Getting stuck in the negatives (and how to get unstuck) | Alison Ledgerwood | TEDxUCDavis

[@Unknown-sd8bv]

One thing I heard is that to get out of the negatives, you can create a compliment journal for yourself, and in this journal, instead of writing down the negatives of each day, you write out small achievements you make each day. For example, you managed to get yourself up at bed. You managed to go to work. You managed to eat a meal. These accomplishments will be small but definitely will help you build up your self confidence in the long way.

[@breindyweisz35]

I thought of the same thing.. a victory journal I kept here and there.

[@DepressionTalks1]

From a person that deals with depression and anxiety, this was VERY helpful. Thank you for sharing your message with us! It was deeply impactful.

[@SaifulArifin17]

Immanuel Jones what kind of "help" you just found after saw the video?

[@mhinatinio3897]

Depression Talks With Immanuel t

[@mowalivefanatic1700]

Try to also seek for help and have tried eating organic foods? Fresh veggies, seeds, nuts and fruits?

[@J.L.Nelson]

I suffer from depression and anxiety as well. I've been already working on trying to stick to positivity before I saw this video. I love the Ted talks.

[@danpos1]

@@J.L.Nelson In that case PLEASE stay away from the News, Newspapers and the media in general. No positivity to be found there :(

[@ramik81]

We live in a society that is obsessed with success, and isn't interested in learning from their mistakes. That's why those that choose to learn from their mistakes enjoy the most success in life.

[@violetmoon6233]

🙏

[@tingle2323]

Yes but not every time.. sometimes we need to use our brain.. mistakes have intensity..if ur mistake get hurt u or someone else. .u cant really come from it

[@71degrees]

It's true. I tried to explain success to my cousin who is afraid of failure. I used WD-40 as an example. She is still to afraid to fail and chooses to stay in her bubble. I will try again, even if it takes 39 times.

[@ersofrescht4661]

That is so true. I've been in a workplace where you simply cannot have any mistake, that it is unacceptable and that you would be considered unfit for the role would there be any lapses. It's quite toxic. Even for things out of your control, they would maniputlate the conversation and will make you feel responsible for it anyway whatever the reason is.

[@adrey2149]

Wow I just realized what a negative place the world, or everything is and why. I get why people are like that now. Thanks for your comment. 😇

[@hurricanefreak101]

Crying a bit because this has helped with my anxiety and been stuck with negative thoughts and understand know that I have been feeding them with my negative perspective - thank you

[@elsiegonzalez5923]

Yesss....this takes works and effort but you can do this. Consistency is key!!!

[@simpleliving4205]

Elsie, how can you do it with being consistent? I try so hard?

[@krissymcmahon3106]

@@elsiegonzalez5923 yes please help with how you have been successful. If I have a panic attack or feel anxious all day then the next day I wake up anxious its going to happen again.

[@elsiegonzalez5923]

@@simpleliving4205 Hi...sorry for the late reply. It's not easy...not at all. Sometimes my mind is in a loop. I think of something else and then it works but them minutes later, there it goes again. There will be days where it will be great and others where you just want to sleep and not wake up because of the dread. Be relentless; you are fighting for you, for your peace. With your good days, bask in that joy...take extra joy in those days.

[@simpleliving4205]

@@elsiegonzalez5923 thanks Elsie. Love your name

[@AvivaAssaf]

There's a book called Hidden Time Wealth, and it talks about how using some secret techniques, you can overcome procrastination and accomplish anything in life. It's not just a bunch of empty promises; it's the real deal.

[@richajain5076]

Today, I got my results for one of the most important exams of my life... n I failed! but m fine now, because, you taught me, that no matter how many times I fail, I need to hold on tight and bounce back, and work harder. thank you.

[@nunciosidereo4070]

+Richa Jain (Y) better luck for next time.

[@alradi1041]

+Richa Jain best of luck!

[@nunciosidereo4070]

It will be just a little dark spot in the huge shinny sun of your long life. almost nobody will notice. (Y) (XDD lol i didnt remember making this comment above. hope this strange metaphore is useful xD lots of luck!)

[@tariqfadl6934]

glad to hear you're back on track!

[@haileysailor]

Did you take the exam again? If yes, how did it go?

[@TravisWorkman]

I really liked this talk. It reinforces what I have told my daughter when she comes home from school, play etc... complaining. The rule stands in our house for every 1 complaint you have to determine 3 positives. That is a 3/1 ratio obviously which has helped dramatically change the outlook and behavior on a day to day basis.

[@natta8275]

that's beautiful man

[@mrezarifki]

cool

[@seanmartin6773]

That's a great rule. I have to say most of the negative I have is work related. I will start using this.

[@amanpadamsey1705]

Amazing. Great parenting tip

Great tip!!! Thanks for sharing

[@JuliusFawcett]

All suffering is a message to us to love ourselves more, love each other more or love this moment more.

[@user5214]

This is such a cool way of thinking. I really enjoy this

[@moneyjustcomestome9]

No.

[@8ihctgbiug471]

Lmao no

[@septemberdreamer2651]

i love that & it works

[@tammi6180]

Yas

[@scottfisher5303]

I have been an alcoholic for 35 years of my life. Grew up in a poor dysfunctional household. A lot of negative things as happened throughout my life. And it is so hard to change that because she is right you hold onto the negative thoughts even if good things begin to happen. I am almost one year sober now and it has taken this long for positive thoughts to somewhat starting to over rife the negative that has succumbed me through out my life. And it has taken a lot of therapy to get me to where I am today. What I’m getting at is that when you have a negative life and your trying to change that it takes time and not to give up. Continue to work on getting rid of the negative thinking put good people in your life. Quit watching the news. Get off of social media. It will be worth it in they end. God loves you let him know you love him back.

[@michaelmcandrews8045]

God Bless you, the miracle truly happens so stay the course one day at a time keeping God at the center. Mike 15 years of Serenity

[@louiecarlos7331]

Stay cool! You’re doing great! Find what brings you peace, you deserve it! God knows you deserve it!

[@jacklurcher5813]

Well done on staying sober, and you're absolutely right about staying positive and avoiding social media. However not everyone believes in God, and brining religion into this can undermine your message.

[@TakeBackYourMind997]

Your focus = Your reality. Reframing positively and practising gratitude changes the default setting to a more positive one over time.

[@baconlatte]

I guess these days it is sacrilege to say this, but part of the tendency toward negativity has to do with the sum total of one's life experiences, and especially early childhood. Those who experience trauma or emotional neglect in early life tend to view the world as threatening and life to be without value. And those with little social support or who feel cultural alienation are more likely to have a negative view of life. We are not all having the same experience. I agree that optimism can be learned but some have a much tougher road than others.

[@cynthiahellmann9459]

+baconlatte, I totally agree!

[@MissLizaYangonMyanmar]

+baconlatte Precisely. My life in a nutshell. It gets tougher with time also for those like myself with no family due to the past. So I have to constantly fight against it every day. Some days harder than others

[@highermystery]

+baconlatte Yes, this is very true. Some of us who have been through trauma have to work harder than others but we must try to fight this all consuming negativity.

[@royfr8136]

+baconlatte Agreed.....

[@paulschluter7298]

+baconlatte your right

[@vanyastaleva415]

The overcoming the problem is called building self esteem - building confidence in your capabilities of dealing with difficulties. Negativity is fear.

[@rokayaothman7914]

"Imagine there'e been an outbreak of an unusual disease" 5:17 Mmm actually I'm watching this during covid-19 lockdown...

[@DM-mn8nr]

I thought the same as you as I heard her say "outbreak of an unusual disease."

[@rognema]

@@DM-mn8nr i literally rechecked the date of the video when she said that.

[@scottshe-z6856]

Yeah!😂just imagine

[@eunoiaeuphoria]

@@rognema 😂

[@the_nichelangelo]

This is so timely and relevant

[@maglan8]

I've always been struggling with negativity and lethargy all time , it's just because your mind has got stuck to it , it's a daily life and routine to be in this condition all time , it takes guts and high self esteem to switch from side to side

[@toseeornot2see]

I'm not a psychologist, but our minds are prone to confirmation bias, I feel, through my experience. I could be wrong, but I feel when we are in a negative space, we start reviewing negative experiences in our heads and reading negativity in everything. What is funny is, when we are in a good mood, even negative things appear to be inconsequential and we laugh them off.

[@hanaagovic-cc7wq]

Thank you for that. That's so true!

[@artyourself1065]

you are more psychologist then you think.

[@tygriffin5528]

I agree, confirmation bias and perhaps were just wired with a bias toward negative interpretation. If I'm an ancient human and I believe there is a big cat in the grass in front of me ( a negative interpretation) and I take precautions and live, I get to pass on my genes. Regardless of whether the cat was actually there.

[@captainzork6109]

​​@@tygriffin5528 But aren't risk takers highly rewarded as well, depending on whether the cat would or would not be there?

[@ZoeChan0508]

IT IS SO TRUE

[@isaiahdrye218]

Positivity is always key to living the best life you can

[@pjamesbda]

“The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge while an ordinary man takes everything either as a blessing or a curse” - Carlos Casteneda The reality is, they are both and neither. One just makes you stronger, while the other weakens you. That is our choice...as to what happens to us, not so much.

[@ptahre13]

I like that bro thanks for sharing it, I once asked a girl out telling her I want to be with her, so we could challenge each other to be great and grow rich she looked at me puzzled ,I then told her i want a girl like her she said we need to get you out the house then , I laughed because i knew what i was asking for in so few words , she just decided to see it as i just want a quicky but in the end i felt bad and didn't understand why not knowing the challenge was on already in my mind to tell her how i feel and she was fighting me before i picked up my sword and told me no without saying it I feel she knew what she was doing even though i know she liked me, so it's true people swing to the negative in life.But like you quoted we Need em both to be alive basically.

[@pjamesbda]

ptahre13 It took me over 30 years to get that. I know - why so long? Because, it isn't about winning or losing, and we live in a world built on that. And although I understand you wanted this woman to challenge you, and visa versa, yet at some point we realize the race we're running is in our heads. WE have to create the drive, without anyone else's help - - and in the end, winning and losing is just drama - - it's the strength you've built inside that drama that you're left with.

[@ptahre13]

pjamesbda Wow Thanks,You outdid the video in a few lines and i see why it took so long to grasp that because the world is built truly built off winning and losing I'm Honored Peace

[@pjamesbda]

ptahre13 It's so hard to accept sincerity...there's so little of it. Peace.

[@dmtang01]

pjamesbda this proves I`m warrior

[@littlemisssunshine2931]

What a great talk. I used to be extraordinarily positive; some of my friends once said to me that I could power the whole wold with positivity but during Covid-19, I temporarily lost all that and fell into a hole of depression (shielding for 19 weeks alone and not working, so totally isolate and with no money either) but I think you just showed me the way back out. Thank you for reminding me that there is nothing that is so bad it isn't good for something - all we have to do is figure out what that something is (I was brought up with that mantra). Thank you for sharing.

[@Desmondbrown73]

I was very social, very kind hearted, incredibly outgoing and used humour to deescalate.. after Covid, I’m angry filled with rage outbursts, my hands shake, I don’t know how to use humour or understand it when it’s used on me any more

[@CCXPExamSimulator]

I hope your journey back out of the darkness is going well. All the best to you.

[@danielflynn8530]

@@Desmondbrown73what about Covid made you angry? What about it made you in a negative mindset? It was a tough time for many people and some of us handle difficult situations differently but our differences make us who we are. We all don’t approach negativity the same. Our mindset isn’t easy to overcome but that’s ok we all have a different pace of how to overcome or attempt to do so.

[@bigtimetorifan]

I’m right there w/ you. I fell into that pit just before covid actually. A rough 2019. So covid did not help. Lost friends and family (devastating) due to differing views that created riffs too large to get over. Then i got resentful, stuck and isolating. Still kinda there which brought me to this video. Best of luck to all trying to heal their souls ❤️

[@grvd97]

Thanks a lot for this wonderful insight. 1. We have natural negative tilt 2. It takes more to get out of loss/negative than gain/positive 3. It takes work to see upside/ positive 4. Count your blessings

[@misshappy2976]

I’m dealing with negative thoughts every month especially when I’m on period. This affects me so much and is really hard to stay positive but I’m learning and improving it.

[@shibanijadhav1986]

Thank you, I really needed to hear this for myself. Having such a negative mindset all the time, your talk has inspired me to make positive changes to eventually but slowly overcome the negativity that is inside me.

[@LucasBatistussi]

Same here

[@PositiveBluebird]

Shibani Jadhav come check out my channel!! 🐦

[@zendium91]

interesting thought that came up when i was reading your comment: is our negativity always inside us? Or is it (maybe partially) coming from outside as if it were injected by others' negativity? Anyway, I am fascinated by this positivity and is currently really helping me in my writing where I try to unfold my complicated mental situation.

[@happyemoji6553]

zuurkool I like your suggestion about the negativity coming from outside to inside of us. We could either keep that outsider negativity or let it go to free ourselves from the negative thoughts.

[@quentinlaster7292]

I recently found out I have OCD, mental illness and a drug addition problem. I sought help and ended up at Lakeridge Village. They messed me up worse and instilled negative thinking in me so bad I started feeling ashamed of myself and adapted their training of negative thinking. Further the instilled into me FEAR, robbed me repeatedly and violated my recipient and constitutional rights repeatedly and then kicked me out into the streets homeless for complaining. Today I'm stuck in the negatives emotionally and in thinking. This video has reminded me that approaching life with a strong positive spirit leading the way I pray and believe I'll get back to "the glass is full" with enough room to learn positiveness again.

[@kirkh5820]

The army calls thinking like that "hunting the good stuff." It was a big help to me and my relationships. I took it to heart and like that sort of stuff and even wound up becoming a life coach.

[@rico-suave9078]

I realized this while meditating that seeing the positive in life was hard work and thinking negative was just effortless. I thought there was something wrong with me in a sense. Thank you for bringing clarity over this.

[@blairashby5652]

I love the idea of rewiring my mind for a positive viewpoint. This means I can create my life just by teaching myself to think about things differently. Thank you for doing these studies and talking about them.

[@davefischer2344]

i find that if you have a rhythm in your life, have enough energy, and write down your feelings, it will give you more positivity

[@ImSurayyyah]

thanks for that comment . I'm going to try and implement those things in my life

[@davefischer2344]

+Surayyah Fluellen you're welcome I find this is what has worked best for me

[@DChris3]

Writing down emotions is very important. You acknowledge them and deal with them much better, instead of suppressing or allowing them to influence you in ways you are not aware of! Thanks for that.

[@davefischer2344]

DChris3 you're welcome

[@SilkysMom]

Actually, the glass is always FULLl, half with liquid and half with air!

[@ThotProphet]

=D I never thought of it that way. I like it.

[@humanyoda]

Not if it's in vacuum.

[@SansP3ur]

humanyoda Vivian is still correct that insofar a vacuum would cause the liquid to become a gas, those gases would still occupy the area of the vacuum chamber. Since the glass is also within that chamber, it's still full. No matter though, even if all the gases were removed, the glass is still filled with photons, electromagnetic fields & gravimetric forces due to its mass and other quantum material that makes it visible and tangible.

[@humanyoda]

CyberGolem Water doesn't turn into gas in vacuum. It turns into globules that are pretty large. Moreover, when the question about fullness/emptiness is asked, the implied "filler" is the liquid. Being aware of a context is important in communication. When you go to a bar and order a drink, will you demand that the glass be filled with the drink or will you accept a glass that is filled with only photons and electromagnetic fields? Or... when getting ready for sex with a human, do you expect to be in contact with that person's genitals or just with photons and electromagnetic fields?

[@SansP3ur]

It's all just tongue-in-cheek hyperbole. BTW, liquids do turn to gas in a vacuum (unless rapidly frozen) so you're probably thinking of videos where you see liquid suspended midair in a fluidic state, which is a weightless/ micro-gravity environment ... not a vacuum. Look up "Vapor Pressure" or "The Clausius-Clapeyron Equation" on Google and you'll see that I'm working from science not just an opinion.

[@datalicious43]

Its a very insightful talk. But being a scientist myself in the social domain, I have found that practicing to think positively is the most challenging part. May be a good area for research would be to find ways to include techniques into school curriculum worldwide for the next generation.

[@weragoda98]

"Instead of focusing on the bad stuff that had happened, focus on the good stuff that had occurred." It is wonderful, we can change our life by changing the way we think. Our way of seeing the world is the point whether we are happy or not.

[@joycejeong-x4b]

Redirecting negative thought patterns, as suggested in the video, has been transformative in my journey to improve self-esteem. Adopting a more positive outlook has positively impacted my self-perception.

[@DrHussainQasem]

summary: by nature, people tend to think negatively, so you have to work delibratly harder if you quest positivity ànd satisfaction.

[@jasonhives5896]

no, not by nature - by society

[@wmpetroff2307]

... I concur 100%!

[@annwrog]

By both. Biologically by Nature and by society and culture.

[@TimKristmann]

@@jasonhives5896

[@TimKristmann]

@@annwrog

[@richardboe2130]

Staying negative is probably an effect of our evolution, a survival technique. As an event "tanks" we become more cautious and tank with it. Then even after the situation is stable we tend to have the attitude "let's wait and see if its really safe". If you reach your hand out to pet a dog and get bit, the next time you see a dog you are likely to be cautious about touching it (continuing negativity) but that may keep you safe. I see it as totally natural.

[@TomlinsTE]

+Richard Boe Nice observation. I believe it's actually known as "negativity bias"

[@michaelg7904]

No, that's not evolution, that's fear. How about the people who thrive in change and take advantage of other peoples' missed opportunities?

[@experimental2.372]

+Michael G fear can keep us safe. Sometimes our fears are rational. But most of the time they are irrational and prevent us from living a meaningful life. It's natural to be afraid of a bear running towards you. It's not rational or the slightest bit helpful to be afraid of public speaking for example. That's an irrational fear that a lot of us have for I don't know why

[@TomlinsTE]

+Experimental 2. Perhaps we have an instinctive understanding that standing out from the herd exposes us to the lions.

[@michaelg7904]

"Getting stuck in the Negatives" has to do with the irrational, emotion-based fears that cause people to become afraid to step out when our destinies demand it of us. Fear is an evil spirit. Once you agree with this spirit, it can control you by reminding you of the past and keeping its thumb on you so you will fail to be the person God made you to be.

[@littlelotte299]

Getting stuck in the negatives of rejection or failure is something I've battled with for quite some time. The 'switching' of mindsets and power of labeling is something that I try and be consious of and 'unstick' myself and see things from a different point of view. This talk certainly helped me with this!

[@juniorojha]

Staying stuck in the negative is also an evolutionary way to prevent us from taking steps that lead to such negative things in future. Just like the recession graph - since people have already experienced recession, they are now more cautious and therefore not so confident even though the situation seems to have improved - we tend to remember the things that went wrong in order to minimize the damage they can do in future. Because you do 100 right things, but one wrong thing can ruin those forever. That's why you gotta prevent yourself from taking that risk of doing something wrong thing, again. Of course, this doesn't apply to everything in our lives but only to most things that are important - and therefore the idea of one of those things going wrong affects us much more, especially if we've gone wrong once earlier. It destroys our confidence in taking certain steps/decisions afterwards.

[@cathymorrison5209]

Yes and be nice to yourself knowing “why” your brain is trying to protect you from bad… your not a bad person, your brain is wired to keep you alive, not happy

[@chockpea]

"I cannot live with myself anymore" - ( Eckhart Tolle ) Who is the "I"? That is the real you, the soul/spirit that never dies. Who is "Myself" ? that is your ego self.....who is responsible for negativity and fear? Who is responsible for happiness and love? that is your soul/spirit. A spiritual awakening happens through mental suffering,The depression is a gift, one that will teach you to look within and bring the soul to the forefront and push the ego to the side.

[@yssimon9058]

I'm pleased to watch this video. Very much :) Personally I've trained my mentality for about 2 years, and now I am not stuck in the negatives for long time any more. A happy person.

[@kristaylor3175]

I really like the idea of making a gratitude list every day

[@TomlinsTE]

Maybe we are wired to seek out and focus on the negative as a defensive survival mechanism, taking note of things that cause pain or discomfort, and we dwell on those things so that we might find ways to avoid similar problems in the future. Happy positive events are nice, but they may not teach us lessons critical in the short run for survival.

[@robertsolley4129]

This phenomenon is currently referred to as negativity bias, and the explanation is as you say: we can go weeks without a carrot, but if you miss the stick that kills you, you don't pass on your genes (Rick Hanson). See also Kahneman's Thinking Fast & Slow for an extensive treatment of the psychological impact of loss.

[@arhabersham]

Interesting

[@lunarikariko981]

This is what I was looking for. I wanted to know the why? This is my theory too.

[@shirleycolee1]

Spot on!

[@shirleycolee1]

You are correct. It's a useful survival mechanism and how we are wired.

[@nhathoang7206]

I am about to take an important exam and back then, things were out of control , i had to study far into the night , my head was full of negativities but after listening to your talk , i felt more confident , i got my energy back and right now i am fully-armed , ready for an upcoming battle with positive thoughts and may god be with me ❤️

[@briansmobile1]

Animal instinct teaches us to remember that one time we almost got eaten or crushed so we don't die the next time or the time after.

[@jessehamilton5783]

I've heard it said that in the daily struggle to survive the lion can afford to lose dozens of times. The gazelle can not even afford to lose once.

[@susannorquay6030]

@@jessehamilton5783 I pool

[@mandykal]

She is so true. When people vent to me about how bad their day is going I tell him/her to stop because you're going to block out everything good. Too much energy focusing on the negatives.

[@katekennelly3651]

really glad I saw this just now even if it's from awhile back. "the bad tends to propagate itself." so true. it's so much harder to be positive and to forgive than it is to complain and feel resentful. I've struggled a lot not to get stuck in the negative these past two years after a medical incident and ensuing depressive episode and panic disorder. The studies you've done are really interesting and there's something very reassuring about the fact that this is hard for all people. I really like the idea of writing for a couple minutes each day about the things you're grateful for and remembering that most days are actually decent days. Thank you again.

[@Kaleidalee]

The real question is, WHY do we have to work so hard to be positive? Why are we trying to fight our hard-wiring to be negative? I understand the beneficial impacts of being positive, but maybe if we have to fight so unnaturally against our negative tendencies, then we're not understanding correctly how our natural, negative brains can be used more effectively, instead of repressed. Perhaps her message represents a clash between our biological behaviors towards the negative and our Western social obsession with perfection and repression of any and all flaws. Always be positive all the time!!!!!!!!!!! Never feel bad!!!! Never have problems!!!!! Be perfect!!!!! SMILE!!!!!! OR, maybe we're not naturally that negative, as a species, but we've only become increasingly and ceaselessly negative due to a perfectionistic society that raises our expectations of ourselves and the world to impossible standards, making us miserable pessimists as a result. Many people in areas of the world who, to our standards have "nothing", are actually very peaceful and happy with their lives whenever their most basic needs are met. Their minds don't swing as negatively as ours because they haven't been psychologically brainwashed by perfection. I think that this is the answer to my question. The more anxious you are about things always being good and perfect, the more negative you are as a result.

[@Kaleidalee]

Slap Happy Actually, in my experience, being negative crushes your soul and makes you procrastinate, do nothing and waste away, fearing that people will judge whatever you create and you can never be free. Happiness MOTIVATES you to create with an amazing amount of productivity, because it helps you discover what you're naturally passionate about. People these days are too busy thinking they're actually getting anything of real value done, but their busy-ness and forced behavior is really just grinding wheels for the sake of other people, doing things that don't matter in the long run. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you're happy and inspired, but also longing to create something even better.

[@kensyskye8965]

A friend of mine always views everything as a positive, and whilst I can see that she has a point in a lot of cases, I also can see that there’s a complete and utter fear about facing the negative side of things....I think the best advice I was given on the subject once was ‘ Look at everything open ended’ as this way your coming from a more honest perspective....

[@IA-oh8mm]

I think you should be expressing your ideas in TEDx talk. You have a very good point.

[@trihard2045]

dont forget THIS IS REAL LIFE

[@HDloly]

This is not biology, this is more a cultural way of evaluating reality. ; ]

[@leeesuho6162]

She is not only giving us advise like mostly others do but also giving us solution as well, that's pretty much appreciating and helpful, also very easy to apply in our daily routine.

[@WarriorsMotivation111]

As someone who faces depression and anxiety, this was incredibly supportive. I'm so grateful for you sharing your insights with us! It made a profound impact on me.

[@ogagu29]

OMG. I used to looved her classes. They were so interesting, and I loved her AHA moment assignments. It made Social Psychology practical in our daily lives.

[@samanthajanelle2010]

She was a great professor and I also enjoyed her class

[@catherineoliver1951]

I think a key component to being able to reframe the day into the positive, is first obtaining a sense of validation that there were negative experiences in the day. It sounds as if the speakers spouse is able to offer that validation and then follow up with an opportunity to look at the positives. Many people never get the validation they need and therefore are unable to move onto the gratitude stage. Just a little tip to help with accomplishing the perspective shift that so many people seek to fulfill.

[@ryebread447]

Very true. Those things wont go away if you bury them. Simply acknowledge them and move on to positives. Don't get stuck in them

[@monicaperez2843]

Catharine, when I have a bad day, I ask myself, "did I contributed to it in any way?" and I also ask myself, "what can I learn from it?"

[@AlexnaderSupertramp]

It does work it takes time and it takes consistency. Coming from someone who was extremely negative and pessimistic. Who managed in 30 days to go to rehab a divorce homeless. And somewhere in the middle of all that of all that pain and misery and uncertainty something changed inside my brain. I have watched hundreds of TED talks on Neuroscience how our brains work sadguru videos. And I thought to myself give it a shot you've lost everything at this point what's it going to hurt. Every morning I wake up I would think of the things that I was thankful for there were few but I would think about them and feel them. At work when co-workers would complain instead of joining in I would point out the good stuff. Andover just a two-week. I was smiling more. I still have to work at it but not as hard and it seems to get easier everyday.

[@Idisagreethisisnotanon]

Thank you!!!

[@Juanah92]

Thank you so much for sharing this, it is inspiring me

[@itsmereem6748]

Thats good

[@gunagyah777]

from someone who didn't achieve something they were working for and has been sulking now, this was very insightful and comforting to here. will try this.

[@nomadd27828]

For someone who had repeated failures in loop and in daily life and being surmounted by problems, this video is an eye opener.

[@harmoniphiliac]

Good to know! Before this talk I've always thought that my tendency to much more easily feel negative than positive makes me uniquely bad and negative person, worse than normal positive people around me

[@D.Lee.W]

I too am trying to focus on positive rather negative. It is easy to complain while forgetting about the good things. We must refocus our attention. I am just starting this journey and found many good videos on KZbin, such as this one. And so now, I take this moment and think how grateful I am that others are willing to help lead us on the path to being more positive.

[@ArunPaiadp]

Thanks for this. I have suffered a mental breakdown over few work related issues which resulted in me looking for help. This brings in confidence in me and aspires me to do better. Thank you alison. I literally had tears at the end of this video

[@ErinMunizG]

Writing for things we are grateful for, sharing good news, ask yourself or someone: ¿what happened today that was good?, in society: be positive, if someone snaps at you attacking be aware and just forgive them, if you get a grumpy waitress leave an extra large tip (to make their day). Summary: Practice focusing on the positive, it takes time but it’s 100% possible ❤

[@shwethajagannath9396]

I smiled when you mentioned about those petty good things like, hello from a student.... I am sure something as such happens in our lives everyday that we do not recall & applaud... Thank you for the insight!

[@michelecj1]

This is an uplifting talk- thank you! I feel the news media has trained us to think negatively since the majority of the news is bad and it dwells on bad events in the past.

[@Fragor100]

On the spot it seems to make sense that negatives stick, because what's negative is what we can't ignore, it's the hurtful truth and we tend to give more credit to it than our capacity to judge with clarity, with reason from experience of what it felt like to be wrong before. I completely am for the gratitude trick that reminds us what we live for, its simply genius, simple genius

[@redInkFish]

This is a great little 10 minute TED talk. I've often been asked how I'm such a positive person, and I guess I've always curtailed focusing on the negative and encouraged those around me to do the same. Alison explains it far better than I do though :-)

[@amansoni158]

This was really helpful. A person said something mean and that sticked with me for 3 days and i wasn’t able to concentrate on my studying after listening to this thought I immediately started thinking about about the good things that are happening and it really helped.

[@brettmartin400]

I’ve been watching these Ted talks for a while now and trying to hope my mindset magically improves itself but it never does. I’ve decided it’s finally time to take some action and stop willingly allowing myself to be this way. Thank you for inspiring me

[@redgatecrt]

I tend to think negatively a lot. I've had my fair share of downs like everyone else. I seem to be in a rut more often than I ever was. Thanks for your insight Alison and thank you for reminding me that I still have a lot of good things that happen in my life.

[@evelynmayback8623]

How are you now?

[@itsmereem6748]

@@evelynmayback8623 How are you?

[@noahowens6133]

When you become completely aware of life, letting all of life in you are transformed into a totally conscious being that is at the center of everything, and just as the axle of a wheel does not turn, you do not move. You are always in the center of the balance or life and from that perspective the world is always perfect. The truth is you are already there you just do not know it. You just have to know it to do it. The ultimate truth of life has been revealed, Google *_Truth Contest_* and check the truth for yourself. You cannot control life but you can control the way you see life, it is just a matter of changing perspectives.

[@bandthebeast2230]

Can't get this out of my head!

[@tsetnochturt3148]

Wow man, Wow

[@shelovesyou9081]

Chank you sho much, the webchite ish great!

[@magetaaaaaa]

You cannot have your cake and eat it too.

[@treeoflife3797]

"It is impossible to be conscious of being unconscious. The truth is in that sentence alone " ;)

[@tomphillips5513]

I was already aware that this is the case, but I really needed to hear it today and spoken so eloquently

[@sahardavari1504]

Thanks, dear. Today because I am in pressure , I become aggressive soon, hen I see misbehavior of people around me , but I should see half full of water glass. I am training myself by writing down gratitude.

[@MrPatrickRevuelta]

Best mindset advice I've heard. Like being told 'toughen up' - but in a kind way that actually helps.

[@shriswamiramanand]

So true... so brilliant... Daily rituals of gratitude is so important. One of the thing people realize about their spouses, parents, loved ones when they die, is how much they miss "all the good stuff" they did. Although when they are alive, we tend to constantly remind ourselves in our mind, and as well as verbally to other person, "How you dislike what they do?, How they do? how they talk? " .... We do the same about our jobs, till we find a job/boss/new relationship just as bad or worse than previous one!!! Happiness is learned behavior, by learning to see positive and have gratitude in life... One of the ways to do that is, "serve to those are even less fortunate than we are" --> example: "If you lost a job, and if you volunteer at homeless shelter, then you feel so much gratitude for just having roof over top your head." .... "Selfless service is highest virtue of humanity!" --> Something an atheist and religious person can both agree on.

[@hanselmansell7555]

'Work to see the upside' I love this, thanks 🥰

[@omerchaudhry4298]

Simply Superb - I practiced by focusing on positive events and the results had been very pleasant. Excellent piece of info.

[@itssooya5251]

The way she actually explained really open up the mind to actually think,, what a small thing in a day made you happy it might be small reason but at least you where happy that 's the worthy actually.. thank you so much Alison Lendgerwood

[@raghadhesham8198]

The way she explained the idea is just outstanding. That's really awesome.

[@Wong-Jack-Man]

The reason why we we ruminate in our thoughts is fundamentally because our ego is challenged. When projects go well we are excited (pat yourself) and when when projects go dismal or we get critiqued we feel challenged. We can’t just turn the switch off. The way we control these fluctuations in emotion states is to not allow your emotions rise in life events whether good or bad. The precursor and not after the fact In Buddhism it’s called the middle way. You do not have to be a Buddhist to subscribe to this. It’s just practice and in the western world it’s EQ. Once you practice not attaching too much to your successes and failures, you relieve yourself of these peaks and valleys of emotional state which will bring stability and calmness.

[@galaxylucia1898]

I was just thinking that this reminds me of equanimity. Buddhist beginner practitioner here and yes, the ability to detach from outcomes would greatly increase my mental state to love through life without such emotional volatility.

[@ikaika7878]

our mind is wired that way because we've evolved to be able to remember the bad stuff. When we didn't live in comfortable homes and cities remembering the bad stuff is what kept us from eating the wrong things or getting eaten by something.

[@andrewcarney6502]

TheBigPalooka also exactly the same for the good stuff tho like water sources good food sources etc...

[@khubaibraza8446]

Click here for Тhe Мanifestаtion Breееeаkthrough KKit => twitter.com/3a000d80820f32e35/status/804630629388152832 Getting stuck in thе negatives and how to get unstuck Alison Ledgerwood ТTЕEEDxUCDavis

[@bigyellowduck2872]

Number 1 seeсcret tо mаnifest your dream life => twitter.com/89afc252c2eba917f/status/822777137924931585 Getting stucck in theeee negatives and how to get unstuck Alison Ledgerwood TEDxUCDavis

[@jcfullmore4504]

I have problem always seeing the positive and literally get mocked for it, until I'm needed to help others perceive different. Not sure why I'm so fortunate to have this mindset because I've had many many bad things happen.

[@RMT192]

If you were so positive you wouldn't call it a problem.

[@random_corner5376]

I've always had a feeling that it was harder to have a positive mindset and to look at the glass half full than to have a negative mindset and to look at the glass half empty because it felt so natural. This confirms my suspicion and I know I'm not crazy now because the positive is that I know I'm not the only one who thinks like this. It will take a lot more work from going negative to positive than from positive to negative, but you know in order to find a balance between the two is not only hard work but worth it and to keep yourself levelheaded, grounded, and balanced

[@FrootbatBat]

This works. I used to journal and most of what I wrote was complaining about my day. I started making a scribble mark, then focus on the positive things of the day. If it was a bad day, then I'd write about a good memory or something hopeful for the future. This made a profound impact on my depression. It didn't cure it, but I don't deal with despair like I used to.

[@zzzcocopepe]

Actually this really helped me because one of my pet peeves is negativity. I can never stand people who have a bad attitude or who are negative. But the fact that we get stuck in negative, that kind of makes me less anxious for them to hurry up and get with the program. Because it means that they just need to get their in their own time. I can't rush it. They need whatever leverage it is that they need to switch back to positive. So, thanks I guess.

[@sweetazn208]

I like that "what happen today that was good?" Gonna ask myself that everyday especially on bad days.

[@JamesBailey13]

This is so true, I do this in my life. And find my self saying the "Serenity Preyer"

[@serenachen1969]

I write down three good things happen to me every day, I call them 'little happiness' in my life. and I have to admit that writing those things could really help me to feel better even when I had a tough day.

[@ThosiaRoakes]

The way Hidden Time Wealth dives into the concept of productivity is mind-blowing. Hidden Time Wealth tips are pure gold, and I wish more people knew about them.

[@AminAziz95]

I like this talk. The way we think really affect our reality & perception.

[@xleg3286]

This may explain why victims of bullying suffer long lasting effects.

[@sarvgrover]

Internal strength gives us positive thoughts and ignore the negativity.Thanks Alison Ledgerwood

[@ashishzade6462]

You gave lots of example that clarify how negative word impact us. And how should we use positive instead of negative Thanks a lot for this information.

[@victortheinspiration]

"Grow through what you go through." 👏

[@KimTownsel]

Thank you, Alison! Excellent message and well delivered. I have this in a private playlist to listen to again.

[@xxlilyxxd33]

i took more from this 10 minutes of her talk than 1hr of another video that spoke about this same subject nice talk!

[@itsapple6024]

bad experience tends to stick on our mind, focus intentionally on good stuffs!!! Thank for the sharing.

[@HUNGRYHEART48]

Human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. *But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we STAY ALIVE for* - Robbin Williams

[@ardashigouithana1273]

mind is nothing else then a trained machine, trained it we'll. school's, society, family, believes usually molds it. so choose wisely.

[@kevinmtorres]

BE the “what happened good in their day” for someone.

[@VonsarYT]

Absolutely agree with this one! It may not always carry wait in your life but at least I does to most you do this for!

[@searchingsyndrome7039]

I have this problem of imagining what could possibly go wrong tomorrow. I realised just now that I can't imagine what could possibly go right tomorrow, if I can't imagine right tomorrow I don't have to imagine worng tomorrow.

[@bewitchedk]

I sometimes worry and think negatively too much, which affects my mental health.

[@searchingsyndrome7039]

@@bewitchedk the best part is whatever we imagine is nothing more than interpretation which 99% didn't occur in real life.

[@searchingsyndrome7039]

@@bewitchedk I was worried form past 2 weeks just because schools were going to open(anti-school person I am), I skipped school for 1 and a half week.. and was thinking that what will happen if I go school now !! Only negative thoughts were there. I woke up next day with "I don't wanna go but I have to do it" mood. whatever I thought didn't happened, no one literally cared, and I came home. This all happened yesterday : )

[@RarisaEguchi]

Hidden Time Wealth is so unique. I can’t believe I hadn’t heard about it sooner. It’s amazing how life-changing this can be for anyone battling procrastination.

[@AKMcCoyInc]

I think we are socially conditioned to see the negative evening news and media in general helps with that.

[@amdphreak]

We focus on the negative so that we can problem-solve in the backs of our minds. We are looking for answers to problems, not just arbitrarily choosing to view things negatively.

[@cloudygirl66]

Some people really don't have anything positive to think about most days.

[@azplease4121]

I appreciate your research in providing that the negatives weigh in so heavily and rids so slowly. Agreed, we need to surface the positive, no matter how small it may seem.

[@senthilbabu789]

Such a clear speech I have ever heard recently , without my concern, my hands were clapping at the end. Kudos Ma'am.

[@tomtrue1945]

If we are to evolve as a species, we need to stop hiding narcissism and insecurity behind sarcasm and the anonymity of the internet. This woman was presenting a positive, informed message, not modeling bikinis or selling free-weights. It's easy for weak people to feel superior by making superficial, ill-mannered comments when they believe there won't be negative consequences to themselves. Perfect Tommy

[@meowster2103]

says the guy hiding behind the internet with his message. I think that kind of discussion about who is weak for voicing their opinion is better suited in person *wink*, instead of in a position where it comes off as highly hypocritical. *jokes* in all seriousness tho, in general I agree with you.

[@kiermellour6832]

I also think it's hard because when you are positive people hate you for "bragging" which makes one feel like crap for being positive... it needs to be communal and supportive