How to Drive a Narcissist Crazy

[@yukio_saito]

Arguments with them get nowhere. It's a huge waste of time and energy.

[@Hatbox948]

I can vouch for that. You'll just go in circles with them always trying to unsuccessfully defend yourself.

[@yukio_saito]

@@Hatbox948 So true. You will just get into an infinite loop.

[@yolondasmith6415]

That is the truth for sure 👍

[@Crashesdown253]

Omg Yes all the logic and patience in the world is no match for the delusion that their viewpoint and demands are right and correct. It is never anything but.

[@こなた-m1o]

@@Crashesdown253exactly. i wish someone confirmed to me as a child that my experience of them was not my fault for not saying the right thing or being smart enough. it was just that they had a fucking personality disorder and were horrible parents.

[@mallorykreiger]

“Beyond that, there’s no need for you to justify who you are, they’re NOT listening anyway” 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 thank you Dr. C ❤

[@Hatbox948]

So true too!

[@mallorykreiger]

@@Hatbox948 I wish I knew this a decade ago! So grateful for Dr. C ❤️

[@ClaireGraceMarshall-jr5mm]

Commonsense I love it, thankyou🙂

[@Hatbox948]

@@mallorykreiger Me too! I thought narcissism was just an over inflated ego. When I finally learned what it really is, it explained everything I was going through.

[@rosemoreno6249]

Amén! Amén! Amén! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[@fredfred4086]

"Don't jump into their mudhole" Words of wisdom.

[@WildBillHickums]

Based, sexually as well 😂

[@Gigi-gz3fd]

“I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it.” G. B. Shaw

[@vanessajohnson6077]

😂😂😅😅😊 ❤️ ❤️❤️🌹🙏🏾 AMEN

[@daleszabo5032]

How true, thank you for the reminder.

[@jovannacorrea8262]

😮😮😮 SO GOOD!

[@pamelaranney6631]

Thank you! Finished wrestling with the pig and now busy scraping the mud off! LOL

[@roxymovie3938]

"The wrong one will find you in peace and leave you in pieces. The right one will find you in pieces and lead you to peace."

[@karenk2409]

Excellent advice. Also, be that right one for your partner. If both of you are the right one, you have gold.

[@elcee7800]

@@karenk2409 Not if they’re a narcissist I won’t!

[@karenk2409]

@@elcee7800 Absolutely not! I had one of those - being loving to them is delivering yourself to slaughter.

[@roxymovie3938]

@@karenk2409 Thank you, Karen, for your kind response 🙏 And yes, that would be gold but therefore both have to be quite healthy and mature.

[@roxymovie3938]

@@elcee7800 When they are a Narc, they will leave you in pieces, so they will never be the right one.

[@mikepatrick8017]

NEVER LET A NARCISSIST STEAL YOUR JOY! YOU ARE A CHILD OF THE MOST HIGH GOD AND HE HAS THE BEST PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE!!

[@Enoughalready20237]

🙌🙌🙌🙌🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 This is SO hard to remember

[@rg-mi5hh]

When they keep provoking, won't leave you alone to have any peace, keep crossing boundaries...I have prayed until I am blue and it doesn't change them. One right now going at it.

[@gabriellegilbert5239]

@@rg-mi5hh I Believe its a form of POSSESSION 👹🤡💩 🤌💫🗯🕳💨💯👋👌🤌🖖✊️🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🐞🌺🐞

[@fotogal54]

❤ Amen!

[@fotogal54]

@@rg-mi5hh thumbs down that you are still there. I tried for years to believe they'd change... only after leaving did I clearly see: they DO NOT WANT TO CHANGE. And they won't. I moved on and ENJOY my life again. Bless you, and I pray you will find peace. ❤

[@johntuohy1867]

Its your character they will try to damage and destroy. Your value is not based on their inability to recognize your worth.

[@Joe-hf3cn]

Double negative ,, should read “…based on their ability….” Encompasses the fact they have little ability to judge your worth. Yes, I got grammatical issues😅

[@MelYo-pg5qu]

Truth!

[@Skyblue-js4th]

​​@@Joe-hf3cn I think it's written correctly, actually. The narc is UNable to recognise your worth, but that does not define your value, so you shouldn't let their bad treatment of you redefine you as worthless. If it was written as "ability", that would sound as though the narc WAS able to recognise your worth. Facts matter! 😅 The alternative meaning of being hurt that they do not, and this inability being the thing that hurts you, is not the meaning of the sentence, imo. I mean, you don't recover your value by staying around them to make them value you, although that could be very satisfying. But I don't think it's the point the OP was making. Rather, that it doesn't matter that they don't value you. You have intrinsic value either way. I've thought about this so long it's making my brain hurt now 😂 and I don't even know if I make sense to myself anymore.😅

[@TheSafetySmith]

Never let a person like this rent space in your head and heart

[@karenfisher4170]

“They’re not listening anyway.” 💯

[@notaclue822]

No except for anything they can use.

[@Njoynlife]

I came to say this! I’m making a sign.

[@grandlaphi]

Thank you!!

[@Gibbon420]

It really feels like the more you try to move on and be happy, the more they try to shove you back down

[@karenk2409]

Of course! That is why the only solution to sanity, safety, and peace is NO CONTACT FOREVER!

[@Tanner-yn6uk]

Yes, they will say " I don't care how you feel , just do it my way ".

[@amandaa3713]

@salmon Narcs have malicious envy.

[@amandaa3713]

​@d0v3Tai1 AGREED.

[@janetstephens9563]

Never give up regaining your joy! God bless you! ❤️🙏🏼❤️

[@tenningale]

Another aspect to this is just not giving them any personal information to weaponize against you. It makes what he's saying so much easier. And not caring what other people think is a superpower.

[@elainebines6803]

I totally agree. My mantra is 'your opinion of me is none of my buisness' 😊

[@juliewhyte122]

They don’t need any personal information about you. My own personal experience with them, is they make up lies about you anyway.

[@tenningale]

@@juliewhyte122 100%. With my narc mom, now I'm cold, distant, evasive, bad social skills, etc. They trash you behind your back, smear campaigns. Can't win with a narcissist. But at least I'm not giving any fodder.

[@sabrinamystified]

@@juliewhyte122 don't worry. God will protect you from malicious people like narcs and their little games they play to stay in control, and their character assassinations of others. No matter what they do, they won't win at the end.

[@daleszabo5032]

My Mother was same way. I did not know that she was not happy to see me, ever. We hope narcissists do better in the spirit world than they did alive with us. In the afterlife they will be on equal footing as everyone else. Makes me sad for them.

[@jewishgirl1581]

"They're not the ultimate arbitrators of truth" 💯

[@GeorgiaJakes7]

I was always accused of starting fights. It took me years to realize that he considered a fight anytime I held a different opinion or wanted something different than he did. He’s told my kids and everyone around that I started all the fights. Now, when I hear this I proudly say yes I did. I wasn’t his slave and I had my own opinions. It’s not a fight to think for yourself.

[@worldupsidedown1]

They most certainly are “task masters.” Like they’re the parent figure & you’re the child. Perfect description.

[@richardlandis793]

They will even admit that.

[@lijohnyoutube101]

I think sometimes for sure but also some people are just lazy and force people to be task masters as they just don’t pull their weight.

[@worldupsidedown1]

@@lijohnyoutube101 Naw, we're talking about bullying and overlording, that's always unacceptable.

[@yazajag]

Yep even though they are the ones behaving like an adult toddler emotionally.

[@LostNFound432]

I feel like both his mother("take care of me") AND his child("do as I say"), but never an actual equal or partner.

[@franciscocardenas5758]

These are all excellent takeaways. To to me fear the the narcissists intills in you is the most destructive to ones quality of life. You become afraid of the narcissist, you become afraid of the life, you become afraid of going out on your own. Fear, it is a killer.

[@michignamymichigan]

And, we are worth the time we need to heal and grow. We are worth every effort we take for ourselves. Be you. 🧡

[@nancytwigg4631]

Exactly. Well put.

[@worldupsidedown1]

Yes, the fear they instill is huge. Got to learn to not be intimidated.

[@eurokay4755]

It took me a long, long time to figure out why my mother was so hostile to and about any friendships I formed, especially after I left home and was living on my own. She became visibly irritated and agitated any time I would talk about them. For years, I thought I was just talking too much about myself. Today, as a parent of 2 almost-30 year olds, I'm so happy and proud that my children's friends welcome us "old folks" to their celebrations and enjoy coming to our home when they're in town. Love expands your world exponentially.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

That last sentence...precisely!

[@Datsail]

Once you see them for exactly what they are its really easy.

[@IzabelaWaniek-i1x]

Spot on dr Carter. Be your authentic self, live your life as a free person, don’t be intimidated by their crazy BS. Walk away from their narcissistic nonsense.

[@ceciliahink6611]

Thankyou, Your a wonderful Dr. Better than my Dr. PLEASE CONTINUE HELPING ME AS MUCH AS YOU CARE TO.I HAVE NO ONE NO ONE LEFT TO CONSULT!!! THE BOYFRIEND I HAD WHO PROPOSED MARRIAGE AND THEN WITOUT EXPLANATION MOVED OUT OF MY PLACE.TELLING ME LATER,HE COULDN'T DEAL WITH MY NEGATIVITY!!! NOW

[@ceciliahink6611]

Now , he's in love with me AGAIN AND IS TRYING FOR FRIENDSHIP. IT'S EASY TO GO FROM FRIENDS TO A COUPLE,THAN COUPLE BACK TO FRIENDS!!!

[@DirkvandeMolenbeauxarts]

Thanks so much.....and leaving that person, I feel great. Mieke van de Molen

[@jalawialotaibi6639]

it is so exhausting when you’re forced to live with them in the same house 😔

[@Xenlacasa45]

Just focus on cleaning the home maybe washing the dishes etc put some music on you set the tone of the home. When your so busy cleaning you'll forget about them or whatever they last said

[@gail.r.4604]

Yes, it is! That house is Never big enough, to escape. I could feel the hate and anger through the floor. I hope you can escape.... YOU are worth it.

[@Influential1blis]

@@Xenlacasa45 thank you.But no, you don't want to make their life easier as a matter of fact you want to make it harder

[@Xenlacasa45]

@@Influential1blis how so? If I don't clean nobody cleans. Narcs are dirty people.

[@nancytwigg4631]

"Don't jump into their MUDHOLE, ok?" "Don't buy into their BS!" "Your character is everything!" "Be you." Don't lose who you are and meld into who they are or their delusions. Each and every direction....a live saving mantra....repeat, repeat, loop this one and you'll avoid going loopie!!😂❤ Thank you, Dr. C. You are fire! Keep burning for us. Such warmth, love it.

[@kevinhaggerty3007]

Well said ! Anyone who is full of themselves should just be ignored

[@deborraholiveri6202]

I never rver stopped being who I am. Im confident, resilient, kind, and i stand in my truth. Thats why i was discarded and replaced.

[@danarchambault8723]

They are already nuts , get the hell away from them

[@katalinpuscas9722]

😂omg this is so true. Very good advice

[@RavensAchilles513]

If only it was as easy as saying I'm going to get away from him...

[@Black_Wolf_XY]

Walking away/ignoring them is one of the best tactics. I appreciate the "they aren't listening anyways" bit. That is going to help me out.

[@Marilyn-zv6mt]

Just treat them like their don't exist, their can't handle being ignored

[@proverbs2522]

Something I find funny now that I’ve gone no contact for a few months and I’m learning about the games he played is when I was grey rocking him or just not arguing with him he would try and guilt trip me by saying I don’t care about him or anything since I’m not willing to talk about things. He actually wanted me to feel bad for not letting him criticize me and call me names and yell at me for anything and everything he could come up with. I don’t care about anything because I don’t want to argue. Now that I know what he was doing to me I can clearly see the manipulation at play. He’s gone and I’m so grateful. I give all the credit to the LORD because He saved me from that closet monster on top of saving my soul.

[@janicepaul9957]

By don’t speak too quick from a person that knows they always come back they never leave and just when you think they did to come back

[@janicepaul9957]

What I meant was they’ll come back when you think they’re gone. They show up when you least expect it.

[@Lexi_Con]

So glad you're out of that situation. So toxic, damages self esteem & makes you question your memory & reasoning skills, principles, & even sanity. I've been there. He went Jeckyll/Hyde after posing as a friend & good person for 10+ yrs.

[@LadyVandMrT]

I'm not saying this was the case here, but sometimes the one who refuses to argue is the narcissist. An argument to one person is sharing their feelings and seeking resolution to another. You have to be willing to let people have feelings in front of you sometimes. I hear my mom say "I wasn't going to talk about it because I wasn't going to argue" and accuse others of calling her names, and she is unarguably the narc playing the victim.

[@tailsthefox6568]

I feel the same! Your right about God rescuing because these type of people are great pretenders! The closer you get to the the more you see the claws and fangs! Ewh!

[@keyanderson6518]

Finally❤. Someone who knows what he's talking about!

[@zareththealchemist8982]

Driving a narcissist crazy is a very short trip.

[@kathismith2865]

Classic ‼️

[@PatriciaCrump-jb6xy]

Yep! From his house to mine.😊

[@terrysiave9996]

@@kathismith2865 LOL

[@gregorystinette8271]

Good advice

[@MM-xh6dp]

It’s kinda funny once you see.

[@BaraSchmidt]

When you are with a narcissistic individual, the only freedom you have is to follow THEIR commands! Know Better, Live Better, Stay Healthy! Thank you Dr C!

[@Niko-xz5lk]

This is great advice provided you don't live with them. When you live with a true narcissist, they will find a way to get to you. If you're human you will break and that's a fact. Narcissists know that you will break eventually and it's almost impossible to go on under their pressure without giving in. The only real solution is to get out before it destroys you completely. It's not easy, but there's usually a way and it comes about, especially if you've got a loved one who cares about you. I got out 2 years ago, and I'm doing well one day at a time.

[@Isabelmaryj]

Well said. Strength is needed to leave and then you become even more truly who you are.

[@Xenlacasa45]

I been dealing with a narc for 7 years and before that I dealt with family narcs and parent narcs all my life. The key when your almost about to break is to redirect that's energy into cleaning the home maybe wash the dishes just work on something that's needs to be done that gives the home better energy. You'll be so busy you forget what the narc pissed you off about and you don't give them the reaction they wanted

[@Niko-xz5lk]

@Xenlacasa45 A real narc will stop at nothing to destroy you mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. If they catch you trying to do something to ignore them they will either ask you to do something or wait and get you after. There's no time off and no way out. Just get out while you still can.

[@Xenlacasa45]

@@Niko-xz5lk well the stuff I do needs to be done because they are dirty and don't clean at all. I'm not doing it to ignore them but to keep myself busy and not thinking about the last stupid thing they said

[@Xenlacasa45]

@@Niko-xz5lk and whenever they ask me to do something I just say no or keep my headphones on. Setting firm boundaries they can't break shit

[@aysenuri2419]

The number of times I’ve told my mom “ you are you and I am me” is insane. It’s like they can’t see others as individuals separate.

[@Celisarei]

“There’s no need for you to justify who you are, they aren’t listening anyway.” 👏👏👏 I spent way too long trying to tell him that all the things he made up about me weren’t me and it just got him more angry and explosive as he doubled down. They aren’t listening. They are living something out in their head and they assigned a character to you, but you will never be able to wield that character or make any conscious choices with it- it will be whatever they say it will be. None of this ever has anything to do with you or who you actually are

[@TrixieMoe]

I have lived with this for years. It is almost enough to drive the person dealing with this crazy.

[@jeanlaubenthal698]

Get up early and spend time centering yourself with your goals and a healthy self care plan …for the day.

[@kylie_joe]

I've found responding "lol" to every text or email is pretty triggering for them. And satisfying for me.

[@DebbieDavis-d6e]

Bingo! "Dont jump into their mud hole"! And I'm not going to let them be MY taskmaster! Thank you!

[@janicepaul9957]

About 50 years of living in this insanity with the narcissist, I one day said to God oh God help me he causes me to lose my peace and it just seemed like overnight things changed. It’s been wonderful.

[@monicahocking1507]

In what way did things change.

[@Isabela2024-yr]

I agree 100%. That's what I do. I can see he look miserable. He want to gaslight me but I left the room. Do something else upstairs or to my garden. If he is eating himself alone, I don't care. He's doing it to himself. I know, he's looking for another supply but I don't care anymore too. I hope he leaves soon peacefully. That would be great. Thank you Sir for the advice. May God bless you for helping people who are going through narcissistic relationship. I hope they're watching to get a clue. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️❤️❤️

[@kevinn2216]

I don't usually listen to shorts because they're a waste of time but for Dr. C I'll bend that rule. Some great nuggets of info here.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

That makes me smile.

[@Eliza_sun]

The longer that you engage, the more insane you’ll feel. Even keeping them at an arms distance is futile. The absolute worst is attempting to co-parent. It’s awful.

[@hunterluxton5976]

SUperb advice, and so true! I REFUSED to play a friend's bullshit game. He went mental. I kept challenging his dillusional reality

[@incognito595]

Yes! To All of what this lovely helpful man says! She Coerced and lied to me, I made the mistake of TRUSTING HER. NOW, I have only A FRACTION OF MY LIFE SAVINGS LEFT! YES. IT'S ALL ABOUT DECEIT. MY NEXT STEP IS INFORMING ALL OF THE AUTHORITIES AND SUING HER ASS!

[@yzolakitchi]

It would be great if every parent who finds this in their feed could share with their kids. if 25 years ago, someone had explained this to me - I would have got out of a seriously messed up abusive relationship within a couple of months - not the years I stayed, and as you say, got completely lost in who I was. This is a conversation topic for all teens and adults alike. Thank you :-)

[@oOIIIMIIIOo]

My experience is that people don't want to listen anyway. Everyone has their own journey.

[@INFJ2]

There will be no accountability or responsibility for anything. Don't ever expect an apology..ever

[@expansionist93]

“Your character is everything so hold on to that” thank you!

[@richardlandis793]

ALSO WHEN WALKING AWAY FROM THEIR RANTS, AND THEY SAY "ARE YOU IGNORING ME?" SIMPLY SAY "I'M TRYING." 😊 (PERSONAL EXPERIENCE) 😊

[@greenjewel509]

@@richardlandis793 Also, if on the receiving end of the silent treatment, ignore them for a little while and then say " If you've got a throat infection, there's some aspirin in the cupboard".

[@Xenlacasa45]

​@@greenjewel509I find it it works best to just watch something funny and laugh really loudly it makes them feel weak 😂

[@MythsScamsLies]

Both of my parents were over the top narcissists and I was just another piece of "equipment" at their disposal, to generate income and status in the community. What I wanted to do, how I wanted to live my life, were simply irrelevant to them. I knew at a very early age that I needed to disappear and never go back. Even with that knowledge, it took me decades to scrape them off.

[@こなた-m1o]

same oh my god. took me till 22 to run away and still came back at 28. now trying to get back out at 30.

[@MythsScamsLies]

@@こなた-m1o It's a nightmare. Just have a plan and make it happen. There's going to be damage all over the place. People are going to hate and shun you. Your goal is to preserve your mental health and to gain your freedom. You should not be doing anything that doesn't lead to those two things.

[@gail.r.4604]

Still scraping!

[@CharlotteBarden]

I like you Dr. Les Carter in Texas. I have been in a phone relationship with a younger full Narcissist for about 5 years. His BS flows. He wants to know all about my life, but not let me know any of his life. I said to him, "You be you, I'll be me, Let us be friends". Let's do something together! But no, he can't. He thinks I'm asking for romance. All he does is call me with long conversations of lies. He pops in/out of my life at his will and he calls my best friends, talks about me, without telling me. Still I really care about him, his health and welfare. I want to be friends, we are very compatible. Anything else I can do besides not jumping into his mudhole. Our age him 63, her 80. Thanks C.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Sounds to me like you're being toyed with.

[@patriciaholloway]

This person sounds like a user and abuser. You will keep giving and giving of yourself..... for what? To what end? Get away from this person before it's too late. Don't spend the last years on someone who isn't capable of caring about you and is going to make you crazy. You will get nothing from them but heartache. You can't fix them or save them. You need to save yourself. These people can be dangerous.

[@maIwaldron]

They love to instill instability in all ways... plant seeds of doubt in your mind, gaslight you into believing your peace, comfort and boundaries are pointless and weak. Genuine happiness and contentment in others always leads to rage for a Narcissist. They have too much trauma in their maladaptive ways, it must be dispersed among those close.

[@こなた-m1o]

oh my god yes

[@emmanuelperez3839]

Been there done that lived most of my life with 2 narc parents, now I know better and can guide my children away from their kind

[@emmanuelperez3839]

P.s. it f my reality up, i had to grow up with a bunch of trust issues, feeling confused not even been able to pin point the cause of it because I thought they loved me.

[@Ioncandi]

My son has finally figured out that his grandmother is a narcissist and doesn't care about trying to please her. He's finally listened to my stories and knows it's futile to try.

[@KOProductions777]

What is the worst thing about them is they don't want the people in their lives to be happy. So they'll purposely do things they know hurt you, even to the point of destroying themselves. It's 🥜 and as it's a result of childhood trauma, they never grow up or have wisdom... that alone is annoying 😂

[@Teacher369]

Thank you, Dr Carter ☀️ I needed to hear “Your character is everything, so hold onto that.” 💥 My family of origin is gone now (some members figuratively, others literally). I’m left with my good character. I’m going to “lean into that.” 🙏 ❤️ ☮️ 🐕

[@karenk2409]

After 46 years, and 2 years of court to get free, I have a very clear conscience.

[@incognito595]

Yes! A million times Yes!

[@allykatharvey]

This is so true. The dominance of a true narcissist is an almost unbelievable, mesmerising power. Seeing through it and not playing their game takes real strength but it’s worth breaking their stranglehold - if you can!

[@mindythierolf2045]

He’s not wrong. Best piece of advice ever!

[@mistykellam4029]

I’ve watched a lot of your videos Dr. C and this short by far has been FOR ME… the absolute BEST one considering my circumstances in which I am in a place that I don’t have many choices to completely get out of the relationship but it is the absolute best advice on have to survive and even eventually thrive IN the situation! ❤❤❤

[@elainebines6803]

Your going to be ok but what I would say is, once you know, you go but if that's not possible at the moment, don't let them know you've worked them out and begin making plans for yourself. You, now, are the priority and if you have children it's important you remain strong and well

[@Marilyn-oz1op]

Divorce is a wonderful place to be.🌹

[@BohoHobo948]

This is spot on. As you've said before, when a narcissist is in control, everyone else must put away their own distinct character, personality and preferences. All must become bland, nodding 'yes men' - robots if you will - with eyes and ears only for their master, the narcissist.

[@suziesmith2142]

GET AWAY FROM THEM altogether, forever, if possible!

[@judythompson8227]

mother never forgave me for living where I live; she couldn't drive by and keep tabs on me. She kept me from every funeral in the family, and Im the last one standing. I would like to have gone to my 'real' mother's funeral, but I wasn't told about it until it was over...thanks, ma.

[@tonysmith7632]

These words are so wise. Thank you Dr C.

[@ruebensfilms]

You're a lovely person doctor and a great educator

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thank you.

[@ceciliahink6611]

Thankyou so much for clarifying what I have been going through!!! It would have been easier for me if I didn't actually have feelings for him!!!

[@OneLindaCarter]

They definitely think they control you. When I dumped him he screamed “you do what I say” & I replied in an antagonist way “& I do what the f I want to do” he screamed it again & I said it again then reminded him that I have surpassed him in life & that his life is in shambles. Also that he doesn’t know if he’s coming or going & don’t know who he really is. Then I said now why would I listen to you. I didn’t get this far in life by listening to you, why would I start now. He had nothing to say.

[@Xenlacasa45]

They are cowards

[@gail.r.4604]

LOL🎉

[@shadysunshine9293]

Listening to your videos educated me, saved what was left of my sanity, and helped bring me enough strength to leave. On the other side now and get to be me. Its such a treasure. Love it!

[@simpleviewer7445]

These guidelines are so pressious. You helped me, understanding my Situation I‘m in and how to live with it without loosing myself or my health… thank you Mr. Carter. God bless you.

[@lindaschweitzer5349]

Perfect! You can do this when you have effectively split off from them emotionally and you see through their fantasy of who they have presented themselves to be... they have no control over you. You know that they are very small inside.

[@amandaliverpool3374]

If they're not listening. You stop talking!!!

[@roxymovie3938]

Why should you start open your mouth when their ears are closed in the first place?!!😉

[@amandaliverpool3374]

@@roxymovie3938 True 👍

[@yukio_saito]

The reverse is also true. If they are talking, I stop listening to them. It's just a meaningless self-talk. 😁

[@amandaliverpool3374]

@@yukio_saito ha ha 😂 yes

[@Greenwings701]

Yep, and if they are listening it's with evil ears. They will twist what you say and weaponize it. They are not your friend. They are toxic and their agenda is to spread that toxin far and wide in YOUR life.

[@Prometheuspredator]

So true. I have said you have your truth and I have my truth and that is ok. Drives them bonkers.

[@ReformedRepublican]

We have one in our house of 6 people, 5 normal and 1 narcissit, who is a control freak. She screamed she hated me over dinner. I said "Well, l must be doing someting right." Just leave me alone until you need me to get you out of trouble again.

[@lamoon1525]

Thank you Dr. I thought I was the crazy one. Turns out, after gathering the facts, and examining them close up, I was being manipulated. Joyfully, he decided I'd disrespected him one last time and he cut me off. He thought he'd harm me one last time by trying to alienate family & friends. Forewarned is forearmed. Funny all I really feel is a sense of relief he is gone. You've helped me. Thank you.

[@fred.k9875]

Thank you Dr.C for being there for us 🙏

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

My honor, Fred.

[@Georgie-0811]

​@@SurvivingNarcissism I just discovered you a few days ago and everything I've listened to is so spot on and helpful and validating. This one just cuts to the chase. Your teaching is very clear and to the point, which I appreciate. I'll be continuing to listen and watch for your videos. Thank you.

[@thevoraciousscribe]

"Live as a free person" hit me deep. That's where I'm at right now, and it's hard but worth it ❤

[@anitaaustralia]

Mine asked me early on if I was intimidated by him. That was the reddest of red flags ...

[@daveleonard7282]

Best advice ever for people who have to live with or work with a narcissist. “You are a free person!”❤

[@yvetteandjorgenlarsen9753]

Hey Doc, this one actually made me chuckle a few times, as I think back to my very short marriage to a covert narcissist. I've been out for 4 months, and I'm very thankful that I can laugh about it already! I have watched 20+ of your 14-minute videos, and your information has been extremely helpful to me, since I'd never heard of narcissism before I married last year, so I was quite confused about his strange, evil and mean behaviors. I'm very grateful to you because your no-nonsense information has helped me recover quickly although I was struggling to understand what had just happened. I must have driven him crazy because he kicked me out after only ~3 months LOL. God bless you, sir!

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Sorry to know you've gone through this, but we'll chalk it up as "live and learn." Best wishes as you move forward, and I'm pleased to be on the path with you.

[@lauramartinez7057]

“They’re not listening anyway” is what I had to realize when dealing with a narcissist.

[@RandomPerson-bd2hv]

You’re helping many people Dr Carter. Thank you for your good work.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thanks so much. I enjoy what I do.

[@FundingAnimals]

I need to listen to this first thing every morning. 👍❤️

[@chuchiesalazar9969]

I’ve always appreciated your, “ daily news” on the narcissist.. I feel your channel is very important to me. It has helped me tremendously to understand all games included to jolt the mind to be confused. I feel my covert narcissist husband is starting to see that I am becoming way more distant and non-believing of his jackassed personality. I am gaining so much strength and dealing with the weakness he put me in. Always having God with me and learning his word as well. This combination has improved me tremendously. Thank you so much.❤❤❤❤❤

[@morgangraham3399]

I mean, my jaw hit the floor before you finished your 1st sentence & literally remained that way. My God, if only I'd seen this 5-6 yrs ago before learning about it the hard way. The whole "stop trying to convince them, they're not paying attention anyway" comment is particularly heartbreaking bc of so many yrs wasted. Lost much more than I was prepared for. Still having issues coping, forgiving, letting go.

[@Lyoungministries]

I think I need to save this video so I can refer to it again and again. After 18 years of marriage to a narcissist, I let him know I was on to him and demanded that we have complete autonomy. He does what he wants and I do what I want, and because he doesn’t wanna lose me through a divorce, (the house) things are going pretty well. We are cordial now and have an arrangement for expenses.

[@Ioncandi]

Why live a half-life? Boot that fool out and find your new future.

[@nextupafrica9897]

Thanks! I went through devaluation and then was discarded once a new supply was hooked. We have two kids & were married for 12 years. He said he just wants someone that can be whatever he wants them to be. I was shattered. I’m still picking up the pieces. I will be better than before. Thank you for your eye opening and encouraging videos.

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thanks

[@danivynsteele7695]

Whenever I execute tactful exits and disengagement, I get an onslaught of the narcissists attempts to get back in and regain manipulative dominance. Its exhausting having to deflect that incessantly.

[@maureensheppard3613]

Thankyou for the lessons. Thankyou too for not swearing.Its so refreashing not to be within earshot of bad unnecessary language

[@isabelvidal3584]

I love your wisdom! I listened to your advice, and I got out of his life. I am free from his BS!❤

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Pleased for you!

[@MoniqueTrammelle]

Well said, Sir, thank you

[@notaclue822]

I want to have meaningful separate relationships, but the covert narc invades them.

[@simplysindisiwe]

Wanna have meaningful separate relationships. Have few good dear friends. Problem i spot a narc from far now. No longer ignoring red flags.

[@lancea1470]

"Invading your meaningful relationships"? How are they trying to invade your relationships? (If they are trying to turn them against you, like by saying really bad things about you..... 'cut the line and run super fast'. (Is my short answer.) Best of luck ❤️

[@caroleminke6116]

❤️‍🩹

[@notaclue822]

Oh I have cut the line. The narc ran a smear campaign and will manipulate people's perceptions to isolate me. She is really good at it.

[@Greenwings701]

@@lancea1470 It's an insidious thing. They listen to your conversations a little too carefully and you can see the sneer or smirk on their face. They will hone in on a piece of info that could even remotely be negative or give them a portal to something gossip-worthy or otherwise sensitive or negative. You'll be able to feel it and anticipate the very elements of your convo that they'll latch onto, including pieces of sentences, tone, your expression, etc. If there's joy involved, you just handed it over. If there's something negative or unhappy, they will make it into a weapon. It is dangerous to your well-being to let them hear any of your conversations. Keep. Them. Away.

[@roselainerichemond2477]

This is what I do, be me. Big Respect to you Dr. ❤

[@SurvivingNarcissism]

Thanks!

[@ΔεσποιναΒασιλικα]

Absolutely true

[@mday3821]

Thank you, Dr. C. I wish I had this short in 2017...it would have saved me so much time, energy, tears, and heartache. Give Gus a hug for me.

[@stevenbanks268]

He's right. If you just keep being you, it'll drive them crazy. Have other relationships

[@AmyColleen-pg7eo]

Thank God for this wisdom and tools and explanation. So much truth. So much knowledge. Removing myself from the narcissistic in my life is becoming a must. For my well being state of mind. My heart is wouldned because I never knew loving this person would bring a boatload of suffering and pain. Love shouldn’t be this hurtful. All this information has been helpful on how I am to navigate through my relationship and me not reacting to their chaos. Love isn’t supposed to cause heartache

[@mschlund1]

Been there done that, trued walking away saying i wiuld talk when they are sober, she grabbwd my arm, i jerked away and kept going, she followed me so i took off running and literally hid from her in some bushes, i was not going to argue with a drunk narcissist

[@AmandaAlexander-jp2ym]

After 16 years I've truly lost myself

[@explorer_highway]

Thank you! I’m now living free of family abusers and finding my own way…. at 60!

[@earlineblack8276]

@@explorer_highway hey there that’s great, I’m 79 and getting ready to move on and let my little light 💡 shine ✨ I’m so great full for seeing the beautiful light 💡 ahead of me 🙏🏼💡🙏🏼

[@Ioncandi]

I'm waiting for mine to pass on and then I'll be free. Probably in another 5 years if I can make it.

[@KimberlyMontoya-we1cb]

😂🥰I love it. I was so used to it as I was growing up I befriended someone where I live now. OMG! It’s so true it’s funny. I was polite and listened as they accused me of who the tried to tell me who I was. In the end, instead of being polite I permanently ended it.They put their shadows on you!

[@GlmToto]

When you wrestle a pig in the mud, only the pig comes out happy

[@krystami5789]

Having friends is my main issue, I've always had issues socializing with others to where I had to have very special treatment in HS, I had to be away from students and teachers in a separate room to work usually, it was rare when people made me feel comfortable. Everyone has always felt mean, apathetic, or just focused so much on their own lives, also perhaps not practicing actual empathy. It puts me off, I just didn't wanna waste my energy.

[@madamchairman2538]

I'm thoroughly enjoying your content. Thank you!

[@nancymcdonald8291]

It's a family member. Four times, on separate occasions, I've told her, "I have nothing to say to you. I wish you well, " yet she keeps it up. I've "Unfriended" her, she sent another friend request, I blocked her, I obtained a new phone number.

[@farzanaaniq658]

I don't want to argue but he drives me nuts i lashed out and he calls me nuts 😂😅

[@RavensAchilles513]

It blows my mind when listening to your videos how you know these people so well. Its as if you have been around my relationship all these years. " Dont jump into their mudhole.". Outstanding! Made me literally laugh outloud. He goes the extra mile to make any holiday as miserable as possible. I take my sweet doggie in the back room and just sit here as at peace as I can be. Thank you for what you do.💜🙏💜♾️