Russia's War Machine Slowed By Cheap Gear, Expired Rations | Ukraine's Ballerinas Join The Fight

Putin's army is failing in part because Russia's oligarchs embezzled huge sums of money instead of upgrading gear and stocking fresh food rations. Over in Ukraine, members of the country's prestigious ballet companies have put their careers on pause to return home and join the fight against Russia's invaders. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

[@priyaravindran6150]

I’ve lived in Kyiv for the past 8 years with my husband who’s Ukrainian. We managed to leave for western Ukraine with our 3 year old son, and we’re in a relatively safer place for now, but we have friends, family, and colleagues back in Kyiv, and ZP in the south, both active war zones, and the anxiety over their safety, and that of this country’s is constant. I am so proud of my adopted homeland, the people, and my friends and family who have chosen to stay. Their bravery has inspired the world. So many people are donating, many volunteer, and some of us are journalists trying to give a truthful account into what’s happening; we are all playing our parts. Thank you for the relief you have provided, Stephen, during this time. Few people do it like you, respectful, funny, and yet, weirdly heartwarming and inspirational. You have made my husband and I smile for a few minutes every day, through all the lack of sleep and stress. Thank you for talking about Ukraine, and yes, Slava Ukraini and Putin huilo( Putin is a d*ckhead).

[@coryryder9070]

Our Planet Peace People Matter or noone will be missed

[@nycatlady2314]

We wish the best for you

[@ASB412]

God bless you all 💙💛

[@starshake8998]

💗

[@pre9341]

Love to you all. 🙏🏽🌻🇺🇦

[@rgs8970]

Ukraine's bringing out the big guns: moms and ballerinas! Honestly, the pain tolerance of these two groups is off the charts 💪🏻

[@slcpunk2740]

A mom can't take a bullet. She can take 30 bullets, surgically remove them from the wounds, insert them into new cartridges and then put them back into your clip and place it neatly on your freshly made bed for you the next morning. 🤱

[@ericj.wilkinson9317]

As a tattoo artist these two groups have ten times the pain tolerance.

[@debrasmith4247]

And their interchangeable 🌹

[@SeppelSquirrel]

It's been shown through scientific study that woman feel more pain than men. Women are just better than men at handling pain, and pretty much everything else! 💪

[@lambchopramone7903]

Ok, ok, good laugh, but the fact that Colbert is making fun of this whole situation is a bit.. weird. Almost propagandist. But nooooo..

[@danr.5017]

Ballet actually requires a brutal ammount of physical fitness and endurance.

[@RedRoadWoman7]

I'm a grandmother of 70 and even I want to go and help the Ukrainians! 🤨Thanks Late Show and Stephen for making me laugh...it's hard to do so when you see all the death and destruction. 😒

[@andrewlam1742]

I’m in awe of the Ukrainian people. Glory to Ukraine.

[@TroIIingThemSoftly]

✊✊✊

[@Jmatad21]

Each day more people are dying. But you seem happy. Are you from Ukraine?

[@TroIIingThemSoftly]

@Enrique Morales They're outnumbered by about 10-1 and need the world's help to remain supplied? Seriously don't get your question. In any case, they're doing everything you could ever ask them to do and more.

[@TroIIingThemSoftly]

@Enrique Morales History eludes you. Russia has a long history of throwing their troops into a meat grinder. Read a GD book. I'm pro-Ukraine AF, but I also know history.

[@ToneTraveler]

@@TroIIingThemSoftly One fact these binary trolls for Trump and Putin dismiss is that under Stalin millions of Ukrainians were killed. Putin is ex Soviet freak that wants to bring that era back. When the Nazis are seen as liberators during WW2 there might be a problem.

[@zacharywilbur3459]

You would think “is potato” would get old but it gets me every time

[@cameronrobson1218]

Is potato.

[@lion037]

Is alvays potato. . .

[@objuan6]

MrColbert, you have truly risen to the sad occasion. props to your writers. Bravo!

[@DaisyVuchanan]

Hi Stephen, I am from Ukraine 🇺🇦. I think it will be fun for you to know that in all Ukrainian telegram and social media channels we call Russian soldiers “orcs” . And we call Russia the “Mordor”. We all grew up on LOTR books and movies and it was always a big part of our culture.

[@roaam78]

What do you call the alley of angels and the Euromaidan ? Do you celebrate those days ?

[@7popugaeff]

@@roaam78 alley of angels is myth, get over it

[@antimaxik]

​@@roaam78 I have bad news for you. It is a fiction. If you beleive Russians about Ukrainian propaganda, why don't you assume that they has it as well? The difference is that russian television is under control of the goverment... pretty much as almost everything there.

[@MrLeni89]

@@roaam78 The Alley of Angels in Donetsk is a fake, created by russian propaganda.

[@anastasiiapavlova7422]

@@roaam78 not really, only in russian news

[@clarktooncrossing3975]

Wait, you're telling me a tobacco company is still being scummy? Stephen, that's just shocking, SHOCKING I tell you!

[@davidl5452]

To be fair, they are just trying to do their part to kill Russians.

[@Lobstrominous]

Well well considering what we know about the effect of tobacco on the human body they might just be doing their part to defeat Russia. smoke up boys smoke up

[@slcpunk2740]

See above 🤭

[@jacquelinecallejas1390]

I agree that giving the invading army cancer is not a bad thing. Also if they have to run away they'll be out of breath and get caught.

[@clarktooncrossing3975]

Y'know folks, I'd give you all credit for the creative responses about giving the opposing side health defects and all that stuff if not for one fact: tobacco companies are scummy and I refuse to believe that's their reasoning for continuing to sell their productions to Russians.

[@TRE45ON.is.Bat5hit.Crazy.U.S.G]

With all the Russian vehicles that ran out of gas, captured or outright abandoned; it’s looking like Russia is the biggest provider of war material to Ukraine lol😂🤣

[@Asher_Tye]

Yeah, but would they want it, or would it be better to sell for scrap?

[@TroIIingThemSoftly]

🌻🌻🌻

[@LoveDiveChannel]

@@Asher_Tye Maybe could be both, by sorting out which one they can use and which one they can sell

[@jc.1191]

Vlad better watch out, or they'll go all the way to Moscow and take Russia.

[@jc.1191]

@@TroIIingThemSoftly 😁💪

[@georgemullens]

A few years ago I organised a debating conference in Lviv, Ukraine. As I walked through the cobbled streets of the old town I was greeted by beautiful churches, restaurants, cafes and of course, the people. Yet as I walked through, I noticed the portraits of young men who had lost their lives in Donbas and other regions. One of the bars I went to called Pravda is now a molotov cocktail making factory, students I met are now arming themselves and defending their homes with the upmost bravery. I hope that they'll be able to return home in safety. Slava Ukraini

[@judyk2987]

Colbert makes my heart happy in these crazy times! Ukrainian people are fierce warriors- all of them! I wish them victory 🙏🏽💪🏽

[@Unmistakable0Me]

Don’t ever mess with the dancers…the highest pain tolerance known to man, Extraordinary reflexes, ability to survive on little to no food, disturbing endurance…team them up with the gymnasts and all problems solved xxxx

[@OldFellaDave]

Don't forget all the Boxing World Champions ;) Slava Ukraine! :)

[@marialindell9874]

As an ex-ballet dancer, we don't have the highest pain tolerance known to man. (I know that this is a joke, but anyways)

[@lennellwaltonboxer]

Once you go on point you must.

[@3dsmaxrocks699]

You'll never guess what happened.....I messed with one of those dancers. Dammit....if I would've only read your stupid comment first. 👌

[@mnomadvfx]

Extraordinary reflexes do you little good when you go from a skin tight leotard to a full outfit of soldier gear. Good ears, eyes and a steady handed aim will serve you much better.

[@ITentrepreneur]

Kazakhstan stands with Ukraine! Glory to Ukraine - Slava Ukraine

[@TroIIingThemSoftly]

Slava Ukraini!

[@whimsysmith2480]

Fan of Kazakhstan, standing with Kazahkstan to support the awesome country that is Ukraine. If USA is the “land of the brave” I think we can all agree that Ukraine is proving to be “land of the bravest”. Slava Ukraine!

[@cedriceric9730]

✌️✌️

[@joannbowden6220]

#ISTANDWITHUKRAINE!!! 🙏🇺🇲🇺🇦🙏

[@TroIIingThemSoftly]

@@whimsysmith2480 No disputing the Ukrainians' bravery. As an American, I applaud their courage and spirit.

[@ericl447]

If there is anything we need in this world, it is comedy. I love this guy.

[@doslover]

I'm somehow not surprised that a cigarette company is one of the few that just straight-up said 'we value money above everything else'

[@iSmartMan1]

I will never get tired of the punchline "is potato". I knew it was coming and it still made me laugh.

[@MichelleIbarraMHAEdD]

Need a tshirt.... 😅🤣

[@simgem]

Same! I want a shirt!

[@MichelleIbarraMHAEdD]

@@simgem lol, I totally wrote that before I heard Stephen's whole monolog

[@indigowolf556]

Me too. I think that might be the new thing to say is potato. 😆😆😆😆

[@juliansenfr]

'Stefan' & team have to get on it, with all proceeds heading to support the Ukrainian people

[@rparl]

"Is potato." Priceless!

[@eugenekhoo990]

“Its never a good sign when your dinner is old enough to enlist.” Wow that’s a good one

[@Yve55]

When Steven Colbert speaks, I listen. I also laugh my ass off! Thanks Steven🙋‍♀️💞 Glory to Ukraine 💛🛡🇺🇦🛡💙

[@boiledcrap]

"Did you fill the tank?" "Yes! Plenty of shells!" **Tank sputters to a halt** "Oh! You meant the tank's *tank* ."

[@PsyphaX09]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@jagotiberan2181]

Underrated comment 😂

[@winterblitzen09]

"YOU DIDN'T GET GAS???"

[@jorgegonzalez-larramendi5491]

those soviruss tanks seem to explode real nice

[@abulayla1000]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/jKnciayoatGshs0 .Russia dumps master/ visa for Chinese union cards.....this is the end of Caucasian hegemony. LOL

[@ChrisAlbertH47]

The funny thing about deploying a big army of 150 thousand soldiers, is that you have to feed them and equip them. A pretty expensive investment that Russia doesn't really have the means to sustain.

[@sleepysera]

Well, as he said - it's not like Russia didn't invest in their military. A good chunk of that money just never made it that far because corruption 🤷‍♀️

[@belyayevsfox4753]

Logistics 101

[@dinoflagella4185]

Me and one of my friends said the same thing. Ukraine may eventually fall, but as long they keep fighting the Russian can’t win the long fight.

[@BlairTindall86]

"Amateurs talk about tactics, but professionals study logistics." - Gen. Robert H. Barrow, USMC

[@grmpEqweer]

...Hmm. I'd bet they'll surrender for food at some point. Well, more of them. Maybe set up a grill, for the smell.

[@animatorgeek]

It's heartbreaking to see a ballet dancer leaving his life in the arts to pick up a gun. I applaud him for taking up the challenge, but it shows how terrible this situation is.

[@joshp1820]

Well, he didn't have a choice. Males between ages 18-60 were conscripted for the war effort, which is an unfortunate reality.

[@Mary-qg6mh]

@@joshp1820 no, actually. At the moment, only people of military vacancies and those with some real war experience so to say ought to join army. All others are volunteers.

[@margaretpeabody243]

As far as the bleak headlines of today, many late night hosts provide us comic relief while Stephen gets us routing for the underdog and cheering for justice!!

[@shermanculbertson6191]

I will continue to pray for the incredibly brave and amazing people of Ukraine. All of them are truly inspirations to the world.

[@Marijuanifornia]

Be inspired enough to fight against Republicans the way that Ukrainians fight against the Russians, because Republicans are far more dangerous than Russians.

[@PreacherAtArrakeen]

Send money. Prayers are not going to stop Putin.

[@bjoardar]

Prayers are useless. If you truly wish to do something for the people of Ukraine, consider donating some money and / or help to fight back against the propaganda trolls in the comment sections of *EVERY(!)* discussion about Ukraine, no matter what forum.

[@JGM0JGM]

@@shermanculbertson6191 Lol, yes they are. Unless you have undeniable proof (and I don't mean coincidences)... Stop living in the superstitious dark ages and join us in the 21 century.

[@bjoardar]

@@shermanculbertson6191 That's an opinion. Or are you telling me that there are no mass shootings in the U.S. anymore? If anything, that has got to be the *MOST PRAYED FOR* thing that people have ever prayed for. Praying doesn't work. It's useless.

[@embroiledalive5232]

Thanks, Colbert, for cheerleading the Ukrainians. We all want to do it, and you do it better than anyone, 👍

[@WorldStarHipHopNews]

Never, ever, mess with a Ukrainian! They're all tough and built for action, from 80 year old grannies to 8 month old babies, when it comes to the fight, they've pit-bull spirit!

[@astaraoneill9166]

God, I love this man the show’s team of amazing writers!!

[@gamepapa1211]

That Russian battleship on Snake Island getting sunk? That's the trailer for the future movie adaptation right there!

[@nobodyknows3180]

To be fair, it was more like a Coast Guard frigate or something akin to that

[@bluemoon9530]

:)

[@Zaluskowsky]

i want that movie to happen. Red Alert 3 anyone ?

[@jcorbett9620]

IF it is true, it's the most heartwarming story of revenge for the 13 Sailors on Snake Island. I only say "if", because in war, losses are hard to verify and propaganda clouds the truth. I still hope it's true though, along with the rest of the Evil Empires losses.

[@caronstout354]

Using the actually film footage and audio!

[@GigiTupas]

Glimmers of hope. 💕 Hoping against hope, the Ukrainians will prevail against Putin’s Russia. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@amarisfrede2]

"It did go down on itself." 🤣🤣🤣

[@karebear9773]

Standing with Ukraine 🇺🇦

[@TroIIingThemSoftly]

Slava Ukraini!

[@Opus313]

"Suck it Vlad!"

[@lorianngrilley-jamroz7631]

I ABSOLUTELY NEED MY STEPHEN COLBERT NEWS!!!☆☆☆ 100% TY!

[@Dana-kb5mk]

Stephen's dancing gets me every time, Love him so much ❤️😂

[@Tadicuslegion78]

Vladimir Putin: *Not being told the truth about how terrible his army is doing due to incompetence, corruption, and fear by his subordinates* Tsar Nicholas II: First time?

[@kittys.2870]

Did NOT end well for Nick

[@acquasanta6676]

Russians have a record of not keeping machines serviced . Seals go bad , bearing are contaminated and fail . No just war machine tractor and combine ,grain trucks and more have broken with no spare parts and whole year harvests have been lost through " Central Planning " or top down management in the Soviet years . Putin not doing well maybe he's gonna move to Siberia ??

[@thegunslinger1363]

Let's hope he ends up like Tsar Nicholas too.

[@Turbojonny5]

History repeats itself

[@suryamanakp5521]

Just hope he dont use chemichal bio weapon

[@NoSuffix]

Really admire Ukrainians' fighting spirit when facing a brutal enemy. Such a nation can never be defeated, and will only stand up stronger than before. Slava Ukraini!

[@luckypeacock]

"I really admire Ukraine fighting on the ground, choosing to sacrifice their people, backed by our resources and intelligence." It's a hybrid war, man... is not just the Ukrainians that are fighting the Russians. Media distorts the facts... U.S. advanced intelligence and NATO support (everything but a direct provocation to Russia) counts more than anything else. Also, the democracy that is Ukraine, it's army is based on conscripts, which mean well prepared soldiers (compared to Iraq, Syria, Afghanistan and so on). If you want to know how capable the Russian army is, look at the situation in Syria in 2015, when U.S. almost overthrew Assad, but then, the Russians got involved and Assad is still in power... nobody will mention this, but it's verifiable from thousands of sources.

[@marialindell9874]

299

[@gamepapa1211]

@@GiggleGrass Thank you for supporting Zelenskyy. Slava Ukraini 🇺🇦

[@g.d.graham2446]

#StandForUkraine🇺🇦

[@mnomadvfx]

@Banh Mi Literally the only point of NATO is a non aggression pact to defend its member nations. If Putin was afraid of Ukraine joining NATO it's because war with the other member states would be assured the moment the first shell was fired. aka Putin wants Ukraine, not a war with NATO's members.

[@carelesswhisper1180]

True Ukrainian spirit, President staying, fighting and supporting it’s people! Amazingly united spirit.

[@Sean.Vosler]

The ship they downed was the latest state of the art ship in their navy… 1 of 5, the other 4 aren’t even completed

[@gia9742]

I feel guilty even smiling at these jokes.... Glory to Ukraine 💙💛🇺🇦

[@ibinshkamed1586]

Slava Ukrayini ! Slava Heroyam !

[@jojokimbo]

@@craigkidd9524 do YOU know?

[@stephenwright8824]

@@515coldfire 2016. Donald Trump wins the election via a glitch in the Electoral College. Calls it rigged. 62+ million individuals voted for him. That's how they could _support that._ Too many Americans _already did._

[@sabrinafehl7861]

Praying for Ukraine be brave strong in victorious

[@leannbridwell1853]

Love the shoulder wriggle! Great song rendition!

[@whitedove2352]

Your coverage of the Ukraine crisis is the most brilliant comedy writing ever!!!

[@caseyjl949]

Let's go Ukraine!!!!💙💛🇺🇦

[@willfiggins5485]

Yeah that's true though Ukraine but that guy with the suit he's a.. .... It's going to be expensive to fart.

[@AldoRyan]

Incredible how that Ukrainian sailor from Snake Island called it! GO UKRAINE!!!

[@lilg7195]

This should be send to every Ukrainian out there fighting in this war........ 🥰

[@jimharper5373]

A moment of silence for the hundreds of millions of US and Russian citizens living thru a financial crisis spiral that is our obligated burden because sanctioning millions into poverty isn't a war crime.

[@laalaa99stl]

I would totally buy "Is potato" merch if proceeds go to helping Ukraine. Your move, Shasta!

[@gregbors8364]

I’m pretty sure Jones Soda beat them to it

[@dianedenham5259]

Trick or Treat .... is potato 🙁

[@ctomsky]

Was just about to come here to say this.

[@Echo81Rumple83]

It's gotta be better than an old-fashioned Charlie Brown rock (provided the other Russian soldiers only have scissors and not paper for roshambo).

[@ellei56847]

Fantastic comment, 100%>

[@tereziamarkova2822]

You're laughing, but ballerinas are used to extremely tough physical regime. These guys and gals have unbelievable stamina. They may wear poncey costumes on stage, but they are definitely badasses, and their preserverance and self-discipline has to count for something on the battlefield.

[@grmpEqweer]

Yup. Solid muscle.

[@tereziamarkova2822]

@Proper If you want to make fun of them, could you please at least be, you know. Funny?!

[@gabem3568]

No laughing here. These people are definitely in shape

[@georgiapuppie]

I've seen their feet, and they still walk on them!

[@nonelost1]

@Proper Perhaps they can “fire and forget” javelins in between twirls .😎

[@annasndl]

love you Stephen! thank you for supporting Ukraine!

[@lealta1481]

Everytime they talk about Russian corruption I'm reminded that my country(USA) sadly isn't that much better. We definitely have things to work on. For one banning elected house members from the stock market and strictly regulating lobbying.

[@kateryna5284]

Everyone has something to work on, but believe me no one is capable of stealing so much as they do in Russia. Soviet Union regime did terrible things to mentality and governance. That’s what we in Ukraine try to overcome for so many years

[@user-vw5dh6qj4x]

@@kateryna5284 украинка говорит о коррупции в России)))))))))))

[@kateryna5284]

@@user-vw5dh6qj4x Имею право) Отец долго служил в армии РФ и не по наслышке знает, как танковые дивизии с хранения танки снимали😃

[@philoctetes_wordsworth]

Perhaps the Brutus to his Caesar will be known soon!👍🏻💯👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗💗💗💗💋 Glory to Ukraine! Glory to the Heroes!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦💗💗💗💗💋🇺🇸

[@DJJamofThaDose]

Prayers for power and continuous Strength to the phenomenal Ukrainian people who are fighting a mad man's war. Someone reserved Putin a padded room.👊🏼✌🏼

[@DJJamofThaDose]

This kzbin.info/www/bejne/g3mum3l-a8mebLs is what happened

[@chrissiek8706]

Padded room? A bullet is the best I can offer. Padded rooms where reserved for "mild" dictators in CCCP

[@vandal280]

Stephen, you're the silliest and I'm here for it. Nice leap 🤭

[@EriqKoontz]

“Yay… is potato.” 😆😂😂🤣 PERFECT!!

[@batgurrl]

I’m in awe of the Ukrainian people’s bravery and strength and resilience. Stephen, your sense of humor remains sharp despite these horrible times.Colonel Sanders and Captain Crunch put a big smile on my face

[@sharonwestmd5153]

Q

[@coryryder9070]

this is the way- JediKnightRyder/ DarkKnightRyder

[@ProjectFlashlight612]

Mmmm, 20 year old chicken dinner

[@vercoda9997]

@George Morenstein I think it's time to go back to your usual inane Biden-bashing devoid of facts or reality, George. Run along.

[@Reggie-bunsofsteel-Mcduff1001]

No accounting for taste !!.

[@rebeccamaracle2878]

You know things are crazy when Nestle is going to be on the right side of history.

[@bast713]

Right?!?

[@thomash.7411]

Is there any reporting at all on the status of the fighting in eastern Ukraine? According to my sources, about 60,000 Ukrainian soldiers are completely surrounded by the Russian army and pro-Russian separatists in the east of the country. Mariupol is completely surrounded and is being bombed and attacked with missiles. In southeastern and eastern Ukraine, Russian forces have made significant gains in terrain. Which bassically means, Russian forces have reached the edges of the city of Dnipro. Sitting as it does on the elbow of the Dnepr River, which would indicate that Russia is now in practical occupation of pretty much all of Trans Dnepr Ukraine

[@blackeyedsusan727]

Truth!

[@tubularap]

2:50 - Stephen after some dancing: "Oo, I got some reciprocal action back here." 🙂

[@richardmercer2337]

Professional ballet dancers ARE incredibily strong. Don't mess with them!

[@rickw9169]

I remember the school yard bully who picked on the nerd with glasses. The bully was a short stout guy and the nerd, long and lanky. It finally came down to the fight behind the schoolyard and it made my heart soar to watch the nerd punch the bully in the nose several times. It seems that he must have had some boxing lessons along the line and understood the advantage of reach. The fight ended with the bully crawling away with a pretty bloody face. Ukraine vs. Russia reminded of that day so very long ago.

[@frglee]

As a kid I learnt that with violent bullies, even if you are outmatched in a fight, you must hit back as hard as you can. It may result in more punches in that fight, but it'll make the bully think twice about doing it again. If you do nothing to defend yourself, expect to get beaten again and again.

[@Turbojonny5]

@@frglee Well said

[@wr38621]

I remember when the nerdy geek kid got in a fight with the school bully and ended up with a broken nose, dislocated arm and rolled down the school yard hill in a trash can

[@Babesinthewood97]

Glory to the nerds

[@Babesinthewood97]

@@frglee that’s true. I absolutely agree. Because bullies see kindness as weakness. They don’t understand any other language than their own ways. They only stop when they’re forced to stop. So hit back hard. Yes, every corduroy clad mother and father will tell you that you must never defend yourself because the victim must always have the highest moral. Well, it’s only fancy speak from unempathetic people who themselves are not being attacked. No one is going to protect you. So fight back. If they allow the bully’s violence, they shall endure yours too.

[@cpmf2112]

Vlad the Impotent 😂

[@FredRedFrred]

Being a brilliant satirical writer, Colbert trains his staff. Notice after the Yoda bit byte he remarks "it finally works!" --referencing previous failed attempts he shot down. THAT marks him as being on par with Oscar Wilde, and even exceeding the mark altogether as a team builder.

[@qibriti3220]

was that whoop-assing supposed to be ass-whooping? lmao! love this show!

[@erictaus8579]

❤ how Stephen "puts away" his imaginary props! That's commitment to the art of improv comedy! ❤

[@sharonhunt2267]

I love hearing stories about the courage and successes of Ukrainians. It gives me hope.

[@marybee1594]

Those are just stories, as everything on the west just bla bla propaganda, and we are winning in our media, doesen't matter what is on the ground

[@jacek-]

@@marybee1594 on the ground there are lots of well-done russian corpses. Welcome to Ukraine, we hope that you're enjoying your tour

[@antimaxik]

Here are some stories: 1. Some ukrainian grandma that has fed the invadors with poisoned pirozhki's (mini-pies, if you wish). 8 of them have died. 2. Another granny, from other village, was spying the russian troops, tanks, artillery systems that were hiding nerby in her village, than she was walking to her home, called her son and he was passing the information to the Ukrainian militaries. It helped to buy some time for the defenders on that area for a few days. However, russians eventually cought hew and blew up her house with this brave granny inside... 3. Another story about the businessman that lived on the countryside, he evacuated first days but one day he saw a russian MSLR at his yard on the security cam futage, he called to the militaries, passed the coordinates of his house with video futages, and said "do your best and don't mind the house". Soon after that artillery forces took care of it. And it is only happened first few weeks. I guess some day there will be a book, full of such stories.

[@IAmSuzyQ]

Ukraine's ballerinas aren't just killin' it on the stage anymore! 🇺🇦🩰💪

[@Tadicuslegion78]

They went from performing the Magic Flute to the Magic Rocket Launcher

[@grmpEqweer]

And, plié, and FIRE! three, four...

[@andrimufid2195]

they all went John Wick this time

[@TB--sp9wy]

Every monologue, I await with baited breath for "Is potato", and I have not been disappointed.

[@taritabonita22]

The best of the best Steven Colbert.

[@VianneyCreates]

I tune in to hear "Is potato" every night! LOL!! Also, Amb. Yovanovitch is a phenomenal person. Glad she's on tonight.

[@cameronrobson1218]

Is potato.

[@xGUANdeLUPEx]

The running 'is potato' joke is so great.

[@cameronrobson1218]

Is potato.

[@lion037]

Is alvays potato. . .

[@florencedelvalle8145]

Jon hyping up Steven to do ballet moves is too funny. Get it , get it!

[@FlowIrec]

The "Is potato" joke is slowly breaking me down🤣🤣🤣

[@gregbors8364]

“Putin’s a genius!” - our esteemed former President who-shall-not-be-named

[@MD77SA]

I don't guess him to be of even average intelligence, much less genius. Same for the one who called him a smart and savvy genius, and who knows him very very well.

[@Omikoshi78]

Takes one stable genius to spot another.

[@patamakka08]

Another one

[@dixie0625]

Yeah, but we must also remember "She's got the best body!" with regard to his daughter Ivanka, who sat on his lap as an adult. He has a habit of making grotesque judgments.

[@MD77SA]

You remember the news video a couple of years ago showing Trump calling the Ukraine government criminals? He said the people of Ukraine were nice, but the government was criminal. See how easily Putin beguiled him? Yet, Republicans said war would never have happened with Trump. How can Republicans reconcile their statement with the facts of Trump praising Putin and calling the Ukrainian government criminals??

[@Asher_Tye]

Putin probably shouldn't have let his buddies buy all those mega-yachts...

[@grmpEqweer]

They were just following the leader, he has billions hidden all over the world. I think he knew something, but the thing is, if he kept too tight a rein on them, he would have had an "accident." Dictators keep power by keeping their key supporters in line, and that takes lots of money. And terror. Greed and terror, stuck together.

[@natalyk9783]

If he didn’t, you would not know Russia as totalitarian country. It started by allowing corruption and stolen business, only this could make vertical power for Putin. The fact that US, Europe was ok working with them until this time is disgusting, because if they made very personal sanctions earlier nothing would happen

[@florencedelvalle8145]

Gloria Estefan right now writing the lyrics to Tank Conga Line😆😆😂😂

[@cageybee7221]

2:05 as someone born in 2002 this effected me more than it should

[@whocares2087.1]

People didn't give them a chance, but Ukraine is winning!

[@Dragonaut]

Don't be mistaken, there is no winning in war. Lets pray this defense put up by this brave country and NATO being united to sanction Russia will end this soon.

[@detectivemarkseven]

Its only a matter of time.

[@MikMoen]

They're not winning anything. All they can do is bog the enemy down as long as they can.

[@make2285]

Wow you guys are seriously delusional. Winning? Russia isn’t even using 50 % it’s military strength , this numbers you just heard are from the Ukrainian government which means there 100 % lies , which is Normal to try and boost moral. 10 % the Donbas region alone is more than that forget Crimea much more . I hope for the best to , I’m not pro Russia I’m a Canadian who sees the facts and do my own personal research . You can’t just watch one media source because you know it’s biased . Ukraine will be takin over within a couple weeks which would make it a month long invasion . For the size of Ukraine I don’t see that as a defeat . I hope for the best for the Ukrainians , this next week will be horrible when the capital city invasion starts .

[@MichaelKing015]

No look at the news right now

[@danieltaylor9459]

Ukraine has shown an outrageous amount of strength, resilience, and pride. It’s genuinely inspiring. So thank you-to every Ukrainian who may read this. You’ve inspired the ENTIRE world

[@bluemoon9530]

Agreed! Bravo Ukraine! 💙 🙋

[@paulmcgrory5165]

Speak for yourself not the world. So you are inspired by fighting to the last Ukrainian. This war must end now with the inevitable surrender. So impressive you are fighting to the last Ukrainian from your keyboard.

[@davidserlin8097]

@@paulmcgrory5165 the world is with Ukraine and the world despises Putin and everything he stands for.

[@religionisapoison2413]

@@bluemoon9530 no no, SLAVA ukraine

[@paulmcgrory5165]

@@davidserlin8097 So you speak for China, India, Africa and SE Asia? Impressive. Oh i forgot you are a white westerner male so you dominate the world right? Including 3.4 billion people you have never spoken to or seen lol

[@tylerboyce4081]

I'm glad that Yoda has spoken publicly against the Russian invasion of Ukraine. 🇺🇦💚

[@babettehogan]

I would have loved to have seen the Beauxbaton entry into the Grand Hall of Hogwarts as the reference to the Ukraine ballerinas. Fight for freedom with grace and courage, dear Ukrainians.Our hearts and prayers are with you..

[@IAmSuzyQ]

🇺🇦💪Ukraine is showing the world what TRUE PATRIOTISM looks like! (and it's not hugging a flag on a stage, like someone we know.🙄)

[@marshamariner7897]

Somehow I can't c bunker boy doing ONE IOTA of what Zelinsky 🇺🇸🌍🌎🌹💖 is doing.... he'd b whining 'but my bone spurs 🤣😹

[@hawkeye5955]

The sentient Dumpster fire sexually assaulted the flag.

[@TroIIingThemSoftly]

@@hawkeye5955 On more than one occasion!

[@TroIIingThemSoftly]

@@marshamariner7897 the orange doofus and putin DREAM of being the leader Zelensky is.

[@jonathans1759]

Call a full UN assembly and demand PUTIN call an immediate ceasefire/begin withdrawal or have a vote to remove Russia from its position as a permanent seat on the UN security council.

[@neogenmatrix6162]

Unfortunately the problem with that is that the UN security council has to be invoked. And the problem with that is Russia sits at the head of the UN security council. They can veto any vote even if it's 100 to 1.

[@marshamariner7897]

Ya. It makes real sense that Russia is in charge of stopping Russia....nothing can go wrong!!😵😵😵🌍🌎😵😵🇺🇸

[@trix10101]

The issue here is that requires the security council and that needs a majority vote and any country can just veto it. Russia is on the security council is currently the president of the council. The good news is there working on a way around it. Saying that USSR is the member and sense russia isn't the Ussr anymore they should be removed

[@willdejong7763]

@@neogenmatrix6162 Why not dissolve the UN? The headquarters is here. Most of the world is united on this. Replace it with the "Union of Civilized Nations" composed of just the countries that recently voted against Russia. Put up a rebranding sign saying "New and Improved", and "Now with Less Autocrats".

[@davidlundquist1979]

@@willdejong7763 Sounds like the Simpsons episode where Homer became the leader of the Stonecutters, so they reorganized themselves into the "No Homers Club". That said, it might not be the worst idea.

[@ChanningWearsSunscreen]

SHIMEY FOR US STEPHEN COLBERT

[@deborahbarbour2241]

Love how Colbert always puts away his props. 😄

[@Twitchy_McExorcism]

Turns out there are consequences to appointing dumb, greedy yes-men to important government positions. Hope someone tells the American voters that.

[@jumperpoint]

Remember the guy who only appointed billionaires to high government office? The same guy who suggested lowering the qualifications for all jobs so you didn't have to worry about getting a degree? You'd think Putin would have learned from him what not to do.

[@thomash.7411]

Is there any reporting at all on the status of the fighting in eastern Ukraine? According to my sources, about 60,000 Ukrainian soldiers are completely surrounded by the Russian army and pro-Russian separatists in the east of the country. Mariupol is completely surrounded and is being bombed and attacked with missiles. In southeastern and eastern Ukraine, Russian forces have made significant gains in terrain. Which bassically means, Russian forces have reached the edges of the city of Dnipro. Sitting as it does on the elbow of the Dnepr River, which would indicate that Russia is now in practical occupation of pretty much all of Trans Dnepr Ukraine

[@metalheadjakob]

Could you post those sources.

[@blackeyedsusan727]

A) Americans don't even have a guaranteed right to the vote, so it wouldn't matter much; B) Of those who can vote with less interference, many wouldn't believe it anyway because "Amurica!"

[@danieldestree3235]

if you guys make a "its Potato" T-shirt to raise funds for my home country of Ukraine ( i'm adopted) i bet all of us will buy it. thank you so much for the support

[@cameronrobson1218]

Is potato.

[@arfajob4246]

@@cameronrobson1218 Genuine "Is", chinese knockoff, "it's". It's bound to happen lol. Blessings, keep the faith.

[@jbrand8188]

The flipping off Yoda is the best! I want that as my wallpaper.

[@gbjwal1]

All those downing of planes and ships yet no film of it? 👍🏻

[@heiyuall]

I needed the laugh I got hearing the GFY Russian Warship was sunk. Thank you for giving us that news.

[@joeshaji4603]

My respects are to Ukrainian President, soldiers and civilian. May Angels guide you and protect you Ukrainian people. Slava Ukraini

[@ms.q7445]

Amen

[@bloger12prokofief15]

You know nothing about ukrainian situation as all brainwahed people in West.

[@antihypocrisy8978]

May angels protect those from US invasions too. Hundreds of thousands of civilians murdered in the Middle East.

[@user-vw5dh6qj4x]

Glory to Ukraine is the slogan of the Ukrainian Nazis during the 2nd World War.Are you a Nazi?

[@deborahkogan8742]

So good! Thank you!

[@andrewkohler9730]

The Nutcracker reference made me so very happy!

[@wordforger]

When I heard what a hard time the Russian military was having, my first thought was: "Ah. So maybe having corrupt oligarchs in charge of everything is BAD. Because there's nothing to stop them from taking the cash that should have gone to equipment."

[@grmpEqweer]

Authoritarian governments tend to be corrupt like that.

[@elenachristian9860]

This is also what happens when you de regulate everything.

[@teresastolarskyj]

Y'know, or to the people, doing actual jobs that are worth something.

[@orlock20]

That explains why one destroyed vehicle had egg cartons in a bag that was suppose to have explosive armor.

[@paulgibbon5991]

Just imagine what Russia could have been if the end of the USSR had been better managed to prevent oligarchs hoovering up so much wealth, and they had resisted the siren call of the strongman who promised to Make X Great Again.

[@gamepapa1211]

Must be pretty embarrassing for Putin to have his shock-and-awe techniques ended up with his battleships sunk.

[@Speedster___]

Nah tanks destroyed

[@gamepapa1211]

@@Speedster___ that's even more embarrassing when you consider that tanks are supposed to be really, really hard to destroy!

[@neogenmatrix6162]

@@Speedster___ both, yatzee

[@hawkeye5955]

Would be even more embarrassing if the Russian tanks were taken out by the Ukrainian Navy.

[@julesmasseffectmusic]

I immediately thought good aim bots. Then felt sad because that is what the aim bot code is being used for.

[@blueheron5232]

Bravo!!!

[@mrgooseboy1]

Kitkat, Smarties, and Aero are all very popular in Canada.

[@PobortzaPl]

Okay but does Stephen, a well known fan of Tolkien, heard that Russians themselves call their country "Mordor" and because of that Ukrainians call enemy soldiers "orcs"?

[@pechaa]

I hadn’t heard that. Thanks for sharing. I hope someone near Stephen’s ear sees your comment.

[@chrissiek8706]

Oh, i did not know that they themselves call it that, i thought it's just a joke in Lithuania 😅

[@PobortzaPl]

@@chrissiek8706 Mordor is used by Russians. Orcs is used by Ukrainians to describe forces that attack them.

[@luisaymerich9675]

As it stands the Russians look more like dorks.

[@user-vw5dh6qj4x]

None of the Russians calls their country Mordor.You're a liar and a fool.

[@willdejong7763]

Ukraine is proving that they are also the land of the free and home of the brave! Respect!

[@user-vw5dh6qj4x]

You're ridiculous.

[@john_doe_not_found]

7:31 I can always count on Yoda for words of wisdom.

[@wallacerose8663]

5:14, Stephen puts his invisible phone in his jacket pocket. Brilliant 😂