Gastor Almonte - Brooklyn Batman - This Is Not Happening - Uncensored

Gastor Almonte's cousins freak him out with their Joker mask, so he takes matters into his own hands.
Watch full episodes of This Is Not Happening now: www.cc.com/show...
Follow Gastor Almonte on Twitter: / gastoralmonte

[@standup]

Think your family is messed up? Think again. Watch comedians share their most ridiculous family stories on “This Is Not Happening:” kzbin.info/aero/PLD7nPL1U-R5pgIBSOJV-fL4uIWR-DZbfI

[@Pataganja]

Comedy Central Stand-Up it’s amusing how much y’all probably spend on the cringey pointless intros on this show. I always skip them lol.

[@jamesbelrose8813]

Who cares not funny

[@autumnkoshy2663]

Pataganja danny gonzalez

[@nayafreesbaum4002]

"Y'all crushing this parenting thing btw"...Beautifully adorable story. Props to dad.

[@SmashBrosOdyssey64]

"You know your father once stabbed somebody over snapple?" is quite possibly the best start to a bit I've ever heard lmao.

[@charlesgordon5156]

The pay off on that story was worth it. Emotional and humorous... invite him back again

[@mauricobian]

Charles Gordon his story for next season is even better

[@aronbalogh3786]

He has a new one called reverse drive by.fillmed bout a week ago

[@danielfigueroa9937]

So true

[@welshdober]

ashien miller I seen him do that in a bit before and it was hilarious, the best was when he was talking about the time he was on a ledge half naked talking to the cops.... guys hilarious

[@lashawannajoyner5993]

I love his dad! ❤️

[@kuunami]

He's a master at set ups and pay offs. That's how comedy is done right.

[@yfdaflexamusic9845]

You speak the truth sir.

[@DannySullivanMusic]

i know! entirely true!!

[@LukeO870]

👍👍

[@AsukayaBailey]

"I was Michael Keaton fighting Michael Keaton" - brilliant

[@FeyTheBin]

Indeed it is!

[@bigstunna2049]

😂😂😂😂

[@YouTubeWatching67]

"I was Alfred" 😭😭😭

[@TwentyOneBunSalute]

Fire with fire lol

[@DannySullivanMusic]

haha dude best comment ever

[@BugZ595fB]

"... I ain't solve that last one, but I was entertaining enough for Them to end it amicably" 😂😂😂

[@dreareaper5627]

Fuckin r.i.p.

[@adriennejordan715]

👍👍👍👍

[@omaleyrnb6060]

How they didn’t laugh at that like I did shocks me.😂 Brooklyn Batman is the one.

[@cadinjones6891]

Mexican got on boots

[@ieatpoolnoodles2861]

Lol

[@chickennugget9197]

Somebody call cici you gonna need knife

[@zacpeterson1966]

Practice the rock and lean

[@jawgaoutdoors3499]

I just wayched that one

[@blaizem3141]

😂 I love the internet

[@elmanonegrajr.1728]

" that's the kid who thinks he's Batman " " no that kid is Batman "

[@vhr3717]

🤣🤣🤣

[@noelle2654]

That's amazing. "Just make sure my son never wants to hang out with you". That's love right there.

[@TheDukeOfDallas]

"This my daughter's room." "I know, you're welcome."

[@BlueRidgeJ79]

This guy is a comedian, but above that, he's a fantastic storyteller. Props to this young man.

[@adooo5669]

Those are the best among all comedians!

[@sdsurfgirl60]

Great story telling is the highest form of comedy imo. Keeping people's undivided attention is extremely difficult.

[@Zwaks]

Doug Smith, Ali Siddiq, and Gastor Almonte are my favorites so far.

[@mkilic10]

plus I AM THE MACHINE

[@MajesticPotato-oz1xc]

Do It Fix It Fuck that bitch this is rUsSIa

[@therubenp88]

@@mkilic10 FUCK THE MACHINE that story is bullshit

[@therubenp88]

u gotta see bombing in sears and cumin

[@ryanb2843]

The One Who Laughs agreed. Both much funnier than Bert’s dumb story. I just don’t think that man is funny. Never have, never will.

[@jusbruce7213]

Went to high school wit Gastor 💯he always been funny

[@Godgaming-tq6nu]

OK...? Sure

[@kadoharp]

@YOU AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX cause it's extremely easy to lie on the internet

[@brohan914]

Hahaha I bet he was the class clown. It's always the bigger guys

[@queen_ofall2360]

Thats really cool!

[@christine2166]

fun kicks laughter and no education?

[@jameshill2450]

"My 2+2 game was crazy." Had to pause for a couple minutes while I proceeded to lose my shit.

[@matthewclark1006]

Yeah bro... he four loko

[@lucho1limte]

explain

[@puertoricanboy100]

I lost it after he made a callback saying he had 3 + 3 next week

[@WhoIsTHood]

Him being a kid but talking as a grown man is hilarious 😂😂😂

[@UndahDahg]

This was actually a very beautiful story with great comedic delivery and joke writing. So glad I decided to click on it!

[@Pme12906]

Why did you have to say actually is it hard to believe a black comedian could tell a beautiful clean story

[@vynicioricharte8163]

Phillip Edwards he was probably not interested with the title but you don't have to bring race into it especially because he didn't say anything about his race.

[@roberttidwell7864]

Phillip Edwards he is fucking Hispanic you idiot!!! Stop struggling so hard to pull your overplayed race card out of your pocket loser.

[@IMALEO93]

@@roberttidwell7864 you realize you can be more than one race or ethnicity tho right

[@roberttidwell7864]

IMALEO93 yes I totally know and understand that, yet that isn’t the case here. My comment remains valid.

[@CaptainCrashDummy]

These intros need to lose funding

[@concretewave2339]

Ted _ FACTS

[@deucedeucetv6616]

Yea those shits are trash

[@yupp561]

Right, I WAS NOT expecting that 😨

[@pablog8354]

For real! Weird as shit. I don't want to watch the clip anymore

[@ralo390]

Seriously a waste of money and just get in the way of what we came for

[@phattony32]

You had me at snapple.

[@l-dogthegreat4746]

phattony32 FACTS

[@dannybrailey8089]

I second those Facts!!

[@dannybrailey8089]

Allen Ayler you just waisted your time!!! ; )

[@bonibontv7374]

"This whole time I wanted to be batman but turns out I'm Alfred " That shit is hilarious man.

[@vrce.]

i love it.the way he calls his father his hero. it’s beautiful.

[@woleakinbi69]

Performed on the same show as Gastor at Comix at Mohegan Sun last year. Funny dude, super humble, and the dude can spit! Talented like a mufucka! Good shit Gastor! #respect

[@isaiahmoseley5503]

"I wasn't even scared of the joker i was scared of Beetlejuice." 😂😂😂

[@brothaclutch984]

Lol his dad basically was the big villain behind the scenes after a wild plot twist 😂

[@mitsuomits9077]

Gastor Almonte is the alias that Batman uses when he goes undercover in the hoods.

[@jdtheebosshogg]

“THE RATCHET GASTOR, I KEEP A GUN IN EVERY HOUSE”😂😂😂

[@BEARLIKESTRONG]

The Ratchet? I'm not a rapper. I don't know what that is? - dead

[@mitsuomits9077]

STLGOODS BEWARE. ...I guess I'm not a rapper either😕😅... Have to google it

[@ladedade23Blunticus]

I learned what a ratchet was from a future song

[@nzwaywish]

Got nothing to do with rap it's slang you stupid shit

[@ladedade23Blunticus]

if you not from the region or in that area where they use the slang you learn it from pop cultural i.e rap music you stupid shit.>,

[@mitsuomits9077]

nassim zway Well, he is just repeating exactlty what the comedian said in his story.... And we all know that the comedian said it to make fun of a stereotype... Which is something that comedians do all the time.

[@billiondollardan]

definitely one of the top 3 stories ever on this show

[@billiondollardan]

yeah! Ali Siddiq. I've watched that one like 10 times lol

[@lilpechan]

Not a simple comedian but a amazing comedy writer and story teller. nice one!!

[@ChiragSaraswati]

Yep, Joey Diaz's story was pretty cool too!

[@thesmellycatjazz]

Sean Patton's Cumin story is my favorite one. Maria Bamford's was really good too. Got me to watch her Netflix show Last Dynamite.

[@bobcatlewis8452]

Yes

[@808mvrz]

Storytelling skills are on point, perfect timing too. 💯💯💯💯

[@robertgarcia8430]

“You’re crushing this parenting thing by the way” lmao

[@YUNGBEANAH]

"Cuz when the joker laughs that means some crazy shit is about to go down"😂💀

[@justinwhu7247]

I think his dad is more of "flashpoint series batman"

[@theoddace]

Justin Whu Thomas wayne

[@RandomRaichu]

this killed me thank you lmao

[@a.brianharris148]

We don't talk about his Pops ... no smoke wanted

[@SaVaGeNation11]

Gastor, brother we are waiting for a net flix special!!!!

[@carloscardona9255]

"damn yall crushing this parenting shit! keep it up!"

[@845H1R]

BEETLEJUICE! Michael Keaton fighting Michael Keaton Hahahahaha! Rate this guy, never heard of him but Imma keep an eye out!

[@solodolotrevino]

Who else always fast forwards to 1:00 so you don't spoil the punchline for yourself?

[@xevious2501]

Big Shout to East New York, my once upon a time home, Born and raised. Cypress Hills

[@collybeans586]

this guy speaks like a poet. :)

[@tylercrafton7158]

I hope my son can talk about me like that one day. Every kid should look at their dad as Batman

[@jamesgoines7663]

Yeah, we all want the same thing

[@quel66football66]

Very dope story, could connect with this being a younger sibling seeing the "grown folks" doing their thing but keeping me distracted with activities..or having my brothers scare the shit out of me with costumes or teasing. Much respect keep grindin!

[@ariesmoon222]

i’ve watched this video so many times now and it still makes me laugh. he is super funny and an amazing storyteller. by far my favourite one they should invite him again!!

[@savannahhuso2134]

"But this is my daughter's room." "I know. Your welcome."

[@8ev8ev8ev]

Props Gastor..congrats on making it to Comedy Central!

[@tokokuken]

I've never actually heard of this dude before seeing this. I like him. He's real polished with his storytelling. Is he at the half hour special level or have CDs yet?

[@FLnative13thGen]

You know, I've watched dozens of these but not a single one ever captivated my interest like this fine storyteller.

[@kalua92]

I loved this set so much. His delivery and writing is incredible. his adlibs through out the set were perfectly placed.

[@BoyWonder1914]

Great dad. Well minus the gun in the daughters room lol. Sometimes directly telling a kid not to do something only tempts them to want to try it more, and they end up needing to learn for themselves the hard way. That was an incredibly thoughtful way for him to keep his son uninterested in ever wanting anything to do with gangbangers or drug dealers.

[@orriest]

Excellent comedian. Insulted no particular group, was extremely funny, and told a great story. That is how you do it.

[@Thats_MarieHoney]

What a blessing to have a family like that. It’s so many amazing black fathers no one could ever touch their teaching style for their boys to men.

[@danongorf4721]

*pushes glasses up* Actually, sir, Joker does not fear Batman. He craves his attention and - in some ways - loves him.

[@fatpowerful]

I have a the punisher as my photo. But what you just wrote, is really nerdy.

[@danongorf4721]

[@flatsun2132]

I pretend to be a Knight Templar

[@reinaldopessoa2603]

Danongorf well actually when they first created Batman, joker was definitely scared of him.

[@professorpancakes6545]

If the Joker is afraid of anyone... it's Batman. Although he may be too insane to even properly realise his own fear. *straightens pocket protector*

[@SharpArt2010]

I think the best part of this story is that he accidentally became just like Batman. In Batman begins they say he's gotta become what he fears to not be afraid and that's why he's a bat. This dude became Micheal Keaton to get rid of his fear of Micheal Keaton and didn't even know it

[@Manoffire959]

How have I not heard of this guy? He's tremendous!

[@theoddace]

Tanpopo okayyy joey

[@sonofthesea]

This guy and so many others doing these This Is Not Happening comedic storytelling series are SO GOOD!

[@ORGANICsoulJAZZ]

Dope, he taught his son to be a business owner.

[@SootherousNoise]

Sorry but the Intro Of "The baby coming." Has me terrified.😂

[@kylemcmahon3314]

They got a real shitty habit of scarin the shit outta me

[@DaRealH2]

That Michael Keaton line was hilarious

[@Crobin008]

2+2 game is crazy!!, ain't nobody seeing me but 3+3 is next week!!!

[@dawnbreak3299]

This guy.. for real ... we need more of him EVERYWHERE. I can't be the only one that sees he is a straight king. Funny af, had a kid and wife young, got a real G dad that did his thing as a dad raising this king , he got property in flourishing Brooklyn and mans up... I see you 👑

[@KamariaSimonee]

I loved this stand up from start to finish and after. 😭❤️

[@l-dogthegreat4746]

This might be one of the Greatest STORY EVER TOLD 😂😂😂💯💯👏👏 and the delivery was prolific👏👏👏👏

[@NamedForANightmare]

"I'm not scared of The Joker, I'm scared of Tim Burton movies." Hunny. Hilarious story, gotta show everyone this guy.

[@hazardltg]

THIS DUDE IS HILARIOUS!!!! THE END HAD ME DYING

[@MA-qg5ju]

This is hands down one of the best ones yet. in my top 3

[@201jaecee]

Yo this guy is talented. Great storyteller.

[@Generational_Wealth]

This was beautiful. Beautiful and HILARIOUS!

[@saintsole9005]

Never would have imagine there was another Real Batman out here. It's a blessing to have good parents ❤️

[@crisrios4369]

I watched this thousand times and im still laughing 😂

[@Vaveteran]

I think alot of people missed the joke "my cousins had a beef with rival drug dealers up the block...I didn't solve that problem but the point is I was entertaining enough to end it amicably" That was brilliant...every bit I've ever seen him do has masterful story telling

[@ykssnilloc3259]

Yoo lets get more of this dude real shit 😂💯

[@ZZZZZ_________________]

One kid would go: there’s the kid who thinks he’s Batman & another kid would go: that kid is Batman 😂🤣

[@Pandaxd21]

this is how you tell a story

[@Jimmy8InFinity]

His dad’s the master mind of his life 🤣🤣 a literal shadow man

[@jkreed12]

One of the best stories ever.bring him back!

[@jehadthegreat5326]

This man story telling is on another level

[@F40LM]

He is so likable, wanna hear more from this guy!

[@RideorDieRob]

Gastor, this holds up as one of the best I've watched. It'd be dope to see you in my town.

[@iliketorun4421]

This guy needs a full on show, like an animated series about his life or something

[@jeffbinet12]

this man did everything right. not many comedians can tell a captivating story that is both humorous and lands emotion especially not for a solid 10 minutes. i hope my guy is making business rn bc he’s showing what standup and comedy is about

[@SamBassComedy]

I had to hang on for a moment leading up to the third part, but it was way worth it. Hilarious.

[@WickedIonic5N]

I love his stories about his dad lol.

[@LetsBeClear87]

Your dad knew the first place youd go in an emergency, your heart. Thats where id safely and securely and super openly with spouse etc put the ratchet in my house if i had a child too. Good dadding

[@forthesakeofsanityandsuch9331]

Yup, like when your daughter hits the wall with her toy or during a tantrum and cuts herself. Or finds the gun and accidentally shoots a friend. Great parenting

[@sciencenate]

Ir0n Zulu yeah you always got extra time to go grabbing stuff from the upstairs room under the heater - fast response time. Oh wait, you say these things can be portable? Maybe he should carry it

[@nadimac5105]

I can listen to this man talk all day.. 😍😍😍

[@morganrichardson8859]

This was a beautiful, heartwarming story that also happened to be funny. Wow!

[@marshalbaek5580]

That was the best story put to humor and made real by real life. Standing ovation from Texas.

[@DizzyDaGoat314]

This man is a genius 💯💯😂😂

[@KingJRZJ]

This deserves an animation 😂😂😂

[@milliondollarshaft]

I want something easy like this parenting thing 😂😂😂. Amazing storytelling and super funny.

[@michaelfaulkner5839]

Dude is seriously an amazing story teller! 👏🏾👏🏾 Props big man!

[@myownsundays]

This is one of the best stories I've ever seen on this and I've seen alll of them At least top ten.

[@nellybesweet]

Wow he funny as hell🤣😂🤣😂 I like when a comedian is funny without being loud and over the top! Loving this guy!!

[@martinjosecastro]

"thats the kid that think he batman.. nah he is batman"

[@jibrielwalker1940]

Mitchell was spooked 😂😂😁

[@reneehawkins7266]

I laughed so hard. This was awesome.

[@sorandumb4768]

Lowkey his dad probably saved his life so he didn’t turn out like his cousins. One of the realest shit I’ve heard on here.

[@trevorhandberry2158]

Son from my hood here in BK. This is dope. East New YUK!

[@kadenwright4917]

*dad pulls the strap out the hiding spot nobody else know about* "yo pops this is my daughters room" *"i know"*

[@wisspa8407]

This dude is a dope 🔥 ass story teller.... had me feeling like I was there too 😂😂

[@leslys1200]

Why am i barely finding this comedian right now? His story telling and delivery is insane.

[@radtv5150]

This guy is a great story teller. I gotta look up some more of his stuff.

[@manhattan7850]

Yeah definitely, looks like he's a new on the comedy scene. You see his White Castle bit?

[@radtv5150]

I did! that and the knickerbocker love story. this dude has a bright future in stand up.

[@QN5Music]

The white castle story is incredible.