Have you built up people before and then felt like it's not appreciated and you cannot help yourself but door slam and "break" everything you've built?
@heba11482 жыл бұрын
Are we cursed with the fact that we see more in people than the anyone else can?? Is it because we seek perfection we want to fix others even if it is going to hurt us at the end??
@simovtransportmedia11372 жыл бұрын
I know what this will be from the first half minute. TIt's not a side of me that makes me proud of. We are best in erasing our personal boundaries in the name of someone else, but then comes the point where our interests begin to split, then the reality break and we all know the feeling of being pointed out as a bad person, obsessive type and things like that. The advice is simple - draw your red lines, let other people know what you really are and what you really want, like you want from them. Because you can read other people with your Ni doesn't mean that they can read you. Don't wait from the other person that you are with, to defend your boundaries. Your boundaries are what you are and there's no way for other people to be you.
@DearYoungerSelf1112 жыл бұрын
Yes I have more times than I want to admit to myself - Even now with your videos bringing this conscious the naysayer in my mind always says "Nobody will like you" or "You won't make friends with just being who you are" and those are like my biggest fears - I do see that I am growing more brave to stand up and say - you right maybe no one will and that may suck yet honoring who I am is starting to matter more and more - This is one of these default states that makes me quiver - but powerful to know that it is better when we face the lion in the mirror (still not easy 😶🌫️) - a brave one to discuss no doubt
@ambrosearts2 жыл бұрын
You certainly were born for this work and we appreciate your thorough and clear insights that so many of us completely relate to....your powerful insights are VERY helpful. As INFJs we all live and breathe these realities already but could not all stand to break it all down and re-address these facts as you manage....then also we do not always realize we are doing all of these things and when we are aware we need reminding how much we do them and how much they matter in the end. We love you girl....never stop your counseling because not many can do it like you. And there I am automatically feeding your ego I suppose but it is accurate to say and I am darn well gonna say it even in light of your discourse here. Love you mucho. I will always be watching your videos as lang as I draw breath and have the internet. And if I ever lose the internet I already saved many offline in my personal archives to review...so as long a sI have electricity I can listen to you. After all as an INFJ I plan things well and plan ahead. Not gonna be without me Wenzes and making sure of that.
@ramyanagashree2 жыл бұрын
@@ambrosearts I second that! Wenzes is a gem.
@Betscu.2 жыл бұрын
I found my new best friend: myself. No more ego building of others.
@matilda44062 жыл бұрын
If you feel that you don't need the other, you are happy to "build" them up and let them continue "happier" with their own lives, that's authentic.
@ThreadBareHope12342 жыл бұрын
INFJs have no idea how much power they have over people by just not having a reaction. In a situation where they are needed for validation they can easily just say "Oh it is what it is" or "don't know, don't care" and destroy them with apathy. By having neither a positive or negative reaction you have power. Or let's say you're an INFJ who is doing someone else's chores. The moment you leave, and NOT come back - giving in to the shame of leaving them- they will realize taking you for granted was a huge mistake.
@heba11482 жыл бұрын
I used to do this, and people used to look at me like a crazy person, beside that, every single time I did that I ended up being used badly.. So I stopped because it hurts to give and give and give and never receive..
@lilorphani2 жыл бұрын
I’m here rn. Moving through this behavior. Growing pains. 🤪
@aquariusstar72482 жыл бұрын
Yes!! And turning the ship around has been tough but you eventually gain momentum. And then you think, "Wtf hv I been doing all of my life!"😭😨 and then you get over it and keep going!😆😆
@heba11482 жыл бұрын
@@aquariusstar7248 it was very hard, but time and pain teach a lot..
@heba11482 жыл бұрын
@@lilorphani you gotta stop at some point..
@pourroyj2 жыл бұрын
It's difficult to let friends go. I ask myself why I spend so much, time, money, and energy on friends, that wont spend time on themselves, thousands. Locked in their negative beliefs about themselves and usually addiction. I can see the warm, vital light that burns in them. It's too easy. I like helping people and not telling anyone. It's like finding a sick bird and nurturing it back to health, and releasing it when it can fly and live independently. I'm in my usual introverted spot, no lover because I think I read folks so well, that I avoid issues. I can find lots of stuff that defines an INFJ or sigma male, then I say, so what? Doesn't help me cope or find like minded companion. And it's not helping me to stop pushing narcissist buttons, and hurting there feelings.... I was never a bully as a kid, but it is fun sometimes. Feel free to reply. Nothing real happens in isolation and overthinking.
@HaleyMary2 жыл бұрын
I started to be more authentic this year than any other time in my life, but I have noticed that some people have pulled away this year. In some ways though, I feel happier surrounding myself with a small group of friends who accept me for who I am rather than a large group of people who only felt like they knew me.
@ramyanagashree2 жыл бұрын
Wenzes!! I have been following you from couple of years. I like all your videos. But this! OMG! But this video is on another level. This is so relatable. I'm guilty of inflating others ego most of the time and then they try to sit on my head. Then I'm like, "I can't take this anymore" and show them their place. That's it. That's the end of most of the relationships. It can be my classmate, my colleague or cousin or a relative. When I try to dim my own light to give them a chance to shine, they think I'm weak but actually I'm not. When they see me in my full strength they get intimidated like anything. They will be scared or shocked. This video is definitely my favorite and i would come back to this again and again to remind myself.
@ambrosearts2 жыл бұрын
Said that very well....yeppp.
@moorliving27032 жыл бұрын
My god! You just commented my life.
@jessmason2112 Жыл бұрын
Take it a step further. People with dark shadows and issues who refuse to face what's been causing conflict in their life build false egos which they hold onto dearly. Like the narcissist for example. Manipulation to justify their false persona.
@mr.goodwrench82732 жыл бұрын
Have I built up people before and then felt like it's not appreciated, and I cannot help myself but door slam and "break" everything I've built? Yes. I had found that once I had made an effort to be inspirational to someone and did not bear any fruit from that, I had no other choice than to completely delineate from them and move on instead of hanging around & exhausting myself. As a result of moving on, I had gotten back to that pursuit of the "epic life".
@fowchiiiliedpuppiesdied2 жыл бұрын
Just did this the other day. Didn’t want to, but I think it was necessary. It was an INTJ, of all people. Surprising.
@aquariusstar72482 жыл бұрын
How many egos just got broken listening to Wenzes in this video?🤣🤣 I realized this last year and the pattern is broken. I have had the temptation to backslide, but I'm holding my ground!💪🏾💪🏾This is a great reminder...been listening to Wenzes for 3 yrs now and it has been a huge gamechanger!
@jayrtee2 жыл бұрын
Wow, just wow. Another great video, thank you. I realized through the latter stages of my husband's alcohol addiction that this is what I was doing - building up my ego by being everything that he needed. Through time, I started to find that in order to get him what he needed, I needed to stop helping so much. Let him find the answer on his own and start focusing on what I needed. I'm still going through the process of learning to put myself first, thereby breaking down my ego.
@MylezNevison2 жыл бұрын
Knowing and understanding others is #wisdom. Knowing and understanding the self is #enlightenment.
@mypov43432 жыл бұрын
Just be your authentic self and let the chips fall where they may. No sweat at all!
@AkilahOsa2 жыл бұрын
Been there, done that, trying not to go back to that. 😅
@chocovanille58092 жыл бұрын
Breaking the egos of the surgeons and anesthesiologist i work with everyday. I am just an assistant. But don’t care less. I see us all equals.
@kimkeck62662 жыл бұрын
Oh my goodness...they have the biggest ego ever!! You go!!🙌💪😉🤭
@chocovanille58092 жыл бұрын
@@kimkeck6266 trust me. Everyday is a war in the OR
@pourroyj2 жыл бұрын
Now that's got to be fun. How dare you, did she just insult me? Is that true? In their head all day. Or, until you say a little prayer for them...
@pnwperson Жыл бұрын
don't get me started on the people in the medical industry lol🤣🤣 edit: they are all not built for the profession and aren't the nicest when they're not
@Elven.2 жыл бұрын
Society, trends and cults work like this too: you put up with my BS, I put up with your BS and we tell each other we belong
@grassfedmilkmomma2 жыл бұрын
People say I'm scary when I do that. I'm careful now who I choose to associate with because that's a big deal. I have to feel comfortable telling that person when their wrong and I'm not gonna be a crutch
@lovelight54072 жыл бұрын
I mirrored a guy yesterday, why do they hate us so much ,he actually attacked me and I threw him on the ground ,,ALWAYS SHORT LEGGED STUMPY LITTLE EGO MONSTERS🤮, 🤣🤣🤣
@TroyPosey2 жыл бұрын
Excellent video Wenzes! 🙂👍🏼🌹 Absolutely... I think every INFJ has done this subconsciously many times throughout their life. I still do it sometimes, and have to catch myself, and take things down a few notches.
@espressocoffeeshine43462 жыл бұрын
Having never had a support team, I neither build up peoples ego or their authentic self. For some reason doing so does not feel authentic to me! I do think others have been my enabler. One of the great ironies of life is people will give you a hamburger, but don't bother to ask someone how to make a hamburger, or worse yet, to help you make a hamburger. People will not help you move forward, they think help that is keeping you stuck is charity!
@sahargal22042 жыл бұрын
OMG you’re so smart Wensez. You just solved the mystery of my life.
@serban21392 жыл бұрын
Yeah..I'm proud of this...but also I'm not too proud of this haha
@lindateuling78622 жыл бұрын
That is an amazing insight about our building people's egos rather than their authentic selves - and we can then *break" as well as "make" them. When you mentioned it at the beginning, I thought to myself, "I'll bet this will be good!" My hunch was right - this is a fascinating way of looking at it. Ego and authentic self - two distinctly different items. My reaction was (of course they're different and (2) Why didn't I realize earlier on? I began to get more authentic when I changed some conversational habits and allowed myself to use them with people I was trying to help - which helped them to make things conscious, too. Later on I used some of the same habits on myself to become more aware of my own authentic self - and there were times when it was indeed hard on my ego - but it made for good self examination! :)
@michellem7752 жыл бұрын
This makes perfect sense why I fell for a narcissist.
@YouilAushana2 жыл бұрын
That is so true, I can see what truly makes someone happy and love that about them and try to support that. Giving them a glimpse into the fantasy world I live in were anything is possible. Trying to protect their gifts. Which is not socially acceptable and most people can't handle the introverted world and is not sustainable for the average person. This ends up hurting them most because the differences end up popping up. They end up in a tug-of-war between the real world and the world of safety and growth I have provided for them which causes both parties to get hurt and breaking the person's ego. Sometimes I feel so guilty, hurt and you ended the video perfectly. Im sure all INFJ's feel the same way
@gregoryyoung46042 жыл бұрын
I just discovered your channel, and have been binging on your videos. I haven't taken the personality test yet, but I sense strongly that I am infj, as well as my daughter. I keep thinking "oh, that is so me!". Your clear and concise presentation is first class! Muchos gracias...
@m2pozad2 жыл бұрын
Take a test and let us know the results.
@gregoryyoung46042 жыл бұрын
@@m2pozad I'm on it...
@editorjeannie23182 жыл бұрын
Yes let us know?
@FanderR2 жыл бұрын
I'm an INFJ-A and before 2 days ago I never imagined there was my "personality type". I just knew I took the most unprobable ( path / decisions ) since I was 6. INFJ's are so useful. We may need to relate to each other.
@gregoryyoung46042 жыл бұрын
OK! I tested off-the-chart infj. How wonderful to know that I'm not the only one who is this way. I will begin my journey of discovery and healing with the help of this channel and any other that is recommended...
@sarahsmith97662 жыл бұрын
Powerful ending here! Not caring if your abandoned. Idk if you’ve covered this, but what about cutting people out when they become distant?
@thewwmm252 жыл бұрын
more focus on one self and meeting your own needs. Got it.
@jasperstone74132 жыл бұрын
If there is something to be learned from the experience, carry the lesson with you and live so that moments are created and unity is offered. Live with no regrets or fear, no expectations. But with all anticipation of acceptance and the humility of survival. ----- Poetic Play 2022 -----
@m3tatr0n2 жыл бұрын
Exactly what I needed to hear today!
@joceyrocks8840 Жыл бұрын
She is goals
@abrahamgute79612 жыл бұрын
WOW Very deep and introspective...!!! Thanks wenzes...😇😇😊😊
@BrendaHouston_2 жыл бұрын
I started this video and had to stop because it’s really late and you’re breaking down my ego Wenzes and I need to be rested for this ok?
@ryanunderwood5465 Жыл бұрын
You are genuinely authentic from birth🥰
@ryanunderwood5465 Жыл бұрын
Flies start swarming (haters/devil)
@ryanunderwood5465 Жыл бұрын
You have the master fly swatter I promise 🤫
@macoeur11222 жыл бұрын
So right. So insightful.
@sagebay28032 жыл бұрын
This video helped me so much. Thank you!
@dsingh9662 жыл бұрын
Could you do a video, where what are the consequences when and Infj puts themselves first? Like I noticed, since I started putting myself first, people around me(acquaintances) not my close circle, got all like, she is so selfish etc etc, when there was not 1 instance where I refused to help anyone. The rumor spreading, the collective hate. It’s all behind me now, but it gave me a lot of resistance when I was trying to stick to my new moral principles.
@MegaCyberleader2 жыл бұрын
you know i luv you right :) you helped me so much i hardly need you anymore. But I wont just leave. I love these videos.
@petermarintv2 жыл бұрын
Just found this channel and wow. Really helping me understand myself even more. Subscribed!
@lilorphani2 жыл бұрын
I need to watch all of these. Thank you so much! You are so awesome 👏💖🙏💫
@SamsonPavlov2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for sharing this conscious video message dear! Blessed be! ❤️
@ryanunderwood5465 Жыл бұрын
You go girl😘
@lindagithaiga19742 жыл бұрын
I'm on break mode right now ☺️
@drewamasterpiece52682 жыл бұрын
My x made me aware of this!
@lifelessonswithjo2 жыл бұрын
OMG I used to be like that then recently I ended going off. Now, I am done!!!
@hilaklein40872 жыл бұрын
Yes my thoughts are hard to control any suggestion ??
@asahlogi2 жыл бұрын
The thing is we are very sensitive. We want everything special. We want something genuine. But our idealistic view doesn't allow us to beg for something. For many people that would be extremely exhausting. Sorry for my bad English.
@tlong24852 жыл бұрын
I love this channel so much ❤️ it's so validating
@fazzaustralia89322 жыл бұрын
I know this all too well!
@kevinyarusso3262 жыл бұрын
Solid video. Thanks Wenzes!
@gamblinggoons63232 жыл бұрын
always real gems from wenzes💎🎯
@robin-vt1qj2 жыл бұрын
Love it
@awakentheeagle2 жыл бұрын
I enjoy your videos by the way ❤️🦅❤️
@charlesbutler43632 жыл бұрын
@Wenzes 🤓😁 A king or queen is a "servant" of the people, therefore they can't afford the "luxury" of being selfish but to a certain degree. Is it possible that selfish deed even is done with an unselfish purpose & not out of fear??? Oh yeah...Just because I holler doesn't mean I was hit😏😁 #strongsupportstheweak Be BLESSED and Stay STRAPPED(with faith)🤠🤓😇👑
@livesremembered86982 жыл бұрын
I am recovering from a narcissistic relationship and to me this sounds like victim-blaming.
@thenickening2 жыл бұрын
hitler was an INFJ too.... generalizing 'all INFJs' is also an ego build for some listeners. there are other ingredients to the human personality pie
@thenickening2 жыл бұрын
@@Human_01 LISTEN! just because youre triggered about something doesnt mean someone else has to be silenced. truth burns before it heals. we are all capable of evil or good. if one is unable to admit the good AND evil within... be sure - only evil can come from them.
@joshy03692 жыл бұрын
Yes 🤔
@ryanunderwood5465 Жыл бұрын
Hearts or Minds 🙃
@ryanunderwood5465 Жыл бұрын
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️🥇
@andresalvarez17322 жыл бұрын
🔥❤️🔥
@m2pozad2 жыл бұрын
I see some posing and flexing in the comments. 🚫
@jessmason2112 Жыл бұрын
🎯 ❤
@objectiveintuition771332 жыл бұрын
💯
@luisrodrigiuez6392 жыл бұрын
I’m not helping anyone ever again i guess I’m doing wrong
@ryanunderwood5465 Жыл бұрын
What is this.. EGO 🤯 yikes 😬
@ryanunderwood5465 Жыл бұрын
Spotted a mile away 😋
@musabalakolo87612 жыл бұрын
Reason why Masculine men like INFJ female. #My mum and Dad in my thoughts now. I recon i pick up the INFJ personality from my Mum.
@DearYoungerSelf1112 жыл бұрын
Curious - will you expand on why masculine men like INFJ female"?
@musabalakolo87612 жыл бұрын
@@DearYoungerSelf111 Men especially masculine men generally have egos, at least in this part of the world #Africa. When a man have a submissive woman that massages his ego, it boost his confidence, it make him want to face the world knowing someone got his back. INFJ are good at building people's ego.
@miloszgondek2 жыл бұрын
are you against marriage
@Wenzes2 жыл бұрын
I am married :)
@miloszgondek2 жыл бұрын
@@Wenzes I know. Sorry, It was a stupid question. I just thought it fit so well on the problematic og today's topic. Like being against alkoholisme, but drinking anyway.
@luisrodrigiuez6392 жыл бұрын
What are you talking about
@ambrosearts2 жыл бұрын
If you do not know what she is talking about ...you are not an INFJ.