Friends Family Is ANGRY I Refused To Drop Charges When He Shaved My Head In My Sleep r/Relationships

[@sagesaria]

The "YTA because he has cancer" argument, what the FUCK. Cancer does not override consent even if it IS someone you know. PERIOD.

[@KarmikCykle]

And Gary doesn't even have cancer. It's his relative. But I guess reading comprehension is a bit more than we can expect from people on a site about reading.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

So true! If I was diagnosed with cancer, I WOULDN'T want people to shave their heads in solidarity. It's probably attention seeking anyway. What I WOULD want people to do to support me is accompany me to my treatments, bring me snacks if I can't get them myself, spend some quality time with me and most of all, tell me that they love me. ❤ And I would support someone I knew who had cancer in those ways too. ❤

[@nicksuazo4377]

​@PrincessQ-fj9ly If I had cancer, and I heard one of my relatives did that to someone I didn't even know, I wouldn't want them visiting me. The mom and Gary sound unhinged as all hell, ESPECIALLY in the update good lord

[@ecos889]

Taken to the logical extreme if he did have cancer. Which he did not. "man with cancer goes to a hospital on a mass shooting 10 dead but it's totally ok he has cancer so we will let him off the hook."

[@oldwelshlady6584]

He didn't have it, it was a mate.

[@amysmith6791]

It isn't about hair. It is about Gary hearing no and deciding that wasn't acceptable. Taking advantage of an unconscious person is never ok. Gary knew he was in the wrong and waited until OP wasn't in a position to object. NTA by a country mile.

[@TheBlueDsc]

Yep. No means no. Anyone trying to defend this is a terrible person as well.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@TheBlueDsc I agree. Consent is everything and if someone defends this, they clearly don't believe that people should have consent.

[@StrangeSpark]

If this guy is this bad about hair, what would he do if someone he was interested in said "no" to dating and/or s*X?

[@brookerickettson4950]

The whole thing reminds me of SA when the victim is passed out or drugged. Not as server by a long shot, but the vibe is there. Gary is probably going to end up on a list. Hope OP becomes an active ally to SA survivors.

[@abhabh6896]

It is about hair. A presion thinking "Hey, its just hair, take the joke" while committing a crime. Nope. As for mom...slap slap slap right back to her.

[@MisterNightfish]

"Sorry, I can't drop the charges. I'm also off my meds and when I am, I just press charges against assault. You really should understand."

[@aaroneisenman6873]

It may be wrong...but I LOL'D at this!

[@helixxia9320]

😂 yes

[@catsncrows]

Shaved off one of his eyebrows? That just proves how malicious this was. It seems to go a bit beyond off meds. My grandfather was bipolar so I'm not unfamiliar with this. The actions of the mother shows how Gary learned to be a jerk aside from meds

[@TheodoreBotman]

That just shows what it was really about, Revenge and to humiliate him.

[@Zenohbia]

Once they have the official label of mentally ill some just run with it. Assholes love an excuse that they can make people feel extra bad.

[@lynnw7155]

Agreed! Totally malicious. Since when did being "off your meds" become an excuse for assault? Gary needs to be held accountable.

[@marshawargo7238]

I thought it would turn out that none of his relatives had cancer. That he shaved his own head & now felt dumb & wanted to share the dumb with Somebody

[@nicksuazo4377]

​@@lynnw7155For enablers and narcissists, it's always the first excuse to throw at people to make them back down

[@natnuss98]

Glad the mom and the ex friend got their sentence. Assault is not something you can just 'whine' away

[@ynmonroe]

Glad he didn't just take it; I don't mean physically. Instead, he fought back with both of them legally. The idea that the mom would assault someone because they told her son no and then told her no. Just wow. I wonder if either of them have learned anything from the fallout.

[@paulorocky]

That whole family sound crazy!

[@chaosgoettin]

@@ynmonroe you know, while it's awful, it's just funny how OP now has a lot more money to spent just because of that idiot and his mom, lol. if loosing my precious hair that way like op did got me 10K richer, I might need Gary in my life. he looks like he's having money to lose through courtcases, 🤣🤣 But good OP pushed that through.

[@atricewarner5705]

They got off easy.

[@donaldforest1942]

If Gary wants her to drop charges,then Gary's head gets a buzz cut too!!!!

[@queencatherineofaragon938]

Dude?!?! This man touched you while you were sleeping!!! Do I really need to stress how dangerous a person who disregards consent like that is? What if he wants something else the next time he’s violating a vulnerable person? Gary is PSYCHOTIC

[@madambutterfly1997]

Off his meds is not an excuse. Or at least that won’t hold up in court. No judge or jury worth their soul is going to accept the excuse of “he was off his meds”

[@darkmantlestudios]

Yeah, he shoulda fuckin well stayed on his meds

[@amandasunshine2]

The phrase is "worth their salt"

[@1911odisea]

​@@amandasunshine2The phrase is 'worth their Saul' and it's a reference to the hit TV show, Breaking Bad.

[@SymbioteMullet]

​@1911odisea the phrase is "worth their paul", a unit of measurement equal to logan paul's monthly lawyer expenditure.

[@amandasunshine2]

@@SymbioteMullet The phrase is "worth your doll" and it's from the 1100 when people were paid in haunted Victorian dolls

[@lindaouellette6656]

Well, I’m confused…did mom think OP would change his mind about being assaulted….by assaulting him????😮😮😂

[@BruinPhD2009]

Hey, you keep your solid, logical thinking to yourself! 😂

[@mbyerly9680]

It works with thugs. Scare people to stop them from going to the police.

[@b.c.9358]

Gary's whole family is absolutely despicable

[@condorboss3339]

I think the harrassment from the relatives falls under 'witness tampering' or something related to it. I'm sure the Prosecutor could inform them of the appropriate legislation.

[@pippo17173]

I love how the rest gave up after the charges of Gary and his mom went threw.

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

Proof, Mental Illness can be hereditary.

[@nicksuazo4377]

​@pippo17173 I doubt there even were "others", IMO. I feel like that was just noise from Gary's mom and maybe even some friends Gary had in his pocket. Otherwise, there would have been a lot of passive-aggressive comments from the family when that cousin died.

[@pippo17173]

@nicksuazo4377 if that is the case, the cousin who died is probably rolling in his grave knowing Gary and his mom who supported him, went out like horrible people.

[@mollisagrice6341]

Mom did not apologize on her own. It seems dad put his foot down on both mom and daughter's bad behavior.

[@joshuaadkins9820]

I'm gonna assume the Great Grandfather was on his fathers side not the mothers and If i were the dad i would of thrown both the mom and daughter out for that stunt, absolutely despicable behavior.

[@condorboss3339]

Story 1: Gary's mom sets a new record for 'doubling down' on stupidity.

[@dementedqueen4392]

My niece died from a really aggressive form of cancer. She HATED the whole idea of people wanting to shave their head for her. She asked 'How in God's name would that help her?!' It wouldn't make her feel better or that she didn't have to feel so alone but she DID feel alone because they weren't dying an excruciatingly painful death so who cares if their head is bald when their hair would just grow back after she was dead. Stop shaving your head as a token show of support! OP donated $100 towards this guy he never even met - THAT goes a lot farther than a shaved head!

[@ElleD308]

People don't shave their head to save or cure the person with cancer. They do it as a way to diminish the sense of being the odd one, the bald one, the sick one. And because most people have no idea what else to do but to show in a way they care. Way to diminish their effort and love It's easier, especially for women to be around other bald people than being the only one and having people staring just at you. And sorry but being angry and feeling alone that people that love you aren't dying an excruciatingly painful death is horrifying.

[@satansecretary665]

and the only reason people usually do it is for online likes. some family did it first and people have been doing it ever since for online karma. like you said, people need help, they need someone there, not a FB picture with bald family and friends who never go to see them again till the funeral.

[@dementedqueen4392]

@@satansecretary665 Actually I remember the first time it had been done. It had been featured in an article in People magazine because this was way before social media and on-line anything. A little boy in elementary school had leukemia so all the boys in his class decided to shave their heads as a show of support for their classmate because he had to attend school with them while undergoing treatment. It was sweet then and none of the boys or their mothers thought this was going to be picked up by the local news or eventually PEOPLE. They weren't doing it to show how great they were or anything. They just felt so bad for their classmate. I don't remember it happening again after that until social media hit the scene. People have forgotten WHY the original people did it. What pisses me off about this story here is that OP's friend's family member ended up dying of cancer and he probably felt like shit while dying knowing one of his family members and their mother had committed crimes IN HIS NAME! This is why you don't do it (because we have seen countless stories about people forcing people to shave their heads and it makes the person with cancer actually feel bad that people are harassing people in their name). Did you notice how the cops didn't give a fuck about how the guy explained why he shaved his friend's head? Because they knew anybody who would shave someone's head while they were passed out was not a person who was doing anything truly altruistic but was a danger to the people around them.

[@satansecretary665]

@@dementedqueen4392 i didnt know thats where it originally came from, it makes so much sense that people would take a really touching event and turn it into something so warped and selfish. you're right, ive heard so many reddit stories as well where people try to force others to shave their heads for someone with cancer but the person with cancer, when notified about it, loses their complete shit that people are doing this cause they dont want it. i think more should have happened to this dude for doing that to the OP, he and his mother seem to have more than one screw loose. they both need to be in lil white jackets that tie in the back.

[@impishrebel5969]

@@satansecretary665 Yeah it was largely started something for children to make them feel less bad about having to go around with no hair because they wouldn't be the only ones. Idk why people started doing it for adults.

[@condorboss3339]

Story 2: OP needs to make sure that ALL of the keys to BOTH of his vehicles are secured in a way so neither his sister or mother can get at them.

[@mbyerly9680]

It's obvious who the golden child in this family is. I hope OP can get far, far away from both of these women.

[@dionysus_adores]

Oh yeah the whole comment grandpa would be rolling in his grave because of op is 100% untrue. He gave the car to op not the golden child.

[@hothead2463]

​@@dionysus_adoresNo he probably is but at how the granddaughter or daughter in law is spoiling her daughter with his car.

[@dionysus_adores]

@@hothead2463 true he might just come on up to give her and the mom a good talking to.

[@llamabrat07]

I would also sends text messages to both the mom & the sister, & maybe even the dad if he’s in the picture, stating that the sister does not now, nor even will have permission to drive any of the cars OP owns. The sister & mom will define read it & OP will have proof they knew the sister doesn’t have permission to drive either car. This way if she ever steals it in the future OP the text can be used to refute any claims from the mom or sister that OP gave permission to drive the car.

[@Sylphella]

As someone who has lost family and even the family dog from cancer, I feel like shaving for someone isn't a good way to show support.The best way to show support to a family member/friend/loved one who has cancer is to be there for them by helping them going to appointments, bringing them food for days when they are too weak from treatment, or just being there to make them feel loved and supported.

[@tgbedini]

Even less helpful is the fact that OP didn't even know the person with cancer! How is a stranger, who you don't see, shaving his head going to affect you at all?

[@MemristerBoogieDown]

When my aunt found out she had cancer, I wanted to make her laugh. My hair was already short so I shaved a smiley face into the top of my head and sent it to her… With a little pair of beard trimmers.… That cut the hair way shorter than my clippers could. I had a :-) on the top of my head for a solid week and I’m short lol. Made her laugh every time she saw it. Didn’t do that for support. Support was sitting through the night and heading to the next town over to get this broccoli chicken soup she thought she might be able to eat. Cleaning her house, that kind of stuff.

[@murraystewartj]

Agreed. The whole head-shaving thing sometimes strikes me as more of a "look at me being supportive" endeavor than actually having to spend time doing anything truly supportive.

[@iasomnium919]

@@MemristerBoogieDown If there is any good reason to shave any part of your head for someone with cancer, this right here is how you do it. Support means helping loved ones during a time that's rough in all sorts of ways, not some flimsy "I stand with you" by shaving their own heads and that's it. Make them laugh, take them to appointments, make them food suited to their needs/tastes when they're too tired to get out of bed.

[@rogerrabbit80]

Someone shaving their head to support someone with cancer started with people shaving their hair to donate for wigs for cancer patients. Under those circumstances, it makes sense. Just shaving your head as "support" is, IMO, goofy. It does nothing to help the patient. In some cases it can even be detrimental by reminding them of their own problems.

[@themagicconch.804]

Why do people do stuff like this then get mad when they get the consequences

[@streamerssaymyname]

"That's not the consequences I wanted!"

[@Lordofthelosers01]

Probably because they've never had to be held accountable. Look at Gary's mom who assaulted OP, she didn't give a damn and boasted taking down bigger men in court.

[@jackspring7709]

I don't know: I guess it comes with the territory of being a complete AH. Judging by his family the trash didn't fall far from the can.

[@CesarioNotViola]

I will be saying this instead of "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree" from now on, lol

[@themagicconch.804]

@@streamerssaymyname 😂😂😂

[@NovemberStormChannel]

Story 2: oddly enough I am listening to this as I get ready to go out and look at potential first cars. I'm 27, but even as a teenager I can't imagine feeling entitled to someone else's vechile let alone their inheritance! But it's odd how the mother changed her tune so swiftly at the end.

[@AndyyWithAY]

How TF is it sexist or AH behavior for GGF to leave OP the car. There's not several years difference between OP and sister. GGF was in her life almost same time as OP. He knows she's reckless and dangerous. She would've probably already totalled the car if she got the chance to drive it. Not everything is about sexism 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ I wouldn't leave her the car either and I'm a woman.

[@PardonSylver]

I'm surprised about people glossing over "She almost crashed my mother's car for texting" and focusing on the fact that OP was male therefore GGF must have been sexist for passing the car onto him and not sister. GGF wanted his car taken care of, not wrecked by an irresponsible brat. Giving the car to her when she couldn't follow the most basic rule of safe driving is basically the same as giving a gun to someone with anger issues and poor impulse control.

[@tokonunya8301]

@@PardonSylver Exactly. If I was OP, the sister's entitled behavior would anger me enough that I would not only refuse to give her the car, but I would demand the money back that I gave her for the Fiat, since it's apparently not good enough for her.

[@TsukiKageTora]

Those screaming sexism are probably the same type of people who thing women deserve more than men and are always in the right regardless of evidence

[@robertx8020]

If he was a sexist for giving OP the car (and no, he wasn't) wouldn't he also be a sexist for giving it to his sister? As than he had put mire value on a woman? But I guess that according those AHs it only works one way

[@nicksuazo4377]

Don't you just love when people start talking shit to advocate to brats? I love when people make excuses and come up with BS reasons for someone to have/do something just because "they deserve it" or "they couldn't help it."

[@Mario-SunshineGalaxy64]

My first thought was whether the relative with cancer actually wanted people to shave their heads, I’ve heard a few stories of people that have lost their hair to chemo absolutely not wanting others to shave their own hair. There also the possibility that these people, Gary included, didn’t shave their head in support of the relative but they were really only doing it for clout.

[@pippo17173]

Might be clout but after hearing the part of Gary shaving op's eye brows, makes me think it's a ploy to punish op successful life in a sense. Especially when before this, he probably was only kept out of pity for doing stupid crap like attempting to start an affair.

[@beverlyarcher3744]

My mom was one of those she didn't care if you wanted to shave your head or not it was your choice sadly when she had cancer her friends who said they would when the time came for her to shave hers never happened she was in the stages of losing a lot of it when she passed from cancer

[@mattharrell6880]

As a *former* cancer patient (yes I won my battle) I took the clippers out of people's hands who wanted to shave their head "in solidarity". Shaving your head is a gesture. Helping with day to day things HELPS.

[@owl7072]

It actually is considered assault and/or battery to forcibly cut someone's hair against their will. Hell, parents doing it to their kids as form of punishment is considered emotional and physical abuse, so it makes sense that it still applies as something you can press charges for when its an adult doing it to another adult. Edit: "He was off his meds!" And he can get back on them while he faces the consequences of his actions ❤️

[@paden1865able]

Yeah, most jails and prisons have scheduled times for the inmates to line up and take their meds. They aren't allowed to leave the area until they prove to the officer overseeing them that the pill(s) have been swallowed.

[@llamabrat07]

Hair stylist can also be charged with assault if they purposely cut more of their clients hair then the client wants (a squirming client causing them to accidentally cut more then intended is different from purposely & maliciously cutting more then the client asked for). Even if the client is a minor child who wants to keep their hair long & the parent says to cut off more/all. The actual client is still the child who did not give consent to have that much hair cut off. I’ve heard stories of one parent taking the child to the salon & forcing the child to get a shorter cut then they want & the other parent siding with the child. This happens even when the parents are still married & could be the final straw that leads to a divorce or in a co-parenting situation the other parent has been known to go back to court to have the custody agreement changed.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

@@paden1865able Good. These people NEED to be on their pills.

[@beverlyarcher3744]

Guess it was assault when I was young and didn't want my hair cut till I looked like a boy when I'm female seriously I didn't even look that good with short hair I think my controlling grandma had a say in it which sucks as my hair has a beautiful curly to it when it's long at 11 when I started brushing my own hair yeah I could've done it younger but I hated brushing my hair till that age had the curse of rats nests and no patience for it WHICH sucked as mom like to push to hard on them I also changed the shampoo I used so the nests got less harsher rarely allowed mom to brush my hair after that unless it was to put it up in a braid as I still can't braid 😂 ends up in a bun😂😅

[@beverlyarcher3744]

​@@llamabrat07oh gosh I hated getting my hair cut when I was young I hated sitting still period I was just energetic going to church was so boring period now if it was interesting yes you could get me to sit still but if it was boring I rather be outside running around wearing that energy down

[@AndyyWithAY]

WTF he has cancer?? He does NOT have cancer. Reading is fundamental and so many Redditors don't pass the vibe check 🙄🤦🏾‍♀️ And even if he had cancer so TF what?? Having cancer, even terminal doesn't mean you can assault people. And mental health is a reason, not an excuse. He still needs to be held accountable

[@condorboss3339]

Yes, the commenter who thought Gary was the one with cancer needs to upgrade his reading skills, but OP worded it very poorly and I had to read it twice to get it correctly.

[@halloumi420]

​@condorboss3339 he really didn't word it poorly at all. You just don't have a grasp of the English language

[@dionysus_adores]

Even if he did have cancer it's not ok to break the law. If he beat someone would the people be ok with it cause he has cancer? I'm gonna say no.

[@impishrebel5969]

There's more than a fair few on Mark's comments that fail the listening check, to be fair.

[@condorboss3339]

@@halloumi420 Quote: " _a relative of what used to be a close friend of mine whom we'll call Gary for this story contracted cancer_ " It is actually very poor grammar in that the subject of the verb is separated by a very long parenthetical which is not separated by commas. The 'whom' pronoun is ambiguous in that it can be taken to refer either to the 'relative' or the 'close friend.' The 'for this story' usage is meaningless filler and should be omitted. /grammarnazi

[@maddy8328]

Being off his meds is his fault, and not a excuse for assaulting someone.

[@ynmonroe]

Exactly! I mean going off his meds was as much of a choice as assaulting OP. He put himself in both positions. And clearly this dude has been building up to this for some time.

[@camellia8625]

Sometimes people with mental health disorders may lack insight and/or organisational skills at times which can make it difficult for them to consistently take their meds without assistance. That said irregardless of whether or not he was on meds, or whether or not Gary could fully control his actions, he should still be held responsible.

[@PrincessQ-fj9ly]

I agree. Even if he was mentally ill, he still chose not to take his pills, just like he chose to assault OP.

[@beverlyarcher3744]

​@@camellia8625then maybe they all need to be put in a mental asylum that will make they take their meds

[@bigbearkat2010]

Even with the meds he still sounds like an asshole

[@AndyyWithAY]

I was saying I hoped OP had cameras. Ooh I'm so glad he got it on tape and witnessed by the neighbor. Sounds like mental health issues are hereditary. Just wild she escalated like this.

[@nevadeva]

Omg!!! I am currently battling stage 4 cancer. I’ve had 2 boughts of chemo through the years in which I lost all my hair. I would NEVER want or expect someone to shave their hair for me in “solidarity”. That’s crazy! Why would I want anyone to suffer what I’m going through. It’s so stupid!

[@tgbedini]

My great sympathy for your trials. I'm dealing with cancer myself, though not as urgent as yours. Best wishes.

[@BruinPhD2009]

@nevadeva and @tgbedini, I hope you'll accept best wishes from this internet stranger in dealing with your cancer challenges. I've been shiny bald for years, so I can't offer to shave my head in solidarity; I hope that's okay. 😊

[@asmith8692]

Are you alright with people who donate hair for wigs for cancer patients? Because that is something I did prior to C19.

[@susanmugridge2274]

Bless you, stay strong and go kick the big'C's butt❤

[@nevadeva]

@@asmith8692 oh, absolutely! I am all for people doing anything they feel comfortable with. It should never be something forced on someone. And honestly, I think it’s silly to expect a stranger to shave their head for someone else. How does making a healthy person go, bald help my cancer struggle, you know? Lol.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 nta I can't believe some people were saying its just hair. Just like op said if he wasn't male they'd have a different opinion.

[@sylviajones6745]

I don't mean Juan

[@AndyyWithAY]

Trying to pressure people into doing something like shaving their head is always an AH move. That should always be done only if you want to. And some people who lose their hair are insulted that people shave their head in "solidarity", I know I would be. Like we say round these parts. Always. Press. Charges. 🙌🏾🙌🏾 This person wasn't even OP's friend and no is a complete sentence. OP said no. And as a black woman, my hair grows pretty slow. I'd take all legal avenues and go scorched earth as far as is legal to get consequences for this assault.

[@owl7072]

Not only have I heard stories where some were actually really uncomfortable about others shaving their heads in "solidarity", I imagine that they would be horrified to find out that someone took it as far as to shave _someone else's hair_ while they were _asleep_ and after they said _no._

[@alyzu4755]

Yikes! Gary is scary and dangerous! And so is his mother. Glad OP got it all recorded and had a witness. Story 2: Why, exactly, does sister deserve the car that was left to OP? She and his mother are complete AHs. And OP should stop helping his sister. She's not worthy.

[@Maestrosendgame]

I saw the title and I thought ‘there’s no possible way you could be the ass for not wanting your head shaved in your freaking sleep‘

[@samantharoggelin1467]

Good riddance to that “friend” and the mom. Gross family!

[@Sora-wo4oe]

Wow Gary's mom really had to go over and dig them deeper in lawsuits by attacking someone, and using that from a defense class to attack someone is low. Glad everything worked out for OP that must have been a nightmare to deal with people like this.

[@EluneAnzu]

Story 1: People like Gary and his family need to face consequences for their actions since it's the only way they'll (hopefully) learn. also to any of the commenters in the post saying OP was the AH because Gary had cancer, even given them the benefit of the doubt for misreading IF he had cancer it doesn't justify what he did, those commenters are honestly the type of the people that are the problem, they justify and enable people shitty behavior.

[@carolroberts4614]

Yes, because how exactly is shaving your head going to help a cancer patient? My sister was so unwell she couldn't even have chemo, but I know she wouldn't have wanted any of us to do that.

[@jackspring7709]

Story 1: Off his meds, was he? That's not your problem, OP. Maybe this'll teach him to stay on his meds before he does something else more dangerous. Sounds like his family may be off their meds, too. NTA.

[@messinalyle4030]

I'm no psychiatrist, but I'm pretty sure that "throws a tantrum after not getting your way and will stop at nothing to get what you want" falls under the "character flaw" umbrella, not the "off your meds" umbrella.

[@abelink9229]

Finally! A story where OP immediately uses the appropriate language "former friend" instead of "my friend this, my friend that" throughout the post.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: Sister Just got her license and almost wrecked mom's car. Hell no she does not need a Mercedes. First of all, maintenance will kill her. Second, is the maintenance didn't kill her the insurance would. And lastly when she gets into that inevitable wreck because she showboating in the car, who's paying for it? 🤦‍♂️🤦🤦‍♀️ No, lessons and the cheaper car until she figures out how not to wrap it around the tree.

[@poohbear4515]

I find it funny when she was screaming at OP over the phone, she was really describing herself. Grandpa did the right thing and gave it to OP than see it get damaged in just one drive in heaven by the golden-bitch.

[@AndyyWithAY]

I heard story 2 yesterday on another channel. The sister is a danger to herself and others. She doesn't need a new car, she needs to learn how to drive. You don't reward misbehavior like this. The mom will be complicit if she kills or maims someone. If GGF wanted her to have the car, he would have willed it to her. This dangerous heifer. Obvious NTA

[@jedimasters1462]

I hate how there were comments that apparently called the ggf an AH for leaving the car to op instead of the sister. Considering that she barely skated by in getting her license and nearly crashed her mom's car while texting, leaving her the car would have been completely stupid.

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@jedimasters1462 I said basically exactly this in another comment

[@carolroberts4614]

I don't know if Mercedes come into the category, but in the UK, new drivers weren't allowed to drive cars in the top insurance group. I don't know if that is still the case, though.

[@AndyyWithAY]

@carolroberts4614 that rule was invented for teens like her

[@jasminedavis3030]

Story 1: I'm sorry but, even if Gary DID have cancer, it still doesn't give him a pass to shave someone's head without permission. A terminal illness doesn't suddenly give people a get out of jail free card. If that was the case, EVERYONE would be claiming to be dying to get away with crimes.

[@shadesofjade]

This happened in Norse mythology once. The culprit had his lips sewn shut.

[@damien678]

Appropriate response. I'd lose my f*cking mind if someone cut my long-ish hair or tried to touch my boyfriend's (it's down to his butt) without his permission

[@shadesofjade]

@@damien678 yeah, but at least he replaced the hair. This person doesn’t have that option.

[@paden1865able]

Actually, Loki lost a bet and when the dwarf came to collect his head, he got out of it on the technicality that his neck wasn't part of the wager. The thing with Sif's hair was done as a prank and a completely different tale.

[@TsukiKageTora]

The update: how does this lady kick a man in the crotch just because he is pressing charges against her son for him assaulting him? Like you’re going to be sued and that money the courts will 100% award OP could have gone to the cancer patient…

[@JeantheSecond-ip7qm]

Let this be a lesson to people: press charges for assault if you’re assaulted. People stay like this when they’re never forced to pay consequences for their actions.

[@twillightfairy]

Another thing OP in story2 could do is ask who will be holding/paying for the insurance for a Benz for 17yo who's already been in an accident. After update, sounds like the parents got a clue about how immature sister is so here's hoping for the best for OP.

[@13thMaiden]

What probably happened was mommy dearest didn't even think about the insurance, just her whiny 17 y/o yowling in her ear and wanting it to stop. Likely she then told her husband what a bad son OP was being and Dad went "Are you f****** nuts?! How on God's green Earth will be able to pay for her insurance?!" And then Mommy connected the dots of "Oh shit you're right, and if she wrecks, it will cost 10x more!" Honestly I think Mom just wanted sis to shut up and didn't fully think this through, hence why she came back and later apologized as well as added money to get sis a decent used car (with Dad, hence why I think he was involved in clueing her in to her mistake)

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

1) In Ohio piercing someone's ears without consent or cutting their hair even just a small piece of it, is assault with a deadly weapon. I'm so glad OP is pressing charges.

[@amaccoy]

Story 1: Even if Gary was the one with cancer, he would still be the a-hole. That would not be an excuse.

[@alisonklein105]

Look I have/had cancer. I am not out of the woods yet. I went thru chemo. I lost my hair including my eyebrows and lashes. Believe it, you have lashes for a reason. I didn't ask for anyone to chop hair, demand it of someone else nor threw a fit over it. It just is. The reason the cops arrested him, cutting someone's hair against their will is assault. Look hair male/ female doesn't matter is seen important in some cultures and cutting it without permission should not be allowed.

[@sakurased101]

Story 1 Even if he personaly and the rest of his family had cancer i would press charges for assault and would sue for emotional abuse.

[@delmaplain5358]

Get a lawyer, and report his family for harassment. Do not drop the charges!

[@Girl-Supersonicboy]

S1: as someone who's beliefs/religion has great significance with our hair, it breaks my heart hearing what happened. This is indeed a form of assault, and should most definitely be taken to court. Meds or no meds, dude needs to be held accountable.

[@genechristiansomoza4931]

Story 1: Being on meds is not a free ticket to have a temper. Drop that human off and move on. He is not a friend. Just an attention seeking vampire.

[@hilaryc3203]

Reminds me of a story from my teen years. I briefly dated a guy with long hair (half way down his back) and his mother hated it and was obsessed with him cutting it off. He was out with his buddies one night and when he came home brought a friend home to crash on the sofa. His friend had the same hair; dark brown, down his back. He passed out on the sofa and when my bf's mother woke up early the next morning thought it was her son because he'd buried his face in the pillows, and she grabbed the scissors and cut the hair off to about an inch or two long. Suffice to say all hell broke loose and the parents of the other boy did call the police. I never knew the outcome as I broke up with the bf not long afterwards, but it was an assault.

[@carolroberts4614]

I bet boyfriend kept his door locked after that!

[@hilaryc3203]

@@carolroberts4614 His mom had a big shock. Her entitlement got a kick in the butt. lol I moved on fairly soon afterwards, this story just reminded me of it.

[@xhagast]

First Story: If we guide ourselves by the comments in sites like this, people with REAL problems struggle with them and try their best to live a normal life. So I have decided that anybody who behaves badly and then uses problems as an excuse has no problems. They are just ill-bred trash making excuses to avoid the consequences of their actions. And those that support them are just enablers. I may be wrong but it would explain a lot.

[@denelva]

My 11-year-old niece died from severe complications after a long battles with cancer and the idea of anyone thinking that a number of "supportive" bald heads would do anything positive to us in her family or her friends is beyond absurd. I HATE this type of "solidarity" thing. Altering your looks like that doesn't take the cancer away, because unlike the one with cancer, it's a choice. I have waistlong hair, had about shoulder lenght when my niece got cancer and no way in hell would me shaving my head have been a symbol of support. Cutting of shaving someone without consent is assault too and I'm really glad OP pressed charges.

[@SCP01986]

ALWAYS PRESS CHARGES

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#1 - Good golly and OMG! Gary and his family are crazy - like in spades! So glad OP won the cases and the bad folks had to pay. And the mom? Notice OP stated dear old mum did not shave her head. Yeah, who could have predicted that? LOL

[@catT5236]

As someone who has had cancer I personally find the whole "shaving my head in support" thing to be more performative than actually supportive. It's not really helpful at all. Actual support is: taking the person to appointments, cooking them food, getting their groceries, putting away their groceries, helping them with housework, letting them talk about what they're going through (repeatedly), or providing distractions when they ask. All those things truly help & are real support, but shaving your head just seems like something you can virtue signal about. I didn't need anyone to shave their head for me, I needed them to visit me in hospital & help me get around when I was so dizzy that turning my head made me pass out, as well as the other things I mentioned. There's so many things that someone can do to help but most of them aren't visible like shaving your head, which is why it seems like that's the choice people make when they want to be congratulated on "being so supportive".

[@tatalsaba]

Story 1: what an entitled family, they deserve all the charges they can get.

[@MrBeevee5]

S1 - Odd that anyone would think he would shave his head for someone he didn't even know! Also, the cancer patient would not feel an iota better if OP had shaved his head because he didn't even know OP. The mother with her martial arts skills should have known better. We talked about humbleness in our classes all the time and how to curb our ability to hurt someone.

[@crowdemon_archives]

Problem is it's self-defence classes, so humbleness is never part of the equation for these sort of people

[@luvondarox]

Car OP is gentler than I would have been. I probably would have made a mention about Sister Dearest wrapping her car in a telephone pole hug with the way she's acting.

[@juliebiggerbear7300]

3:20 it’s one thing to put a bit of makeup or nail polish on a friend when they’re passed out, as long as you know they’re ok with that kind of joke. Those things last all of a few minutes on your person and are usually a funny memory. And yes, I have been both the decorator and decorated! What Gary did was so far away from that, there was no excuse for such a malicious act, and I am very proud of OP for standing up for himself. Rock that shiny spine!

[@TsukiKageTora]

“You’re selfish for having 2 cars and I got none” “Yeah and when you wreck it with your pathetic driving skills, no one will have the car will they? Maybe learn to drive before I let you have my car”

[@marilyndwilliams5202]

Hell No! You told him no when asks you before. People need to know that people have boundaries.

[@Graves933]

Story one:nta. I recently had to drop a friend because he was being very disrespectful, only to me mind you, in our friend group chat. i was done when he revealed personal information then said I might not be LGBT because I don't feel comfortable using lables outside queer. Then he left the chat and when I messaged him a few days later asking if I'd get an apology he said the age old "I don't think ihave to apologize " To which I said "K I don't wanna be your friend if you'll be disrespectful" Then he went on a tirade of how I'm selfish and how I know he is going through a hard time and he is mentally ill but like, so am I. I don't say ahitty things to my"friends" and expect everyone to be okay with it. It has been years of this cycle and I'm finally shutting the door. Op also needs to slam that door shut

[@noreenhallett7366]

Shaving or cutting someone’s hair without permission is classed as Actual bodily harm in UK

[@andreavanhoof6047]

Story 1: NTA; that was a gross violation of your agency and violation of your privacy!

[@KE-hr4sb]

S2: “If *someone* wasn’t so selfish, sister wouldn’t have to go through the hassle of buying a car…” (Welp, we know who the golden child is!) If you paid for your own car, respond: “I had to go through the hassle of buying my own car. I guess that means selfishness runs in the family. You want your golden child to receive a free car, you’re welcome to stop being selfish and buy her one yourself.” NTA, OP. Your mother has a favorite, and it’s obviously not you. Even after her car almost got totaled, she wants you to hand over yours? Regardless, this is what Ggp wanted: he knew you would appreciate and take good care of it, and also knew that she would not. Keep honoring his wishes, don’t give her any money since she’s entitled and harassing you, and flip them the bird.

[@jasoncarter4343]

Entitlement isn’t born, it’s created… usually by the parents.

[@nicksuazo4377]

This is the first time where I'm actually hoping OP is doing better and feeling better, if you know what I mean. I've heard of plenty of entitled moms on reddit, but I've never EVER heard of an EM that wasn't just all talk. She knew how to bark, and that's the one thing that caught me by surprise. To Gary's mom, the only respect I give you is knowing how to throw hands. Everything else is just you being an unhinged human being, and all those little traits just bled into your son.

[@wildridegaming874]

NTA - Shaving someones head without their consent is assault

[@katiecakesl4691]

Off your meds is never an excuse. Either you are off your meds and still fully understanding of what you are doing or you are so far gone that someone in your life should always be monitoring your medication intake and you may need time in a facility. The thing is that Gary did something incredibly premeditated and calculated to cause harm. He had to bring his shaving kit, wait until OP was alone and passed out, and then intentionally shave his head and eyebrow. That is not something someone fully out of their mind would do. That shows intent and while I don't doubt that Gary is mentally ill this really seems like a case of just being a bad person.

[@RandomTrinidadian]

Okay, just by the titke alone i will say NTA.

[@sophiescott143]

"Why didn't you, a man, defend yourself against the female attacker?" Well, for one, if he had he'd have gone to prison for beating a woman.

[@dakotasan8719]

It took my hair four years to get where it is now (half way down my back). Gary would have been leaving in a freaking ambulance if I had been in OP’s position.

[@veezopolis]

"Why didn't you defend yourself against Garys Mother?" Yeah I'm sure a man defending himself from an old lady would go over well.

[@crowdemon_archives]

He was also caught off-guard, of course he won't be able to react on time if he's not trained that way.

[@mylifewithautism3958]

If someone did this to me, cancer would look like a picnic compared to how scorched earth I’d go

[@lorrainemontagnon1537]

😊Good afternoon Mark. If this guy shaved my head I would wax his chest when he was asleep, then I would sue him.

[@harleyquinn5774]

Physical battery. Criminal charges are exactly what he is required to face.

[@sandracox4341]

To the people that said OP was the AH because Gary has cancer. First Gary doesn't have cancer a family member does. And two even if Gary had cancer and asked op to save and op said no. That's it. You don't shave someone's head while their asleep. Plus even if Gary had cancer that doesn't mean he's not a toxic shitty person. But again he wasn't the one with cancer and people who called op an AH because they didn't understand the story are delusional.

[@toshipanda235]

Story 2: Based on what you describe as your Sister's behavior. She is entitled, and you're right she's 17 and doesn't need a Benz. In all fairness your GGF probably saw your Sister's bratty behavior and he did not want reward such awful behavior with a really nice gift.

[@wolfsage5049]

Story 1: OP's lawyer: Ms. Gary's Mom, why did you assault my client? Gary's mom: Because he called the cops on my son, Gary, for assaulting him & he refused to drop the charges. My family & I even politely harassed OP to make him drop the charges & again he, rudely, refused. OP's lawyer: So, in response you then went out of your way to find his place of residence & assault him? Gary's mom: Hell's Yeah, I've beaten up way bigger guys than OP! Judge: Ma'am you're going to jail. Gary's mom: Wait what!? (surprised pikachu face) OP's lawyer: That was easier than I thought it was going to be.

[@thebirdchannelforfans623]

To the people saying it’s just hair: besides it being attached to OP's body and he has a say in doing what he will with it, I also ask what they’d think if they saw a customer facing employee with a partially shaved and possibly messy etc, what would they think? Hair matters and doesn’t grow out overnight

[@mentallydisturbedscience8900]

I never thought shaving heads for cancer patients was a good idea. It’s a way of grandstanding and taking all the sweet, sweet cancer attention for yourself. How about we take care of our friends with cancer by feeding them, taking them to doctors appointments, holding their hands and crying with them when they’re sick and scared, etc instead of trying to hog all the “glory” for ourselves?

[@stargazertomura2708]

Garry could have seriously hurt OP if he hadn't done it properly. Plus the fact he admitted he did it to the cops shows how he was PROUD of inflicting this kind of hurt onto another person WITHOUT remorse.

[@mogulmade]

Me after Update: Ooooh, so that's where Gary got it from! Throw the whole family away!

[@jacearmor5274]

If the commenters on Story 2 think that an irresponsible girl not being given a car is sexism, I'd hate to see how they deal with actual sexism.

[@joeschmo622]

What a lot of dimwits seem to forget that a whole family shaving their heads might not be seen as "a show of solidarity" by the family and friends, but more of a constant reminder of, "GD it, I'm bald because of the f'n chemo", every time he/she looks at a fellow-baldy. *DON'T DO IT.*

[@heatherweir8726]

Remember people doors are not soundproof. You don't have to open the door to anyone.

[@brendamuirhead483]

Story 1…NTA…..this will teach your friend an important lesson about taking his medication…well done….

[@user-fg4tn8ot6b]

Story one: Damn. Gary deserves those charges. And I hope OP thinks about using rosemary oil for his hair. It won't make it grow back fast, but it may help in the growth and strengthening of it. *That's just insane.* 😬 After update: Ooof. I'm not a man, but I felt that. *The kick in the groin. I can see where the insanity comes from. What she learned it's for SELF-DEFENSE, not ASSAULT.* 😧

[@joannegregory3024]

Whats wrong with that family, if one of my sons did this i would slap him myself it’s disgusting

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

When are people going to get over the fact that they aren't going to get what they want in terms of inheritance? Good grief.

[@KarmikCykle]

Gary's relatives need to stop enabling him.

[@KarmikCykle]

Oh God, it's so much worse than enabling.

[@SilverstreamPJ28]

Story 2: She absolutely shouldn't be allowed to drive anything if she doesn't know how to drive stick, let alone a Mercedes. In my country you're literally not allowed to drive unless you're proficient in driving stick.

[@kacielawrence]

OP needs a permanent restraining order against Gary and his entire family because they're unhinged.

[@raviyien6560]

Story 2: It was op's ggf's WILL that op got the car. Why is his sister so fricking disrespectful to a dead persons last wishes?

[@ouranos9290]

Lots of people who suffer cancer think shaving your hairs is stupid, that doesn't show any compassion of any sort to them. It's just for the show. You don't have to. It brings no help to their fights. Just be present.

[@cpaul9269]

Gary's mommy beat you up?! Oh dear.......that can't be going down well.....lol!! Glad OP cooked her up good for it though!!! hahahahahah

[@JayeEllis]

Yeah, I'd have pressed charges, too. You DO NOT get to cut off pieces of other people's body, even the ones that grow back. That's assault, and the charges are deserved.

[@graysonoliver2632]

I'm bipolar. I get angry angers and not once have I laid my hands on anyone for not doing what I want. This person was probably used to milking his disability.

[@slayermoon666]

Op… double down… screenshot anything and everything you can… sue the ex friend and his cronies… go to the max… and then get a restraining order against them…

[@spencerbannon4298]

I had a friend die from cancer. When he first shaved his head, he had found out that a group of his friends were planning to surprise him by shaving their heads and then revealing it to him at a party. He got so pissed off at them. He told them that all they did was remind him that he’s sick, and that he felt that it wasn’t actually supportive, because they were making his sickness about them. He stopped talking to a lot of them, that they didn’t even know he passed until after his wake.

[@pixelthesketch5257]

Pro life tip: People who attack you verbally by calling you entitled for not sharing, or giving up something you're rightfully earned, inherited, or were gifted are only projecting their entitlement. Their words only reflect their own awful, entitled behavior and it doesnt mattee the circumstances.