How to SURVIVE your 20s.

[@jesstina2932]

i cannot tell you how badly i needed to hear this today. i broke down crying in my car on my way home from a sandwich shop because at 25 i’m going through my second cross country move in 9 months, still processing the break up from a 5.5 year relationship that happened a year ago, dipping my toe in the dating world, experiencing drifting in lifelong friendships, struggling to form new genuine connections, and desperately trying to understand what route my life could go where i don’t end up sad and alone forever. i just don’t feel like i belong anywhere. i feel simultaneously content/excited for possibility and absolutely terrified. so i needed this today. thank you.

[@SF-op5ix]

So sorry you’re dealing with this. Not easy and your pain is not imaginary.

[@binimuina]

Ooof at 25 I could have written your post myself ! I can really empathise! From 20-26 I moved country 3 times, ended up back in my mother’s house (with whom I clashed a bit) twice... I failed at some really important things 😢, had my plans turned into ash, had my heart broken very badly, lost friends, gained friends, lost direction completely.. All in all i felt so beat up and untrusting of my own decisions. It took time but as I got into my later 20s things started to gradually slot into place. My decision felt less rocky, and I set goals which I achieved and started feeling sure of myself. I met my (now) husband at 30 and we have built something really good together and life is so sweet. What I believe is that our brains aren’t fully developed in our early 20s and it takes some trial and error, and some tough knocks for a lot of us, to get the cart onto the correct tracks and start seeing a smoother happier life emerge. It seems tough when you’re in the middle of it and it probably feels a bit hollow to hear this from a stranger.. but as a ghost of Christmas future I’m here to tell you it (often) gets better !!! Keep moving gently and steadily on.. ul be ok xxx❤

[@ghosty22xx]

i’m 22 rn and feeling the same way. you’re not alone ❤

[@Sssilentlaugh]

Quarter life crisis

[@jozefinszasz7038]

Feeling the same at 24

[@megand576]

I’m in my 30’s now but in my 20’s I started telling myself a saying “people aren’t against you, they are just for themselves”. It truly helped me get through many, many tough moments.

[@shannonceleste5557]

Daaamn thank you sm for sharing this 💜💜💜 I’ll try and keep it in mind

[@poppyren8609]

yes and no. some people thrive by being mean without reasons etc...

[@Mel_leit]

I’m 57, I have to tell you guys….there is no way in Hell I ever want to go back to my twenties! It was soooo hard! Trust us elderly (😂) peeps, it does get easier. Love your insights, Caroline.

[@Caroline_Winkler]

hahha i love this so much thank you !

[@sarummi]

In my 20s I was still full of hope and careless. Now in my 40s I lost my hope, and Im bitter as it gets...

[@kristinrichmond8185]

You’re absolutely right! I’m 49 and I like myself so much more now than ever before. Also I don’t sweat the small stuff, the older I get. Last lesson, I ALMOST don’t care what others think of me hahah

[@moonhunter9993]

Yeah, I'm 52 and I agree. 20s sucked.

[@sherylprice6683]

I'm 58, and yeah. My 20's are not something I'd want to revisit.

[@lyrianalee5062]

I'm in my 30s, but I'm still gonna watch this because it's Caroline and honestly, she gives some of the best advice. I bet I still learn something.

[@tiffanycave5974]

Right❤

[@tiffanycave5974]

U real girl. ❤🎉 That's why we watch you no bs.

[@Caroline_Winkler]

i am extremely touched to read this, AND i'll say this....it's very much easier said than done. of course. lots of these items are things i am still actively trying to get better at. Be nice to you, it takes time 💕

[@amandalabrecque8566]

Literally just turned 30 yesterday… this is still so relevant. Thank you Caroline! ❤

[@Megan6772]

Same!

[@Bandgazebo]

When I was 12 my mom went law school. She was already an RN, in her late 30s, and just decided hey lets just change everything up. Then she graduated and it honestly was no time before she was caught up to her peers that had done law right out of the gate in their 20s. That was SUCH a lesson to me about the timeline of life. Adulthood is lonnnng, the type you set in your 20s isn't in permanent ink.

[@terimcgibney4930]

Wow, your last statement, "the type you set in your 20s isn't in permanent ink", is very insightful and true. (from a 63 year old).

[@moonhunter9993]

Very true statement.

[@TaliaCastilleja]

That's a cool thing your mom did! I have another example. I met a Korean war veteran named Paul Turley when I joined Stand Up for Peace Wyoming in Laramie in the 2000s. Paul had been told by his mother as a kid that he couldn't take gymnastics because "that's for girls." But one day, Paul was driving by the gymnastics school in his 70s and he thought about how much he wanted to try it, and turned into the parking lot and took his first class. He became a star student and was often seen doing backflips at the park during festivals to advertise the gymnastics school. Paul has been a huge inspiration to me that you can keep trying new things and reinventing yourself right up to the end.

[@jordynlillibridge2769]

Yes! My mom totally switched careers and went back to school in her 40s. It really helped me not put so much pressure on myself. You can change things at anytime.

[@LayZeeChill]

How inspiring ❤

[@missmagic707]

I remember going through a really rough time around 27 and my mom's friend in her late 50's just said "How old are you?...oh honey you couldn't pay me to go through my 20's again, it's such a rough time of uncertainty and the pressure! You'll be ok, it gets better, give it time and be kind to yourself. You don't even know who you are yet, be patient and believe me life just gets better with experience" - I cannot explain how much more helpful this was then being dismissed or one-upped. Being seen is vital.

[@latenitetubing]

That is super encouraging of her; I’m 35 and feel it’s just getting worse each month. The “experience” making life better is hopeful to think about. Right now my experiences are just causing me so much pain that it is hard to believe I will ever want to be here.

[@xw7450]

As I'm nearing the ends of my 20s, I'm focused on cultivating peace and self-compassion. So much of my 20s was spent succumbing to imaginary pressures and feeling restricted from the grief that comes with perceived failures. It's very liberating once you actualize that there is no expiration date on living in a way that's fulfilling to you; it's just waiting to be created.

[@Caroline_Winkler]

absolutely amazing advice. wish id included this. love it

[@liamino4358]

So good!

[@HappyHarryX5]

You are so far ahead of the game. Awesome!

[@nakitanash]

That was well put and even though I’m in my forties, retro- relieving to read 😅

[@jillsisco2308]

I made my 20's harder cuz I got wrapped up in "meeting milestones". Gotta get that job, that house, that husband, that family, etc. Find joy in YOUR journey whatever your age. Thanks Caroline for another great video. ❤U

[@sarahlacorte1364]

I am almost 32 and I think a part of me is still trying to get over how disappointing most of my 20s were. I made so many mistakes (got stuck in an abusive relationship for 5 years), spent SO much time alone, spent so much time in shitty jobs I hated, spent so much time feeling aimless and like I wasn't meeting the right milestones. I didn't really start getting it all together until I was like 28. At this point I am just thankful for the current state of my health and trying to not take it all so seriously anymore.

[@siscodisco]

I feel like 28 is a big turning point for a lot of people. I’m 32 and 28 is when I and so many others I know started making big changes.

[@cassinipanini]

i think this experience is a lot more common than you might expect. i know its my own experience too. i feel like in your 20s you dont know how to live your life yet, you simply dont have the skills, interpersonal, professional, mental, emotional, all of it. and by the time you reach your 30s you finally get the hang of things and can make active improvements and you have finally gained that vocabulary to begin articulating your own needs, when in your 20s you didnt even know what your needs were yet. all this to say, #same lmao

[@Caroline_Winkler]

it truly is a time i would never go back to haha. it was so much stumbling, but the more i talk to people about their 20s, the more it sounds like *the stumbling IS the thing*. it's why we land in our 30s a little better off with a little better sense of self. Thank god. but yeah, it was not a hilarious time for me haha

[@almag0410]

Amen to all of this! Im glad to hear that 20’s suck for allot of people. Really lifts some shame.

[@SaraMuzi]

I'm 32 too and 28 was my turning point (it didn't seem at that time but it was). My mid twenties were *not fun* I was paralysed by mental health challenges, loneliness, shitty jobs and lack of direction. I like to believe it was all necessary but I still wish it didn't feel like a waste

[@dancersinger55555]

Man…. I forgot how dramatic my twenties were. Every decision was so stressful because every decision felt like it was going to change the course of my life. 30s are where it is at in my opinion!

[@birdwellbrown5391]

My twenties were terrifying. I was rewarded for living through them with my forties, which were perfectly lovely. It's amazing how things can change for the better.

[@roguecodes]

As someone who recently aged into their mid 20s, I feel like covid stole like 3 years of my life from me and now I’m back at square one of trying to “be in my twenties” and hit all the milestones I feel like I was supposed to hit earlier. The expectations, real or perceived, are killing me

[@Caroline_Winkler]

oof, that is a hard one to process i bet. does anything help? id love to hear

[@Alexa-uk8lj]

You are still in the game. Take some time make a plan or two and keep going.

[@Honeybadgerrs]

i spent 21 working 3 jobs, celebrated my 22nd birthday and we shut down a couple weeks after... im 25 now. its weird.

[@musicsummer129]

Ah, I relate to this so much!!! 25 and i feel the same way.

[@roguecodes]

@@Caroline_Winkler I’m still trying to figure it out tbh! Lots of therapy and trying to ground myself with reasonable short term goals instead of trying to rush and accomplish what I “should” be doing have been the main things (and realizing what’s actually realistic for me to accomplish now that I’m a real adult without the structure of school has been a big part of that).

[@Agk9772]

As someone in my 40s, I can definitely say that my 20s was the worst, and then it got better in my 30s and the 40s have been awesome! Hang in there! Love this video

[@Caroline_Winkler]

love love esp hearing that 40s have been so great!!! thank you for sharing this and your experience 💕it's really helpful to many

[@claremiller9979]

Hah I'm nearly 40 and came here to say the same thing. The older you get the fewer effs you give and, hopefully, the more you know about who you are.

[@victoriaoliver9958]

Yes! I'm 47, feel 27 and love being in my forties. I'm have so much more self-acceptance/compassion.

[@TaliaCastilleja]

For me the 30s were better than the 20s and 40s better than 30s so far.

[@KnitsFromTheVoid]

To everyone like me who wishes they got this advice in their 20s: It's still good advice now, you can always turn a fresh page and start doing the things you wish you had done earlier in your life.

[@lorrainethomas241]

I'm in my 60s and can lay down an 'amen' on all of this. My daughter is almost out of her twenties, but I'm still sharing this with her. Also, as a new subscriber, I have literally spent the entire day watching your channel. (Except for when I was creating a gallery on a sad wall in my living room because you inspired me. Then , said activity had me making a collage and framing a postcard to fill out the gallery...because you inspired me.)

[@Caroline_Winkler]

BAH. immediately a favorite comment. 1 - i hope something resonates for your daughter! it's really hard to watch your 20 yr old loved ones go through it. 2- i am DELIGHTED that you had a video binge day. 3 - i am HONORED that you made a gallery wall. ty for the killer comment

[@marysp4488]

I’m 46, love your channel ❤

[@dawntownsend7828]

I’m in my 60’s. I feel that what’s really helped me in life is to not have major expectations about how you think life will be ‘when you get the career job, get married, live in the right city …..’. Just live and take advantage of what comes. Always stay curious, be flexible ……….

[@patriciafuchs5970]

Everything at every age is hard. Except watching you. That’s pleasure.

[@Caroline_Winkler]

i will allow this exception

[@nancykintner9177]

In my 80's and still trying to figure out lots of stuff❤😂😅😊

[@Caroline_Winkler]

haha i think that means you're doing it right 😉we're always learning. or at least i think that's the goal. you're killing it

[@misscrackwood]

A song I really like has a line that says ''I know I'm a work in progress, and I would like to stay that way''. We're never done with growing and learning :)

[@sherryg1838]

“It’s not personal,” yes! I wish I had realized that in my 20’s. I started learning it in my 30’s, but it has taken until my 60’s to really stick. One of the hardest things about the 20’s is that we are usually at our physical best, especially health wise, but we are too anxious about everything else to enjoy it.

[@JillKnapp]

I'm 52. And my 20s were the hardest. You're still learning. You're trying stuff on. You're figuring out who you are. You're still new at life. There are a million things you've never done before, yet people expect you to be perfect at it. Give yourself some grace. Think of your 20s like a fitting room at a store. You can't know what will fit, look good, or work together until you try shit on. My (unsolicited) advice: Think of what you're passionate about, and volunteer with a group that does that. You'll be surrounded by like-minded, generous people who want to help you and who are happy you're there. Instant mentors, instant community. Learn from people who are already doing the thing you're interested in. Bonus: by volunteering, you're making the world better, and that will make you feel great. You got this!

[@kathrynmccarthy]

I'm 29, about to turn 30, and I'm so feeling this! I felt like all through my 20s I was coasting along, and then it's as if I woke up one day and my subconscious was screaming at me "you haven't done this! Why didn't you do this earlier in your 20s?!?" and "you were supposed to experience this in your 20s why haven't you experienced this yet?!" etc. etc. So this video is really helpful to remind myself that I'm still in it, and just because I'm about to turn 30 doesn't mean my life is ending. Also my craft while watching and thinking deep thoughts is sewing a pair of lounge shorts. 💕

[@Caroline_Winkler]

i totally get that feeling! fwiw, everyone always said 30s were way more fun (i feel like i saw celebs saying this all the time in tabloids???) and every time id read that i was like "wtf happens at 30 that all these people are so much happier then?" And......i found it to be completely true. so, okay, i didnt have the most fantastic 20s...but my current years are so fun. your life is not ending! you probably have a way better sense of self, and i bet you're about to face a ton of joy like all those weirdo celebrities :)

[@heidiv5720]

I will be 42 soon. Life is hard all the way through, i think. But for me it has gotten easier, because the older i get the less others expectations and judgments of me matter. Its becoming much easier to listen to my internal compass rather than all the "shoulds"... it feels a lot like freedom. If i can make it through my 20s, there's hope for everyone else! 😅

[@ModdyPuppets]

Spot on. 38 year old here and I agree with so much of what you said in this video. Wild that I’m on my 18th anniversary of being 20 😅 it goes fast, but parts do drag. Viewing your life as a movie really helps get through the tough parts that are the “conflict” in the story. The tough parts do eventually end, though not all are resolved the way you hope they would. There are so many surprises and happy moments to come! One thing I wish I had learned sooner was how to be happy for others and rejoice with them in their joys instead of jealously wishing I could be the one announcing a trip, a new job, a promotion, an engagement, or a pregnancy. Practice feeling happy, truly happy for your friends’ joys. It enriches both your lives and makes the friendship so much sweeter ☺️

[@Caroline_Winkler]

yes, viewing it as the conflict part of the movie!! i feel comically narcissistic in moments doing it haha...but hey it helps get through the crap times

[@randomkatherine]

I'm currently 26 years old and it took me a solid minute to remember if I'm 25 or 26, this stage of life really is a blur. Being so busy and also feeling like you're never doing enough. I'm especially thankful for the working on friendships advice. It's so hard to make friends outside of work and I'm giving up on waiting for it to happen "organically".

[@belleangehrs83]

Salutations, young people. I just turned 40 and have been very much reflecting on my life 20 years ago. I think that, especially in the times we're living in, being in your 20s is hard. I call it being "an adult with training wheels." There are so many expectations, yet you don't really know what the heck is going on or what you're doing. You are trying to figure out what "the real world" is and who you are/want to be in it. I remember feeling like if I didn't "make it" by the time I turned (insert 20-something age), I was never going to make it. The good news is: you have time. If you make a decision and it doesn't work out, you can change your mind. I know everything seems so BIG right now, but I promise you, you can, and you will get through it. ❤

[@katherinetaylor5638]

I'm 22 years old, I just graduated from college and i'm taking a gap year before (probably-maybe) going back to school. I'm in a period of transition that terrifies me immensely and constantly. This video is exactly what I needed and I'm so grateful to you for making it. It's like you're talking to me directly, telling me all the things I know but forget to cling to: stop overthinking everything, it's not personal, stay present, seek fulfillment instead of happiness, invest in the right people. Thank you for being awesome and taking care of the community you've built here

[@Caroline_Winkler]

girl! i took a gap year as well. when i graduated high school (2009) NO ONE had ever taken a gap year from my high school and the teachers were really opposed to the idea. AND i will say it was an intensely challenging year for me....and it gave me most of the skills that i have now - around learning to be alone in a new place, new environment, fend for yourself...all the things that im sure you are craving and will receive. im excited for you. and from what you wrote, it already sounds like you're doing a great job. good luck

[@katherinetaylor5638]

agh thank you that means so much!!! i feel better knowing that this period in life is a struggle for me because it’s a struggle for everyone lol. think im gonna get the transcript of this vid tatted on my forearm as a reminder to chill tf out

[@amandamoss7892]

One thing I'd add... investing in the right relationships. That also means the one with yourself! Giving myself grace has been my mantra for the last 2 years (I'm 29)

[@atuvera9021]

i´'m drowning in anxiety at this point in my life, i have no money for therapy, no friends, no passions... Listening to Caroline speak about these things so clearly and direct really helps, i actually feel like i'm keeping it things together even when i don't wanna admit it. Thank you so much, caroline.❤

[@judypeterson803]

Have a vision for what you THINK will make you happy and stop the drowning. Once you have a vision, you can write down small steps to get there. Keep those steps positive (like DON'T say things like " be less anxious" or "stop doing 'blank'". Write what you CAN do and WANT to do. Anything is possible. Ben Franklin said the constitution says we all have the right of pursuit of happiness. But we are still responsible for catching it. I heard that on the Ramsey show the other day and it made me think, for sure. It seems relevant for you. No pressure, just decide.

[@atuvera9021]

@@judypeterson803 true, i actually can't believe how well i handled today. I had so much to do, i started feeling like anxiety was coming but i did it anyways. It's just that i'm at that stage of hopelessness that is eating me from the inside... I know things will get better. I know i was happy and i can be again. Thank you for taking time and reply 💖

[@annatomlinson1529]

Some seasons are just about surviving but not all of them will be ❤ Baby steps

[@judypeterson803]

@@atuvera9021 I hope you've made some progress over the last few weeks! Sometimes time is all we need. Rooting for you! 🤗

[@iRubyJ]

I’m 27, my early 20s were chaos but I feel like I’m finally pulling through. What Caroline said about friendship is so true. Invest time into good people; they will pick you up when you fall and the right ones can fulfill you more than romantic relationships in some cases. Good luck to everyone who’s experiencing the chaos right now, I promise that it does get better.

[@Anna-wo9gb]

I’m a 23 yr old living on my own and working a career job for the first time. I think I’m doing alright so far! Dating is kind of a disaster bc I know what I want and I will not settle for someone who will hinder me from achieving my dreams, but I have hope for the future. I keep family close, I’m taking myself on dates. It feels reassuring to hear your experience and how it’s more of a lonely time. It put things into perspective for me the other day when a coworker in her 50s told me she wishes she could just be like me and live on her own with her own space. She’s happily married and has kids, but hearing that I have a life someone desires really brought me back to reality to enjoy this strange time I have in my 20s.

[@yalazha]

I'm internally crying over here, because I am 30 now and you somehow nailed the hardest struggles from my 20's. To the point where it was almost uncomfortable making it through the video! Putting all your eggs in a basket like career, putting in the work to be less isolated, ESPECIALLY "it is not personal" when people leave or move on. Having grace for myself was one of the hardest things to do. This is a very well thought out video. I'm almost mad that it relates to me so much. Also, love the crafting! It was fun watching you craft while you talk.

[@noelc2]

Craft & a Heart to heart …. ❤ always a good thing. 🎉I will say once I hit about 31, I was like “whew! Thank God my 20s are over” 😊 I felt like a totally different person, in a good way. My small piece of advice that seems against the modern thought process: keep serving others & keep your eyes off yourself. You’ll never find it there. Do something with purpose, find a way to volunteer (rescue mission, an animal or children’s charity) My mom, even when we were dirt poor, was the lady handing out sandwiches on the corner. It seems like weird advice, but I think people get in trouble now by hyper focusing on self. ❤

[@colleenreidy1186]

I just turned 30!!! And YESSS each decade has its own challenges. 20s are especially hard because you’re still finding yourself and losing the community of school/college/etc is incredibly difficult!! I love how these videos always feel like talking to a wise, good friend 🥰

[@abluelark]

I'm 29 now, and it's not until the past year or so where I have felt somewhat stable. I grew up in a cult and escaped at 25...then it's been a few years of learning to stand on my own two feet. In a way, I think I'm in my early twenties now because I was held back from so much. Thanks for the advice!

[@k8schmate]

Glad you got out!

[@victoriaoliver9958]

I relate so much. Was in a high demand church culture until age 27 and had to move to another state and start over. I feel a decade behind...but not in a bad way anymore. (I'm 47 now).

[@starklingspars8956]

I 100% needed to hear all this and I'm 42. The sadness of the 20's....was traumatic. I remember a 64 year old lady telling me at the time my Mum was dying " it will only get harder" ( referring to life) . Here's the thing. It did not get harder. When people assume they know what your oife will be like, or that they know how hard it has been, it is stupid. 30's was great. 40's will be better I imagine. Sometimes I just want to tell that woman how wrong she was lol You had so much good advice in this and the crafting was fun to watch. Especially the wrapping the cover of the book! I started a novel today amd was feeling down after I made the mistale of reading my pages. This video helped me feel so much more ok and take a deep breath . Thankyou :)

[@janecherrytree]

As a 24 year old who is just starting therapy, I'm always glad to hear that it gets better. I never want to lose the hope that it gets better 😊

[@KelsiieBoyd]

Caroline, I have to say that your videos really help me feel not so alone. I currently live by myself, in a huge city, extremely far from where I was raised, so naturally I don’t have as many friends here and boy let me tell you that shit is lonely. I have like one good friend where I live now and no family. So, when I see your videos pop up, I love to put them on while I’m at home cooking or whatever. It feels like a friend is here with me doing normal day to day things and it’s very nice! Thanks for your videos, sincerely girl in here late 20’s trying to make it.

[@Caroline_Winkler]

oh god. i feel that in my CHEST. i have been there, that shit IS lonely. I like to speak to those life phases because i have been through so many of them. it's not a reflection of you, nor of the connection you are capable of having in your life. it's just a weird chapter in your life temporarily. and im glad the videos bring some relief

[@Nicole-Leigh]

"Miracles strike." At 47, this resonated with me deeply. I can tell you this is so very true. Don't give up on anything, especially yourself before your miracle happens. Miracles do strike and often they happen when you feel you have exhausted everything. Keep going. Go easy on yourself and others. It's okay to fail, in fact it's necessary. Just fail forward and keep trying. Leave a little room for patience and hope.

[@kristinambrose]

I 100% needed this. I've been crying all day about being lonely and never feeling close enough to people and taking everything personally. Now I'm laughing about how normal of a feeling this is, but WOW I thought being in my 20's would feel so much more sophisticated and less emotional and turbulent than being a teen, but ALAS LOL

[@katjavermeltfoort6279]

I’m in my 50s and loved this video. I went through my 20s 30 years ago and had the same experience. I was trying to navigate my life in the same way. I’m telling you, life is way better beyond your 20s, especially when you’re in your 50s. My kids are independent, I’m financially established and I have time to reinvent myself and start a new chapter in my life.

[@rebekahzammit6482]

Ahh I really needed this today. I'm 25, just ended a 6 year relationship and had to call off my wedding, having a very difficult time with my work place, I'm sick every week because the stress is taking a toll on my body, and people who should be my friends just vanished when I needed them. I have no idea what I should be doing with my life now, I poured all my energy into a wedding that won't happen and a job that has destroyed my self esteem. I know I need to be the one to take that step forward and see what life has to offer but it's so scary now that everything I've worked on for over two years has collapsed.

[@Alexa-uk8lj]

My 20s were so terrible I spent my 30s overweight and in a deep depression. Finally coming out of it. Stay strong kids.

[@Nancetha]

I’m 30 in 12 days and needed to see this. I feel very lonely and behind in life; I don’t have many friends, the ones I do have I feel I’m growing apart from, and the ones I did have ghosted me; I left a job that I thought would be my career but it destroyed my health; I don’t have a relationship but don’t desire one after so many bad experiences and wanting to be on my own so much. This helped - thank you.

[@skyer0blue]

You're like the big sister I never had. I'm turning 30 next year and you make me feel so much better about starting a new decade.

[@LuckySerranoCeramics]

27 and my life has been transitional phases after the other, I had cancer in my early 20’s and that just drove me insane after I went into remission and trying to speed run all the achievements of life because even if I knew I was gonna be okay the death anxiety hit me like a truck, it’s one I still grapple with. Nowadays I have a lot of gratitude for the situationship I cut off super early because I stopped clinging to things that aren’t for me, I can take my time and things really have only gotten better with time, it’s videos like these that give me these little reminders and I thank you for making this type of video, it’s incredibly appreciated.

[@hanjnk]

Can I just say that I don’t know you but I’m proud. I’ve had health issues myself but cancer is something that no age is prepared for but the fact you are going through some of the hardest years of your life, along with cancer on top of it, is something to be seen. ♥️

[@emmawinchell8694]

girl you've been reading my help mail. thank you for the tenderness, precision, and badass illumination that is this video. also, editing is sublime. i'm just entering my 20s crisis and this was a great comfort.

[@Caroline_Winkler]

"reading my help mail" 😭im so glad the video came at the right time. there will be lots of good ahead for you! i think it definitely helps just to have a more realistic expectation of what the 20s contain for so many. thank you for such an extremely lovely comment. i have a feeling you're going to do just fine 💕big hug

[@friky111x100]

For me my 20s were all about learning about myself, learning that I do in fact think the same as a lot of adults (I thought I never would), and I'm ok with it. Choosing to compromise instead of fighting for something I might want a little more, just to make life easier... it's less satisfying, but also less emotionally exhausting, and though I thought I would never compromise, I do, because I prefer not riding the emotional rollercoaster. So I choose to find happiness in something else, I work on it until it becomes real and true. And I am truthfully and honestly fine and happy with my choice. I don't feel guilty, I do me 😊

[@T207ra]

I am 16 and most of those advice help me now already. I never put much value in socializing and it always left me feel lonely and isolated. I like the idea of treating it like a job.

[@HappyHarryX5]

Starting over in my 50s and this is great advice for any age. Often wish I could relive the last 30yrs but I wouldn’t if I had to give up the healing and knowledge I’ve gained in the last 6yrs. Enjoy life at all ages!

[@spacesandy3410]

I usually don't watch videos like these cause I find that the advice is usually pretty generic. But something compelled me to watch this one and yknow what, the points made in were actually pretty profound and I love your delivery as usual. Great touch with the arts and crafts going on throughout the video, I've never seen that before.

[@KloeRosee]

I’m 22. I’m married. I’m in nursing school. You are describing my life right now. It’s hard. It sucks like 70% of the time tbh, and it just feels like life is moving faster than I am. Thank you for this, Caroline. You’re the realest and make me feel a whole lot more normal and understood. And your content is top tier. Keep it up. I love you. ❤️

[@KloeRosee]

I’m also about to graduate in December and am TERRIFIED for what’s next even though I feel like I should be excited.. the fear of change and the unknown is FR. So I appreciate your tid bit on that.

[@hanjnk]

You’re married?? Jesus! I can’t even get a bf 😂

[@merrimcarthur7198]

Navigating your 20's IS hard! You're going from being a child, with people to take care of everything for you (mostly), to figuring out how to adult! You find out adulting is not what you thought it would be. You get frustrated that it's not one giant and eternal party. You have to be responsible for yourself....and sometimes for "littles". It is absolutely not easy. My heart goes out to those in their 20's all the time. You could not pay me enough to go back to that age. Nope. Nope. Nope. Btw, I turn 69 in a couple weeks...and I still think my 20's was the toughest era of my life.

[@frannader2739]

I'm 70. I've given advice to many people in their 20's. It's always the same. " Enjoy and appreciate your Twenties. They'll go by quickly. Appreciate the age you are today." I am still reminding myself of that, with gratitude, on every new birthday. Also you will change your mind on many things that used to seem resolute.

[@rickandteribedell4350]

So true about cha going your mind on things. I feel that a lot lately at almost fifty.

[@MidnightPavilion94]

I am 29, studied, got married, graduated, worked during the pandemic as a teacher and then quit after three years and now staying at home (mutual decision) to hopefully next year start a family and while I am super grateful it is something to mourn your career, adapt to not having friends in town, stay at home in a relatively small city with little opportunities for casual classes/ places to interact, and wondering if you should have went out and had more fun when now you’re going to be a mom. It feels like a ticking time bomb- 30s and being a mom. I know I’ll get through it but being seen is nice Caroline. Thank you.

[@vanessawhitneypro]

I'm an old... But, I remember... Yep... 20s were rough... Much love & thanks always for speaking up... It helps more than you know! Peace.

[@vanessawhitneypro]

p.s. Holy Poop... Colorado is my home state... Just noticed your sweatshirt! LOL! Cheers!

[@Caroline_Winkler]

ahh i do appreciate hearing this from people! my parents and friends older than me always reported the same. so it seems like it's true for many if not most! im really glad, and colorado is great :)

[@auds9738]

I'm 24. Your advice resonates with my experience and i somewhat knew a lot of it to be true already, but it feels so important have someone who's gone through it tell it to me again and in more detail. You're like the older sister i never had. Much love, and thank you The Middle is also one of my favourite get-through-it songs!

[@Caroline_Winkler]

the sweetest kind of feedback i could receive. 💕anything i learned was either from my own stumbling experience, or wisdom shared from people older or wiser than me. so it feels important to pass it along. sending you a big hug, hang in there

[@caitlinfoster9508]

What you said about happiness is something I've been learning recently at 27. I realized that basically everything I've done in my 20s has been for the pursuit of happiness in my life and it's just unachievable. I find that happiness / contentment comes in waves and then things change, as you said. I have always had a difficult time with change, so I'm still trying to figure it out! Thanks for this thoughtful video, Caroline! ❤

[@judypeterson803]

I agree that our lifetime is a series of transitions. I've only realized it over the past few years after I became a widow. I can look back at a series of chunks of time that were distinctly different from the last. Obviously, I survived them all, and thankfully, I enjoyed most. I'm working very hard at being completely well rounded and fulfilled during this upcoming decade. I'm finally ready to live again. You're right: I learned it's not personal.

[@theGhostSteward]

People always tell me how great your teenage years must be, and all the American shows with teen groups and clubs I didn't have access to, but for me,it only meant suffering with a chronic mental health disease that almost take my life (multiple times!) And got undiagnosed till my mid 20's. You don't know HOW GOOD it is to listen to you right now!❤

[@amandagraham2626]

I’m 46 & I agree with you. Your 20s are hard as hell! Life is so much simpler for me now. I’m sharing this with all 3 of my kiddos. They’re 26, 25 & 20. I love love love your videos!! I’ve learned a lot from you. You are wise beyond your years. ❤

[@DomesticKrys]

I’m 38, and I always appreciate the perspective you share. I truly believe this is all a part of the human condition regardless of age. I’m certainly going through things now that you’re mentioning as being part of the 20’s and I appreciate the advice. 😘

[@kellarz]

The Big Sister talk I didn't know I needed as I near the end of my 20s and have been overwhelmed with guilt, regret, and shame at my mistakes and missteps. Feeling a bit better now after watching 🧡

[@ingestrauss3826]

SO GLAD to hear you refer to the reaching out, coffee dates, and going out to socialize as something unpleasant - because it feels like so much effort!! Wanting to lie down with a book all day instead of going out and asking someone "how are things?" and sitting 2 hours listening to them and replying....ugh. It does pay off, it really does, but its still tiring in the moment

[@annaadoue2763]

Imagine how cool is this, I am 43 and I'm your big fan, but this video is for my daughter that is 19, so you covered both! Thank you, love and blessings from Mexico.

[@ryeofoatmeal]

I'm 29 and gonna end my 20s with amazing experiences. this year I went to 4 concerts. it always been my dream to meet my fave band/artist. I'm grateful that I have this opportunity and also money to buy tickets. our hobby is not cheap so you need some savings. but I'm happy to end this way :) I think starting 27 until now, only then I experience what a good moment is.. I look forward in my 30s with more great memory and experience to achieve. to be fair I don't remember much what I did in my early 20s lol

[@whateverbabe]

That's beautiful! I'm really happy for you. I'm almost 29 and I just want to leave this country to live somewhere better, it would probably be the best thing I ever did.

[@christinafacchini4881]

I don’t usually comment on videos, but you have no idea how this came to me at the right time!! Just moved to a new city at 25, going through my “quarter life crisis”. I don’t have much close family to go to for advice. This advice was so different from anything I heard and it truly spoke to me, my perspective is changed. Thank you so much for all your advice videos Caroline ❤️ Also your smile at the beginning when you said it would be okay was so comforting 🥺

[@hillarymcgee9152]

Currently 20 years old and I’m in uni. I found your videos I think around my birthday over this past summer and I can really say that your videos have given me a fresh perspective and I look forward to seeing more of your video in the future. ❤

[@PretendFashionista]

Just wanted to leave a bunch of hearts for all the people on their 20s 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 love, an old lady that survived her 20s 💞

[@dancingpears]

In my 30s (late 30s even) and I feel like I am just now sort of internalizing this idea that almost nothing is personal. People are juggling so much shit. They are not thinking of you--like you said, for better or for worse. Once you realize this, it can be life-changing.

[@juliemartyn2195]

Caroline I'm in my 60's this advice is still relevant to every stage in life. Thank you for the reminders. Thanks for keeping it real

[@northwoodfalls1403]

Excellent advice. Honestly, I look back and I’m amazed I was as functional as I was in my twenties. Like, at the time I felt like I was waiting for life to start, I felt overwhelmed and inadequate to handle all the things that came at me so fast. Constantly second guessing myself. Feeling anxious to get it all sorted out, have a plan, figure out how to be happy. The nagging FOMO. Now, with distance, I look back and I’m honestly impressed with how well I managed. I have no regrets. I mean, I could do without some of the things that didn’t turn out so great, but on the main, I’m impressed. That’s not to say I didn’t fail and fail spectacularly sometimes. Sure did. But the experience was invaluable. You’re just barely not a child in your twenties. Just because you have so little lived experience which is necessary to build confidence. It takes time to build up the mental and emotional calluses you need to not crumble under the pressures of life. And you have no way of knowing any of that at the time. To all you twentysomethings out there: You’re doing so much better than you think you are. You’ve got this. Listen to Caroline. She’s got you 😉❤

[@michipichi0]

I can't believe you referenced Jimmy Eat World. I listened to The Middle a ton in middle school. Now at 28, almost 29 I relistened to it again this summer. It am struggling so much lately with the realization that my 20s are almost over and I haven't accomplished any of my dreams. No husband or boyfriend, no kids, no career- just a part-time retail job, and still living at my parents house. I did get a bachelor's degree at least.. But even the guy i've been seeing for almost 6 months doesn't want to be my boyfriend because of my lack of financial independence (understandable). I'm trying to get into teaching now, I got a certificate this summer, but I have so much anxiety that I won't be able to make it or anything happen. This video helped so much, i felt like i was starting to go crazy this past week. I will rewatch this again later, thanks Caroline

[@Caroline_Winkler]

i literally had to put the song on this week when i was struggling. its a life saver. and i am so glad the video helped a bit :) hang in there, youre doing great

[@terimcgibney4930]

Thanks Caroline, your thoughts in this video have helped this 63 year old woman, recently retired. Much love to you, you are inspiring.

[@bbonkers]

I wish my 20s old self would have had the chance to listen to this.... I wish a Caroline on her 60's would give life advice on surviving 40s and 50s. All this is brilliant still, not only for the 20s, specially the work for your social life ad go to the parties and do the small talk, etc. It really pays off later, at any age.

[@mariabeaulieu3732]

Change is the only thing we can count on. Still learning this lesson each day 54 years in. I miss my 20’s. I’d do it all over again and I’d wear more short skirts ✨

[@sofiatonti7341]

I randomly found this video and the moment that you started talking I started to cry like a baby. Now I’m 21 and I feel so lost, I hate my city, I hate what I study, i can’t stand anymore some of my friends and I’m so tired to be the girl that everyone want me to be. I constantly feel wrong because I feel like i’m not grateful enough for all the good things that I have. I believe that everything happens for a reason, and everything that you come across in your life is important, if it’s good or bad it doesn’t really matters. What really matters is the lesson that you can learn from it. You explained perfectly what I’m feeling right now and I’m so happy that I’m not alone. Your words touched my soul and I’m so grateful that the universe is helping me somehow. Thank you so much, you are such a pure soul❤️ (Sorry if my English is not perfect, I’m Italian)

[@josepha133]

It's like you intuited that I need this exact video today. You genuinely make the most meaningful content in the most fun and uplifting way.

[@thebougiecoconut6654]

The Middle by Jimmy Eat World was and is my jam too! I’m in my 30s and probably lived by this advice better in my 20s, oddly enough, but this is a great reminder to re-center priorities during this current phase of husband, toddler & career. Keep dropping them pearls of wisdom because all of us, regardless of our ages, can benefit.

[@aquilaaltaire3007]

I'm exiting my 20s in a month, and I just want to soothe the worn down soul of my 20-something self by telling her that it does get better and that you don't have to shove yourself into the backseat to make room for people who don't appreciate you. ❤

[@jkardi9803]

In my 40's, and want to validate that my 20's were the HARDEST decade so far, and that was before there were so many modern difficulties that exist now. I give credit to people in their 20's, you're incredibly strong and capable, even if you don't feel always feel like it.

[@lydiad3575]

I’m seeing this after Caroline’s roast of her first video. I have to say it’s striking how much there is also seeds of what makes your current videos so great. Your honesty and the panache to the videos and just saying what needs to be said.

[@PianistoeTM]

For me, this year is absolutely amazing so far. I turned 23, moved in with my boyfriend of 3 years, finally found a great job where I just got a promotion yesterday. Before all of this I struggled with university, struggled with money (still do sometimes but at least now I have an income), chronic illness and so on… my advice would be that never give up! I was the first one in my friendgroup to “get my life together” yet I still struggle sometimes and have hard times deciding what my future is gonna look like… And may I say that my struggles and having to grow up started 10 years ago because of a disfunctional family. You can get through everything too! I want to marry this guy but hey what if it is never gonna happen? What ifs are always there but just live in the moment and enjoy it while it lasts! :) and work for yourself even if you do not have a goal yet! ❤

[@chloebennett5620]

19 going onto 20 next year, better watch this, especially since it's Caroline giving the advice, you know it's good!

[@linnstromqvist6215]

Recently began university studies in my late 20's and i've been an emotional mess just being in a very young-20's-environment, being reminded of all turmoil I've been through and insecurities I thought I've had control over have just come over me again. Love your videos, it always seems like your videos match my life in general! Thanks!

[@gaslitworldf.melissab2897]

Girl. You are awesome. My 20's were just boring. I was proud and clueless. I miss being young though. I had a nice bod.

[@thehikingcouple]

This video was just a giant hug. Thanks, Caroline :D

[@murmy]

what a treat! i literally just finished watching all of your videos today. i found you last week after searching decor ideas for my upcoming move :) really really love and relate to your morbidity and humor 🖤

[@Caroline_Winkler]

:) i am delighted to connect on morbidity any day

[@judypeterson803]

Oh boy! Once you binge Caroline, you're committed forever!

[@SigneMHenriksen]

I really relate to the part where you talk about losing friends because there isn't a school environment or something to keep it together. I have also been really hurt and trying to cling to those people. I wish this video existed sooner, because now I'm 29 and have been wasting a lot of time dwelling over these things. But I'm glad the video I needed is finally out there! Thanks.

[@marionsimard4223]

You are so creative and how you reflect on life is so relatable and yet intimate. Kudos Caroline !

[@marcopalomino4601]

I'm 24 years old and a young nurse... living in Chicago...thank you for making this video 💙💙💙

[@Kelly-n2z7q]

Thank you for your introspection and sharing from your heart what you have learned. At 48, I'm still taking things way too personally and am trying to learn how not to do it. Thank you for your wise words. And your learned knowledge is beyond your years... lucky us. 😉

[@JulietPisha]

Amen! I'm in my late 50's and this is so true even though I feel I went through all this from my mid 20's to mid 30's (slightly behind everyone 😉) I wish every 20 something y/o would watch your video, including my own son (in his late 20's) Thank you Caroline! Love your channel!❤

[@sofie.h]

Not quite halfway thru my twenties and deeply in need of this video rn!! Thank u Caroline

[@jjbanks1520]

this is really genuinely some of the best advice ive heard. not telling us how to solve our problems like i usually hope for and am disappointed not to find, but telling us ways we can figure out how to solve them. things that have helped me in the past that ive forgotten about, and things that just hearing gave me more comfort than ive found in a while. especially about reaching out to your loved ones, not using your crutch as an excuse, and the songs :). i love vienna and and try hard fool by the growlers for similar reasons. thank you ❤️

[@AveryHart]

In my 30s now but I basically skipped all of the social and personal development of my 20s to start a business so this is exactly the advice I needed to hear! I literally didn't realize that was the problem until this video, thanks Caroline 🖤

[@hanjnk]

I’m 23 and I just feel like life is one big uncertain bubble I’m trapped in. EVERYTHING is changing and I can’t deal with it!! I don’t feel comfort in anything anymore and I don’t know what on earth I’m doing with my life.

[@loosilu]

I spent my 20s in PhD school, and it was excruciating. Don't go to PhD school unless you know exactly what you want to do and how to do it. My greatest regret is wasting my 20s in school.

[@eva_-_c7956]

It is so refreshing to hear you talk about those problems that we tend to forget. At 26 I still feel quite lonely even though I know it is part of me. It is nice and comforting to know that you went through this too. Thank you for being here and sharing this with us ! 🥰

[@juliannegrahn4374]

So nice to know there are so many other 50+ Caroline fans besides me! 😅 I have to say the only way I’d repeat my 20s is if I could take all the knowledge I have now and go back in time. Also, I have the Caleb Grimm slow version of The Middle on repeat some days. Lyrics still resonate with me.

[@jengates1575]

Such good advice! I’m in my 40s and love it! Such freedom comes with age, because like you said…you just don’t have all the info early on. As you age you get that info and all the sudden you just don’t care what anyone else thinks. 🙌❤️

[@sarahwatts7152]

I agree with Caroline that there's no point in competing in the suffering olympics - on any subject. Every age is weird in some way, every ability is different, every job, gender, et cetera

[@Caroline_Winkler]

love love this. the suffering olympics haha

[@palomaj2678]

One of the best songs songs that makes me cry but also makes me feel amazing is Dreams by The Cranberries. Whenever you’re feeling lost, downtrodden, or just overwhelmed. It helps me embrace the change.