DBT Distress Tolerance STOP Skill

Stop is a DBT distress tolerance skill we can use whenever we're feeling overwhelmed to help us take a step back, observe and get some perspective, and then proceed mindfully and more effectively. To support my channel 👇
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Cartoon People by VectorToons (vectortoons.com/) CC BY-SA 4.0 (creativecommon...) via Wikimedia Commons
Time Out gesture by Vectors Point from the Noun Project

[@SelfHelpToons]

Distress Tolerance & Crisis Survival kzbin.info/www/bejne/j5akfnuXmKhrhpo Emotion Regulation and Acceptance: kzbin.info/www/bejne/a4DFf4CDiZWqpdE Emotion Regulation and Body Sensations: kzbin.info/www/bejne/sIuQnWx4a7CVnNU Wise Mind, Emotional Mind & Reasonable Mind: kzbin.info/www/bejne/g33RhqmunMRsptE Mindfulness of Thoughts: kzbin.info/www/bejne/oqbZoGWBaZiBhcU Mindfulness and Radical Acceptance: kzbin.info/www/bejne/pZO5hYdrhdCVi6s DBT Skills Playlist: kzbin.info/aero/PL4Qw4-tlRJe-T2l5MtFOsLkTIkfZqjobY

[@jak9934]

The difficulty with this dbt skill is that a recognition of emotional disregulation occurring is first off all required, as well as the necessary pause required to even allow the thought ‘stop’ to enter our thinking.

[@SiothaVest]

And good luck.trying to get another person to stop as well!

[@katkat3640]

I go instantly from 0 to 100 as if I am in frightened feeling intense emotion.

[@UncleStiffy]

I've gotten better..not great..I take time to write about my last 0-100. I look for the exit ramps..if I start using generalities..like saying always or everything. I tried to kill myself in front of my ex. There were moments I could have stopped or escaped. The anger felt sooo righteous. It goes back to practicing these skills when not in crisis..write write write..practice I had an experience with my current partner a couple days ago. I was getting more and more worked up...I chose to crawl into bed and shut down..while telling her I had too. I was spinning up. She u detstands what that means. I stayed home the next day from a planned event. I wrote about what my fear was..how it trigger me. After some emotion regulation and writing 3 opposites to every negative my BPD was saying..I slowly came down. I asked my girlfriend to go visit a friend and give me time to work on project and myself. After I was centered. I apologized for shutting dow, and at this time it's the best I can do to avoid exploding and say omg those hateful things we all do when enraged. There is hope and it takes work..good video. Keep up the good fight yall. I believe in you!

[@user-jq2gi9ko9h]

This contet is highly realistic and practical. It needs great effors and much time to apply. But it's gonna be so productive and saving.

[@captivesparrow2637]

I wanted to tell you that I watched this and your "cooling emotions" video when I was on the verge of lashing out on my partner and others. You taught me something powerful today that I've heard in therapy but never quite understood until now. A lot of times lashing out is so much easier than dealing with the uncomfortable emotion that I am currently pushing back which in my case is insecurity and hurt. When those words sunk in, I let myself deal with those emotions and it was so helpful to me. Letting the tears ago and just feeling that briefly made the rage completely disappear. I have been using mostly distress de-escalaters until now by distracting myself and pushing the emotions completely away so this was huge progress for me. I thought the only answer was to just leave that emotion for the time being and come back to it but I just repeat the cycle anytime I do instead of coping that way. I appreciate you very much and will be joining your membership. I can't tell you how much I needed that good cry :)

[@SelfHelpToons]

Thanks for sharing and I'm very happy to hear you've found those videos helpful.

[@waxxxdripdrop2736]

Sent to my mother thank you. She just signed up for therapy I’m proud of her just for that first step even though she portrays toxic behavior constantly I have faith she will try and rewire her brain to be happier and healthier

[@SelfHelpToons]

Glad to hear it

[@lilithlevaykjeldahl5257]

I'm finding your videos to be really helpful. They are short, which is what I need when I am feeling vulnerable, and they are full of excellent information. Thank you so much for your efforts.

[@zainaba3800]

Your videos are very helpful better than my therapist

[@SelfHelpToons]

Thanks, glad you like them!

[@mycookiehasnoname]

My therapist showed me this actually, lmao

[@meghanwithanh4517]

@@mycookiehasnoname same lmao you got a good therapist buddy

[@mycookiehasnoname]

@@meghanwithanh4517 only took 15-or-so years to get here, but fk yeah

[@catinkab3177]

Perfectly described and explained! Thanx a lot! I am a BPD-person and a great "fan" of DBT and Marsha Linehan. This video helped me once more to stay on my ground in a present crisis. Thank you!

[@SelfHelpToons]

Glad it helped!

[@user-jq2gi9ko9h]

It's really the best content. It's the most effective and helpful. Thank you deeply ❤

[@missricka6801]

I really like this video and find it particularly useful as a DBT therapist myself as it has proven an effective tool to show to my groups.

[@SelfHelpToons]

Glad to hear that.

[@ultravioletpisces3666]

This made me think of Phoebe on friends S for stop T for top O for op And p for Phoebe

[@scottrhodes3051]

These videos are extremely helpful.

[@SelfHelpToons]

Glad you like them!

[@katkat3640]

This is so helpful thank you! I always wanted to do DBT I find your videos extremely helpful and easy to understand thank you so much. If anyone can recommend other good resources please tell me. I have thought of online group sessions maybe or lessons. Also I did get a work book but it was just too hard to use, while your videos are just wonderfully easy to understand. I am taking notes of them while I watch. The videos are excellent, they are just perfect and so helpful.

[@nataliee0315]

Great content!

[@TheRoarWithin]

‘Stop is an acronym that stands for… stop’.

[@leonardovalderrama3622]

I love these videos. I use them to explain skills to patients. I would appreciate it if this ability were in Spanish.

[@sunflower-hs3ot]

Thanks 👍

[@ShruthiLakshminarayana]

Thank you!!!

[@glutamateglutamate5728]

Thanks.

[@Star-dj1kw]

✅ very good

[@Friponnepolissonne]

Thank you !!

[@vikasgupta1828]

Thanks

[@themasteryocheese8133]

excellent

[@SelfHelpToons]

Thanks!

[@zainaba3800]

Cheers

[@kahlodiego5299]

Goal.

[@LOVEisTHEultimateLAW]

💚

[@johnrondeau1180]

I use to go counselling. My counsellor said to use this technique. It definitely helps but I have to reuse it again.

[@toothdoctor1701]

🙏🙏🙏

[@chestnutmair1]

Would this help with a panic attack?

[@SelfHelpToons]

It could help with panic, especially if you do something like this for the breath part kzbin.info/www/bejne/mHSodGyIitR4pNk

[@galatians522wofkr]

So it means not completing a goal?

[@SelfHelpToons]

The last step of STOP is Proceed, so you can proceed towards your goal once you've taken a moment to calm and gather yourself

[@asasial1977]

How do you use these skills when the people you are dealing refuse to be rational or even see anything other than their perspective. The idea of this stuff is nice But reality is most people are not rational

[@fabplays6559]

There are skills in DBT that touch on this. It's important to remember that even when you are skillfull, other people around you may not be. If they are refusing to be rational, you aren't going to improve the situation or convince them to change their minds by being irrational. No matter what you do, you can't control what they think, what they say, what they do. What you can control is how you respond in the moment and what you do in the future. In DBT, a big part of that is first "radical acceptance", which is realising that you cannot change the reality that the other person isn't listening to you. You're banging your head against a brick wall. Once you have accepted that you cannot change who they are and that you've done everything you can do to be reasonable and rational, you have to consider how to proceed with that relationship. Is this person worth keeping in your life? Do you value your personal opinion more than that relationship? Are you able to seperate or at least distance yourself from them? Always make sure you put your own safety first, if someone is being abusive either physically or emotionally then that relationship is not safe. A little bit of CBT can come in as well. A lot of people experience the "control fallacy", where they mistakingly think that they can influence the behaviour of others if they just try hard enough to either appease or convince them. And there is also the "change fallacy", which is described as the following "This thought distortion assumes that others should change to suit their own interests. The person will pressure others to change because they feel the change will bring them happiness. They are convinced the happiness is dependent on the person changing." Getting people to always see things from your perspective is not realistic, possible, and it will not even make you a happier person. You're always going to encounter people that don't understand. No amount of reason and skillfullness will change who everyone is just by talking. So it's important to remember that.