Trump Just Wants To Be On Primetime TV

[@abdimohamud5252]

Stephen Colbert is just......... AWESOME!!!

[@elizabethfitzsimmons6495]

Abdi Mohamud ss

[@JesseStu]

I watched Sean Hannity's broadcast from last night. Many of the facts and statistics the president shared tonight were on Sean's show last night. Trump depends on Sean like Melania depends on Michelle for speeches 🤣.

[@beckybowen196]

Brutal but true!

[@pietrojenkins6901]

So Trump got bullied yet again by Fox News presenters?

[@oc1144]

I salute you for sitting through a Sean Hannity broadcast

[@IngridAsInBergman]

😂😂😂😭

[@mirolund5331]

Inanity

[@errgag3580]

Wanna see how important border security is to Trump, and not just the "wall" so he put his name on it? Tell him he can have 25 Billion for the wall as long as it's named after Barrack Obama.

[@devildoll641]

😂 Genius!

[@barbaralindhjem2488]

Wow, I'm having fun with that idea.

[@johnnyc4738]

He would probably have a stroke, at the offer. Good plan.

[@TheSoulCourier]

Congratulations! You just won the Internet today!👏🏻😂

[@johnnyc4738]

@Dana Chapin Really?

[@theMosen]

"...but Lincoln was also able to close an umbella" Hahahahahahahahaha oh god we're all gonna die.

[@alyssal3611]

Why did I hear this in Stephen's voice? XD

[@notsure1969]

How did we go from the iconic "Tear down this wall?" to this bullshit in 30 years?

[@retnavybrat]

Different wall for a different reason.

[@ralfrecknagel4760]

Love and Respect for Ronald and Nancy Reagan

[@JoshuaSmith-fq8xy]

ThatOtherKid forgot to use his magnum condom for his big dong😂

[@Felsenkeks]

@@retnavybrat I mean, ok, that one back then was built by evil idiots to keep people in. Now an evil idiot wants to build one to keep people out.... otherwise, still the same loathsome idea

[@tecnicstudios]

@@retnavybrat wasnt it to keep the west out of the east side of Berlin and keep people in the east side in?

[@mroceans8336]

Hopefully his criminal trial gets record ratings 📈

[@couragekarnga8735]

Oh, billions would watch that!

[@thepackable]

The best ratings to ever rate.

[@thepackable]

@@couragekarnga8735 Every night before sleep with a shot of fireball. His tear's and the tears of his deplorable's will be delicious chick'n soup for the soul.

[@derekholdt747]

No filming allowed in federal court. But maybe the execution will be public.

[@thepackable]

@@derekholdt747 Ah, But Trump and his admin have broken a lot of precedents during his infection of the whitehouse. Perhaps there will be an exception.

[@NewMessage]

"17 thousand people with criminal histories.." Were most of those going INTO Mexico during... say... Spring Break?

[@thelovelymissmonica1938]

Message! 💡

[@ASMRyouVEGANyet]

Cancun baby! 🤣😂🤣 🌮🌯🏖️🏝️🍺🍻🥂🍸🍷🍹🍾💃🕺👉👌🤢🤮 Haha that was fun

[@onixtv4034]

Mew Message you're everywhere.

[@ghostofwaterspast3183]

Thank you Stephen for allowing me to laugh about things that make me want to cry.

[@joeyoung1498]

@lolzpa lulzpa Creep.

[@lillianwright3668]

Trump started lying when he learned to talk!

[@ghostofwaterspast3183]

lolzpa lulzpa your life purpose must be a sad reality to swallow.

[@muddy1596]

ma'am I hate to break it to you but your whole world is going to change

[@ghostofwaterspast3183]

ThE cUrtAin remOVed!!! I’m aware. It’s always changing. Nothing surprises me anymore.

[@duaneology589]

I love the way Chuck looks over at Nancy when Trump is boasting "I will take credit for the shutdown!". It's a quick glance but it says loud and clear "Can you believe this idiot just said that?". And then Nancy wisely shuts down the conversation before Trump can back-peddle and hedge. Trump is way out of his league.

[@robinjackson7882]

We’ve got quite a few in Congress.

[@judy8809]

I can't believe Fox called sanders out.That was a fox anchor right??WOW WOW!!

[@1224chrisng]

like, Chris Wallace is like one of the only few decent ones left

[@theodorej3954]

Yeah they have 3 real news anchors, and then a full roster of goof ball yelling trumpians

[@jamesburgess2k]

News networks should've prerecorded it, cut out any lies and false statements and only show things backed by actual facts. That way, it would just be a 4 second commercial.

[@jamesburgess2k]

@Vanadyan probably just a 4 second compilation of him breathing after every phrase

[@casterfokyrell3702]

Wow brilliant

[@thepackable]

@@jamesburgess2k No if you include the breathing that adds 3-8 seconds doesn't it?

[@user9b2]

They should re-run it with synchronized fact check bell going off every times he lies.

[@cynthwise6982]

Agree but there wouldn't be much left...LOL...Loaded with LIES

[@zeBorat420]

I gave up on listening to trump speak. Anecdotes from Stephen and comedians like him cover the gist of it

[@michalperach984]

I think it's dangerous. You should get news from more sources. I love Colbert but it's not the news.

[@ellamone9998]

I watch bits of news here and there but find comedy shows show clips of Trump proving the lies said. News report and then have comments or their panels tell you. Here you see the bare bones in a lighthearted way. Hard to explain hahaha. Oh I like it :)

[@bjsmith6095]

@@michalperach984 I think it's dangerous listening to Trump's constant lies and risk becoming brainwashed.

[@couragekarnga8735]

Why would anyone in their right mind want to watch Lord Marmalade speak?

[@zeBorat420]

Michal Perach I listen to npr two hours a day. I said I don’t listen to the president speak

[@happydeamon]

This is disgusting, comparing the president of united states with a golden retriever... What did golden retrievers ever do to you!?!?!

[@luminatron]

I guess because Trump is a Golden Shower Retriever technically?

[@tripwire4727]

Pop on the rug, I suppose...

[@kyleking3839]

That took a different turn then I expected

[@scottrowe533]

“By the time of this broadcast, we’re either in a brand new state of emergency or the same one we’ve been in since November of 2016." Hah! True that. 🙄

[@verawallace9055]

That's the truth, Stephen Colbert is fierce, give him the Emmy

[@couragekarnga8735]

Stephen is king!

[@petermcgill1315]

@@couragekarnga8735 never as good as The Colbert Report, but yeah.

[@truethat774]

Ha! I actually got a license plate for my car that says truethat because of this craze nonsense!

[@hawkeye5955]

Not even George W. Bush's Directive 51 can save the country from Donald Dumpsterfire.

[@theadrenalizedartist6843]

Wait, Fox News corrected Huckebee-Sanders...wow!

[@Jet-rx1ji]

The Adrenalized Artist they’re getting ready for the idiot to be impeached. Don’t think Murdoch isn’t playing his cards. They’ll turn on the dotard eventually. Rupert thinks 45 is a “f$&@ing idiot”.

[@thetechguyz8645]

Ikr

[@daftvader4231]

Australian here in peace. First to apologize for giving you Rupert Murdoch and indirectly Fox News. You are right that Rupert loves a winner and will jump ship when he thinks Trumps time is up. Has done it before in the UK and Australia. He is a menace to democracy and the world will be a better place when the decepit old bastard dies. Problem is that his mother, who was a fine woman, made it to 100 so it appears that he has inherited her genes. Apparently his heir apparent Lachlan though is a bigger right wing nutjob than his old man but without the smarts.

[@theodorej3954]

The three actual news anchors at fox fact check the white house often... the two dozen opinion "news" screamers don't

[@evillyn7895]

Thank all the gods Stephen Colbert can give a reason to laugh during this nightmare administration.

[@kellym9190]

Yes, but I’m so ready to never hear about Trump again... #Biden2020

[@jamesburgess2k]

"If Donald Trump wanted the wall, he'd have negotiated away something of value to get it. Or at least tried to do so. He doesn't want the wall. He wants the *fight* over the wall. He wants to be seen going to war over the wall. That's what tonight is about." -Ezra Klein

[@TheRogueWolf]

He's trying desperately to pacify his racist base, because he knows that's all he has left.

[@Alvanni78]

HE WANTS HIS CUT OF THE MONEY!!!!!

[@lillysweet8016]

James Burgess same lies as always nothing new trump didn’t change anything

[@nunchucktaylor3488]

The fallacy in that statement is assuming that Trump actually has negotiating skills. He has hiring-lawyers-that-are-good-at-negotiating skills. To believe otherwise is just buying into his repetitive rhetoric.

[@texaswolverine3065]

He has zero business /negotiation skills

[@cloveravery85]

LOL "Not the first time he's interfered with an FBI investigation."

[@WhiteFangofWar]

7:30 Thank you for fact checking. It is the bane of this administration. As demonstrated by Huckabee here, nothing gets them more riled up than calling out their lies. Also the joke with Joe was great.

[@debrabiderman4275]

Since I refused to watch I thank you 4 the update.

[@trnharris]

My sentiments exactly

[@faceoff3315]

Make America great again Impeach Donald J Trump and Mike Pence from Office

[@Gottenhimfella]

It is troubling to see PaleFace Pence subbed in for the HuckerSands, but I suppose it continues the _"Before model from a constipation remedy"_ theme which seems to have worked so well for them ... HS is still in the naughty corner after KellyAnne had to come out publicly and bitch-slap her for the "Four thousand terrorist" omnishambles.

[@lisarice4402]

It has gotten so bad, I am starting to wonder if his definition of the word ‘terrorist’ actually translates to ‘non-white person’

[@ingriddubbel8468]

Um, impeachment is an indictment, that's it. The Senate can choose not to go to trial. The best way to get him out is to evoke the 25th Amendment.

[@g0679]

George Lewis And invalidate Trump’s judicial appointments.

[@jw796]

Welcome the first Madam PotUS

[@leonardobear5487]

Its like my niece throwing a tantrum, saying " I wana wall". but she is 3.......

[@jimsvideos7201]

The networks erred in even broadcasting his speech.

[@tomitstube]

i'd say they were guilty of gross negligence. i'd say the corporate fascists who approved this should be cut up into small pieces and mailed to saudi arabia.

[@The_Green_Queen]

Agreed, but wasn’t it a first that they scheduled a rebuttal for a presidential address?

[@markbrownner6565]

it used to be called the fairness doctrine...@Mars Falcon

[@danieldickson8591]

As much as I hate Trump having a national public soapbox from which to spew, he is the lawful President and has a right and a responsibility to address the nation. But allowing time for rebuttal by appropriate elected officials was also right.

[@oogachaka3447]

@@tomitstube Why go through such effort? Just send them to the nearest SA embassy.

[@user-nw2sj7rn1q]

Holy cow, I had no idea Pence could even speak. Lol

[@Jet-rx1ji]

Kirsten Hodges he’s waiting in the sidelines to become a vulgar third course after the entree and main of the Orange Dotard.

[@sirius4k]

He has uttered some bullshit before as well, so has Jared, actually.

[@barbaracrisp6121]

Pency pants doesn’t speak, he preaches.

[@camrenmugabe4166]

Preaches bullshit yeah he is religious hypocrite so yeah.

[@wp2746]

Indeed

[@fabri3746]

National emergency for Disco Fever was great by Stephen!!!

[@lazyperfectionist1]

"At the _time,_ Ford _needed_ the Emergency Powers to respond to an epidemic of Disco fever." Yes. I hear many soles were lost.

[@tomtac17]

I would have loved to see Ford (may he R.I.P.) try to dance to disco.

[@kathleensturgis8525]

I watched Trump's speech until 9:09. At that point I could no longer stand his inanity and changed the channel.

[@brainflash1]

What did he say at 9:09?

[@toohichris8465]

It ended at 9:11... the symbology

[@dabullzfan25]

@@brainflash1 I watched the whole thing and started thinking about a drinking game based on how many times he sniffed hard during his speech. I need my liver and kidneys, since I already killed my brains cells watching that so-called speech.

[@angeladay2196]

Tell us brave one, what crazy did the Orange One speak? You have braved the orange one malevolent words, so that his venom would not infect us! Your noble nature, gives us hope agaist this dastardly Dufus that plague our existence. But Seriously, If anyone could give us a rundown so we don't have to listen to this asshole, we would thank you!

[@animoetprudentia2865]

It's the equivalent of sticking your tongue in a light socket. You know it's gonna cause damage. Why would one choose self punishment? Life got better after I quit cable and satellite 3yrs ago. It's mind control; "television programming". Try it. Cut TV cold turkey for a month, then try and watch it again. The commercials alone are maddening.

[@HyperHunt621]

Tell me about it; My dad and I were all set to watch FBI seeing as its new episodes were coming back, and then _THIS IS A CBS NEWS SPECIAL REPORT_ And both of us just slid down in our seats in realization that we forgot he was speaking tonight and screamed, "fuuuuuck..."

[@sethbritton6970]

@jack flash JFK's assassination and Donald Trumps desperate pleas for an ozymandian ego trip are nowhere in the same league.

[@retnavybrat]

@@sethbritton6970 JFK was assassinated on November 22, 1963. "jack flash" was referring to Martin Luther King, Jr.'s assassination. That lapse in history recall aside, I agree with your post.

[@sethbritton6970]

@@retnavybrat Thanks for the catch! I feel a bit silly for mixing those up.

[@retnavybrat]

@@sethbritton6970 No problem. 🙂

[@auguststudios]

Sad day for America when comedians have to fact check the president.

[@helveticaification]

Even sadder day when comedians are no longer allowed to do it - as Trump & some of his followers on here would prefer. SAD.

[@thewingedhussar4188]

Trump did ask a few of his cabinet to see if he can silence critics.

[@aprioriontoast704]

@@jordanshade6942 Truth hurts huh

[@gqp3215]

it is were i get my news, comedy central and Colbert

[@gokuthetypeofningen1688]

Even sadder is that Colbert is a republican

[@hmbri-on5cg]

Pretty good Clinton impression

[@hoboindachick]

I've come to terms that Trump just wants to hold the record for the longest shutdown.

[@cheungcampbell1780]

Brian O'Kongkohr 😂😂😂😂😂😂👏👏😆😆😆

[@Heavenzvoice]

addmore Hops you know I thought the same thing... yes he’s that sick...

[@danielgehring7437]

No surprise, really. Look what the shutdown is doing: the newly Democrat-controlled House is on leave, the Mueller investigation can't turn in its findings and some of their duties have been restricted, everyone is paying attention to it instead of other news. Perhaps most damning but I certainly wouldn't put it past him: consider that with the TSA restricted the likelihood of a real terrorist attack... such as another 9/11... is the highest its been in a decade. Now consider how he would spin a terrorist attack and how much power he could fearmonger away from people in the wake of such an attack. Now go look up how Mussolini came to power. The longer this shutdown continues, the more time Trump has to consolidate his power and hope for a lucky* break. *-I mean 'lucky' here, of course, only as it applies to Trump's desire to be a dictator.

[@luv2charlie]

addmore Hops we all need to contact our government representatives and ttell them to make a move and stop playing games with the Toddler in charge.

[@geekishgir]

@@danielgehring7437 that's pretty frightening, a lot of tin hat, but I could see that being the outcome. He is desperately looking for any immigrant crime to make his point. But if this is the long game he's playing, I guarantee he didn't think of it, sounds like a Miller evil plan.

[@ErynRenee]

Somebody give the writers behind this monologue a raise... brilliant.

[@NxDoyle]

"The best lack all conviction, while the worst Are full of passionate intensity." - W.B. Yeats. For some reason, that line from Yeats' Second Coming crossed my mind tonight as the current president went on TV for no good reason and tried to convince us that it was good that he's holding the nation to ransom.

[@RickyUzumaki993]

Nx Doyle Agreed

[@RickyUzumaki993]

Brian Allen Agreed

[@particleboy3584]

Trumpski worst politician since Caligula.

[@PogueMahone1]

Where's the good ol' Praetorian Guard when you need 'em? BTW, the Big Cheato better make damn sure his shutdown doesn't leave the Secret Service out in the winter cold, protecting his worthless ass without pay,

[@particleboy3584]

noob noob It's hard to be worse, yes ... but somehow Trump is managing to be.

[@joette5333]

Time to Call TEN CONGRESSIONAL CHAIRMAN and SPEAK UP STOP VENTING you must CONFRONT PROTEST CORRUPTION And CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY NOW!Thank you STEVE keep up the good work

[@edification567]

2020 can't come fast enough.

[@oc1144]

Personally..that Mueller report can't come soon enough

[@jenniferjean]

O C I'm sure donny isn't sleeping well knowing that report is coming, he's looking rather stressed lately.

[@alexpoipoi3981]

Be careful what you wish for!

[@cherylherrmann2026]

josie betan n

[@samuraijack3187]

Unfortunately 2020 doesn't matter because he'll win again

[@AG-qq2ne]

I'm so happy DADDY is back from his Christmas break.... Tuck me into bed please Stephen

[@lbthingsstuffmore9513]

ME TOO? PLEASE?

[@kidkakashi3171]

Daddy loves me more.

[@lex1eleven]

Can I watch?

[@legna0421]

Lol 😂 😂 😂

[@TimeandMonotony]

Only if you've been a good girl/boy/enby.

[@NewMessage]

"... He's a human being... or at least he was!" I'm pretty sure Gargamel was a cartoon, not an actual human being.

[@Billaxle]

Gargamel WAS a cartoon... Now he lives in the White House's attic...

[@mrrsnlk03]

Didn't care to watch Trump continue to lie and lie and lie so I turned him off but I did watch Nancy and Chuck!! Keep up the good work Nancy and Chuck!!!!

[@kikiwest2001]

lmao. Stephen's first reaction is spot on. He basically read his tweets out loud.

[@AndyOO6]

The only time Trump will be good is when he is gone.. Good and gone.. :P Gone for good.

[@McJethroPovTee]

Dead maybe

[@AndyOO6]

Wow, I get a reply from a person saying this is a threat to the president and "you have been reported" lol, Then the coward removes his comments, after trying to provoke me to say a threat, My idea is soft next to the truth, the truth that Trump is never good, and His actions are always selfish and wicked. This man thinks he is king, thinks he is a Dictator, thinks his followers will fight and die to keep him in power. Trump is the enemy of the nation, and what do we do? we talk about him and watch as he secures his power and destroys the nation. And still, lol, these are not threats, these are facts, a statement of who he is and where we are and what a Treasonous bastard he has become. (loyalty is to the nation not to a man or office) wow Trump supporters are dumb to the core, worthless maggot filled lot of fools that don't understand 5 billion dollars and what it would mean to spend it on a wall, what the Berlin wall meant and why we cheered when it came down, these fools lives are spent in service like maggots and worms eating at the core of what it is to be American.

[@McJethroPovTee]

@@AndyOO6 ikr Although i was gonna reply that I am not a US citizen anyway so any threats i make won't count as treasom but still.

[@JohnDoe-nz6bk]

Andy trump 2020!!

[@tommyl.dayandtherunaways820]

I didn't get to watch the full speech, but from the highlights I saw, it was pretty typical. I think one of my favorite lines was when he said something like: "at the Democrats' request, it will be a "steel barrier" rather than a comcrete wall". As if the government has been shut down for over 2 weeks because they can't agree on what materials to use.

[@mystaminacantakethis]

You know I’ve been laughing so far but that speech was crazy. Greetings from Europe!

[@thewordartist]

STEPHEN EXCELLENT WORDS ALWAYS SPOKEN SPEAKING GRATEFUL FOR YOU

[@MonkeyLuv127]

"Tap water and hardboiled toast". That strikes me as very accurate.

[@kbbeats3099]

Steve! My dude! Welcome back!! Bedtime just wasn't the same.

[@mmcken3354]

Stephen Colbert is just FANTASTIC, he says it as it is.

[@jantruitt9241]

I really really love the idea of changing the street name in front of the trump tower to.... “BARACK OBAMA STREET” OMG that would be so great! Please New York... Do So!!!!! I will laugh myself to death! Well.... probably not, but... I will try!!!!! OMG Please New York... help the country laugh a lot! You really need to rename a street to “Barack Obama Street”.... especially the street in front of “trump tower”! HaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHaHa....... It will be so funny!!! Please! Please Please Please!!!!!!! “Barack Obama Street” . Forever in the history books and local legion! Please New York!

[@wilfordthe4th422]

Jan truitt hi I am New York your wish is granted. Haza (points to street) behold Obama street.

[@gansach]

@@wilfordthe4th422 I am already New York

[@Emiltee]

Hey I live in ny and I would give 100% of my income to taxes for this to happen

[@carlamarlene2927]

no. Barack Obama Avenue. gives it a little more salt on the wound

[@jantruitt9241]

Carla Marlene YES! Thank You for thinking of that! Avenue does have a lot more class! And Obama does have a large amount of class! Hay, we could name an alley, in the worse part of the city, “trump’s alley”. You know that all the greatest people, from all over the world will travel to NY just to see it! Especially Russians. It will have the highest garbage piles, the very greatest pot holes, and the most offensive smells in the whole state! We could even have his name written on all of the walls! He will be so proud and thankful that he has finally succeeded in being the best at something that the city! 😂😂😂😂😂

[@brandonperales4609]

Stephen gets me through Quarantine. Old or new. He is a professional in every way AND his kids r cute. Haha. Ty stephen

[@lostbutfreesoul]

I am noticing so very few media outlets are reporting on the speech itself this morning. Seems Colbert's reaction of 'Great, they let him read his tweets on-air' is the correct response!

[@MyNameIsCorey]

I don't know if this is absolutely hilarious or alarming that this monologue was recorded before the Oval office address and didn't miss a beat is Agent Orange really that predictable?!😂

[@RickyUzumaki993]

MyNameIsCorey Yes, he is

[@lilsammich8252]

Yep

[@jerryrichardson2799]

Absolutely!

[@jeffreythurnau6796]

I forced myself to watch Trump’s entire speech tonight. It was excruciating to watch at just over 9 minutes long. For the first couple of minutes he seemed to be calmly reading the TelePrompTer with his hands folded on the desk. Then he started to use hand gestures and I thought, oh oh, he’s going into campaign rally mode. The camera then panned it to focus on his head and shoulders. He made it through the rest of the speech with only his trademark occasional sniffling to distract from the substance of the address. The substance of the speech was a more coherent and tamed down version of the fact challenged talking points that Trump, Sanders and Pence have been repeating previously. I could see Trump’s input into the speech, but he definitely did not write it himself. I then watched Pelosi and Schumer give their response which lasted about 5 minutes. They were both very stiff reading from the TelePrompTer. The bottom line of their response to Trump was open up the government now while we continue negotiating border security. The bottom line to me is Trump and the Republican controlled House and Senate had two years to fund and build the wall. It didn’t happen because most Republicans think it is a waste of money. Now it’s political theater to blame the Democrats so the Republicans can try to rebuild their base. I think if the shutdown continues and Americans are harmed, Trump will be given the blame by the Republicans who will try to weasel out of their complicity with this sham and hopefully all will pay the price in the 2020 elections.

[@RickyUzumaki993]

Jeffrey Thurnau Agreed

[@maggierezac5820]

@@RickyUzumaki993 And @ Jeffrey Thurnau, did either of you also catch the FACT that this was also his Campaign 2020 speech?? Yeah, his peeps sent out emails to *cough* supporters to donate to his reselection by 2100 ET. After the 'speech', they then sent out new emails to extend the deadline for his *cough* supporters to donate!! Dayum!

[@dr.trixiecp5651]

Maggie Rezac yup! You are correct...the whole thing is completely SHAMEFUL!!

[@alexvandu1]

I was too drunk to make sense of what trump said. So I’m guessing I didn’t miss much.

[@toysbystarlite05]

alexvandu1 me to

[@telectronix1368]

He sniffed a lot. He said that Democrats had requested the wall be steel slats. He said that the wall would "very quickly" pay for itself (No, I don't know either).

[@pietrojenkins6901]

Its far better to watch fact checkers put his speech to the sword sometime later than watch the liar himself. You didn't miss anything really.

[@jenniferjean]

alexvandu1 turned the TV off.

[@texaswolverine3065]

Try sniffing shoe glue makes Trump tolerable

[@nair.127]

Wow, 1 in 12 American citizens has a felony conviction. Ironic, I learn this from a comic actor. I am guessing the punch line is parking tickets are a felony in the USA?

[@jeffsavola]

No, but non-violent drug offenses certainly are. Especially if you're African American .

[@rugheadedporchmonkey]

trust me, it is much higher, so sad the US has more people in jail than any other nation combined, hope u are proud of that fact dumdass's

[@atomusbliss]

@@jeffsavola 100.

[@fordcougar99]

@@rugheadedporchmonkey that's because they kill them in other countries... ;)

[@alrafter1593]

Eric Ford You are the only Western country, including Europe that executes people.

[@feliciaWilPrevo]

Gotta love the Air Bud reference ❤💓❤💓❤💓❤💓

[@maemaebelle9391]

Whatever happened to the “caravan”?!

[@g0679]

MaeMae Belle Chrysler Corporation still makes the Caravan. (But the Valiant was discontinued long ago. Sad.)

[@maemaebelle9391]

g0679 lmao the migrant caravan not minivan caravan. I should’ve specified!

[@jammzy2959]

Right? I need him to do the dance!

[@lchapo7842]

Oh, they'll be back 😜

[@danieljob3184]

They were detained in southern Mexico.

[@amateurzeus5]

Yes he so RUDELY interrupted Ellen’s Game of Games :(

[@RCmack]

Trump should be a contestant on Ellen's game once he leaves office, which hopefully will be sooner rather than later!

[@NewMessage]

My reaction was to scream into a pillow for 20 minutes.

[@wynstansmom829]

Was it a Michael J Lindell's (Fox TV) MyPillow. inc? I hear they're selling out, around Washington DC.

[@broddr]

I had to mute Trump to stop my screaming. But then I watched the Pod Save America analysis, and got to see it all over again. Ugh.

[@wynstansmom829]

@@broddr lol, I've been watching those young men and they're funny and quite smart.

[@OB17358]

New Message I was just snapping back at him. My dog was concerned.

[@duernuada9785]

Traitor Trump is what they were fleeing in Bird Box.

[@teresathayn5170]

God Damn I love this guy!! Thanks for the laughs Stephen!! ;)

[@MeganKoumori]

"YOU MONSTERS HE'S A HUMAN BEING!!!" That's up for debate.

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

Whatever he is, he moults: I see the hair's gone again...

[@neldablanco1663]

Diverting attention from his legal problems. He's creating chaos to keep us from looking too closely at everything he's done.

[@BRICKMASONB201]

and he just seems to thrive on creating chaos everywhere throughout the world.

[@edwardmaxwell3951]

Yup, and the stock market. The problem with it is the more people talk about it, the more investors get spooked.

[@razor78RiPDimE]

I’m not fooled. And neither is Mueller. The reason for more time being given to the investigation isn’t to finally dig something up, but to make an airtight case. They’ve already found something and want to make sure it sticks. I can’t fucking wait! My nipples get hard just thinking about the buffoon sweating off his fake tan on the stand.

[@adamk5937]

And cable and network news corporations are all too happy to keep the chaos going, rather than be part of a solution!

[@trnharris]

Robert Mueller is not one bit distracted. Quietly working away😊

[@ronaldstevenson7925]

After watching first Trump then Nancy and Chuck I tune into Colbert to touch base with reality.

[@benschrader5797]

3:33 Jon playing “If I Only Had A Brain” had me busting out laughing.

[@DungeonStudio]

Love the cutaway look of Joe the drummer when Stephen singles him out. LOL

[@navyak1915]

Joe is hottt

[@DungeonStudio]

Girls and bad boy drummers, I'll never understand! LOL

[@navyak1915]

Every girl wants a bad boy... It's the promise of naughty things that may occur which attracts us...

[@DungeonStudio]

I get that. But drummers beat things. Wouldn't a nice keyboardist that knows how to use his fingers be a lot better? How be an accordian player that can finger, squeeze, and gyrate all while standing? (Maybe that's why Weird Al is so popular?)

[@navyak1915]

Well sometimes you need gentle and sometimes not-so-gentle... It's a mix... Maybe a drummer who is a good pianist too... ;)

[@Allsouls78]

The Trump "Primetime address" was the best simultaneous advertisement for an expanded cable channel package/Netflix4life ever.

[@IMSiegfried]

Definitely crossed my mind when I heard it was to be on every channel & as I had just recently cut the cord. :-D

[@jbeach2323]

Also a fine advertisement for just unplugging and having a whiskey with a friend, which is what I was glad to do. I very much expected no new information was going to come of it. Just a bunch of nonsense. Looks like I wasn't wrong.

[@godspath4me249]

“The new face of Gondor: How Orcish migrants are shaping Middle Earth’s first multicultural society”

[@kyleebrock]

I angered at the part where Donnie the draft dodger mentioned Vietnam...just like the giant sack of skin he has always been.

[@tomzitting7452]

Chuck just told Mitch to open the government or the house will shut down the Senate

[@g0679]

Tom Zitting It would be nice to see Mitch get shut down.

[@priscillajimenez27]

Trump going to Shark Tank for his wall wound be a good SNL sketch!

[@musicfan238able]

Wasn’t there something similar on Monty Python?

[@no_notes1229]

7:59 SMOOTH CRIMINAL - Nice, John!

[@ProfVRandall]

He gave the speech because he needed to connect with his base and his advisor told him could not go on a campaign tour while the government was shut down

[@kwood6882]

ProfVRandall : Right on!!

[@sirsaint88]

So glad to have a POTUS with a backbone! We've had broken promises since Reagan, Clinton talked nearly as tough on the border and illegal immigration as President Trump. Even soy boy Obama has his tough talk moments. Glad Trump just doesn't want to talk and promise, but to walk and act on his promises. Simply refreshing! America's needs first! #Trump2020

[@craftydusty]

@@sirsaint88 He's destroying our country and all that we believe in as a people and you're happy about it? How very sad...

[@lillyshaw3574]

@@sirsaint88 need your brain thoroughly examined.

[@ladonnabrock8613]

sirsaint88 Idiot.

[@MissKittenCinema]

"One boy band of terrorists." LOL!

[@eleanordixon9678]

Hello from Holland! Stephen just ripped the ass of the Orange One! I still haven't heard the speech yet because it was 3 a.m. here, but it's been recorded and I am REALLY looking forward to it!😊

[@m.rodrigolemus6224]

You didn't miss a thing... More Ranting 😉

[@OhJustCommenting]

Oh how I’ve missed you Stephen.

[@mark-ish]

FOOLED AGAIN, trumps nemesis- his mouth. 🤣🤣🤣 Colbert you're priceless. For everything else, Colbert.

[@luckyjenn8067]

"Good evening...errr!" I love you forever Stephen!

[@Stolkmen]

Lol I was telling my father the other day that it sounds like Trump is on Shark Tank......lol

[@kihlos2768]

Just resign trump and everybody will tune in and you’ll have record numbers!

[@saltedbuttercups]

Imagine if trump set up an address and just confessed to all the crimes and other awful things he's done? He'd go down in history, people would be talking about him forever. He'd love that. He should do it.

[@milfordcivic6755]

He wants to be on TV everyday. That's all he ever wanted...to be the center of attention.

[@cosmosrunner2468]

He killed it today!! Loved his Clinton voice. So good to have you back!

[@Cloud-zb8lw]

Stephen Miller is a human being ? He kinda reminds me of Lord Voldemort but scarier. What's with his hair?!

[@Katzztar]

Both are cringe-fests, stupid and vomit-inducing. But one is fare worse than the other and that is Trump's speeches. EDIT - this was not to Miller. Seems the original post I was replying to is either gone or edited. It said nothing about Miller, it said that watching Trump's speech is worse than watching The Human Centipede (hint do NOT go google it! or if you do, have a strong stomach)

[@telectronix1368]

@@Katzztar I wouldn't say Miller is stupid. A threat to decency, compassion and humanity, yes. But not stupid.

[@carolynrohman5736]

What hair? He sprays it on

[@dontbefatuousjeffrey2494]

His hair comes and goes, depending on the day of the week and who he's talking to. I think it's basically indexed to how many fucks he gives at the time.

[@hellsbells9837]

The real Voldemort is Rick Scott, Miller is just a poor copy.

[@anngillespie8007]

Omg I am laughing so hard I can't breathe, glad everyone back from the Christmas holidays! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@pallao3500]

"Good evening" - *errrrrrred* "My fellow Americans!" - *errrrrrred* "he is writing the speech himself" - *errrrrrred*

[@rosesofonyx747]

This was awesome! Love you stephen!

[@OldRaver]

Oh Steve, you’re back! Missed you. I can laugh again ❤️

[@lahorehomeimprovementvlogg7270]

Just give the guy his damned Wall already. Make it out of Snow. when it melts down....You will prove globalwarming to trump

[@thelovelymissmonica1938]

Lol!😎

[@katekibugi7401]

😂😂😂

[@shadow3675]

Funny enough that might actually work.

[@RockChick63174]

😂😂😂

[@helveticaification]

Ice-blocks made from the frozen tears of incarcerated children

[@ProjectFlashlight612]

The address was just ten minutes of blame shifting, dodgy figures, attempts at pathos that rang utterly hollow, and just flat out lying. Classic Cinnamon Hitler, really.

[@achillessix846]

'Cinnamon hitler'; good one. Made me laugh. I've seen other names like: mango mussolini and cheeto, but i personally call him the 'orange savior' due to the way his worshippers believe his every lie and think he will save america.

[@maggierezac5820]

@@achillessix846 and @ProjectFlashlight612, did you also know that this stunt was also his 2020 reselection campaign speech? His peeps sent out emails to his supporters before the speech, for donations, & to do it by 2100 E.T. Afterward, they sent out new emails to extend the deadline of those DONATIONS! Wow, just, Wos!

[@achillessix846]

@@maggierezac5820 everything is a money making scam to trump, even the presidency.

[@kswan2234]

Must be the navy seals. Sea air land

[@KerrieRedgate]

So good to be having a great laugh again! When all this is over, Stephen should get a Humanitarian award for saving (us) the planet!

[@sirc625]

I find the 730 Unlikes hilarious!

[@heythropmemories4235]

So sense of humor and reality

[@cody4763]

I did agree with trump that illegal drugs cost us way too much. They should really be more affordable.

[@toidean4834]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@anjie8570]

OMG this live address thing was complete insanity. 😴🥴 First Chuck I will take the Mantle, now blame the democrats and advertise for fund raising immediately, while being on Prime time. 🙄

[@gf4353]

A MAN IS ONLY AS GOOD AS HIS WORD.!!!

[@gf4353]

OR IS THAT TOO OLD FASHIONED FOR YOU.!!!!!

[@laurafordemocracy]

“Epidemic of disco fever” 😂

[@michaelkottler]

Colbert's Late Show is one of the best late-night news-as-comedy broadcasts and along w/Myers, Oliver, Kimmel et al provides us with the facts and what the mean w/out partisan spin & in a manner making often hard-to-hear events more palatable and in so doing providing a valuable public service. Thanks, Colbert!

[@fazbell]

LOVE Colbert. He always hits the mark.

[@TheEpicYak17]

One of the few things that Trump genuinely cares about is ratings so nobody should be surprised he wanted to speak in Primetime.

[@karlblume9419]

Using the bully pulpit to get a free campaign spot.

[@JoseRamos-ql1gv]

In Trumps vocabulary, its a national emergy 👐🏻

[@kylawilliamson56]

Colbert... as usual ... so right, it comes out as so sad ... Thank you, though, sir... your FACTS are so important to SHARE ... with all... and ... a laugh too, here and there.

[@TaniaMcCartney]

You just get better and better, Mr Colbert.

[@Cypresssina]

I'm going to go take some sleeping pills and a tall glass of vodka. I'm sure I'll make more sense in 20 mins than he did.

[@nirmalapersaud7589]

.

[@Cypresssina]

In the words of Dorothy from Golden Girls to Trump, "Go to sleep, Sweetheart, pray for brains."

[@Cypresssina]

I'd appreciate if they'd redact the "sweetheart" part.

[@OB17358]

Cypresssina just don’t overdose, it’ll be blamed on immigrants.

[@wizkhalifasmoke]

I cant wait until Mueller pulls up to the White House Regina George style