How 2 Be Healthy

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WHY DO I CALL MY FANS GREG?
Greg is the strongest family on the internet, we're the fastest growing channel on KZbin, and we make fire content. So, instead of making up some pun using my name and calling my fans that, I decided to use a different name entirely. A name so strong, haters tremble when it is spoken. WE ARE GREG. AND WE ARE TAKING OVER THE INTERNET. And all you have to do to join is hit subscribe and turn on notifications.
#dannygonzalez

[@jamesdempsey2128]

5 almonds: No cancer 500 almonds: Cyanide poisoning: No cancer.

[@Insert.Oregano]

So the limit is 499...?

[@a.o.8527]

Your profile picture looks like you never have bone problems

[@zorrows_tale2]

Jimbo Obmij exactly no cancer cause you won’t be here to get it 😂😂

[@noahziperovich]

I said this earlier

[@crissy4445]

ALMONDS ARE INCREDIBLY BAD FOR THE ENVIRONMENT!! DON’T BUY ALMONDS! They use a ridiculous amount of water to grow (about a gallon of water to grow ONE almond) and in California huge almond farms divert water from rivers killing fish and natural life there. Almonds are also a huge contributing factor in bees going extinct, killing billions of bees per year. Bees are brought in to pollinate almond farms, die from pesticides and then they bring MORE BEES to die too! Replace almond milk with oat milk and for God’s sake DON’T BUY ALMONDS!!

[@its_doovey]

“Wives wanna eat their husbands!” Female praying mantises: *well,*

[@ellaskystabber9655]

Lol

[@ellaskystabber9655]

Funny

[@ellaskystabber9655]

Haha

[@youdroppedsomething4334]

@@ellaskystabber9655 yes

[@dweebingdailey5795]

insect jokes on danny gonzalez videos. this is where i belong

[@keziaplayz8015]

oh, shit, man.. i laughed more than once.. i- i’m gonna miss my family.. *sigh* grab the handcuffs..

[@eastoncreger4279]

Was it one sustained laugh or several laughs?

[@keziaplayz8015]

@@eastoncreger4279 several..

[@averysadpizza6714]

@@keziaplayz8015 we'll let you off for now, with a warning. don't do it again

[@RedLaundryBasket]

@@averysadpizza6714 he has still violated the law of the universe, he should and shall still be punished. But in order to find middle ground, we’ll let him off by cutting his head off. He probably already eaten 4 dates so he should be fine… you have eaten 4 dates right KeziaPlayz?

[@thisismychannel4174]

@@keziaplayz8015 how about 4 dates

[@botcore]

it's been two years and i still haven't made it to the end of the video because i use up my one (1) laughter on "why's my wife such a bitch" every time

[@0MGFL0RAXO]

try again now

[@noahluvrr]

have you done it yet

[@HelloImCotten]

have you done it by now? You might have already gotten cancer if you didnt see what your supposed to do

[@cryingmime]

have you finished the video

[@OsmSkylandersCheats]

The reason Danny looks 16 is because he eats almonds every day

[@dayaneperez8086]

Yes

[@kimberlysmalls6050]

And he also drinks raisin water

[@coolbrotherf127]

He needs some hair on his face too

[@claire4983]

danny exposed

[@replynator5774]

Yes he eats 16 years old teens everyday

[@bigscorchy4034]

Me: allergic to almonds Cancer: it’s free real estate

[@gremlin3447]

That made me wheeze 😂

[@kasey3105]

Bro I’m allergic to almonds too!

[@ZappyVan]

@@gremlin3447 geez calm down it's not that funny

[@mrditkovich4691]

And not only I'm afraid of almonds I'm also afraid of eating peanuts as well

[@slabman6262]

Zapp humor is subjective...now take off your clothes

[@Madisongs]

13:33 I actually interpreted the almond effects as more of a stackable thing. By the time you’ve eaten 6 almonds, you would have gained all the powers of the previous almonds PLUS a weight loss buff AND effects similar to a singular aspirin pill. Once you’ve eaten your six almonds per day, you would age backward, have a boost in energy and concentration, have substantial weight loss, have healthy skin, and be immune to both heart disease and all forms of cancer. That’s just six almonds, and those are just the effects you’ve shown in this video. I’ll check out the account to see if there’s more, because I’m now VERY interested in what they think the other effects of eating almonds are.

[@slam.p]

As a fetus i can confirm this, when i was 2 i ate six almonds and immediately began to age backwards!

[@gayasss]

What are you on?

[@Madisongs]

@@gayasss the autism spectrum :3

[@revooh-hj2nu]

@@gayasss the autism spectrum

[@theslimeybois4696]

I know Danny will never see this and it's pretty silly but I wanna comment it anyway- About 6 months ago My pops passed away from cancer and the only thing that's made me feel at least a little better about the whole thing is this video. When he was diagnosed I was devistated but I kept saying to myself "5 almond daily no cancer" to cheer myself up.. this video got me through a lot, it gave me one laugher (only one, no more is allowed) to stop being so upset, and I know it's what he would of wanted. To not be upset about it, but to laugh instead.

[@sharkksoda]

I'm so sorry for your loss

[@sageplayz2343]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Danny really is a legend. He might just make shit up as he goes, but it's some of the funniest shit I've ever seen. Having said that, I hope you have an amazing week! :)

[@asmoboi]

lmao man should have eaten those almonds Skill issue comfirmed

[@robloxforallstars6314]

​@@asmoboiBoooo

[@asmoboi]

@@robloxforallstars6314 ill eat you

[@radiotelevision2371]

My 6 rounds of chemotherapy didn’t cure my cancer, no. It was those 5 almonds I ate

[@bluerose536]

Should have ate those almonds before you got cancer, man. Would have saved ya a lot of trouble.

[@radiotelevision2371]

@@bluerose536 tell me about it

[@sanitizer__]

👁👄👁gosh darn it *USHOULDVE EATEN THEM, BEFORE THE CANCER!*

[@SomeGuy-xd5fn]

So youre saying it was cured, which means the 5 almonds worked. Therefore it doesnt matter if you have the almonds before or after

[@homisighed]

cant have cancer if your dead which is why I choose to work at the CPKO Cancer Patient Killer Organization

[@aunnaw7134]

damn, times are so tough that they’re rationing out laughter now

[@evergreen6702]

This is the best joke I've seen all day, sadly I have already used up my laughter ration

[@dddlegend8102]

one laughter per person XD

[@mikaylalogann]

Evergreen 🤣

[@captaintaffy5083]

Ha

[@_melodyx]

ha

[@eastoncreger4279]

Death himself: it is time to go Danny Danny: *zooms in on Danny's mouth* how. About. FOUR DATES.

[@redRuxx]

Danny zooming in on danny

[@darthxader1112]

I’m so sorry Danny I had so much more than one laughter

[@attackehhh]

Oopsies! What a pity. Now follow me to the Silencing Room.

[@nikolaiestrella6785]

"Raisin water" is one of the single most disgusting phrases I've ever heard.

[@Asherg0723]

Nikolai Estrella I literally vomited when I heard raisin water, I am being serious, I don’t mean figuratively.

[@Jensenrobinb]

Wine is disgusting

[@suolva8742]

yes , grapes are G r o s s

[@kantermorris3420]

Blood purification sound like a kinky marketing campaign

[@nessa3025]

*insert bratz ew scene*

[@selahtorres3631]

The targeted demographic is you Danny, having wife while still like 13 years old

[@clairedavies2061]

Gre- I mean Danny is officially 13 years old!

[@selahtorres3631]

Flower scented soap (that’s the joke)

[@smileysword330]

Flower scented soap r/woosh

[@yenzi930]

Flower scented soap r/wooosh

[@engmak3363]

@@smileysword330 lul r/wooshing someone who is stating facts and not correcting?

[@gibbyfromicarlybestshow986]

Today I finally finished this video because of the one laughter a day law. It took me extra long because I kept forgetting what the video was about, then I started over again, then I laughed at the funny memes from the instagram, and I had to turn off my computer and crawl into the cold dark well I sleep in, where nothing else funny can happen for the rest of the day. Needless to say I memorized the whole thing, recited it word for word for my history report, and was expelled from my school. At least I would have been if I was ever technically enrolled there. Tomorrow I start working for the most powerful advertising agency in america. thank you dannyel.

[@Lazy_.Lavender]

Glad you finally ascended into dannyhood

[@buy-rb2ou]

5:43 "That's a nice argument, senator. Why don't you back it up with a source?" "My source is that I made it the fuck up."

[@watakashe6072]

There was no “THIS VIDEO IS OVER NOW” and it feels s o wrong

[@MercuryCat]

We can sing it ourselves: “THIS VIDEO IS OVER NOW (OVER NOW)”

[@watakashe6072]

Amanda Slocomb SO GO FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO WATCH(or just watch this video)

[@sashayaway4215]

I know we’ve had a lot of fun!

[@geekyrain5746]

Opal O'Neill (a lot of fun) BUT YOU CANT STAY ON THIS ENDSCREEN FOREVER

[@maygel]

@@geekyrain5746 (NO) THIS VIDEO IS OVER NOW (OVER NOW)

[@sarahcrain3023]

“I’m sorry mam, you have cancer”..... “uh no sorry I ate 5 almonds.” ...... cancer: *ight ima head out*

[@espy77]

Sarah Crain lol 😂 just laughed so hard lololololol 😂 OH NO I I HAD MORE THAN ONE LAUGHTER 😰😨😱

[@fallonvlogs1952]

@@espy77 only 1 laugher FBI OPEN UP

[@Worldsbiggestwinner]

Oh hey hey man I wanna was a good day today is gonna I gotta was the day we had a chance to get a chance to see y’all and I wanna was your birthday!

[@valkiddy89134]

@Samantha’s Doodles OMG I have more then one laughter to 😳😱😱😨😨😨😰😰😰🌲🌲🌲

[@certifiedclown6246]

Valkerie K why trees?

[@chickennugget4724]

8:21 fun fact Almonds especially the bitter ones can lead to cyanide poisoning. The HCN level is very much higher in bitter almonds as compared to the other sweet almonds. After enzymatic hydrolysis, hydrocyanic acid (HCN) can result in breathing problems, nervous breakdown, choking, and can even be fatal. idk why i posted this comment

[@mikudayoooooo]

that’s not very nice of almonds :(

[@chickennugget4724]

@TerraGaming24 dont

[@goatmom2980]

@@mikudayoooooo o nu, I spentt meye won lafture

[@froggy5748]

@TerraGaming24 eating normal almonds you can buy in a grocery store is perfectly safe as long as you don’t eat like hundreds of them at once. You have to really search online to be able to buy bitter almonds, which are the dangerous ones.

[@melroysojan]

Which means…. You will be reverse aging at such a pace that you will die instantly… great😂😂😂

[@Bug-hn8mz]

So you’re telling me that if my mom had eaten 5 almonds a day then she wouldn’t have gotten breast cancer

[@sharkarchives3180]

If only you'd seen this video before.. 😔

[@redRuxx]

yes

[@The_Eevee_Breeder]

Felt that 😔

[@stabbed.pineapple3717]

It's too bad this video didn't come out when I was 2 I could've saved my dad

[@Hana_Koneko666]

@@stabbed.pineapple3717 Rest in peace to your father. 😔

[@meiguess6765]

“Head cut off? How about 4 dates” A trick that the French royalty wasn’t aware of

[@Jack-qu3qz]

Someone unlike this because 420 likes funny

[@stsalty1788]

I liked so now its 422

[@bread7610]

913 now

[@ang.mp331]

947 now

[@joud9728]

957

[@MarianikiStrong]

My friend: *Eats 5 almonds* Me, a cancer: *Evaporates into thin air*

[@ameliagrady]

HAJEHFBEOWUHENFN

[@sagetheperson3295]

As a cancer I choked 😂😂

[@bendriscoll]

@@sagetheperson3295 How do you exist? I ate an almond today.

[@sagetheperson3295]

Ben Driscoll you didn’t eat enough

[@averybaravik7213]

An almond a day keeps the cancers away

[@voidcat1285]

“5 almonds a day, no cancer” Me who was born in early July: *nervous sweating*

[@berhonkusbardledoo]

Ok that’s actually really funny lol

[@featherblaze8819]

Danny: "I hope you're staying well" Me with a cold: yes'nt

[@tr4inwr3ck.d]

just eat 6 almonds

[@tinkywinkygaming62]

"Wives wanna eat their husbands." Female spiders: I mean-

[@Cat-yx7xc]

Female praying mantis: _Yes_

[@hornetisvoider]

True

[@moved.6963]

Female octopuses: 🙌

[@phud420]

@@moved.6963 "octoPUSSES", if you will

[@dollienan]

literally most bugs: 😏

[@h.sm222]

“Let’s together healthy” is definitely a billion surprise toys song

[@westdekota5935]

@Hana sm bst isn't healthy😂

[@urfavfilmbro]

Their pista ice cream will definitely help you from getting ugly... And fat.

[@sageseancore]

let's😳🥵together👯‍♀️💕bath🧼🛁

[@AHEBDVGDHAHSCDGDH]

the klown kid pista with a almonds

[@chalklate8678]

that was so good

[@Indigo-ns3hd]

One Danny a day, no depression

[@sapphosgirlfriend]

"have you had your laughter yet?" gets me everytime lmao

[@Anita-og1wb]

Now we know Danny's secret of looking like a highschooler: he eats his 10 almonds daily

[@pretty948]

And 4 dates

[@lavender_heart3831]

No 4 dates

[@shxhebx2039]

@peroh hol'up

[@mayuzzolina5183]

xd

[@nikachinful]

almond*

[@imsad3630]

“Wine” Me, an intellectual: R a i s i n W a t e r

[@slplssgr]

Why did you have to curse me with this

[@iolanda_liang]

I don’t-

[@shoshitaketakeyani3275]

GalaxyArt- John Laurens technically , you aren't wrong

[@salem-01]

R/technicallythetruth

[@alexasalnicov5640]

I read wine as wife and was so confused for like 30 seconds

[@sylvydraws]

sometimes when im sad i get 5 almonds and say "5 almonds daily no cancer" and eat them. truely this video has changed my life. thank you, danny gorpzolaz

[@Mirrored33]

One thing I love about Danny and his channel is that he is always neutral, kind, and funny. Not only him though, the gregs in the comments are the same way and that’s why I love this community💗

[@arls8096]

I'm more concerned on why his wife *is still getting school report cards*

[@raticoochiesmith9819]

👀

[@swiftaj8713]

XxarlosaurxX Lol i was thinking that too

[@ladyanonymous2641]

Uh-oh

[@emmabennett3985]

I mean, I guess you could be married in college?

[@pugtatograce3462]

oh no lol

[@CGZ26]

I can confirm the "5 daily almonds, no cancer". My mom did it and she had no cancers. My brother is a Gemini and I'm a Leo.

[@ava.marian]

Lmao this deserves more likes Edit: holy shit as soon as I said that it got like 600 more likes Edit 2: FUCKING 1,500 BRUH IT HAD 25 LIKES WHEN I POSTED THIS COMMENT ORIGINALLY 😂😂😂❤❤

[@brooke7656]

that is a deadly combo

[@fantasma0408]

What's your birthday?

[@arosnn]

same with my mom, i’m a gemini and my sister is a sagittarius

[@FIREcrochethairstyles]

Brilliant

[@adenmahad1780]

"They got my legend ass" really got me

[@rosebuds23]

when you’re allergic to almonds *panic*

[@tr4inwr3ck.d]

just eat 4 dates you'll have no weaknesses

[@artsmart203]

Everybody: grape juice Me, an intellectual: *raisin water*

[@yangzhou07]

Dried Grape H2O

[@patricksslut]

@@yangzhou07 I love me some dried grape H2O

[@Ash-lj8os]

Wet raisin water

[@Gigglyb1tch]

Dehydrated grape water

[@casso3238]

raisin blood

[@LaVaZ000]

5 Almonds = No cancer 10 Almonds = *Invincibility*

[@idkwholizzieis]

*30 almonds

[@catsamsr3440]

No you need to eat four dates for invincibility

[@predzelbun2646]

You mean to tell me I've been this close all along? All these years I've been eating 9 almonds....

[@crossplayed]

Gameshack 40 almonds: GOD LIKE

[@ashistrash994]

200 almonds: you ascend and become a god

[@DarrellerraD125]

11:49 ?*NAH I JUAT EAT 4 DATES DAILY

[@Moldeebread]

Underrated comment bro this is funny

[@PersonMayExist]

man, I really want to see one of those reality shows where its like a bunch of people forced to be roommates or whatever, but its Michael Jordan, Gandhi, and George Washington. That would be epic.

[@decrypto5571]

- “Five almonds daily no cancer” - *proceeds to show a picture of six almonds*

[@phud420]

The account is fake. Five almonds daily no cancer, six almonds daily yes cancer

[@abic9048]

TheDecryptedDude that means extra cancer

[@fufumad1688]

I saw that too I’m-

[@DanielleMamaril]

Five almonds ensure you don’t have cancer. Six ensure your immortality. They’re just watching out for us.

[@hansfranz8795]

Same with the dates - talks about four, shows a picture of five

[@arushalapati]

No ones talking about how a husband has a wife with a report card

[@egnsc1761]

😏😏

[@Gray-ve9qt]

*BANG BANG BANG* FBI OPEN UP

[@arbuckle6103]

The “wife” must still be a child.

[@trashdragon7]

Maybe it's old?

[@cosifish6341]

Well lucky no children get report cards before the 1st grade. It's ok if it's above that

[@morganwitkop4336]

This was the first video I ever saw of Danny's and I'm rediscovering this years later and it's highly nostalgic

[@PhenomenonAnimates]

Dude i love danny gonzalez videos ngl ive watched like every single one on furious and this one im truly greg

[@ava5118]

“Wife is wife, no matter who you are” -one laughter please

[@shashikalapatel9577]

Ha

[@chiarazani1290]

Ha

[@basicallystevenuniverse511]

Ha

[@lone_stick]

Ha ha WAIT SH

[@ava5118]

@Crrpt Tan thank you for ONLY giving one laughter. Remember you cannot laugh for the rest of the day! You are only allowed one.

[@taeliaspencer4845]

Danny has been eating almonds and that’s why he looks so young. He has already begun his Benjamin button journey

[@killerwhale2518]

Literally every nine yr old that’s seen Benjamin button thAt MeaNs HE iS oLd

[@ehbepbepbepbepbep4756]

Jokes on them I’m allergic to almonds 😎

[@emilytrost4123]

*drew

[@odiliamillan5632]

𝓗𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓽𝓱𝔂

[@dantom1]

What do you mean? He is 12?

[@lightabeloth1600]

1:30 lions are the biggest exception to this ignoring the fact they don't love each other

[@makingastardestroyer3066]

Your last sentences pushed me in PTSD hard. Since a DMT trip 2 years ago, these kinda concepts haunt me all the time. Thanks!

[@luisoflbcmediareviews4907]

My friend ate 3 almonds a day. He died of cancer. Should have eaten 4. You’re Welcome.

[@lillygun3690]

Luis of LBC Media Reviews but why didn’t he just turn back into a baby?

[@goldlara2475]

@@lillygun3690 that only works if you eat 2

[@inkstain3562]

smh i hate hearing preventable deaths like this it always makes me cry

[@KamilDeKerel]

No 5, 4 are for heart diseases so he still would have died

[@chromerudolf8502]

Goldlara 24 it says 2-3

[@Maddie-fu6vd]

9:04 Lactose intolerant people: guys my bones are getting squishy

[@explodingyoshi1540]

Rn my bones are bouncy

[@christinasophia894]

Vegans too lmao

[@unicorn69]

I remember that video

[@honeybeehols]

*surprised and angry british classroom noises*

[@unicorn69]

**Gasping noises**

[@rustic_dweller]

7:23 he missed the fact that if we make up shit we're legends

[@kiralipn]

I had just been watching Danny Gonzalez out of context videos while playing a game on my phone and after the last one ended this one started playing. It took me (no joke) 8 minutes to realize this wasn't another Danny out of context video.

[@ishikabhingarde2913]

“wives wanna eat their husbands.” so that’s where my dad went

[@norimori5170]

Ishika .K.B OH MY GOD HAHAHAHH-

[@pluto3194]

@@norimori5170 That's too many laughters

[@guidomista5462]

Thats why yo mama so FAT

[@fyodorsfluffywhitehatmar]

i shouldn’t have laughed at that i’m sorry-

[@RoseRose-fc1sr]

OMG SAME!!!

[@therealsharktime]

Had to stop after 3 minutes. I had one laughter. I Couldn't have any more.

[@iamme3941]

Daily dose of laughter. Hashtag laughter. Ha.

[@PickleMansLawyer]

One laughter*

[@KitKatPadsta]

Thomas had seen it all. He now could live in peace and finally rest.

[@eidechsearts]

Same, ha

[@wxrthz]

good job. only one laughter remember

[@khloryne]

i always come to this video when im bored, this is by FAR my favorite video on youtube.

[@colonmitsurobi1624]

I love watching Drew's videos! So funny. Hope his nutcracker doesn't kill him tho.

[@marconi1906]

why is no one talking about how raisin water is literally grape juice

[@Meckolo]

wine

[@theothewinkie174]

"they should make raisins with water already built into them. that would be Grape."

[@Dr.Ticklenuts]

So grape juice is raisin water

[@oldacocimt3]

coffee is just bean water

[@deborahl3083]

Literally just grapes. I’m dying.

[@_aje]

Scientists need to study Danny. He has somehow managed to find the fountain of youth. He looks at least 10 years younger than he actually is. It's unbelievable.

[@Janenjacken]

He just eats his almonds bro

[@ph1l0phob1a]

lmfao 💀🤚

[@AshaSara]

we need his skincare routine

[@rhubarbdude3347]

I think he just ate 2 - 3 almonds daily

[@LPSGO84]

It's just the almonds

[@notacrow6286]

I love how for the 5 almonds daily there are 6 almonds

[@curiouscollective8572]

I have not laughed so loud in a long ass time. Thank you for the 1 laughter. It was highly appreciated.

[@promisekathleen565]

As a girl I can confirm that is in fact how we sit.

[@Cat-yx7xc]

Hey girl

[@alrightanimations2207]

Same

[@mluu781]

@@Cat-yx7xc I'm trynna to type "hey man" back with my foot but instead, I got "ג ואנחנו לא רוצים"

[@opheebopgobrrrr6068]

We sit like we are summoning the underground lord himself, yeah

[@sarahjin4992]

Indeed. This is why we sit all day, because it's hard to stand up due to too many limbs.

[@xonk9691]

I’m more concerned on why his wife is still getting *school report cards*

[@cs7811]

Especially because the "obedient and soft spoken student" sounds like something my third grade teacher would say

[@xonk9691]

@@cs7811 LMAO TRUE

[@royalblanket]

I think it's something she kept from when she was a kid

[@etherealsalad2698]

FBI OPEN UP

[@Olive-ey1cc]

Hmmmmmmmm

[@lilyfitzgerald8971]

This video gives old man who takes everything literally and I’m thriving from it (I went over the laughter limit )

[@trenchtownrocker]

Thanks for the advice! This will really help me in the future!

[@krysimp.]

Ah yes. The three genders: -Kids -Men -Legends

[@dontmakemecallthecops6965]

gemini don’t forget Greg, little stinkers and kurtisons (I’m sorry)

[@Finngotscared]

@@dontmakemecallthecops6965 And... Craig's

[@swaggystairs5227]

Nah its nerf or nothing

[@dedchannellol2560]

And wife

[@aaaaaaaa-rn5kl]

wahmen don't exist change my mind

[@Nick-nh5cr]

Husband got shocked while reading his wife’s report card 1.Pee in her mouth 2.DIVORCE

[@yeetmetothemoon2122]

Pee in her mouth: 20 diamonds divorce: 0 diamonds Your diamonds: 0

[@feliiihh.]

@@yeetmetothemoon2122 o h no

[@dolphinman4309]

yes

[@noraspingarn5846]

BAHAHA

[@plaguedr6748]

1

[@ANTH4RAX]

Danny: And nasa’s like- *WOMENS FACE CARE PRODUCT AD PLAYS*

[@justanotheridiot6419]

'How girls sit-' Ad: MR CLEAN MULTI SURFACE LIQUID CLEANER-

[@vimalravindran1055]

"they should try making raisins that have water built into them" "that would be GRAPE"

[@LeoSphinx]

same lol 🤣🤣🤣

[@Belieber713]

i think this is my favourite joke Danny has ever made

[@tierralanae2205]

I love his corny jokes.. that's totally his swag lmao

[@theugliestgamerinthewest.7332]

It's grap not grape

[@whalesharkgirI]

@@theugliestgamerinthewest.7332 what

[@rollinsomethingbutiforgot]

When Danny says "whats up Greg?" I really feel it on a personal level And I look back at the screen And say "what's up Greg" That sounded so much more deep before I typed it out

[@djdjdjdn898]

That lion thing was funny to me, because I think the context of that photo was meant to be a lioness protecting cubs since sometimes the lions/fathers try to munchy-munch on them.

[@caspian4316]

“read his wife’s report card” Is this hypothetical man’s wife in high school or something??? Ew???

[@iliketoeatbatteries8122]

bruh moment or like, elementary school *sadly cringing*

[@r4d1at0r]

Um I think it’s her old report card

[@mani-png]

probably in like uni or sth (some older women go back to uni to finish their degree don't they?)

[@r4d1at0r]

mani older women and men

[@mani-png]

@@r4d1at0r yes yes of course guys, gals and non binary pals

[@humangarbage3019]

Sometimes I forget this dude isn’t 17 and is married and has his own house.

[@attiasprouse682]

And Apple Watch. And Tesla.

[@aestheticari8575]

Ikr like I thought Laura was his sister 😭

[@michimonster5031]

Same

[@miles5173]

Bruh same lol

[@aidan6960]

@@aestheticari8575 sweet home Alabama

[@RareRex27]

WAIT WAIT GUYS WAIT THEY SAID SOMETHING RIGHT HERE The position their talking about at 11:39 actually works for constipation or gas, I swear it’s instant relief when i do it

[@RareRex27]

Except you dont do it 10 times in a row just hold the position

[@samsamisasamsam]

this video is pure gold for those out of context compilations

[@valx5]

“ they should try making raisins that have the water built into them. that would be *G R A P E* “

[@aprilvanpelt884]

resurrection grapes

[@idazaar]

I was looking for this comment 😂

[@imzipperoni]

@Justin Nowaczynski kids, drink wine.

[@avid_toxicity2324]

nko. Stop I already had my one laugh today

[@krypt0xar532]

@@avid_toxicity2324 laughter*

[@peepeepoopoo7182]

*eats 5 almonds* cancer: “aight imma head out”

[@jellybeans7072]

😆😂

[@medinirajan5702]

Danny calling Alia Bhatt a 'nice looking young girl' lmaoo

[@goblin.2618]

3:40 I audibly laughed at the how girls sit thing, and Danny immediately confronted me for it. Not only can he see me through the camera, he can do so 3 years in the future. Cool!

[@dandna1685]

plot twist, danny is actually 80 years old but looks young cuz he eats 30 almonds a day

[@HenkaG]

He’s like 25 tho

[@wolfeevi]

@@HenkaG No he’s 80 did you not read the comment

[@HenkaG]

@@wolfeevi sorry I think I was drunk when I commented this

[@mothma_am]

@@HenkaG we love a responsible king/queen/royal

[@imayawaya]

why does danny look ginger in this video

[@pog4163]

Patient: I have cancer, my cells are mutating Doctor: A L M O N D

[@DrUnfunny]

Patient: I have chlamydia. Doctor: Eat some fuckin' cashews, I dunno.

[@also_arles]

iHaveCancer iCarly, Season 4, Episode 26 (this a joke btw)

[@ilikecorn6943]

@@also_arles LMAO I THOUGHT OF THE SAME THING

[@rufflerobot]

5 almond *pic has 6*

[@hadleydavis-harper6456]

target lady

[@unbridledstorm3]

"they should try making raisins that have the water built into them" wait WAIT HOLD ON

[@RandomBird-zh6mo]

This my comfort video. I've watched is so much. I am not sure why

[@incognitoburrito7458]

Friend: hey, I think you should stop smoking, you can get cancer you know Me: That’s okay, I eat 5 almonds

[@ignoremelol2576]

Don’t do that you know.... Eating 5 almonds is not enough you must eat *6* you f*cking disgrace

[@gryffindornim]

STEVE NGUYEN no 8 silly

[@gryffindornim]

Starrynight oh i forgot!! (And your a f*cking dumbass it’s ♾

[@TSDTalks22]

Starrynight these people are all idiots, obviously you need to eat 5 peanuts, not almonds

[@gryffindornim]

TSD Tom oh yeah your right

[@scabillis]

What if Danny just kept switching around the g’s in “Greg” and we just had no idea.

[@RyanTosh]

Why did you have to,,,why would you even...how could...wat

[@deereye87]

I didn’t want to have this thought in my brain.

[@mariah_the_mnm2053]

Don’t f up my brain more than quaran math has already

[@2012Zyle]

how do we know if any of those letters are the same? What if he has an extra set of every letter and swaps them out between videos...

[@swordingthefirst6094]

Whats up greG

[@lilyb_is_cool]

4:40 my all time FAVORITE danny clip (i fell off my bed when i watched this part of the video for the first time 😭)

[@MB-eb9ed]

I did actually get a breast cancer imaging test done today. I’m cancer free. Holy shit did these posts come in clutch 🔥

[@Eva-te7zf]

Danny dosen't need more reverse aging. He already looks 12.

[@randomnesschannel8820]

And theres those 15 year old boys that sound 20

[@getin2_it979]

That's why its going to be so sad if he dies

[@nathan9901]

@@getin2_it979 wym if? U mean when?

[@getin2_it979]

@@nathan9901 NO. i mean if, because danny is to strong. remember he ate 30 almonds. and he has a balance wristband. he can not die

[@nathan9901]

@@getin2_it979 no not one, 30.

[@dannypizzarolls1008]

Me: *laughs twice* Danny: your free trial of being alive has ended.

[@Nirufion1975]

r/madlads

[@avgredditmod]

@@Nirufion1975 r/sjkakaiaoqjqja

[@vamplychee]

r/ohgodfuckmyspineithurts

[@teachmehowtodougie.mp3997]

r/bruhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[@ratmanreal]

lol

[@Totally_Bonkers]

"that would be grape" is the best joke i've heard all day

[@hadsyjiama9010]

I feel like the seagull sign is photoshopped since the drawn bird's shape is oddly simular to the real bird's shape. Like someone cut out the real bird and painted it black

[@craigory9826]

Almonds: *exists* Cancer: *Why do I hear boss music?*

[@checkit2429]

Mr room foam

[@craigory9826]

@@checkit2429 rabies

[@checkit2429]

@@craigory9826 flamenco

[@craigory9826]

@@checkit2429 bro I love the dance

[@checkit2429]

@@craigory9826 ?

[@TheClonetruper]

So no one is going to mention the fact that “wife” got a report card? Who’s wife still gets a school report card? Is this a child bride scenario?

[@abheekdhara9852]

I think it meant previous report card

[@TheKinety]

Yeah that had me confused. Like I can understand maybe the wife is a college student. But why is the college grading her behavior? And to who, her husband? wtf lol

[@nonewem5180]

Yeah that was uncomfy to read

[@TheClonetruper]

Abheek Dhara did it? Are we positive of this? I’m not sure man. Still just a little off-put. Actually still a lot off-put.

[@jennaeevee7115]

These people got married in the 3rd grade apparently

[@i_am_kind_of_a_duckhead9247]

the glass of milk thing helped me though, i have had no broken bones but i just love milk, i didn't do it for health or whatever

[@meredithmitchell8921]

7:17 I’ve watched this video no less than 5 times and I *just* got that pun omg

[@BenicioDelgado956]

I’m not gonna lie, I had two laughters. I’m sorry

[@lexnoodle]

You sinner

[@blevination]

There's a special place in hell for you.

[@lulwsam864]

you are a disgrace

[@bismuth6778]

TREASONN!!!! Treason

[@ntrlstar]

@@blevination LMAO

[@kitkatmeowzie3226]

"jonny jonny" "yes papa" "eating 30 almonds" "yes papa" "telling lies?" "no papa" "get on the scale" "ha"

[@redmantis.]

Johny would probably turn into a fetus right away from eating that many almonds. He would be invincible, though!

[@geckoszn]

ONE LAUGHTER PER DAY JOHNNY

[@AdanSn23]

@Magnum Dong refrigerators are refrigerators no matter who you are

[@ImADeity]

fun fact, almonds contain cyanide. 30 would kill him

[@rosieeeee3587]

Kitkatmeowzie :3 this is the best comment ha

[@marcosgpaya1018]

the rolling thing could help cosntipation, but only because lifting your knees to your chest alignes (Ithink (?)) the two holes the poop goes through.

[@17raysplays29]

You know what, I *do* put a lot of thought into how many "ha"s I use, and I'm not going to be ashamed of it anymore!