How to Flirt without Being "That Guy"

Don't Be "That Guy" when you're flirting. Here are the Top 5 Faux Pas when flirting! 🆓FREE GUIDE - Three Techniques to Drive Her Wild TONIGHT 🆓
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00:00 Start
01:19 The Top 5 Flirting Faux Pas
02:38 Expectations
04:00 Forcing an Outcome
05:26 Pushing Beyond Her "No"
08:00 Being Someone You're Not
09:55 Freaking Out
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#CaitlinV

[@miata350]

The part about rejection goes both ways. I have NEVER had a woman take rejection in stride. Every single one overreacted and made a scene.

[@DeETex0308]

Where was all this incredible advice 35 years ago when i was a struggling single youg man.

[@CaitlinV]

I get that, glad we're here now though!!

[@donniereidjr]

Caitlin you are simply amazing! Flawless flirt? I like that!

[@DL-nw2vz]

Flirting for fun social interaction is the best.

[@michaelneal7377]

Thanks for uploading this video I learned a lot

[@CaitlinV]

Glad to hear that, thank you!

[@markchavarria5187]

I found that if you have a goal, that you might not reach it. But if you don't have one, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya... it feels phenomenal.

[@dabsafe]

I was always a little awkward around the ladies when I was much younger and wasn’t good at either flirting or picking up signals. Now that I am over 60 and after the death of my wife after almost 40 years, I miss nothing and am having a blast flirting with women (of all ages). Thanks for the video and damn; you’re looking amazing 😉🇨🇦🎸

[@L.DOT.P.]

This is the topic!!

[@VinnieAtlanta]

Awesome stuff

[@axps4964]

11:01 Having the perspective you mentioned is really healthy in life. But in order to do that you need to have some sort of success in that area as well. I cannot blame a guy who has been rejected his whole life romantically if he is scared of rejections, and take rejectiond personally.

[@trinsit]

I'm in my head, but not about getting sex. When things go well, I'm hit with a paralyzing fear of commitment. I'm divorced from long ago and i can't shake the abuse. I can't be vulnerable with others or trust anyone. I am that guy, so I just keep my mouth shut. I live with family because I've been helping them while saving for my own place. I don't see myself as having a life to share with anyone.

[@ErectileDysfunctionHelp]

Interesting take!

[@alexmonteiropraca6585]

Your advice is always the most interesting, sexy and intelligent. Thank you!!

[@brianBZ1]

I get it now !!!!.it not so much the words you say, but the playful vibe you have. NO AGENDA was the key note.

[@Jurgium]

#2 explains a hell of a lot. My ex, and friends would say i was flirting with someone, when i was just having a conversation. 😅

[@Elfos64]

I imagine that the way to have fun without expectation is similar to the art of comedy and jokes. There is a logic, structure, rules to comedy, what might that be for flirting successfully without expectation? For comedy, there are rules and structures like "only punch up or sideways, never down", Rule of three, Setup & Payoff, Punchline, Timing, Anti-climax, therefore/however and then…, goofball & straight-man, deadpan, etc. What are the structures and rules flirting has?

[@LukasiMusic]

Think there should be some sense of expectations and goal in mind for a relationship somehow, sounded like it works 1 out of a hundred. If you're not flirting with a goal, it's basically just being a nice guy, not flirting in just having a conversation.

[@jooolsen]

Caitlin always on point with her outfits!

[@justaguitarplayer2059]

Great too today !

[@i_am_thebatman]

If you take rejection well and you’re able to diffuse the situation with a joke it can portray high sexual market value. A girl once told me coldly she had a boyfriend before I was even finished talking and I learned back smiling and said “yeah but I’m taller “ with a wink and her friends immediately were taken aback and giggled . She said no you’re not he’s 6’4” and I said “Well God made me a deal he said I could be 6’ with dazzling blue eyes or I could be 6’4” with brown eyes , I chose the Blue eyes.” And just the quickness of the wit alone made her smile and laugh and she said “who are you” and I smiled saying “you’ll never know” and danced into a conga line at the party . All the girls were smiling and I later danced with one of them who thought I was cute and who I must have missed when I came up to the group who was even prettier than the girl I approached . Everyone left that night having a great time and the other girl gave me her IG

[@knuckle47]

Congratulations on the new TV show on Discovery + 👏

[@CaitlinV]

Thank you!!!!

[@EidolonSpecus]

1, 2 and 3 : you are doing things wrong and your behavior needs to change (which is generally the case) 4 and 5 : "just be yourself, it is the only way to go" (No, really, don't settle for being yourself, that might be bad) The way it's framed is kinda contradictory and confusing, not very neurodivergent-friendly. If you're "being yourself" and you still do these things wrong, well you still have to _change_ yourself then (i.e., get better). Part 1, literally says you need to change. Not "pretend" to be different; but, to actually _be_ better.

[@gottafly30]

goes both ways. if you get a polite lady-like 'no thanks' then be a gentleman about it. have gratitude for the time and opportunity. if they are rude, you have no such obligation.

[@jonwinchester8067]

I love what you teach us. Seems so obvious after you teach it. Although ive always been pretty adept at meeting and getting along with women, as i age its not working like he used to. How can I overcome the offset of wrinkles and gray hair and still be attractive to women. I mean after all, I know Im still a stud, but I'm not ready to hang up my sex life just yet.

[@Sage-nc9uq]

Caitlin's so pretty

[@dariushmilani6760]

The Late Kurt Corbin once said "I rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I am not".

[@CaitlinV]

wise man

[@steveshetterjr.6976]

Love to hear your advises. In regards to this video, I would like to share a moment I had a few days ago. Wife and I went to the grocery store and on my way in, a lady in a skirt commented on my Kilt. I wear them daily. As we passed she gave me the look (flirting), and I in return just smiled. I heard her say "Irishman", I looked and she grabbed the front of her skirt and pretended to lift it. Acknowledging this as she wanted me to return the gesture, I grabbed the front of my kilt and lifted the front flap. The second layer of the kilt kept me covered and we laughed and I gently said to her "not today". We both laughed and continued along our separate ways. Wife knows that I know my "boundaries" and that this would never happen. We laughed at the whole event.

[@CaitlinV]

this is AWESOME!! Thank you for this Steve!!

[@michaelcushman]

There are many, hurt, angry men comments. If you only approach woman you have a thing for, you are setting yourself up for more pain than pleasure. My suggestion get unstuck. Try flirting with women you dont want to take home. 1. It is good practice. 2. Your only goal is to be in the moment and have a little improvisational fun. 3. You move on feeling desired. It is good for the ego. 4. All women enjoy a good flirt moment. It is like a little porn to them. So her day will be brightened, even if she might have wanted more. 5. She just might talk you up to other women, or other women were watching. They observe guys all the time. "What a good flirt you are". Now women come up to you with flirting in mind. They want you to give them some of that dopamine! This is why age, looks dont matter to women when it comes to flirting. They love the experience, even if in a committed relationship, and they aren't going to take it further. Instead of seeing flirting as her teasing you, see it as you teasing her. Make her tingle and go home smiling. All women want it. So why not have a little fun with ever woman in the room? It feels good. And it will get rid of your resentments and anger towards dating and attrative women.

[@stuornes5095]

I don't flirt. It feels artificial. I have been told by numerous people that I also don't notice when a women are flirting with me. I don't feel any stress about it.

[@mammi7699]

Yes!

[@dbeck6620]

Don’t even bother giving a fake number . Why go through the effort . Say u r in a relationship, work for the church , or , this works every time ladies , tell them you are a psychologist or a relationship influencer. The guys will go away on their own . Why go through the trouble of giving a fake number. What if U run into the same guy again. Not a good idea ladies Just leave

[@johnmccall9605]

The point is... it's all about numbers 🤣

[@dbeck6620]

All relationships start off as being someone you’re not. Extra nice , or sweet or thoughtful , why do u think all of that goes away after sex or after you are in a comfortable position. Because the real person comes out eventually

[@kbanghart]

So you think you can't flirt and be real?

[@dbeck6620]

Nobody deserves anything. You get what you work hard for in life.

[@davidz3879]

Some people are born lucky: rich, healthy, good-looking, etc.

[@draciond]

I feel sad that women dont feel comfortable just saying no if not interested. As adults we should be ok with it and understand some people just aren't interested. I prefer being direct instead of playing hidden meaning games with indirect words. Sometimes they can be more hurtful than just being told no

[@thra-x1855]

the what not to do stuff is all fine and well but most of it is just common sense, golden-rule sort of stuff. what to do is far more difficult to grapple with.

[@bobrott4144]

I have absolutely no confidence whatsoever. And, also have no idea how to flirt whatsoever either. And, no money to pay people to teach me how. ☹️

[@Purplefoxess]

Caitlin I’m autistic I can’t read body language. What are the No? And what are the yes?

[@Emanuel_carey]

I’m engaged. And I love to flirt.

[@CaitlinV]

you get it!

[@kbanghart]

I agree, I'm married and I love it when my wife flirts! I have an ex who I'm still in love with as well, she is married but she kisses other guys which is also super hot.

[@aswath1112]

You have an attractive body language loved it and the content 😜

[@Eric_walker642]

I got a question I’m been single for awhile in I’m 34 years old how do I find girlfriend that love me

[@nicolashuerta7050]

I need to know if my girlfriend is cheating on me can you help me out

[@Venom-ez6ip]

More men should really listen to this one.

[@ARMoon]

What if a married woman flirts? Should i stay away?

[@That-Guy_]

I feel attacked 🤣

[@kesetokaiba]

Username checks out xD

[@CaitlinV]

😂

[@That-Guy_]

@@CaitlinV ❤️

[@dbeck6620]

I do like being rejected. Makes me stronger .

[@davidz3879]

You wouldn't like it if you were always rejected.

[@sjhmagic1]

I disagree with one and two. Because your time is valuable. And tunnel vision is an even worse sign of desperation. When I flirt, my agenda is to find out who she is. I don't know anything about her. Second I don't have time to wait for her to get comfortable. Why would I give her that kind of power over me, I don't know this woman. The only thing she can do is say no, but she needs to know you can leave anytime too.

[@jonesmauriceelijah7.222]

Is it reasonable or ridiculous to create a typed questionnaire for a date or online potential

[@davidz3879]

If they know you're using a questionnaire , they won't like it.

[@stachusch6153]

Weird uncle vibes & Jedi K-nights ,ja pierdole 😂

[@nobodysperfect06]

A reminder how I was never a fan of the dating process or the Dynamics of dating and attraction because the way it looks like, guys, men, need to know or learn all of these social skills or social behaviors, talk and behave a certain way, have certain social behaviors, have certain talking and communication ability, have a certain lifestyle, because initiating interaction or approaching, getting her attracted to you during the conversation or interaction, flirting, also leading and taking the lead is all social behavior based or social skills based, behavioral aspect based. Along with have a certain lifestyle as well, because men have the burden of building or sparking the attraction, it's like, a woman doesn't need to know how to attract a guy. For women it seems if they are just pretty or average and decent looking, then they are all set, along with having an average or decent personality, a guy can be average or decent looking but if he lacks what I mentioned above he will still struggle to get a girlfriend but a woman like that will still be able to get a boyfriend easily. And reminds me of comments like this "Well, everything depends on how you look at things. And you can complain about how the world works, or you can adapt to it and make the most of your situation!" I get mad and annoyed when people and society think men still have it better than women do in dating

[@allenboyab731]

Heeeeey Ms. How are you haven't been on in a while

[@CaitlinV]

I post every week on Thursday :) Are you subscribed? You should get notifications if so!

[@sterlingc.1255]

Okay, so no means no, and I completely respect this. How would an autisic guy understand these social ques without her being direct?

[@nathanielwalker2093]

Good advice. Thanks and I love your page. I really want to concentrate on having a healthy fun relationship outside of sex although sex is 💯 percent on my mind.

[@CaitlinV]

Thank you for sharing!

[@ranusmagnus656]

@11:14 Tons? I can't even find one(!) of them.

[@brunocunha3114]

The advice looks great but I don't understand the concept of flirting in general my interaction usually is normal conversation nothing related to sex or relationship. Just pure innocent talk. I think I don't understand. My perception of flirting looks so abusive I do not try it😐

[@jeffclydecainong2444]

As a young boy who can be a good person, and I'm not too foolish and under-raging, so you don't need assistance with, in other words "Stop It, Get Some Help"

[@matthewmorrisdon5491]

What is wrong with matchmakers?

[@Kong2112]

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@dbeck6620]

Expose Caitlin V

[@SuperDaveno]

I have interacted with 2 women for who no is fake. They were mad at me, and after a lot of probing i realize that is because i did not force myself earlier when they said no...Go figure

[@CaitlinV]

The catfish are out and they are biting!!

[@outlawzempire9516]

Is it just me or does she look like a goddess in that top?

[@byronmartin4511]

Byron yes hi

[@CaitlinV]

Hi Byron! Nice to see you as always

[@bizzlemunroe2963]

I must have rotten luck or negative energy attracting the wrong women as some are so entitled out there. Refuse to go for the guy they like, out of some false expectation that it's always the guy to flirt to chase. Or claim that rejection is way easier for a guy to accept and worse for a woman to deal with.

[@mag3481]

Maybe a little off topic but, “if good women like good water why I attracting all these ratchets?”

[@bizzlemunroe2963]

@@mag3481 pov considered however it is a cultural expectation and a lot of the women are pampered and pandered to in my culture. For acceptance or something different, I probably would not find it within my own race/heritage.

[@mag3481]

@@bizzlemunroe2963 where are u from

[@bizzlemunroe2963]

@@mag3481 The UK. My heritage is Indian. India itself in the major cities is modern and forward thinking. The communities for the most part in the UK however, are not. Quite conservative and regressive in their attitudes and approaches.

[@frankboon8318]

why is it that he's got to do all the figuring got to make her feel comfortable but she doesn't make him feel comfortable and she can make him feel as cheap dirty and creepy as she wants I just don't understand it I mean women can women have all the power men don't have the right to say no men don't have the right to think no

[@kbanghart]

Ok

[@mpumelelobeyers957]

A fish telling a fisherman how to fish... Go figure!!!

[@charlieirvin5423]

Just be who you are to Be with a woman don't Go over Board

[@d.leroy2567]

Works for guys only above 6 ft

[@dbeck6620]

Just say no how u mean it. Why so many different ways. No it it not my job to figure it out. Communicate it properly and there won’t be any issues.

[@PaulC39]

Yeah and there are the young ladies that play hard to get. I remember that back in the day. Of course the ratio goes up more you flirt. Forget about it on a Social Network and long distance. It’s a waste of time more often than not. At my age now I know more than I did when I was a young man. Start off casual and take the time.

[@dbeck6620]

Don’t waste your time guys. Hookers , massage parlors and weed. You’ll be fine Let them come to you. They are just as desperate as us guys. Fuck doing all the work. It’s 2022, everything should be equal .

[@davidz3879]

But it isn't anywhere near equal, and the large majority of men are rarely or never approached by women.

[@rickriccardi4741]

If you don't want to politely talk to women and give them the attention and admiration that they deserve, we do. A few more years of hookers and weed and you're "that guy".

[@keithcheng4671]

yes, but chances are as high as aliens landing on your house

[@TheRexTera]

I think its really important to sort yourself out first. If you’re unemployed, going trough a breakup, mental health or loss in the family. Get trough that first because you’re not good for the person that would be good for you. Emotional intimacy is not the best support in those life phases. This is where the “Village” is at its most important. The “Village” means friends, family, coworkers. People that cares, but have the emotional distance to be the best help and give the best push. Problem is that here in the west were overly romantic and think that love is all we need when it’s the proper connections that is the most important.

[@CaitlinV]

My favorite quote "sort yourself out first" 👏🏼

[@Swearengen1980]

All of these types of videos popped up in the algorithm because of a supplement to help with some energy around gym time. I couldn't help but listen to a few random people on various sexual topics and...wow. Every one of these (the videos, not just this one) is what I considered common sense or learned in my early 20s. I'd like to say it's unbelievable that men are this clueless, but being single again in my 40s, I've found that women are every bit as awful. Any stereotype you think of about men can usually be applied to women as well.

[@KrishnaSingh-rg4qk]

🌺🌺🤓🤓❤️

[@dbeck6620]

Guys This is an opinion of 1 chick. 1 chick ok. Don’t bother . Be u. And guess what , being you might be being alone your whole life. Except it and move forward . Don’t waste your time with all these rules and suggestions.. do you know why there are so many influencers with all the right answer yet we are all still in the same position? Because they don’t know shit. It’s all bulkshit

[@michaelsheehan7316]

I dont flirt with woman im not attracted to. So while being a woman, flirting may just be fun and not mean anything but to a man he wants in it no question lol. Not like she be like,"wanna fuk?" and he be like, "no, thanks" lmfao

[@CaitlinV]

I encourage you to try flirting with people who you're not attracted to, it's just a way of being

[@michaelsheehan7316]

@@CaitlinV Im a 35 year old man and just started watching your videos last week. The woman I play with have been loving your advice. I actually got called the greatest lover for the first time in my life a few days ago lol. Thank you gorgeous

[@davidz3879]

@@CaitlinV What if they think you're attracted to them?

[@kbanghart]

@@davidz3879 so, go with it but be honest

[@davidz3879]

@@kbanghart Tell her that you're not attracted to her & you're just flirting for practice?

[@dbeck6620]

We are all nobodies. Get over yourself . Attractive people end up with attractive people , ugly people end up with ugly peoples . So on and so forth. Stay in your lane. If your ugly, talk to other ugly people, if you are fat, same-thing. Don’t put kick your coverage

[@dbeck6620]

Just don’t talk to me and walk away. Excuse yourself to the ladies room and that’s it.

[@dbeck6620]

Should not be that complicated

[@kbanghart]

It's not

[@timsmith7112]

It helps when you have something to flirt with. 🤣 Also women have the upper hand when it comes to sex. She knows when she leaves the house 🤣

[@CaitlinV]

There's people to flirt with everywhere!! But YOU gotta leave the house lol

[@pohdiquesti]

Jesus just be normal…there’s plenty fishes out in the sea…believe in yourself…

[@dbeck6620]

It’s not sales. It’s sex and flirting.

[@jordannns2511]

U know your cute your self

[@dbeck6620]

But if a guy says no, he is an asshole. Just don’t bother people . Half the time it ends in misery

[@haka3606]

Temporarily unsubbing cuz I just had a break up... I'll be back when I'll be in relationship.. See ya 😇

[@stevenporter863]

7:12 Could be her 'yes' or her just being a tease. Waste of time and energy.

[@gordonbecker1456]

Be tall, hot, rich and horse d if you want to flirt with women. Otherwise you will be treated like shit

[@dbeck6620]

U mean like u r right now. Trying to make people believe u r something u r not

[@dbeck6620]

Even this chick says there is more than 1 way to do it. Yet she is telling you only 1 way with 5 restrictions . Boring

[@williamhughey6875]

Everything is too damn one sided in favor of women!!!!!!!!

[@kbanghart]

So what will you do about it?

[@jaisrobins1545]

Don’t buy her a drink .

[@stevenporter863]

5:53 Games. Just be an adult and say what you mean instead of in cyphers. Grow up.

[@yetivanmarshall1473]

But I want to be that guy😋

[@Allan_aka_RocKITEman]

​@CaitlinV >>> 👍👍

[@dbeck6620]

How about a woman approach a man. Stop making us responsible for every little aspect of everything . Women, take some initiative. Just don’t sit there like a lump

[@nobodysperfect06]

I don't see that ever changing unfortunately

[@kbanghart]

Cope

[@hubblebublumbubwub5215]

This video is about how not to flirt. It barely says anything about what to actually do.

[@garhumpston5495]

With this chick talking, No wonder there is so much trouble between men and women. She is all about telling men what to do, what about talking what women do? Or need to do.

[@kbanghart]

So go ahead, what do women need to do?

[@Machbossgt]

You in that outfit, mmm baby you’re a freaking goddess *chefs kiss*

[@CaitlinV]

Thank you, it's true! You have excellent taste 😂

[@Machbossgt]

@@CaitlinV the fact you replied made my day 😘

[@dbeck6620]

How are you not in your mind when u r supposed to follow all these ridiculous steps? This chick contradicts herself constantly and you idiots are helping her make money by giving absolutely zero advise that works . Just be yourself from day 1. If u r not, the second you expose yourself , your true self. She is gone . Don’t change for anyone Just be you . If it works great, if not , move on, eventually there will be someone dumb enough to like u

[@kbanghart]

Stay bitter

[@gmlgml780]

9:58 _"... rejection scks ..."_ Yeah. You're right. And you still cannot just say that. There are rejections what cannot be accepted. Those are still not justifying any arrogance or aggression, but still, THEY CANNOT BE ACCEPTED. In those cases the rejected party will be destroyed. You don't just take the rejection in those cases, but you take your destruction. (And let this universe save anybody who cannot take that.) Life is not this purple and pink unicorn f@rt, like your clothes.

[@CaitlinV]

I am sorry for whatever hurt you. I highly recommend doing some research on the victim mindset. I wish you the best.

[@gmlgml780]

​@@CaitlinV _"... I am sorry for whatever hurt you ..."_ Yeah. Just stop to sorry me. I don't need your pity. Just understand what I say. Feel it. Just stop to deny it. _"... I highly recommend doing some research on the victim mindset ..."_ Yeah. I won't research it, and I never were. Still, people like you were pointing it out for me. It's just a word for simple people to throw with. For them, to make them feeling that they've something. But we all are just victims of this life. We all are just the slaves of this universe. _"... I wish you the best ..."_ Yeah. I wish you that, too. You seem somebody with real chance. But believe me, we cannot say the same about me.

[@CaitlinV]

Also thank you for writing this as a poem!

[@gmlgml780]

@@CaitlinV _"... Also thank you for writing this as a poem! ..."_ Yeah. Many say that. But I stubbornly and notoriously deny it. These are comments. I have a cr@ppy enter and zero language skills. This is the result.

[@dave2160666]

Females so complicated

[@tom61375]

TIZZLE~TIZZLE 🌹😎👍👍 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 & 💎💎💎💎💎 MOST FANTASTIC!!!🎊🎉 "Shall I Narrate You A Ditry~Book My Love... With My Deep Seductive Adulterous Misleading... Yet, Smooth Harmonious Finishing Voice...." Always Love & Good Vibes From Las Vegas, Nevada. Sincerely, Tom Weidler

[@CaitlinV]

Please do! Thank you Tom!