How to build (and rebuild) trust | Frances Frei

[@abcannoy]

Authenticity, Logic, Empathy = rebranding of ethos, logos, pathos

[@grebzlasmike]

A great comment - right on target

[@monikam.9893]

Spot on.

[@dickjohnson8636]

Now i have to find a youtube video on empathy

[@jzk2020]

Brand building ?

[@mikkey246]

Amen

[@thesetruths1404]

She said when we're around people who are "like" us it's easier to be our genuine selves. That is true, but so is this: they most often have to "like" you as well, to give you grace when miscommunication and stife happens. Our American Decree

[@giannagerster4431]

I revisit this talk fairly regularly. I was initially drawn to how warm and welcoming Frances appeared. I was met ten-fold. Her model is my teaching inspiration, as well as the pivotal asset to problem-solving some of my own relationships. Each listen brings something new, and I cling to each word she says. I cannot give high enough thanks to her.

[@johnhowe8424]

I needed to hear this and I think it’s something I’ll be checking out regularly too. I’ll see you again in a month lol

[@amyjkr]

My favorite trait is redemption too. I hope this goes viral.

[@MichaelBerthelsen]

I always experience that people HATE logic when it's not for them, but against them. People hate being told that they're wrong. And then they won't trust you because you don't agree with them all the time. People easily forget that everyone needs a 'mirror'...

[@edi9892]

Michael Berthelsen I'm a very rational person and noticed that people won't listen to reason, when they're too emotional. You can either play with their emotions (a tough skill to master) or wait until they calmed down. Regarding the latter: if someone is completely hot-headed, but you stay calm without trying to be right, just stating facts, some will see it more as a strength than if you fought back and might even realise that they were too harsh.

[@Paulapierotic]

People(including me writing this) tend to never like hearing the truth, because it’s one of the most difficult things to swallow, it is as hard as to be resilient. People tend to be very stubborn or prideful, it’s a state in which usually it’s a great challenge to surpass

[@Paulapierotic]

Of course this is more likely to happen when people get or are already too emotional in the moment, as edi person said, which makes it less convenient to tell the truth all the time

[@ethanmoon3925]

In the terms of the TED talk, perhaps it's not logic that's lacking here it's empathy. They might trust you to be logical and competent, but not trust that you understand them and won't use your intelligence to attack them.

[@she_sings_delightful_things]

Wonderful comment. Also the comments that followed were super interesting.

[@megatron4550]

she’s such a beautiful soul

[@tuyenho5004]

yes..very beautiful

[@Paulapierotic]

Indeed ❤️

[@nancycardenuto426]

After reflection, I realize that I need to rebuild and strengthen trust in myself as well as with others. Rigorous logic, empathy directed toward the other, and authenticity builds self love and trust within myself as well. Beautiful!

[@seanc.6470]

I appreciate her delivery... Her tone was calming... Great speech!

[@peterchristian5886]

We need to build trust with others. Sometimes it will be violated. So we must be vigilant and pick out those we cannot or will never trust. That's life. But there are many good people out there that we can. Find them and build a great relationship. You and your business will be the better for it.

[@loricrockett-owens5117]

What people don't understand or maybe they don't care to understand is that sometimes trust takes years to rebuild. It's like kicking a lion then wanting a hug.

[@rodsup3934]

Such a good analogy

[@ta2francis]

Trust is a wire made up of different feelings and values from two human beings. If it's broken, it can be joined back, but it can never be the same again..

[@imjoolia]

As a wise man once said “never say never”. On a serious note, trust can be rebuilt if you see dramatic change with empathy and authenticity as it’s foundation.

[@bttlmarc5125]

@@imjoolia can it be the same tho ?

[@bttlmarc5125]

@@imjoolia and if you already answered that then sorry I'm slow

[@imjoolia]

criptix_ Marc honestly speaking, it depends on what you mean as the same... I’m only pointing this out because my current partner and I have trust issues, but also we’ve only known each other for around two years out of our whole lives. We do not know each others habits. Also keep in mind; habits can be broken if the person is strong enough. You just have to pay attention to how they act and judge based off of that and your knowledge. Don’t just judge because of what you think because your thoughts aren’t always correct. I struggle with this always, but I know my work towards judging based off of true reality and not my emotions is best!!! Hope I helped!

[@bttlmarc5125]

@@imjoolia thank you

[@LiddyOliveira]

Wow! That's a great lecture. Congratulations Frances Frei! Impactful, profound and at the same time simple to understand.

[@svm8419]

just when i lost trust. TED uploaded this video. Never had i needed this video the most. Thank you.

[@maryhatch6839]

Wow! That’s a great video, one of the best TED talks I listened too and I did watched quite a lot in the last 5 years. Thank you Frances Frei! You’re empowered me and reminded me to be authentic.

[@johnbain6474]

"Trust is the foundation for everything we do." Awesome stuff!

[@barendbe]

but what does it mean??!

[@DR-nh6oo]

When the people around us deflect, dismiss and deny our concerns, we are at an impasse. Gaslighting seems to have become the favoured method of not communicating. Unfortunately too often the point seems to be domination, not mutual understanding. Unfortunately forced communication is not always, if often authentic, but I admire the optimism here, and can’t disagree with the ideal, and the imperative for that change.

[@jacoborozco4585]

I love her voice. So kind and gentle

[@freeuni2276]

This talk made me cry - this was beautiful

[@ItsJustLib]

Our world needs this.

[@viettuannguyen1638]

That is a useful video when trust between people is getting smaller especially in nowadays.

[@GypsyCellist]

Having been recently Betrayed and lied to, I sought out something to help. This TEDx NAILED it. And... Gave me hope.

[@MdMahmudulHasan-vn4ny]

Pay less attention to what you think people want to hear from you. And far more attention to what your authentic, awesome self needs to say. I love the word.

[@MyTimeOutt]

I needed to hear & embrace this literally on Maundy Thursday 2021---all I had were tears of sorrow & guilt.

[@MikkAcco]

Simplesmente meu TED favorito há anos! Revisitando ❤

[@clairegarcia7286]

"And if you're cut off before you finish...ladies?"

[@miller5170]

Start with the point lol

[@4SpanishAngel]

I am learning to trust again.. a big challenge for me but worth every effort it will be. ❤

[@celestialcircledance]

Forgiveness and letting go can be difficult enough but rebuilding is often risky if time , money , health and identity are at stake ! The history and the nature of the relationship is also an important consideration .

[@tinniaemcconico]

My company recommended this video, now I get it.

[@francismausley7239]

Excellent theme..... "Trustworthiness is the greatest portal leading unto the tranquillity and security of the people. In truth the stability of every affair hath depended and doth depend upon it." ~ Baha'i Faith

[@PhoebeFayRuthLouise]

I really appreciated this Ted talk! It was especially lovely to feel like this professor is authentic as she speaks! Brava! Exciting to think what a world where there is real trust among people would be like!

[@cecegilbert]

I really like the subject and her presentation anyone can understand... Thank you

[@njguy5101]

OMG I Love you!!!! I work for a big Bank and saw this at work and here I am watching this again and again ... U Rock and this just humbled me and made me see things differently... I am in love with your soul plz post more u are inspiring 💗

[@FroehligGirlz]

in this crowded and too-busy day and age, not only do we need to hear the strangeness, we need to make room for it in our square, crystalline, stuck monotony (platforms, time, real resources). The drawback is that same unpredictability can heighten anxiety. A sense of balance and perceptivity are going to be critical skills, in leadership and otherwise, going forward. (Please explain to me why these skills aren't being taught in public schools.)

[@moragmcgill]

Great talk, great EXAMPLE of Walking the Talk. Thanks

[@carlosgoldstein1057]

Fantastic talk here. I know many companies that need to see this.

[@AneeshAhmed786]

This is GOLD. This is LifeChanging. THANKS a million ! You just made someone's life.

[@Slyma]

I like your presentation, clear efficient and straight to the point. Thank you

[@lawannawilliams4867]

How can you trust someone that violated it in the first place? For me, once that trust is broken, it is virtually impossible to regain it. 90% of the people I work with, including leadership cannot be trusted.

[@itskarl79]

It's rare, but sometimes you see someone "wake up"... It's one of the few times I began trusting someone at work, like you're talking about.

[@barendbe]

then maybe change jobs? If you think 90% of people can not be trusted, maybe you're in a toxic environment but maybe you need to keep the option that the problem is within your own soul. If you have trust issues in general you might want to look into therapy.

[@vroomo2738]

This was a very interesting discussion about trust in the workplace from the perspective of a LGBT woman. I liked that she took her experience from being a consultant for Uber and wielded this to cultivate trust in the Uber community; trust that was lost due to mismanagement and miscommunications within the company environment.. It’s important to play to our strengths in this way, for us to draw from our own experiences to educate others on what we personally understand. Change is sown this way. Because in situations like this when unqualified leaders are hired, a lack of understanding and diversity can unfortunately easily flourish. All in all, I’m glad she could help Uber in their time of crisis and change of leadership.

[@vomboreoutzurvision]

Amazing speech and thank you for your Input Frances Frei, really thank you !

[@teresaquinlan6292]

Yes to the standing ovation for this beautifully crafted and delivered TedTalk Frances! Thank you!!

[@Arya-78-g4u]

We're grateful, Frances Frei 🙏🏻❤

[@AbhishekSinghParihar2]

Honestly I didn't get much but one thing that's trust....via authenticity and Sincerity!!!

[@yahalife]

Wonderful insights. As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.

[@marwinjucker9864]

I have a very serious question: She said, to the leaders, it is our obligations to set the conditions that not only make it safe for us to be authentic but make it welcomed and celebrated. In my Team, I am all about authencity, honesty and showing acceptance to people showing their true self. But how do I create this condition that it's safe to be authentic? How can I give the space my people need to be authentic?

[@melanieluna1525]

validate and consider their opinions to allow them to be open and authentic

[@Kabber08]

I trust in me and myself and of course in my Friends and family. But its so hard to put trust in a Partner in a relationship. My soul has so many scars and Everytime i am able to build trust in a relationship, the other Person destroys it and shatter it to peaces. I had to many toxic relationships full of betrayal

[@hydroponic2103]

You couldn’t have said it better 💔

[@michalhalpern7491]

Shalom from Israel. Your advices shook my world. TNX

[@5thdimensionliving727]

Absolutely brilliant talk about trust 👍 thank you so much ✅ your insights are life changing for me..thank you so much 👏👏👏

[@revontulikettu2741]

Kiitos, thank You! YOU are a lifesaver, and I really mean it! Thank You for caring and sharing♡ you are a pure hearted Awesomeness! 💪❤

[@iederedagscherper2186]

Where can I read more about the authenticity you refer to?

[@alannajm]

LMAO “ladies” I didn’t get it for a second then I threw my head back laughing

[@VanillaBean15]

this is one of the best ted talk I have ever watched!!! thank you Frences Frei :3

[@dangri826]

Fantastic inspiration and unbelievable authentic and logic. Love it!!!

[@TiborRoussou]

The best way to rebuild trust is not to abuse it in the first place!

[@AverageMoe]

Authenticity, logic, empathy.

[@zoyamaverick6013]

“It is much easier to coach people how to fit in & reward people for saying something you were wanting to say as to rewarding people who say something entirely different to what you were going to say”

[@akoyabooks]

Lovely speech, thank you Frances

[@christinechristine8649]

Now I believe trust in relationship is overrated. After my husband was always making calls at night , I would ask and he would just wave off those calls as unimportant.I couldn’t deal with all his lies anymore at some point. Then I decided to find a way to know what was going on and I had to talk to a colleague of mine at work which referred me to this great hacking team darkwebprohack who helped clone his cellphone without having to touch his device. To my surprise my husband has been a cheating Narcissist. and I’m glad i found out all his secrets and infidelity and how he planned on using this pandemic to get back to me. I got access to his Facebook, iMessage, GPS location , WhatsApp, Call Logs and Text Messages both recent and deleted ones with a remote link that was processed . I’m here in New York and was able to access my husband’s phone even while he was away in Australia cheating on me. I was heartbroken when I found out about all the conversation my husband was having with other girls and how he was flirting on dating site. I am glad I was able to get help. you can contact them via email at darkwebprohack(at)gmail com or via WhatsApp,text or call [phone] now i have enough evidence to go through divorce but I’m not sure if I should let him go or stay cause we have 4 years old girl together. Please I need advice to know if I should give him another chance or just let him go

[@ammmarameen]

I believe that trust comes from acting authentic rather than being authentic, if you state your ideas clearly (logically) with confidence people will tend to trust you. So it's not necessary to be yourself to be trusted just have confidence in presenting yourself and your ideas.

[@elenaa8552]

I need to know how to rebuild the trust for myself when I go through a lot of the failes. I have been listened carefully for the whole video. But I think I haven't caught any useful information for me. Maybe I need to relisen it.

[@paullahi2091]

well. Rock bottom is when the Truth Is present. You build and rebuild ONE truth at a time...if your man is late..lying or there is not truth...you do not go forward and really you leave. So you do trust one step at a time in small truths.

[@sofiasotogalvan3156]

4:47 people don't believe we're in it for them and we are too self distracted 5:40 empathy wobbles/prescription 6:50 logic wobbles - quality/communication of logic. cant fix the quality but can the communication --------> (1) storytelling to get to a point, can be super dangerous (8:13) --------> (2) start with your main point then give evidence 9:15 authenticity wobble, very easy for people to sniff out if ur being fake, solution: be you

[@thmkly]

Thank you--totally need this right now.

[@Tree_Expert]

very enjoyable to listen to. Love the triangle upside down metaphor. Good speech

[@christinechristine8649]

Now I believe trust in relationship is overrated. After my husband was always making calls at night , I would ask and he would just wave off those calls as unimportant.I couldn’t deal with all his lies anymore at some point. Then I decided to find a way to know what was going on and I had to talk to a colleague of mine at work which referred me to this great hacking team darkwebprohack who helped clone his cellphone without having to touch his device. To my surprise my husband has been a cheating Narcissist. and I’m glad i found out all his secrets and infidelity and how he planned on using this pandemic to get back to me. I got access to his Facebook, iMessage, GPS location , WhatsApp, Call Logs and Text Messages both recent and deleted ones with a remote link that was processed . I’m here in New York and was able to access my husband’s phone even while he was away in Australia cheating on me. I was heartbroken when I found out about all the conversation my husband was having with other girls and how he was flirting on dating site. I am glad I was able to get help. you can contact them via email at darkwebprohack(at)gmail com or via WhatsApp,text or call [phone] now i have enough evidence to go through divorce but I’m not sure if I should let him go or stay cause we have 4 years old girl together. Please I need advice to know if I should give him another chance or just let him go

[@pol1263]

wow such a great speech!! with a great woman beyond it...

[@romanboboy774]

There is good point which can be precise in. Tq

[@thesetruths1404]

Most excellent discussion about trust and communication. Most excellent. Bravo. Our American Decree

[@bellebeingbelle]

Been on journey of relearning self trust and I emphatize with how tough it can be. Just done a video about how i relearn trust and hope it helps whoever who needs it out there

[@xxSweetxx211]

Wow!! What an amazing presenter! Would kill to be in their class

[@santimagine]

Not only trust, but love.

[@vcheekv]

I needed this so much today. Thx💖

[@yeeyeet9662]

Me 2

[@HopeHasWarriors]

I love her. Awesome video👏🏽🥰

[@joewiz]

What does the phrase mean from 5:10? "For Dylan to be Dylan, that takes real time." It's in the context of her discussion on empathy. I assume it's a reference to Bob Dylan, but what does this mean?

[@julielewis6802]

What does “you are likely to offer your distraction” mean? 5:35

[@rabbymazumdar978]

One question! How to encourage to bring your authenticity and at the same time tell you to follow some rules,has to be logical, straight to the point and don't look at your phones, isn't it like I will accept your authenticity only if you follow those rules?

[@kemihoang9992]

Thank you...so much!!! 🙏 This video has came enlightening me in the perfect time 💓

[@addytkr1657]

loved the logic wobble part. I think if someone is fiercely logical, then even the ones who don't trust us buy that because its fiercely logical. and if something is logical, it is the easiest to communicate, aint it? There can't be a communication wobble on a fiercely right logic. If there is, the logic is flawed.

[@JaneyImaaniEmotionalAwareness]

Thank you for this great video, it was very informative.

[@I-talk-about-tough-topics]

Yeah, for me too. It taught me what is wrong about "When in Rome, do as the Romans do" as doing so may cause you to lose all authenticity.

[@2bigvtwins]

What a wonderful message.

[@MissKetchum14]

powerful message

[@razorfisher3123]

Barbara Minto's Pyramid Principle was not attributed in the presentation or in the description

[@blanchy]

My favorite family feud host

[@paulzimba]

I always feel f**ked up after being cheated at, I don’t know if I will ever recover from that... I pray one day to wake up without that memory in my head.

[@katiekatie4955]

for someone who needs to see something to understand im thirled to say im learning more from this then anything else

[@BeeNaaa5]

Great talk!

[@amaturearcadia]

I love this woman

[@escajedac2740]

Bravo to you thank you for sharing

[@CoachAdamFit]

Superb message. Thank you for sharing this.

[@ozgesahin4793]

this, is amazing

[@cookie4501]

loved this

[@lisahoover5449]

Beautiful!

[@emmaackman8340]

this is awesome

[@lisabennett917]

Right over the target!! Great and true!!

[@mississippideltamedicine5325]

Trust once broken can never be restored. It's a limb that doesn't regrow.

[@TheSail2222]

Fabulous! thanks

[@treverhoelzer8474]

Well said

[@kevinhagberg1648]

Louie Anderson looks great!

[@rajavijayach]

Summary Trust is the foundation for everything we do. There are three components of trust: authenticity, logic, and empathy. When any of these three components are missing, trust is threatened. The most common wobble is empathy. People often don't believe that we are in it for them and that we are too self-distracted. The prescription for empathy is to identify where, when, and to whom you are likely to withhold your empathy and then come up with a trigger that gets you to look up, listen deeply, and immerse yourself in their perspectives. Logic wobbles can come in two forms: the quality of your logic or your ability to communicate the logic. The prescription for logic is to start with your point in a crisp half sentence and then give your supporting evidence. Authenticity is the most vexing wobble. The prescription is to be you and to wear whatever makes you feel fabulous.

[@onepercentruleeveryday]

building great relationships is the key to an amazing networking. And, networking is the key to finding the right people who you can help out, and who can help you in return!:)

[@lovelife02]

Powerful

[@Michaelangie]

I'm so happy I decided to click on this video.

[@Yggdrasill21]

Is it stupid that I applauded to the screen at the end???? XD hahaha

[@hectorbb4225]

Alejandro it's kinda weird, that's for sure

[@venugopalsarakanam5458]

Telugu movie

[@vorlonagent]

Nope. Not stupid. Weird maybe, but weird is good. :)

[@tactics-mnk6084]

Haha you made me laugh👊🏻

[@IvanDubrovin]

I did it too