New Sanctions Punish Russia For War Crimes | Zuckerberg's Pals At Work Call Him "Sauron"

The U.S. added new sanctions to punish Russia for war crimes in Ukraine, and renowned Tolkein expert Stephen Colbert reacts to news that Facebook employees use a "Lord of the Rings" reference when poking fun at their boss Mark Zuckerberg. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel: bit.ly/ColbertKZbin
Watch full episodes of "The Late Show": bit.ly/1Puei40
Listen to "The Late Show Pod Show" podcast: link.chtbl.com/Awagtx95?sid=yt
Like "The Late Show" on Facebook: on. 1df139Y
Follow "The Late Show" on Twitter: bit.ly/1dMzZzG
Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram: bit.ly/29wfREj
Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
---
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

[@gamepapa1211]

OK, walk me through this: Tennessee won't allow gay couples to adopt a child due to "concern for the children", but at the same time, they're promoting baby marriages!? What the hell?!

[@Marlowekay]

---- --- ----fire???

[@okkietrooy6841]

I think they wanted so desperately a way of marriage that is not accessible for homosexuals that they forgot to protect their children from child marriage. I guess in their mind a marriage between 2 loving adult males is a bigger threath to their children than child marriages. 🤮

[@y_fam_goeglyd]

Some states already allow underage marriage with parents' consent. I remember reading a long news story on the BBC with women who'd been basically sold to older men aged around 13. Legally. The story isn't that old. I was going to say a few years, but I think I've lost two years, so add a couple more if you want to search their website. They usually keep their old pieces up. If you find it, make sure you have a strong drink to calm you and a box of tissues for your tears.

[@alexfischer2527]

No sir, you cannot adopt this little girl - you can only marry her.

[@susanmorgan715]

Marry Them Fosters Off Quick. Kill 2 Birds With 1 Stone Type Of Thing. No Problem Here...

[@mori1bund]

I wonder what facebook employees call zuckerberg behind his back, when "eye of sauron" is what they call him to his face. 🤔🤔😆😆

[@havcola6983]

The "Eye of Sauron" is a pretty old way to describe a certain crappy management style in IT. It's an environment where everybody is largely ignored except for one unlucky guy who is in charge of whatever has the managers attention that week and thus has them looking over his shoulder constantly. The other common crappy management style is the "Seagull". Those are the managers who swoosh from out of nowhere, have no idea what's going on, shit all over the trenches and leave. Neither is a compliment.

[@seanstoyroom7274]

Sounds like a boss of mine who just got her Marching Orders. Sad.

[@chonqmonk]

My management style is the reverse spin dunk bacon cheeseburger with a side of fries approach....I let my employees know clearly what they need to do to win, let them know that *I work for them* and ask them what can I do for you to make sure you consistently win - and then I do that, whatever that is, and I consider doing whatever that is for all of them to be my job.

[@MonkeyJedi99]

@@chonqmonk Mmm... Bacon...

[@gorkskoal9315]

LOL umm I wonder how dence Zuck is. then lol!

[@noahkirkpatrick8912]

I would mean it as a compliment.

[@callen9623]

as fucked up as it is-I think zuck wears that Sauron title as a badge of honor. A true sign of a terrible boss. He just said the quiet part out loud

[@rightchordleadership]

I have no doubt he’s an insufferable a-hole.

[@AntaresM1911]

That "Tom Leatherwood" joke was brilliant, i cannot stop laughing 🤣🤣

[@hardybeverly]

Yes! So funny, he’s on tonight! I crack up here by myself, but who needs anyone when the Late Show is on!!!😆

[@Echo81Rumple83]

What is it with these Republican politicians and their surnames equating to a myriad of euphemisms ranging from naughty body parts to human excrement?

[@eeyorehaferbock7870]

As someone who was born in Tennessee and still has some awesome relatives from there, I apologize on behalf of my birth state for that bill.

[@chezmoi42]

If you haven't already seen it, you will love this TN boy: kzbin.info/www/bejne/lWmYenukoN2WqNE

[@sonnyroy497]

That's a reptipublican for ya!

[@johndododoe1411]

Have you read the bill and found out what is and isn't on it, besides all the hot takes.

[@Synathidy]

Hearing him say his employees call him the "eye of Sauron" and also hearing that he thinks they refer to his attention as this "lovingly" was enough to make me laugh hysterically.

[@MaryAnnNytowl]

Tuber - what a great joke to start with! And _it gets better from there!_ Stephen, you and your writers are so good at finding ways to help us laugh even during the darkest of times. Thank you for all you do - it means so much to me! ❤❤🖖🏼🙂👍🏼💋❣

[@jcanfieldschatz]

I've actually been looking forward to my nightly Colbert "Is Potato" joke..

[@ellevonk.2925]

Yes! 🙌

[@maret1729]

"No matrimony until you can slice bologna" lol

[@Marlowekay]

OUCHIE!!!

[@douglasdavis8395]

"So let it be written, so let it be done!"

[@RichArtLove]

The fact that Jon B is back here at his job after sweeping all the Grammy awards is a clear testament to the value everyone places on this brilliant show.

[@phriedokra6158]

Jon knocked em dead at the Grammys did he not!!! he had quite the year! well deserved btw!!! well deserved!

[@Jozamendo]

And that there's no good music being produced anymore.

[@BogeyTheBear]

This comment hasn't aged well.

[@bamse1618]

"Tom Leatherwood.... That's is why you have to use sunscreen." Really Stephen LOL.

[@fdrstan]

That Eye of Sauron part had me DYING.😂

[@UNDERSIA]

During these absolutely atrocious times Stephen keeps me sane Love from Poland

[@joannajamerson35]

I'm a polish -amercian I love Stephen Colbert

[@PattyDalmau]

Yes he does 😂 We’re praying for Poland too from California ❤️

[@lincolnnoronha4128]

yeeeah! love from Brazil

[@stephanlarsen8169]

So much trouble in the world Jah rastafari praises blessings respectfully Tucson Arizona Sonoran desert 🏜️ Jah sisters

[@guynorth3277]

I seriously did not know people watched from Poland, I would just watch your local stuff! Good Day, Eh!

[@charliebozzo9948]

"...unable to identify the pictures with stop signs." ON POINT!

[@aspeckofstardust]

As a Russian American I just appreciate that Stephen’s signature joke about Russia is about potatoes and not vodka. I do like potatoes 😋 Vodka, not so much.

[@dwarfie24]

Grilled potatoes mate. Marinated in chilli powder with a crust on the outside. 🤤

[@dafttool]

French Fries 👍🏽

[@Timithydwolf]

Parmesan potatoes are the best.

[@NuiYabuko]

Isn't it the same, though? lol (Vodka is made from grain or potatoes.) Not going for the cheap Easter European drunkards joke is definitely appreciated by this fellow Eastern European.

[@rahcollier7006]

To be fair, potatoes are great. A food for all occasions.

[@TrillBelichick]

“Pro Tip” That was a multidimensional joke 😂

[@ARIXANDRE]

I always love it when the Potato drops.

[@mireilledischer3380]

“Seen here unable to identify the pictures that contain stop signs” Thank you! I’ve always thought he looks and behaves non-human.

[@cancangirl2888]

Thank you, thank you for my daily “Is potato” dose. Keeping the LOL moments alive in such dark and dire times.

[@chezmoi42]

This one was baked to perfection. 🔥🥔🔥

[@skym821]

These war crimes made me sick to my stomach. In my opinion, no consequence could be enough for what's going on.

[@stephanlarsen8169]

So much trouble in the world Jah rastafari praises blessings respectfully Tucson Arizona Sonoran desert 🏜️ Jah sisters

[@Catani84]

Yeah ... No one should defend Russia and I'm definitely not...but I also know how propaganda works...and so many people have many doubts about the Bucha movie clip. We all know the war is always dirty.

[@StephBer1]

@@Catani84 There are literally dozens of news agencies from Europe and the US in Bucha with reporters standing beside dead bodies and interviewing traumatised old people. Are you trying to say that ALL of them are staged? If so, then maybe you should think about where YOU get your information.

[@mikeharrison1868]

I absolutely agree that those respo Sible for the crimes should be hurt badly. But we need to try to do so in a way that doesn't hurt the ordinary Russian in the street. Remember that a big part of why WWII happened was the terrible versatile treaty after WWI...

[@malloc7108]

I'm pretty sure I could get you to agree war crimes would be excessive consequences

[@DustyJones1997BGCL]

That Tennessee bill is totally insane Matt Gaetz is on his flight over there he was rejected at a Chuck e cheese party for a 12 year old girl lol

[@youtubewatcher2]

Someone will no doubt open a divorce mill in western North Carolina to cater to the Gaetzes of the world (and yes I did just get sick in my own mouth at the thought of plural Gaetz)

[@johndododoe1411]

This comedy skit seems to get everything about that law wrong. It may be bad, but the joke just takes one of the possible flaws and claims that flaw is the entire thing. From what I previously heard, the law does something else, then forgets to repeat the age limits from the law about normal marriage, making it unclear if those still apply.

[@fireflower12]

@@johndododoe1411 the law itself is intended to be homophobic, but then the language 'accidentally' also allows for child marriage. its garbage through and through

[@pyrovania]

I heard a story yesterday about the local cops near here keeping an eye on the Chucky Cheese because perverts like to hang out there, they know unattended children visit.

[@trickymick]

The jokes were so on point today. Stephen (and his writers) makes me feel much better while my life is going down the gurgler. Keep it up Stephen a huge fan here for over 20 years!

[@nikolaipersad4098]

THIS!!

[@suecastillo4056]

Gurgler…😂😂🤣🤣🤪‼️hysterical!

[@brianwall9592]

- yep, Stephen is good Gurgler Repellent...

[@reggiecantrell6193]

joking about sanctions that are being levied because of war crimes is "on point"?

[@annarose3354]

Godh he has been around a long time

[@sprtsfanatic1]

“It’s The Hydroxychloroquine of justice.” That was perfect 👌 Also, it’s quite demoralizing and disturbing that we’ve reached a point in American society where a large fringe-group of American extremists legitimately want to indict and jail a scientist that’s devoted his life to public health and stopping infectious diseases

[@sprtsfanatic1]

@n k While I will certainly not debate that big pharma is guilty and culpable of multiple egregious agendas and crimes that negatively effected or destroyed thousands of lives (opioid crisis) it does not blanket all of them under the same veil. Yes, extensive testing with any new vaccine is well warranted and expected, especially when combating a viral infection that attacks your lungs and immune system. Nevertheless, the results over a massive scale are resoundingly in favor of mitigating the effects of COVID and preventing further infection. Of course, as with a massive population density and distribution, there will always be outliers within that third standard deviation that have complications or unforeseen effects from said vaccine. However, the same occurred for vaccines to combat Smallpox, Hepatitus B, Polio, H1N1, Measles, Mumps, Rubella, etc. Nowadays, children are required by state law to have those vaccines for obvious reasons. I’m sure that there will eventually be the same requirement for COVID at some point, as it continues to ravage the US and the world. The only way to eradicate a virus completely is though vaccines, as was done by Smallpox. The irony being that COVID-19 is a variant of the Smallpox virus. Continual testing for COVID and vaccination will continue years from now and hopefully our healthcare professionals can develop a vaccine to either eliminate it completely or mitigate its symptoms to something innocuous. However, to state that the COVID vaccines were “untested,” and “did. Or have any real benefit that would justify a widespread use,” is not only misleading but false. Again, dozens of studies by the CDC, WHO, HHS, and healthcare facilities around the world have proven and emphatically stressed the importance of how much the vaccine mitigated the strength of the virus and halted its spread. I had close friends and family contract the virus, all vaccinated, thankfully, and they developed mild and not severe symptoms. I’ve heard too many horror stories of unvaccinated people contracting the virus and dying because they believed in conspiracy theories or charlatan pseudoscience remedies. Moreover, I have almost a dozen friends in various professional medical practices (Radiology, RN, Anesthesiology, Virology, Personal Physicians, and Nephrology) and they all posted physical and anecdotal testimonials of how COVID effects the body and how the virus combats it. Again, yes there will always be outliers when delivering a vaccine to millions of people, but an overwhelming majority are protected. The vast majority of people over the past year that have gotten infected and died were unvaccinated, aside from breakthrough infections of those that were still infected even while receiving the virus. Again, part of that extreme third standard deviation

[@cctomcat321]

I mean, we already live in a society where the state can work with corporations and a company like Chevron can privately prosecute a lawyer for successfully suing them and have them locked up (look up Steve Doziger, he's done some interviews recently). Hasanabi has a pretty bare bones question/answer interview. Or enact state violence against and execute an "AntiFa" member, keep you locked up after finding exonerating evidence that proves your innocence, and has its own badged gang to act in the interest of capital owners rather than citizens. Remember that dude who Trump (claimed to have) basically had hunted down? At least Fauci only has to worry about morons calling for him to be jailed over nothing a la Hillary. But I guess if we have another 2016, who knows? The GOP has gone completely untethered and they don't even bother hiding their weird obsession with authoritarianism within their party.

[@Neoyoshimetsu]

And charge money for the fake privilege of not having any legal standing. It's obviously a scam.

[@bunzeebear2973]

The "Fauc" DID NOT PROMOTE Hydroxychloroquine. "Orangutan" did. So, go after that LOSER. Strange how the promoter of said medicine did not take it HIMSELF. What did he have to lose? Either it works or it don't. (Hint- it don't)

[@roseananthanayagam8056]

Fauci will smile down from heaven on their broiling, roasting screaming selves.

[@fotosonics]

Congrats to Russia on its new tagline, “Is potato.”

[@stephanlarsen8169]

What do you call an auto cratic potato 🥔? A dick tater Jah rastafari praises blessings respectfully Tucson Arizona Sonoran desert 🏜️ Jah sisters

[@music_YT2023]

Latvia will not stand for this affront!

[@gustie44]

Very lazy

[@ellevonk.2925]

🥔

[@youtubewatcher2]

It is also what every denialist and denazification myth spreader gets per comment

[@sierrafrank0000F]

Thank you again Stephen for the LOLs on these horrific dark times. It keeps spirit up! Love from Finland

[@cindypomerleau950]

United we Stand Finland. Let's beat the fascist ideology. 💙🇺🇦💛

[@catherinekenny3926]

Stay strong and safe and SANE from the west coast of Scotland x

[@Marijuanifornia]

The US legalized weed to win World War II. Europeans need to share the 1942 USDA video *Hemp For Victory* throughout all social media. Americans don't care about this, so maybe Europeans will take notice because Europe wouldn't exist if the Allies had lost World War II. The video was banned from US history books and public broadcasts in order to run anti-marijuana drug war lies and propaganda for almost 50 years after World War II, but the film has been public since 1990 and the war on drugs has actually escalated in that time. This needs to go viral. So, if Europeans could help to finally get this noticed, it would change the United States and the United Nations, rearranging the way that the entire world does business, and ultimately stopping climate change by replacing fossil fuels and ending deforestation. Then all of us wouldn't be living through such dark times.

[@pastasoo]

This war is not a "horrific dark time" for America at all. They get to righteously sanction their cold war adversary to death without lifting a finger or being in the crossfire of war. America has it good.

[@dsddala467]

This is easily on of Stephen's best monologues.

[@chonqmonk]

If you would have added "...in the last week or two." -to the end of it, I would agree.

[@nikolaipersad4098]

THIS!!

[@thisismetoday]

6:44 “Zuckerberg seen here unable to teach his AI human emotions”

[@womanofsubstance8735]

So is Tennessee also going to delete age limit for voting, drinking, or driving?

[@Jartran72]

Well the bill was designed to be homophic.. terrible

[@bunzeebear2973]

Oh, they will be able to buy houses and WORK (circumventing the child labor laws) and pay income tax...and also enlist in the military so YOU SUPPORT THEM. Children is running the government, aka idiots.

[@mariashevyrova3730]

Dear Stephen, could you please keep the titles for your videos. We watch them from all around the world and want to understand each of your words. Hugs from Ukraine :*

[@istdochallesegal3427]

Slava Ukraini - we have your back!

[@vsiegel]

🇪🇺♥🇺🇦 Slava Ukraini!

[@youtubewatcher2]

Slava Ukraini from Europe. We are pushing our politicians to help better. At least tanks are finally coming.

[@TyroneNorwood]

The give him a break joke was classic.

[@natashariley8095]

The lovely staffer off camera laughing so heartily always makes me laugh 😂Fantastic monologue Stephen and co 👌👏

[@Opus313]

The "Is potato" gag could go for quite some time. It's versatile just like potato...

[@jessicalong338]

🤣🤣🤣

[@cc1k435]

And satisfying! Just like.... 🥔

[@Mondfischli]

... until it gets fried 🤔

[@queenofzenk]

anyone who sponsors or signs that age of consent bill is 100% sus.

[@douglasdavis8395]

Watch a couple of the vids on youtube; gives you a better picture of what happened. I think it was intentional, but what do I know; I live in Indiana?

[@tdmprofit3708]

Now you understand what the + was all about. Intergenerational relationships. Well done democrats/ republicans. Same sh.t !

[@jakemoeller7850]

"That's why you gotta wear sunscreen." 😂🤣😂

[@jcoopes5604]

FYI: it’s primary season, register and vote 🗳! We cannot let them get control! Let’s ditch Mitch and minions for all they stand for/on!

[@joenisnapje712]

People should do this more often, telling the super rich simply “NO” 🛑 Must be priceless to watch the look on their entitled faces change to pure disbelief 👍🏻

[@Kenghym]

That story just screams "Berlin" to anyone who knows that city. People in Germany and many of the freedom loving underground music scenes in particular hate the kind of capitalism Musk embodies. The club in question is also known for being very picky when it comes to its guests with the goal to create a truly open atmosphere to let people express themselves. Elon Musk is the antithesis to that. I bet the bouncers were extatic when they had this chance.

[@christiansebastianlauritse2404]

But this collage student living in a dorm room has been to both places. 😉

[@valariethomas1658]

My sister lived in Berlin and was a regular at Berghain with her college friends. She said that they made it a habit to turn away people who took themselves too seriously.

[@Shinku_no_sanbun]

@@valariethomas1658 So most people that use Twitter regularly then.

[@cindypomerleau950]

@@Shinku_no_sanbun Friends don't let friends use Facebook or Twitter.

[@joannajamerson35]

Stephen Colbert keeps me sane and I love John Baptiste

[@hardybeverly]

John is such a wonderful talent and human!

[@douglasdavis8395]

@@hardybeverly - And he changed his name to 'Jon Batiste.'

[@mikeyf7039]

@@douglasdavis8395 I’ve been suddenly confused about that, thought I was seeing typos. Interesting.

[@jlpack62]

Tom Leatherwood: "shooting" outside. Now there's a double entendre for the ages.

[@hopefulspectator6573]

The running "Is potato" joke really gets me laughing every time

[@gl15col]

Another reason to legalize marriage at any age is to make it easy for pedophile rapists to marry their victim and avoid being charged. The parents of the poor girl are so embarrassed by their daughters getting knocked up at the age of 12, they find marrying her to her attacker is better than admitting what happened. Real nice, right?

[@classiclife7204]

Real nice. It's almost as if conservative are pro-child-sex by definition. Disgusting people, really.

[@jcoopes5604]

Well Tennessee is trying to do it again snd get rid of the age restrictions

[@mori1bund]

Typical Republican: " we have no probem enabling pedophile rapists as long as we can hurt gay people..."

[@marvinmartion1178]

IWJWD!

[@chonqmonk]

Matt Gaetz is shopping for a home in Tennessee right now.

[@laalaa99stl]

Hmm. I wonder why the Former White House Occupant didn't drop $2.64B to buy his way back onto Twitter? Wink emoji.

[@dee_dee_place]

Deutsche Bank would give him any more loans 😜

[@esaedvik]

@@dee_dee_place Or Sperbank

[@stitchcrafter]

That was a MONOLOGUE FOR THE AGES... SO GOOD, made me laugh out loud numous times... THANK YOU.

[@shepinchains1]

One of THE greatest of all time! Writers are on fire!!

[@mrsr003]

Be careful not to eat or drink while watching! Trust me! I know from experience!

[@zesty9815]

... the one bank where you _want_ your assets frozen ... leaving my Mark ... the hydroxychloroquine of justice

[@LenaVideos1000]

"That's why you need to wear sunscreen." Hilarious!

[@jay-em]

He was on fire....

[@FutureCommentary1]

People all around the world are fighting against child marriage and then... Tennessee. Smh

[@wingv313]

“Is potato “ is catching on 🤣🤣🤣

[@christinebates7493]

Colbert is the best late night talk show host since Johnny Carson! Love Fallon and Kimmel, loved O'Brien......but Colbert has energy, charm and perfect timing! Just perfect in every way.

[@randyj420]

Letterman was the man in the 80s. Period. Broke all the rules and changed everything. Thankfully, Conan picked up and ran with it,.

[@Ruintheus]

Agreed. Best since Carson

[@Beruthiel45]

Fallon isn't funny. I stopped watching him. When you watch several different monologues in a row you can see the differences.

[@teamvlcn6820]

Calling Zuckerberg 'Sauron' is an insult to the Fallen Maiar.

[@gamepapa1211]

I mean, he kind of deserved it. And with he, I mean both of them.

[@Philrc]

Eh?

[@samuelleighton6850]

In The Silmarillion, Sauron was the first werewolf, but when daddy bad guy(Morgoth) got his ass kicked by his kin, all baby dark lord could do was run, hide and plot revenge for a thousand years. Eventually he did Bad Things, but it was always a pale imitation of his master.

[@6666Imperator]

@@Philrc Maiar are lesser gods who decided to go to Arda (the earth)

[@6666Imperator]

It would make his employees and followers Trolls and Orcs though and that is kinda fitting :p

[@mmartinezPhysics]

Bunker Dwarf is buried in sanctions

[@Jaecinth]

“He’s going to destroy democracy”. Truer words have never been said.

[@christaleman2279]

Hello bev

[@christaleman2279]

How are you doing today

[@germanqr]

Stephen's monologues keep getting better. Kudos to the whole team

[@suecastillo4056]

And no matter how good a monologue is? I believe it’s gotta have a great delivery system… Colberts it!🤣😂😍

[@germanqr]

@@suecastillo4056 absolutely!

[@CherishEachDay2023]

Hydroxychloroquine of justice 🤣🤣🤣

[@culvuil]

This was an epic monolgue, I must say 😎

[@ittakesallkinds809]

Stephen is in rare silliness tonight.😁

[@Barqu3ntine]

I love Colbert's bad dancing impressions haha

[@NewMessage]

I'd say Zuck should change his logo to The All Seeing Eye... but CBS beat him to it.

[@shahnulislam9897]

Do all the people you love live in a mirror?

[@TheDarkness1]

@@shahnulislam9897 Real question, does anyone love you? Look in the mirror.

[@TheDarkness1]

Zuck is a thief and a liar says the all seeing eye.

[@johnwattdotca]

@@TheDarkness1 "I used to live in a room full of mirrors, and all I could see was me, until I took my spirit and smashed all those mirrors, and now the whole world is there for me to see, and I'm waiting for my love to be". Jimi Hendrix

[@shahnulislam9897]

@@TheDarkness1 awww poor snowflake did i hurt your feelers

[@dm-do7qz]

We have to seize the assets of our own oligarchs. Or at least make them pay taxes.

[@jedidiahm6437]

Funniest guy left on TV the only person that gives weekend update a run for their money. Keep em coming

[@randyj420]

Now that is a serious writing crew - and amazing delivery by Colbert. Thanks for keeping it real - and hilarious.

[@CJA32able]

Omg the Musk dance and ten percent of twitter. 🤣 🤣 😂

[@143tazzz]

Stephen’s monologue is a treat after having a terrible day

[@rawkfistgaming]

Well I hope your night ends up better!

[@nadiashireensiddiqi]

Russain civilians have repeatedly condemned the actions of their govt. The s bank is one bank u want ur assets frozen was a good one. D Cassidy and Cryoto kids I hope Elon Musk fixes toxic Twitter

[@JustSomeCanadianGuy]

How? It’s just a reminder of how horrible the world is. 🤣

[@ghostpiratelechuck2259]

He’s real comfortable trashing Elon… didn’t he say two weeks ago he didn’t care about the effects of sanctions or if gas goes to $15, because he drives a Tesla? 🧐

[@y_fam_goeglyd]

Hope tomorrow is better for you, my friend. Many e-hugs for you 🤗

[@terrellmoorebennett9970]

Jon, tearing UP that Thelonious Monk! I love it!!!

[@biggs2110]

“Sperm bank, the one bank where you WANT your assets frozen” might be the best joke I’ve ever heard.

[@ritamariekelley4077]

Yet the Koch's still won't pull their money and investments out. Koch greed is worse than regular greed.

[@110100111000]

They ain't get'n any bang for that buck. https :// m.youtube.com /watch? v= LxgMdjyw8uw

[@cindypomerleau950]

The Koch empire is still trying to rule the world. End Citizens United ! Vote blue in 22. Urgently.

[@pastasoo]

Unfortunately, the Kochs are rich because they are smart businessmen. Which says a lot for what is going on right now about how stupid liberalism has became.

[@jmack129]

@@pastasoo they Kochs are as rich as they are bc they’re smart AND amoral. I know that’s hard to grasp for many Conservatives bc it contradicts the “ME, ME, ME AT ALL COSTS” mentality

[@cathywethington5913]

jmack 129, Exactly! They are rich, like many others, because they are willing to do Anything to Anybody to get there and stay there. For me, though, speaking as agnostic, I think selling your soul is shortsighted and stupid

[@gixellia8455]

You just HAVE to love Stephen ❤ He is brilliant ❤

[@marcusymarcos8750]

“Frozen Assets” that was strong. 💪🏻😂

[@OneKindWord]

“Tuber Rideshare” is brilliant!

[@SpaceForceCommander]

Tuber Eats: Is Potato also.

[@Lucius1958]

Twitter: we would gladly exchange the 'edit' button for a 'delete Nazis' button... Oh, btw, that goes for the rest of social media as well.

[@redwaveofketchup7457]

HOLYMOLY, He was on FIRE tonight!!!🤣

[@TheSateef]

that jury scam is awesome, i wish i'd have thought of it.

[@shermanculbertson6244]

I can always count on Stephen’s monologue to make me laugh and smile.

[@AGentlRose]

During the last administration, I used to say that Stephen Colbert was my Xanax

[@nadiashireensiddiqi]

U can’t call N*z*’s, what they r on T Twitter as my repeated A/C blockages have proven.

[@raybin6873]

This one had an extra high content of make me laugh humor! 😄

[@mrsr003]

I’ve learned not to eat or drink while watching!

[@solidsnake6123]

Stephen always cracks me up! Been a fan since 1999

[@Echo81Rumple83]

Ah, the old skool Daily Show...

[@fl00d69]

He was infinitely better on the Colbert Report.

[@aliahnicole434]

Strangers with candy

[@themachine8009]

Been a fan in the last five years. Wished I’d discovered him earlier.

[@SeaJay_Oceans]

7:46 ''Leatherwood'' ? Is that even a real name ?!?

[@hrosensteel]

Jon, loved hearing “Blue Monk” at the end of this segment!❤️❤️❤️ The high priest lives!🎼🎹

[@BarryRowlingsonBaz]

I always forget the name of that tune, despite having learnt the main part on guitar may years ago! Thanks for posting this!

[@sewellanne]

Love the show, but this was definitely among his funniest. Thanks, Stephen I needed that!

[@BoringTroublemaker]

8:05 that guy laughing has absolutely sunburned his pen!s at some point in his life 😂

[@katsong3302]

and if he doesn’t want to treat his Oakland employees fairly, he just moves his factory out of state.

[@110100111000]

@@KimJanet-ze5sq m.kzbin.info/www/bejne/mZXTpJl4qLOSesk

[@Markle2k]

Oakland? You need to work on your Bay Area geography skills. And it is adding manufacturing capacity, not moving it. At least not yet. The first cars out are Ys and Cybertruck. S, 3, X, Y are still made in Fremont.

[@phriedokra6158]

pulled out of one Cali place to go to Tx during the start of Covid remember?

[@cindypomerleau950]

A real American patriot billionaire would build manufacturing capabilities for those chips we are so dependent on China for. Just saying.

[@baxtronx5972]

@@phriedokra6158 Tesla still operates in Cali. You don't remember on purpose.

[@stephanemignot100]

These laid back applause break rhythm, comedy is rhythm!

[@spicymayo8950]

LIVING for the “is potato” saga

[@SpaceForceCommander]

Trump’s future Cognitive Test: “Judge, Prosecutor, Video, Evidence, Documents.”

[@yournanna866]

Fingers crossed

[@istdochallesegal3427]

Let's hope that you should have said "Judge, Prosecutor, Incontrovertible Evidence, Judgment, Sentence"

[@douglasdavis8395]

@@istdochallesegal3427 - Even incarceration joy is tempered by the fact that he has SS guarantees and would not go to a prison. It would be a house arrest. Sad.

[@byteresistor]

Putin, has, me, by, the, balls

[@youtubewatcher2]

@@douglasdavis8395 An ankle bracelet clanking at the omelette bar is a happy thought anyway.

[@kiha6702]

Tuber had me cracking up🤣 I was already saying: "Is potatoe' just before Stephen said it😂😂👍

[@chezmoi42]

It was one of the best spuds yet.

[@mr.mrs.d.7015]

We also need to focus on the fact that 22 states have marriage laws that permit the marrying of children if their parents approve

[@daverain1967]

They played Blue Monk when they went to break...who does that?!? Baptiste is freakin amazing.

[@joshuamiller5942]

You know we are living in a simulation when Twitter winks at their new Chairman Elon Musk.

[@Tao_Tology]

Nah.....those execs really are just douches.

[@danbridges4755]

Him dancing. Omg 🤦‍♂️

[@irabnut]

The bit about Berlin was spot on.

[@samcahoon7078]

That description of the KitKat club’s wardrobe sounds he was taking about a 4year olds dress up closet attire 😅

[@mikeyf7039]

“Handy tip” lol that was really good, even if unintentional

[@WanderingSoul22]

You the man Stephen Colbert!!

[@myjewelry4u]

I’m not even done watching this, but I’m laughing!

[@edwardpossi]

Hilarious from beginning to end, laughed so loud

[@travisc7722]

No matter the world fuckery. Stephen always brings the laughs

[@marydunigan1721]

That's a real talent and so greatly appreciated too!

[@_mytube_]

and potato

[@phriedokra6158]

hope he doesnt burn out ...

[@tma2001]

although the writers didn't realise Elon was making fun of himself with the dancing - its a meme thing - they might want to ask their kids to explain it to them.

[@genevievegenevieve5205]

Stevee and his family are extremely white privileged. I’m sure they laugh a lot, especially at us. 🤡

[@joshuamiller5942]

I have a hunch that Tom Leatherwood's meat is also leathery ;-)

[@zesty9815]

*“Define 'woman'”,* Republicans demanded of a woman nominated to the supreme court. “We need to know,” they explained, “because we want to redefine marriage so it's for 'one man and one woman', and *we've accidentally included children.”* (8:57)

[@dafttool]

Accidentally?! Pfft. They knew what they were doing

[@biggb3921]

Except it wasn't an accident they included children

[@henrybachmann5357]

How can anyone be soo funny! It's incredible... Stephen for President

[@atiredfloridian777]

Every morning I wake up and ask myself 'there's still a Russia' and then I tell myself, no it's not a country. Is potato.

[@cybercat29]

😆😅😂🤣

[@Echo81Rumple83]

Makes me wanna play Portals 2 for some reason; Glados Potato was a very interesting... tagalong spud... to say the least...

[@chrissiek8706]

First week of this war I would woke up, brush my teeth and check if Kyiv is still holding 😶...

[@matthewbrill5588]

Definitely on a roll in this monologue Stephen. Rock on!

[@MrNncon]

what do you mean youth marrage is a good idea for political stupidity lol

[@shirakawanaoya]

This monologue was FIRE

[@marykaybrewster]

“Tuber” hysterical!

[@Norm_MacLeod]

No wonder aliens never come here. Humans are f'n weird.

[@melissaweyrick5311]

🤣😜 Really need this tonight. 👋👋