Divorce Lawyer Reveals 3 Behaviors That Destroy Relationships | James Sexton

In this short clip with Divorce Lawyer James Sexton he reveals 3 behaviors that destroy relationships, why being married to someone doesn't make you love them and more.
Check out the full interview I did with James: • Divorce Lawyer James S...
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[@dougbopst1]

Download the PDF of my memoir "From Felony to Fitness to Free" for FREE: dougbopst.com/FREE/ KZbin: kzbin.info/door/1xly1FdiIE2s8c5wUr2dgw Spotify: open.spotify.com/show/2kXk7ZbTzv4Lnf8lxLnnTn?si=940850e429184327 Apple: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adversity-advantage/id1496406333

[@ca8824]

“No one gives you love permanently. Your love is always on loan.” Counselor be straight spitting

[@williamcarter9066]

Life in general is on loan and who knows when our exploration date is up 😂😂😂 my best advice at 62 is to make sure that your doing more than taking up space on planet so when die you have no regrets or what if’s 😂😂😂

[@Eric-kn4yn]

Whats luv id luv a cream cake and coffee😂

[@tiamat_023]

Eureka! That’s amazing, how’d you find that out?!

[@annabanzon313]

Yes I just think some married people don't discipline themselves in general so their marriage suffers of course.

[@annabanzon313]

@raffpants618 I have seen this and feel same way unfortunately. I want to blame all the rejection I faced from men when I was younger.

[@leeboriack8054]

If you take your spouse for granted, demean them publicly or privately, you are sabotaging your marriage.

[@paulharrisonadventuregearm5457]

Wrong you need to be able to take each other for granted. True love is where you just simply be...it doesn't rely on much at all.. because you simply enjoy each other

[@jenreis3887]

Demeaning them in public or privately is disrespect….disrespect is toxic in relationships, it is the antithesis of connection as it creates distance. Two people certainly can just ‘be’ together but that takes time, trust, empathy and communication.

[@janeenharrison1953]

i hate when i see this in others.

[@hoderharris]

Started dating my wife when i was 16. Dated for 8 years. Have been married for 31 years. So 39 years together. Biggest advice i can give folkes is find someone who at the end of the day you genuinely respect , find attractive ( I know this sounds shallow ,but what i mean is i think its important for both parties to keep up with their health and try to look nice for the other) give each other space to develop interests and friends apart from you...thats it, thats my advice for a long relationship...love them, respect them, give them room to develop on their own .not saying this is easy and am truly sorry for everyone heart broken and sad......oh as an addendum, we have a no gross smell rule in front of each other, have had it since we were 16, am 54 now.( i think you know what i mean by gross smells ha) this is important for physical intimacy imo...and finally i am quick to compliment my wife for working hard or a great dinner etc,i think compliments are crazy important..

[@Matt-bg3bd]

Nailed it. And I know this because my ex wife didn’t do or let me do any of that. I hope to find what you have. You are a very lucky man.

[@hoderharris]

@@Matt-bg3bd hope you find it!

[@froggygreen2876]

Jesus is the one to turn to if you want unconditional love. We shouldn't look to spouses to give us the love that only Jesus can give us

[@hoderharris]

@@froggygreen2876 i believe you feel Gods love through other people. Jesus had friends who comforted him and was probably best friend with Martha and Mary,two women...God loves us by sending people in our lives to love us. Spouse, best friend, acquaintance it doesn't matter. I feel sad for you my friend as Christ hasnt hugged someone in over 2000 years so imo he sends others on his behalf...

[@b-41subject57]

Like no farting around each other? Or taking huge stinky dumps if you are by the bathroom and can hear everything?

[@FriendofDorothy]

This divorce lawyer is better at talking about relationships and marriage than 95% of the "experts" on the same topic on YT. And he didn't need to take 20 minutes to give a valuable and helpful answer to the questions he responded to. Excellent video, thx!

[@KnightyKnight]

Always follow the money. He's looking for more clients! Marriage solves the problem of not having a family. Marriage is the foundation of building a house.

[@PhantomFilmAustralia]

With the divorce rate the way it is, it obvious the marriage "experts" are horrible at their jobs.

[@Adakataba]

Nice video, I'm still struggling with the end of my 7-year relationship. My significant other, who I considered to be the love of my life, left me a month ago, and I can't seem to shake the constant thoughts of him. Despite my efforts to bring him back into my life, nothing has worked, and I feel frustrated and hopeless. I've tried to move on, but my heart still longs for her, and I don't see myself with anyone else. I apologize for sharing this here, but I just can't seem to stop missing him.

[@vivianMarvin-z6k]

It's hard to let go of someone you love; I went through a similar experience when my 12-year relationship ended. I tried everything to get him back, and eventually I had to turn to a spiritual counselor for assistance.

[@Adakataba]

Interesting! How did you locate a spiritual counsellor, and how can I get in touch with him most effectively?

[@vivianMarvin-z6k]

His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@vivianMarvin-z6k]

he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.

[@Adakataba]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤

[@cjwright79]

"Love is a bread that must be re-made daily"

[@melkerner]

Withholding of intimacy and sex. That will kill everything else.

[@bashiruddinahmad408]

2 years no sex from my wife..not even a kiss..

[@Jennifer-uh8th]

@@bashiruddinahmad408that’s unbelievable

[@Caleb85164]

@@bashiruddinahmad408leave her

[@jenster29]

​@@bashiruddinahmad408 years of no affection from husband so never wanted sex

[@jenreis3887]

When a husband doesn’t show up emotionally it is extremely difficult for a woman to feel safe emotionally! Emotionally safety is essential for intimacy, vulnerability and sex. When my partner works against me, I feel rejected and hurt. When he shows up as a parent and connects with our daughter and when he cheers me on and supports me I feel so much desire and gratitude for him. Unfortunately the majority of men do not learn how to do this, they learn how to ‘get’ a woman rather than how to ‘keep’ her. While women learn how to ‘keep’ a man… it often becomes extremely one sided and absolute exhausting, depleting and then disappointing for everyone!! No connection eventually results in no sex. That’s the cold hard truth dudes!

[@heathermetz6576]

1:18 “Successful marriages, they’re cheering for each other.”

[@CitySlickerButtKicker]

The problem lies in when the mom sacrifices her career and puts her life on hold to cheer him and the children on, leaving nothing of herself for them to cheer for her. Especially in religious marriages, women are told to live for her husband, so for most traditional marriages, its a one way street Cheer!

[@Billy-the-Kid]

@@CitySlickerButtKicker That can be a problem, but doesn't have to be if both feel ok with that.

[@draneesahmuhammad]

Kudos to the speaker for pointing out the difference between love as a feeling and love as action and intentional practice.

[@TheRedDevil_NC]

Loyalty sex and honesty . If you are missing one of those might as well file the papers

[@edp3202]

So no sex it's over?

[@podpatriot4442]

@@edp3202Yes

[@swisstrader]

No sex relationships are more common than most ppl think

[@edp3202]

@@swisstrader especially when they have kids.

[@podpatriot4442]

@@swisstraderTrue, but then they wonder why they end? Why put up with the drama, and not get at least something positive out of it??

[@nedthumberland]

I think fault-finding, increase in secrecy, and too laser-focused on "self" usually spell the end of it all.

[@nerifterafrnam4682]

Incidentally that spells narcissism.

[@miakamei1751]

That's ego.

[@ky7299]

It all comes down to one emotion: contempt. Every other negative emotion can be salvaged but not this one. If a person ever feels even a bit of this emotion for their partner the relation has already turned into a slow motion train wreck all but impossible to salvage. If you ever catch your partner feeling even a smidge of contempt for you brace yourself and prepare for the unavoidable end.

[@cb1623]

That can change.

[@ky7299]

@@cb1623 Not really. And even if you manage to thwart it, it will only be temporary. The feeling will come back stronger at your next mishap. You will be permanently living under the sword of Damocles.

[@citizn-xh7rv]

Emotions aren't permanent, they change and can be learned from. It doesn't have to lead to an unavoidable end but whether or not it leads to that all depends on the unique situation and couple. If couples couldn't survive contempt, then it wouldn't be possible for any couple to reconcile after cheating happens, yet so many couples are still able to work things out and continue on

[@echase416]

One of Dr John Gottman’s 4 Horsemen

[@jackthere]

My ex had contempt for me that was nothing more than the unforgiving anger she felt towards her father, mother, stepfather, and ex husband. All brutalized her in different ways. Sad, but I was in the crosshairs. There was no escape without escaping her completely

[@gwynnielsen5081]

I agree. The "cheerleader" should always be there. If you don't admire your mate's talents right from the start, you are with the wrong person.

[@chrisayers7625]

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. - Right out of the Bible.

[@immers2410]

But love is also for oneself in the form of healthy boundaries. Remember Hillel, “if I’m not for myself who will be, if I’m for myself alone who am I?” You need to love yourself first to be able to love others

[@sw6118]

With evangelicals acting like they do these days, the bible is the last place I’d look for anything.

[@ozb10]

​@@sw6118thats an excuse dude .

[@sw6118]

@@ozb10 the bible is their excuse? Lousy excuse.

[@ozb10]

@@sw6118 you're acting like them . Don't, the Bible is the truth, don't follow people

[@lilibethnieto55]

Everything is ending all the time….made me reflect on how to give and feel love….most of all love is a gift.❤

[@natureshorts6657]

In my own experience, *most* of the women I've dated were not capable of taking and reflecting on criticism of any form no matter how gentle, indirect, constructive, whatever. From experience, I have learned if someone cannot take criticism or reflect, a happy and healthy relationship with them is simply not possible.

[@mp81488]

I guess the longer you're with someone, the more faults you see. If the faults are innocent, then you should be able to joke about them. If you're serious all the time then it's only going one way. If the faults are not innocent, then you should be able to discuss them like grown adults, and rather than criticise, communicate properly to each other. I really think most people don't have a sense of humour, and this is why a lot of marriages end in divorce. You've got to be able to laugh AT each other, as well as with each other

[@samfeldman1508]

I learned long ago to only offer my opinion when asked. Then again, I’m divorced, so maybe that’s not the right solution?

[@ashleighperez6006]

This. My husband and I have been married for 6 years now and I remember him very cautiously giving me criticism on something in our relationship one day. I felt defensive at first but didn’t act on it and actually took the time to reflect and found he was right. I told him that I thought he was right and said I would work on it and the look of relief on his face was something else. He told me he was actually scared that if he said anything it would destroy our relationship because any time he tried to give criticism to women he had dated in the past they would blow up on him and the relationship would deteriorate rapidly from there. A lot of women take criticism far too personally.

[@ashleighperez6006]

@@cicin9313 it’s not spreading hate. It’s the experience of a lot of men and even women in relationships with other women. Men can be defensive too, of course, but women generally take it harder as they feel they do a great deal in the relationship and being criticized makes them feel unappreciated for the things they do right in the relationship.

[@sunkistbabe]

Can you give an example of what you are saying? It really depends on what you're being critical about, whether it's just a preference or something they really need to improve upon.

[@TheAgentmigs]

This guy has a GREAT outlook on marriage and life.

[@grateful7420]

I saw him in another podcast. Sadly he is divorced.

[@maam-yj8ph]

Build bridges not walls. Love does not necessarily build a strong bridge, but it can be a powerful motivation.

[@RedRiverRebel-u3q]

He is so right! I worked in nursing/assisted living homes and took care of dying people. At the end you aren't griping about money, stuff or past issues. They always talked about their wives/husbands, children, family/friends, memories from childhood and fun things they did. Most saw death as welcoming and couldn't wait to see their loved ones who had passed away. Remember that folks. Focus on the good and don't sweat the small stuff.

[@cb1623]

Being each other's fan, being in their corner, being a team.. yep that is the common denominator of all the solid marriages I see.

[@Heilungshilfe]

This wise advice by a lawyer (and I'm more than pleasantly surprised by a lawyer being so emotionally mature and intelligent). Love it!! Greetings from Austria

[@hoobeydoobey1267]

They're in each others court, cheering for them. Great quote and insight. I dated a girl for a long time over a long period of time due to us being in different states. She was back home, I'm away form home due to work. I came to realize I did everything to help her succeed including new ideas for her biz, which she didn't like, but did them with coaching and coaxing. They turned out to be profitable. I never got the same from her. If I summed up her overall view of me, it was spent watching to find fault with me. She did what she wanted, never pushing herself to do what she didn't want to do with me. It came to a point where I had to let it lie. We are the barest of friends today. When I wasn't home I figured she'd spend time with my parents. I returned home for my father's funeral and she neither came nor sent a condolence. She was focused on what she could get. In leaving it lie, I avoided a loveless, fruitless marriage with possible divorce.

[@lourdest6171]

I love this attorney! ❤

[@colinrussell2017]

He does a longer interview on the Soft White Underbelly channel. Highly recommended.

[@nsrayfield]

I like the way you describe criticism vs constructive criticism. Never thought of it that way. Makes total sense. Also, ‘feel loved’ and ‘feel loving’. Some good ‘food for thought’. Thank you for your insight

[@commentarytalk1446]

People mistake complaining and condemning for criticism. In truth, criticism IS always constructive if constructed correctly ie with logic and reasoning. Delivery is also important combined with that basis eg persuasion, compassion, trust because people are psychological not just rational. Most people however, react with feelings and complain/condemn and that's already wrong without ever first being right but poorly implemented...

[@jackdeniston59]

@@commentarytalk1446 Nope. Who are you to criticise? Really, your expertise? or are you just being destructive to better how you feel. Most criticism is to destroy. Except of course, in your case.

[@mattsmith1137]

Unfortunately love is forever and hopefully those you fall for aren’t toxic.

[@commentarytalk1446]

@@jackdeniston59 LLM bot? A string of words strung together like a corn dolly. Is that criticism or description or both or none at all?

[@aleciacrooks7554]

Feedback is a more neutral, even collaborative way to frame reflecting other’s behavior back to them. Criticism, complaining, and condemning are non collaborative or competitive. Words matter. Self awareness, too. Eg. Am I being competitive, controlling, avoidant, or collaborative when giving feedback to my partner? These are the four ways we resolve conflict. ❤️

[@chopperking1967]

I am a father. I will always give unconditional love to my kids.

[@mickaelsflow6774]

"We Need To Talk About Kevin" was a great discussion on that point. It's... not as obvious, but we want to believe it will be. Doable, but certainly not always easy or de facto.

[@09280215]

There's no such thing. Fist condition: it's your offspring. Second: will you still love a child if he turns into a monster who rape, torture and kill kids? Bit your wife, his mother? I don't think so.

[@smokingcrab2290]

Children are the ones you need to give unconditional love to. They are so vulnerable and they can't fend for themselves and they really really need you. An adult woman or an adult man does not need unconditional love because if you give them unconditional love they will never accept responsibility. And if they're not capable of accepting responsibility then they're not capable of being an adult and doing the things adults are required to do. It also means they're not capable of personal growth

[@Mingus8]

An adult who cannot handle fair, balanced constructive criticism from his partner is not mature enough for a relationship. It must first work on its ego.

[@smokingcrab2290]

*she must work on HER ego

[@chriswilson1968]

The only way it works is if both people put the other person first. You have to appreciate and be thankful for eachother. If you have that along with the trust and the intimacy then you will make it very far with that person. Take any of these things away and you're doomed.

[@jasontw5660]

What this guy is saying so so profound. Awesome advice.

[@willdean-stobie5730]

This was fantastic. Thank you both for sharing this with the world.

[@Becky_Cal]

6:03 - This!! I believe in love wholeheartedly but I am also a realist. He says it here and I completely agree. To go into something with rose colored glasses is just a waste of time, energy and lost opportunity for both parties. As he said, your life, body and love are all on loan. You have to put in effort and work to keep them healthy. Period.

[@ryanwolfe8578]

My only advice is that if you get a divorce, you and your spouse will be best served by agreeing on the terms. Lawyers take their share and live off the cost of hearings, mediations and take shares of the assets you and your spouse worked and sacrificed for.

[@Simonfrios]

Divorce proceedings should require two parties to agree to court. Just like marriages require a two way agreement.

[@Eric-kn4yn]

2 parties agree not when 85% of divorces instigated by female you buffoon

[@bashiruddinahmad408]

I'm headed for divorce my wife makes over 110K I'm unemployed she's a teacher with benefits..I need to lawyer up but don't have the money..in need of a low cost divorce lawyer in Los Angeles

[@bradturner7678]

People tend to give love how they want to receive it, not from what their partners want too, i always felt simply saying "i love you" to be hollow if it wasnt shown in day to day effort, but my woman would get very bent out of shape if i didnt say it often, to the point of arguing, now i make sure to say it frequently. And i did the same to her, spending time was all i ever wanted, and i conveyed it as best as i could, and it improved.

[@emilyr8976]

I always keep his opinion in the back of my mind when I navigate my relationship. Good sound advice.

[@pikejsp0]

This speaks to what is going on right now in my life. Wife and I both are at falt for these actions. I hope we make it through and don't get a divorce.

[@kimdenardo1076]

that is a huge piece - someone has to break the cycle - when you love someone it starts the spiral. showing kindness sparks the spiral going in the right direction

[@juliettailor1616]

On point about the media's awful portrayal of marriage being influential. Criticism needs tput delicately. Intimacy being so, so important. The wall metaphor was so right.

[@curlyteeth3097]

Yep starts off in your corner..... ends in your circle .....great interview of hard facts! ....rescue a dog!!! ...100% ❤

[@tommypowell1137]

“When you love someone in the verb sense, it inspires them to love you back”

[@MarsCamacho]

I have been listening to audio books, doing online seminars to understand love and healthy relationships and this attorney just dropped it all in such a profound and eloquent way. Could have saved me some $$ if I heard him first 😂😂

[@Astudent-hd7tv]

Watching this videos knowing I'm totally right about what it means by being in love. Unfortunately I met a guy who's so delusional that he believes love is all about feelings.

[@TRUTHandLIGHT4809]

Love is a choice. We are commanded to love everyone. Only by choice is that possible. Lust is all feelings

[@nataliaturner4845]

Imo, loyalty without any authentic feelings for each other is also not love - it's just going through the motions (treating the relationship like a job 🤷‍♀️).

[@TRUTHandLIGHT4809]

@@nataliaturner4845 need to get those feeling back. It's called working on the relationship. Besides, feeling matter not. It's a horrible excuse to go against your own vows

[@paulharrisonadventuregearm5457]

You have to be friends. Think of your best same sex friend and how easy it is to simply be with them. You need to simply like each other. It's not about what you constantly do for each other...that will always wax and wane. Material things gifts will not keep you together. The truest test is if you could happily be in solitary confinement with them and simply survive the experience because you have a knowing that you both like each other. You cannot give gifts or do much for each other...you simply only have their company

[@AndrewTannerMusic]

@@nataliaturner4845to only follow your feelings is just like being a leaf aimlessly blowing in the wind as it changes…it has no direction, no guidance, no plan of action…so how exactly is it going to get where it wants to go in life? It won’t. Just casually blowing here and there and wondering later in life why they never got where they wanted to go and always blamed everything and everyone else. Sounds like a smart person, right? (Sarcasm) 😂😂😂 Damn people are dumb af these days! You ladies need to wake tf up 😂😂😂 Come back to reality where we all live together. This isn’t fantasy land catered only to your feelings. That’s exceptionally foolish. Why even have a brain if feelings are more important? 🧐🤔 😂😂😂

[@daveyvane9431]

I’d always rather be “in like” than “in love”. Like has all the good things, without the assumptions, need and possessiveness

[@tjhammer24]

Entirely a male pov. 99%of women can't take this view.

[@froggygreen2876]

Jesus is the one to turn to if you want unconditional love. We shouldn't expect our spouses to make us happy, because only Jesus can make us truly happy in Him

[@AMAB-ef8ou]

For heavens sake. Take religion out of it!

[@lsporter88]

I agree with him. He's a wise Man. Great video.

[@mrtrump-pf1nx]

This guy is so positive and optimistic😂

[@jeffcauthen6434]

Yep. She told me she was tired of being my cheerleader! Nailed it!

[@IsAllAboutHealth]

This is the best relationship advise i heard. YTB sent me part of the same interview first. And I am like, sure l wonder what the lawyer have found. And now to the second video, this one. Thanks JS for sharing.

[@ADifferentVibe]

Quick story still on-going. I'm the one best of friends with this girl. We just click and talk about everything everyday. I told her how I felt we should be together. Honestly and straightforward. She told me she is with someone else but it is so complicated and doesn't know if she can stay with him. I know about it. She doesn't want me to fall in love with her while she is still sorting it out. Right now, I am waiting for either the right person I'm attracted to or her ready to be with me. It's something I don't take too seriously now but I'm on my purpose and hope the things I can't control will work out in my favor.

[@DouglasNicholson-ff6ep]

He said "I know people who are married, that don't love each other (in abundance)". LOL!

[@RP07662]

Love is wishy washy and hard to define. I like to say will you commit to this person and stay committed.

[@glenysshelton8898]

I agree with you marriage is where there’s commitment both on the partners and family and believing your united for each other…respecting it each looking out for each other in the bond of marriage is recognised as the ultimate love connection to each other and god

[@rodhoover9158]

Enjoyed the insights presented. Thank you both very much.

[@debraernst6751]

I lost my husband in death after 4 decades. He asked me at 22 to be his patron and I couldn’t have rubbed two nickels together. But I was always his big cheerleader and I financially supported him I. His artistic musical endeavors. Yes, marriage either ends by divorce or death. For us it ended by death and 6 years later, I would like a meaningful relationship I listen because I realize these days so many relationships fail and it is scary but I can’t close myself off.

[@andrew6815]

Listened to a few of these now but this one seems especially important to anyone and everyone. Commenting for the algorithm. Hopefully if gets more views

[@hawktchr8]

Love is a noun. Love is a verb. Love is a choice. Love is falling in love, over and over again, with the same person. (Married 36 yrs)

[@bobcharlotte8724]

I love this man

[@MrHousecup]

My wife's idea of being a good wife is being a good housekeeper, no matter how much I tell her that isn't what I want.

[@olgachertovskoy4714]

A lot of husbands’ idea of being a god husband, is providing for the family. And that is not enough to have a strong marriage and a loving relationship. A husband needs to put a lot more on the table than just money

[@grantcorbitt9517]

Well it is nice though

[@annemariewellhoff982]

Might be it would be more enlightening if u told her nicely what it is that is important for you 😅

[@MamaVana3]

At least she is doing that. My husband thinks i suck bcz i dont know how keep house clean. Did u tell her ur needs? I do everything i can still help focuses on the house being dirty lol and ignores the fact that i am raising three kids ages 1 , 3 and 4

[@HD-Australia]

Take her on a date once a month. Start becoming friends again

[@leoswoyer8348]

James Sexton's wisdom should be required for all people getting married. Besides, he has a great way of saying "each other" as one word!

[@shreya_sinha.]

You need to build a friendship, not jumping into bed after a couple of dates It takes time to see through people and saves you from being hurt

[@daveyvane9431]

I don’t think so

[@torachan23]

You expect a man to pay for things for years before ever even getting sex? Are you crazy? Your idea sounds great as long as the man never has to pay anything for the woman; no dates, trips, etc. You cool with that? Didn't think so. Expecting a man to court you for YEARS only for you to still be able to change your mind and ditch him is ridiculous

[@Pyrrhic537]

Jumping into bed is part or the learning process. Traditional is good in countries with traditional systems.

[@Pyrrhic537]

​@@torachan23A hundred dinner's, a hundred bills paid, a hundred gifts, a hundred shoulders to cry on and a peck on the cheek while the women is with other guy who pumps and dumps

[@Grungefan2018]

If you have sex on the third date while dating for years. Man “your number” is going to be astronomical. For a guy that makes him “the man” But for the woman .. it isn’t good and she gets labeled a s--

[@truemorris6695]

Who should do a podcast? This guy should

[@julijakeit]

Marriage can become transactional. Non marital relationships for women are too expensive as they are the ones to carry the children and pay with their life sometimes for this. For a man, any non marital intimate relationship is transactional hugely in his favor.

[@Billy-the-Kid]

Marriage was once upon a time designed to add more power and things together, not for loving each other. Look it up!

[@chopperking1967]

Love DOES need to be earned and maintained. It is far too valuable to be freely given to anyone other than your children.

[@Infomatic10]

Mutual admiration is majorly important

[@nadominhoca]

Absolutely right!

[@nadominhoca]

Absolutely right!

[@nadominhoca]

Absolutely right!

[@nadominhoca]

Absolutely right!

[@markrusso8546]

This gentleman should provide pre marriage counseling. Perhaps he does.

[@JohnSmith-vr3xr]

The feeling of love fuels the verb of love. It gives you energy and strength beyond you.

[@susanburrows810]

It helps tremendously if the feeling of love❤ is for God and what He did on the cross FOR YOU & continues with His Spirit living inside you. Feeling vibrant appreciation for Him allows you to share that love in action & thought with others! We can never repay God but we can pass it ( His grace, kindness, & sacrifice) on and on.😊🙏🔩

[@bapparawal2457]

Agreed. Love is good . But also be a realist. Relationships /Marriages will require efforts . Lots of time people perceive different things. Its effort to communicate . Its effort to make time when you want to spend some me time. Its effort to understand each other.

[@BADLMNOP]

Conditional love isn’t love. Romantic love doesn’t last. Love you first and foremostz

[@sinistermephisto65]

"Conditional love isn't love" What nonsense is this?

[@rajsel8761]

​@@sinistermephisto65kuz it's not TRUE LOVE! -PARENTS TURELY LOVE their children Between a women & man, women will only love her man on condition he provides & protects. How many women will let a guy flipping burgers at McDonald's date and marry her?? BUT.....Men don't care about a women's job

[@BADLMNOP]

@@sinistermephisto65read ‘a course in miracles.’ I’m not about to explain what is deep but obvious. If love were conditional, we’d all be f’d.

[@nikajsify]

@rajasel. That is actually not true and one of the biggest myths ever asif a love from a parent to a child is unconditional. It isnt. We the parents get a lot of love from our children, thats why we love them. It starts from very early, like just holding the baby and it stops crying. Child being scared and running to you. No love is unconditional. We always need something back.

[@Pingvin666]

​@@nikajsify go check yourself. I love my child uncoditionaly, it will be forever my boy. I cant say this for his mother

[@theJOYHOUSETV]

Wise words❤️🙏❤️Thx

[@oambitiousone7100]

And when love is ONLY a feeling or ONLY a verb… it’s incomplete.

[@dos32zh]

This is one one the best vids ever! Full of Keys!

[@kdeloris2225]

James is a good talker❤

[@stevetonnesen3666]

I do not know whether or not you are even aware of this, but you are doing the work of God.

[@CorollaryAccoub]

1. When you stop rooting for each other. Eye-rolling and bitterness is not normal, even if you see it a lot in media. 2. Death of Intimacy: Being able to fully be yourself. If you don't always fight to dismantle walls, they become impenetrable 3. Forgetting love is a verb. Wake up every day and fight to love them or you will get in a vicious cycle. Set up virtuous cycles instead.

[@ReadingF.758]

Mr. Sexton has great wisdom.

[@SKBottom]

All you need is love? I'm sorry, but that is wrong. You need both love and workability. You need love and the ability to recognize and work on problem spots in the relationship that pop up occasionally. That said, this guy would make a great counselor.

[@juliettailor1616]

That is all part of love. If you love someone you will work on the relationship.

[@SKBottom]

​@juliettailor161 you are either very young or very inexperienced. That is not true. Not at all.

[@jonathandavis9507]

Did you watch the whole video ? Lol

[@angelapolsinelli2766]

Idk…but can we talk about how articulate and gorgeous this man is?

[@foldby37]

One definition love can be. Capitalising on your partner's best intrests.

[@faithsrvtrip8768]

Love is a verb. Love is what you do it isn't a feeling. Love is a conscious choice you make, or not.

[@Anieareyouok]

Being somebody’s biggest cheerleader and then being taken for granted and under appreciated right after saying I do, Is one of the worst feelings. I left him and I’m now on a journey of self love, So no matter who enters or leaves my life I’ll always love my self. Self love first. Love is borrowed🤍

[@michelleeriksen6816]

Love isn't just a feeling, its a choice. My love is permanently gifted to my husband because I will honestly forgive him no matter what he does. That's what Christ did for us, so I'll do that for him as well. When we are no longer married in heaven because we died 😂 I will still love him!!

[@suzi7992]

I'd love to see a podcast with this lawyer and John Gottman!

[@jdstep97]

One of the people I most care about in the world is my ex spouse. We're good friends, not good at being married to each other.

[@lanieh6900]

Same thing this attorney says hahaha he's also Divorced

[@jennifervaughn1541]

I think I disagree with him that love is an emotion. No love is a decision. It is a choice.. it is a commitment. yes you may have feelings that come along with that but love is so much more than just feelings

[@christins.1481]

True. Might as well toss marriage and relationships out the window then since love is just an emotion. Everyone LOVES sex. So they might as well be having sex with everyone, but they don't, because many "love" their partner. They love their partner so much they won't stray, showing that love us more than just emotions.

[@soph1epapakon]

That's why he also later said that love is a verb and you need to take action to show someone that you love them.

[@frankmazzie4855]

LOVE IS AN ACTION ...END OF STORY.

[@VanityDivined]

Don’t treat your spouse with contempt? Who knew? 😂

[@MichaelPrudhomme-u7x]

The death spiral. I felt that. I would often look at my wife and realize that she wants to be loved but she is not lovable. I wish she knew how willing I was to try and improve. 13 years and two children later, divorce is less than 60 days away; her mind made up. I lived though this as a boy and now it repeats with me as an older man. I've heard it elsewhere that by the time she comes to you with "divorce" she has already been thinking of it for years. She has processed it and grieved. It just hits you like a brick house and you are a million miles behind emotionally. I am not sure what the answer is except for men the marriage is identity and foundation so they will endure and endure without setting a red line. That may have worked before the 60's but as we find in modernity men and women no longer need each other. Money and self are the top of the pyramid. 55% divorce rate and climbing until, perhaps, people realize that tradition is established by the dead. People long ago who had very different life circumstances. We need to stop listening to the dead. Make a new path. What that is I do not know. 'Til death do us part ain't it. Perhaps, until I no longer love you so you both know that it is ending and it is just a question of "when" so you keep it real, keep it honest, and can be yourself. That just may keep it going.

[@KnightyKnight]

I love this guy 😂

[@samfeldman1508]

Overtime do faults in your partner become more pronounced and irritating and their good traits diminish? If so, any tricks to “ right that ship” so you can remain a cheerleader?

[@LCarefortheworld]

This divorce lawyer gives excellent advices. Maybe he should switch his career to relationship counseling 😂

[@keithkolozsy1618]

Great video with refreshing insights and spot on statements. Loved your assertion that love is a verb. Ultimately, it’s a choice to do what is in another person‘s best interest even when we don’t feel like it. We can love someone every day, even if we don’t like what they do or whether or not we even like them. Bottom line,… it’s a choice. Be the love, model, the love, and it’ll come back… We have to break the cycle because most people are not very good at it.

[@BirdDogey1]

Tip for women...don't try to help your husband by fixing them.

[@t-pain3343]

I’m convinced that a sizable portion of the population isn’t cutout for a marriage that spans decades til death. With 2 income earners, it’s just too easy to jump ship and start over. The alarming part is that each successive marriage has a higher and higher fail rate.

[@KM-om1dy]

Brilliantly stated 🌟

[@joannajohnson696]

James Sexton why don't you just have your own KZbin channel?

[@t-pain3343]

Way easier to just be interviewed and gain a following that way

[@angelagraczyk2123]

Lovely law man. I always enjoy his insight.

[@Rhodes8926]

This was so good.

[@leonniceday6807]

Seems like an amazingly smart guy.

[@gregorylatta8159]

Good points being made here.

[@mysterio1570]

What James is saying is that Love is undconditional.

[@edp3202]

No. He's saying love IS conditional especially when it's a contractual relationship.

[@npkrn6764]

No he's not saying that at all. He said it's "on loan". Nothing is a given. Nothing and no one should be taken for granted - yet people do this all the time; hence the divorce statistics.

[@SmokeyJoe876]

Love is only loaned to you....THAT is profound.

[@tallspicy]

I agree that you should be a cheerleader, but not at the detriment of being a good team member. You have to have both skills.