INTJ vs INFJ: Telling the Difference

[@goranmackala1032]

INTJ here. I do care about people, but only a few. But those few are my everything.

[@goranmackala1032]

@@coreopsis6163 I'm just saying that not all INTJs are cold and heartless like the stereotype.

[@DrVein]

I show my care for someone by hearing their opinion. Lol

[@DrVein]

@@coreopsis6163 I've yet to meet someone who is completely aware of everyone around and that cares about everything. I've met plenty of "feeling" types that think they care, but I don't exactly hear them talking about going to Africa for disease relief. 👀

[@belletoro3100]

same. and no one better mess with them.

[@bubanboglarka]

Also true

[@tlreclipse1126]

take note, when an INTJ wants to spend time with you. For they have thought of every reason not to. INTJ here.

[@zp6097]

So True!

[@dr.dermixgirlmd7479]

🙌🏽

[@Fleurrrz]

:’)

[@WellWisdom.]

Yep.

[@damiendevil333]

Yep 👍🏽 We do NOTHING by accident

[@chiaraafu4540]

INFJ: We all can come together to build a better world😊 INTJ: Make sure to exclude the stupid ones😒

[@annmoshi9682]

Can't help it tho sorry hahaha😂

[@GhostOfMrPickles]

true story

[@lancefarina756]

Seriously. Most people are chattel.

[@fayssal7655]

So accurate 😂

[@jodilewis5593]

Both statements apply equally to me!!

[@devinbrines]

All the good INTJ videos are done by INFJs

[@xxxmmm3812]

all the vids on other personalities are done best by info

[@joannesfishininthered1172]

Good one lol :)

[@AndeAndrea]

lol

[@mekachan5200]

Because they're the only ones who can feel us and know our struggle 😩

[@usingforposting]

True.

[@chiathepooh]

Feelings are personal. Very personal. - INTJ

[@chiaraafu4540]

So true

[@antonellamazza1021]

I am an INFJ but I keep my feelings very private and I don't share them openly. Glad for the more indepth explanation!

[@dunjad2474]

Only my mom and one of my closest friends know how I feel

[@coleirimi9613]

I love talking about my feelings but only with a few select people

[@DarkSentinel52]

i hate crying and emotions they cause nothing more than problems for me

[@rose-of7sx]

i got 51% T and 49% F on the test. might explain my inner conflicts all the time

[@safvanali08]

same

[@PCVKnits]

same

[@lin7977]

bruh same and it varies depending on my mood. i still can’t decide whether i am an INTJ or INFJ, because i have a lot of empathy and what to understand others’ feelings but i am also interested in what everyone is thinking. also, affection scares me👁👄👁 i am out here having identity crisis as always

[@yuureishin3380]

@@lin7977 totally can relate here.

[@Slightly_Classy]

I'm in a similar boat my friend, except I'm 48% T and 52% F.

[@lizzie3724]

INTJ here. Totally misunderstood by many. I am not a cold bitch. I do feel. You just won't see it. Because I won't show it.

[@jenzavala4358]

I agree so much on this! I remember being told by a close friend of mine (who is much more outwardly emotional than I am) that I’m emotionless and it actually hurt my feelings a lot but I just don’t think it’s necessary to share how I feel all the time. I completely related when he said that INTJ’s think of feelings as private because why should it be anyone else’s business how I feel?

[@fireguardian6101]

You can say that again!!! My mom always says, "You, cold hearted. ." But, that"s not true. She just don't know how much i feel and care about her!

[@moongirlswanderlust]

I'm an INFP and I totally agree. I would never show my feelings and it annoys me when people tell me "if you don't share your feelings you will never open up, so you won't make many friends!1!!1!" like no, I prefer talking about possibilities about the future, that is some interesting and cool stuff.

[@Magani79]

I think the "cold bitch" comes from not paying attention when hurting other's feelings. And maybe the disconnect to Si can add to that impression of being cold

[@Scrattah]

Easiest way to show people you care is through utility. Externally expressed emotions and comforting another is not as easy as simply solving the problem causing the negative emotions for someone who is not accustomed to being a shoulder to cry on.

[@JohnHill]

INTJ here, i'm more important than every one

[@FrankJames]

And you skateboard like the stereotypical INTJ 😂😏

[@ΘαλειαΙωαννιδη-ι3ν]

You are mistyped as intj!

[@claracatlady9844]

Self preservation is my first and foremost concern

[@frencesloraine7244]

This is exactly my line everyday HAHAHAHA😐

[@chopsticck6486]

okay funny joke but it's obviously me😌

[@rainyspoon]

This is a great way of describing an INTJs connection with feelings. I am an INTJ and I don’t mind when people tell me about their problems, I only mind when they don’t except any advice about how to fix them, and then continue to complain about the same problem. Which eventually might lead to not caring. Intjs do care about other people, but need to see that person care about themself as well

[@jewelj3069]

This is so true. Like I am giving you solution just take it but no they got to complain about it and do nothing. I feel like I waste my whole goddamn time.

[@wehcd]

"I only mind when they don’t accept any advice about how to fix them, and then continue to complain about the same problem." This is so true, and it's tough on some friendships because I tend to offer advice but often the friend in question is just complaining but isn't actually looking for advice, which I really cannot comprehend. Why share a problem if you're not looking for suggestions on how to fix it or make the situation better???

[@LizT-qx3xl]

Saaaaaaame... well, almost. You can bitch. But you can't have the same bitch. If you're still having a big problem, and you're working at changing it, but it's still a problem, it's all good. You can vent at me. If you're not working at it, stfu.

[@beingsomeone201]

No, intj helped me if i asked the right question! (Only one found in my 28 years of life, by my ne intuition (& ni stable somehow by my 2 infj friends i guess, intj stabled my te accuracy) for sure cz everyone just fear the intj bt couldn’t tell why, lol, entp me)

[@yuseol07]

Fellow INTJ here, this is very true

[@sumakakashka]

Hey, an INTJ here. I will blurry the lines between the INTJs and INFJs a bit. In the video, you mention INTJs are interested in people's logic, ideas and INFJs in people's values and emotions. I think INTJs are interested in people's values as well, but not from emotional stand point but logic; it can even be emotional in nature coming from people, but I will translate it into the thinking aspect of feelings behind the value. I think INFJs want to understand individual's outlook on life, their perception, through people's feelings; INTJs do it through people's thinking patterns. In order to do that, both consider values. Maybe that is why the difference between the types is so subtle. So in short: INTJ = I wonder, what a person thinks in order to feel this way? INFJ = I wonder, what a person feels in order to think this way? That is the general impression I got from this cool video :P

[@GealbhonnA]

Best explanation ever!

[@DrVein]

Further blurring the lines, I'm an INTJ and I actually consider things the way you simply described as INFJ. I understand that most people are driven by emotion so I try to conceptualize an emotional motive behind they're behavior. "This person is acting irrationally, they must feel very strongly."

[@sumakakashka]

@@DrVein Do you usually look at why they feel strongly? For example: a person is angry, cause they think they are being taken advantage of; or someone undermined their importantance from their point of view. So to me, it still relates back to thoughts. Curious to see what you think.

[@DrVein]

@@sumakakashka I think about it both ways. I speculate the as to why their response is specifically anger. They are offended, someone offended them, so they have a tendency toward anger rather than other defensive emotional responses. They could get scared or hurt and start crying, instead they get angry. There's a reason for this and that being an emotional chore prioritizing anger. We know that most people are already experiencing emotion (moods) before we interact with them. If they get easily offended for example, it's likely they were already an angrier person.

[@vsml333]

Well said!

[@DrVein]

"I'll feel what I'll feel, but what I think needs to be accurate." - INTJ "What I think is what I think, but my feeling can change." - INFJ A very subtle difference. Lol

[@toolboxevolution7456]

👏

[@9oh7music63]

Bee Gee lol

[@3dfrank1]

Thank you for this, makes so much more senses. Was having trouble understanding the video, but this comment answered my question.

[@thissunchild]

@Ѕhaðow Hυητεг Why not?

[@thissunchild]

@Ѕhaðow Hυητεг When I was a child I was terrified of my father who would beat me for reading Agatha Christi books. I'm not infj. I have friends who are infj who did not suffer as children. And they were typed by professionals and not some mediocre online test.

[@soniasbooks]

INTJ -- Depending on context, it's not really about thinking being in alignment with other people. I don't care what they think, unless it's more correct or better than what I think, and then I'll change what I think. But not to be in alignment with the other people, but to be in better alignment with truth. If I'm right and everyone else is wrong, I'm not going to change what I think just to be in alignment with others.

[@Skeptigal1]

We are definitely not herd animals.

[@nick.r9222]

True

[@marissag.Vs_winterbear]

As an INFJ I felt that. I may not change my opinions for ppl, but I will look for a completely accurate reason in order to do so.

[@khsjjs6520]

Yeah ...but most of the time....what we think is always right than the most people because we have more intuition than them....when I'm thinking what will happen next..what I'm thinking is always happening... sometimes I feel like so smart....😆

[@crosselsmith776]

Yes, I'll only accept others way of thinking if I found it better or more effective than mine.

[@suzihoude]

It’s possible that the “coldness” of INTJ is simply accepting the feelings of others, rather than adopting the feelings as our own. You’re sad? I get what sadness is - I hope it goes away soon, but what am I going to do about it? You’re ecstatic? That’s cool, but please keep the noise down. Feeling guilty? Hey, I’m not going to pry into what you did. Letting others deal with their emotions on their own is a form of respect that is often unappreciated by Fe.

[@brandym.7299]

Wow! ISFJ here and I thought y’all just couldn’t understand strong feelings of others so avoided them. The part you said “what am I going to to about it... “ that’s when it may be appropriate to ask the other person, “what can I do for you” ;)

[@krdiaz8026]

@@brandym.7299 An INTJ is not going to ask 'what can I do for you?' If he likes you, he will already do something for you, like bring you some of your favorite doughnuts. If he doesn't like you, then all he'll think is, 'ok, you're sad. I hope you fell better in the future. I'm not totally heartless, and I don't enjoy it when people are sad, but since I don't like you, and we are not really friends, I'm not going to stop what I'm doing for your sake, because as far as my Ni is concerned, you and your feelings are not really part of my life goals.' This isn't being heartless. Think of it this way: If your goal is to get to the airport in time, you shouldn't concern yourself with saving the abandoned dog you saw on the road. Do you like it when dogs are abandoned? No, in fact, it breaks your heart. But at the moment, you need to get to the airport, so, sorry dog.

[@thissunchild]

I totally agree 👍🏾

[@ManomiiFox]

as INFJ, this is kinda of eye-opening but maybe not all INTJs think the same? and yes my Fe don't like it.

[@talaalshafie]

Not to discount the difference between what you said and emotional support. An INTJ doesn't really "adopt" the emotion, but they understand the emotion. And based on that, they offer some kind of emotional support that has logical reasoning behind it.

[@fatoq_nursensei]

I am an Intj female, you speak logically, I agree with you.I am really emotional but I don't show it to everyone.I prefer to hide my feelings.But still, although I'm emotional, what makes the final decision is my logic.

[@akodaah13-e32]

it's involuntary, but my brain like or body just don't let emotions go out but at some point they just... overflow the cup

[@fatoq_nursensei]

yeah, I got INFJ in some tests tho 🤔

[@esme8229]

@@fatoq_nursensei Yeah same I got INFJ on the 16personalities test but got INTJ on the Cloverleaf test and now I'm really confused because I kinda relate to both but now I'm seeing I relate more to INTJ...😫

[@fatoq_nursensei]

@@esme8229 yeah i think we are complex 🤦🤷

[@pixelyz7792]

I am a INTJ male and I couldn’t agree more with this paragraph. Pretty much sums up how I work but in a non complex way for the most part

[@heatherdellosa9220]

My brother is an INTJ and I am an INFJ. We grew up like twins and are super close. The things I've noticed about his personality vs mine are LARGELY the thinking vs feeling aspect! He is ALWAYS super logical, to the point of arrogance, and seems to really turn off on anyone who is being emotional, as though emotions are an inferior or immature reaction. He comes off as a really cold-hearted self-absorbed prick to most people. However, BECAUSE I am so close with him, I am one of the FEW people who know that he has INTENSE feelings, and quite honestly is the most sensitive and touchy person I know. If someone wrongs him in any way (usually by disagreeing with him or correcting him or insinuating he's full of shit or something) he will literally shut that person out of his life often permanently. He never shows emotion though. He doesn't even raise his voice. This is made really clear to me by remembering our arguments as kids. He would always get me shouting hysterically and crying with his sharp know-it-all and I'm-never-wrong tone, and of course I'd be the one to get in trouble because I was the one shouting at him. That has been my biggest issue with him. For me, as an intense feeler, I often get really annoyed at his lack of emotion. So, it's very true that most (if not ALL) of our misunderstandings lie in that emotion vs logic. I always try to argue the feeling side of things while he tries to argue the thinking side. But for the most part, we get each other deeply. We both see the world intuitively and outside the box and can philosophize about the insanity of the world for hours. I think what we need to remember is that even though INFJs tend to feel INTJs don't have feelings, and INTJs tend to think INFJs don't have logic, WE DO. We just happen to believe the opposite is more important.

[@Elodie_N_INTJ_Analyzes]

I read comments, there are interesting, thanks for sharing. I am INFJ, and try to guess if my brother is INTJ or INTP.

[@wandertree]

I think this is a pretty good analysis, but it's reminded me of all the reasons I can't abide INTJs. They just aren't worth it to me anymore.

[@m96fa40]

@@Elodie_N_INTJ_Analyzes Let him do the test

[@Elodie_N_INTJ_Analyzes]

@@m96fa40 According to all my research, knowledges, and all the video I watch, he is INTP.

[@m96fa40]

@@Elodie_N_INTJ_Analyzes But if you want to make sure, let him do the MBTI test.

[@nawaf7138]

I'm watching Frank James talk about my personality type instead of studying for my finals . Encourage me.

[@lostinstereo6540]

Literally same lol

[@thembie3221]

🙈🙈me too lol..

[@signalfire15]

Me too! نواف الدغيم

[@karinacarvajal9919]

All of you better have passed haha

[@JoyceeAriel]

how did the finals go ?

[@elenamayer1990]

INTJs: "What's wrong with (stupid) people?". XD

[@xxxmmm3812]

lol screaming that internally on a daily basis But I am a mix of those two so I also feel compassionate and sad for them being stupid

[@jenniferobrien5188]

Human behavior baffles me. What are people thinking most of the time?

[@GenesisRussell-jt2rp]

@@jenniferobrien5188 tru

[@AnimeLover-zt4ho]

sorry but when a "stupid" doesnt get my point i wanna die cause i love people who get it right away

[@NoDnaJustRsa]

@@AnimeLover-zt4ho on the flip side it takes intelligence to understand that people don't have to get you right away. Patience also is a skill..

[@feanorwasright]

I think the difference is that INFJ's can read your feelings, like a therapist. and INTJ's can read your mind, like a chess master.

[@Skeptigal1]

INTJs can read people's feelings, too; we just don't care.

[@feanorwasright]

@@Skeptigal1 that's not how it works edgy boi

[@SuitedSlime]

@@Skeptigal1 fucking thank you haha I literally am so good at reading how people are feeling I just don't give a shit about it if they are saying some dumb shit.

[@ishami5004]

@@feanorwasright yes it is

[@ckrwgn3753]

My INTJ boyfriend and I are sitting here nodding our heads.

[@nikolaygeorgiev1416]

lol same here

[@SaravanjaSteele]

So true! As I commented above, my mom and my best friend are INFJ, and I cannot tell you how many times my mom wants to get a consensus on how we all feel. My husband (INTP) and I (INTJ) often look at her with genuine confusion about what feelings have to do with it - well, we did until we researched the feeling aspect of things.

[@leecervantes4007]

Lol my husband is INTJ and I'm INFJ

[@carmen6337]

Saaaaaame

[@mariob616]

Nice couple. You are both genius. :)) Btw I am a INFJ and i enjoy seeing love and harmony

[@samanthasiqueira2587]

I'm INTJ and it's very accurate. I do care about what people think, I sure love deep conversations but don't get what am I supposed to say or do if someone talks to me about feelings. Feelings are too personal to be shared with others.

[@GrafinVonHopper]

Sou INFJ e concordo que os sentimentos são muito pessoais para se compartilhar com os outros, porém, como os INFJ's anseiam por serem compreendidos e por manterem conexões profundas, temos a necessidade de falar sobre sentimentos apenas com aqueles que amamos e que sabemos que também nos amam. Caso contrário, não demonstro nada. Em se tratando de estranhos ou colegas, o quanto menos souberem sobre minhas vulnerabilidades, melhor.

[@aqua6613]

​@GrafinVonHopper showing vulnerabilities is the best way to strengthen those vulnerable areas. I show them all the time and it actually creates amazing bonds because I show my vulnerability and other people feel comfortable to be vulnerable too. Nothing wrong with that. If I find someone taking advantage and trying to use them as leverage however....I have a whole other side reserved for them 😅

[@pisky5067]

Same

[@cecelia948]

I have an intj son, he's the best! I love how he stays logical when the feelers in the family are losing it. So smart, so introverted, I seriously LOVE this type! They are super independent. He was my absolute easiest child.

[@mainecoon5459]

I wish my parents could understand me too just like the way you did lol... Anyways I just get used to this kind of environment haha!

[@KuboF]

I am using mostly INTJ. My mom once told me, that after the 1st grade, when I have learn to read, write and basic math, she never know about my homeworks because I just did it all alone. Like, why to bother her?!

[@blussawi9143]

Which type are you? Because as an INTJ, I know I was definitely not the easiest child as I would question everything and refuse to do things just because I was “supposed to do them that way”. And to some types, explaining yourself as an “authority” can be quite annoying.

[@flanbenflen9069]

Your son is stoic.

[@josephcarlodavid4355]

@@KuboF WOAH!! I also do my homework alone ever since 1st Grade

[@Chillipep]

I'm INFJ. My cat is INTJ. He's super practical (brings snakes and mice for me to eat) and Independent. INFJs and INTJs get along great.

[@ahsokatano5394]

awww! So thoughtful!

[@itrig7679]

All cats are INTJs

[@katieslattberg7369]

@@jellyfishi_ true orange cats are a whole different species

[@hipercool3479]

@@katieslattberg7369 orange cats are the king of all cat 🐱

[@annemmie]

I’m an INTJ and my cat is probably the INFJ . He is such a comfortable person (?)

[@kiblet]

Sister-in-law is an INFJ and I’m an INTJ. You nailed us, Frank! And I’m glad to hear someone acknowledging that INTJ types feel and INFJ types think, that it’s not a simple matter of thinking vs. feeling. Thank you, I feel so understood!

[@laurastoner2460]

I did two different tests, one was INFJ and the other INTJ so I clicked into this video

[@veares6384]

Wow, just like me. I actually did the test several times, 3 came up INTJ and 2 INFJ. When I read the descriptive type of INFJ I think "naaa, I don't care about people's emotions that much". Then I read the INTJ and think "Well, I'm definitely goal oriented, but not at a point of being that cold to other's feelings"

[@fatoq_nursensei]

@@veares6384 aaaahhh you are the same with me

[@antoniovivaldi1]

SAMEE

[@veares6384]

Soon we'll have enough quorum to start a group

[@veares6384]

Do you guys also feel awkward in most social situations, like a square peg in a round hole?

[@mmikesell1]

You forgot the part where you stoke my ego by telling me how much you love INTJ's and how amazing we are. I'll just take it as inferred. You're too nice, INFJ are cool too!

[@gaesimp__]

Same. (INTJ here)

[@worldsucks3456]

@Dream SMP News i want to meet a real intj too -intj here

[@lem1738]

@Steveee shorts Well, you can certainly cyber-meet one

[@fierylightning3422]

My father is an INTJ and my mother is an INFJ. I have been raised and taught to be like both, it is very unique and interesting as well. I have been taught both to prioritise reasoning but also to take great care to understand emotions, I am sort of a bridge between two worlds.

[@Queen-jz4fl]

What is your mbti?

[@crosselsmith776]

Same. My dad always taught to me to value logic of others and mom taught me to value emotions of other. I am not sure I am INFJ or INTJ. But in all the test I did I got INTJ as the first and INFJ as alternative

[@flm8580]

@@Queen-jz4fl I was gonna ask the same.

[@yohanesbobbysanjaya3541]

My mom is ESTJ and my Dad ENFP... my mom always told me to use our brain... my dad said "listen to your mom" LMAO

[@denisesiddon7241]

My daughter is intj and very wise beyond her 13 years

[@ceemam1039]

The difference between an INTJ and an INFJ right here: If you're an INTJ, you sped the video up. If you're an INFJ, you didn't.

[@nateisright]

I can’t even watch regular speed YT anymore.

[@MelThun]

oh gosh so true for an INTJ

[@antoniovivaldi1]

I slow up the video because english is not my native language and i wanted to understand what he told😂

[@noCRAPplz]

INFJ here. That's pretty accurate!

[@DakotaMcKenzieArt]

What if you really wanted to speed it up but didn't?

[@Tanagra180]

INFJ here, 13 yrs married to an INTJ. Talk about the yin to my yang! Yet, as many mention, there have been rough spots... When we met, we shared an immediate connection that neither of us had ever felt before. We were so smitten that we weathered years of long distance and ridiculous odds to ultimately start a family together... (I made all the sacrifices, of course). Unfortunately, I started to have issues with his emotional distance and cold attitude, disregard for my suffering. I initially chocked it up to cultural differences (I'm an American, from the south, and he is a French-Vietnamese engineer). But then we hit some big problems due to his indiscretions: I was so destabilized by his seemingly robotic, strategic, even conniving behavior that I wasn't sure if I even knew him at all. I almost left, but decided to follow my gut. We had to make a conscious decision to work through the crap together because we both wanted our relationship. We sat down and really worked on how we were each seeing things. It was totally bizarre to realize how differently he saw the world when we ultimately draw *very similar* conclusions from our diverging perceptions of it. In the end... I have learned to keep my emotions in check while communicating (he can't bear to see me upset) and to only argue using empirical evidence. He has learned how to deal with others' emotional needs. In my experience, the real trick to getting INTJs to respect and consider feelings is by relating that respect to fulfilling their ultimate goal in a situation: They are not cold hearted or emotionless, they are just logical and goal oriented above all else. Once I had demonstrated how listening to others' feelings helped his goals of a better marriage, convincing his employees to implement new work strategies, etc., he was *all* in! Today, he constantly tells me how this new "understanding" has changed his life at work, permitting him to navigate situations he never could have with logic alone. For my part, I find it calming to focus on not absorbing the emotions of others too much and I am careful not to put too much on him emotionally because he is more sensitive that he seems. (edit: a commentary called this a "soft underbelly." *Exactly*) It was definitely worth all the work! I'll take the "fire and ice" duality to our INFJ/INTJ match up over feeling "alone" or not understood in other relationships anyday!

[@ChrystalFaith]

Very well written, thank you! Somehow the logical understanding you imparted to me, as an INFJ, has comforted me at a deep level I needed as if it was a missing piece. Both my last bf & the love of my life (so far) who got away in my youth are INTJs... I am coming to terms with me letting go of the last & remaining a distant friend of the 2nd. (I so swear that he isn't as INTJ as he has such a tender underbelly, no both have that, so really it is that he can tear up at a movie... But then I run into this tin man way of thinking & am surprised.) Again, thank you, sorry for the overshare. If you don't mind, then just the thanks!

[@Tanagra180]

@@ChrystalFaith good luck! Glad my overshare could help...I cant help it anyway! 😉

[@Vantorea]

It really did help! So relatable. Taking that experience maybe I have a better chance of patching things up with a lost INTJ friend someday... Thank you!

[@TheYoShow.]

Actually i believe ESTP would be the exact opposite

[@revantnayar3408]

I am INTJ with an INFJ mom and ESTP dad. While Mom and Dad have almost nothing in common and my dad shuts off during moms emotional outbursts, I can empathise with my mom and try to offer logical solutions but she isn’t interested. She is more comforted by the fact that I’m listening. Very few people can breach the wall of an INTJs emotional life but if anyone its an INFJ. Maybe some other NF combinations too.

[@tastingschedule]

At first I was an INFJ, in my teens through my twenties. Later on, I somehow switched to INTJ, so I have been both. I think because as an INFJ my empath side (sensory kinesthesia) started to become too overwhelming, taking on the feelings of others and I could see how to solve things and I'd advise. At some point something changed... I don't feel like carrying anyones burdens anymore, they don't change no matter what advice I give. I'll show you how to put your big girl/boy pants on and then you need to figure shit out on your own.

[@MegaJustin33]

I was the opposite honestly. Lol

[@_linlin_]

You can't switch to a type

[@manarmeziani857]

You can acquire emotional maturity without necessarily switching types

[@newme3059]

@@_linlin_ well for your information when I was a kid I was an infp then at teens an infj and intp mixture idk . Then now I'm 18 and I'm an intj so....idk what to say

[@dankbiscuit9466]

​@@_linlin_You can actually, if this is the personality we are talking,personality can be effected by a major change.

[@ldmurray9165]

I’ve tested as an int/fj several times. My t and f are balanced. Yes it can happen.

[@artscience9981]

Yes I have had that same result in a couple of tests. Confusing, but I think my natural self is really INFJ.

[@Fbnt2]

Same, five years ago I got INTJ and a year ago i slightly got INFJ. I agree :)

[@geriblanche09]

Glad to know I'm not alone in this lol

[@queenelizabethiii1616]

I'm both

[@scablet]

I’m in this dilemma now...which one am I really?

[@karensmith1635]

My husband is an INTJ to my INFJ. And I have several INTJ friends. We make great matches and balance each other well for all sorts of relationships. The biggest differences I have noticed are that while they can actually be very emotional and even get hurt feeling easily, they have a hard time vocalizing what they are feeling. They also have a hard time reading a room, or person for that matter. They seem to fail at picking up those subtle hints that the other person is uncomfortable or unhappy with the conversation.

[@karensmith1635]

@Beth Elreann exactly. I don't know what I would do without my INTJs. They keep us so grounded.

[@ddoyle3856]

yeah INTJ here & you def are right about vocalizing feelings (i'm crude at best). But i am great at reading ppl & i think INTJ in general are very good at reading ppl... but maybe sometimes we just don't care enough to cater to other person's reaction/feeling about something lol...

[@ddoyle3856]

@Beth Éireann the older i get, the more i get like that too. & the more i care about & trust someone the more likely i am to tell the truth (about things that matter)... & yeah hope for same back, i hate phoniness too!

[@AImighty]

You look like a robot

[@AImighty]

Beth Éireann That’s because as INFJ’s, Fe makes us pretend to care about others, when in reality we’re actually pretty selfish.

[@MylesKillis]

Healthy INFJ: What is the pattern of emotions and what do i think about that. Healthy INTJ: What is the pattern that works for everyone and what do i feel about that.

[@spudmckenzie4959]

Why does it have to be interpreted through a feeling? Iys a weird lense to be making universal. Life was much better when the universal lense was logic

[@MylesKillis]

@@spudmckenzie4959 it's about balance

[@unusuariogenerico8382]

When im trying to understand myself i do the infj question (for me) and when im working i do the intj question

[@unusuariogenerico8382]

When im trying to understand myself i do the infj question (for me) and when im working i do the intj question

[@gingerredshoes]

I think it's exactly the opposite.

[@SheenaHolly]

I think TOO MUCH. Therefore I FEEL I AM an INFJ. Analyze that.

[@glennn6386]

I've always had the same view on that statement, just opposite.

[@ellaello5418]

OMG. This is it - such a breakthrough. This would change how people perceive "feeling" and "thinking" types! You are brilliant.

[@Ncoherent369]

You're still using a logical/rational process to come to how you feel. This+this=how i feel INFJs feel a lot too it's just unconscious with a critical attitude towards their own morals and self worth. INTJs are critical about their own thinking but are consciously aware of their own feelings which are held responsible by their rationale

[@mariob616]

You are a INFJ. The reason why you think is the Ti the 3rd aspect of a INFJ.

[@weirdleftovers9145]

That's not a feeling

[@QuandarNl]

It really depends on my mood to, sometimes I feel more like a INTJ and sometimes more like a INFJ.

[@j.hypolite5163]

i'm infj and this almost confused me but then i realized i'm way more affected by others' feelings than their thoughts. Like if i went into a room and you told me people were angry at me i would immediately become anxious and try to understand why. However if you told me everyone thought i was a bitch because i'm always quiet i would be like oh, lol, well they're entitled to their opinion. I get more upset if people don't feel the way that i do about something than if they don't think the same way as i do about an issue(That's probably the opposite for intj). That's why a major pet peeve of mine is hypocrisy. Example, if I don't like "A" but you do for your own reasons, I won't care that much even though i disagree. But if you say you don't like "A" then you should behave like you don't like "A" in all situations that A comes up and you not feeling as passionately as i do about it although you supposedly have this stance irks me.

[@andyboston3646]

Same ! With my friends I'm over expressive, no judgment at all but with random peoples I don't care about their feelings and just try to know what they are up to (and mostly what they think about my-self because introvert)

[@rerolieu8909]

It is kinda funny how we immediately accept that we are a bitch and laugh if off but when someone doesn't feel the same way we are like ''Now this is an Avengers level threat''

[@EV143]

Exactly the same as me

[@ravenmage1859]

This helped out a lot, since I tend to fluctuate between F and T when I do testing, but listening to this I'm definitely INTJ. I keep my feelings close to my chest, they're mostly only for my loved ones to really see into, whereas my ideas and thoughts and reasonings are an open book that I crave to bounce off of and test against other peoples' in the hopes of broadening our perspectives. I feel deeply, but that's mine. I'll tell ya what I think though.

[@JonStratford1234]

Good comment. I'm the same on all points.

[@arlettasloan6453]

That's pretty much my experience, too.

[@Kaye88326]

That last part. 💯

[@TheeScarletRose]

INTJ woman here- we can seem to simulate Fe, in that we can ask how everyone feels to assess morale, especially when we take on managerial positions. We also can sometimes try to take care of the feeling component in a group situation if deemed necessary or if things are looking to go spiraling out of control in that regard, but don't be mistaken! This is not Fe. This is Ni-Te organizing the situation to the best of our abilities in order to mitigate any time wasting with feelings later on. It's not that we don't care about how others feel, but it's just a more strategic way to operate with others so that we can get things sorted and get things done. But yes, ultimately, with an INTJ, we recognize that feelings are subjective to the individual, and that while we may not understand why someone feels a certain way, we can accept it and move on. However, if someone's logic is off, we will politely let them know. Generally right away. Even if it's not worth it to bring up. Haha.

[@ddoyle3856]

yes exactly!! (i am INTJ too)

[@vladstark2091]

Exactly!))

[@TheeScarletRose]

@Beth Éireann INFJs have an appeal to me to. I rarely meet them or any other INTJs in real life, but when I do, I am always intrigued by the almost immediate sense of friendship and openness between us.

[@Renkarzm]

I used to be an INFJ. I retook the test and got INTJ. Over time my personality has shifted from feelings to logic.

[@rueligonzales5829]

That's Fe-Ti

[@TheCrowsnest86]

My dad is INTJ. We have an awesome connection and a lot in common (including running away from family gatherings early). However, it is a challenge when it comes to certain things. He is very logical and straight forward. He would rather tell his opinion (even if it is negative) than care about hurting my feelings. I guess if I had more confidence in myself, I wouldn't get hurt. In general, I think it is a great match for a close friendship, these two types balance each other very well. No one understands me like another introverted intuitive type...

[@jakeybry9983]

Валерия Van Der Mark, I am an INFJ and my dad is a INTJ. This comment basically is the position I am in right now. My dad has always said that I remind him of himself as a kid. He understands me pretty well but a lot of times when it comes to more emotional talks I feel a bit of a disconnect. He uses a lot of logic and at times I wish he was a little more caring. Other then that I love and admire my dad, he really wants me to succeed in life I’m very thankful for that.

[@orion5397]

Running away from family gatherings early😂😂 I wonder how good it would feel 👍👍Btw I'm an INFJ too

[@a.s.3719]

I think it's because he doesnt mean to hurt your feelings. I state my opinion a lot too (and have hurt people in the past by doing so), because I simply didn't mean it in a bad way. Not being perfect at something doesnt make you any less of a person and you can always just improve yourself(and if you dont get better at for example playing the piano, that doesnt mean youre not awesome). I try to not give my opinion as much, but it's pretty difficult and it kinda makes me feel fake and less helpful. Im bad at comforting(tho I try)so I kinda try it by pointing out mistakes or pointing out why someone else would not want smth or would want smth etc. It's kind of my way of comforting(I know it sounds stupid), but I think maybe it's his way of comforting you(or trying to comfort you)? Im sorry if this didnt help, I thought maybe it would help if you'd look at it this way?

[@jero007]

Coming from a female, not a parent INTJ, I can see why the Dads sometimes appear too logical and straight forward, maybe even cold. Ever heard of the saying "Someone screamed fire, and everyone started screaming fire" that's not how an INTJ will react (at least I won't). I think an INTJ is not prone to giving out huge reaction and this might give the impression that we don't care. We would rather spend our energy assessing and fixing the situation than scream. Personally, when people come to me and I see that they're in "panic mode" or emotional my default reaction is to ask questions (sometimes too many). I might sound cold or detached and that I care more about the problem than the friend. But what I am trying to do is figure out the problem and how to solve it - for her (coz maybe she's in a state where it may be difficult to approach the problem logically). Solve - because now that I think about it - providing solution to a problem is our way of showing affection and that we care (Though I don't think we are aware of this). Also, we just simply like to solve/plan/strategize stuff. I'm not the person who will give flowery, comforting, sweet words but I will do my best to provide solution or options. I understand that this person is emotional right now but I am not going into panic mode with her. Everything is solvable and if things end up not going our way "at least we didn't just succumb and give it our best shot". If I don't mimic her emotional state it's because I find it "tiring" almost like a physical struggle. Trust that your parents understand you and your rants no matter how crazy and incomprehensible you sound. Know that your parents love you they just have a significantly different way of expressing it.

[@xxxmmm3812]

i am a mix of both of that, you need to do it to keep your sanity in this insane world

[@danaby]

My boyfriend is an INTJ and I'm a INFJ, we have the best conversations I love how rational he is but still has this introvert intuition I do recognize how special he is, I love his mind and soul , it is a fascinating personality to discover I recommend this personality match in a couple, this video is so interesting for me , thank you so much Frank

[@mjr7910]

Hello Frank. Thanks for the informative vid. I am a female INTJ and my sister is an INFJ. I can't speak for every INTJ or INFJ but I can relate some obervations. First the similarities. My best times are with Lisa with while we are having deep conversations. We talk at length about our feelings, experiences, our marriages and spirituality. We just understand each other and care deeply for each other. That's important because we are both married to Sensors (what was I thinking?? Just kidding). We both like to spend a lot of time in our heads because, frankly, it's way more interesting than the material world. Neither of us is much interested in watching the news, or the latest trends. We both have Facebook accounts we never use. We read a lot of books and learn new information for fun. The main differences I see is are in how we navigate through life. Lisa is very emotional. She once told me that she was constantly awash in emotions. Emotions influence nearly every thought and act. I actively suppress my emotions. It's like I have a big vault inside where I store my emotions. If I want to bring them out, to express them in a safe environment, I let them out. Otherwise they are irrelevant. Lisa's Fe drives her to want to connect with people. To understand and counsel them. My Te drives me learn about the nature of life, the psychology of people and to dive deeply into the spiritual realm without interference from people. Well I guess that's enough for now.

[@jake188]

the difference is so minimal it could probably change based on what playlist you listened to in the morning

[@shifra3203]

Being an INFJ It takes a lifetime to understand yourself

[@DalalIsaac]

I'm an INTJ and my best friend is an INFJ. We share lots of traits but yeah when it comes to the feeling vs the thinking it's like we complete each others' point of view. In other words, every INTJ needs an INFJ in his/her life and vice-versa to achieve balance😊

[@lemnonwangsu4427]

INTJ here. My thinking is more like a chain reaction. I tend to analyse my response to situations for days until I come up with a rational insight to it and make sure to respond accordingly if I am faced with the same situation next time. Sometimes I feel like a robot, like I am programming myself to function a certain way but I can't help it. That's just how it makes sense to me.

[@elenavalentini2961]

INTJ here. Now I finally understand why whenever I got to share my personal emotional traumas I couldn't relate to what the other person/people felt; when people feel sorry and try to cheer me up I don't feel anything, I think it's because when I (eventually) open up I don't feel the need for my trauma to be validated, it exists, it's there, but I don't need it to be understood from others, I only care about how am *I* going to do about it. That's probably also the same reason why INTJ try to provide advice when people have problems, instead of comforting them (luckily I have enough Fe to understand what other people expect me to do for them, but I still do give advices on how to solve problems after trying to comfort my friends)

[@Die-Flugel-der-Freiheit]

I only share feelings to find solutions for it. So I almost never share them because I don't make sense of them, nor do I know what to do when someone shares them with me beyond trying to provide solutions.

[@elenavalentini2961]

@@Die-Flugel-der-Freiheit Same for me, I'm terrible at comforting people, the best thing I can do to show I care is giving advice to solve the problem. But people usually don't look for that, they usually just want to be listened to and get their feelings validated. But just standing there saying "no, you're right" or some other bs seems so random and limiting to me, I'd rather try and show I care by trying to help since I'm not good at comforting people, what else am I supposed to do besides absorbing all the info?

[@Die-Flugel-der-Freiheit]

I get you, humans are complicated

[@Frank-sd8xr]

Not to diminish your other videos but, I think this is the best one so far. It’s straight forward, to the point and doesn’t mess around even playing it for a laugh which is refreshing for MBTItube!

[@FrankJames]

well thanks!

[@thissunchild]

I 2nd that

[@jaimeflor4181]

I’m an INFJ involved with an INTJ. We actually have similar interests, but she rarely shares her feelings. She’s less social than I am to, and has an even stronger preference for things to be planned out. She’s also laser focused on her goals and getting things done is top priority. To an outsider, without actually seeing the intricacies of her behavior, you might not be able to tell the difference between us. We’re the same, but opposites in our auxiliary and tertiary functions.

[@FindYourFlowVideos]

Jaime Flor cool seeing you here! I’m INTJ doing some research :)

[@celestina26]

Totally relatable! Same situation here! I am the INTJ female in the relationship. He calls me Monica from Friends...

[@πηγιοπατουχακη]

And is it working out well between you two? -infj

[@Awarness77]

"INTJ, i'm more important than everyone" lol....to all of these people who think like that i'm gonna tell you a secret: you're not an INTJ, you have a narcissistic disorder and it hurts so much to all of you to recognize it.

[@spudmckenzie4959]

True. It would appear this would be the default when everyone wants to be the intj because its cool in media, but cant pull it off because they arent intj. So the narcissistic is their default.

[@usernameusername6544]

That's true, but an INTJ can be a narcis as well

[@gondor532]

Let me tell you another secret. Everyone is most important to themselves other than maybe their children. Anyone who tells otherwise is lying.

[@mpabaisimercy1402]

U r just a sad bitch

[@gfddgfv3567]

They might be trying to say that in a situation like: ‘ someone is getting bullied ‘ or another situation where they can choose between helping another person and potentially burdening themself or just not getting involved, they would just walk away because they care about themself and not getting into anything , if that makes sense? I dunno

[@princesinha1680]

I find relationships with INTJs simultaneously rewarding and frustrating. My dad is an INTJ, and while he and I have a lot of things in common, and share a close bond in some ways, we also butt heads a lot. I also had an INTJ roommate a few years ago that I initially connected really, really well with; she and I had a lot of similar interests and perspectives; but ultimately she drove me up the wall because she could often be cold and insensitive. The whole extroverted thinking vs. feeling aspect seems to be a challenge for me personally. It seems I forge more intimate, conflict-free relationships with those on the feeling end of the spectrum, whether they be extroverts or introverts.

[@SekRanger]

You know what! I am male infj. And there is this intj female. I met her at our workplace. I am (a little bit) more into feeler, which is not common in male. And she is thinker, which is not common in female. It is really a balanced relationship. For me, I learned a lot from her about how to be better at thinking (and everything). She is the most wonderlife living thing in this world to me.

[@anistyapratista7036]

I think it works the same for an ENFP & ENTP. I've had a friend who's an ENTP and talking to her is like meeting my other self with a little touch of different. The Extraverted Intuition bouncing around when we talk is soo much fun. Never have I feel much more fun talking rather than with ENTP lol. But for a relationship, I think I'd prefer someone with Fe and probably a J type to balance me 😂

[@V.Hansen.]

Cold and insensitive. Yep. Thats us. We disregard everyone's feelings including our own. I have a saying people hate. "Are we talking about feelings or reality?" Hahaha. I love that saying. Because it disregards feelings.

[@Lundy.Fastnet.Irish_Sea]

Why are there so many INTJ dads?

[@relentlessmyndz2005]

Tj here...are you in a tj relationship? Is it working out?

[@nathanwheelhouse616]

Thank god (in a non religious sense) for the MB test. For the first time in my life at 45 years of age I now know who I am. Your newly discovered channel makes me feel normal in a world that has mostly made me feel anything but. Thank you, so fucking much Frank.

[@bellalovretich4101]

I completely agree!

[@coolbeans6895]

I haven’t taken an official Myers-Briggs test. Only the free 16 personalities one (I get INTJ/INTP with that one). But the more I watch videos on the types, the more I am convinced I am an INTJ. I can’t even fathom why a group would make a decision based on feeling rather than agreeing on the logic of what is best.

[@mr.superduper9254]

Hi FJ ..guess what!! I mistyped myself INFJ but I don't regret it coz it's the reason i found your channel✌great work man #INTJ

[@dodediaries7589]

Same here!

[@devinbrines]

Welcome to the club dude

[@eduardogabriel858]

How did you realized the difference between the Fe/Te? I feel like I have a good balance between Te-Fi/Fe-Ti and I don't know which one fits better.

[@daniii3915]

In one test i got infj ànd another i got intj. How can i know? I am very clingy and i want to become one being with the person im in love with. I also feel at home in the forest in silence. I also hated school my whole life.

[@daniii3915]

In one test i got infj ànd another i got intj. How can i know? I am very clingy and i want to become one being with the person im in love with. I also feel at home in the forest in silence. I also hated school my whole life.

[@TheLegacyHero]

You sir, are a genius. INTJ here, and that's high praise coming from me.

[@xspoole]

I used to always be confused as to how I could be typed as an INTJ on every single test I took and still be an emotional person. This helped clear it up a lot. The feelings happen inside my head in a little compartment... whereas an INFJ, their feelings surround everyone and try to draw out the feelings of others. I think that's a difference. I couldnt imagine having introverted thinking, I thrive off of bouncing crazy ideas off of other people and seeing if they can prove me wrong.

[@Hajhaj-pn6bn]

People really tend to forget that under the Fe warm welcoming surface of INFJ lies the Ti and that’s their calculating function if you’ve known an infj for a long time and they trust you , you will have a full access to their Ti : their honest thoughts and how they can be scarily calculating and cold at times. And people tend to misjudge the INTJs by labelling them as unemotional and cold but behind that persona, they’re a very emotional person who protects their vulnerability by being very secretive and private of their feelings.

[@jenessam.hernandez4331]

I scored INFJ as a teenager through my 20s then started scoring INTJ in my 30s. Not sure what that’s all about but one notable difference in me was implementing more logic than emotion in my decision making and relating to the world around me. When I was younger I was healing a lot of trauma wounding so I had to do CBT. I think INTJ is more of what my personality is but had other mental stuff coloring my core self that I had to bring back to wholeness. Loved this video.

[@Scorpscorpdorp]

Same here

[@wildcaterpillar4825]

As a teen, all throughout high school I was an INTJ, and in the past year, I took the test again and got INFJ, but after this video, I am certain I am an INTJ still; I've just gotten into my emotions a bit more in the past while. Thank you for the clear explanation

[@Mr3kiwis]

Ditto. My working hypothesis is that it's a combination of being a stay-at-home mother and working on being more warm in my interactions with others as an act of charity. I 100% relate to its being an introspective, rational process trying to understand others' emotions.

[@GRIFFIN1238]

I react strongly to external feeling, but enjoy internal thinking more. Because of that I've always thought I was a combination of the two. This helped clear that up a little, thanks! Looks like I'm definitely INFJ!

[@ImNotTellingYou-ht8uq]

Wellll.... I think this has confirmed I’m INFJ, I was on the fence. Thanks, I love these videos! Also your ‘The INFJ fade' video changed my life. Thanks again. I always love your back to the future references.

[@princesscharis]

I wasn't sure if I am a natural INTJ with huge empathic levels or natural INFJ that developed lots of logic. I think I was born INTJ after all, because of emotional trauma since childhood, which led me to depression, I developed huge awareness of the emotional state of people because I understood that healthy emotions make people act better in life than being unstable which can cause lots of problems in the everyday life. I understood very early in life both: Build a better world, but exclude the stupid ones. And that reasoning comes from observation of myself and others. But my natural instinct after I fixed lots of my emotional problems and self esteem is acting like an INTJ, I don't care always for the feelings of others especially when they get in the way of progress.

[@someone-you-do-not-know8522]

“Just because you’re an INTJ doesn’t mean you don’t have feelings.” Me, an INTJ: “excuse you, did you just assume I have feelings?”

[@skyinuri8868]

Doesnt matter if they people feel us having such feelings. When we live in Mars. Feelings aint no needs😊

[@Whimsy3692]

eDGy.

[@ΘαλειαΙωαννιδη-ι3ν]

You 're mistyped as intj

[@Snazjazz17]

i think there are a lot of intj’s who do have strong emotions but it also makes sense that people who don’t would likely get this type, so it literally just depends on the person.

[@caitlinmclellan2314]

Lol my best friend is an INTJ. She may not seem like she has feelings and she doesn’t even think she does. But she’s actually a sweetheart.

[@lyana1290]

Got an INTJ friend and he told me that he loved me since he knew me like 10 years ago. Like wtf a man could hide his feeling for that long. Doubt whether it is a true love, lol.

[@Lotusblume.8]

lyana _ same here with my ex boyfriend. He claims to still love me although he hardly ever showed it. He was INTJ. It drove me bananas how analytical he was and how little he could show his feelings. He was super sweet but I felt like he was a ghost at my side most of the time. I couldn’t deal with it. Lol

[@lyana1290]

@@Lotusblume.8 I feel that 😂.

[@jeremysmith9694]

Don't doubt what an INTJ says. He means it. He's come to that conclusion. Few ppl know what I rly think bc I rarely express my emotions. He loved you.

[@lyana1290]

@@jeremysmith9694 he said,"I always love you." so... I just didn't know how to respond tbh cause he said it like thunder in the broad day light, so sudden 😐 10 years friendship bro, and I have a trust issue about love 😑

[@jeremysmith9694]

@@lyana1290 all I'm sayin is INTJs may not have the best approach or timing but my guess is that he meant it. Esp with that much time, he's given it a lot of thought and he means it. If he's anything like me, he wouldn't say that lightly. I know I've told girls I've liked them and they srsly couldn't believe it. I was kinda shocked they couldn't believe it. I thought it was obvious but i guess not. We're incredible at hiding feelings. Not always a good thing. It may have been weird what he said or how he said it but srsly I wouldn't doubt he meant it. Sometimes thunder does take us by surprise. I love it anyway.

[@gailnichols842]

Wow! I'm an INFJ who loves to share deep conversations to get to the truth and reads other people's emotions even absorbs them if I'm not on guard. In a different video with a different narrator I learned that the INFJ understands people and the INTJ understands the material world. I've spent my entire life studying people and can only tolerate peaceful environments.

[@SueMeriah]

Person: "I've known you for two months and I actually really really like you

[@bennyton2560]

INTJ: It only took me 8 years to grow to like this person. I'm doing alright

[@beranfam]

The INTJs I know seem so much more confident in general, especially about what they know and how to navigate unfamiliar terrain. If you were able to choose your Myers Briggs type, what would you choose? For me, I would choose to be ENFJ because those individuals are incredibly charismatic, engage with pretty much any type of person with ease, and seem to have it together when conducting their business. Or, I would choose INTJ because of their confidence and badassery with intellectual matters.

[@soapmaker2263]

I think ENTPs are the best, or an ENTJ with well developed feeling function. I say this as an INTJ acutely aware of the INTJ social weaknesses. Although, an older, well socialized INTJ is a force to reckoned with as well.

[@nadejdakopanova415]

my choice exactly, I love ENFJs and INTJs also do very well with ENTJs for some reasom perhaps my very well developed T. ENFP has been my soul mate.

[@toolboxevolution7456]

INTJ. I'd choose what i am. Intellectual badassery.

[@z.deutch1334]

ENFJ here. I can convince people to do things they never thought they'd do 😁 always for their own benefit of course

[@ericadunn9435]

I'm INTJ and ENTJ - 51% extroverted. everyone at work (staff retreat on MB) was shocked to find out that the super friendly person who boosts morale scores is a cold bitch who instantly makes decisions. made life uncomfortable at work until they accepted that I'm not a sociopath.

[@vaportrails7943]

I'm a male INTJ, and I've had two different female INFJs in my life. We are very similar in some ways: we like a peaceful, clean, thoughtful, almost meditative environment, in which to live, rest, work, study, and exist. We don't much like parties, crowds, loud concerts, dance clubs, and so on. The main difference is that the INFJ really cares about everyone getting along, and they will mediate between people to try to get them to see each other's point of view, and hopefully achieve an understanding. I only care about what's true, what's right, and if someone has a problem with that, even when presented with overwhelming evidence or proof, it's a serious character defect on their part, that needs to improve. The INFJ, on the other hand, will only take a side in an argument when they've exhausted all other options. It's excruciating for them, they hate having to do it. Of course they also have their own wants and needs, and they are much more willing to stand up for those things than they are to take sides between two other people. INFJs are individualistic, and they have a strong sense of self. The intuitive, detached observation about how the world should be is applied to feelings, people and relationships, where INTJs are much more logical, rational and fact based. Otherwise, we are very similar, and very compatible. Our disagreements take this form: INFJ: You're being insensitive. Me: You're being irrational. INFJ: I know you're right, but you need to be more diplomatic about it. Me: I know you're right, but I can't stand it when people refuse to see the truth of what I'm saying.

[@tchum3881]

What do you think about a relation between intj and infj

[@jamielyn9923]

“If someone has a problem with that, even when presented with overwhelming evidence or proof, it’s a serious character defect on their part, that needs to improve”!! Lol! Such logically sound truth there! I love how truth telling INTJ’s are and I’m a quiet, warm and deeply observing ISFJ. That trait is admirable:)

[@vaportrails7943]

@@tchum3881 From my experience we are very compatible. We are very similar. If there’s a downside, at least from an outside observer, the pair could be considered “boring”. We both have “deep inner worlds”, one intellectual and the other emotional, and don’t pay much attention to either social interaction or physical sensation. We both have no problem being by ourselves, spending a lot of time exploring something that interests us.

[@vaportrails7943]

@@jamielyn9923 It can get you into trouble. It’s a constant battle of when to say what you think and when to keep your mouth shut. The fact that many people take their ideas personally, rather than seeing them as things to be examined and improved, is foreign to an INTJ. So I’m trying to help them improve their ideas, but they feel personally attacked.

[@kraftmacaroniandbeez]

i've had 2 infj boyfriends and couldn't describe this better 😆 respectfully, intj

[@celyncapo]

Enfp here.. 🤦🏻‍♀️ half way through the video I was thinking about tacos. 😩🤦🏻‍♀️ And then realized that I am the stereotype 😒

[@frankpepin4109]

Oh, cool. I like burgers.

[@christianbyers8332]

Wow lol

[@happilyeverafter1528]

Lol can relate. ~ENFP-A

[@Jess.Anderson]

Thank you so much for this! I had gotten both INTJ and INFJ results before on seperate quizzes and was confused. But this explained the difference perfectly. I would say I am definitely INTJ! I absolutely want to bounce opinions off others and want validation for thoughts on certain topics. I look up arguments and counter arguments for things to make sure my own arguments are truly sound. And I want to see what others think before I feel sure if my position. If someone else has a better logical argument of course I'll change my mind to what makes the most sense! *Extroverted thinking.* I absolutely do NOT seek validation for my feelings by gaging what others are feeling. I hate talking about my personal emotional state, and am super private about my feelings. If I'm upset, I'd rather people not even know, and do my best to hide it because I want to spend my time processing my emotions without the influence of others and deciding what they mean to me, and what I want to do about them. And I dont want others opinions... I want to process it alone, so people dont influence what truly I want/feel. Feelings are personal and have nothing to do with logic. The heart cannot be explained and it doesn't always make sense. I have a LOT of emotions... but how the heck could other people understand them if I dont even know what it means to me. I just need time, lots of private time - to process it all on my own. Maybe then (probably months later) I can attempt to explain it to someone else. I dont want people to share/ influence my feelings... it almost makes me feel manipulated and angry, like... stop trying to tell me how to feel. *Introverted Feeling.*

[@kmm0246]

I'm still confused on what I am lol. I'm border lined Thinking and feeling. It seems that both play a equal roles....

[@JamesExcell-InterJex]

Yep same here. They are the closest out of my 4 variables, the F and the T.

[@kita3256]

I am Infj and my husband intj. It has its ups and downs. Can't stand the fact that he doesn't feel the need show emotion. And I do. So for a long time I didn't understand why he wanted to be together still (when we were dating) if he seemed distant. But I've learned to figure him out. He shows his love in different ways than I would expect. But it is amazing. We are alike too though. It is a very interesting dynamic!

[@jaimeflor4181]

krl stmyr I struggle with the same things in my relationship with an INTJ. As long as we’re on the same page, it’s really good. During arguments, our opposite value in feeling vs. thinking clash. They like to be alone most of the time, which is fine when I’m introverting, but kind of frustrating.

[@Frank-sd8xr]

An INFJ has Fe parent and Fi critic. An INTJ has Fi child and Fe trickster. You can feel their emotions more clearly than any other type. I think you’re a mistyped INFP which would make sense given your frustration of emotions. An INTJ always know how they feel but not how other people feel. An INFJ doesn’t understand how they feel but knows how other people feel. Believe it or not the INTJ is more emotional than the INFJ.

[@kita3256]

So I have taken the mbti about 7 times hoping each time to be something else... each time I say, I will answer even more honestly lol and I do. But I always do. And I am an INFJ each time. When I read the description, I am basically the poster kid for INFJ. It is spot on. Intj people are awesome but frustrating at times.

[@themettatronus3028]

@@kita3256 The tests are pretty arbitrary. You should look into studying the cognitive functions in order to more accurately assess your preferences/stacking/type.

[@GirlsWithAbs]

You're obviously mistyped, your primary introverted judging function skews your perspective and you keep insisting on ridiculous internet tests to type you rather than learning and understanding the functions and how they work as a system as an Ni-dominant personality would.

[@jeremysmith9694]

Yessss! I'm an INTJ. Thank you. This is great. Good to know I have feelings and care about ppl.

[@sleezybreezy]

Damn hit it right on there when you said INTJ bounces their ideas/feelings off of people. I do this alllll the time just to see, and I struggle explaining it just like you didddd

[@Callibree]

Great analysis Frank. I've taken myers brigg several times and bounce back and forth between INTJ and INFJ, and after listening to you I can say I'm INFJ. It weird. I've been a programmer for 15 years where INTJ would revel in such a field, due to thinking, but as an INFJ programmer I was more concerned about how my users felt about the application and how it suited their needs as opposed to prioritizing a business need or the application scope. I also looked at programming more as act of art as opposed to a business function. Nonetheless I did meet business goals and need at the same time because I had to. When you conveyed that INFJ's looked focus on feeling and value judgements that was dead gave-a-way defining me and talking to people.

[@kaamos1243]

"INTJ here", "intj here", I'm not gonna say that, coz it's sounds so stupid. (I'm intj)

[@mattiabacciocchi2300]

Checkmate

[@aHeroWith1000Names]

Genius comment here. :D

[@prayeraccount8006]

But u just did-

[@fayssal7655]

😂 me neither - INTJ

[@misterminutes4504]

This is contradictory

[@sydneycoelho1719]

This video is a very good explanation. My ex is an INTJ and I am an INFJ. We dated for almost 9 years and we’re very compatible in many ways, but some of biggest issues came from that extroverted feeling/introverted thinking function.

[@godandsarah1306]

Sorry it didn't work out

[@BlushingCreep]

Unf. Thanks for this, Frank. I usually type somewhere between INTJ and INFJ, and I always wondered why/how and which one was more correct. From your video, I think I can understand why/how I get those results and which one is more correct. I'm an INFJ, but I have /strong/ logic functions and I often rely heavily on them, so my Ti is stronger and more developed. It's not as much an issue for me. If I get angry, I can be very hot and passionate about it, but when I'm really angry, I flip to a cold and logical kind of anger that allows me to just...dissect people and arguments with little regard to others' feelings. On my bad days, I mean. I'm not a monster. :D

[@saramassi2822]

Exactly the same thing for me 😂 i rarely get angry with people but when i do i become the scariest person ever even if i talk in the most calme way possible, thats why i try to stay silent and walk away from that situation when i know i may really hurt the other person if i talk back.

[@aliceedmunds4377]

Same here. I may have been really angry a handful of times in my life - but when it happens, you don't want to be around me. If I've been betrayed ... woe to you! I act like an ISTJ - logical and calm to the extreme. Never react to the enemy EVER! ....and then "poof", I'm gone. OR I will expose you. Most people are shocked when they see that side of me. It's not my default. It really has to be bad.

[@seekingthequestion]

It's like you're me XD

[@BlushingCreep]

@Jimmy's girl SavedByGrace -- I can relate to this a lot. I think that the online tests fail to type me (and possibly also you) correctly is /because/ of the coping mechanisms I've had to develop, which also presents as a personality disorder (Borderline Personality Disorder)... So, all of those color my actions, on top of my nature, which is 100% INFJ, but they sometimes skew the way I present to others. Perhaps I'm just an atypical INFJ, at times. I asked in a comment if Frank would do a video on how our life experiences can strongly influence how we act and how that can sometimes contradict our type's typical descriptions/generalities/etc. He said it was a good idea, but who knows! I wish *someone* would talk about it, though. XD

[@BlushingCreep]

@Jimmy's girl SavedByGrace -- For me? I've had the best results with INTPs. My husband is an INTP and he's been the only person who's ever had the patience to deal with my weirdness that was also fascinating enough to keep me entertained, and made me feel unconditionally accepted. I can usually get along with anyone, but gosh, there are some types that irritate the tarnation out of me. ENTJs, for example. Just...don't jive with them.

[@LobeyaPrototype234]

Frank: "Oh if you're an INFJ you care about people and if you're INTJ you don't care about people. That's totally wrong both of them-" What my brain filled in: "Don't care about people." XD

[@chymes681]

Same tho 😂

[@michaellawson2168]

I'm an INTJ and my partner is an INFJ. This vlog is spot on for telling the two apart.

[@lais9884]

OMG yeeeeees, I'm an INTJ and that's so true. The part that we don't need tell our feelings, we don't care that much with others feelings enough to talk about it.

[@Francismochahary]

That omg triggered me

[@amandanorth6526]

Really interesting. As an INTJ, one of my most common practices is to synthesise everyone perspectives / ideas to create a common and useful direction. Feelings are definitely a personal rather than shared experience.

[@hopelesshaddy3332]

One of the things INTJs do is look at different perspectives a lot Even though I'm not one, I frequently do this as well I like to see different perspectives so I can see why everyone thinks the way they do, and how that can improve my case

[@anka6356]

I am INTJ and I cry at movies, videos, you name it. I try to supress it like my life depends on it, but I do cry. (I'm female)

[@wolfthegamer3144]

I feel like i switch between both,maybe its my depression or my own weirdness.... causes me a lot of grief to be honest. Great video BTW keep up the good work.

[@gordondavis6168]

As an INTJ, I do like some humans as beloved pets. Worst thing you can do to an INTJ is to try to control us. If you are loved by an INTJ you are very lucky because the INTJ has scrutinized you and found you worthy. INTJs do not fall blindly in love, they love someone for strong reasons.

[@alainelowell1997]

Love is illogical.

[@1029blue]

This is the best explanation that I've heard, so far. I think I'm a very strong introverted thinker. I tested as an INTJ only once. All other test results were for INFJ, and I definitely feel that that is a better match. Thank you.

[@americanbookdragon]

I'm INTJ. I feel like my personality was shaped by childhood abuse and neglect. I'm introverted because I was isolated from other people outside of my family for 5 straight years. I never went through the public education system so I don't go through thought processes step by step. Since I was emotionally abused, letting myself feel anything was in itself dangerous so I relied more on thinking things through. I used the internet to raise me also, so I had to have a thick skin. I also like structure and planning because my entire childhood was an unstructured mess. The more I look into the INTJ trait, the more I feel like it fits me. I took the test 13 years ago and haven't taken it since.

[@whitneybates168]

I'm an INTJ female. I always thought something was wrong with me because I don't show what I'm feeling or care about feelings outwardly. I thought maybe I was a psychopath or something. Thank you for this James. I feel better now :)

[@arlettasloan6453]

When I had my first boyfriend (living together) he decided I did not care about him at all, because, he made plans to go out with his friends and I didn't guilt him into staying, get upset that he would go somewhere without me, etc. But, to me it was like he was off doing something he enjoyed for a while and in the meantime I got to play the music I liked and dance without anyone watching me. I told him "Well, you are either going to cheat or you are not. If you can't be trusted to go out with your friends without cheating, tell me now and we'll end this." Not because I wanted to end it, but, seriously ... unless he was going to cheat when he went with him there were zero reasons for all that drama.

[@trajansmethod2050]

@@arlettasloan6453 but you dumped him at some point? i dump everyone, they get so tedious they understand nothing

[@nicoleperron3315]

​@@arlettasloan6453I felt the same way, I wasn't going to spend my life going through his pockets or phone or Facebook if I need to do that the relationship is pointless. I did get you're cold you hate my family and as a teenager I apparently intimidated guys because I wasn't giggling and I looked them in the eyes and didn't play games.

[@Yulietime]

Love this interpretation and explanation. My sister is an INTJ and I am an INFJ and I can see incredible teamwork and potential to balance out each other's perspectives with a very mutual understading.

[@V.Hansen.]

"Stay cool and attractive " Me: notes definitely not an INTJ. We would say "stay rational and autonomous"

[@lalakuma9]

I think you meant to say, "Live long and prosper" 🖖

[@wikiliebyrd8889]

@V. Hansen I laughed at this so hard 🤣😂😂😂

[@toolboxevolution7456]

👏

[@Jojo-qw3on]

Intj: I don’t have a problem admitting that I’m wrong but sadly I’m never wrong.

[@DakotaMcKenzieArt]

Fascinating. This has me thinking for the very first time that I might be an INTJ.

[@Kathy_Laurel]

I'm an INTJ but I can get really emotional, so at times I was wondering if I wasn't mistyped. However, I came to a conclusion that I never/almost never make decisions based on what I'm feeling, and I'm also more interested in what other people think (in terms of logical arguments for/against sth, for example) than what they feel. I remember when I first went to see a shrink to talk through some stuff and the moment she started to ask me about my emotions, I was just completely lost, it was alien territory to me. My feelings can occasionally wreak havoc on the inside, but on the outside people think I'm this calm, reserved person. It's a bit bizarre.

[@godandsarah1306]

Intj here. Yes me too

[@Enigma96969]

I’m a INTJ and my father in law is a INFJ. It’s very interesting hanging out with him. I’m a electrician and he’s a doctor… so he’s smarter than me :p maybe…lol… at least status wise. I do really respect and admire him and how he’s raised my wife and has lived his life. I’m a Christian and he’s Jewish, just another fun topic we speak about with him ;). Thanks for the video

[@amaliehoelwagle8154]

It’s one AM here and I am once again watching plenty of videos about INTJ. It’s actually freaking me out how accurate this is.

[@venefica2537]

The funny thing about my results was that "0% feelings" I've got. The 0% extroversion was pretty satisfying as well.

[@happilyeverafter1528]

Lol how even-

[@twal3]

I always felt like the lead character/physician from the TV show "House" was a good example of an INTJ.

[@lais9884]

Yeeeeees

[@PlagueKing_LordFalix]

Im an intj and I have always liked Becker more.

[@kimberlyh.5023]

Don Draper ("Mad Men") and Lisbeth Salander ("Girl with the Dragon Tattoo") too.

[@koishi8361]

I'd going from your typing I think Entp is a better fit. Since he is stronger on the things he thinks will work out without caring what other s might really come up with. While he struggles on the Fe. Maybe he is even Intp.

[@maddiesiegmund5623]

INTJs can use Fe to "read the room" and get feeler-based feedback but this is for data collection purposes.

[@hellospontos]

God, this is the definition. Data collection. INTJs feel the room just to analyze it. To figure out the logic behind the human behaviour.

[@pelqel9893]

Actually, to contradict you, this is what INFJs do: Fe is the primary window out into the world that informs Ni. We "read" the emotional state of rooms and people constantly to find patterns and understand personalities and forecast interactions - which is why it's SO draining for us to be around people for too long.

[@hellospontos]

@@pelqel9893 did you know that INTJs are the feelers of NT group and INFJs are the thinkers of NF group. We do similar things with different purposes.

[@maddiesiegmund5623]

@@pelqel9893 We are both Ni dominant types. We read the environment because we are processing the sensory world, Se, through our introverted intuition. So I'd like to correct my original comment, b/c Ni informs the data collection. The difference is the INFJ will use it to fit into the emotional order of the room and whatever else they want to achieve, the INTJ will barely actually act at all based on the data they receive, to the degree that people stereotype us as emotionless psychos. Nope just no external way to express Fe until we consciously develop it when we're older ☺

[@chandanaharim5837]

Oh god, this is soooo amusingly accurate - intj here

[@ei6586]

that was the best way to describe it really, I’m an INFJ too and finally i saw someone who actually doesn’t go by F or T bc of the name, you gave examples

[@Sephaos]

At the age of 18, I was an INFJ. At the age of 27, I am an INTJ.

[@icewarriorr]

I'm an INTJ and I feel very deeply, but I only blow once for a pile of emotions, which annoys and confuses people. Ironically, people call me sensitive, but insensitive to others simultaneously, Fi is really a function with depth and much emotional intelligence, but truth to be told, it only cares about the feelings you can relate yourself with. We really need to learn that we can make others understand what we feel, and the process is reciprocal. But my thoughts, I have a compelling need to speak my mind. And see through the minds of the crowd. I mean, nothing is satisfying (or appalling) as much as an intellectual domination (depends on which way it goes).

[@SerenSanguis]

Damn, it's like you described me and my bestie. I'm an INTJ, she's and INFJ, and really, this was so accurate.

[@GoodnessaGracious]

I just realized your initials are in INFJ. How did I miss that?!

[@jaimeflor4181]

Mine are to 😅

[@VuongNgocHieu99]

Jaime Flor quite a coincide lol, I’m an asian and there is no name started with J . But when i start working my first job I’m required to make a Western name for myself,cause asian name can sometime be hard to pronounce even if you’re asian so the western name will make it more professional , i intuitively gave my self the name “Jake” cause i just feels like that name represent me .

[@Leasa-ss7lv]

@@VuongNgocHieu99 that's interesting I always wonder why people who have distinct names from their culture come to America and change it to such a generic common name. Like Mary,Jo, Jake no offense, My name Tiffany lol a common name too! People can be discriminated against by name so I was thinking maybe that's part of it but at the same time if you keep the same last name then you're not fooling anybody. Lol what you say do makes sense I guess just pick a name everyone can pronounce.

[@sarthakshinde8690]

Cz u aren't an infj