Feeling like you're Never Good Enough?

[@trevscribbles]

35 years of feeling inadequate. 18 years of addiction to mask it. And today I'm 10 months & 11 days sober with the realisation that the booze was simply a cosmetic affection covering a wound that required care & attention. I still don't wear self-esteem very comfortably, but I'm growing into it one day at a time 🙂 Good luck everybody!

[@nymeria941]

Hey, congratulations! Proud of you.

[@BandChoirChick09]

That is awesome! Keep up the good and hard work. You’ve got this!

[@shaunnarochelle]

good on you ! ❤

[@foxiefair123]

Great!😃Keep up the good work. The more time you put between you and your last drink the easier it gets. One day at a time, that’s how I stayed sober for 10 years. You can do it, too!🥳

[@trevscribbles]

@@foxiefair123 10 years... with any luck I'll be able to say the same thing to someone in early recovery some day. Thank you 😌

[@grace_koh]

I used to be afraid of failing. It all changed when I tried learning crochet during the pandemic. I kept failing at the basics, my right hand and left hand did not seem to cooperate. I failed so many times that I almost burst into tears. But instead of branding myself as a failure, I kept going. It's been 4 years now and I have completed a number of projects. Each time I fail now, I remind myself that I can do it, I just need practice.

[@IrishMexican]

Same situation with me and coding

[@grace_koh]

@@IrishMexican Haha, I'm now learning Python too, but I struggle less than I did with crochet.

[@littlewillowlinda]

Crochet homies ftw. Its the only art form that I don’t feel pressure to get it on the first try

[@grace_koh]

@@littlewillowlinda Ikr. It's been years but I still mess up every now and then.😅 But I keep trying again and again. My younger self would never believed I could be this resilient.

[@sammythehamster9093]

I make few mistakes in crochet but I don't mind as I can either redo or leave it. I'm currently learning how to code. I understand the principle but don't have confidence to write my own code. I can modify example code. Self doubts creeps in everything I do only way to overcome is to physical do the work.

[@57msdeb]

A childhood filled with neglect made me feel as though I had no value. Always alone, always hungry, always the one with a no show parent.

[@thundrtkr8910]

I’ve had a crayon in my hand my whole life, I put it down when I hit 18 and stopped drawing because I needed to ‘make something of myself.’ I’m 30 now, and I picked up a crayon again and I’m drawing up a storm. And everytime someone sees one of my drawings they’re shocked that came from me. I struggle so much with being judged, but when I draw I am in this beautiful world that is flooded with self love and pride and I know people get joy from my art… I am good enough, today. I will try to remember that today I’m good enough.

[@AmyMichelleMosier]

This is the same thing with my poetry.

[@annoar9776]

You are good enough today and every other day as well.

[@77yggfe12ujn]

Sounds like you found your calling. Noone needs to be good at everything. Having artistic skills is a dream for many ☺️

[@juliaskagfjord6207]

Wow this is incredible. This seems to allude to the fact that artists are receiving a gift from a higher place just by practicing their talent

[@millennialwoman4680]

Not feeling good enough for me is rooted in a childhood filled with rejection from family, peers, teachers. Been carrying it for over 45 years

[@dottieresnick6691]

I feel your pain. I’m almost 70 and still feel like this. So sorry 🤗

[@sandrainontario6710]

Another KZbinr invented the word GETMO which stands for good enough to move on. I think of that word a lot and it really helps.

[@catzrule5973]

Thank you Sandra in Ontario. That makes sense to me. I've been so stuck, but I think this will help me move on. 🧡🌻

[@warrenburke9137]

Thank you for sharing that thought

[@RusPitman]

Similar to “finished, not perfect”

[@MinsHome361]

That's so useful. Thank you 🌻

[@WoodnetRonnie]

Watching this mesmerizing video dredges up painful memories of the recent dissolution of my 4 year relationship. The departure of my beloved, the one I adore deeply, has left me in a perpetual state of longing. Despite my tireless attempts at reconciliation, I find myself mired in frustration, unable to shake the persistent thoughts of her. Despite my efforts to move forward, I'm compelled to share my inner turmoil and the overwhelming sense of missing her here.

[@Roselinekendris]

Letting go of someone you love deeply presents a formidable challenge. I faced a comparable ordeal when my 6 year relationship ended. Refusing to succumb to despair, I relentlessly pursued avenues to reconcile with him. Ultimately, I sought solace and guidance from a spiritual counselor, whose intervention proved instrumental in restoring our connection.

[@WoodnetRonnie]

Remarkable! How did you discover a spiritual counselor, and what's the procedure for me to get in contact with her?

[@Roselinekendris]

Meet Suzanne Ann Walters, a renowned spiritual counselor acclaimed for her talent in bringing back ex-partners.

[@WoodnetRonnie]

Many thanks for providing this valuable information; I've just conducted an online search for her.

[@amandabridget8706]

My journey with this question can be summed up with the dishes. When I was young my mom made me feel like I was never good enough. I, as a 10 year old, could voluntarily wash all the dishes and clean the kitchen hoping to please her. But she would scan the room for anything I hadn't done. “You didn't wipe the stove.” If I wiped the stove, “you didn't sweep the floor,” etc. She was incapable of telling me I had done a good job. And I hated the dishes. When I grew up I kept hating the dishes. I avoided them and they were never done, and of course that enforced that it was an unconquerable task. But oddly enough it was when I was very depressed that I had a breakthrough. I COULDN'T get it all done, so I decided to break it up into small parts. I put the clean dishes away. Then I washed the cups. Then the plates. Etc. I could take a break between parts. I could get 3 parts done even if it wasn't all of the dishes. I had done something. It was better than nothing. And eventually by doing small achievable parts I got to where I could finish them. And when I realized I didn't have to perfectly complete every single piece together I also realized that this was an achievable task. I could do it. Now, for the most part, I keep my dishes washed every day. It's not too difficult and I don't hate it. I just had to learn that I didn't have to live up to impossible standards. And the irony of being able to do what I couldn't when I tried to be perfect was not lost on me. When the burden is lighter you can genuinely do more.

[@ChiomasHealthHub]

Thanks for sharing

[@beyondthebop]

I’m so happy for you, keep going!☀️

[@nuynobi]

Your mom sounds like my wife. Whether it's cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, gift giving, even driving, she will *_ALWAYS_* find something wrong with what I've done. I get it, I'm not perfect. But neither is she, and I don't shove her nose in it every time she doesn't even meet _her own_ standards. If it's a chore or something, it's annoying and pisses me off. But when it's something that I've put some personal investment into, like a gift or a meal I've cooked, then it hurts my feelings. Either way, the message I receive day in and day out is "you're not good enough".

[@elizabethwall8063]

Nuynobi, have you told your wife how that makes you feel? It could be she’s just repeating a pattern she saw growing up, like one of her parents talked to the other that way. I hope hearing how much it upsets you makes her realize she needs to change her behavior. No one should be constantly criticized like that. To the original poster, I’m sorry your mother was so critical too. As a mother myself, it makes me very sad that so many people grow up without the love and support they need. I try to help my kids feel like they’re “good enough,” especially when they make an extra effort like you did for your mom. It breaks my heart that she wouldn’t be touched by that. Or maybe she was, but because of her own past trauma, she was unable to express it. Either way, good for you for learning how to get past that paralysis of perfectionism and get things done on your own terms!

[@nuynobi]

@@elizabethwall8063 Indeed I have, countless times. Her usual refrain is "I'm just expressing my feelings and your invalidating them", to which I reply "it's ok to express your feelings but _how_ you're expressing them is inappropriate because you're being careless with _my_ feelings". And I remind her that she'd get better results from me by giving kind and respectful constructive criticism instead of her usual callous fault-finding. Marriage is hard and it's a work in progress. And it's not like I'm always perfectly kind and respectful either. We'll hopefully figure it out by the time we're old and grey. Thanks for being empathetic to a random stranger venting on the internet. Cheers. PS: It's also worth noting that my mom was like that too and so I must have chosen my wife because she matched the pattern I saw in childhood. (She shares numerous positive traits with my mother too.)

[@bibiclark3042]

I suffered from perfectionism for many years. It was traumatic. Then one day I asked my self: what does perfection look like? Show me, so I know what to aim for! ….. and I couldn’t. Perfection was something nebulous and vague. How can you aim for that? I recognized the craziness in it and utterly rejected the entire idea. It was totally freeing . It took a while to remind myself of that experience, but I think I am mostly free of perfectionism now and I aim for good enough. Feels wonderful!

[@CarlosReveles]

Actually laughed with the couch story, so thank you for that! Deleted this comment at first because I thought no one would care for what I have to say. But here it is, in all it's glory, otherwise I would have wasted 16m20s of my life and some pretty good content (story + advice!).

[@melissa9842-p4v]

I often feel like no one will care what I have to say too. You're not alone on that one!

[@tkontuk]

Reading your comment and caring about what you say!

[@klvfu]

I also loved it… made me laugh a lot!

[@ilyahohenstein692]

“They’re accountable for reinforcing negative messaging over and over again, but you’re responsible for what you continue to believe, what you continue to feel.” This is such a wonderful way to put it.

[@jiji_arra]

Literally being a perfectionist but not even realizing I am a perfectionist because I am not perfect enough… that was a wild trip. Thanks for the tips.

[@amasterofone]

"Perfectionism also looks like withdrawing from people and opportunities because we're afraid of messing up" 😦Stopped me dead. Had to pause and go back and listen to this like 5 times. I had an abusive first marriage and have internalized a lot of the emotional and mental abuse. I'm now working through it in therapy but it has manifested in all areas of my life for two decades. In the last few years I've almost become a shut in, which is not in my nature. I want to be out living life but I'm just so scared.

[@Star-dj1kw]

I resonate with your comment 💓

[@ikeincognitus8606]

Honestly the couch story put the biggest smile on my face

[@cindyvelez8158]

It was a great analogy

[@Piecesoftheshadow]

Not feeling good enough for me came from many places and it was always external. Religion, society, family unintentionally, my peers. I internalised all their expectations and repressed parts of myself. This all kept feeding into that monster inside that reminded I “wasn’t good enough” for one reason or another even if I felt deep down it wasn’t true. Conditioning from your entire life feels impossible to break free from.

[@JohnM...]

Problem is, feeling unworthy or not good enough is in the depths of the subconscious, so it’s not easy to ‘remove’ it. 😢

[@veedinma]

It isn’t at all John🤧. What i’ve found is that Jesus is genuinely helping me, I’m learning to lean on Him to be better one step and one day at a time. God bless and help you too 🙏

[@fredericlarsen4698]

I have commented elsewhere in this thread regarding my journey of 8 decades dealing with this stuff. I have tried to deal with the dilemma you cite in this way: I call the "former" iteration of me that didn't work very well, Version 1.0. You're right, I can't erase Version 1.0. But, I can "recode" the information and choices upon which Version 1.0 was built. 1.0 is always there on the shelf, ready to be "loaded" if I make that choice. I've decided I cannot "erase" it. But, the "under construction" Version 2.0 (which cannot overwrite or erase Version 1.0) is also available every morning when I wake up. Whether I'm willing to acknowledge it or not, I choose every morning which version to "load". I cannot "unbecome" who I have been for all my life. but I can replace who I have been with a different iteration of "me", building one step at a time, always aware of the choices I have regarding which "version" I'll use. In my early 80's there's a lot of stuff I can no longer do or be. The only minute I can impact is the one I currently occupy, but I get only 1 minute to do that, but I'll have another chance in the next minute. Its all about "now". Like much else in life, all this is easier said than done, but it is doable.

[@MarleyLeMar]

@@veedinma I do agree, from experience, in faith-based healing, and also in the therapeutic work of healing attachment wounds to secure attachment. For me, they worked together in recovering from my shame-bound sense of self.

[@PatchworkDragon]

When I start thinking that (usually due to job hunting), I think about a bird in a pet shop. The bird can be absolutely perfect, but that still doesn't mean I have the money and time for it - often, the reason we aren't "chosen" has nothing to do with us as individuals at all.

[@satinpatriot]

7:57 "Making mistakes and making amends is part of building meaningful relationships." I need to post that somewhere that I'll see it regularly.

[@ikasugami8066]

I've finally come to learn that liking myself is more important than being liked by everyone else.

[@ionageman]

What brought you to this truth ?

[@ikasugami8066]

@@ionageman A couple different things. I think feelings of not being good enough are tied to feelings of belonging and knowing who you are. For so much of my life I was trying to 'fit in' and 'people please' in order to be liked and therefore be "good enough" (even in relation to my parents, to whom it always seemed like there was something wrong with me). But over time I realized that it is impossible to get everyone to like me - trying to get everyone to like me became exhausting, and I didn't really have a good sense of who I am. A while ago I started working with a good therapist who told me "fitting in is the opposite of belonging. 'Fitting in' means changing who you are in order to be accepted, whereas 'Belonging' means being accepted for who you are." I came to question who I am, and start learn self-acceptance and self-love. I am good enough being who I am, and I have people who love me for who I am, and I am happy with that.

[@IrishMexican]

Depends on the person. This could be bad advice for someone who has narcissistic or entitled tendencies. (Not caring if they offend or hurt others). It’s a balance.

[@ivylin8103]

me too not to the point. conceited or too much

[@ВиталийСлонов-ч4ъ]

​@@ikasugami8066 Thanks for sharing. Very relatable. God bless.

[@barbaraam7256]

This video appeared at my feed on a terrible day. I discussed with a stakeholder at my job, had to give a very negative feedback about his constant behavior, had to escalate the situation to my boss. This stakeholder is a person that always question what I do, always contradicts me, always doubt everything I do and is the worse to cooperate with. He is also one of the dumbest people I ever met, no joke. But besides of being justifiably frustrated that he wanted to throw all my work in the garbage, I also feel frustrated that the never appreciate anything I do. And there's where your video show value. Why do I want the approval of a person I despise so much after everything he has done? This is very empowering. Thank you so much. It's good to remember this after a while. This will give me strength for the next steps. I'm confident I'm good enough at my job and shouldn't have him make me doubt not even a little about that. Thanks, Emma! As always, your videos are always a gem. s2

[@ulrikaa1581]

10:32 applying this to my situation as an unemployed middle aged woman was really interesting, but what if you can’t stand the journey to your destination (a job)? Being constantly overlooked because of your age really takes its toll on you and I’m really sad about it. Also battling hormones and a chronic illness doesn’t help. 😢

[@BarbGreenwood-s3l]

I fell upon your messages by accident. I'm a substance abuse counselor and peruse you tube for messages for groups. I'm almost 74 years old and have been struggling with the stuff you're talking about all my life. I've been to a ton of therapists and have lots of insight into why I'm like this, and have made some progress, but just seem to hit a wall. It seems so engrained in me that I'm flawed in some way. I have strong faith in God and try to see myself through His eyes, that helps, but I just like I'm not good enough. I struggle with motivation for chores, but I seem to keep myself buys away from my house. I just really appreciate the way you present these messages, very practical and easy to listen to. I'm really good at helping other people deal with this stuff, just don't apply to my own life. Thanks for listening.

[@marycole434]

Your content is so healing! What a gift for you to share, especially in our worry-filled society.

[@susantaylor9904]

I accidentally booked in twice my workload the other day and when two clients showed up within 10 minutes of each other, instead of freaking out and messing up I took things one step at a time had faith in my skills and both clients were happy. Before watching your videos I would have failed mentally and physically. Thank you Emma for my new found self belief

[@mehmeterenbulut6076]

The box in the beginning says “your brainazon” 😂😂😂😂. You are just, just too funny. Love the way you explain things, with bits of humour around.

[@ukestasz]

While listening to this, Calm notified me, “Mistakes are part of the deal.”

[@allier.9193]

Thank you for these videos. I don’t have insurance and struggle mentally alot. These videos truly help

[@jillpruett3444]

Excellent video. I'll watch it a dozen times till it sinks in.

[@gail9566]

I grew up Mormon and was taught that I would never be a "profitable servant." As a woman, there are strict expectations and you wait to be chosen for everything. There is no equality and you are always second to men. Things got better for me after I left and could focus on what I wanted to be.

[@ArmyofLove]

Emma, Just want to say many thanks for pouring iour heart out to those who really struggle week after week

[@jnuh7710]

Social Media is really taking a toll on me with all of the pushed pages and ads. I can only imagine the effect it is having on young people. It breaks my heart

[@jnuh7710]

I'm too busy getting distracted by all of these videos that are making me feel worse about myself, instead of actually focusing on improving myself and my mental health. Time to take a break. FR

[@Billn1971]

I got rid of FB a couple yrs ago. I don't miss it at all.

[@paulavaleyogaevida7420]

2:43 The magic words..."with support..."

[@Aashbard01]

If I believed I was good enough, I would look at challenges with courage and hope because I've made it before and there's nothing in this life that we can't overcome. This is for all who read this: When you feel like you're good enough remember, you can do anything you put your mind to because you are strong and diligent and you have overcome everything life has thrown at you, so you can do this!! 💕💕🙏🙏🤗🤗🤗🤗 I believe in you!! 🙏🙏💕🤗🤗🤗🤗

[@harrypearle9781]

SCHOOL Challenges may often be the source of not being GOOD ENOUGH. In school we were pushed to keep up with all the other students, much of the time. (If we fell BEHIND, we might suffer FAILURE and RIDICULE, etc, etc) TNX MCH

[@anggorogedewaseso169]

For the longest time, as someone who is quite well-versed in the English language living in a non-English country, I was held back by my own perfectionism to put said skill to good use. 4 months ago I actually applied for a teaching job, and even though I was very nervous about it, it was one of the best decision of my life that I made on my own, I find educating the youngn's on English language to be fulfilling and while other tutors have had several complaints from the parents about their teaching,(minor mistakes like unintentionally making the student feels left out or something) I haven't had such misfortune and I can pride myself that for a new tutor, I've been able to do it without a hitch, and some students kept coming back to my class because I know that both them and I enjoy our interactions during class. Turns out it wasn't as bad as I had imagined, it was just a new experience for me so of course anyone would be nervous, but because of my confidence and conviction, at the very least I managed to be on par. So, in regards to the perfectionism thing, this video hits the mark. Just go for it, trial by fire is the best learning experience you can ever get. Might as well go out with a bang than to die by slow fire like I did...if that makes sense.

[@rebeccaoprea9917]

This is how I feel when I have to do a non preferred task that I’m dreading, once I do it, it’s no longer as hard or dreaded as I once thought.

[@Blueskybuffalo]

Knowing perception is not always truth only goes so far with me and then I’m holding two contradictory beliefs at the same time and I fall into this endless turmoil. I just can’t leave it behind for long.

[@vanille3850]

Just wanted to say a massive thank you for your amazing content. The segment of not starting things due to not feeling good enough really resonated with me - I have avoided so many things because of that in my life! After watching your videos I started looking for dance classes in my area (as I’ve always wanted to be able to dance but never dared to take a class because I’m just too bad at it). I found none other than a burlesque dance class for beginners, and I’m happy to say I have been to my first class and will go back! Thank you for helping me face my fears with your videos ❤

[@thomasbortscheller8156]

Life is a journey not a destination. Be adventurous on your journey, explore, take risks, go down wrong paths, find what awaits you.

[@amygodown6790]

I’m turning 50 and this helped me more than any other thing I’ve seen on KZbin. Thank God for Grace!! ❤ just need to apply that Grace to myself.

[@rb9161]

You are so kind for putting this content out there for free in the world where people are making everything a business. Thank you!

[@ultimatestar705]

I'm a visual learner AND I love analogies and metaphors. This is fantastic.

[@cindyvelez8158]

The alternative phrases really hit me. Really needed that today. Interestingly, today i wrote on my mirror "I am healing. I am enough."

[@raymondanderson1026]

I found this super helpful. I have suffered from perfectionism and risk avoidance, among other things. Taking more risk in a positive way is one way I have changed. But also the mindsets talked about in this video have helped me see myself and others in a much more positive light. Being tied to the process and not the result is a huge mindset change that is slowly gaining traction in my mind but it does take time.

[@jinktea]

Sounds similar to how I've been approaching my days recently. Trying to work my way out of shyness by engaging in more small talk at work. It's definitely a process and some days feel better than others. I always remind myself, though, that, "I do challenging things. "

[@babettestaiger5856]

This was a very helpful video for me! Thank you so much! I think I am a total failure in helping my father to get throug the problems of ageing and coping with limited lifetime. He made choices that put him now in a difficult situation. And I feel responsible, because I never managed to convince him to change certain things so that it is easier for others to help him. Now the situation is very difficult and I don't have the means to get him the care he needs. This is why I feel like a failure. And I do not see how I can convince myself differently. I am doing what I can, but I feel my father needs much more. Although I know, he maybe even would't accept it. It is really a hard proof that life puts me through.

[@samanthatorres9517]

I love your comments on parenting "being good enough." I'm going through some healing work with my young adult children. It's a very humbling experience and hopefully teaches them the same lesson of not being perfect is OK! Thank you so much for this video!

[@siennaprice1351]

I’m completely blind, on the autism spectrum and have CPTSD. I was taught to mask certain traits and behaviors due to both my blindness and autism in order to fit in with society’s norms. But truthfully, a lot of these things aren’t hurting anybody, they make me feel comfortable and they’re all just me expressing myself. But I was taught that sighted people don’t do that, normal people don’t act this way. Normal people get over their trauma. So I now mask certain traits of my blindness and my CPTSD, and even crying and other emotions to fit in with society’s rules. Overall, I am a strong person, and being blind and autistic doesn’t mean I’m broken, and I don’t wish to be cured.

[@iloveFreedom.]

❤I love your attitude ❤❤❤rock On ❤livin in the Free world❤❤❤

[@siennaprice1351]

@@iloveFreedom. I LOVE your username! I’d also love to point out, I love communicating through improvisational music. Music has really helped me in so many ways. I think the hardest thing about having multiple diagnoses is society not getting it and having such an issue with people who are different and unique. I mean, yes, there is a time and place for everything, but to take it away altogether can be damaging to their mental health.

[@ykyk917]

These are such powerful words! I admire your strength. :)

[@siennaprice1351]

@@ykyk917 thanks. Blind people are just as capable as anybody else. Autistic people are just as capable as everybody else. Even people with CPTSD.

[@lowtech42]

You are not broken Sienna! You are incredibly strong! The proof is in every single day you continue surviving and living in this society! 💜🫂

[@sarahblunden4372]

I so relate to this video. I have been on a journey in the last 4 and half years. Last year I was offered the chance to go on the carpentry course and I was like no as it reminded me of school and never finishing anything and not taking things home. I did however and I made (with help) a mug tree that has pride of place in my kitchen. Also I was terrified of using a sewing machine but have made some lovely bits for myself and my children. I feel I am growing as a person and I was on TV this year talking about my journey. I used to have a "can't do" attitude but now I think "I might be able to do this, I will give it a go" I am enjoying life again. Great video. Thank you.

[@keziahb5523]

Thank you for this. It was such a timely video, felt like I could breathe afterwards. Song that came to my mind afterwards: Am I enough- Emma Nissen ❤❤❤ hope it blesses someone

[@sarahjohnston9563]

Love this! I've gone through times of feeling Not Good Enough and discovering my identity in Christ made such a huge difference 💕 I also can attest that the strategies Emma is sharing do work. Live from your values, especially love, not others opinions or standards. 💕

[@mariamnader2016]

Thank u so much 🙏 Alot of "not good enough" related to our mental state/psychiatric issues😢 May God bless us all 🙏

[@Suebee1988]

Emma, I have to say, I always enjoy your videos but this has got to be the most break-through, put in your pocket and pull out as needed, day-to-day useful video you have made to date...and that's saying a lot! Thank you, thank you, thank you! Best wishes to you and yours and P.S. Glad you got the couch thing figured out. ;)

[@thesawyersoapbox]

I have been in a wheelchair since I was five years old after a car accident. So many places in Texas, even forty years later, are not wheelchair accessible, which makes me feel not good enough. When I was living in Arizona I did not have these problems. Living in Texas makes me feel not good enough, especially when the people here are not welcome to change and have actually told me to move if I don't like it. A trauma therapy center called The Refuge in Conroe, TX refuses to make their bathrooms wheelchair accessible. Their doors are not wide enough. When I told them, their answer was, I know. Then they never did anything to fix it despite filing a DOJ complaint. Again, that makes me feel not good enough.

[@christsgrain]

Super helpful, thankyou so much. I'm going to 'try' to embrace 'discomfort' instead of hiding from challenges and life and new things. Here goes....😊

[@MomAndBabyCareHazel24]

This couch story at 02:15 is exactly what my struggle with self-worth feels like! Sometimes we’re so weighed down by our 'box' that we forget to unpack our fears and handle them piece by piece. 💪 Thank you for such a relatable metaphor!

[@juliedowning7948]

Your videos are priceless to me Emma, thank you! When I saw the "actual photos", that was the best! To answer your question, What do I envision if I stop trying to gain my self-worth from others... I anticipate my mind would be a much more peaceful place to be. The tasks I do would look a lot less like ADHD (lack of focus, joy, constant pressure, multi-tasking to a detrimental level), and I might pick up my 35+ unfinished paintings and start to enjoy completing them one at a time, and embrace their imperfections!

[@amelioraterelationships]

Wow! ❤ I love this! Thank you so much! I'm really excited to show this to my kids. This is something we need for our family. Thank you so much!

[@everydayangel]

this was great! you using your own experiences is very helpful and honestly makes me feel like i understand the stuff better. i also like how engaging the editing is in this and that the mood is quite light-hearted, since it makes it less scary to tackle stuff like this

[@elizabethwall8063]

This is excellent. You are always so insightful. The example of struggling to carry the couch in a box could be a metaphor for so many things. It made me think about how I get very overwhelmed sometimes by all the things I feel like I should either be doing or doing better. I carry around that burden so often, but opening up the “box” allows me to see that each thing is manageable when I tackle it individually instead of being so overwhelmed by all of it together. I’ve been pursuing a dream for several years now and I haven’t been successful yet. It’s so easy to get discouraged. But I also love your analogy of the airplane-that there’s nothing wrong with a plane just because it hasn’t landed yet. It’s still a functional and worthy airplane, just on its way to its destination. That’s helping me to feel motivated to keep pursuing my dream. I am going to feel proud of myself just for working toward my goal and try to enjoy the journey. Thank you so much for everything you do!!

[@MinsHome361]

This is so helpful. 63 and my whole life has been 'not good enough'. I've received some horribly critical comments over the years. I so wish we could start early in elevating the concept of 'enough' 🌻

[@fangirl00]

I cant find the workbook mentioned at 6:00

[@LookinGoodAnya]

Same. Plenty of links to things I can pay for, though 🙄

[@anciljohn2853]

Hi, I am new here and so delighted and encouraged by you how helpful you are to me. After years of fighting this battle all where I worked dealing with what I now is call child hood trauma. You are now bringing bk life to me.

[@Ava-gy3qw]

Thank you for your channel❤. I feel seen and heard and truly TRULY understood. You have no idea how much comfort you provide me❤

[@rhythmandblues_alibi]

I think this is the best video of yours I have seen yet. Will be saving it to return to when I need to hear it again. Thank you 💜

[@DulceHernandezSalazar]

I appreciate you bringing your faith into your videos❤

[@ZeroWasteAtlanta]

I really needed this during this point in my life. Thank you.

[@tigertiger1699]

Showing one self.. some: lots of self compassion is a huge live lesson to learn …. It’s almost the coming of wisdom.. possibly the one thing to get in life…

[@HosannaSelah]

I feel this is related to Learned Helplessness. Sooo much. Awesome Video. Thank you. Encouragement received.

[@peldridge2627]

Well, I started mentally arguing with you about a few points and then I realized that you hit a nerve with me - all my life I've been told I was "doing it wrong", and mistakes or circumstances reinforce this inner dialog.

[@MIA_Mark_Lewis]

That plane analogy really hit me. I needed to hear it. I’m subscribing and thanks!

[@marykatecurtis9557]

I’m so glad I found you today, I made a mistake at work and was feeling really stupid and not good enough, I feel better after listening to your video 😊

[@rubycrystal1]

Wow, this is the second video I’ve watched of yours and I really appreciate the stuff you’re teaching about. Thank you so much. I just feel better hearing this stuff, and your vibe is really great.❤ I can see these alternative thoughts and views really helping me to grow my business instead of being stopped by needing to know how to do it all before even getting started.

[@leda0803]

Your content is truly saving me right now. Thank you so much.

[@whome3530]

Your humor is the best therapy for the dumps. The analogy was perfect 😅 😂❤

[@lukaszmatuszewski]

Unexplainable 3d rotations of furniture in hallways, doors and other passages could be a metaphor of life I particularly like. One wouldn't believe it was possible, there is no way to explain how it could fit (maybe dismounting some door), but the fact of you still alive and the piece of furniture moved to a different place speaks for itself.

[@tylersguide]

Today I was walking and realized I was feeling down because of no matter how much ive changed and accomplished I still feel unsatisfied with myself and like Im not good enough for others… Im glad I opened KZbin, thankyou ❤

[@thaocosgrove7194]

Wow, this episode (like almost all of your videos) feels like it was made for me. This makes me believe that these feeling are common for others too. Thanks for reminding me that these feelings are normal but also not final.

[@aliciafarnham5616]

Unpacking my “not good enough” beliefs has given me a new lease on life and real, authentic connections with my nieces that I didn’t think I was good enough to deserve. I still struggle to ignore the lies, and sometimes to identify the lies, but it’s had a profound impact nonetheless. In my case, it was letting myself believe my closest family members that they might be right or they might be being genuinely honest when they welcomed me or encouraged me. Gradually, as I started to act on trust, I started to see that what I thought of myself (not good enough, undeserving) was not in fact the elephant in the room that everyone was just too kind to point out. In fact, no one else could even see the elephant. What a freeing notion, that I can trust the kindness of my own beloved family!

[@iSugarHeart]

This video has been most helpful =) i noticed that listening to affirmations everyday has helped me alot to shift my view on things. It's hard to change your thinking when your brain feels like negativity fm radio. So i switched the channel xD and it has helped to a place where i can actually reason with myself and accept that im actually alright.

[@_SeeIt]

I love you and your messages in the most wholesome ways. Thank you!

[@sammykat2hb]

If I believed I was good enough, I'd live without assuming others are secretly frustrated with me.

[@lowtech42]

Thank you so much for this video!!! I don't even have the words to express how helpful this is not only to me, but I'm sure everyone else watching! I think part of this sense of "not feeling good enough" is not only ego, but due to shame in particular. Shame is a chameleon that it feels like a lot of us harbor without being fully aware that it's even there.

[@siennaprice1351]

@@lowtech42 mine is mainly from shame. I had to fit in with society’s rules and social norms. I wasn’t allowed to do the things that make me feel comfortable being that I’m completely blind and autistic. I wasn’t allowed to express myself with these things, especially out in public or at home. And I’m not even hurting anyone when I’m doing these accommodations. Yes, there is a time and place for everything., and I respect that. But taking those accommodations away altogether can lead to shame, self limitation and a lack of self acceptance.

[@QuiltingQueen-tm7pe]

Whatever I do, whatever I say…. it’s never enough. I have stopped trying. I keep to myself

[@miriamlink8515]

What would my life look like if I felt good enough? I would work on loving myself and setting boundaries. I would invest more time and focus in things and experiences that make me happy. I would not be so eager to always make a good impression or always be nice and still be able to stay in touch with others, that make me feel good. I would go out more and enjoy the moment than always be afraid that a disaster will happen or others could hurt me, because I know I can stand up for myself and I have a right to my boundaries and protect my self. I would give myself little treats for my little wins and achievements. And I will allow myself that I don't have to like everyone. I will allow myself to consider the experiences of the past as a lesson from which I have learned something and be grateful that them made me into the person I am today and allow myself to leave them behind and forgive in order to have other experiences in the future and that nothing has to be perfect or works great. I can just be human and don't need to function, but I can learn to live. I can express my opinion and stand up for my needs. I don't have to please anyone but myself. And maybe I will help someone more by being myself than a version that I think someone wants me to be. In my experience that attracts only people that want to take advantage of me and used or manipulated me for there needs without my permission and I feel bad afterwards. And I will not promise anything to anyone (especially when I can’t hold it) just to make them love me, if they don’t love me now they never will. I will just be a lot kinder to myself.

[@kittyblack1538]

When I was a kid, I was kept put of a lot of things. We lived rural and my dad was a psychopath. When we finally fled the situation, my sister had a child and started enrolling her in subjects. For example, gym. My mum decided that in any of these subjects, I should participate too. So my niece would end up doing beginner stuff, but I'd always be thrown into the stuff of my age range, and usually the other kids there were way more experienced. At each of these subjects, I brought only shame and disappointment to my teachers and my mum. I was nervous, I was unpractised, and when I struggled it was belittled, as if I should be better. This carried on all the way to high school, at many points my mum pulled me out of school, usually for dysfunctional familial reasons. When I attended high school, I had missed most of year 6 and all of year 7. I went straight into grade 8 with massive gaps in my learning, my mum didn't want to be shamed for it, so instead she just blamed me for not applying myself. In secret I used to try and learn things before they came up, only to deflate I my mum found out and criticised me. Today, I have a great deal of difficulty accepting assistance, and not being good at things walking in.

[@WhatsMarlyUpTo]

Wow, this video is perfect for you! I'm so sorry for all the things that interfered with your education and more importantly, your self-confidence. We can't undo the past but we CAN nurture our inner child by telling them the positive affirmations Emma lists. Plus, you can add your own personalized affirmations. I hope you have access to therapy where you live. I've spent just over a year in therapy and have come so far in healing from PTSD. My ❤ reaches out to you for what you've been through. 🤗

[@thememorytravelerReset]

Girl, I love that story!!!!! Thanks for telling it!! 🗣️♥️

[@ninamuire]

This is so good. I love all the points you made. Thank you for this video. I think I might keep repeating this all throughout this journey.

[@l3a3n31]

one of my favorite videos from your chanel :) and I've seen A LOT the idea of the boxes is engaging and creative, the script and editing was good and funny the information was useful as always. I noticed that the camera was tracking you moves maybe ? so it tilted up and down, enabling this function if you are going to be still might be a good solution, or you could always use a warp stabilizer on the editing phase

[@AshlynRipikoi]

Yes, people can and do respond inappropriately, intended or not to hurt.

[@DrRock2009]

@8:33 “embrace discomfort” 👍

[@undertaken101]

This is so right. You are awesome!

[@leavingcrazytown]

This is so brilliant..what really helps me sometimes is referring to old beliefs as “ the lies we tell ourselves” and ask “ where did I get this belief?” What happened?? The other tool is “ stick to the facts” So often our beliefs are based on interpretations/ feelings/ the past/ nothing about the FACTS today! Have some spaciousness with all those beliefs, most aren’t true 🩷🩷🩷

[@anndufkis4404]

You are so amazing.. Thank you for this guidance!

[@DreamDetectiveKate]

Being human is so hard! Thank you for opening the door to bettering the experience!

[@bemysunshine2313]

Thanks, Emma. That is spot-on, just what I need at the moment! I am working on this with the help of my therapist, but I can certainly use additional input. Especially in English. It "speaks" more to me. I just subscribed and will be watching out for that follow-up video on how to develop my inner sense of worth instead of relying on an external one.

[@madisonbrunner4278]

Love you're actionable and enlightening videos. Thank you for sharing your light and knowledge!!

[@asmab1r3m6]

As someone who struggles with performance and social anxiety this video was helpful thabk you emma

[@Skyla944]

Fantastic video - so spot on - covered so many areas. Often we're trained as children to meet our parents needs. I'm having to relearn meeting my own needs and feeling good enough to do that. Bless you Emma 🙏🏻❤

[@tanjilaislam6239]

I love your videos so much. Can you do one on self-pity and how to stop it? Thanks for another amazing video❤

[@WhatsMarlyUpTo]

@therapyinanutshell PLEASE consider this request. It would be so awesome 👍

[@EndPoliceBrutailty]

Love your couch story. Although I've never had a literal couch like that to deal with, life is very similar. It's a good analogy. Thank you.