How to Tell if A Fearful Avoidant is Emotionally Interested Instead of Just Physically Attracted

7-Day Free Trial: university.personaldevelopmen...
PDS Stay at Home Sale Code: WITHYOU -- 25% off All 3, 6, 12 month memberships: university.personaldevelopmen...
In this video I'll talk about how you can tell the difference between physical and emotional attraction specifically for the fearful avoidant.
Do you know what your Attachment Style is? Take my quiz to find out now, and begin healing your relationships! Click here: attachment.personaldevelopmen...
Lastly, if you’re interested in shorter form content and tips, follow my Instagram page! @personaldevelopment_school
I post every other day, and you'll find some completely new content there :)
Thank you for watching!

[@soulfulspec]

Most KZbin channels are all about money but we can tell you're passionate about helping people. You pump out so much great material on a daily basis and for that we thank you.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thank for your comment and recognizing this! We literally beam with joy when we hear feedback that we are making a difference in people's lives. Thank you , thank you! - PDS team member

[@soulfulspec]

@@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool you're welcome Thais and team =)

[@legendjimmy3906]

instaBlaster

[@shortingthetrend]

You know she gets paid a LOT of money from people for this right???

[@timothyjonanmusic]

6:14 is where the actual content starts. However, I'd recommend watch it from the beginning if you're not in a hurry.

[@Danielle-ev9hv]

I can't remember the last time someone gave me the gift of peace of mind like you do. That someone understands. Priceless

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Wow what an amazing comment to read!. Thank you for sharing - PDS team member

[@pab4435]

Same! My girl moving out this week is the catalyst for me looking into avoidance disorders. Although I am guilty of triggering her, I became instantly demonized. It only grew immediately worse. I was sleepless for days until I found this channel, and clicked play. I never have ever heard anything of avoidance disorders before. My girl mentioned it as she was packing her stuff up. My ex and this channel brought the idea of this world to light. I wish I had this knowledge sooner. But my mind is at ease now 😊

[@razvanyke]

That was my same feeling once I found this channel, my FA breakup was really bad.

[@leventesomogyi622]

@@pab4435 Welcome to the Club! This stuff also new to me - unfortunately right after a painful break up.

[@ChilledOut]

Yes to penetrating questions. I am allergic to small talk. My recent DA ex broke up with me because he thought we ran out of things to talk about in conversations. In hindsight I believe we ran out of small talk and he avoided going deep.

[@LilDeadHead1]

I was literally cracking up the entire back half of the video. So accurate, I wish I’d had you as a therapist when I was younger. I remember being so unimpressed by all of my therapists as a child, I’d tell my mom “I want one that will tell me things about myself that I hadn’t noticed!!” At like age 8. I knew someone wise would know what my deal was.

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

haha, thanks for sharing your story and making me laugh! - PDS team member

[@colorfullyme]

haha i agree- i wanted that too when i started therapy. I definitely SO appreciate Thais's insights as well, but I hope you have come to realize that is not what therapy is for. Therapy is about getting in touch with yourself. The learning (like from this channel) is something separate. i think both are important :D

[@ohhkayy8775]

When I give him space he gets anxious. When we get close he pulls away and keeps distance. He will come back around when he misses me. I'm secured but I'm trying to be understanding also.

[@wowwee0]

Honestly I'm just so exhausted being a FA.

[@bernadettemeade7259]

I feel your pain, me too

[@ambular0504ut]

@Tye B me too but I'm working toward secure each and everyday

[@mansiduqbwbhrkciduq]

i’m an anxious and i feel like breaking it off with my FA partner because i hate feeling the lows and highs and the unpredictability and always questioning if they’re serious or playing me

[@springpoarch7772]

I so feel this... I'm exhausted too. I feel like I try consistently, and then I find myself in a situation where I'm triggered and feel out of control.. and my partner is convinced that I should have more control over my triggers but I do not know how to do that besides looking at each situation as it arrises to the best of my ability... I just want to be accepted...I should add I'm a FA and my partner is a DA.

[@Awakened.for.good1967]

Same

[@tinkerz72]

I am a FA and it’s so exhausting. I literately feel physically tired learning how to securely attach and trust.

[@Vanibabi973]

I feel exhausted too. Its so hard fighting myself and reprogramming.

[@nyyynnn]

Be gentle with yourself, you are trying your best!

[@thehapagirl92]

What I hate is when people say they’re looking for a relationship but then you realize they’re after just sex. I tell men I’m looking for a relationship and some have said they were as well but then it became obvious they were just after sex.

[@realmext2241]

Hi Simone, as a demissexual, I fell into a relationship with a FA for 2 years and I felt so abused after sex, but stayed till one day, I realized she was avenging herself through sex. I snapped that day, but stayed afraid of relationships for 10 years, kept freezing whenever a partner wanted intimacy. I feel so much better after hearing Thai, and will take up her course to heal myself and also raise my awareness.. Wish you all the best in future relationships.

[@rebeccacarraway480]

Keep your boundaries. It weeds out the ones you don’t want.

[@henryzhao4622]

As a guy here’s a tip: tell them youce never have sex in the first 3 months or whatever

[@alexandramaria7754]

"The better we treat ourselves, the healthier relationships we will attract to our lives." I love, love, love this statement you made, Thais! Thank you for reminding people that your videos are for educative proposes, to find healthy relationships, and not to allow bad behavior from anyone. I think it is important if you can. Record a video talking about how family and friends feed the deactivation strategies of dismissive and fearful-avoidants while they are in relationships. How and why dismissive and fearful-avoidant are so easily influenced by other's opinions and end relationships because of that. Take care, Thais! :) Alexandra

[@theliterarytarot]

I’m a fearful avoidant working on myself. Thanks for not demonizing us and for being so encouraging and insightful

[@soothingwisdom273]

she was an FA herself

[@irene2081]

If the FA is really interested in you, he will ultimately decide to do the work!

[@eesynopsis7393]

not necessarily true. totally depends on the fa and where they are at with their issues

[@HandmadeItalianLeather]

CONSISTENTLY!

[@irfangumelar5404]

Nah my FA ex interested in me and I also into her, but that make her felt not deserving me and ran away 🫠

[@ng-marc]

100% agree. What's the point of putting on a mask? Eventually the mask has to come off to be really happy. Be authentic, honest and transparent. Love yourself enough to be honest.

[@ng-marc]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/goSnYpmnaN13d5o

[@bernadettemeade7259]

I'm a FA, I dont think I'm a wonderful person as I've hurt people in the past by my attachment style... triggered / deactivated by the word relationship, commitment, brings up feelings of being trapped. I'm not good at expressing my feelings ...I will say to men let me come to you, I try to control closeness. Definitely all or nothing person. Other times I will feel anxious if I don't hear from a man when I message...

[@lisaq787]

I can relate to some of this. I think I've come to the conclusion that I need to try and take things very slow (in every way) in terms of getting serious in order to not get hurt or hurt some else.. like if I'm too physically attracted quickly it may be because an insecurity has been triggered, or if I enjoy someone's company but dont feel too physically attracted, and I'm feeling anxiou,s it may be that I'm putting to much pressure on myself and don't know the person well enough yet to know... hope that helps :)

[@bernadettemeade7259]

@@lisaq787 really helpful thanks, I can completely relate to what you've written

[@JuanMartinez-gs3sg]

I agree with everything you just said. My girlfriends drains me and I dont feel like she likws me the way she says she does but Idk if thats just me or if there is something more than the surface covers

[@ohhkayy8775]

I'm trying to understand my partner and how he thinks. We get close and then he pulls away right after or keeps me emotionally distant. Then he'll come back when he is missing me. Thanks for sharing.

[@FM-zg5hz]

@@ohhkayy8775 Any update?

[@calliethomas2702]

I'm an F.A. and this was such an accurate description of how I show up, not just in romantic relationships, but in all aspects of life. I wasn't anticipating the feeling of having my existence validated by such a brief video, but I will treasure it none the less. Thank you for the ongoing informative content; it's truly impactful beyond measure. (:

[@emeraldmaster5226]

This was so eye opening. Thank you!

[@mmag1180]

Can't wait for the series on the attachment in the different stages of a relationship!!

[@ltbeachgirl345]

Video starts at 6:10

[@jo_6315]

Stumbled upon your videos by accident. Am so glad i found it. I think you describe my ex perfectly. Helped me understand a little more about what went wrong too. My FA ex broke up with me just last week, right after telling me the night before how much he loves me and scheduling a date the very next day. In the morning, he sent me a message about how it's better that we stay friends and how he doesn't feel any more love towards me. He wanted us to stay "good friends" but i told him that i would need space and time to sort myself out first. Had not been in contact with him since. Still miss him even though he had hurt me terribly.

[@FM-zg5hz]

Any update?

[@chopinplaya]

Wow, I can't believe this video came out right when I needed it, lol. Thank you!

[@Modern_Maid_Marion]

This is brilliant! I think I needed this before all the videos I watched about no contact. It would've made it easier to stick with no contact. I'm taking this knowledge forward into the next relationship. Thank you 😊

[@Th3Fab3]

I can't wait for those videos!

[@n0s447]

I just wanna say thank you miss Thais. You have changed my life. I couldn't afford your courses since i dont have a job as of the moment but the other means of your help have impacted me tremendously. That book you recommended in one of your videos, The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz + your videos on how i could heal and change my attachment style from insecure to secure were instrumental in this change in mindset of mine. I was very anxious and needy, didn't know how to meet my needs by myself. Feeling alone. Now i feel so empowered but i am not done changing for the better, i will continue my journey of self development. Once again... Thank you so much to you and your team, you have no idea how impactful your actions are. ❤️

[@alisonn395]

I love how you deliver your message. Thank you and you really have helped me learn how to set my bounderies and learn how to say what I want not only in my romantic relationship but also other relationship. Thank you so much Thais!

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

That's such a beautiful share! thank you - PDS team member

[@ariiv3704]

I really love this new camera!!!

[@RoseClimbPaintC]

I really like your videos thank you. I have the disorganized attachment style.

[@nappyfries]

Omg never have I ever felt so understood! seriously I need to download all you know about FA’s and send it to people I date lol

[@ekorhibenjamin1840]

I always love listening to you

[@ThePersonalDevelopmentSchool]

Thanks for your kind comment - PDS team member

[@kalinabozhkova5655]

Basically listen to them when they tell you if they are interested or not Pretty straight foreword I am actually surprised!

[@TabbyCakes]

Spot on! My DA ex said something to me that seemed very cold. I completely deactivated days later, and broke up with him via text. I’m absolutely all or nothing, but sometimes I have to sit back and stew for a few days. 🤣 If I feel unseen, or undervalued I’ll leave. If my partner doesn’t want to connect with me on an emotionally deeper level I’ll leave. If I can’t read a person because they’re guarded I’ll leave. All of these behaviors to me suggests that I can’t trust. For a long time, I thought that I was anxiously attached, but my willingness to be all in, my need for transparency and closeness, but also having the ability to cut someone off abruptly or after a couple of days tells me I’m FA.

[@coreygeiger81]

being an FA, i feel like the last thing FAs need to worry about is attraction and relationships, and more about healing themselves.

[@trudyvalkyr3005]

I don't agree. I'm only able to heal certain things while having a relationship. There's only so much confrontation you'll receive when being single so it will be difficult to heal those things that a partner provides but that's my experience after staying single for many years and doing tons of healing.

[@TheOneTrueAJ]

​@@trudyvalkyr3005that's true! Never knew I had issues til a relationship brought it to light. And from our perspective, if the relationship goes away, so do our issues. It won't be right in front of us.

[@joymae]

I wish you were my therapist your channel has been so helpful in my healing journey

[@ThinkOutOfTheCube]

Your camera looks amazing now!

[@robdog4095]

The dichotomous thinking. My whole life and thinking patterns are all or nothing. That's exact. I'm trying to think less black or white.

[@AshleyNaoWellness]

I feel so seen when I watch your videos on fa. Thank you 🥰

[@ummewaseem4910]

amazing video as always. im wonderinf if you could clarify to me how power struggle is different from asserting needs and boundaries? as an FA, i feel like power struggle just seems like a less controlled/ more chaotic way of asserting your needs and boundaries, is that true?

[@lesliejohns987]

Yes Yes.... You may get your Ex back but the truth is it won’t last unless you work on yourself!!

[@jasonsavage2249]

Thais “the best to do it” Gibson

[@karenessauthor]

Not really....my FA wasn't present, but was very deeply involved ...to the point he became suicidal when I 'broke up' from a non relationship.

[@Talkinglife]

Nice one

[@bw6443]

Anxious Preoccupied in-love with a Fearful Avoidant. The relationship has been a tough one, so we have separated to work on ourselves. Its my hope that we can become more secure and rekindle our relationship but I sometimes feel like the separation (which wasn't my idea) is just my FA partner fleeing because of the way I am. I know I have abandonment issues from childhood and I don't know how to stop the panic it causes me in my adult life. Anyone have any similar experience? What do you tell yourself in order to stop feeling like you're being abandoned/not good enough for someone?

[@jesskui4137]

As an anxious preoccupied n also partly fearful avoidant i observe when i start to feel that way and i remind myself again n again that he isnt responsibility for my feelings....they r mine to deal with...i self soothe.....a lot...telling myself its okay to feel that but thats not true you r enough...when u observe n dont react it gets easier

[@AzumaRikimaru]

Any update?

[@bw6443]

@@AzumaRikimaru We are not together but remain very close. We still talk about the possibility of being together in the future but also accept that we might not be. I've learned to cope with being alone and though I miss the relationship at times, Im loving being on my own and having the space and time to improve and develop. I did have to learn to self soothe and to meet my own emotional needs but after that, being happy single was very easy.

[@musicchick581]

@@bw6443 I'm FA and was with an AP too. We broke it off a few months ago.

[@TheAsmaahmed]

I'm going through the exact same things as you.. initiated no contact while still in a relationship becoz of his hot n cold behaviour.. it was too emotionally draining to me to bear with.. meanwhile understanding attachment styles, reading alot of self help books, exercising n eating healthy is helping me get over it.. but its been a rollercoaster though.. somedays i feel good.. the other days i feel terrible as the panic mode kicks in.. i guess with time we will get through this..

[@princessleai]

I had to click on this video due to the title. And because I’m still unsure as a fearful Avoidant

[@LoveToday8]

I remember breaking things off with someone and using the phrase, "Out of sight, out of mind." 🙃🙃

[@colorfullyme]

LOL Thais is such a pro-- she does that to me too

[@zzzog2163]

Wow! This so describes me

[@jessp3021]

good disclaimer

[@gabyr4641]

Do you have a LDR for attachement style course in your program??

[@rach6525]

Tais, Can u do one about the DA please ?

[@karolinfridell9952]

Recently dated an FA briefly and he was so in the moment, asked me deep questions about my childhood, babies etc. When he left he hugged me and said how nice our evening had been. He seemed so genuine and then a week later he says he want to clarify that he doesnt want anything serious with me. Im usually good at spotting love bombing but this was completley different. I don’t get why he would say and do all of these things and talk about deep subjects unless he truly was interested? He even suggested I should start out the same hobbies as him! I still don’t understand how he could change opinion that quickly about me and dating

[@madisonnew7396]

This person, and I as an FA, don't see value in small talk. If i go to a party, i will always ended up in a corner getting deep with someone even if i just met them. It feels like everyone wants to have these deep connections but get stuck in small talk, so i/we can be the ones to initiate/force it. So he probably was/is interested in you, but he lives in a deeper zone in all his interactions (well, this is just one expression of deepness) so this one might have seemed unique to you because its not your normal conversation depth in dating. Its just as narcissistic as avoidants taking space or AP's clinging in communucation and lack of space. All trying to get needs met and a subconcious belief of how to be good to both people in the relationship

[@Eirliss]

Karolin, how's everything today? Are you together?

[@wave8867]

One word: Narcissist

[@Sirenamia777]

I'm an FA and if I could accomodate someone I'm dating to see them everyday I would lol but I was lucky if I saw people I was dating once a week because of work. Also, I just would feel liek I was bothering trying to see them too often.

[@claudettellontop4386]

This was great! Thank you ! Im always so grateful to know this channel, it appeases my soul. Im fearful avoidant, with an anxious proclivity. Im in the deactivating phase of a relationship. Could you maybe please talk about being friends after a breakup with a FA. My ex wants to be friends, and even though id like to, because we really cared about each other, im not sure I can deal with it. Cause as you say we're all or nothing people. So i think i may have to dissappear her first, and even forget about the slightest chance of being friends afterwards, if i ever want to be friends with her again. I think... I havent been in that many relationships, it takes me some time to get over people. Its kind of sad though that this time, ill have to wait that much to be friends with someone care for again. Thank you Thais!

[@juliejay5436]

I did that to my ex, stayed friends... But guess what happened?! He started to get super jealous of the new people I was meeting, making nasty comments that were non of his business, because he was secretely still hoping to be back in a relationship with me... Boy, that back fired and he got kicked out of my life for good. Another thing I found weird was that he was so oblivious that he thought that after we broke up we would still be fuck buddies... Which is really weird because we were living hundreds of miles away from each other...

[@jennan.7718]

@@juliejay5436 haha the same shit happened with me and my ex.. I swear!! I had to cut him out cause he couldn't see me giving him details of me moving on from him with someone else. Too much drama 😔

[@noahynclan7929]

@@jennan.7718 Yes, but based on FA attachment style characteristics, you as an FA play deeply into that drama more than anything. Not trying to lay one way blame at all or anything of that nature, you basically enter a relationship malignant with the subconcious intent/programming to self sabotage it in the first place! You want a relationship, but don't know how to handle a committed and truly intimate relationship, and when it either starts to get to that point, you drop an I'm leaving grenade into it and this creates a self fulfilling prophecy that usually becomes patternistic. Unless of course you are in a relationship with a DA who usually takes care of that process for you.... Not sure what part of "avoidant" you don't understand. A Secure wants to do all those things naturally and instinctually. An AP wants to do that as well, but comes on too strong if they aren't leaning secure in which part they need to learn to back off just a bit and learn to self soothe and meet their own needs during the "reasonable" times when their hopefully secure or leaning secure partner is not able to due to meeting their own needs as well. If you are in a triggered Avoidant state or deactivating or actually subconsciously as soon as the dating phase is finishing, your subconcious programming is already well at world and enters the power struggle stage and actually seeks them out as a means to attempt to validate that internal programming to set it up for what you are considering doing all along due to your "Fear-Brain", taking control. So it's not the issue of an ex or separated or former partner hoping to try to save a relationship with "you" of all people, it is your deactivated and "dismissive" side talking and calling the shots which could have you frequently missing out on something that could in time be better than what your programming makes it out to be.

[@trillium7582]

Thais, while watching this, it occurred to me that I often do the behaviors you describe here as present when the FA is really interested... but I'll do them when I'm nervous and meeting a stranger. Being very "interested", bubbly, "present", but I think maybe it's some kind of defensive strategy? I often feel super guilty and bad afterward, I'm not sure why. I'd love a video about that!

[@juliejay5436]

@Wendy Larson yeap, that is what I was thinking too.

[@summero-my5in]

Look into the fawn trauma response

[@chrismccaffrey8256]

Is it possible for me (a FA, male, becoming more secure) to stay in a potential relationship with a love interest (FA, female), even when/if I become mostly securely attached before they do? I see that they are willing to work on themselves and even did the attachment style quiz when I showed them, with great enthusiasm i might add, so I think its possible.

[@michelledehaen8997]

How to make a FA stop running away when getting close in the relationship ?

[@chopinplaya]

If I'm strongly romantically interested in a FA and she's not exhibiting signs of interest but she is being honest about it and is interested in being friends but still often deactivates in the friendship, am I setting poor boundaries or failing to show up for myself by pursuing a friendship with her with at least some hope that things might change? I'm an anxious preoccupied type.

[@rebeccav7420]

Sounds like yes to me, probably. How'd it end up going? Hope you're doing well

[@ilariocolli]

Hi, Thais. Could you do a video about how attachment styles apply differently in gay relationships, if they apply differently at all? As a gay man, I'd be very interested in this. Thank you, your content is always insightful and helpful!

[@ridhimakathuria1886]

+1 in wlw relationships??? please PLEASE

[@colorfullyme]

hm that is an intriguing question. as a straight cis woman, i think a lot of my attachment style comes from my relationship with my dad. definitely both parents played a huge role, but it would be an interesting topic for sure!

[@srivasudhahemadribhotla1513]

I'm just looking at myself at this point

[@Cheryl9675]

My FA is NONE of these things. He is lazy in all relationships. Therefore, he's never really had a long-term relationship, platonic or romantic. He wants everyone to do the work, and he jumps in when needed. When he's present, he's gentle and kind. He enjoys spending time with me. He still doesn't inquire about my life. He hijacks all conversations back on himself. He's not narcissistic, though. He doesn’t know how to be in a relationship. He definitely needs therapy. We're both almost 50, btw.

[@alicebichanga3621]

starts at 6:15

[@alyajewellery]

I don’t know myself how I’m feeling! 😳

[@Vykiku]

Is there a video like that about DAs?

[@jasonfernee2401]

My GF left me and she is FA which I acknowledged and told her, I am trying to win her back and we are both on the same page about getting back together long term, however, she is cold to me at the moment and interested in flattery from other males. She is trying to heal herself... but hang on, in the mean time possibly seeing someone else? What the hell do I do?

[@summero-my5in]

What attachment style r u?

[@jackrippper3389]

video starts at 6:10

[@Stopstalkingme333]

Starts at 6:10

[@MAXIMUSWE]

To a more secure , or anxious , or even slightly dismissive , ( or whatever I am 😂🤦) Does it often feel like , or come across at least optically like the avoidant is playing games and manipulating? Rather than healthy communication? I feel like I'm being played some of the time.....but then again , it's kinda like push away , pull back ....and I sense a lot of struggle within her. Excuse my french, but I literally feel like I'm going fucking insane 😂

[@superduperjoi6800]

Boundaries ol

[@thaimmigrant]

I would like to give you constructive feedback. It took 6 minutes for you to reach the topic that is stated in the title to the video. What you discussed previous to that was very informative and good tips, but perhaps you could have left that to a separate video?

[@MAXIMUSWE]

I Suppose I'm pretty fearful avoidant as well actually ....I seem to have aspects of all insecure attachments ( Oooo lucky me huh? Hit the lottery of dysfunction 😅) So vulnerability , taking it to the next stage and showing sensitivity , or reliance on the other party , is VERY hard for me to vocalize if it's not CLEARLY being reciprocated. So when I feel shes being kinda childishly manipulative , trying to get me to try harder , or bread crumbing me to reach out first .....I react badly , defiantly to Manipulative behaviors , I also have an issue with authority , so it feels like the underlying insinuation is im ignorant or weak......So naturally , When I sense manipulation instead of her telling me her needs or emotions honestly , I start to pull away , and less vulnerable .... because I think it kinda makes me "split" The dishonesty , starts to make me look at them , vilify them as all the kinda people I loathe, ....Even though it may not be their intentions. I am also hyper vigilant , as a automatic defense mechanism, I don't trust anyone , and have very bad abandonment issues ...She clearly is very stubborn and has trust and intimacy issues as well.

[@TrophyHunterTyler]

Starts at 6:10 omg

[@naradaramanayaka3291]

We are the type of People Looking For Romantic Patner And we are Anxiousattachment falling for Avoidence it s not What we looking for

[@TheRussianWookie]

Pleaseeee answer the question as soon as possible 😭😭

[@razvanyke]

I can honestly say that after my story with an FA lady, I will avoid dating this attachment style with no exceptions. I am a DA and my need for space triggers the anxiety in the FAs and that is a total nonsense to keep living. My healing goes well, also thanks to Thais. Unless healing is under way for the FA too, DA + FA is the biggest nonsense in dating world.

[@musicallife3981]

You'll have to avoid an anxious preoccupied type as well..:)

[@wiemahdickson8713]

@@musicallife3981 and date a DA like themselves 😂😂😂 Who will validate them..FA give space..alot

[@kayaxe]

Any tips on how to get a dismissive female Ex to Open up? It has been amost 2.5months since break up. Thank you :)

[@mompreneurmentor]

Waaau too much intro was half intro before you got into the video

[@mismiserables]

I'm a fearful-avoidant but I don't verbally express feelings to people and I don't really like showing certain emotions. If I'm around someone I usually spend most of the time on my phone because I don't really have much to say to them and don't really want them in my head. This has made people think I didn't like them in relationships...do other FAs do this? I prefer texting since I feel more comfortable expressing myself that way.

[@grandhustle314]

This is hard to relate to personally, but unfortunately I have dated people with this attachment style. It can be very hurtful. I think if you make it a goal to become the most confident, badass, self-assured version of yourself possible, it will help you heal your attachment wounds.

[@compulady5]

You sound exactly like the guy I’m kind of involved with. It’s like pulling teeth to get anything from him and frustrating at the same time. It’s like a roller coaster - I wish he’d just open up to me so I knew where he stood. Good luck.

[@Missallow]

You really sound like the guy I’m interested in. When we’re together he goes on his phone. It’s frustrating bc I want to have his full attention and engage in deeper conversation and he struggles. It’s like the phone is his crutch. He also needs to have the tv on in the background when we’re together. I end up feeling like he truly doesn’t care bc here I am being vulnerable and trying to bond and he could care less (or so it appears). This ends up pushing me away bc it feels like he doesn’t value me.

[@mismiserables]

@@Missallow Well from what I can say I do value the other person but just suck at deep talks. It's just very awkward and uncomfortable for me (I also have social anxiety). Still I've learned that it's something I should really stop doing. I try to force myself to actually sit with people instead. I haven't been in a relationship in a long while so can't be sure I've progressed but at least I'm aware of it now. Also, when you say deeper conversations, what exactly are you referring to? Is it specifically discussing feelings and things like that?

[@Missallow]

@@mismiserables I think you’re on the right track. By you allowing yourself to sit through that discomfort and maybe even taking deep slow breaths you’re teaching yourself to overcome. That’s fantastic! ⚡️ Do you tend to ask the person you’re with questions about themselves? How do you show them you’re interested? Also would you say you’re hyper sensitive- like you get offended super easily? Also to answer your question: I mean in-depth conversation about meaningful topics like conversations about his or my childhood, dreams and goals, what his thoughts are on various aspects of life and experiences etc At this point I’ve basically given up on the guy I was interested in.

[@tatendadzvimbo941]

Woow

[@twainslureca]

Can I make a suggestion? I don't like focusing on the topic at hand or preparing to and then a sales promotion about the school is pitched. It is jarring to me, can it not be done in these videos or if needed at the end which is less of a distraction. (As opposed to in the beginning, because you'll intro with the video topic, then switch to the sales pitch, then back to video topic).

[@simonebracy9103]

You can't tell someone how to promote a topic on their page. If you don't like how she does it "you" can always go to another page.

[@twainslureca]

Simone Bracy I can certainly provide feedback she welcomes feedback and there has always been that allowed on here, as long as it’s respectfully done.

[@jillieduke]

I understand what you're saying, but I'm also reminded that she puts out tons of information for free. While it may feel like a sales pitch, this is the only program that you could tremendously benefit from without spending a dime.

[@twainslureca]

Jill Boyer of course, I’m not disregarding the importance of the school just the order it was stated would be helpful and streamlined rather than on topic, then sales talk, then back to topic.

[@simonebracy9103]

@@twainslureca That's how you would do it. However that's not how she does it. That should be respected since she provides a lot of information for free. Have you paid for any of her courses since you're suggesting how she should do her format?

[@Mrs.T305]

I have an anxious attachment, I guess mine doesn't like me 😥

[@emiliendavis9563]

Same, and same. Guess I should move on from her.

[@flashman2]

It's not worth the trouble to stay with them .when she stops the sex life you had its over .she not want you anymore. You love them and then they stamp on you .just run away

[@IronX77]

Intro ends at 6:10

[@arielbarber3246]

I'm with a FA, it's just the opposite. She is VERY stand offish with the physical (even though while we were just dating it was more about her wanting the physical, though we still have only kissed a handful of times) vs. now, she is trying to learn me and opening up more to me, but the physical isn't really there. It's confusing and painful, but I don't want to rush her into anything and we have been seeing each other for about a month and a half. She was the one who decided to make things "official." Every time I mention how we are different "I'll make it work" is her response.

[@valentynabelofsky9374]

Soooo in other words you don't know if you're an AP😂

[@markmark3938]

6:10 you're welcome... 😎

[@SgtWarlord]

I love your videos and insight. But this has to be my least favorite video so far. Are you aware that of the 12:15 minutes of this video, you didn't even broach #1 until minutes 6:15?

[@almblade_art]

lololololol. They are REALLY interested if they want to see you twice a week. This is so me.

[@anissas.4494]

Wow, it took over 6 minutes to start the talk.

[@lisaq787]

"Only seems physically attracted, and doesn't seem romantically attracted, that's totally fine if you're on the same page" - hmmm maybe no

[@Meli-ul9zt]

Um maybe for you it isn’t but it’s 2020 and all kinds of consensual and mutual relationships should be accepted and celebrates. So maybe for you that doesn’t work, for others it does. You don’t get to decide that for anyone but yourself.

[@juliejay5436]

@@Meli-ul9zt agree.

[@kweisgerber]

Blah, blah, blah. Over 5 minutes in & I am still waiting for the point.

[@kweisgerber]

@@jillieduke Then why does she say at 4:53 that she "will get to the meat of the message," then try to sell the school, then sort of address the title? The point did not occur within the first 5 minutes, it was a disclaimer.