HOW THE INFJ MAKES OR BREAKS EGOS WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT

[@Wenzes]

Have you built up people before and then felt like it's not appreciated and you cannot help yourself but door slam and "break" everything you've built?

[@heba1148]

Are we cursed with the fact that we see more in people than the anyone else can?? Is it because we seek perfection we want to fix others even if it is going to hurt us at the end??

[@simovtransportmedia1137]

I know what this will be from the first half minute. TIt's not a side of me that makes me proud of. We are best in erasing our personal boundaries in the name of someone else, but then comes the point where our interests begin to split, then the reality break and we all know the feeling of being pointed out as a bad person, obsessive type and things like that. The advice is simple - draw your red lines, let other people know what you really are and what you really want, like you want from them. Because you can read other people with your Ni doesn't mean that they can read you. Don't wait from the other person that you are with, to defend your boundaries. Your boundaries are what you are and there's no way for other people to be you.

[@DearYoungerSelf111]

Yes I have more times than I want to admit to myself - Even now with your videos bringing this conscious the naysayer in my mind always says "Nobody will like you" or "You won't make friends with just being who you are" and those are like my biggest fears - I do see that I am growing more brave to stand up and say - you right maybe no one will and that may suck yet honoring who I am is starting to matter more and more - This is one of these default states that makes me quiver - but powerful to know that it is better when we face the lion in the mirror (still not easy 😶‍🌫️) - a brave one to discuss no doubt

[@ambrosearts]

You certainly were born for this work and we appreciate your thorough and clear insights that so many of us completely relate to....your powerful insights are VERY helpful. As INFJs we all live and breathe these realities already but could not all stand to break it all down and re-address these facts as you manage....then also we do not always realize we are doing all of these things and when we are aware we need reminding how much we do them and how much they matter in the end. We love you girl....never stop your counseling because not many can do it like you. And there I am automatically feeding your ego I suppose but it is accurate to say and I am darn well gonna say it even in light of your discourse here. Love you mucho. I will always be watching your videos as lang as I draw breath and have the internet. And if I ever lose the internet I already saved many offline in my personal archives to review...so as long a sI have electricity I can listen to you. After all as an INFJ I plan things well and plan ahead. Not gonna be without me Wenzes and making sure of that.

[@ramyanagashree]

@@ambrosearts I second that! Wenzes is a gem.

[@Betscu.]

I found my new best friend: myself. No more ego building of others.

[@matilda4406]

If you feel that you don't need the other, you are happy to "build" them up and let them continue "happier" with their own lives, that's authentic.

[@ThreadBareHope1234]

INFJs have no idea how much power they have over people by just not having a reaction. In a situation where they are needed for validation they can easily just say "Oh it is what it is" or "don't know, don't care" and destroy them with apathy. By having neither a positive or negative reaction you have power. Or let's say you're an INFJ who is doing someone else's chores. The moment you leave, and NOT come back - giving in to the shame of leaving them- they will realize taking you for granted was a huge mistake.

[@heba1148]

I used to do this, and people used to look at me like a crazy person, beside that, every single time I did that I ended up being used badly.. So I stopped because it hurts to give and give and give and never receive..

[@lilorphani]

I’m here rn. Moving through this behavior. Growing pains. 🤪

[@aquariusstar7248]

Yes!! And turning the ship around has been tough but you eventually gain momentum. And then you think, "Wtf hv I been doing all of my life!"😭😨 and then you get over it and keep going!😆😆

[@heba1148]

@@aquariusstar7248 it was very hard, but time and pain teach a lot..

[@heba1148]

@@lilorphani you gotta stop at some point..

[@pourroyj]

It's difficult to let friends go. I ask myself why I spend so much, time, money, and energy on friends, that wont spend time on themselves, thousands. Locked in their negative beliefs about themselves and usually addiction. I can see the warm, vital light that burns in them. It's too easy. I like helping people and not telling anyone. It's like finding a sick bird and nurturing it back to health, and releasing it when it can fly and live independently. I'm in my usual introverted spot, no lover because I think I read folks so well, that I avoid issues. I can find lots of stuff that defines an INFJ or sigma male, then I say, so what? Doesn't help me cope or find like minded companion. And it's not helping me to stop pushing narcissist buttons, and hurting there feelings.... I was never a bully as a kid, but it is fun sometimes. Feel free to reply. Nothing real happens in isolation and overthinking.

[@HaleyMary]

I started to be more authentic this year than any other time in my life, but I have noticed that some people have pulled away this year. In some ways though, I feel happier surrounding myself with a small group of friends who accept me for who I am rather than a large group of people who only felt like they knew me.

[@ramyanagashree]

Wenzes!! I have been following you from couple of years. I like all your videos. But this! OMG! But this video is on another level. This is so relatable. I'm guilty of inflating others ego most of the time and then they try to sit on my head. Then I'm like, "I can't take this anymore" and show them their place. That's it. That's the end of most of the relationships. It can be my classmate, my colleague or cousin or a relative. When I try to dim my own light to give them a chance to shine, they think I'm weak but actually I'm not. When they see me in my full strength they get intimidated like anything. They will be scared or shocked. This video is definitely my favorite and i would come back to this again and again to remind myself.

[@ambrosearts]

Said that very well....yeppp.

[@moorliving2703]

My god! You just commented my life.

[@jessmason2112]

Take it a step further. People with dark shadows and issues who refuse to face what's been causing conflict in their life build false egos which they hold onto dearly. Like the narcissist for example. Manipulation to justify their false persona.

[@mr.goodwrench8273]

Have I built up people before and then felt like it's not appreciated, and I cannot help myself but door slam and "break" everything I've built? Yes. I had found that once I had made an effort to be inspirational to someone and did not bear any fruit from that, I had no other choice than to completely delineate from them and move on instead of hanging around & exhausting myself. As a result of moving on, I had gotten back to that pursuit of the "epic life".

[@fowchiiiliedpuppiesdied]

Just did this the other day. Didn’t want to, but I think it was necessary. It was an INTJ, of all people. Surprising.

[@aquariusstar7248]

How many egos just got broken listening to Wenzes in this video?🤣🤣 I realized this last year and the pattern is broken. I have had the temptation to backslide, but I'm holding my ground!💪🏾💪🏾This is a great reminder...been listening to Wenzes for 3 yrs now and it has been a huge gamechanger!

[@jayrtee]

Wow, just wow. Another great video, thank you. I realized through the latter stages of my husband's alcohol addiction that this is what I was doing - building up my ego by being everything that he needed. Through time, I started to find that in order to get him what he needed, I needed to stop helping so much. Let him find the answer on his own and start focusing on what I needed. I'm still going through the process of learning to put myself first, thereby breaking down my ego.

[@MylezNevison]

Knowing and understanding others is #wisdom. Knowing and understanding the self is #enlightenment.

[@mypov4343]

Just be your authentic self and let the chips fall where they may. No sweat at all!

[@AkilahOsa]

Been there, done that, trying not to go back to that. 😅

[@chocovanille5809]

Breaking the egos of the surgeons and anesthesiologist i work with everyday. I am just an assistant. But don’t care less. I see us all equals.

[@kimkeck6266]

Oh my goodness...they have the biggest ego ever!! You go!!🙌💪😉🤭

[@chocovanille5809]

@@kimkeck6266 trust me. Everyday is a war in the OR

[@pourroyj]

Now that's got to be fun. How dare you, did she just insult me? Is that true? In their head all day. Or, until you say a little prayer for them...

[@pnwperson]

don't get me started on the people in the medical industry lol🤣🤣 edit: they are all not built for the profession and aren't the nicest when they're not

[@Elven.]

Society, trends and cults work like this too: you put up with my BS, I put up with your BS and we tell each other we belong

[@grassfedmilkmomma]

People say I'm scary when I do that. I'm careful now who I choose to associate with because that's a big deal. I have to feel comfortable telling that person when their wrong and I'm not gonna be a crutch

[@lovelight5407]

I mirrored a guy yesterday, why do they hate us so much ,he actually attacked me and I threw him on the ground ,,ALWAYS SHORT LEGGED STUMPY LITTLE EGO MONSTERS🤮, 🤣🤣🤣

[@TroyPosey]

Excellent video Wenzes! 🙂👍🏼🌹 Absolutely... I think every INFJ has done this subconsciously many times throughout their life. I still do it sometimes, and have to catch myself, and take things down a few notches.

[@espressocoffeeshine4346]

Having never had a support team, I neither build up peoples ego or their authentic self. For some reason doing so does not feel authentic to me! I do think others have been my enabler. One of the great ironies of life is people will give you a hamburger, but don't bother to ask someone how to make a hamburger, or worse yet, to help you make a hamburger. People will not help you move forward, they think help that is keeping you stuck is charity!

[@sahargal2204]

OMG you’re so smart Wensez. You just solved the mystery of my life.

[@serban2139]

Yeah..I'm proud of this...but also I'm not too proud of this haha

[@lindateuling7862]

That is an amazing insight about our building people's egos rather than their authentic selves - and we can then *break" as well as "make" them. When you mentioned it at the beginning, I thought to myself, "I'll bet this will be good!" My hunch was right - this is a fascinating way of looking at it. Ego and authentic self - two distinctly different items. My reaction was (of course they're different and (2) Why didn't I realize earlier on? I began to get more authentic when I changed some conversational habits and allowed myself to use them with people I was trying to help - which helped them to make things conscious, too. Later on I used some of the same habits on myself to become more aware of my own authentic self - and there were times when it was indeed hard on my ego - but it made for good self examination! :)

[@michellem775]

This makes perfect sense why I fell for a narcissist.

[@YouilAushana]

That is so true, I can see what truly makes someone happy and love that about them and try to support that. Giving them a glimpse into the fantasy world I live in were anything is possible. Trying to protect their gifts. Which is not socially acceptable and most people can't handle the introverted world and is not sustainable for the average person. This ends up hurting them most because the differences end up popping up. They end up in a tug-of-war between the real world and the world of safety and growth I have provided for them which causes both parties to get hurt and breaking the person's ego. Sometimes I feel so guilty, hurt and you ended the video perfectly. Im sure all INFJ's feel the same way

[@gregoryyoung4604]

I just discovered your channel, and have been binging on your videos. I haven't taken the personality test yet, but I sense strongly that I am infj, as well as my daughter. I keep thinking "oh, that is so me!". Your clear and concise presentation is first class! Muchos gracias...

[@m2pozad]

Take a test and let us know the results.

[@gregoryyoung4604]

@@m2pozad I'm on it...

[@editorjeannie2318]

Yes let us know?

[@FanderR]

I'm an INFJ-A and before 2 days ago I never imagined there was my "personality type". I just knew I took the most unprobable ( path / decisions ) since I was 6. INFJ's are so useful. We may need to relate to each other.

[@gregoryyoung4604]

OK! I tested off-the-chart infj. How wonderful to know that I'm not the only one who is this way. I will begin my journey of discovery and healing with the help of this channel and any other that is recommended...

[@sarahsmith9766]

Powerful ending here! Not caring if your abandoned. Idk if you’ve covered this, but what about cutting people out when they become distant?

[@thewwmm25]

more focus on one self and meeting your own needs. Got it.

[@jasperstone7413]

If there is something to be learned from the experience, carry the lesson with you and live so that moments are created and unity is offered. Live with no regrets or fear, no expectations. But with all anticipation of acceptance and the humility of survival. ----- Poetic Play 2022 -----

[@m3tatr0n]

Exactly what I needed to hear today!

[@joceyrocks8840]

She is goals

[@abrahamgute7961]

WOW Very deep and introspective...!!! Thanks wenzes...😇😇😊😊

[@BrendaHouston_]

I started this video and had to stop because it’s really late and you’re breaking down my ego Wenzes and I need to be rested for this ok?

[@ryanunderwood5465]

You are genuinely authentic from birth🥰

[@ryanunderwood5465]

Flies start swarming (haters/devil)

[@ryanunderwood5465]

You have the master fly swatter I promise 🤫

[@macoeur1122]

So right. So insightful.

[@sagebay2803]

This video helped me so much. Thank you!

[@dsingh966]

Could you do a video, where what are the consequences when and Infj puts themselves first? Like I noticed, since I started putting myself first, people around me(acquaintances) not my close circle, got all like, she is so selfish etc etc, when there was not 1 instance where I refused to help anyone. The rumor spreading, the collective hate. It’s all behind me now, but it gave me a lot of resistance when I was trying to stick to my new moral principles.

[@MegaCyberleader]

you know i luv you right :) you helped me so much i hardly need you anymore. But I wont just leave. I love these videos.

[@petermarintv]

Just found this channel and wow. Really helping me understand myself even more. Subscribed!

[@lilorphani]

I need to watch all of these. Thank you so much! You are so awesome 👏💖🙏💫

[@SamsonPavlov]

Thank you for sharing this conscious video message dear! Blessed be! ❤️

[@ryanunderwood5465]

You go girl😘

[@lindagithaiga1974]

I'm on break mode right now ☺️

[@drewamasterpiece5268]

My x made me aware of this!

[@lifelessonswithjo]

OMG I used to be like that then recently I ended going off. Now, I am done!!!

[@hilaklein4087]

Yes my thoughts are hard to control any suggestion ??

[@asahlogi]

The thing is we are very sensitive. We want everything special. We want something genuine. But our idealistic view doesn't allow us to beg for something. For many people that would be extremely exhausting. Sorry for my bad English.

[@tlong2485]

I love this channel so much ❤️ it's so validating

[@fazzaustralia8932]

I know this all too well!

[@kevinyarusso326]

Solid video. Thanks Wenzes!

[@gamblinggoons6323]

always real gems from wenzes💎🎯

[@robin-vt1qj]

Love it

[@awakentheeagle]

I enjoy your videos by the way ❤️🦅❤️

[@charlesbutler4363]

@Wenzes 🤓😁 A king or queen is a "servant" of the people, therefore they can't afford the "luxury" of being selfish but to a certain degree. Is it possible that selfish deed even is done with an unselfish purpose & not out of fear??? Oh yeah...Just because I holler doesn't mean I was hit😏😁 #strongsupportstheweak Be BLESSED and Stay STRAPPED(with faith)🤠🤓😇👑

[@livesremembered8698]

I am recovering from a narcissistic relationship and to me this sounds like victim-blaming.

[@thenickening]

hitler was an INFJ too.... generalizing 'all INFJs' is also an ego build for some listeners. there are other ingredients to the human personality pie

[@thenickening]

@@Human_01 LISTEN! just because youre triggered about something doesnt mean someone else has to be silenced. truth burns before it heals. we are all capable of evil or good. if one is unable to admit the good AND evil within... be sure - only evil can come from them.

[@joshy0369]

Yes 🤔

[@ryanunderwood5465]

Hearts or Minds 🙃

[@ryanunderwood5465]

♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️🥇

[@andresalvarez1732]

🔥❤️🔥

[@m2pozad]

I see some posing and flexing in the comments. 🚫

[@jessmason2112]

🎯 ❤

[@objectiveintuition77133]

💯

[@luisrodrigiuez639]

I’m not helping anyone ever again i guess I’m doing wrong

[@ryanunderwood5465]

What is this.. EGO 🤯 yikes 😬

[@ryanunderwood5465]

Spotted a mile away 😋

[@musabalakolo8761]

Reason why Masculine men like INFJ female. #My mum and Dad in my thoughts now. I recon i pick up the INFJ personality from my Mum.

[@DearYoungerSelf111]

Curious - will you expand on why masculine men like INFJ female"?

[@musabalakolo8761]

@@DearYoungerSelf111 Men especially masculine men generally have egos, at least in this part of the world #Africa. When a man have a submissive woman that massages his ego, it boost his confidence, it make him want to face the world knowing someone got his back. INFJ are good at building people's ego.

[@miloszgondek]

are you against marriage

[@Wenzes]

I am married :)

[@miloszgondek]

@@Wenzes I know. Sorry, It was a stupid question. I just thought it fit so well on the problematic og today's topic. Like being against alkoholisme, but drinking anyway.

[@luisrodrigiuez639]

What are you talking about

[@ambrosearts]

If you do not know what she is talking about ...you are not an INFJ.

[@faysmith7248]

Read the description 😯