.

[@aditi1729]

Yesss someone gets me! I don’t like it when people assume things about me. Like no, we’re not the same people. Don’t tell me how I’m going to be/what I’m going to do. Go away. Haha

[@nalissolus9213]

I'm a depressed INFJ who procrastinate ALOT, it has become crippling and thinking about stuff just fills me with guilt and sadness that I'm not able to live up to my ideals. I'm an all-or-nothing kind of person so when I'm too weak-willed or tired to perform I shut down completely. I wasn't like this before so I'm ashamed of what I have become. I think total isolation has worn me down. I also have problems making choices since I have many different interests and I can't pick one life path. I'm stuck in my head and don't follow through with anything anymore. The list of what I feel I ought to do piles up and I don't know where to begin so I just shut down and distract myself with youtube etc. while feeling miserable and guilty.

[@uckBayNguyen]

Dude, your dark night is upon you. Your last and final step is to let go. Your ego and madness of wanting to make sense. Let them go. Detach yourself from what is holding you back. Once you realize your insignificance is when you will experience your spiritual awakening. Let yourself be nothing. No connection. Absolute nakedness like the day your were born. Set your soul free and let it fly. You will no longer be a slave to the world, but a master of your own destiny. You will no longer be of the world. You will be a much more understanding of being an INFJ. Don't be afraid of the dark night, it's the door you've been searching all your life. Take a deep breath, release the hesitancy and let the power above guide you through. See you on the other side, INFJ

[@itsyourgirlkay6521]

@@uckBayNguyen even though this comment wasn't meant for me, thank you so much for this! I'm also experiencing the same things in my life right now

[@uckBayNguyen]

@@itsyourgirlkay6521 Kay, the spiritual awakening is a calling. A calling to answer to a higher conscience. A calling to do the will of our Father, who art in Heaven. You will not walk alone but will be guided by His love and inspiration. Your mind will open, your soul at peace, and wisdom will come as you ask and knock. Your intuition will sharpen and you must take heed. You'll never be alone as Jesus will walk and talk to you daily. Embrace Him and His guidance. Let go of everything and let Him take you into his arms. He will set you free. He will bless you with strength and health and bestow upon you wings to fly and a trumpet to declare His glory. Always give thanks and gratitude. Be grateful of who you are and the gift you have. He will help you detach from the bonds of setting you free. In the world you'll walk alone, but your soul will soar freely. Seek inspiration to be like Him. In essence, let those who see you can say, a disciple of Christ, she is. By the way, you'll spend a lot of time crying. You'll be shedding your old shell and your tears will be joy of letting go

[@amandagarcia9229]

You have described exactly how I feel. It’s almost scary. To be honest I don’t have any advice for you…we’re both in the same unhealthy state. So just know you’re not alone.

[@54lex]

My heart goes out to you. I 've been the same way all my life. Im 61 now. Feel like my life has been a total waste even I have been blessed with a beautiful family,and a beautiful faith in Jesus.

[@Shawn-fn6gl]

It’s so spot on that it’s ridiculous. I feel so seen. It feels amazing to be understood.

[@04ingoditrust04]

Yes! I've found home! 🙃

[@MsDoryLinda]

I'm an INFP and I relate to ALL these 💯 Just the other day I had one of those sales call for my business too and I decided not to buy because of that pressure to commit to buy by the end of call. I kept explaining that I needed time to weigh my options and digest the conversation and they completely disregarded that saying "if I was serious then I'd invest". There was NO way I'd work with someone who didn't care to listen and honor my way of working.

[@infpanaisluciacomedy]

Yep! I'm the same way with purchases! I like to research all options, think about it, then decide. By the way, love your videos! Very helpful! -INFP

[@MsDoryLinda]

@@infpanaisluciacomedy awesome 🤗 I'm so glad you love my content 😀

[@thejoycatcher8189]

I love doing what others believe I couldn’t accomplish! I do things quietly and I don’t push for too much outside help. I plan a lot! LOL I enjoy my alone time and have patience. So when I have a goal I do not waste my time telling just anyone any longer. I’m working on something big for me right now. It has a process it has to go through. It’s reached a point most thought I’d never get it to! It’s empowering and exciting! I’ve learned so many vast things and realize just how little I know myself?! At first it was scary. But now that I’ve taken baby steps and fear less, I’ve tasted a bit of success! It makes me want to keep going! I’ve watched several of your videos for a few weeks and subscribed this A. M. I am so picky and want to make sure I’m learning and listening to someone who can bring more to my life, open my mind, and know they’re relatable! LOL You make so much sense to me! Just wanted to thank you! This is something I’ve been struggling with. I realize there’s so much more out there to learn, I need less but know less about what I’m capable of? It’s funny and exciting now but when I first realized how much I still have to grow it was scary and overwhelming. But now it’s become an adventure?! LOL Better in my 40’s than 20’s?! For me it is! No midlife crisis. It’s a midlife awaking of sorts? 🤷🏻‍♀️😄👌🏻👍🏻

[@beckywarren7732]

Wanna piss me off, be manipulating or try to be intimidating.

[@Elletorryshred]

We definitely love asking why?! And some people find that so intrusive, when we are just curious and want to understand them properly, deeply.

[@MA-vf2ir]

YES!!! I also relocate bugs! - fellow INFJ

[@Gigi-wo8yv]

So do I. Thanks for sharing that! Doesn't it feel good, when we put an insect outside. I think the insect is happy also!!!

[@JonasAnandaKristiansson]

10:12 EXACTLY: Nothing is more limiting and making me want to spend even more time alone than "this". Can't ask or get into, or question things without people thinking one is "against them" or disagreeing with them. I am not against or disagreeing, with my own stuff or theirs, I just want to make the energy and time worthwhile, investigate. Looking at ALL sides, not just what I believe and think is right. I want the perspectives, the clarity, the reality, not just the "seemings" of things. We ain't getting anywhere as a human race from that.

[@JonasAnandaKristiansson]

"What are your reasons/reasoning behind your concept/belief/whatever?" Other person; " I don't need any." Or/and: " Why are you so annoying, why are you questioning me, don't your trust me?" Or anything alike. It has NOTHING to do with my question that is based on curiosity and the genuine interest to understand and evolve, for self and other. Just because one wants to understand, go deeper, question and whatever, doesn't mean (whatsoever) that I am not "for you, or with you". Has nothing to do with one another. One can be of sympathy and use logic and the intellect at the same time.

[@JonasAnandaKristiansson]

In short: The problem is that people misunderstand and misjudge our/my intention of "adding more" to whatever it may be. It feels to me like a lack of true trust, as though I am not doing anything I do FOR them.

[@TK-kf8zc]

Yes, passive agression does stimulate our overthinking, and it is stressful, exhausting and makes us distrustful.

[@dovilegrickeviciute378]

Being pushy with me. Being very egoistic (no-maskers, I'm looking at you) Some very serious moral values clashes (I don't think I could ever view a hunter positively)

[@MVPA-io5ee]

I can relate even from the first opinion... When INFJ heard 1 statement from someone and decide we don't want anything to do with them ..😂😂

[@bike6776]

This is a great video! It is like you are going into my brain and explaining what I could not have explained to this day😁 I will save it to utilize wherever I need to explain myself. Thank you!🙏🏻😊

[@ohyeah2269]

mann as an ENFP everything you mentioned were huge turn-offs to me. Things I also wouldn't appreciate though I'd have tolerance for those things. No wonder we love INFJs and sure INTJs cause I very much resonate with them probably not liking the above experiences.

[@CajunAdrienne]

I'm the loud and hyperish type around people. What's funny is I'm totally quiet and calm when alone. I have social anxiety and think that's why I mask it with talking to much .

[@shynicorn3193]

Thank you, perfect examples and the crazy part is we feel like we pit up with or compromise constantly. Those are our crumb demands to feel loved and valued. Especially the road trip or inviting others, always disappointing but they do it because we are to intense to completely be alone with.

[@aly7754]

The end and means part is so true. I have been debating with my ISFJ bestie for years (eventually we just accepted we’re different) on this issue. I think the means is as important as the end but she thinks only the end matters.

[@joshuabernardo4305]

I forgot this was a list of what not to do. Every bullet point had me triggered and confused.

[@mickeybear2972]

Another way to piss us off: Talk bad about someone to us; especially if it’s family/someone We’re close to. It makes it impossible for that person to defend themselves (even if you’re points are valid) and makes us want to defend on their behalf since we hold justice as a worthy and untouchable ideal.

[@retrogradepink]

i'd add: unsolicited advice! if an INFJ tells you about some fanciful idea they just had, the best way to instantly crush their enthusiasm is by telling them that they *should* really do X, Y, Z with that idea. happens all the time with my ENTJ boyfriend. he loves to hear my ideas, and then tell me i should be acting on them, when all i really want is to express my ideas. ugh.

[@saranox7319]

Any abusive or close minded behaviours. Lie to me (that's an insult becuase I'm not judgemental becuase I see all sides, and it shows how little you know or trust me). Be manipulative. Be aggressive. Gaslight me. Blame shift. Try to intimidate me. Be led by soely emotion. Have double-standarts. Repeatedly try to push my boundaries. Label me as "negativ" or complaining. (When I am disecting a social construct or behaviors.) Call me boring (cause you can't comprehend my side of the conversation) Be a trashy person and only contacting me at late hours when bored or I'm convinient. Show up to our meet ups without sleeping the night before, (that's disrespectful to the quality time I am looking for and to me.) Never provide any emotional support and refer to "independant strong woman" when I ask for support. Be all ego. Don't put any effort into self-reflection or improvement.

[@uckBayNguyen]

Loud people. Loud laughter that can echo off walls. Anything loud that is inescapable. Penetrating megaphone mouth

[@bluntweirdo]

being put on a pedestal and idealized while being related through and not to. they relate to “me” but it’s really their own eroticized idea of me.

[@infpanaisluciacomedy]

Wow. I'm an INFP and I would never do any of these things, ha ha. These would turn me off too! Great video! It's so funny because I actually recently uploaded a video of INFP Women Turn-offs, ha ha! :D

[@lyfeelai5553]

I'm an INFP and all you said are turn-offs for me too.

[@pamchapman3694]

Spot on!! My husband agreed 100%

[@zijywo5550]

On 07:18 - Be overly attached to traditions - Every communication class on TED talks etc asks people to never make assumptions, find out where the other person is coming from. Doesn't that mean that the people who don't like to be questioned 'why' and never ask 'why' are just poor communicators? I'm talking about just the initial 'why', and asked in a polite manner. It's ridiculous how FPs and SJs feel so indignant about being asked to explain their decision-making contexts.

[@fredericrahgoshay-chauvin3039]

I got so annoyed and pist off 😅 Gosh! It felt like you were rubbing sandpaper on window 😂

[@emmaransford]

I can totally relate to all of the above mentioned. I'm into with my darker side of my personality,

[@lisaariottiart]

Spot on! Wow -- I feel so less socially awkward listening to you 😂 Would you say and INFJ/INFJ relationship is the ultimate?

[@CourTooKnee]

All it takes is one little break in concentration and *snaps the finger*.... Yeahhh... IOTYYANMIAA! But playing like so is the next best thing, ain't it?

[@SavannahRoseDI]

I cannot abide people turning up at my house unannounced or saying I'm on my way! and rocking up in 10 minutes its like jezuz!!!

[@GenRN]

I’m supposed to be a perfect match with an INFJ as an ENTP (female). On paper INFJ sounds absolutely perfect for me. The 3 I’ve met are kinda a$$holes. Is it just the ones I’ve met? I don’t have these issues with any other type. One was abusive, all 3 completely talk past me, do not listen and seem to have their own conversation going on in their head that no one else is privy to. They refuse to get into deeper conversation. They seem incredibly shallow and defensive. It’s exhausting and I’m not seeking them out anymore. Maybe these are just unhealthy INFJs?

[@DeeS8]

spot on, especially 1, 3, 4, 5 , 6, 7, 8, 9 and 12.

[@aaronrobinson6244]

Spot. On. 👏🏾

[@kacake]

I prefer old songs, classic forms of art, I prefer conservative ideas too, so maybe not traditions but systems that don't give the maximum result, we like the best food, best dress, etc and we like making complex ideas simple, innovate to improve. well when I am given a role to decide on the project our team would always winh coz I see the big picture I see what is needed and criteria to be met I think that's how we are wired, solving problems for our caregivers, our brains were forced to push ourselves to our limits a lot, when we were young, we know how to build up people and even rescue lost people, like all family members couldn't contain d person but I could, I can activate dead passions or spark sense of purpose out of sheer intuition. I was surprised with time but really I hate it when someone breaks an appointment or late all the time, doesn't show up and even explain, or when we are together is distracted, coz we don't have to meet if the person is not available, I can manage long time of no contact but if we have time and the person doesn't maximize the time I give, yeah, it's a big thing

[@MindfulEating-n3c]

You said all

[@annmarie6870]

I’m an INFP. Not too into this personality type though lol!

[@joinahmukanangana2993]

Tell me about politics ,celebrate gossip beauty magazines and football .fashion ,or what you own or how much you have I will slam the door

[@canadianchinota]

That was hilarious, impressive!

[@beckywarren7732]

So me. Pressure me, the answers no.

[@juliemayhwang4469]

Just feel. 🧚🌷

[@consciousthoughtwithkatie4051]

This made me laugh 😅. Thank you kindly. Irony within myself hahaha 😆.

[@juliemayhwang4469]

shy

[@flower341]

I still didn't understand why am I an infj

[@donnastichert549]

Yeah, I'm a (stupid) rule breaker... :)

[@diannovianti101]

✔🎯👏👏👏 Loved your content so much!🧡⚘

[@Hambar7]

Everything is true :)

[@nambc777]

A-Z of me! 🤣🤣🤣😘

[@t.c9537]

I don't like being around people who always turns a discussion into an argument...people who takes everything I say personally and who makes it their mission to prove me wrong

[@miafannin1]

this.

[@yenvi1546]

oh my god yes i hate that

[@stacfred9509]

Absolutely this.

[@thatinfjgirl]

Agreed. Too combative and stressful.

[@mysterical-]

I agree so much.

[@emfer3010]

Don't like people standing too close to me. What really puts me off, is when I try to keep distance, but they keep getting closer.

[@jillconway6465]

Someone kept doing this to me in the store yesterday ans I even had to ask myself why am I getting so internally irritated lol. I called myself out.

[@user-dm1ew3gg6e]

You are soo right

[@justChrisjones]

I've even looked up what is the correct distance to talk to someone. 😢 !

[@ryanlucascarrasco]

Yes

[@Angelicconnections111]

yes !

[@achtube85]

Timestamps: 00:00 - Intro 00:46 - 1 | Be a logical contradiction 01:49 - 2 | Never open up 02:50 - 3 | Force them into small talk 03:48 - 4 | Dismiss their ideas 05:03 - 5 | Discourage their passions 06:24 - 6 | Interrupt their work 07:18 - 7 | Be overly attached to traditions 08:52 - 8 | Accuse them of being crazy 10:30 - 9 | Force impulsive decisions 12:46 - 10 | Be passive aggressive 13:38 - 11 | Make everything about you 14:21 - 12 | Act like the end justifies the means 15:28 - 13 | Disrespect quality time 16:49 - Outro

[@madmushroom8639]

Here it is! Thank you :)

[@heronofheaven]

If an INFJ truly understand that, he will make an internal smile whenever see this kind of people and he will find a way to understand and attracted by them.

[@aditi1729]

This video describes me to a T. I’m gonna send it to my potential boyfriend hehe

[@DeSa5602]

Thanks man amazing!

[@vanessa271]

Love it...thanks so much! This list is 100% correct.

[@deanacincotta2236]

Being stagnant in your own growth. INFJ's spend sooo much time researching & learning about themselves and others (in order to understand, to grow, to help) and it's disheartening to an INFJ when others don't put any effort into learning about themselves. Besides, the more they learn about themselves the more they can share with INFJ's and it will help us to understand them better (and have deeper & more meaningful interactions). I've noticed that the relationship between an INFJ and another person will get stunted when the INFJ sees that the other person isn't investing in their personal growth and "self-knowledge".

[@Reindeer911]

Belittling an INFJ in any fashion is risky business. Definitely on the mark with this video.

I’m loving this channel and all your content on INFJs! Thank you 🙂

[@paulmulhern1096]

OMG, this is so bang on. By describing how not to attract an INFJ you perfectly describe the INFJ!

[@barbarawarren9443]

These points are spot-on. No wonder I enjoy quarantine so much! Any quarantine negatives are quickly offset by not having to deal with all that crap.

[@LisaCorleone]

Agree.

[@yenvi1546]

so true!

[@thatinfjgirl]

😂 same

[@jonesy2892]

Don't micromanage us!!!! INFJs are highly competent people and just do life very well. We don't need anyone hovering over us and we'll become VERY resentful if we have to put up with this.

[@pieterbruin]

My biggest turn off is the logical contradiction / cognitive dissonance thing. It's effing everywhere. And my second one is jealousy / envy / competition. I really enjoy gardening and one of my neighbors down the street has made it quite obvious several times that she thinks I'm doing it solely to impress and compete. And what makes it even worse is that she often tries to trick me into confirming her pathetic view by saying 'You must be very proud that you have the nicest garden in the street. NO?'. It's SO annoying.

[@violet18]

Yes! I've often heard people say that a narcissistic individual will expose themselves by accusing you of things that they are guilty of. If the neighbor is asking you that question, then it is likely that it is their mentality. I had a coworker get upset with me because she asked me if I ever got frustrated with the students and I told her no. She told me to wait until I had a class of kids all to myself. I'm literally the assistant for the class and she's going to claim that she has them all to herself!

[@JonasAnandaKristiansson]

AWESOME as always. Insightful, reflective, clear, intelligent stuff. Thank you brother!!

[@kitsudanagisa]

Not just romantic partners, also very close best friends, I noticed I get very irritated when my best friend invites me to watch a movie or a weekend full of a tv shows and they get on their phone instead of spending that quality time *they* planned for us..

[@Jo-kh1yo]

If someone ignores me and spends time on their phone when I am in their company, I say something. Its extremely rude behaviour!

[@kitsudanagisa]

@@Jo-kh1yo I do say something, I say it in a kind manner, or hint about it, they'll realize it, but get on their phone like 20 minutes later..

[@darkknight3251]

I find it so odd when people put on a show or a movie and get on the phones. Why? And as INFJ I like to pay lots of attention and try not to miss a single detail :/ 🤷

[@kitsudanagisa]

@@darkknight3251 I mean if they have emergency calls, that's okay with me, but texting during the movie or tv show they display when we're supposed to hang out, or them scrolling through their facebook/twitter/instagram/ect feed when we planned to hang out..

[@darkknight3251]

@@kitsudanagisa agreed

[@serban2139]

-only like me for the body -don't be willing to improve in any way, shape or form -tell me there is nothing beyond our 5 senses -tell me we're not gonna hang out on your day off because you have an 1 hour appointment all day and that makes your whole day busy(it's insane how many do this) -say "we're all gonna die, so why bother" Uhm I'm not sure how accurate these are, but they apply to me, sounds more personal than INFJ, but hey whatever there we go haha

[@achtube85]

I can so relate to this!

[@user-dm1ew3gg6e]

I totally get the 1 hour thing, I have this one friend since kindergarten who always acts like this and I do not get it at all. It seems as if it's always me keeping in contact as well 😕

[@Ricard1807o]

I relate to some of the points, although not entirely INFJ specific

[@darthcarrots2581]

First one for sure. Ended my last relationship because they were pushing too hard for physical intimacy and ONLY that when we were alone together.

[@cristinamariawilmer]

"In any way, shape, or form"... well said 👍

[@sarahofer4368]

Clever Valentine's Day topic :-); the subtle irony of INFJ humor. Another altogether enjoyable vlog.

[@rawgage7]

Bro, you describe every thought and desire that literally goes through my mind and soul. When I took a personality test and came up with the INFJ (which I pronounce as in-fij) descriptors, I was exposed to every reason other people irritate the life out of me! I'm constantly criticized for talking about things too deep, always over analyzing everything and caring too much or being too passionate. Most people turn me off instantly with mindless small talk and can't understand why I refuse to be interested in it. I explain, "small talk is for small minded people and I'm not small minded." This has proven to most that my time and attention is valuable and only earned, not granted. I love that you are very similar and love watching how you explain it in laymen's term. Thank you for being you and being humbly strong enough to put yourself out there to the world. A deep conversation is absolute gold and cherish every one I have. Be safe and please keep making content like this so people like us know we're not crazy and the only ones feeling like this. Btw, interesting way to put the reverse psychology spin on the subject on how to turn us off instead of on... I like that 😎👍

[@Glitteryglows]

I feel you on this! You are not alone ❤️

[@Gigi-wo8yv]

Thank you for this right on target info. I feel the same way.

[@rachelscheaffer9225]

Friends talking about themselves incessantly and telling the same stories over and over and not seeming to have any interest in us. It is mind numbing. I can’t hardly take it anymore, but I politely oblige because I know they really don’t mean any harm, they just don’t know any better. When I’ve tried to stimulate the conversation, sometimes I get statements like “where did that come from?” So frustrating.

[@andy-xx1rj]

And for some reason you can't stimulate other conversations that it isn't about them cause they keep going back to the same storie, I'm so tired of it. Or making all about them when you are trying to open up.

[@asdfghjkl8236]

One main thing that has been hurting my relationship is I can’t take any more guessing... I can’t guess about how someone is feeling, thinking, or going through. I can not be with someone who isn’t transparent and is passive

[@thevoid186]

I have struggled and been turned off by all of these. I used to contort myself to work around them...

[@beckywarren7732]

What I hate is everyone tries to figure me out instead of get to know me. There's nothing to figure out. I'm an open book and noone knows me.

[@Iamfonful]

For me, the biggest turn-off is when they listen only to reply but not to understand.

[@observeroflife0000]

I am 50 yrs old and just discovered what it means to be an INFJ about six months ago... I actually took the test back in my early 20's and found out but honestly had no clue what it meant, because I never looked any further into it. 👍 I seriously thought, "Oh yippy skippy... I am the rarest personality type... As if I don't already feel enough like a square peg trying to fit in a round hole in life..." 🤦‍♀️ But when I finally looked into all this six months ago I was like... "Errrrm... 😳 Holy crap... My entire life suddenly makes sense..." 😳🤣 You nailed it by the way! Imagine the frustration I had my entire life dealing with these things and having no clue why I was like this and couldn't round my edges even a LITTLE to try and fit in that round hole and just be "normal"... 🤣

[@renemartz1520]

Thank God I'm not the only one who catches and releases spiders from my house! I've literally never met another human being in my life who does it too. I've always had a complex about it because others have made fun of me or made me think I'm weird. I'm so happy to know I'm not alone in that lol. Your awesome! Love this video too! ❤😊🕷

[@Gigi-wo8yv]

I have been doing the catch and release of insects for a very long time! Wish everyone felt like we do!

[@stephaniescott424]

You are not alone! I grew up in a household where that was what you did if you didn't want a bug indoors. Spiders are nice to have around though-they typically keep to themselves.

[@sarahmeadows5432]

I do this and I'm not INFJ

[@thesinigang]

Everything you mentioned really hurts and annoying. 😭😭🤣😂😂😂

[@virgomanifesting5414]

I'm in a relationship with an INFJ and I myself am an INTJ. We have both been completely open with communication from day one and we both hate small talk so we don't waste don't on that and it's one of my favorite things about us. He is my true unicorn and I can't imagine a better person for myself. No matter how much he tests me. I understand that it is just in his personality DNA to exhaust unrealistic hypotheticals. Thankfully I've found the best way to let him know when enough is rough is through subtle visual cues because verbal cues don't work lol He truly is magnificent to me.

[@virgomanifesting5414]

@@hvitulv7336 like if I put my hand to my face and either look up or away he knows I'm getting frustrated lol Thankfully he has an immense amount of patience for me though. If he were both getting frustrated with my being frustrated that would be chaos🤣🤣 But knowing his MBTI definitely helps me to know that he isn't doing that to be a pain in the ass so I'm able to have more patience and understanding than if I had no knowledge. But myself being an INTJ also helps us. We just both are very analytical people who are stuck in our heads 90% of the time. But when we are together we are just automatically unstuck and open...And no matter how inappropriate and/or frustrating that can be at times I would never want him to feel like he can't be 100% himself with me. He's the only person I've ever dated who I am as comfortable as I am when I'm alone in my own space. And its nice us knowing that no topic is necessarily off limits.

[@virgomanifesting5414]

@@zmbo5751 🤣🤣Actually my being an INTJ makes it impossible for me to fake anything let alone be fake lovey! Him and I get along so well because even in frustration we still talk nonstop. We work out any issues that may arise from either party and find a way to meet in the middle. We have both been looking for the exact this we provide for each other instinctively. I can't make anyone understand our connection since no one else is in it. But him and I both understand that we have much to learn about each other and both have the willingness to see us through. The good far outweighs any bad and that's something neither of us has experienced with past partners so being together just feels like a breath of fresh air 🍃 And we are able to recover very quickly after coming to a resolution and drop the subject because we know we communicated everything to full efficiency which is something we both appreciate.

[@virgomanifesting5414]

@@zmbo5751 Its ok. And we do have a very deep romantic bond on top of the intellectual connection. We feel bonded at a soul level as well and that I'm sure makes a big difference. When we met we both recognized something in the other that drew us together.❤ Because I care for him so deeply I do make the effort to understand him and every facet of himself. Watching videos and reading on his INFJ personality also helped me to understand why he is the way he is and love him that much more for it.

[@virgomanifesting5414]

@@zmbo5751 Well I already see him as my forever person so naturally I want to know everything I can to better understand him and help our relationship to keep growing and evolving 😊🙌❤

[@Gigi-wo8yv]

@@virgomanifesting5414 How fabulous! Congratulations to you both!

[@lifeofmim]

Your video quality is so amazing.

[@Pets-n-Treats]

Oh, I so understand the pressure sales thing. I had a situation recently where that happened. And I was done with that before it ever got started.

[@getreadywithmemamma]

With this title, the anthropsychologist in me had to click. Gosh, this made me sad. You have put up with too much. I wish authentic, smart, caring people your way. 🙌🏼

[@beekind14]

I'm pretty sure my ex is an ESTP. He would always say that anything philosophical or abstract was really boring and basically asked me to not engage him in anything like that. We ended up having nothing to talk about. Among other reasons, it's something that killed the relationship. To be honest he was only interested in talking about himself, gossip or small talk. But I never told him how boring I found that...

[@violet18]

Reading your comment made me feel so validated. I work in a classroom with an ESTP woman and she's the only coworker that I interact with all day. She complains so much about anything and everything. She even complains about the buzzing sound that the screen makes when you turn it on. She's so hypocritical in the standards she has for others compared to herself. She doesn't give anybody any grace, but instead she jumps down people's throats at the slightest annoyance to her. She has straight up rolled her eyes at me before all because she had to resend an email.

[@rawgosia]

Hi all fellow INFJ 🕷 catchers! ❤️ I like to catch and release 🪰 too. ☺️

[@robinjacob1294]

Every word clearly articulated. 👍

[@PowerRedBullTypology]

I hope this video is useful for those who do not want to attract an INFJ :P

[@mysterical-]

me too! because then they won't think to bother us. but part of me thinks, what if its best to bring them to us, so they won't bother anybody else lmao.

[@rebeccacirillo2494]

That's why I watched it 😅

[@MeeCee5204]

Be closed minded Be coy or vague Be fake humble Be wilfully ignorant Be unpredictable Be purposely difficult Be overly judgemental Be selfishly opportunistic

[@jjwhite2000]

I'm kind of new to Myers Briggs, but after reading up on the functions, taking several tests, etc, I'm really thinking I'm an INFJ. Most everything in the video resonated with me, except maybe the part about liking to be asked why. Maybe it's because I have been asked why in a challenging tone too many times, and I feel like I'm being put on the spot to defend my decisions. I don't feel like I do things for a single reason, so when someone asks me why, I really have to think. It's like I do things based on a feeling that it is the right thing to do, and that feeling is based on hundreds of different pros and cons that I subconsciously use to make that decision. When someone asks me why, I start trying to think of all the million pros and cons and why I decided why the pros outweighed the cons, which isn't easy... and who wants to hear all that? Lol

[@jimboarmour4755]

I killed a spider the other night. Felt sooo bad after. It was just watching me, but from too close for comfort. Its below zero outside though, so I did it humanely. Still felt bad for about 10 mins, as I saw life through its 8 eyes.

[@L3onOfKings]

I have a spider capturing container with a lid, if it's wet or cold outside I'll put it outside under the house in following morning. If it's a nice day or night, I'll release it straight away of course. My housemate is ESTJ so he has no problem in killing things, so if I see a spider in the bathroom or throughout the house, I have to quickly capture it before he sees it to either kill it or vacuum it. In short, get yourself a spider capturing container!

[@DiamondsRexpensive]

@@L3onOfKings do you have an image of this container? Spiders are too fast for me.

[@tutu3909]

This is so strange I recently took a spider out on my balcony because I refused to kill it, and I did the same with a moth that was flying in my kitchen for a while. Might I add I love your videos and I have never felt more understood by someone, I feel lost at times around people because I am an empath, it's really hard to take that all in and people expect us to be ok.....

[@ma_ja1744]

I think i am more an INTJ, but this explained a lot to me why i react to things like i do. INTJ would kill the spider, yes? ;-)

[@kdodson26]

Sorry to say this guys as I know it’s controversial, but the high pressure sales thing is exactly why I’m not taking this vaccination. Something feels so off with how hard they are pushing it, and I was never a anti vaccination person in the past. Just feels off to me.

[@yepitsme7237]

Sometimes I let it run on to see where it goes. Plus to get more insight to why they are so disturbing to us. Also to be more malleable to not only switching it up the gears but oil them so transition between are more faster and smooth

[@weekeat3726]

Please dont do this anyone no matter what personality you are. Be loving and care for each other. Im INFJ and some of the layout steps done have cause me to fall into depression and almost took my life.

[@origins9550]

As an INFJ, my soul just left my body after watching this video

[@rubyroseevenstar2149]

INFJ- Yes- True to all of this! Excellent alternate view video for a Valentine's post.

[@Gio-sx7kt]

One of the things that bugs me in a lot of mbti discussions is the perpetuated idea that trapping a spider to put outside is of the Fi function, an Fi value, but I was always the one wanting to save and trap spiders to put outside, which I felt a product of my Fe-Se functions, while my INFP ex would just kill it, which I felt attached to his Si-Te. And well he's my ex for a lot if not all of these very reasons. The breaking point was when he told me it wasn't ok for me to be me anymore. I should've left sooner, but I felt conflicted, and I think maybe that was a product of my Fi blindness, and Fe desire to accept people as they are, but I'm still trying to figure it out. I just know that there are solid reasons to keep that door shut.

[@sussycatto30]

I guess people hate me now.. it's ok I'm all alone anyway - INFJ

[@sirrenn1936]

The only thing I disagree with is this, the spider, first if someone else is around, they take care of said spider otherwise it's a can of Raid.

[@aishiasenior2617]

Exactly - lol!

[@Eyesofanenigmaticsoul]

So wonderfully put. Thank you 🙂

[@Ella-qg4bq]

Generally INxx types are super picky as observers. 😊