How To Get Your Ex Back When They’re Dating Someone Else - Elisa’s Story

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited) Here is the link to the MASTERCLASS! -> urlgeni.us/MCTSELBODS Download the FREE GUIDE! -> relationshipsmastered.com/healing-partner-emotions To see how all my clients have achieved massive success through dire & hopeless circumstances, click here! kzbin.info/aero/PLQ8tvyhQlPzsNm-vC_g_8SWGcJRngefgU

[@lukeleonardrasmussen3550]

You need to offer her a job with RR :D

[@elisabompadre8]

I would like to add that our relationship improves weekly as we grow closer, and he sees and trusts my changes and grows to believe I can be the kind of partner he needs while he goes to med school ( he was accepted) He tells me his tough truths and I listen with an intent to understand him deeply. He feels safe talking to me and exploring difficult and conflicting feelings with me. I’m so glad I didn’t quit on him. The intimacy we share is exceptional and far more powerful than anything I’ve ever experienced before.

[@livewithinthedream]

Okay, watched the entire thing. I am happy for her outcome, and of course there is always more process work for both of them to do as it is the human experience. I hope her partner realizes the value to also live in the moment not simply in the "what if" future after his medical degree. Tomorrow is not promised. As for Elisa saying there is an illusion of there being infinite people to date; I would say it isn't so much an illusion it is just that those are all people who, as Geoffrey worded, want to play games(which is the norm at this time). People who carry the same problems the old "you" carried around. So the grass really isn't greener until you create the environment for it to grow. The takeaway? Embrace the moment without bias, understand that you can always grow in greater and more positive ways, and of course DO THE WORK.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

The grass is not greener on the other side, it is greenest where you water it :) A lot of people these days do not know how to water their grass, and when the grass dies, they blame the grass, instead of learning how to nurture them better. But once you learn to make the grass green, you realize that creating thriving relationships is much much much easier than people make it seem.

[@livewithinthedream]

@@GeoffreySetiawan Well said!

[@livewithinthedream]

Based on the title I am looking forward to this one! Just recently signed papers with her, but was able to thrive thanks to my shifts. We had a great conversation about it, and still talk with video calls three or four times a week. You know what's weird? You still love them but even divorce doesn't shake you. Them dating someone else doesn't even shake you(when this happens for me I am excited). It is like...okay that's happening, but it doesn't change ANYTHING. Giving G the I owe you for now, and will respond to the vid when done.

[@lukeleonardrasmussen3550]

You're gonna love it. It was fucking fantastic. If you haven't already, I'd watch Elisa's first interview with G just to get some context

[@livewithinthedream]

Yes it was great! Made sense and love the confidence in these guys. I watched the interview with Chris today as well and had a fucking revelation. It was weird cause I felt different then saw my soon to be ex wife. Who started texted me a ton after meeting today. My mind is in overload and I gotta sleeeep

[@arthurmiller6083]

@@livewithinthedream any update?

[@livewithinthedream]

@@arthurmiller6083 Hey brother, so she actually started showing interest in what I do as far as going out goes. Responds to texts more often (was zero), and at least now we have conversation. I am experiencing what saboor did in his interview where you start questioning if itas real and wait for the bad. Logically I know I shouldn't do that, just gotta trust my processes to continue to pull me out that hole.

[@cell5066]

Just the title alone is basically my situation. It doesn't matter if she's/he's dating someone else, if yall have nothing keeping yall tgt, never been married, no kids etc. If you see others becoming such a great partner and the kind of relationships they can create, don't you want to become that person? That's my motto, I want to become the best person for whoever I meet and interact with in my life. I can never go back seeing what is really possible

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

The ironic part - If you change yourself to get an outcome, your changes will seem so in-genuine, and ironically, will never get the outcome. When you learn to LOVE the process of change intrinsically, without any expectation of an outcome, the outcome falls to you. This is why clients like Elisa keeps having better outcomes fall to them :)

[@cell5066]

​@GeoffreySetiawan so simply wanting to be like them, is aiming for an outcome

[@DangerOUSXD666]

Awesome to hear both yalls growth! Funny as a single person looking to be better hearing all these partners being interested in the program really shows that lot's of people are willing to learn and grow for themselves. It really shows the power of the program and what yall teach! Your not just repairing relationships, you are healing people! I'm definitely interested in joining to just take more control of my life and lead it with confidence. Even just the KZbin videos itself planting the seed of different interpretations(within myself) and viewing things with diff paradigms has been eye opening. So much to learn!

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Would be honored to help!

[@DangerOUSXD666]

@@GeoffreySetiawan It'd be a privilege! Over a year now of seeing your content and I've learned so much! Seeing everyone's inspiring battles with themselves to just growing and being better really showed there was more to your channel under building a fulfilling relationship. The internal shift series still has to be some of my favorite videos and I STILL watch them to do auto suggestions how I can lol. Tbh I was always hesitant on applying cause of the singleness but I'll def save for it!

[@alecmcd8536]

This is one of the best client interviews to date. (I feel like I say this every time a new one comes out. Lol) I’m still curious though, when will the in depth series on the frameworks come out? Also when will the podcast with your wife get published with examples on how to lead conversations with the same frameworks? Looking forward to both, and hope you’re enjoying your travels. Europe, sounds like allot of fun.

[@Freskko]

Fuck man I was looking for one like this. Your timing!! I rewatch hers all the time.

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

I got you fam!😉

[@Galeb11]

Thank you, Geoffrey. Your videos are very helpful. My ex has completely lost feelings for me and sees me as a friend. Now she’s traveling around the world, maybe even chatting with someone, and I can’t stop thinking about it. Do you have any suggestions on what I should do?

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Have you watched my internal shift series? After you watch that, tell me what the issue is here.... I mean, do you really think that of the 5,000+ clients I have, you're the only one who feels this? :)

[@Galeb11]

​@@GeoffreySetiawan I have already watched Internal Shift series as you were uploading them. Obviously, I should start over again :) As you said, they are relatively easy to understand conceptually, but hard to do it experientially and specifically. I am not sure but I think one of the issues is that I still have the same mindset that initially turned her away from me which is a deep insecurity in myself that I am trying to hide. That's why I am acting covertly needy, because of lack of safety, lack of control, lack of approval and trust. Also, I have some combination of mind viruses: self flagellation illusion, urgency illusion, lack of opportunities illusion, allergy to resistance, FAE bias. I know for sure I'm not the only one. Before, I watched other videos on this topic as well, and they say that you need to create value for your ex to come to you, that you shouldn’t be too available, and that she need to feel like she could lose you. After watching your videos, I feel that’s not entirely true unless you do the work on making yourself irreplaceable and capable of building all five pillars for sake of yourself. Otherwise, it is manipulation and it is not genuine and she can feel that. However, it’s challenging when you’re not sure how to apply that in specific situations while having blind spots and falling for mind viruses. Also, maybe it is because I don't know material very well and I don't practice it enough.

[@FateUnbound5]

Hello Geoffrey, this may seem out of place but I've been dating this girl for a year a few months already and it was good, but these days she's been acting cold and told me she can't love me if she doesn't love herself, I've tried everything to see if we can work things out, do you have any tips? Also she has a friend who's a guy who she texts even more than me since we're on a break, do you know how I can win her heart? We've been together through everything, it really hurts man :(

[@HECTORTHESONOFGOD]

What if we have a kid we been together for 9yrs and I sometimes would mess up and cheat but we would get back we were into the things of god everything was good but I ended up never being home always gym church or work then home and eat. Never paid her attention and 1 1/2month ago I ended up falling and cheating on her and she seen my phone and thought I had sex with her cousin. So I ended up moving out to my moms and last Sunday I ended up finding out she was hanging out with someone else he is a so called Christian. Well yeah we talked and she said they been txting for 2-4 weeks and hung out one (that Sunday) and that she was in love and loves the way he makes her feel? What can I do do I still have a chance?

[@levivanhorn8657]

7 weeks in and we were doing great. Instagrams and selfies. Then she expressed that I can’t do anything on my own and that’s one of the reasons we broke our 9 year partnership. I admittedly panicked and started to convince her why that’s wrong and why I think we could make this work, even tho I knew better that to do that. It taught me that I hadn’t untethered as much as I thought. Is my mistake irreversible? Please help

[@Nuez234]

Very easy. If you know the process, you should know how to approach it.

[@CiMcM135]

Ok but what about when its 100% ZERO contact going on 3 months from a dismissive avoidant

[@GeoffreySetiawan]

Ok, what about it? We have discussed zero contact situations in many interviews, such as with Ian, Eve, Michael, and Scott. We have recently made a few videos for zero contact situations. You might also want to check out the danger of labeling others with labels like "dismissive avoidant". Watch my videos on attachment styles.

[@CiMcM135]

@GeoffreySetiawan oh, wow. Thanks you. And thanks for the reply!

[@CiMcM135]

@GeoffreySetiawan I meant as in, how can you start any of this process if he hasn't even contacted me. He's just diving into work. But I will check out those videos.

[@helloworld1712]

.. I would have left him

[@livewithinthedream]

I can understand this perspective too. Yet that mindset is part of why relationships fail so frequently. “She did this so I’ll do this”, “he acts like this so I’ll do this”.

[@elisabompadre8]

I want to add that our relationship continues to improve on every level with him slowly coming closer: confiding in me more, connecting to me more, exploring future possibilities with me as he transitions to med school (he got in!). I am able to listen to him patiently, without judgement and with an open mind- even when he is telling me his tough truths. He has repeatedly complimented me on what an amazing job I am doing of listening to him and understanding him while also expressing my own needs. I’m so glad I didn’t give up..

[@livewithinthedream]

@@elisabompadre8 I am honestly super happy for you. That is amazing news, and the hard work as clearly paid off. I personally think it is worth the effort, especially when you love someone and know yourself how much work needed to be done. That is how a true and deep connection is formed