How to build (and rebuild) trust | Frances Frei

Trust is the foundation for everything we do. But what do we do when it's broken? In an eye-opening talk, Harvard Business School professor Frances Frei gives a crash course in trust: how to build it, maintain it and rebuild it -- something she worked on during a recent stint at Uber. "If we can learn to trust one another more, we can have unprecedented human progress," Frei says.
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[@abcannoy]

Authenticity, Logic, Empathy = rebranding of ethos, logos, pathos

[@grebzlasmike]

A great comment - right on target

[@monikam.9893]

Spot on.

[@dickjohnson8636]

Now i have to find a youtube video on empathy

[@jzk2020]

Brand building ?

[@mikkey246]

Amen

[@thesetruths1404]

She said when we're around people who are "like" us it's easier to be our genuine selves. That is true, but so is this: they most often have to "like" you as well, to give you grace when miscommunication and stife happens. Our American Decree

[@loricrockett-owens5117]

What people don't understand or maybe they don't care to understand is that sometimes trust takes years to rebuild. It's like kicking a lion then wanting a hug.

[@rodsup3934]

Such a good analogy

[@megatron4550]

she’s such a beautiful soul

[@tuyenho5004]

yes..very beautiful

[@Paulapierotic]

Indeed ❤️

[@MichaelBerthelsen]

I always experience that people HATE logic when it's not for them, but against them. People hate being told that they're wrong. And then they won't trust you because you don't agree with them all the time. People easily forget that everyone needs a 'mirror'...

[@edi9892]

Michael Berthelsen I'm a very rational person and noticed that people won't listen to reason, when they're too emotional. You can either play with their emotions (a tough skill to master) or wait until they calmed down. Regarding the latter: if someone is completely hot-headed, but you stay calm without trying to be right, just stating facts, some will see it more as a strength than if you fought back and might even realise that they were too harsh.

[@Paulapierotic]

People(including me writing this) tend to never like hearing the truth, because it’s one of the most difficult things to swallow, it is as hard as to be resilient. People tend to be very stubborn or prideful, it’s a state in which usually it’s a great challenge to surpass

[@Paulapierotic]

Of course this is more likely to happen when people get or are already too emotional in the moment, as edi person said, which makes it less convenient to tell the truth all the time

[@ethanmoon3925]

In the terms of the TED talk, perhaps it's not logic that's lacking here it's empathy. They might trust you to be logical and competent, but not trust that you understand them and won't use your intelligence to attack them.

[@she_sings_delightful_things]

Wonderful comment. Also the comments that followed were super interesting.

[@seanc.6470]

I appreciate her delivery... Her tone was calming... Great speech!

[@svm8419]

just when i lost trust. TED uploaded this video. Never had i needed this video the most. Thank you.

[@clairegarcia7286]

"And if you're cut off before you finish...ladies?"

[@AliZimani]

Wow! That's a great lecture. Congratulations Frances Frei! Impactful, profound and at the same time simple to understand.

[@giannagerster4431]

I revisit this talk fairly regularly. I was initially drawn to how warm and welcoming Frances appeared. I was met ten-fold. Her model is my teaching inspiration, as well as the pivotal asset to problem-solving some of my own relationships. Each listen brings something new, and I cling to each word she says. I cannot give high enough thanks to her.

[@johnhowe8424]

I needed to hear this and I think it’s something I’ll be checking out regularly too. I’ll see you again in a month lol

[@hullaladigital]

Trust is a wire made up of different feelings and values from two human beings. If it's broken, it can be joined back, but it can never be the same again..

[@imjoolia]

As a wise man once said “never say never”. On a serious note, trust can be rebuilt if you see dramatic change with empathy and authenticity as it’s foundation.

[@bttlmarc5125]

@@imjoolia can it be the same tho ?

[@bttlmarc5125]

@@imjoolia and if you already answered that then sorry I'm slow

[@imjoolia]

criptix_ Marc honestly speaking, it depends on what you mean as the same... I’m only pointing this out because my current partner and I have trust issues, but also we’ve only known each other for around two years out of our whole lives. We do not know each others habits. Also keep in mind; habits can be broken if the person is strong enough. You just have to pay attention to how they act and judge based off of that and your knowledge. Don’t just judge because of what you think because your thoughts aren’t always correct. I struggle with this always, but I know my work towards judging based off of true reality and not my emotions is best!!! Hope I helped!

[@bttlmarc5125]

@@imjoolia thank you

[@amyjkr]

My favorite trait is redemption too. I hope this goes viral.

[@michalhalpern7491]

Shalom from Israel. Your advices shook my world. TNX

[@peterchristian5886]

We need to build trust with others. Sometimes it will be violated. So we must be vigilant and pick out those we cannot or will never trust. That's life. But there are many good people out there that we can. Find them and build a great relationship. You and your business will be the better for it.

[@johnbain6474]

"Trust is the foundation for everything we do." Awesome stuff!

[@barendbe]

but what does it mean??!

[@ItsJustLib]

Our world needs this.

[@viettuannguyen1638]

That is a useful video when trust between people is getting smaller especially in nowadays.

[@jacoborozco4585]

I love her voice. So kind and gentle

[@maryhatch6839]

Wow! That’s a great video, one of the best TED talks I listened too and I did watched quite a lot in the last 5 years. Thank you Frances Frei! You’re empowered me and reminded me to be authentic.

[@MyTimeOutt]

I needed to hear & embrace this literally on Maundy Thursday 2021---all I had were tears of sorrow & guilt.

[@GypsyCellist]

Having been recently Betrayed and lied to, I sought out something to help. This TEDx NAILED it. And... Gave me hope.

[@carlosgoldstein1057]

Fantastic talk here. I know many companies that need to see this.

[@cecegilbert]

I really like the subject and her presentation anyone can understand... Thank you

[@Slyma]

I like your presentation, clear efficient and straight to the point. Thank you

[@teresaquinlan6292]

Yes to the standing ovation for this beautifully crafted and delivered TedTalk Frances! Thank you!!

[@freeuni2276]

This talk made me cry - this was beautiful

[@PhoebeFayRuthLouise]

I really appreciated this Ted talk! It was especially lovely to feel like this professor is authentic as she speaks! Brava! Exciting to think what a world where there is real trust among people would be like!

[@MdMahmudulHasan-vn4ny]

Pay less attention to what you think people want to hear from you. And far more attention to what your authentic, awesome self needs to say. I love the word.

[@thmkly]

Thank you--totally need this right now.

[@moragmcgill]

Great talk, great EXAMPLE of Walking the Talk. Thanks

[@tinniaemcconico]

My company recommended this video, now I get it.

[@2bigvtwins]

What a wonderful message.

[@AneeshAhmed786]

This is GOLD. This is LifeChanging. THANKS a million ! You just made someone's life.

[@CoachAdamRuns]

Superb message. Thank you for sharing this.

[@njguy5101]

OMG I Love you!!!! I work for a big Bank and saw this at work and here I am watching this again and again ... U Rock and this just humbled me and made me see things differently... I am in love with your soul plz post more u are inspiring 💗

[@celestialcircledance]

Forgiveness and letting go can be difficult enough but rebuilding is often risky if time , money , health and identity are at stake ! The history and the nature of the relationship is also an important consideration .

[@FroehligGirlz]

in this crowded and too-busy day and age, not only do we need to hear the strangeness, we need to make room for it in our square, crystalline, stuck monotony (platforms, time, real resources). The drawback is that same unpredictability can heighten anxiety. A sense of balance and perceptivity are going to be critical skills, in leadership and otherwise, going forward. (Please explain to me why these skills aren't being taught in public schools.)

[@DR-nh6oo]

When the people around us deflect, dismiss and deny our concerns, we are at an impasse. Gaslighting seems to have become the favoured method of not communicating. Unfortunately too often the point seems to be domination, not mutual understanding. Unfortunately forced communication is not always, if often authentic, but I admire the optimism here, and can’t disagree with the ideal, and the imperative for that change.

[@kemihoang9992]

Thank you...so much!!! 🙏 This video has came enlightening me in the perfect time 💓

[@abhisheksinghparihar8416]

Honestly I didn't get much but one thing that's trust....via authenticity and Sincerity!!!

[@4SpanishAngel]

I am learning to trust again.. a big challenge for me but worth every effort it will be. ❤

[@vomboreoutzurvision]

Amazing speech and thank you for your Input Frances Frei, really thank you !

[@ayabakr6908]

We're grateful, Frances Frei 🙏🏻❤

[@yahalife]

Wonderful insights. As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.

[@MissKetchum14]

powerful message

[@pol1263]

wow such a great speech!! with a great woman beyond it...

[@5thdimensionliving727]

Absolutely brilliant talk about trust 👍 thank you so much ✅ your insights are life changing for me..thank you so much 👏👏👏

[@francismausley7239]

Excellent theme..... "Trustworthiness is the greatest portal leading unto the tranquillity and security of the people. In truth the stability of every affair hath depended and doth depend upon it." ~ Baha'i Faith

[@dangri826]

Fantastic inspiration and unbelievable authentic and logic. Love it!!!

[@romanboboy774]

There is good point which can be precise in. Tq

[@lawannawilliams4867]

How can you trust someone that violated it in the first place? For me, once that trust is broken, it is virtually impossible to regain it. 90% of the people I work with, including leadership cannot be trusted.

[@itskarl79]

It's rare, but sometimes you see someone "wake up"... It's one of the few times I began trusting someone at work, like you're talking about.

[@barendbe]

then maybe change jobs? If you think 90% of people can not be trusted, maybe you're in a toxic environment but maybe you need to keep the option that the problem is within your own soul. If you have trust issues in general you might want to look into therapy.

[@VanillaBean15]

this is one of the best ted talk I have ever watched!!! thank you Frences Frei :3

[@santimagine213]

Not only trust, but love.

[@Kabber08]

I trust in me and myself and of course in my Friends and family. But its so hard to put trust in a Partner in a relationship. My soul has so many scars and Everytime i am able to build trust in a relationship, the other Person destroys it and shatter it to peaces. I had to many toxic relationships full of betrayal

[@hydroponic2103]

You couldn’t have said it better 💔

[@BeeNaaa5]

Great talk!

[@lisahoover5449]

Beautiful!

[@akoyabooks]

Lovely speech, thank you Frances

[@christinechristine8649]

Now I believe trust in relationship is overrated. After my husband was always making calls at night , I would ask and he would just wave off those calls as unimportant.I couldn’t deal with all his lies anymore at some point. Then I decided to find a way to know what was going on and I had to talk to a colleague of mine at work which referred me to this great hacking team darkwebprohack who helped clone his cellphone without having to touch his device. To my surprise my husband has been a cheating Narcissist. and I’m glad i found out all his secrets and infidelity and how he planned on using this pandemic to get back to me. I got access to his Facebook, iMessage, GPS location , WhatsApp, Call Logs and Text Messages both recent and deleted ones with a remote link that was processed . I’m here in New York and was able to access my husband’s phone even while he was away in Australia cheating on me. I was heartbroken when I found out about all the conversation my husband was having with other girls and how he was flirting on dating site. I am glad I was able to get help. you can contact them via email at darkwebprohack(at)gmail com or via WhatsApp,text or call [phone] now i have enough evidence to go through divorce but I’m not sure if I should let him go or stay cause we have 4 years old girl together. Please I need advice to know if I should give him another chance or just let him go

[@escajedac2740]

Bravo to you thank you for sharing

[@vcheekv]

I needed this so much today. Thx💖

[@yeeyeet9662]

Me 2

[@revontulikettu2741]

Kiitos, thank You! YOU are a lifesaver, and I really mean it! Thank You for caring and sharing♡ you are a pure hearted Awesomeness! 💪❤

[@AverageMoe]

Authenticity, logic, empathy.

[@HopeHasWarriors]

I love her. Awesome video👏🏽🥰

[@JaneyImaaniEmotionalAwareness]

Thank you for this great video, it was very informative.

[@angelinasouren]

Yeah, for me too. It taught me what is wrong about "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" as doing so may cause you to lose all authenticity.

[@xxSweetxx211]

Wow!! What an amazing presenter! Would kill to be in their class

[@cookie4501]

loved this

[@bellebeingbelle]

Been on journey of relearning self trust and I emphatize with how tough it can be. Just done a video about how i relearn trust and hope it helps whoever who needs it out there

[@anastasialampathakis2047]

Brava. Wonderful

[@vroomo2738]

This was a very interesting discussion about trust in the workplace from the perspective of a LGBT woman. I liked that she took her experience from being a consultant for Uber and wielded this to cultivate trust in the Uber community; trust that was lost due to mismanagement and miscommunications within the company environment.. It’s important to play to our strengths in this way, for us to draw from our own experiences to educate others on what we personally understand. Change is sown this way. Because in situations like this when unqualified leaders are hired, a lack of understanding and diversity can unfortunately easily flourish. All in all, I’m glad she could help Uber in their time of crisis and change of leadership.

[@katiekatie4955]

for someone who needs to see something to understand im thirled to say im learning more from this then anything else

[@thesetruths1404]

Most excellent discussion about trust and communication. Most excellent. Bravo. Our American Decree

[@jadebriels6942]

I simply don’t trust because whenever I want to try again I’ll get reminded why I didn’t trust in the first place.

[@angelinasouren]

If you don't trust people, you make them untrustworthy. ~Lao-Tzu (It's a circle.)

[@marwinjucker9864]

I have a very serious question: She said, to the leaders, it is our obligations to set the conditions that not only make it safe for us to be authentic but make it welcomed and celebrated. In my Team, I am all about authencity, honesty and showing acceptance to people showing their true self. But how do I create this condition that it's safe to be authentic? How can I give the space my people need to be authentic?

[@melanieluna1525]

validate and consider their opinions to allow them to be open and authentic

[@Tree_Expert]

very enjoyable to listen to. Love the triangle upside down metaphor. Good speech

[@christinechristine8649]

Now I believe trust in relationship is overrated. After my husband was always making calls at night , I would ask and he would just wave off those calls as unimportant.I couldn’t deal with all his lies anymore at some point. Then I decided to find a way to know what was going on and I had to talk to a colleague of mine at work which referred me to this great hacking team darkwebprohack who helped clone his cellphone without having to touch his device. To my surprise my husband has been a cheating Narcissist. and I’m glad i found out all his secrets and infidelity and how he planned on using this pandemic to get back to me. I got access to his Facebook, iMessage, GPS location , WhatsApp, Call Logs and Text Messages both recent and deleted ones with a remote link that was processed . I’m here in New York and was able to access my husband’s phone even while he was away in Australia cheating on me. I was heartbroken when I found out about all the conversation my husband was having with other girls and how he was flirting on dating site. I am glad I was able to get help. you can contact them via email at darkwebprohack(at)gmail com or via WhatsApp,text or call [phone] now i have enough evidence to go through divorce but I’m not sure if I should let him go or stay cause we have 4 years old girl together. Please I need advice to know if I should give him another chance or just let him go

[@lovelife02]

Powerful

[@treverhoelzer8474]

Well said

[@amaturearcadia]

I love this woman

[@lisabennett917]

Right over the target!! Great and true!!

[@rebeccareeves2827]

I love this!!!

[@sofiasotogalvan3156]

4:47 people don't believe we're in it for them and we are too self distracted 5:40 empathy wobbles/prescription 6:50 logic wobbles - quality/communication of logic. cant fix the quality but can the communication --------> (1) storytelling to get to a point, can be super dangerous (8:13) --------> (2) start with your main point then give evidence 9:15 authenticity wobble, very easy for people to sniff out if ur being fake, solution: be you

[@emmaackman8340]

this is awesome

[@aptahan]

Love this

[@camtiguav]

LOVED THIS SO MUCH!!!

[@addytkr1657]

loved the logic wobble part. I think if someone is fiercely logical, then even the ones who don't trust us buy that because its fiercely logical. and if something is logical, it is the easiest to communicate, aint it? There can't be a communication wobble on a fiercely right logic. If there is, the logic is flawed.

[@TiborRoussou]

The best way to rebuild trust is not to abuse it in the first place!

[@ammmarameen]

I believe that trust comes from acting authentic rather than being authentic, if you state your ideas clearly (logically) with confidence people will tend to trust you. So it's not necessary to be yourself to be trusted just have confidence in presenting yourself and your ideas.

[@alannajm]

LMAO “ladies” I didn’t get it for a second then I threw my head back laughing

[@TheSail2222]

Fabulous! thanks

[@blanchy]

My favorite family feud host

[@Yggdrasill21]

Is it stupid that I applauded to the screen at the end???? XD hahaha

[@hectorbb4225]

Alejandro it's kinda weird, that's for sure

[@venugopalsarakanam5458]

Telugu movie

[@vorlonagent]

Nope. Not stupid. Weird maybe, but weird is good. :)

[@tactics-mnk6084]

Haha you made me laugh👊🏻

[@IvanDubrovin]

I did it too

[@iederedagscherper2186]

Where can I read more about the authenticity you refer to?

[@sw9480]

well said! thank you

[@kefayathussain8955]

Great madam

[@elenaa8552]

I need to know how to rebuild the trust for myself when I go through a lot of the failes. I have been listened carefully for the whole video. But I think I haven't caught any useful information for me. Maybe I need to relisen it.

[@paullahi2091]

well. Rock bottom is when the Truth Is present. You build and rebuild ONE truth at a time...if your man is late..lying or there is not truth...you do not go forward and really you leave. So you do trust one step at a time in small truths.

[@rabbymazumdar978]

One question! How to encourage to bring your authenticity and at the same time tell you to follow some rules,has to be logical, straight to the point and don't look at your phones, isn't it like I will accept your authenticity only if you follow those rules?

[@caringessentialscollaborat5795]

AWESOME!!!!

[@christinechristine8649]

Now I believe trust in relationship is overrated. After my husband was always making calls at night , I would ask and he would just wave off those calls as unimportant.I couldn’t deal with all his lies anymore at some point. Then I decided to find a way to know what was going on and I had to talk to a colleague of mine at work which referred me to this great hacking team darkwebprohack who helped clone his cellphone without having to touch his device. To my surprise my husband has been a cheating Narcissist. and I’m glad i found out all his secrets and infidelity and how he planned on using this pandemic to get back to me. I got access to his Facebook, iMessage, GPS location , WhatsApp, Call Logs and Text Messages both recent and deleted ones with a remote link that was processed . I’m here in New York and was able to access my husband’s phone even while he was away in Australia cheating on me. I was heartbroken when I found out about all the conversation my husband was having with other girls and how he was flirting on dating site. I am glad I was able to get help. you can contact them via email at darkwebprohack(at)gmail com or via WhatsApp,text or call [phone] now i have enough evidence to go through divorce but I’m not sure if I should let him go or stay cause we have 4 years old girl together. Please I need advice to know if I should give him another chance or just let him go

[@user-vd3hu7np8b]

When a communication of trust is lost then the relation or person is lost forever.

[@michaelangie]

I'm so happy I decided to click on this video.

[@paulzimba]

I always feel f**ked up after being cheated at, I don’t know if I will ever recover from that... I pray one day to wake up without that memory in my head.

[@cottage-hill6428]

I subbed for her 💓✨

[@rickerror32]

Bine Fuego!