HOW THE INFJ SUPERCHARGES THEIR DARK SIDE

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INFJ Life Coach Lesson: INFJs have a very strong tendency to suppress their dark side. This can be seen as an advantage because it makes them easier to hide this part of themselves from others; however, sometimes when we don't express ourselves fully or embrace our inner darknesses then it may come out in unexpected ways which could cause problems later down the road.
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[@Wenzes]

Have you used your "dark side" consciously to create positive change in your life?

[@sttech4471]

Definitely, I’ve learned that for me to enjoy life I must let myself gain some and not just give all the time to other people.

[@joselozano0528]

6 years ago I was fighting for my life literally. My opponent was under the influence of more then 1 drug. After he struck me in the neck with a table leg nearly killing me & after 2 & a half hours of fighting. I finally cut loose it was weird & never felt anything like it. After going savage on the guy I finally ended the fight. I survived & he went to jail. Also yes I took a hell of a beating couldn't get out of bed on my own for 3 weeks.

[@simovtransportmedia1137]

This is a big topic. My dark side appears like an outburst of anger as a result of someone that I feel close to, crosses my red lines too many times, but soon after I can't stand this condition, I can't take being on bad terms with someone that I have been best friend with just yesterday so I apologyse, but the problem is still there and it happens twise, maybe more, till the relationship is completeley ruined and it's probably not me that will make the final doorslam as a result of my effords to keep my dark side atbay for a relations that can't even exist anymore in a normal way. But even in my darkest moments I keep my self intuned with what I want to tell with what I'm doing. As bizzare as can seem to most people this is a constructive type of anger, but most people can't understans our intuition and our intuition is what keep's us in a healthy bounds even in our most toughest times. This is one of the parts of the INFJ geniouse, we simply can't lose track of ourselfs. If it is a matter of that we will lock ourselfs in our room and proccess our emotional pain alone than to lash out and make people hate us for our outburst of anger. That comes to show us that we can deal with our dark side, that we can use it as a punch to the next level and we actually do this every day, we use our painfull experiences as a base of our new and wiser self. That is actually what the INFJ is all about.

[@risingup1822]

@@joselozano0528 oh my Lord that has to be one of the most traumatizing detrimental stories that I've ever heard in my life and I have heard and been through many horrific times but that takes the cake! I'm terribly sorry that happened to you I'm just glad that you made it out alive!

[@dumba989]

Started three years ago & towards the end of the middle of the transitioning forming. Embracing my "dark side" heavily for the past two years has served me well & continues to protect, guide, and introduce new + healthier relationships in my life. Will always be misunderstood which is something you have to accept, but boundaries are self ♥️

[@jasoncarr551]

We INFJ's are a little nuclear reactor ; quiet, efficient, productive. If you push us; you will see the nightmare called Chernobyl.

[@laundrymatters8364]

Twenty five years ago I put myself in the third person mode and asked myself "What should this person do to improve their situation? ". Worked well to rebuild my life after being decimated by a toxic narcissistic wife. I long overdue prioritized me without the guilt.

[@caddieohm7059]

This is exactly what I learned on my infj journey. Be an advocate for yourself!

[@22leggedsasquatch]

That's what Jordan Peterson means by look after yourself the way you would sometimes else

[@Betscu.]

Yep. Being selfish in a healthy way is crucial that INFJs can live their life to the fullest.

[@karinfriedemann3761]

My dark side comes up most uncontrollably while parenting. I think that because of our relatively low energy, need for solitude and intellectual stimulation as well as our tendency to be more than kind, once in a while the Monster Mom blows up and I was wondering if you could do a post on INFJ parenting. It took me a while to realize that even my children judge me because I'm different than other parents, even when I'm doing exactly what I think is good. I was always misunderstood by my parents and siblings and hoped that by having children, somebody would understand me. But no. I'm struggling to accept that no matter what I do for others, it doesn't mean they perceive me as a nice or good person or parent. They have no idea what I gave up in order to do what I'm doing for them or what potential I could reach if I didn't have to fight for basic respect every day.

[@DearYoungerSelf111]

I relate to your parenting journey in that my child has also reflected back to me that I am weird (aka different) as a parent - and I have gotten my feelings crushed many times over - can't say I've figured it out - I have concluded A. My child also senses my vulnerabilities B. Will use my weak spots to their advantage C. When they flex these against me I will continue to discipline them in the way I see appropriate and also let them know that their name calling - etc. Is a weakness in their character and whether I'm perfect or not - they still have boundaries to obey in house - I'm still figuring it out- My child is a dominate Feeler - Would love to hear what other INFJ parents have to contribute

[@tlong2485]

This is my life 😩 I TOTALLY relate. Xoxo

[@KibatheMalinois]

Not a parent but having 3 nieces and 2 nephews growing up around me, I can totally relate. I tend to blow up too but if only they understood I wanted what's best for them but honestly they do like me a whole lot more in a different way so I found that first I have to find my purpose and I try to involve them as much as I can however the girls don't seem as interested as the boys which is fair because I relate to the boys a lot better anyway so our interest either kinda line up or it's easier to get them on my frequency and explain to them how I think about things and how I want them to approach certain things and it's really helped my bond in a lot of ways with them. It's not perfect but it's a start right. By the end of it I hope I can pass down a set of worthwhile skills to last those boys a lifetime😁!!

[@TarzanHedgepeth]

Totally relate.

[@TarzanHedgepeth]

Except for the Mom part. Definitely a dad. 😝

[@autumndusk641]

The advice resonates with me, and I like the term “intensify your dark side”. “Intense” shares the same Latin root as the word “intent”, to do something with purpose. So, use our capacity to be “dark” intentionally, with a specific goal in mind. Other personality types might use their dark side indiscriminately, as a matter of day to day life, which is what sets the INFJ apart, knowing that putting ourselves first means someone else comes second, and being aware of the fallout from this choice, and learning to be okay with it.

[@m2pozad]

Yeah, this subjective, INFJ darkness inclination calls for more thought. Naming something 'dark', which many others deem natural, is in my mind, not actually dark. First, it's conscious, and second, it is more internally neurotic than externally ill willed. But my focus was elsewhere, while watching the video- lack of personal goals, undervaluing personal need, etc..

[@autumndusk641]

@@m2pozad I like your point, that the behaviour is not ill willed. It makes me think it’s instinctual though, and as though I need to keep my distance for safety, like one would stay back from a wild animal.

[@celticcook3950]

Intension should be distinguished from intention though. When intent is met with extent, intensity increases.

[@apdurn]

@@m2pozad it is dark, because it’s in the dark/ hidden and can feel uncomfortable/bad. But the night is necessary for the day . What is dark is rarely evil .

[@m2pozad]

@@apdurn Okay. But there is a mixing here of the Jungian shadow/unconscious dark side and a conscious aversion of INFJ Fe for Fi self-focus. It would take more than any of us are interested in doing here and now to pull it all apart and clarify. You seemed to have blended to two as well. Saw your channel... Different! You are quite artsy talented. What is with the little black dress and heels evening wear about, in the middle of the day?

[@HoshPak]

My dark side always comes forward whenever people doubt me. They think I am not capable of doing their task because all they know is that soft and caring side. When they deny me from getting what I want I become vicious in pursuing it and if they think they need to step on my toes they will get acquainted with my selfish/ruthless side. To date I'm the only one at work who has ever shot back at our supervisor and came back victorious. I unfortunately am reliant to his opinion if I ever want to get into a higher position, however I am making good progress convincing everyone around him instead. My coworkers actually elected me for two important positions at our company and I know from others that it infuriates our supervisor. He doesn't understand how that's possible. If he spent some time with me in private maybe he would eventually find out but he decided to avoid me indefinitely. I have a very good life at work now, especially as my new team leader seems to be my biggest cheerleader. :)

[@HaleyMary]

I've often felt like I was abandoned by friends after awhile. It was like if I tried to suggest doing something with one friend or a group of friends, it would either take forever to happen or not happen at all. Things would only happen if it was the friend's idea, not mine. I also find that being selfish is healthy because when I do take time for myself, I feel happier and more relaxed. It's awful to say, but I feel happier spending time by myself these days because I've spent decades feeling rejected by my peers.

[@ngeee10]

Right there with ya.

[@JulieChanDoitsu]

Yes, exactly. The worst part is when you've had enough and decide to retreat yourself from the world to take a breather and work on yourself and what makes you happy, these so-called friends or acquaintances think you're selfish for not putting up with their "problem-dumping" on you. Only hang out with a couple of friends who treat you like you treat others by choosing poeople who genuinely want to spend time with you, and who are willing to listen to you when you need it the most.

[@lindavalentin5582]

In my humble opinion Wenzes, the dark side can also be referred to as SELF-PRESERVATION 😍

[@7goldglamour777]

Interesting! Actually the variants of ennagram, one is Self preservation. I always have been the sx/sp. But for awhile now I've been sp dominant, sx secondary. Yes, self preservation definitely has darker traits.

[@MetaTron3693]

Wow. So so true. I used my life to make all humans happy. I needed to be helping others all the time. I learned from childhood if I wasn’t giving something of myself I had no value. Now when I say my truth stand up for myself people get angry and yes they do abandon me. Even my forever friend. When I addressed what she was doing and asked her to stop. And she just cut me out. Just like that. People see what’s in themselves when I speak My truth. It scares them. It shocks them because now I’m different. What they were hiding I always saw.. it never said a word. Im integrating all parts of me. I see the whole world differently. I see people differently. I see why they had me in their lives and why I had them in my life. And why they abandon me. It makes me sad..to see my friendships disappear. It becomes lonely hoping someday they will come back and accept me for me. The me that was hiding behind the curtain. Never showing who I am. It takes along time for family and friends to see the goodness in you when they are so unprepared for the changes. These changes reflect mirror things inside themselves, bring a bright light on their darkness. I feel I am very different and I love deeply. Unconditional. Even through the hurt my moments of hate are so brief. I always want to talk it out and resolve conflicts. Humans don’t communicate. All I want to do is explain and resolve. Because I just love them. On a brighter ⭐️⭐️⭐️😂note.⭐️Starting all over again has its benefits. We are overcomers. Create your own Epic Life. Much love everyone. 💜⭐️💜

[@light5634]

Damn! You're addressing one of my greatest fears. I do feel like I have a monster lying dormant in me and if I let out my anger, I do feel like I'm going to became an asshole and no one would want to be around me. Thank you tremendously for this video

[@HaleyMary]

Same here. I don't often get angry, but when I do it's like a monster or devil comes out and just screams. Part of it might be that if there is any stress throughout the day, I don't deal with it and it just builds up and then would come out when I get home. This was always a problem in elementary school when I was bullied and then my anger at the bullies would build up throughout the day and then I would end up blowing up at my mom in the evenings after school. I wish I could say things have changed as I've gotten older, but they haven't. My mom is very hyper and adhd where her mind is all over the place, but it works for her working in a school, but for me, her energy doesn't help my short term memory and I need a lot more time to process things and I only read, write or focus on learning at night or with headphones on if during the day because she will talk randomly throughout the day and disrupt my thought process. I realized I never liked school because I learn better alone in a quiet environment.

[@light5634]

@@HaleyMary Well, you at least allow yourself to blow up. I do it once a year 😄 I yell a few times a year. I mean it. I find anger highly exhausting. Why don't you stand up for yourself at school?

[@Ohwome]

It is so very extremely scary to know what we actually have the capability of becoming inside. There is a cold like no other within us. We want to only show our warm light because we know the deep dark cold within. And would never want someone to know that cold. Why we walk alone. Embrace the Darkness and use it to get you through the impossible and unimaginable and shock the world to it's very core. INFJ-T ♓🖤

[@rhinoculousaurus]

Yes. Needed info to self-less infj. I did this recently. It added:more self love, boundaries, and release of suppressed emotion. Like I really feel like my true authentic self, and can freely be me anywhere. Some changes: I used to pamper myself less, i dressed more androgynous, now added more feminine clothes. When my anger surface, surprisingly I still have control, it's not rage.And those dreams business, craft ideas are more doable because My thoughts and perspectives definitely shifted to benefit me, therefore adding value to others. It's hard at first, but an awakening.very cool

[@lindateuling7862]

Choosing to embrace my dark side (turning into my servant rather than a master) was a smart decision, and it helped me get along better with others! 🙂 It was good to learn that accepting, embracing and integrating my dark side didn't require me to talk about it!. (In my experience, it was better that way) What I most likely communicated was a calmness and composure - I wasn't running away from anything. I harnessed it, people saw a difference, and my relationships became more comfortable and rewarding for both sides. Yes, it does make us less defensive and more confident. I appreciated how you brought in our Se function, too (I'm much better with it now - although I still have my "moments"). It's a learning experience, a way of life, and definitely worth it. It's a matter of "owning it."

[@focusrelentlessly8829]

Congratulations on 45k wenzes. I was your 715 subscriber. YOU'VE COME A LONG LONG WAY. PROUD OF YOU & THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP

[@Wenzes]

Thank you 😊

[@TroyPosey]

Oh, I definitely have... It has been a rough road, but once you start seeing the improvement, you don't want to stop. You have to find the balance. Like you said, when you first start doing it, you can go a bit overboard, but you have to find a good balance, and a way to do things in a tactful way so you don't seem rude, but you are also still setting your boundaries and holding to them. It just takes time and practice.

[@danidino1645]

I've actually realized that a few years ago and tried to be more selfish in situations so that I would stop pleasing everyone around and forgetting about myself. I've realized that my fear of judgement and abandonment will still be there and people will judge and abandon me even if I give them everything and that it was time for me to put myself first. It was hard at first, but it got easier because I've noticed the changes in me. I do feel better. I'm still a people pleaser but I dont "abandon myself" for others and I'll continue working on myself. Thanx for the video!

[@hilaklein4087]

I learned to value authenticity and vulnerability instead of support, loved and validated by others

[@TheWisdomOfTheAges_PsyM_Revd]

9:40 it's better to be disliked for who you are than liked for who you're not.

[@BeholdIamaNewCreation]

I needed this today really badly. I seem to struggle sticking with my decisions. Backtracking and getting sidetracked. I know what’s good for me. I know what’s best for me. But somehow getting caught in that cycle of self doubt seems easier than making an epic life decision and sticking with it. Thanks Wenzes

[@sueaug74]

I see the dark side as "shadow" , the ying & yang. Yes, I fully integrated it all, so now I am whole and that itself scares most people most of the time. It took years and years to develop . Sometimes, my dark side has helped me innerstand a deep and profound 'beauty" of the dark .It helped me appreciate people that alot of times, society deems as not perfect, black sheep , odd or strange people. There is beauty in "imperfections". With that being said in Life we cannot have light with out the dark. Acceptance is key. Music is definitely a great way in expression especially hard rock and heavy metal. Thanks for your insights and Rock On' Wenzes! :D

[@why55555]

It never occurred to me how dangerous INFJs could be till I started healing from burnout in retirement & started wondering where the best place would be to go to meet more INFJs. I'd love to see a social club for us to get together in Sarasota where I live. Can you imagine how much the System must be terrorized by the thought of a roomful of INFJs in a Think Tank it isn't in control of?🤭TY so much for your channel that helps me laugh at myself & accept my unique characteristics better as I recalibrate for Chapter 2 in the future.🙏

[@TyGee777]

On point Wenzes! This is so difficult but sooooo necessary to live your best life, reaching your full potential. Im at rock bottom and still feel guilty at times of putting myself first🙄. But one of the main reasons of why I'm at rock bottom is because of my choices, putting others needs before my own🤦🏾. By the time I recognized it, it was to late and I'm alone rebuilding with no help from those I helped😂. Lesson learned but it's still a challenge. A challenge I will conquer.💪🏾 Im working thru all the bitterness, anger, resentment, depression and anxiety. I've made some huge strides to the point I can smile again be grateful, learn the lessons and keep it pushing. Thankful to God, your videos and the infj community (on KZbin) I'm recovering well.

[@KibatheMalinois]

Good luck bro, in the same boat, keep me in your prayers too. keep pushing forward no matter what!! Struggles and challenges are real but remember you don't put clean clothes in the washing machine, you put them in dirty and they have to go through a rough process and even when that machine bleeps, they still need to be hung out to dry, get ironed under hot steam but they come out fresh, clean and amazing at the end so just keeping hope that the process will have it's benefits at the end. All the best.

[@TyGee777]

@@KibatheMalinois thanks for the encouraging words. Will keep lifted in prayer.

[@edyta4888]

Wow I have problem with start my own biznes and now I know why... Im so afraid to be selfish and always think what say other people. But it must be good for me and be my chooise no matter what people say! Thank you

[@iconicintuitive]

It's so sad that we will actually feel bad and consider how the person who's hurting us feels! As they abuse! I've stopped doing this even though they keep going

[@freddynovember5842]

Its always so hard for me to understand why people don't ask themselves what others need or like. I didn't realize that they only will ask that person directly and never give it any thought when that person isn't around.

[@LOVE_ALL_AROUND]

Menopause introduced me to my anger which lead me to finding my power. Thank you for your content.

[@bullswing5536]

I’m constantly helping people in big ways… I often don’t get anything not even a courtesy or friend

[@pablobarrera7613]

When you grow up in a hostile environment with the you-or-them approach, you learn to be alert and use your dark side quite often, in war-mode.

[@mourningst5r]

💯

[@leeroy14r60]

Am infp and iam going to steal your epic life...

[@Wenzes]

😉👍 go for it!!! We all deserve it

[@BlackPearlMinistries]

I said this recently. Someone told me something. I said "you don't want me to respond to this" I care about you too much. My response would destroy them with them being an IFNP. I said I will always hide this full wrath from you. You wouldn't survive. I've realized to prioritize myself finally at 42. It is so freeing once you give into this. I found an INFP that fills all my needs at the same I decided to live for myself and what I really wanted I realized I've compromised my whole life and never got what I really wanted. I finally feel comfortable of being myself and saying what I really want. But I can now stand up to others though. I am tired of compromising and being steamrolled and feeling like I never win.

[@kickback1680]

Darth Vader : Come to the Dark Side infj! Infj : How did you go the dark side? Is it because of ur child trauma? Darth Vader : Ahh idk😐

[@mr.goodwrench8273]

Have I used my "dark side" consciously to create positive change in my life? Yes. If I had to say anything, it was to get others at an understanding about the boundaries I have set up and I have different "methods to my madness" than what they have. When I didn't have anything to say and I just took some action, it was me exiting the scene unannounced in order to move onward to success. Most of the time, those folks have learned that I'm just me. I'm not harming anyone. Afterwards, they'll have some respect for me they didn't have prior.

[@ljsmooth69]

Mindsphere what my dark side might do if it gets out of control

[@Natalie-lf7hb]

Yes nice topic! Thank You. Actually that what you describe is a global mechanism and not just for Infj's. But big lights make dark shadows so shadow integration is always a usefull thing to do to minimise the risks the Projection mechanism. Thank You for choosing the topic and shine some light on it. 🙏

[@xxrayenxx1372]

10:10 is like ur bigbrother stop when u are kid from everything

[@meralguzey..ph.d538]

Habits make identity..very true. Thank you Wenzes.

[@tiffany5575]

She's telling the truth.

[@split_jcgg9613]

I love this topic.. I just finished my Invisalign treatment and I’m very proud that I stuck with it. Every INFJ should get it now don’t wait.

[@winniewinkles]

Thank you. I have a huge problem dimming my light after a lifetime of not being well recieved, understood and me training myself away (from myself) into people pleasing to avoid the hurt feelings of (most) people not being happy for me. Typing that out made me realise it’s to avoid abandonment either by them or inevitable me pulling away as I don’t deserve that. This is a great video. I’ve had my life blow up off the back of putting myself first (before).

[@Speaktruthordontspeak]

I have found a balance in both my shadow and light. Being an empath/INFJ intuition can be a mental prison if the mind is not exercised right; I found grounding myself to nature helps clear the mind(breathe in with problematics and out with solutions and clarity). Also speak your peace and you’d be surprised how many lives you can change, we open the eyes of many with our powerful words as we are observing everything and everyone we see habits and patterns others might not. We mirror others to show them how they impact others. Our actions are proof enough of our skills; you have to believe in yourself and others will follow your morals. You can find yourself and when you do it will be a release and rush at the same time; peace and power of your true self without outside influence.

[@dorotaem6621]

As soon as a person shows you that they are not good at relationships, that is often the justification for making chess moves for your benefit.

[@djhardcorehengst6356]

Being not good at relationships is often a justification to play too much chess

[@dorotaem6621]

@@djhardcorehengst6356 so if you notice a person is playing chess with you and not capable of connecting appropriately as a human, then you get to play in a way that benefits you

[@djhardcorehengst6356]

@@dorotaem6621 I'd lose against you at chess, that's how good my relationship skills are!

[@dorotaem6621]

@@djhardcorehengst6356 that’s sweet of you to say

[@ojuice8110]

@@dorotaem6621 Just bcuz a person is not good at relationships doesn’t mean they are playing with you or have some sort of bad intentions.

[@aliceyee6998]

Really inspiring. There is definitely an anger side of me which I have held back for fear of looking bad. To expose myself is really not easy.

[@yvonnemarshall6308]

This video I thought was going in a different direction of how to correct the behavior and mend the relationship. But I’m glad the direction it went, it was so insightful and logical (given our extra mechanism of over generosity and think of what others don’t even think is selfish behavior). Re-categorizing this as apart of everyone, not just as a bad trait might have saved my last two friendship breakups as making sure I was having my needs met from day one and didn’t turn into a “you’ve changed and you’re a bad person now” could have saved so much misunderstanding. Pretending to be something we’re not, then revealing it later goes against INFJ’s values in the first place so this should be corrected to stick to that value and create a balance within us for more fulfilling relationships anyways. This was an eye opener, thank you!

[@grassfedmilkmomma]

This is going to help set boundaries also:)

[@jerrimenard3092]

I have a charisma that often overwhelms others, but I have never been good at handling it. People ether find me creepy or they get obsessed, as in stalking or asking me to do vampire stuff to them. I try to tamp it down. That makes it worse. It just comes out at random moments. Then people cry, or get super turned on. A total stranger to me got a sigil tattooed on them at my request, as a first tattoo. So, I have power, I just can't seem to find my nitch. My life is a Demonic gender bending Finno-Urgic luge ride of chaos. I sort of like it, but I am lonely often. Vids like this might be of help with that. Thank You.

[@SamsonPavlov]

This is so true! 🔥 Thank you for sharing dear! ❤️

[@LxuryGoods]

Im so glad i found your channel. Everything you say is spot on

[@lingper4]

We need a video about how to let go of unrealistic visions and expectations and think more practtical and realistic

[@khaldon9711]

Some infjs don't understand that this was a metaphor discussion , not A literally one. All you need is to prioritize , not to be selfish.

[@celticcook3950]

Anger, power, force. I have a certain idea of what I want, and I’m going to go for it. Conquering, pushing forward. This will bump against someone else’s standard of life. They won’t have what I have.

[@vibeaboutittarot]

I love how much you empower us INFJ!! ❤️❤️

[@HaleyMary]

I love that line: "The way people react to us taking what we want is not our business". I have heard a teacher say something along those lines in the past year where she said "What other people think about me is none of my business". It's important to remember because if we spent our whole lives worrying about what everyone thought about our every word or action, we would never be real and live authentically and that's no life for any of us to live at all.

[@leselle777]

Well Expressed, You have Grasped the deep layers. Thank you. It is helpful.

[@brandonkelly5209]

I'm a 43 year old single father and it took me a minute but I had to figure myself out and went hermit mode for 8 yesrs and just now getting back to be a little more sociable and meeting new people. People are screwed up

[@ggizk7]

Thanks wenzes ..it's really a good one 💙 Expecting much more love from India ❤️👐

[@lindavalentin5582]

Yes I have, although it’s taken a very very long time. Thank you for your AMAZING COACHING. Bless you Wenzes!❤

[@caddieohm7059]

I'm an infj without the particular selflessness. I can only thrive and survive if there's enough space for solitude and my personal interests. I have a busload full of children and feel their education came to me like natural. I wouldn't have expected that as I didn't feel beforehand I was like a motherly type. Now I can see that my empathy and skill to teach come to play especially with my children. With other people I'm always there for anyone to advise though because I just know best 😉. Now, I get impatient sometimes when people don't take or understand my advise and just use me for my wisdom. I'm not interested to give shallow warm words.

[@theodert5697]

thank you for helping me. I appreciate it. I feel like I've come to the conclusion and hope to achieve inner peace within myself now.

[@alisonrichardson6630]

Like the analogy of breathing and taking someone's oxygen away. Very impactful! Thank you

[@vivianeprudentiabuelens9142]

We are certainly not selfish ! 😊❤ 4:30

[@yuugaouzuki18]

This hits me right in my meow meow. 🤣 I am currently working on this. Thanks, Wenzes.

[@tiggerthecat5525]

This is scary because she is 100% correct ..

[@teancummgarza2239]

Thank you, Wenzes😌

[@lauragraves4342]

WOW this is an amazing and useful message and you communicated it wonderfully. Thank you. Without being true to ourselves we can't effectively sacrifice our own good for someone else for their sake and truly see things for what they are because you can't fully grasp how important what they get from it is either ok I don't think I said that very well but how can you see how it benefits them if you can't see how the things you do for yourself benefits you but you have to benefit yourself in a way that is true to who you really are. 💖

[@ljsmooth69]

I don't care if you need me or not.

[@Paris-gl1pm]

Conveniently, my intuition led me to explore this method of putting myself first and going about resolve a way that is unnatural. It's helpful so far 😅

[@brendaweltner9629]

Really appreciate this video. Some of the best advise yet!

[@TheOldRailRoad]

Whoa, it's Brenda. A fellow INFJ.😀 Love your channel.💜Maranantha⬆

[@brendaweltner9629]

@@TheOldRailRoad Thank you!! God bless you, my dear!

[@bennyregohos1650]

Dark side is our energy

[@ravenbelote1801]

Thank you…❤

[@mantsabengmokorosi3186]

Wenzes, you are the best

[@motionmuse5684]

Yes, what do I want to listen to 👍🎉💕

[@CarlMassop]

Thanks 💛

[@vademecum8173]

Thank you

[@jeremys4470]

This changed my perspective thank you

[@jeremys4470]

I hope other infjs see this.

[@jessmason2112]

❤ 👊 I find your lack of Faith 🙏 😇 Disturbing. Again this is very true.

[@NamanSaxena]

Thank you ❤️

[@anxietywitch]

Wenzes is a freaking tiny genius. Rock on faery genius! (I cant wait til she fixes me)

[@drlarrymitchell]

"Don't fuck with Mr. Zero."

[@melikasourosh6609]

oh i start that stage for so longe. i always was quastioning my self that why people just want to be friends with me because i can help them for growth or calmness

[@WackadoodleMalarkey]

Godzilla harbors no self doubt, and neither shall we!

[@christinewhite6779]

I’ve lost everything because I thought of everyone except myself I’m still doing it and I’m getting no respect. I have lost all my kids and don’t have a good relationship with my boyfriend because I have given far too much. I’m now starting to be a bit selfish and he has pulled away. Losing my kids is teaching me to be a bit more selfish. Because I know I was a great mum and nanna but I had no boundaries. I really need help I walk around with the biggest knot in my stomach everyday because I feel like I’m failing my partner but I’m reality I’m failing myself.

[@VG61]

Very TRUE...👍👍👍👍

[@m2pozad]

I should put something in Wenzes' tip jar for this one. 💰

[@geekelly000]

An INFJ is someone who will walk away from conflict for different reasons. E.g. you will not start a debate because you know it will end up nowhere and you'll be wasting your time, or because you don't want to end up in jail because of your temper, etc. People around you will say you're scared but you can't be bothered to explain yourself because you know the truth so why waste your time justifying your decisions, you're misunderstood all the time anyway, so you're used to it. 🤷‍♀️

[@7goldglamour777]

It makes it very easy to just be a complete avoidant as to avoid all bs from people. That means we don't drain ourselves or end up getting arrested. Let's face it, people are stupid (especially these days) and narcissism is extremely prevelant including all the bells and whistles that comes with that.

[@ljsmooth69]

Are we really like 1% of the population. That's something I did not know no wonder why we feel like we don't fit in.

[@Tified967]

No behavioural INFJs like on this forum are very common whereas cognitive INFJs are rare 😊

[@ljsmooth69]

@@Tified967 sad to say I'm very high on the cognate functionality. I don't necessarily have a dysfunctional behavioral problem. but I do get myself in trouble a lot LOL.

[@ljsmooth69]

No let's fares what comes to mind that means each one of us takes turns and playing what songs we want to hear that's fair that's even that's just

[@musabalakolo8761]

Honestly i feel terrified by the thoughts of bringing my dark side forth. But I'll try, it won't be a day's job for sure.

[@kimberlypagett8031]

I always intuitively know what music to play for friends lol I'm like is it my choice or theirs lol

[@jane1891]

I agree, we do *need* to do it and we *can* *absolutely* do it. Be warned though! In my experience, in the beginning of this process it was akin to me riding a dirt bike for the very first time ever. You may go a little too crazy at first. Too much too fast. You might fall off a couple times or end up in a bush. That’s how it was for me at first. We have to learn how to ride. Sometimes we get a little bruised up in the process *and* sometimes we drive over a few toes of those who are a little to close, as we’re learning. That’s been my experience. Nowadays I’m getting to be quite a good rider and I’m even learning how to pop wheelies and do bunny hops😅 The people whose toes I ran over either went away or they forgave me and got over it. You’ve got to be ok with either outcome. Some will stay and respect you, while some will walk away forever. It *is* worth it, either way, considering what you will gain. The natural inner power gained is indescribable. Those losses are a very small price to pay, as horrible as that may sound. It’s true though.

[@ljsmooth69]

I play the second competitiveness in my. My first Integra this is my daughter

[@rambultruesdell3412]

INFJ, INFP are especially meek and non confrontational. We are burned (hierarchy accusations) first. Not physically superior. We are sages, councilors, empaths. Not warriors. Be selfish when necessary 👍, carefully

[@INFJ595]

Integration into the "dark side" is beneficial in remaining secret / observing / manipulative / analytically gifted...🤔

[@victoriamarion6141]

Do you ever feel stressed about being an infj and a content creator? In terms of time constraints and interacting with your subscribers to the degree you "feel they deserve" while trying to still take care of yourself. The idea of having a bunch of people who I actually like and care about interacting with me, even while I appreciate that many people exist and want to put attention in me, comes with emotional conflicts when I think about timeline. What does your particular timeline look like as a creator/infj and how has that changed since you started this channel?

[@babeakuscaesar]

The question is how much of the dark side do you let out? I know I'm jealous and insecure, but I don't lean into it. How do you balance?

[@amateur_psychologist]

Albert Einstein was an INTP. Please refrain from clickbait thumbnails, your content is good. Please don't do this.

[@hilaklein4087]

Exactly it happened to me also

[@pippalewisNYC]

Great video, thanks!

[@bobbyjackson8120]

I never wanted to use my narcissist mothers tactics...before the shadow...i subconsciencley learned them and integrated as prevenative measures when infront of narcissist or schemed settings.

[@jasperstone7413]

I love you for you. Not because of me.

[@MegaCyberleader]

Join me here, on the dark side, and as father and his girlfriend, We'll rule this small neighborhood...