DESPERATE always leads to SILLY DECISIONS (SATC Analysis)

[@insightsbyv]

How Miranda and Steve started 🍿kzbin.info/www/bejne/pGbZXnmCeLGprKM

[@nickievison1134]

Men and women can be friends. But I've encountered too many incidents with "Nice guys". Who cosplay as being friends but are secretly waiting for you to have a really bad day.

[@jensendsflowers]

“Waiting for you to have a really bad day” clock it!

[@oneshotonehit6731]

And you can only be friends with someone after you had relationship with them, not before 😌

[@toriyt2714]

It’s naive to think so. Men and women were created to mate. I’ve known people who were “friends” for decades and still started dating one another. You will always be an option to a man because well to be blunt you have a vagina. Men will play the background for 15 years before he tries you.

[@Sibila1983]

​@@oneshotonehit6731and even after that, they're still trying sometimes 😅

[@Iamliterallythatgirl]

Men and women can’t be friends your a pron category to them not a person…

[@lunallena5594]

Miranda should have tried harder to forget about Steve. Steve is a charmer when he wsnts to be but at the end, Miranda was doing all the work.

[@hibaaqahmed9099]

That bit with Miranda wiping the spilled drink is so true. My mother was like that where I always felt like I had to walk on eggshells. I never knew what would set her off! When I met my ex and I was scared of making mistakes around him but he never got mad or blow up I realised what I was doing and I had to teach myself to let go of that.

[@insightsbyv]

I'm happy you did❤️

[@jensendsflowers]

“Will we finally see an example of how two exes can be friends? … NO.” I laughedddd 😂😂😂

[@insightsbyv]

🤭🤭

[@reginafromrio]

I've usually made more money than my partners (I'm not flexing, just making a point) and they have always been resentful. When I want to go for sushi, I'll pay. I don't mind! When someone says a man feels like he can't give her what she needs, they're missing the point. She doesn't need your money. She needs your appreciation, loyalty, attention. ❤ it's priceless.

[@insightsbyv]

Exactly.

[@RoseRose-hp4rq]

I made significantly more money than my last two boyfriends and while in the beginning, they enjoyed some of the luxuries I could afford, they ended up resenting me in the end and being mean to me for no reason because the insecurity and resentment got the better of them. A lot of Men don’t want somebodyat a higher level than them that might require them to level up, they want someone lower than them that they can feel superior to. Well, those are the immature ones anyways.😂

[@Nyccalash]

I’ve never seen a single episode of sex in the city but I’m obsessed with these videos? What is this witchcraft??

[@AudreysBrains]

V’s videos are way better than this actual show 😂

[@thisrandomperson2603]

Ikr

[@ThatWeirdFinn]

*sex AND the city (SATC)

[@mari46327]

Same

[@sircumulonimbus]

Same!!!

[@Lifeangel2908]

I have hated Steve when I saw his attitude towards Miranda’s job and their financial dynamics and he changed a woman like Miranda who was always assertive and affirmative of her independence and was always critical to romance choices of her girl friends.

[@Chris.D.]

Thank God it's here! I haven't done the dishes in a week! Please upload every day otherwise I can't do any chores anymore!

[@insightsbyv]

🤣🤣🤣

[@animami-8]

I don’t think Miranda was wrong for hesitating to date the guy with a kid. As a single woman who makes it a point to not date men with kids, I get it. I’ve tried in the past and naturally the child comes before whoever the person is dating and I don’t want to play second fiddle. Her instincts were right bc the guy, of course, chose his kid. Keep the videos coming! I love them!

[@rejanrobinson8797]

I also feel like...kids are just a convenient excuse and many single fathers I've met use scheduling issues, that they claim are caused by their children to do things that are really just personally convenient for them, like pushing for intimacy early just to "fit it into their schedule." but not make it look as if that's what they're doing because of their image as a "father". Men are rarely ever the child's/children's primary caregiver anyway. Even if they have primary custody of the child/children there's usually ALWAYS someone available to help them if they need childcare or they can call a sitter, men make more money to be able to afford one anyway.

[@animami-8]

@@rejanrobinson8797 YES. 1000% agree and that’s why I don’t date dads lol not for me 🙅🏽‍♀️

[@RoseRose-hp4rq]

I have no kids because I knew I had never found the person that I wanted to spend my life with raising them so I just chose not to have any. It was just lucky in intuition that I knew it wasn’t for me. I’m in my 40s and date quite often but almost never date men with kids unless they are much much older, but even then, still I know that I will never be his number one. The child will always be his number one, which I respect, great if you are a great father I admire that. I just don’t wanna be part of the dynamic. I think that no matter how you slice it bringing kids into a new relationship is a form of baggage and I don’t have that baggage so I don’t want to deal with other people’s kids.Maybe that makes me selfish but I don’t care.

[@animami-8]

@@RoseRose-hp4rq Girl yeah! Like you always bring baggage to a new a relationship. It’s a given. Then you add kids on top of that?! It’s a no for me lol

[@silvijafoljan7107]

Aww, you are from Slovenia, I am from Serbia and we say: Gleda kao tele u šarena vrata 🙊 Love your videos, they meant so much to me in the past couple of months, more than my therapy sessions ❤️‍🩹

[@insightsbyv]

Ahahah znam, imam familije u Srbiji, i moji su iz Bosne🥰 Ja i sestra rodile smo se v Sloveniji😁 Drago mi je🤗

[@law11school11girly]

I love your vids - I always thought Big was such a player who never wanted something serious with Carrie & Carrie just deluded herself into thinking he would someday

[@jordantindall9497]

Having a rough couple of days and truly appreciate the joy I experienced when I saw your video posted! Thank you!!

[@hibaaqahmed9099]

I hope things get better for you soon

[@insightsbyv]

❤️

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

I think the through line is Miranda feels insecure in her femininity and secretly wants validation of that. So her not wanting to marry a divorced Dad is her insecurity about not being the 'hot one' who is the dream girl for the Prince, she feels like the guy men settle for. And then her allowing Steve to shame her is the 'I'm not feminine enough' thing, he was basically accusing her of not being nurturing enough, not feminine enough, and he knows she is very insecure about that.

[@insightsbyv]

Yeah makes sense.. there's some need for a 'fairytale' there

[@Sibila1983]

Yeah, society pressures successful women a lot so it causes them to feel insecure for not fitting in the traditional female role

[@NicoleSlays]

May I say.. The background looks phenomenal 😍 I throughly enjoy this series. Thank you for all your insights & commentary ❤

[@insightsbyv]

Thank you for the support!🤗✨️

[@FishareFriendsNotFood972]

23:00 Hmmm, I would say the gender essentialism goes both ways. I was raised by a single Dad, and he had problems getting support when dealing with parental burnout, like if he forgot to pack my lunch or something, instead of being told 'all parents have off days, it's ok', he got more of 'see, men are just not as natural at parenting as women'. He was constantly being told that he just needed to 'find a mom for his kids'. I do not think that was fair to him, he was a good parent. (For the record, I do not like gender essentialism. For anyone. I'm just saying both men and women get that messaging and we should speak out against it).

[@Natalie_11188]

This is true. Men are not praised for being kind and nurturing the way women are; there also isn’t the built in social support for men in caregiver roles the way there is for women.

[@insightsbyv]

Thank you for writing this✨️

[@Natalie_11188]

@@FishareFriendsNotFood972 you’re so right. Being a single parent is something our society assumes is a “woman’s” issue. There isn’t the built in social support or acknowledgement for men in the same position.

[@Keiks16]

I am 34 and I found out this year that I had low egg reserve for my age which very much means I don't have a lot of time. This also happened to two of my friends in their early 30s. Finding this out didn't make me feel rushed at all, but rather helped me weigh up my options because sadly, there isn't always time.

[@AudreysBrains]

The way I ran here 🏃‍♀️

[@mommabear1986]

😂😂😂

[@insightsbyv]

Makes me feel good knowing I inspire physical activities🤣❤️

[@marianagoncalves3529]

22:45 OMG, THIS WAS AMAZING!!!! I have never asked this question

[@taylormade9748]

Watching Sex and The City now at age 29. I realllly love Miranda! All the girls have their faults, but Miranda is a realist and comes across self-aware/self-assured. I really enjoying her

[@damnscar]

I love her too, but writers did her dirty, they destroyed her character 😭

[@shabyheltay]

So interesting how society /women have changed so much since this show came out. I watched it when it was first airing and Miranda was everyone's least favorite! The majority of women (including myself) wanted to be like Carrie and Charlotte.

[@mariatiscareno50]

V, you are priceless! Thank you for the humor, insights, life goals, etc. you made the drive to work so much better! Be well! Happy Friday! See you next time 🙌🏼🤗😊

[@insightsbyv]

Thank you, I'm happy I can help😁 Wish you an awesome weekend✨️🤗

[@mommabear1986]

Yay 🎉 I love your SATC coverage. I'm a total stan ❤

[@insightsbyv]

Yaaayy😁🤗

[@novalierossetti1617]

Got so hooked to your videos and you mentioned a few times you moved countries so I wondered where you're originally from and finally found out it's Slovenia, puno pozdrava iz Zagreba

[@insightsbyv]

Yess, I was born in Slovenia, lived in Italy for 5 years and now last 3 years in Sweden, and my origins are Serbian😁 When people ask me where I'm from, I never know which one to start with🤣🤣 Pozdrav v Zagreb🤗✨️

[@leaadelaide2206]

Love your commentary style!

[@viktoria5960]

I really appreciate your analysis ❤

[@mariakitaeva708]

i like how you refer to the viewer as Mary periodically:D

[@malinowabeza3712]

Awesome analysis as always! Can’t wait for the next video ❤

[@oneshotonehit6731]

Ok I have a confession to make: I'm still friends with some of my exes because I use them for favors 😅 Also none of my relationship ended with a huge fight, it was always something like "I don't want to be in this relationship anymore" and then a couple of months of sadness. We're not attracted to each other romantically, because we were friends during relationship it was easy for us to stay friends, just maybe more distant now. So we call each other when we need something or casually meet for coffee. We're even still friends on socials 😅

[@Samantha2209]

A confession indeed!

[@insightsbyv]

🫢🤣

[@ravenkushner]

I could be wrong since I don't know you or the exes, but I think they do favors because there's still a level of attraction there. Attraction and love inspire people to do favors and go out of their way to help. Most of us sense this deep down and we know when we can use them for stuff. There's nothing wrong with it as long as their new partners don't mind, but if I were the new partner, I'd probably mind. :)

[@thirstwithoutborders995]

I think the "used" comment was a bit tongue in cheek by the writers, because back in the day (and today) people used to talk like that about single mothers. Maybe it was also supposed to show another instance of Miranda not being nurturing or womanly. (With anyone but Steve, for some reason. With hin, she acts like a little girl...)

[@denisedaniel9010]

You are incredibly wise! I love your content!

[@raquelanselmo6198]

Hello V! I love watching your videos and listening to your insights :) I don't fully agree with the perspective on the beginning of the video about not being worried about not having kids and with the biological pressure of it. Although i think its unealthy to be consumed with those worries, i also think its okay to worry about them and most of all, necessary. If a woman wants to have children its necessary to think about it and plan ahead and its 100% real that fertility decreases with age (although we have lots of options with fertility treatments and with IVF). Im a healthcare professional and I have met women with the most diverse backgrounds and life experiences and having (or not having) children is always a sensitive topic. I have met women that desired children and unfortunately they had problems or couldn't find the right partner and when they tried to get pregnant by themselves it was already a bit late (not 100% true for everyone ofc). Planning, worrying and thinking about it is okay if you're not consumed by it. We do have a biological window and unfortunately we have to worry about it more than men, and if it is your life goal or dream to have kids you should totally plan ahead of time. This doesn't mean that you should be in a hurry to marry someone whom you don't have feelings for and is not the right person for you or that you should force yourself when its not the right time... but maybe its good to plan ahead, realize that there is never a 100% perfect timing, do fertility screening in your 20's and stop thinking that you still have a lot of time because sometimes you discover that you have fertility problems very late and that can make it very hard to conceive... Anyways just my thoughts

[@chelsiruiz1886]

My husband wants me to make more money than him and be more successful in what i enjoy because he believes in me. That's something that Steve didn’t do in the beginning.

[@diannholland]

My Ex hubs his wife and My Mr Man and I are GREAT friends. We came to an understanding that what happened in the past is water under the bridge. It is a MUCH longer story than that. but it works for us. We also all know how rare this relationship is, because being friends with your ex and their new partner does not happen all the time. Her ex-husband is still a jerk, But to be fair, he has always been a jerk. I just love seeing my Ex and her SO happy together.

[@MeggieMooBear]

I hated Steve from the jump for the exact thing you pointed out in this video - he scolds her. Their first meeting was him scolding her for not being polite enough. Then he ignored her boundary of "this was a one-night-stand". Immediate no.

[@sierrabarry6864]

I watched (while doing chores) all your SatC vids in a week lol loved them. I needed to hear your words

[@hipnhappenin]

Yay! Thanks for making waking up at 530am tolerable today

[@BetaBetaZZ]

Low self-steam and desperate are a scary combo. It can honestly not hurt yourself, but other people too.

[@annemarson4144]

The crop rotation line is gold, tho.

[@i3mma]

Great analysis! Liked. Sidenote, where is that t-shirt from? :)

[@insightsbyv]

Thank youu🤗It's from Weekday✨️

[@i3mma]

@@insightsbyv Thanks!

[@nicolecepero-rai5903]

Book recs: Dean Koontz- From the Corner of His Eye Watchers Odd Thomas series (7 books Deborah Harkness- All Souls series (currently 4 books I think soon to be 5) Piper CJ - The Night and It’s Moon series (4 books) No Other Gods series (the first book is out, but she’s working on the rest) Anne Rice- the Vampire Chronicles (an oldie but a goodie, a lot of books, go in order! Book 3 Queen of the Damned is my favorite) Happy reading!

[@insightsbyv]

Waaa thank youu, going on the list🤗✨️

[@alevtinabor3984]

I feel that Miranda needed a much better writing and deserved much better. She is actually a real role model

[@martabaski8967]

we also have that saying in Hungarian, but instead of a bull, it is a calf! "looks at it like a calf at a new gate"! néz rá, mint borjú az új kapura

[@barborasulcova7000]

Same in Czech republic

[@insightsbyv]

It's actually a calf also in Slovenian🤭 Bad translation🤣

[@ariadna7189]

Same in Romania "ca vițelul la poartă nouă"

[@THutch80]

11:34 You would like my book, Broken Petals by Tasha Hutchison. It’s a story that explores the complexity of friendship, love, legacy, & death as a young woman with Huntington’s disease goes on a journey of self-discovery.

[@lizziebennet2084]

I don’t understand been friends with an ex. It have never happened to me, and I think I could never, haha. Because when there is a breakup, that’s always someone who is hurt. Unless the break up happened because the two people are too friends and not romantic and passionate anymore.

[@ravenkushner]

Great video! I side with Miranda in the idea of not being "friends" with exes. Friendly, yes; friends, no. If you were attracted to them at some point, you can be attracted to them again, and there will always be a little tiny feeling of ownership over them which can interfere with new relationships - both theirs and mine. I agree with your dislike of the writing here, which is too blamey towards the woman. There was no need for Miranda to feel guilty for running away from Steve, nor any obligation to interact with him after the breakup. He dumped her without any discussion. That being said, I did like them as a couple because he softened her, while she inspired him to be more ambitious. In that sense, they were the couple that had the most profound effect on one another (with Charlotte and Harry being a close second).

[@zoeey14_]

I personally didn't like them together, I'm on season 3 and I just feel like he's to much of a child he's irresponsible and Miranda was basically his mom and I'm sorry but if I see poopy underwear I'm OUT, you cant even wipe your own ass but want a baby be so for real rn, Miranda deserves better.

[@hibaaqahmed9099]

Yeah that bit was weird lol unless my partner is sick and then has an accident, I wouldn’t clean up his skid marked underwear 😩 I really think that kills the romance part. I’m your caretaker now.

[@insightsbyv]

🤣🤣

[@TJ-oi5cr]

Kak šok je bil slišat "kot tele v nova vrata" hahah! Obožujem tvoje videje

[@Tinerila]

18:32 in romanian also "ca boul la poarta noua" 😅

[@ox-po363]

I'm Russian and I'm learning Slovak. I understood your phrase. :D I knew in my guts you are a Slavic person. :D I recommend The Gray House by Mariam Petrosyan, The Slynx by Tatyana Tolstaya, To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Stanisław Lem and Strugatsky brothers are cool writers. Non-fictional literature. Pale Blue Dot: A Vision of the Human Future in Space by Carl Sagan. Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman! by Richard Feynman Off topic. Have you heard of the Interslavic language? I love your channel and videos so much! It helped me go through a hard break-up. Thank you so much! ❤

[@MalloryNewcomb]

18:41 I was starting to hear a voice like Melania Trump when you spoke at times… so I’m like yes I had it right that you’re from Slovenia! That makes sense now

[@insightsbyv]

🤣🤣

[@britvica]

Not Melanie trump😂

[@anetakokoszka8030]

I love your channel and your observations 💚 I hated that part when Steve knocked at her door and said : It's ME. STEEEVE. If that was not "pick me" then I don't know what was it 😅 Btw, I like your accent as well. It's italian?

[@insightsbyv]

I guess Slovenian, but I did live in Italy for 5 years😁 Ufff that part infuriated me.. but I guess I made it obvious in the video🤣 Thank you🤗✨️

[@indiat.7242]

I can’t lie V lol I felt Miranda about the guy being used, I fully felt that way when I wasn’t a mom. I would NEVER take a guy with a child serious back then and I’d respect a guy who felt the same now that I am a mom ☺️

[@insightsbyv]

You need to consider that for sure

[@indiat.7242]

@@insightsbyv You definitely gave me a different perspective as always! 🫶🏾

[@knitwitchpgh]

"Girlfriend on mars" is my current read! Good fiction. Im also reading Jeanette McCurdys book "im glad my mom died" it's very very good but TW for sure. Its deep ive been working on it for a year.

[@insightsbyv]

Mm, that sounds interesting...

[@reginafromrio]

@24:00 roght it's ok for a man to come home, watch tv and have a few drinks but when a woman does it, she's a negligent mother, even though she also worked all day.

[@insightsbyv]

Yup, sucks

[@AuroraM-sf9li]

book suggestions: the devabad trilogy by s.a. chakraborty!!! so good! also in a similar setting but a little less grown up, rebel of the sands trilogy by alwyn hamilton

[@reginafromrio]

I wouldn't go to someone's door to talk to them... Might leave it for a phone call.... Less invasive, but I have a lot of respect for Steve for calling her out. He didn't "make" her feel like a bad person. That's not how that works. He just came to say he acknowledged it and his feelings were hurt. Yeah, he was an a hole for cheating. He's not a manipulative partner, that I saw anyway. He was her rock in a lot of ways.

[@salvadorp9141]

I had a friends with benefits once… we’re getting married in October.

[@agata4826]

We have the same saying in polish: jak cielę na malowane wrota 😅

[@JasminDolly]

Youre a genius honestly

[@insightsbyv]

As long as we all have fun while we learn😁✨️

[@reginafromrio]

I've been friends with , make that 4 exes. It's great, actually! We've known each other for so many years and still have love but mutually agree we don't work in a relationship. There's no strange business either. I guess I'm lucky to have good friends.❤

[@reginafromrio]

I fell in love with and married my perfect man in two months. He was everything I wanted and I was everything he wanted. Well, get to know them a little better. There's my recycled mistake advice😅

[@toriyt2714]

Men and women aren’t friends. One or the other wants it to be something more always. Or at the very least a guy will sleep with you if it’s an option and you don’t sleep with friends that’s not definition of friendship 😂.

[@mesCheerios]

as a bisexuak woman guess i better lock myself up then eh

[@peppermintxs0]

My hate for Steve is so extreme i swear to god he was just as bad a big, the amount of mental and emotional manipulation he put her through for all those seasons and movies

[@zoeey14_]

Read the bridgerton books!

[@Kamilya-t5b]

Yeee new video ❤

[@meliponaplays]

I have ALWAYS wondered what Steve meant by "I held your head while you were sleeping" like... so creepy and bizarre? I truly just don't understand their exchange

[@katja3923]

Steve is full of cr..p! He cheated on Miranda after she changed entire life for him and moved to Brooklyn! And took care of his old mother, he cheated only because she was extremely stressted at work and with household and she was the only one responsable

[@cindyamaral3949]

Steve bothers me a lot. He wants a relationship, he wants a family, he wants a house but never put in any effort to make it work. He dumped everything on Miranda's shoulders. Even the ambition to open a bar fell on Miranda, because he wasn't going to ever do it. Same with his cancer scare, it all falls on her to resolve.

[@insightsbyv]

Uff I cannot wait to get to THAT part🧐

[@regilau]

Did you say Hobbit? 😍❤ Ok so fantasy books per chance? ☺️ Try ANY Terry Pratchett books if you like fantasy and silly humour, i started with small gods and i think thats a good first Terry Pratchett book to start with. A bit less funny but really good are the Red Rising trilogy 😚👌🏼❤ such good characters, its a bit more sci fy ehich im not always a fan if but this is excellent. If you want more just let me know 😬🙋🏼‍♀️

[@insightsbyv]

Aii thank you, will look into it for sure🥰

[@oneshotonehit6731]

"Bull at a new door" I'm laughing so hard now, because in Ukraine we have "to look like a male sheep at a new gate" 😂😂

[@nataliianezhynska5119]

We have "a bull to a new door" too in Russian in Ukrainian 😅

[@insightsbyv]

It's the Slavic languages I guess 😁

[@Fliegenpilz_Pilz]

Did you ever read a book from German author Andreas Eschbach? I love his fiction books. 📕 📚

[@insightsbyv]

No haven't, thank you for the recommendation!✨️

[@igoinsquares]

Hi, I am new here. I am having a lot of fun with you Videos. Could you do Grey's Anatomy next?

[@insightsbyv]

Welcome!🤗 Lets see, I have some other things in the pipeline right now🤭✨️

[@kesha0727]

Miranda was such an intelligent woman and I hated how she settled for the worse men. Steve portrayed as a good man but Steve was a hobosexual ( just needed a nice place to stay) He liked what Miranda provided for him. Just not publicly because of his ego.

[@insightsbyv]

Hmm, never heard that expression need to look into it😅

[@ireefree2024]

If you think SATC is cringe than you'll be shock with the spinoff. Especially Miranda is the worst. Even more than Carrie and that's almost impossible 😂. Back in the day I loved it but today both series are so cringe. Unbelievable but I still watch it like a car accident 😂.

[@insightsbyv]

Haven't seen it at all🤭

[@alevtinabor3984]

Steve is abusive as hell. He is always guilting her in these uneven relationships

[@insightsbyv]

Yeah, he's a bit sus...

[@Kikirrikiki]

Breakfast 😊

[@zojatrstenjakramadani]

WAIT YOURE SLOVENIAN

[@grethi8110]

oop! glad to know you too can't stand steve😂

[@insightsbyv]

Yup🤭

[@Tildeathido]

I think mirandas embarrassment is because she expressed herself to him

[@peppermintxs0]

I still believe he baby trapped her and tbh ever since she met him her life went to shit and she hated herself more than

[@TheAnitron]

Are you a relationship therapist? If not, you should be!

[@insightsbyv]

Nope, just interested in the topic😁

[@thisrandomperson2603]

I do not like Steve lol

[@Deepi_Deep]

pls be my therapist

[@veronikapop8161]

heey I undrestood “tele na vrata” I’m from Czech republic 😅😅🫶

[@insightsbyv]

Ahahahaha love it😁🤗

[@alevtinabor3984]

I feel that Miranda needed a much better writing and deserved much better. She is actually a real role model .