Damsel Is An Actual Embarrassment

[@CutzMcOnions]

she did a knee slide in the final fight with the dragon on a rough rocky cave floor and her knees are still fine.

[@tbeth]

She's just built different 😤 But seriously, I used to be a dancer and just sliding on smooth wooden floors banged up our knees pretty good like wtf movie

[@freewheeler8924]

That is the single most powerful move in rock'n'roll.

[@kojoattah3987]

The knee slide has literally never been cool From what I’ve seen it it’s always been unnecessary and dumb looking

[@CutzMcOnions]

@@kojoattah3987 im sorry mate, but you've clearly never did a rebellious slide on a freshly waxed floor against the expressed wishes of your loving mother that may or may not result in an untimely concussion that may or may not be followed by a thorough scolding.

[@tariq_sharif]

You might be over analysing, this is a movie for kids ... chill out ... have you ever watched a movie as a child, that now, as an adult, you realise is unrealistic (home alone ? gremlins ? ET ? etc etc) ...

[@geebzz7938]

I was absolutely pissed when the dragon caught itself on fire.. like what.. idc if it spits napalm it’s a DRAGON

[@zackbauer4562]

Elodie sparing the Dragon like it wasn't gonna bat an eye when it tried to kill her or when it did kill her dad, not to mention the countless innocent girls it killed over hundreds of years.

[@ArmyWolves]

add all the people the dragon killed from the kingdom which led to the king and his men going into the cave to try and kill the dragon.

[@hoffjdod3276]

And not just killed but the dragon went out of its way to make the deaths as mentally and physically brutal as possible, it was sadistic and cruel beyond redemption at that point. And to drag the process out over hundreds of years to the point where you’re not even punishing the heirs and descendants of the people that originally harmed you ? And on top of that there’s no way the dragon didn’t know the girls it was murdering weren’t actually from the family if the man that originally killed her children they were randomly chosen girls from far away lands that had been sacrificed to it and had NOTHING to do with what happened. Sorry but the dragon was a completely unredeemable character at that point.

[@Mouse_Metal]

The strong female dragon might be even bigger Mary Sue than MBB´s "character". The plot bends into a chaotic huddle around her just to paint this literal & figurative monster as a victim who did nuthing wrong, sob sob.

[@lemond2007]

Don't care about the movie, but I want to point out how much of a good boy "Venomous" is.

[@cultoosk]

He truly is a good boy

[@cultoosk]

@My_pfp_beats_all_dog_breeds. I think you misspelled the word "dogs". Glad to help ;)

[@cultoosk]

​@My_pfp_beats_all_dog_breeds. Dogs serve virtually all the purposes that cats do, and then some. If you attempt to pet a cat, chances are high you'll end up with some scratches for no apparent reason. The same might happen with a dog initially, but with time and mutual familiarity, it tends to become more comfortable and friendly, adapting to your emotions. However, a cat remains largely indifferent (even if you and the cat have grown accustomed to each other) its aggression levels may remain unchanged simply because it can. What you gonna do if you have a break-in or some other threat. What would a cat do? Nothing. But a dog? It would sense danger and potentially defend you. Dogs generally require less maintenance, are more social, and can be more active compared to cats. Of course, this varies depending on the breed. If you get smaller, delicate breeds you might as well be getting a cat, but larger breeds like Golden Retrievers or German Shepherds encompass all desirable traits in one package. They start as affectionate companions, mature while maintaining their playful nature, are empathetic, and can act as protectors. But whatever man, I digress the debate of Cats vs Dogs often boils down to personal preference. So, whatever you like, have a good day! And by the way, Venomous is still a good boy.

[@cultoosk]

@My_pfp_beats_all_dog_breeds. Accurate. 👍

[@cultoosk]

@My_pfp_beats_all_dog_breeds. Depends on the dog.

[@subjectc7505]

If plot armor wasn't a thing, that dragon would have carried the movie.

[@Burek_Od_Mesa]

Fr

[@rasalasblack]

If plot armor is not a thing, no one will believe MBBrown is just 20 years old. She looks old and fugly. Middle aged woman old.

[@rem792]

Funny how the metal crown melts before the skin does😅

[@freewheeler8924]

Maybe it was a cheese crown?

[@chrizeeey]

CiNeMatIC😜

[@rhyslightning3037]

Kinda like how in the last jedi when fin is flying towards the big laser drill his ship is melting but he is completely fine……. Hey Rian Johnson didnt write this movie did he?

[@LegaLImmigrnt]

The dad walking into the cave makes no sense as to why he thinks his daughter is still alive, as she would have been sacrificed at this point and most likely would have been dead.

[@keoghanwhimsically2268]

All the men in the story had to meet a gory end. How could she triumph as a “heroine” otherwise?

[@MollyHJohns]

As one of the villains he needed to make sure she died properly I guess. Just had that inkling niggle in his mind to go check once, you know?

[@GaudiaCertaminisGaming]

I like the way the damsel 'forgives' her father but doesn’t attempt to heal him with glowing slugs. Nice.

[@nebulousy]

The slugs don’t work on patriarchy

[@chrizeeey]

​LMAO

[@Sun.Shine-]

@@nebulousy 😂 i see what you did there 😂

[@EliasRoy]

Exactly 😂😂😂

[@EliasRoy]

@@nebulousy Yup 😂

[@jeffmorris5802]

Note to everyone in the comments - CRITICS rated She-Hulk fresh on Rotten Tomatoes (77%). Audiences did not (32%). Nobody cares about critic scores on Rotten Tomatoes except for other critics.

[@odindarkll3706]

It has also been confirmed that RT has a lot *gasp* payed reviewers! Ik, ik, but try to act surprise!

[@mc1993]

@@odindarkll3706 Immediately hit reply to type this. An insane amount of paid reviews. Rotten Tomatoes is no longer a valid site.

[@mc1993]

@@odindarkll3706 Immediately hit reply to type the same thing. An very large amount of paid reviews. RottenTomatoes is no longer a valid site.

[@mattgottesmann3514]

The audience scores are as questionable, though. Argylle has a fresh audience rating despite being a total disaster in every way, maybe worse than Damsel.

[@kh7688]

​@@mattgottesmann3514 No, not worse than Damsel. It is very disappointing, though.

[@ramonserna8089]

So they threw princesses and fooled the dragon puting their blood on them. Small question: Why use princesses and not peasants?? Did they wanted to practice their fake weddings or something? Are wedding arrangements crucial to their economy?

[@petrie911]

It was a way for other noble families to get rid of their insufferable girlboss princesses.

[@GaudiaCertaminisGaming]

The peasants do useful work.

[@ramondelgado4927]

Princesses are phisically weak and could not escape the dragon , while peasants would be a lot stronger , have actual survival skills and could potentially escape thus causing trouble for the kingdom

[@ramonserna8089]

@@ramondelgado4927 Dude is a dragon. Even if they manage to survive and kill it, isn't that the solution to the problem?

[@MollyHJohns]

​@@ramonserna8089 except they can't because the dragon is a female and a mother too, and the last one of her kind. Idk anymore 😂

[@Emanon...]

Don't try to "subvert" expectations. Anyone can start dancing at a funeral. Doesn't make you artistic. Try to exceed the expectations instead.

[@MollyHJohns]

Ngl Coffin Dance is the only exception up to this day. They set the trend and only they own the... genre.

[@MarvinPowell1]

To subvert expectations, one must first master expectations. Hacks like Rian Johnson and Juan Carlos Fresnadillo are incapable of doing either.

[@maguffintop2596]

I always thought subverting expectations meant disappointing audiences.

[@rhyslightning3037]

@@maguffintop2596 thats disney’s definition of it, yes.

[@SuppressedOfficial]

strong female character: noun. a character whose entire arc consists of changing her outfit

[@dbf1dware]

And haircut. Don't forget the haircut.

[@viniciusvalois2634]

And outperforming men, making males look like complete weakling buffoons.

[@mathewthecrow]

its so funny how millie is clearly struggling to chop wood because its a real axe chopping real wood

[@Mouse_Metal]

They should have hired a stunt double for the almost impossible stunt of chopping wood.

[@vanheath5382]

Two things: 1) Elodie has a chest wound on her right side fighting the dragon. She then appears with a scarred chest in the final scenes, but it’s on her left side. 2) Why couldn’t the dragon have baby dragons after the first three were killed?

[@Official_jackie_p]

Don’t forget how Elodie burnt dress keeps changing such as the chest piece

[@JR-gq7rx]

No males dragons survived the purge

[@yagami87]

2) because she-dragon is strong and independent therefore needs no he-dragon.

[@shadi6484]

@@yagami87 lol even as a woman myself, this made me laugh. The best comment.

[@willpower8061]

Single mom dragon?

[@DanielEarl]

This dragon isn't immune to dragon fire. WTF

[@MarvinPowell1]

Dragon Type is super-effective to itself. 😄

[@amonoceros]

I rationalized this as being like stomach acid or fecal material. As in, it's serving great purpose when it's in the right spot, and it'll cause a _whole_ lot of problems when it's not.

[@nrg16108]

Dragon scales are fire proof! Makes no sense

[@wild_seabass]

To be fair, the rest of our body is not immune to our stomach acid either

[@wonyymaya]

@@nrg16108 says who ?

[@vidmikes]

Damsel means an unmarried woman. The protagonist gets married in the first 15 minutes of the movie. The “writers” were too lazy to even look up the title in the dictionary.

[@mati.benapezo]

The "writers" were AIs, and I think the "I" in AI stands idiot.

[@SouthernRam]

well damn 😂😂😂😂

[@theannamueller]

there is a literary trope of the 'damsel in distress' waiting for the hero to help her. i guess that's what the title refers to whereas the film subverts this non-feminist notion with its story ... plot .... heroin ... idea .... whatever

[@Catmom-gl5nt]

@vidmikes Every time they say damsel, I hear low Middle Ages Norman influenced early English 😂. I swear, it’s like an ear worm I can’t avoid… I think I’m going to reread Le Morte De Arthur…

[@medalion1390]

@@theannamuellerYeah, I mean if you’re going to make a movie that’s a subversion of the classic fairytale trope of a hero rescuing a damsel in distress then the title at least makes sense.

[@tylerskiss]

I’m shocked no one is ripping apart the ridiculous scene where the group of knights in full armor and weaponry Zero Dark Thirty their way into the cave. They land softer than the Sardikar with the gravity belts on sand! It’s complete ridiculousness.

[@ArmyWolves]

*Disparu* commented on that... I think his words were something like, "the knights lowered themselves into the cave like a team of trained SAS commandos"

[@MollyHJohns]

This whole movie is probably a secret guilty pleasure dream MBB once had since she was 5 and somehow got told a bedtime story about St George and the Damsel so she wanted to be the dragonslayer princess without any consequences. Armour physic is the last thing in her mind.

[@schwarzerritter5724]

Movies like these are not written by AI. They are written by the marketing department; so basically the same as AI.

[@tnteachertim]

Nope. These movies are written by 11yr old girls.

[@dragonstooth4223]

a marketing department asking AI what humans like to watch

[@g1015m]

That's even worse than an A.I. movie! I wish Quentin Tarintino, Mel Brooks, or...hell Uwe Boll at this point would make fantasy movies.

[@michaelreich4827]

A huge part of the problem is they want you to believe someone with MBB's physique can slay a dragon.

[@demontferrat]

They could just make her an engineer type of person, make her build a contraption to win the fight. For ages humans used intelligence to overcome strength, but she just goes and beat a huge freaking dragon that a full army of trained soldiers couldn’t beat.

[@CRISPYPOP]

Fr!!!

[@jeffersonhassan4558]

You obviously didn't watch it,she didn't slay a dragon but listen to what your cult leader says

[@matthewsengendo6302]

So she did what then elaborate wallmart Einstein

[@jeffersonhassan4558]

@@demontferrat even at that,y'all will still call it woke as women were not allowed to be builders then

[@reaemishi2278]

I won a mint condition 1st edition Charazard in a math competition when I was in elementary school. My mom ripped it in half because my siblings were fighting over it.

[@MultiIhatethis]

Brutal.

[@lemond2007]

I would have called CPS and gotten her arrested.

[@rabbittv8399]

I would have tried to get your dad to divorce her.

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

So what nursing home is she in now?

[@deborahblackvideoediting8697]

Ahh yes, another example of punishing the innocent child because the other two baboons won't behave. Sorry, that must have just sucked!!

[@MamaMOB]

Why is everyone shocked that a royals marriage is transactional and not for love? Of course everyone knew the marriage was transactional. They're royals. Marriage is always transactional. They marry to increase their wealth expand their borders or just secure their kingdom. She was always going to be married off politically. Her sister will be married off politically. This is how royalty works. Especially in the past. I don't understand why women keep using the past when they want to romanticize shit. The past was not romantic. Royalty is not romantic. Never was and never will be.

[@justforever96]

No one really got married for love back then. It was to find a good partner for life. Not romance. You actually needed a good partner to survive for a lot of people.

[@anv_bis7287]

I remember in The Dark Knight Rises when Batman tried to climb out of the pit without his gear and almost died, we then spent a while seeing him train and trying and failing, and finally when he managed to get out, it was symbolic of him overcoming this hurdle and he's Batman, but I guess he ain't got shit on a strong independent woman who don't need no man.

[@matthewmosier8439]

Then people complained that his getting back to Gotham was unrealistic, despite the fact that he was a billionaire with worldwide connections and had just helped 50 guys to the point where they owed him their lives and could likely find a cell phone for him... That criticism frustrates me.

[@1lollmaolol1]

Strong independent women need no batman

[@anv_bis7287]

@DrEternity420 I was referring to the prison where bane grew up that he threw Bruce Wayne into

[@matthewmosier8439]

@@DrEternity420 I actually think TDKR is the better of the two DK films. In part because it is essential for bringing the deception used on the city in TDK, back around, demonstrating that some tactics can have consequences. It also demonstrates the deeply problematic way that far-progressive activism can influence a city/ country. Bane's way of manipulating people is a masterclass in what is wromg with the social justice movement

[@gerryfegan3608]

She's got that menstrual strength powered by the moon cycle bruh

[@Dawnl0rd]

6 years ago critics were happy to witness horrific movies that pushed their agenda and cheered for them with high scores. After 6 (and more) years of shit even they are fed up. The way Elodie discovers the blue bugs, a macguffin so powerful that can heal life-threatening wounds without leaving a scar, and then she tosses them aside until it's plot convenient and then she forgets about them again, is very moronic! Finding a way to breed those bugs in their nation would be invaluable to her people (but not to the plot, apparently).

the bugs also managed to just give the dragon a new eye after she stabbed it with a knife, i get healing powers, but...very cool bugs lmao

[@Sun.Shine-]

Yet, she didn't save her dad though

[@SonglyWryt.Bon-Burr]

​@@Sun.Shine- saved the dragon.

[@dogwklr]

Like in the walking dead when they realised that rhey could "hide" using the zombie blood and then never used it again for 50 fcking seasons 😂😂😂

[@MarvinPowell1]

She didn't even use them to heal the cut on her hand, which at this point, would still be fresh. Cause, plot.

[@YumikoYouku]

The rough idea doesn't seem to bad at all - but then suddenly we have strong female character. I could have believed cunning or compassionate - but sudden badass sword fighter?

[@fluffypinkpandas]

who can rock climb, do tourniquets and 1v1 a dragon and win?

[@SammEater]

If this is the best that Hollywood writers can do then it is no wonder people think they are using AI.

[@CraftySouthpaw]

It isn't even an original story - they just reworked the Theseus & the Minotaur myth so that Theseus is a woman & inexplicably joins forces with the Minotaur at the end.

[@brandonr3072]

Think? They definitely use AI. At this point people just don't say it for fear of lawsuits.

[@tacitidesong]

What it could have been: Obvious tomboy princess with actual evidence of her skills and martial prowess uncovers a dark secret of betrayal. What it actually was: This shit.

[@Stephnbeans]

When you said she cut her hair I could only think of Sakura in the chunin exams 😭

[@sita9071]

Not Sakura. 💀💀

[@Sa_mageste_le_roi]

Yeah that was a pointless bit of characterization

[@AkuTenshiiZero]

Y'know, I do have to give this movie some credit: At least showing her chopping wood helps justify how she can handle a sword, because I am so very tired of seeing women who have never lifted a finger in their lives suddenly swinging swords around. Of course they forgot to actually put the actress through any kind of fitness training to build even a hint of muscle, so it falls flat, but y'know...An attempt was made.

[@crazylegs1823]

I've been holding my breath underwater when I go into a pool for most of my life, so I've signed up for the Olympics 100 meter butterfly hopefully I'll get a medal!!

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

I agree it needs more. I would have accepted that if we saw her doing that AND some kind of sword practice. Even just against a dummy or training exercises with her dad. This dragon was killing scores of fully armed and trained dudes, so she needs to be as good if not better for the story to work. But they think “she can swing an axe at a non moving object, that means she can kill a fucking dragon.” That’s like saying that because I can do 20 pushups in a single set, I can beat up Mike Tyson in his prime. Like lmaoooo NOOO I cannot.

[@squatchit5700]

The only attempt made was to make some money off of MBB before she becomes irrelevant.

[@felipemontero1087]

Except it makes everything else more ridiculous. We don’t see her swinging the axe, he just see her putting it down. Cause no way BBB can swing that axe. Is like putting Michael Myers next to a dead Godzilla, and the movie trying to convince us that Michael managed to kill Godzilla. Lazy writing

[@edmediciN7]

Chat GPT is learning

[@Werewolf.with.Internet.Access]

Movies like this should give us aspiring authors and writers nothing but hope If THIS dreck can be picked up by a studio and given millions of dollars with big actors attached, imagine what they’d give for stuff that was made by those of us that still *actually give a shit* Brothers, sisters, to your keyboards. We’ve got stories to write.

[@MamaMOB]

Why would this give you hope? Do you not think there were any writers with a better story than this? But they picked this instead. Which means if you're a better writer than this you probably won't get picked. Ever heard the term overqualified?

[@panzerabwerkanone]

@@MamaMOB Good writers are not woke or DEI enough to get hired.

[@Nick-ue7iw]

No it doesnt. All the good writers and stories out there, and THIS gets made. Unless you hamstring your story with modern BS, it will never get chosen. Those with actual talent and skill got thrown out of the industry years ago.

[@dragonstooth4223]

Lol love this comment. Ans yes I do draw some hope from the shit that is produced and made into movie or becomes viral. But I also draw dread I might write too well to go viral.

[@MollyHJohns]

They don't ever pick random good stories all over the world, let alone on popular writing sites or from amateur writers. Because connections, interests and money. And oh, they are their own circle of society (elite or artists or whatever they think they are).

[@Jus-Too-Smoove]

7:05 “Oh and the step mother is black, because why wouldn’t she be.”😂😂😂

[@baronessvondengler]

Ah yes. No black people there? 🙃

[@bamaboo8398]

​@My_pfp_beats_all_dog_breeds. It's like Fantasy... Not reality

[@billybadass3056]

on a side note... it looks like Millie is following another hollyWEIRD tradition and is having collagen pumped into her lips already and she's not even 20 yet I believe or at least 21....

[@darkprince56]

Thought I was imagining things. Hollywood is a sick place

[@gregmize01]

i didn't even recognize her

[@Sun.Shine-]

It is so true though... She pouts alot in movies now that, i just can't ignore it. She's posing when the camera is on her face! Can't wait for stranger things finale 😑 Which reminds me of how Joe Wright told Keira Knightley to stop pouting in P&P, with her natural thin lips ❤️

[@גקדןרק]

I just noticed that, her lips look a lot fuller while I remember her lips being very thin early in the show Stranger Things, even with makeup. Sad.

[@LilyIglesias]

She's just turned 20 last month.

[@TheStraightestWhitest]

Somebody pointed out in a comment section how the film would've actually been great had it been the prince that was supposed to sacrifice her that defaulted. Like you can literally see his face at 0:43 is full of doubt and hesitation. Imagine if he had refused to do it, then she had been forced down that hole anyway, and they'd have worked together to allow her to escape. No politics, no McGuffin worms to save the day, no plot armor, no girlbossin'. Just a gritty survival story against an overpowering foe similar to say, Predator from the 80s. It could've worked. It could've been quite unique. And you can leave 90% of the film the same too, hell it would work better. Have the prince and Elodie convince the dragon together that she's been killing innocents, with both their hands as proof. You don't even need to make it end as a love story. Could be as simple as a young man breaking the chain of his family's sins thanks to the influence of a would-be victim. But then we can't have a girlboss, so yeah...

[@yeweston1411]

Bro called her every other Bobby Brown in existence 💀

[@MamaMOB]

I'm not going to lie whenever I see her I think of the name Billy Bob Bo Brown. I have no idea why.

[@DR.slzzzp]

ricky bobby brown & milly vanilli were goat calls😂

[@zsu-23-4shilka2]

I wouldn’t watch this movie if I was fucken blackout drunk.

[@Kognitosan]

You were and you did. There's even video of you in Damsel cosplay. Yikes.

[@chain872005]

@@Kognitosan Keep your sick twisted fantasies to yourself. Super Yikes.

[@SuperStella1111]

You’d black out and would never know.

[@Laurits556]

I just did, had to come to KZbin and get some nice shittalk about this shit movie before i sleep

[@al6243]

There's something really stupid about a firebreathing dragon getting burned by its own fire it just breathed out from its mouth. Like bruh.

[@stupidpol]

say it to fire eating artists.

[@justforever96]

I don't know, that depends on the mechanics of it. Maybe its insides are fireproof but not the outside. The bacteria that live in your lower intestine can kill you if they get into your upper intestine. That's how it works. Or maybe it spits out a liquid that doesn't ignite until it's exposed to the air in the atmosphere, so it's not fireproof at all. Is a flamethrower fireproof because it makes a jet of flame? In fact that's more plausible than a magical creature with a furnace inside of it and magical immunity to flame.

[@al6243]

@@justforever96 Most of your proposed mechanisms are irrelevant since if you watched the movie, you'd see the fire is already ignited within its body. You can see the dragons throat glow and exhaust sparks. Having it's interior only fireproof but not it's exterior makes it stupid even more. The gut bacteria analogy is a false equivalence as you're not supposed to move them or breath them out like a dragon with its flame. They are a stationary substance within your body. The flamethrower is also incomparable as it only ignites the flame outside of it. It becomes even harder to justify this stupidity once you consider that there's an insect called the bombadier beetle that shoots out boiling caustic acid which can burn and kill other insects but not itself. Even then, dragons being fireproof have always been a very common trope in fantasy stories. If this movie wanted to go for realism, then it should've have committed to it all the way, not just when it's convenient for the plot.

[@DainRiffgin89]

Glowing blue slugs that heal you? What is this, a Bioshock prequel?!

[@grapesofhypocrisy9842]

Dues Ex Machina plot device... learn basic writing bro

[@facepalmingmongrel]

Dragon breathes fire, dragons burned by fire, sounds legit

[@justforever96]

Guy with flamethrower makes jet of flame. Flame burns guy holding flamethrower. Whole flamethrower explodes if flame actually enters the thrower itself. That's not that far fetched at all. Do you think fire -eaters actually eat fire?

[@charlescaine6022]

The visual of Elodie falling into the cave looks like Hans falling off the Nakatomi Tower, but she survives.

[@Mouse_Metal]

Somehow Elodie returned.

[@irotinmyskin]

Brown managed to go from looking 15 to 35

[@Sane17x]

A simple tweak where the main girl boss actually would have wanted to get married to the man of his Dreams only to be thrown down a pit and get her heart broken would have changed the emotional impact of the premise

[@Cookiemunster779]

I love how we have both mulan making her hair flow extravagantly long for female empowerment AND brown cutting her hair to somehow symbolize the same thing!? lol okay

[@ArmyWolves]

I also found it entertaining that decades ago women were objectified by having them appear as sexy warrior princesses with just a short skirt and a bra-top to appeal to the male audience and then Millie Bobby Brown sheds her apparel which is restricting both physically and metaphorically and ends up as a barely covered female warrior... but this time its for her and not us the male audience so its empowering. *sigh* . . . okay.... if you say so

[@livelong6685]

so no one gonna mention why bobby millie look like she's in her 30s, no one finds that suspicious?

[@tomboyraider1015]

Stylists love to make people look older and more mature.

[@bamaboo8398]

No..?? She's a 2004

[@ArushiSingh004]

I don't think you should be worried about the looks of 20 years old you creep

[@darianstarfrog]

The worst part, is that the ending will add to MBB's obnoxious real life ego, everyone who knew/knows her all say the same thing when pressed, shes way to up herself.. thinks shes the bees knees, above everyone else.. bleck!

[@brandonr3072]

So she's a young female version of the rock. That's hilarious

[@gabrielmartins-xt6rx]

Performances so wood you could drive them through the hearts of vampires.

[@brooke..burleigh]

BAHAH

[@lance134679]

I wonder if years from now, people will watch movies like Damsel and Madame Web like they watch The Room, purely to laugh it how cheesy and dumb it is.

[@ggrarl]

"Oh, hai, Mark."

[@grapesofhypocrisy9842]

If you watch Damsel watch DragonSlayer first.

[@ArmyWolves]

I remember when I would watch certain Bollywood, Nollywood (Nigerian) or Chinese movies for the over the top acting, plot, dialogue for comedic relief and Hollywood was always the gold standard when it came to movies but unfortunately mainstream, big budget U.S movies have followed suit.

[@lance134679]

@@grapesofhypocrisy9842 Seen it, don't remember a thing about it. Might be worth a re-watch. 👍

[@grapesofhypocrisy9842]

@@lance134679 Watched it last night... it is a parody. Just swapped the protagonist and antagonist and added modern story telling techniques and trimmings.

[@studio96films65]

Angela Bassett deserves so much better

[@EquineDreams3]

At least they didnt toss Ryan Reynolds in to laugh at his own jokes. Thats... something?

[@forrestfire101]

This movie wasn’t great, but it didn’t feel like propaganda either. Premise is actually very strong, just could have been handled a bit better but overall an enjoyable watch

[@calebcold3]

Holy Crossover Batman!! A Legend watching a Legend.

[@sarasunshinemt4444]

Man, I feel bad for Robin Wright. She went from cult classic icon (The Princess Bride) to...this. Hell, even Admiral Raan from Mass Effect trilogy gets second hand cringe as the dragon.

[@timothymorris157]

Don’t forget that Robin Wright was also Jenny from Forrest Gump!

[@MamaMOB]

You do get The Princess Bide came out in 1987 right? If she went from that to this then she hasn't had a career for 37 years.

[@MamaMOB]

​@@timothymorris157that one's a little bit more relevant it's only 30 years old.

[@MamaMOB]

How about we go with House of Cards? That one's only 6 years old. And it doesn't make it seem like she hasn't had a career in 3 decades.

[@timothymorris157]

@@MamaMOB My point is that she can act and is a good actress, the problem is that Netflix threw her in this Damsel shit.

[@jesseperkins9669]

I personally feel Millie is not that great of an actor, she's only ever given mediocre performances and hopefully she stops acting after Netflix craps out the last season of stranger things. The best thing to come from her career are the memes about her being homophobic

[@TryingtoTellYou]

Avatar The Last Airbender: Subverts expectations of Appa's rescue with Zuko finding Appa first to showcase that Zuko is a dangerous and unpredictable enemy Damsel: Subverts the expectation that a hero wouldn't burn down an entire castle of innocent people to showcase uhhhh... that Millie Bobby Brown is a psychopath?

[@marciodasb5189]

"great"; "that was fantastic" - Did we see the same thing? I'm so confused.

[@SC-ec9fx]

Won’t see it so glad you did. So freaking sick of Mary Sue cutting hair short meme. A friend told me I should watch this and I asked “ is the main actress a girl boss?” he said no, she struggles. I said BS Hollywood can't do that.

[@docjonez223]

He called her a "sheet of paper"... 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@midlandredux]

Should point out that, up until the 20th Century, pretty much every marriage of a princess was transactional. Century after century, from Sumer to India to China to Russia and Britain, royal daughters were livestock, traded to foreign leaders to seal alliances and trade deals. This should not be a revelation to any character in any movie.

[@IronKore]

Millie Millie Millie... Why are you so much of a stranger thing now?

[@pigeonpoo1823]

And there was us thinking 2022 and 2023 couldn't be beaten for sheer garbage

[@MollyHJohns]

It's only getting worse year by year.

[@Kendro311]

Just the single scene of Eowyn slaying the Witch King is more impactful, strong, emboldening, inspiring, complimentary to women and just plain more awesome than this entire movie could hope to be. Granted I haven't seen this, but from what I see here.

[@DieNibelungenliad]

Alot of LOTR fans hated that scene though

[@LalaDepala_00]

As a woman, I hate that scene

[@doukzu]

Aw, and I was looking forward to it too. Kingdom cult that sacrifices the newlywed princess to the depths sounds so cool.

[@kurstydownie496]

I had to mute it during the minutes of MBB's exertion noises

[@Kognitosan]

Because it gave you a chubby?

[@comyxcon4gaming860]

@@Kognitosan No, because it quite possibly gave him a splitting headache.

[@ParanoidBobby]

@@Kognitosan nah, just you bro

[@ArmyWolves]

I knew it wasn't just me... that part sounded sensual

[@Kognitosan]

@My_pfp_beats_all_dog_breeds.Oh noz. My feefees. F off.Your pfp is a trash breed FYI.

[@ArmyWolves]

9:30 Her family not attending the mountain ritual of the wedding was also strange... I dont even remember Elodie even asking her husband-to-be why her family were not present for this part of the ceremony

[@ladyhotep5189]

Does she keep a tube of lipstick in her dress pocket the whole time for her freshly injected lips?

[@eg3711]

Does anybody remember that old dragon slayer movie where the wizard is reborn in a sea of fire and the hero has a shield made of dragon skin. I'm sure it looks old now, but that was good movie....

[@ggrarl]

Vermithrax Perjorative was an awesome dragon, and the wizard was a great actor. Everyone should watch "Dragonslayer" (1981)

[@grapesofhypocrisy9842]

Ya this movie takes alot of beats from that movie. 3 baby dragons get killed etc etc... they just reversed the protagonists and antagonists.

[@barret-xiii]

@@grapesofhypocrisy9842 I knew it seemed so familiar. It reads like someone saw Dragonslayer and decided to flip the genders to make an anti-damsel girl boss fantasy flick, but they realized it would mean tangling with Disney, so they made some changes and called it "original".

[@Dave_L913]

I'm so sorry you had to sit through this. I hope you took frequent breaks for hydration, walking in the sunlight, etc.

[@wht-rabt-obj]

I especially loved the part where Elodey ended up hatching her own three dragon eggs and came through the fire as the Mother of Dragons. ❤😂😂

[@darthcervantes]

I thought it was pretty good. My only gripe is her being super loud while trying to "hide" from a dragon. Its like, how did they not catch that isn't a great idea in a movie with such big time actors and such high production values? STRANGE!

[@lucid5017]

The worse thing about this movie is despite how bad the script, story and characters are there is SOME, not a lot but some potential. For one I like the dragons deign, the idea of a princess fighting for her life on the verge of death in a dark cave while being hunted is interesting and prone to some good character development and action. And the scene where the princess (I forgot her name) is drinking water from the icicles and it started to melt faster revealing the dragon was kinda sick. As well as the little notes previous princesses wrote. Some of these ideas are cool. Too bad the people directing this movie suck.

[@captaintoyota3171]

U mean drinking the dripping liquid in a dark sunlight free cave? Yeah thats great idea. Then continuing to stand eyes closed when suddenly the drip increases WHILE EVADING A DRAGON is just dumb. Like the slugs do they clone themselves in that bag? Like im sorry mountains only have ice OUTSIDE inside UNDER GROUND its WARMER so no ice=cave drippings of minerals

[@ntnwwnet]

7:50: um, excuse me, it's prince WHOMEVER

[@lancemillward1912]

Cutting firewood at the beginning to give some semblance she was tough. Should have had scene of her as a tomboy climbing trees getting into fights and rebelling against being a princess

[@silveruniverse]

She became a princess for her people to help them since they were poor and hungry. Marrying the prince would give them money to feed those people. Her rebelling wouldn't have made sense.

[@S_raB]

My favorite thing about this film is the "not light sabers"... they're plasma swords

[@ArmyWolves]

*LaserBlades* *SwordLasers* *Lightsabers* has five decades of brand recognition so that wont be matched or surpassed overnight regardless of how cool the alternative may be 😁😁😁😅

[@Mouse_Metal]

ROFL that cut of MBB hanging in front of a green screen and screaming and moaning as if she was doing something physically exhausting, or worse, filming an adult version of this trash-tier movie is hilarious. 😅😂🤣

[@comyxcon4gaming860]

Fun fact: Millie Bobby Brown ALREADY faced a dragon in Godzilla: King of the Monsters!!

[@ggrarl]

The important part is that while she was in that movie, she didn't actually fight the monster. Godzilla and Mothra killed King Ghidorah.

[@comyxcon4gaming860]

@@ggrarl She faced Ghidorah, not fight him. That's what I meant.

[@ikept_the_jethryk2421]

Can a single king, queen, or bishop in a medieval movie explain that marrying a stranger for money and power is a Princess's number one job? They didn't feed, house, and clothe you like royalty just because you're awesome.

[@thefamiliarface903]

I watched the movie thinking it was a series, seeing as the "character arc" was so hilariously nonexistent. That thought survived until the credits rolled and nothing started after. Lmao.

[@cat_carrier87]

I think the idea had a lot of potential.. if they had actually workshopped the characters, scrapped the entire script, spent more time on the world, upped the rating, gave her a character arc, made the dragon not talk, made the image more gritty and built up all the relationships it would have been a great ass movie.

[@via45]

Ive never liked anything with Millie brown.

[@Hulelol]

Stranger things tho

[@EliasRoy]

Stranger Things

[@ParanoidBobby]

@@Hulelol who would have guessed, not everyone likes that show especially with the recent seasons

[@ParanoidBobby]

@@MaggioWhetstone My bad, didn't know you knew every single human that watched the show, lol you oughta be jokin bro

[@ParanoidBobby]

@@MaggioWhetstone I didn't know majority=everyone, you got it lil bro

[@Akkordeondirigent]

She barely can hold the sword! It´s so ridiculous! Compare her to Brigitte Nielsen, not that I´m a fan of hers, but still. This is ridiculous.

[@TheActualRed]

I keep wanting to call the character 'corn'. Elodie.... Elote.

[@remuslazar2033]

​@Gyrfalcon312 what is the other half of you?

[@griffalo1013]

I audibly went "Oh no!" when you said Angela Bassett was in this.

[@veronicagross7458]

Same when I saw Robin Wright. Damn, their rent must be due for them to accept this...

[@Bamgeutcutiepie]

BUT THE DRAGON IS COOL you have to admit 😍

[@brianmurphy6480]

I agree, the way it was modeled was dope. If only the script could've kept up with the modeling. 🤦‍♂️

[@fireknight-rs4lk]

The voice was great too!!

[@fasillimerick7394]

I also speak out loud when I'm alone, but it's mostly just swearing.

[@MikeHawthorne-qv2ft]

A six episode series delving into the setting and the characters, building the plot might have been better.

[@comyxcon4gaming860]

How would that make things better when the writing is influenced by activists?

[@Zycoxy]

sounds like longer suffering for the audience.

[@MikeHawthorne-qv2ft]

@@Zycoxy probably so but I wanted more lore.

[@Quazi-Moto]

1:19 -- Can't even chop convincingly. She looks like she had that axe shoved in her hand 5 minutes ago. Which is the case, I'm sure.

[@aaronwilliams9427]

This is the funniest most accurate review I’ve seen of this film lol….and I watch a LOT of reviews.

[@grapesofhypocrisy9842]

How is it accurate if he didn't realize this was a remake of DragonSlayer... you kids are funny.

[@pastaoleary3031]

The movie cynic has become my favorite movie KZbinr. The random memes are a chefs kiss on the thoughtful insight. 10/10

[@Jrh-rp7np]

Millie is apparently an entitled little B,, she’s rude to wait staff and service workers.,she leaves nasty reviews if she doesn’t like the service,, I’m sorry anyone who is rude to service workers is a pos,, are their times and places you can speak up if they get something wrong ??? Sure.. But,, you don’t need to be rude just say ,, excuse me I think you got my order wrong.. And I’m sure they’ll fix it for you..That’s one of my giant pet peeves,, I actually was with a girl who was extremely rude to waiters and what not,, it’s like who the f are you,, you don’t even have a job,Almost, everything you have your parents bought you and only have nice things because I work 60-70 hours a week.. Long story short I probably stayed a year too long, and people don’t change they are who they are for the most part.. or if they change it’s not quick,. I swear I was always in fights and arguments with someone no matter were we went because now I have to defend her.. a cringe died a thousand times lol

[@BratzRockAngels]

So did you actually see her behave this way or are you just believing rumors from other people?

[@pam7304]

​@@BratzRockAngels she said it herself in an interview

[@BratzRockAngels]

@@pam7304 Can I see the quote of her saying that?

[@pam7304]

@@BratzRockAngels just search "millie bobby brown waiters" and it should come up, people were really mad about it

[@pam7304]

@@BratzRockAngels just search "millie bobby brown waiters" and it should come up, people were really mad about it

[@centrevezgaming4862]

As a burns survivor the pain of being burned or scolded lasts for months or years whilst going through tons of surgery and you can’t easily shake it off the pain is with you for the rest of your life.

[@ionutcristian9650]

I doubt Millie is popular for her brain. She used to be a flat earther you know.

[@tomchandler7568]

Are you serious?

[@theinsurance2450]

​@@tomchandler7568 Unfortunately yes he is

[@MENACE-km6bd]

Well, she was a kid and still is. She's young. No one older than 25 would find her wise.

[@quikgold513]

It's Home Alone in a dragon's lair.

[@Gruntvc]

Yeah, I'd rather rewatch Jack Reacher again than watch this film. Only thing I'd like to watch on Netflix is the Spriggan anime. But I don't have Netflix for years now. Heck, I'd rather watch the 1st two live action Resident Evil films than watch Damsel.

[@michaelmanning6501]

Did anyone else notice her shoulder burn go from the left side in one scene and right side on the next scene?

[@Mmmmilo]

So I don’t get it: is the dragon the protagonist?

[@brianmurphy6480]

Every woman is the protagonist. It's not what they do, it's what they are. 🥲

[@TheOkThx]

HOW!?!?! HOW DO THESE MOVIES GET MADE!?!?!?

[@poderx]

MBB is everything that's wrong in Hollywood.

[@grapesofhypocrisy9842]

Ya its all Her fault she wants too see herself in movies... so terrible. Watch the OG movie... it's about an wizards apprentice killing a dragon...

[@Geeklectica]

Millie - Bobby Brown be burying that producer credit faster than a pirate with stolen treasure.

[@shamrockdragon7634]

lol, they couldn't even build the base of the pillars for the set, it's all CGI.

[@DieNibelungenliad]

What's wrong with that?

[@shamrockdragon7634]

@@DieNibelungenliad So the more green screens there are, the less the actors/actresses have to interact with their environment. Notice that the scene where she's in the water, the set is less green screen because she has to touch the sides of the pool, etc. but the lair part where she goes up against the dragon, is all green screen, except for the floor. Without at least the base of the pillars to look how they would in the movie, it gives Milly less to picture what the cave will look like, the scale of how big everything is, a more experienced actor or actress who has had a wider range of roles could possibly do a really good job in an environment like this, but Milly is still a young actress and I've noticed that her acting goes up and down depending on how the scenes are and who or what she has to interact with.

[@Dragooncore]

"This is the McDonald's drive through of movie story telling, you can't beat the convenience" You have so many amazing quips in here, well done!

[@maxmazzotti6651]

5:02. Even 90s effects like MK Annihilation were a product of their time

[@MrPrice2U]

"Talented cast"? LOL!

[@teloxy6579]

How did the dragon know that Elodie was going to come for her sister? If she was so insightful, she could have guessed that the father coming to her rescue meant she wasn't the right king's daughter...