How We Express Our Sexuality as Gay Men 🏳️‍🌈

[@prosodiac]

This topic deserves an even deeper look. As a gay man myself I'm always wondering what the "normal" or "healthy" way of having sex is. I do prefer emotionally connected sex, mechanical sex doesn't do it for me. The downside of seeking to emotionally connect with the sex partners is that you can always develop intense feelings and risk falling in love. This is a dilemma I think because as a gay man, having regular sex with other men is "normal" for me but it's always playing with fire. Also, I wonder if gay sex has other meanings, e.g. like introducing younger gay men to sex, like a guidance aspect. Would love to see these points discussed.

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Thank you for sharing your perspective. It's incredibly brave to open up about these complex issues. Your points about emotional connection, the risks of falling in love, and the potential for mentorship within the gay community are all fascinating and deserve further exploration. It's clear that there's a lot more to unpack when it comes to gay sexuality and relationships.❤

[@dickbower3211]

I am the same way.... it is called Demi-sexual.... I have spent most of my life in long term relationships.... was with my husband for 25 years before he died in 2006.....

[@tyronelcarter]

Great episode!! Suggestion.. As a Black gay, queer cisgendered male; my Blackness the most salient how about a deep reflective episode on racism particular anti blackness with in the gay/ queer community

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Thank you for your feedback and suggestion! We’re glad you enjoyed the episode. Addressing anti-Blackness within the gay/queer community is crucial, and we’ll definitely consider a deep, reflective episode on this important topic. 🌟🏳‍🌈

[@gw6482]

Listening to all of you is always so enlighting! I am very grateful, and I know many of us are, for letting us listen to your personal, and even intimate, stories. I have never been in a support group because I don´t think I have ever needed it, but now that I found you, it always makes me feel better.

[@PatrickMarano]

What a topic! I can relate to a couple of you... namely Matt and Reno. Sex in my youth was how I got validation, basically using people and tossing them away. I can think of a few guys I hurt in the process. They did not deserve that and I regret it now. And like Reno, when I visit my porn outlets, I'm in and out. I never thought much about it, but cumming seemed like something to get out of the way so I could get to more important things. It's as if I know it has to be done, but there def could be some shame in there. We talk, we learn, we grow!

[@1ORiiON]

I want to sincerely thank you all for this!!! The vulnerability and realizations about yourselves along your journeys was very relatable for me.

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

❤️❤️❤️

[@RCanadian]

I had a guy leave as we were getting started. He said, "I could fall in love with you, and I cannot do this."

[@thekajalflaneur]

I had had this also, it's such an intimidating. "You're so intense, so present", when I think I was just being a normal emotionally connected human in sex. The first man's point made me cry. I relate so much. Also as it is a macro trend in the gay community (commodification of self as sex object, stripped of vulnerability).

[@TruthQuest4700]

What was said toward the end regarding intimacy and connection filling an emotional void only to discover that sex wasn't what one needed in the moment really hit home. It seems to navigate a situation such as that is so reliant on effective communication. It is more likely that moving slowly with someone allows the time necessary to cultivate those discoveries.

[@Rustipipes]

I appreciate all of your honesty and transparency. Your experiences are enlightening for me. Always learning!

[@wabisabi119]

@24:29 ! Thank you so much for being Vulnerable and sharing your authentic selves ❣

[@seto749]

Credit for not considering gold-star a negative term. Bottom-shamong could probably be the subject of a profitable series of episodes. It's one of the last frontiers of anti-gay attitudes from thsoe who preen themselves on their ally status.

[@WellismoCoaching]

Thank you for this and we'll definitely consider it for next episodes. Stay tuned :)

[@enzomthethwa5861]

Calan in the beginning is speaking my language! I thought I was the only one like this! I am extremely present and connected physically, emotionally, and spiritually during sex. The only difference between me and Calan is that men fall in love with me more often than they run away from me.

[@xtradelite903]

I wish there was more verbal communication, as opposed to physical communication.

[@toadstooltarot]

I've been catching up on a lot of these old episodes and admit this one made me uncomfortable from the get go. I have been rediscovering my sexuality and freeing myself through the apps to explore and compartmentalize whatever I wish. I am experiencing joy and feel no shame, but with the first story related here, I felt judgement and being 'shamed' by Callen as he related his story of a hookup with a guy who didn't want to kiss, and then blamed that on the guy's 'shame'. It felt unfair to me for Callen to push 'blame' or 'fault' or 'flaws' off on the other guy for something he didn't wish to do that Callen wished to do. In the hookups I've had, 'arrangements' have always been made clear prior to a hookup so nobody is arriving in expectation of something the other party is uncomfortable with, and I was surprised that Callen didn't make his wishes (to kiss) clear prior to the hookup. The other guy, whatever his reasons are his reasons and not to be judged by Callen according to Callen's standards. Callen's approach to 'romance' seems to me to be hetero-normative, but that is my judgement and something I wouldn't normally share with him, but might ask him if he hadn't considered that. Not all gay men always want romantic relationships. I was kind of hoping this discussion would delve into many more kinds of sexuality expressed by gay men than one kind. I am seeing many kinds of kinks and interests through the apps and though many of them are not for me, I don't judge them, but find each one very intersting to explore in terms of desire or fantasy of where they come from and where that thrill or excitement or interest comes from. I'm not sure if I'm making myself clear, but felt the need to share this. I refuse to be 'shamed' or 'judged' by others for however I wish to express myself sexually. As long as I'm not breaking any laws, all doors are open to me (and anybody else).

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! :)

[@Scar-jg4bn]

Great vid and convo! ❤

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Thank you 🙏

[@johneonas6628]

Thank you for the video.

[@Tragic.Kingdom]

Love this podcast

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Oh, wow! Thank you so much. This inspires us to create more.🥰

[@kso808]

Reno has some rather interesting thoughts about what constitutes sex, near the end of this discussion, IMHO.

[@dennis-qu7bs]

For me, a lot of the gays define themselves first and foremost by sex and sexuality, not by personality.

[@jo.k.4210]

Hey Matt, how does one get into the tantra community? sounds appealing

[@Onetalld1984]

I absolutely love deep kissing a man Calaln, so I get it.

[@Tragic.Kingdom]

@ 32.00 - u dont need to sexually active during teenage yrs. Good lord 🙏🏼

[@GayMenGoingDeeper]

Agreed! It's important to remember that there's no rush to be sexually active. Everyone's journey is different, and it's okay to take things at your own pace. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!💕💖

[@Tragic.Kingdom]

@@GayMenGoingDeeper of course 🙏🏼

[@dickbower3211]

You must still be a virgin... that is part of what makes us human!!! as I stated before I was with my BF from age 12, but it was not a sexual one, until I was 16.... and my parents were well aware all the time....