Anger and Complex Trauma - Part 10/11 - Unresolved Anger

[@TimFletcher]

💜 Please be aware of scammers impersonating Tim or the Tim Fletcher team! We do not provide any phone numbers in the comments and Tim does not chat privately with viewers. We will never ask you to join us on a messaging app. When in doubt, reach out to us via our website at timfletcher.ca. Stay safe and scam-aware. With Love, The Tim Fletcher Team.

[@pje954]

Share this repeatedly with younger people. Don't let people be this- me at 62. Needs to be viewed and re viewed to be learned. Worth every minute.

[@Lynn-jl2yz]

i am still being targeted at 62 by a sick mother who created a sick, physically and verbally violent, conflict-ridden home and right now i am stuck in her horrible basement room, while she is a complete fake, loved and praised, adored for being sweet Sandra and she has been pinning her unhappiness on mostly me and/or my late father, and she has gone around telling half-truths, (lying by omission), talkimg perpetually to my 3 siblings, recruiting them against me so that they join in the bullying and talkimg to mutual friends at church, and she will identify that her mother and others in her family are the real causew of her trauma. yet not only does she blane shift andcrefuse to acknowledge her bad behavior not acknowledge she needs to get to work amd do the heavy liftimg of taking charge of her own healimg. YET she will not evrn touch a self-help book let alone get a therapist, she has plemty of money and great insurance amd can get access to the best of therapists and acknowledge that my grandmother , who passed 12 ulyears ago amd was abused for years in every way possible by her drunkard stepfather, got married at 14, 3 kids by age 19, passed on the abuse and now we have 5 generations of intergenerational trauma, and so mu mom has passed on the abuse, has been rejecting me bc i was the 3rd child im three years, and emotionally unavailable, blamed me for beimg born unplanned at a time of serious adversity in my parents' worlds at the time of my birth, and she was in a rage at my dad for my conception plus a crisis in his job, so she turned all that rage on me as a small child and eventually became not just rejecting but overtly abusive, with physical and very severe verbal abuse. and allowed my two older siblings to bully me amd never face consequences. thanks to her i have multiple trauma-based psychiatric disorders and decided not to marry or have childrem for fear of passing it on. so now i cannot work, lost a great engineering career at age 29 amd now Soc Sec is barely enough 31 yrs later plus i am stuck with original medicare amd can't access decent psychiatrists or therapists plus worse and wirse options for other kinds of heakthcare providers. Now i live isolated in a dark basement most of the time except for figuringvout places i can get away to since i do have a car. she is an untrustworthy, dishonest, devious. hypocritical bully.

[@GalvMermaid50]

I wish my therapist had know this and shared it. I'm in my fifties and think I have wasted so much time!!!❤❤❤

[@tiasara5967]

Most children recognize gaslighting asap, even well-meaning gaslighting. And there is a term called “toxic positivity”, that is major gaslighting too, even to your own self.

[@gigantopithecushominoidea8779]

Gaslighting goes way beyond that, even a well meaning compliment from your girlfriend, you lose the can you lose the girlfriend, lose the compliment. The value is in seeing their emotions disappearing with the money going away. Money can buy love but not the one you wanted.

[@gigantopithecushominoidea8779]

Can = car*

[@azaleaslight3599]

Those Law of attraction people cause alot of harm with their toxic Positivety so do these new 'spiritual' types if they preach it, it's a good sign they're false teachers

[@rocheclip]

Absolutely. My mom used to gaslight me that my problems "weren't that bad" or could always be worse. While that may be true, all it did was teach me my problems don't matter.

[@skinnyway]

I guess I'm stupid then because I didnt get it until I was 48. a lot of us have no idea its abuse because thats our everyday. how do you know its abuse or gaslighting if no one ever tells you or stands up for you? your statement is really stupid and hurtful. the only thing I knew all these years is that life was never going to work out because it was me. Someone else could engage in the same endeavors as I and succeed whereas I would fail even tho I did all the same things. I knew everyone hated me everywhere I go but never why. No one really wants to be around an actually honest person. and thats the bottom line.

[@taleandclawrock2606]

When i was 10, after years of traumatic events and difficult parental relationships, in which they were never wrong, my mum made a suicide attempt, and never returned to my family home. I was devastated by the loss, tried to keep the household care tasks going, without complaint, was bullied at school, and absent angry father ( busy 24/7). I overheard my Dad say on the phone to a relative, about me, " oh shes fine, shes handling it really well. " I experienced such an intense flash of rage and hurt, i nearly passed out. From that moment for the next 14 years, i did not experience the emotion of anger. At all. I was the ' nice girl', ' the good student'. As a result, i was a complete victim, repeatedly victimised. I couldnt protect myself, i had no anger energy. It took many more years to regain a basic healthy emotional response and resillience, and to be able to live a normal life, without chronic stress, social phobias, bodily pain and depression. I now have Hashimoto's, and my stomach is terribly oversensitive and reactive.

[@svetlanafedorova6647]

I also got hypothyroid several years back, was living with pornoaddict, I was " frozen" all my life. P.s. Medical Medium info ( Anthony William) helped me with Hashimoto's

[@kleinfritzchen3226]

I remember the people in my family saying that about us ("They are handling it all really well") and feeling acknowledged and proud of myself for being so grown up. Everybody seemed to appreciate a grown up and self-reliant child.

[@jmvwegnerpriest]

💗

[@wellinever1558]

So understand and so sorry for you.

[@Tee-Jay-y]

My heart goes out to that little girl. ❤

[@Jess-kn8vl]

Grew up with a mother who told us anger was a sin, but then when she was angry it was acceptable. Pointing out her behavior resulted in further punishments.

[@thePOWERofART-11]

that sounds rough! how did you cope

[@Jess-kn8vl]

@@thePOWERofART-11 Marlboros 😉

[@b.i.k.i.b.i.k.i]

@@Jess-kn8vlmine was my dads Camels

[@marierossouw4561]

I 14 tr ř

[@asdfgnmyuiopxcvbhjkl]

@@Jess-kn8vl😂

[@gwdavey]

I was diagnosed with adrenal fatigue in my late 20's - as well as IBS. Going no contact and focusing on my healing, growth & maturity has provided so much relief physically and mentally.

[@ruthmcdougall6052]

You are describing me now and the anger I was not allowed to express or even cry. I have lived a life without feeling any emotions in order to not sin, be good for my parents. A life of not belonging, or being loved but expected to help everyone else including being a servant at home to my parents and brother. I knew I was the least of any but accepted because I was a servant. Screwed up Christianity!! I am walking in a vacuum. Isolated, unloved, floating not knowing who I am anymore. I have no friends anymore as I dropped all these people who were sucking me dry. I am so tired and empty. Thank you Pastor Tim for your teaching. I understand my diagnosis so much better but it seems so huge to keep growing. Ruth

[@dorijoe]

Hey Ruth. I just wanna say I relate everything you're saying. I am sooooooo pissed.

[@created4passion442]

Yeah I can understand how that went I dealt with a lot of the same thing and I'm so glad to be learning who I am in Christ and his passionate pursuit of Love all my life but unfortunately a lot of Christianity gets it twisted

[@GalvMermaid50]

I got beat with a belt so badly my dad's name was on my backside from his western belt, and all he said was how ugly I was when I cried. It's taken years, but I'm slowing rebuilding myself.

[@dorijoe]

@@GalvMermaid50 I have so much anger for all these "parents" who tortured their children instead of taking care of them which was supposed to be their job. Why do people have children if they have no love to give? Why? They bring innocent being into this world to then subject them to pain and shame?

[@created4passion442]

@@ruthmcdougall6052 by the grace of God I was able to forgive the belt beatings as my mom was a single parent but she had a lot of trauma herself she didn't talk about but drinking and then taking it out on the kids or at least some of us yeah things I would have done differently had I known this before she crossed over didn't recognize the signs she needed help so part of the process is recognizing the lies I believed so important to guard our heart and understand what God says about me

[@Josephcmiro731]

True. I pretend I’m good but as soon as a trigger comes up I immediately fall back into the anger.

[@tizzlekizzle]

That's a good thing. Allow it. Thats the way out. Allowing.

[@Kamaya-gn8pf]

Same 😢

[@carolnahigian9518]

OBESITY.. extreme weight gain in 2 men in our Family. Sad!!

[@fruitypebbles803]

@@carolnahigian9518maybe it’s just genetics that makes them fat. Or maybe stress.

[@nevadatan7323]

Most obese individuals are self-soothing with food. They use it to regulate their emotions and numb themselves, and to get a dopamine hit in the process.... in the same way people turn to shopping or alcohol. It's another maladaptive coping mechanism with severe consequences and strains put on the body and mind.

[@10Hags5]

My caretaker used to weaponise basic needs. I expressed anger once and I was threatened with being thrown out of house. I was 12 yo. I never expressed anger again. I used to shelve it and smile painfully most of the times. Sadly I carried the same approach to my other relationships. Working on it now

[@KayleeGrace]

I hear you. When I started to express my anger at 12 I was thrown out of the house and that taught me to squash it down.

[@sarahbroussard7489]

Sorry for the book, Today as an adult I have no emotional attachment to my parents, but especially my mother. My memories of her saying and doing the bad things to me that she did have never been resolved and I harbor a lot of anger for having had to choke down so much from someone who should have taught me how to be genuinely loving and happy. Today she expects me to share my life and child with her as if we had the perfect relationship. I know she only wants to be close enough to have pictures of us together to show others a façade of how close we are. I started failing in school around second grade, I remember this is when my value became my grades and is reflected in my childhood diary. 'Do you want to be nothing more than a burger flipper?' and other disapproving statements with the addition of 'you're smarter than this' 'stop making careless little mistakes'. 'My childhood hardships were met with 'Just wait until you have real problems' or my successes came with 'Wish you would put that kind of effort into X' (x being the thing she thought to be important rather than what I thought was important). My hobbies were gross or took up space in 'her house' as if I didn't belong in any other room than my own. She put fish oil in my cereal because she heard somewhere it makes you smarter or something when I couldn't swallow it in pill form. She would be critical of my hair, weight, lack of makeup and tomboy-like dress style before I would leave the house. For this she also tried to get me to tell her I was gay but if she knew me even a little she would have known that was a 'no'. She would even disapprove of how I managed my money whether it was the lack of spending or lack of saving. She would ask for my opinion on something then tell me I'm wrong, ask me a yes or no question then when I would say 'no' she would try to convince me that 'yes' is the right answer. I wasn't allowed to have a brain, I wasn't allowed to acknowledge pain she may have inflicted involuntarily nor correct her when she was incorrect about something else be told to 'Stop being smart with me'. She would tell me to 'Do as I say, not as I do' this projection informs me she knew and does know how incorrectly she acts. This whole time I felt solace in music and art in the forms of drawing and poetry, any spare moment I had was filled with doodling or being in nature. Art was the fiber of my being and my endless well of joy, anyone who knew me even a little would know. I remember this moment because it hurt so much... my core value was used against me in her fit of unbridled and inescapable rage, barging herself into my room to tell me what I'm doing is a waste of time (20yo me doing art for college class). I said nothing because there is no point in responses when one is in this state of emotional turmoil. Maybe it was my lack in response, but she came back to give me another shot and said 'I wish I never would have let you do art as a child'. In that moment I felt as though I was told to be hated by the one person who truly needed to love me, as though nobody would ever believe what just happened and I was officially alone in the world (at the time I was single). To this day she refuses to acknowledge it even happened, or claims we have already talked it out when really it was just her telling me 'I made it up to hurt her' and that it's in the past and should 'get over it'. I'm now in a high paying career field using the art skills worked so hard on over my life and she uses it as social currency to brag about the daughter she raised. How I was 'born with the talent' as if hard work was never something I did all these years and is just an innate skill given to me by God rather than God giving me the interest and I followed his call no matter the spirits who try to steer me astray. Surely it was not that I escaped the world outside to find the world that contained the unconditional love found deep within ones self through the repetitive task of marking a blank paper until an image from the heart appeared to comfort me.

[@JJ_FLA]

Congratulations on your strength and success. ❤

[@im_no1special_except2my_father]

Go no contact with her (if you have children or are going to have children, people that treat you bad (or have treated you bad), will treat your children a hundred- a thousand times worse (& even worse when you're not around/presentl).

[@godzillamanstreb524]

Anger from being the scapegoat for decades caused the premature death of my husband….he had healed his mind quite a bit w/EMDR, cbt, chanting….but his body didn’t recover

[@svetlanafedorova6647]

So sorry about your loss, what kind of chanting he did?

[@thetranspersonalalchemist]

I’m so sorry too. And heartened to know he found someone to love him after all the abuse. I’d also love to know what kind of changing he was doing if you happen to know.

[@godzillamanstreb524]

@@svetlanafedorova6647 thank you

[@kayb5550]

I'm sorry for your loss. Was he no contact with his family?

[@godzillamanstreb524]

@@kayb5550 yes, we went full no contact in March ‘15…… so he had a few yrs and prior to that he didn’t see them too much since ‘12

[@brendanhoffmann8402]

I overcame my hate by writing a whole album of songs about the things I hate. It helped a lot. But the biggest thing that helps anger is resolution. Therapy will get you there, you just need to persevere. Find healthy things to get angry at and express that anger is the next step and road to making amends to that emotion.

[@jackierios2723]

Thank you for giving me the tools I was craving to learn as a child I don’t blame my parents they were hurt and sick too , but I want to get and be healthy and not living on disability due to the trauma ❤🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@tonyaferguson4838]

I have smoked cigarettes since I was 16. Of course I wasn’t consciously aware that I was using cigarettes to regulate myself/cope with major depression & deep traumas. The chemicals in them are insidiously addictive. At 51 I was diagnosed with COPD & had to go on disability. It’s all based on trauma. I now want more than anything else to get & keep my lungs/body as healthy as possible. I’m now able to return to work PT. I will continually (as long as there’s air in my lungs) be healing ❤️‍🩹 along with Tim Fletcher. So beyond grateful for him. God bless your journey.

[@bruceanderson4120]

@Tonya, when I finally quit after five years of starting and stopping I felt like I lost my best friend.

[@tonyaferguson4838]

Yes! They we’re my only constant that never abandoned me, the comfort became such damage & self harm. & Good for you, on healing & taking care of you! ❤️‍🩹​@@bruceanderson4120 Yes!

[@Chris-yf2zs]

12:15 wearing a mask 28:52 7 A's of healing. 1. Acceptance: courage to look at past, say it was crappy, did damage, but cannot redo, must accept. Not going to keep getting angry or wish I had another life. Starting point.

[@thePOWERofART-11]

man. i repressed so much anger. at 49 i'm tired and fed up with it.

[@godzillamanstreb524]

It takes practice, but ‘No’ is a complete sentence

[@AbuseFree23]

You aren’t kidding

[@Kamaya-gn8pf]

Same 😢

[@rachelorr9487]

Oh my gosh me too so much anger and I don't know what to do with it.

[@alikatseekingtruth1983]

Amen man. 41..... feeling like a lot of this shit can just go back down.

[@boldi2337]

"be angry about stuff" it's easier said than done, when one are in this chronic freeze response and you don't feel anything at all 😅

[@godzillamanstreb524]

True….taken me years to get out of the freeze response

[@svetlanafedorova6647]

Me too "frozen", just going through life emotionlessness

[@tizzlekizzle]

Feeling nothing is actually feeling too much. Start by noticing whatever u can and allowing.

[@dorijoe]

I had been stuck in freeze respone too until now. I'm 39. Now I feel overwhelming rage. I observe this as progress but it is very very very difficult to deal with. I want to destroy.

[@Augfordpdoggie]

But when you get angry people say "control your emotions"

[@Epona77]

I was raised in a home where my father dominated. He had a lot of anger. He also sexually abused me and my sister. I fell into the pattern of marriages and partnerships being like my home life, even though I knew that was a thing. I recently left an 18 year relationship where he emotionally abused me daily. The first year together, I was diagnosed with asthma. 3 years in, MS. 4 years in, hypothyroidism, 5 years in, an autoimmune rash that took 5 biopsies and grand rounds to give it a name. 9 years in, endometriosis. 12 years in, psoriatic arthritis and fibromyalgia and IBS. I already had chronic migraine since childhood. Now 4 months away and I have not yet had the usually season uptick in pain. My heart rate and heart rate variability have improved. I finally am getting deep sleep (I had a sleep study done because I couldn't sleep). Even my dog is more chill. We are healing.

[@annelbeab8124]

So good you took note and are taking care of yourself and body & mind heal accordinly, just returning to a healthy balance.

[@lori5946]

I have autoimmune, IBS, fibromyalgia, poor sleep, depression and brainfog. I fixed some with diet but still struggling and know I have a lot of unresolved anger. I am a codepend and take a lot of lies and disrespect. I also denied it my whole life. I denied my childhood trauma.

[@monikaleszko5343]

You’re not alone ❤

[@thePOWERofART-11]

so do i

[@jmvwegnerpriest]

💝

[@HighVibe001]

You're not alone. I also have childhood trauma that was repressed. When I recalled the memory I was in my 20s. At the same time, I was having crazy appetite changes and heart palpitations. I was diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism (autoimmune). Should've gone to a therapist then because I was depressed and had brainfog. I wish you well in your healing

[@dianehartnett1945]

Same here, I have autoimmune Hashimoto's as do my 3 siblings, a sister and 2 brothers. My father was a rageaholic and I know I have repressed rage as it comes out sometimes!! Now I have 22 years of chronic back pain, no doctor has found a cause, I believe there is a connection. 100%!

[@roughroadstudio]

I've done my best to be responsible for all my own parts in my relationships, but I realized that all of my relationships have been with narcissists. I have had a target on my forehead that they can see so clearly and which I never knew was there. I have been taken advantage of for my kindness and my compassion and my willingness to forgive my entire life, because I thought it was my job to fix everything for everybody I loved. Now that I know that it's a result of my CPTSD, I'm pretty much done with people on relationships. My favorite thing is to be solitary with my dogs and to be able to follow and pursue my interests without somebody telling me that I need to be doing something else, usually something for them. I'm sick of being gaslighted, lied to, have my trust betrayed, be used for what I can do financially for somebody, not for the person that I am

[@bingoandtoto]

I hear you.

[@dgvfsa66]

Nothing is more infuriating to me than when someone says "Fake it until you Make It". That has no meaning whatsoever and it's utter garbage.

[@ARS-fn6px]

as an authentic person who values authenticity very veyr much, I agree with you completely. Inauthentic people make my hairs in the back of my neck stand up.

[@Annakneedtunobasis]

It only works when it comes to smiling.

[@dgvfsa66]

A fake smile is worse than no smile at all.

[@mymi704]

Sorry to say but fake it until you make it can work. It really depends on how you use it. It's more of a boot straping system them a disingenuous behaviour. It's more like using certain postures to trigger certain responses in the brain. For example, let's say you have social anxiety and you want to improve your comfort when you walk in a public space. Well the "fake it 'till you make it" method would imply that you walk mindfully. So you try to stay aware of your body: back strait, shoulders up, look ahead, slower pace, breathing deeper... That is the physical attitude of social comfort and it will clash with the anxiety in the brain. Which ever source of feed back (anxious brain or confident body) you will feed the most will eventually take over. Of course, this is just a patch if you don't do real psychological work on yourself but it a great way to start the process.

[@wineberry6]

I agree. It depends on how and when you apply this technique. It's great when practicing self confidence, because it encourages practice :)

[@periwinkycrafts]

I just want my parents to acknowledge that I have feelings. I have stage four cancer and my mom abandoned me when she was supposed to take care of me four days after my first round of chemo. She couldn’t wait for me to get back to taking care of her fast enough. Anytime I have a simple boundary like asking her to respect my family, it’s like an active war in her eyes. I absolutely believe that I have cancer because I always had to be the perfect child - - perfect grades, very skinny, but with perfect skin, Ivy graduate, paid for my own wedding, graduate school. I started being her marriage counselor by the time I was ten and the only way that I could get any “love” was that an academic success.

[@stefaniakonstantinidou981]

Uu Don t need the acceptance of ur parents. God is our real father and mother and He accepts us and loves us. Not them. Ask Him what u need and He ll give it to u

[@danmalone5365]

The biggest problem I had was not honoring myself

[@danmalone5365]

DescriptionPudd'nhead Wilson is a novel by American writer Mark Twain. Its central intrigue revolves around two boys-one, born into slavery, with 1/32 black ancestry; the other, white, born to be the master of the house. The two boys, who look similar, are switched at infancy. Each grows into the other's social role.

[@alicerose9140]

Tim Fletcher, this is so good! You know it's the truth when what you hear brings on that back of the throat prickling of imminent tears, of finally being understood. I once heard 'behind anger is fear & behind fear is longing'. I have been told "you're just angry" and so, not acceptable. Now I know why.

[@soniapizzi8930]

Behind anger is injustice. Undressed injustice

[@cledosliop4175]

Gosh, I stumbled across this channel and found all your content is so precious. Thank you so so much for sharing that knowledge with us. Blessings. ❤

[@roxannedelmage4188]

Tim Fletcher presents such valuable information so effectively, and with love. So grateful!

[@shoutatthesky]

*Tim Fletcher

[@danmalone5365]

You disconnect from it, not because you don't know it's a mechanism that keeps you from blowing your brains out. Like my ex-wife, the mind can only handle so much and then it disconnects. But there is a price to pay addiction or insanity or death. Then when you're more able to handle issues that you didn't have the psychological tools to understand they become manageable in a, mindfulness order.

[@XZ858XZ]

Wow. This is a very well written and succinct way to describe disassociation and it’s progression in human beings. Thank you

[@songcirclecopyhouse2640]

I have learned from your lecture on the brain; of why it took me so long to figure out I was being gaslit. Why it took me so long to figure out a lot of things that I’m just figuring out at 66 years old with your help!

[@fatuusdottore]

I grew up with a mum and a brother who would get angry and violent at anything, and I think I went too far in the other direction. I suppress anger when I should be angry, because I was so terrified of them, and it comes out inevitably, it's made me sick, all this anger and sadness.... I wish I could just go to heaven.

[@Ayebaybaye]

Same here. Everyone was always angry and violent and I grew to be a people pleaser. Now letting and praying my body can heal itself. They’re all dead now and I’m no contact with my dad

[@GNGU247]

@Tim Fletcher I joined tonight to say thank you for everything you're doing for all of us. Your videos are excellent. The fact that you tie in ministry at the end makes it perfect. I thank God for putting people like you on my path of healing. You give a delivery in your lectures like no other. I feel it coming from your heart. I really appreciate your authenticity. It enables me to respect you and pay attention. That's the only way I can think to say that. All Praise To The Most High💜🔥✝️💯

[@wilsonmunoz1910]

Tim thank you for being so helpful. Amen

[@cherankimiorak1739]

These lessons are life changing 🙏🏽

[@Ngan.marianguyen]

Dr. Mate is a work of art. Im grateful for him🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@beadingbelle3486]

The only person allowed to be angry in my family was my father. Then my brother deceloped a strategy where he became even more violent than our father, whilst mother & i descended into depression & panic attacks. Father is now 98 & still as controlling & manipulative as ever. I'm the only one left (mother & two brothers all passed away) & he tells everone how terrible i am & they all believe him, thinking he's fantastic still living independently. He has an interfering lady friend & he doesn't realise she's playing him as much as he's playing her - like attracts like. They knows the truth of his violence or how it affected me. I can't wait for all this to be over so i can eventually find some peace - i can't put things in the past while they continue to happen in the present. The physical violence has stopped but not the disgusting mind games & manipulation. I'm in my 60s now & keep telling myself, 'this, too, will pass' but i just don't know when.

[@KellyGarland-k8j]

It's time to distance yourself you owe him nothing❤❤❤

[@beadingbelle3486]

@@KellyGarland-k8j Thank you.

[@manyblessings917]

I am so sorry this has happened to you. You can be free now and start healing now. Go no contact. It can be so freeing.

[@beadingbelle3486]

I hsve limited contact, interfering lady friend backed off somewhat since power of attorney papers were signed & i've had no contact feom her since - what a surprise.

[@Josurac11]

@@manyblessings917

[@shannonbelson7969]

This was the most important and complete message I’ve ever received on what I’m dealing with in my journey of healing from complex trauma! I’m blown away. ❤🙌🏼🙌🏼

[@FrankAllgood-uu1xd]

Very useful information presented in a very caring way. Thanks.

[@barbarapatton2377]

I just can’t get enough of this! Thanks

[@fleuriretepanouirenLui]

Thanks beloved ! I can confirm that fibromyalgia is caused by repressed anger and incapacity to say "no", because I was exactly like that and was really sick. Abba Father leads me to healness by helping me expressing the anger, and say "no" when it is "no" without culpability. I cannot say that I am completly healed, but it is rare now to have crisis. HalaluYah ♪♫

[@maximus0527]

This is a God-send

[@Lanearndt]

Nope, it's a gift of humanity!!

[@PaperclipProphets]

This is exceptional content and I am grateful to have found it 🙏 God bless you 🕊️

[@franceswalker3534]

After living with a narcissist for 43 yrs , I was diagnosed with Scleroderma an auto immune disease caused by anxiety and stress .He was a narcissist , causing both mental and physical . We had four children together who witnessed and will never forget . I wish I had had the strength to leave him years ago . For anyone out in this world today , be strong and have the courage and conviction to leave NOW otherwise you too could suffer for 40 odd years in this misery . We all deserve better AMEN

[@miller5170]

I have had dreams of alligators 🐊 since a child. They have recently came back. I finally realized the issue that led me through poor relationships as well. I had suppressed my anger due to my parents not liking any expression of frustration. In Chinese medicine ( I am a practitioner) that anger attacks the lungs and you end up with emotional asthma and depression. You basically turn the anger into yourself. Your children need a place to express emotions without being scolded! … anyhow I needed up with a cold that turned into double bacterial pneumonia at 3 and had emotional based asthma and attacks until I discovered Chinese medicine and herbs. The alligator I was always terrified and it was always in dark waters but never got me or anyone. It was my own anger I have been afraid to express. To this day I’m not very open about myself to my parents. It feels suffocating and it can kill the joy. Exercising and meditation has been the answer for me in previous years. Vigorous exercise and outdoors ❤

[@alexgillo9233]

Incredible. Thank you from the bottom of my ❤️

[@MrsD3Aer]

❤️ I’ve listened all the anger episodes…still some to go. But this one is so clear! Thank you so much Tim, you explain it so in detail…It gives me such inside to see what my problem could solve. ❤️

[@bevsofroniuk1193]

Incredible / sad... perhaps this is why my parents died so young.... my body so full of aches /chronic pain.... stuffed emotions...

[@PattiHerbertPoppy]

Thank you…I am beginning to be aware of the repressed anger in my life and the effect it has had on my health at all levels. Thank you

[@yourenough3]

❤ thanks pastor Tim. So appreciative. These videos are golden.

[@lennoxroger5311]

i guess I'm pretty randomly asking but do anyone know of a good website to watch new tv shows online?

[@jeremiahmisael8723]

@Lennox Roger I watch on FlixZone. You can find it on google :)

[@cameronaries4165]

@Jeremiah Misael Yup, been watching on Flixzone for years myself :D

[@lennoxroger5311]

@Jeremiah Misael Thank you, I went there and it seems like they got a lot of movies there =) Appreciate it!

[@jeremiahmisael8723]

@Lennox Roger Happy to help =)

[@lindavincent678]

I enjoy the way you present yourself and explain things very clearly so thank you

[@lindylou7960]

Thank you for all of your information. You provide such a service to so many.

[@created4passion442]

So glad I've been learning my union with Christ and this new nature and now our job is just to keep renewing our mind to our true identity in him and that he puts his desires in our heart

[@rebecca9949]

WOW. It's very rare that i've been able to find information on the effects of the death of a parent as a child. I do remember finding one statistic that about 5% of people lose their parents as a child. so 5% of the population but 40 % of cancer patients. My mind is blown right now. I found this video because I lost my dad when I was 8 and I've spent the last few years exploring repressed grief. It's occurred to me recently that I never experience anger and I need to address repress anger as well. Everything i've been reading and hearing about repressed anger rings true to me, particularly the psychosomatic effects in the body. I started grinding my teeth when I was 18. I've had shoulder pain since my early 20s. My legs started aching constantly for no apparent reason in my early 30s.

[@jmvwegnerpriest]

💝

[@chooseaname1423]

I have the leg aching too. Did you figure out what’s causing it?

[@Cheesycat948]

I have MS. love mates book. I thought “oh! It’s not something I did or chance. It’s trauma.” What a relief. I feel better getting away from stress. At least as much as possible.

[@ranc1977]

I watched Tim's videos about CPTSD in the summer of 2021 - and it was breakthrough source to learn trauma and how it affects my issues with social anxiety. IT helped me immensely. However - I do remember this video being in the series - and I skipped it. I skipped it because I suppressed anger (without realizing it) that I believed that this topic does not affect me at all - since I do not have anger issues. 3 years later - And I discovered 2 days ago that the reason why social anxiety exists - is due to suppressed anger. Inability to feel anger - is what keeps social anxiety issues alive. My own bias prevented me to hear information I needed to hear - to heal myself.

[@jasminetutt7631]

Hahaha...I also skipped this because I wasn't angry ❤

[@bluejay176]

I knew your body's emotions impact your health.

[@martiwalsh2069]

Hugely helpful scientific info in the first portion. One of the best sermons at the end. Very well done.

[@mayelaz5560]

He wrapped it up so nicely. Didn’t he?

[@CMoore8539]

Thank you for sharing this Pastor Tim!!

[@JulianaAndersson]

Learning to connect… my therapist told me healing attachment issues was easy, just need healthy(ier) people to be in relationship… I believed her for years. Then I just got pissed and was like I don’t believe you anymore… these “healthy” people… you got a “healthy friend” rental service? Cause I can’t find them… lol… now I just isolate except for a few healthy close friends.

[@janicetorto887]

Recently diagnosed MG, crisis of health after a lifetime of putting others above myself, to care giving to the point of burn out, homeless, and emotionally exhausted, plus in a relationship with someone who I don't know how to make sense of My body collapsed, because I could not find a way to separate myself from a toxic relationship

[@packetloss5297]

Thank you for these videos. I think you are helping me more than my therapist.

[@miller5170]

This makes me want to return to Christianity. It brings such relief to hear these after living with a narcissist and leaving finally a couple days ago trying to start over now. I need God more than ever and believe I was led to these videos on how to heal myself and how to in the future when the time is right, be within an intimate relationship.

[@Arthur-u7e6l]

I began my healing process 5 years ago and the first thing I did was go to church and beg God to help me. From that day until now my life has never been better. I have a lot to heal from and couldn't have done it without the lord. I hope you can heal and come to have a relationship with Christ. May God bless you always.

[@JenniferNewLife144]

God loves you and I pray that you are able to enter a church or get into a bible study. God delivered me from drugs and an abusive relationship.🙏

[@Thomas_Winters]

Hech yeah! Go in with renewed eyes

[@fayereeves6568]

Interesting. I have been sick and well enough times to know that in getting well, at some point I go thru anger. My husband and sister are chronically sick. They refuse to get angry.

[@JuliaShalomJordan]

Love this man. He is such a gift.

[@muertito8077]

Thank you ❤ you are helping me understand 🤗

[@OliveWeitzel]

Wow! Tim Fletcher, this is so far the best lesson I 've heard from your channel! Thank you so very much for this lesson!

[@melissaayres6347]

Thank you for sharing❤ I am finding your content EXTREMELY healing and therapeutic!!! The “recovery” stage/tools identify emotions, Feel emotions, Manage emotions, Express emotions, and Figure out needs/boundaries to maintain cortisol. The “8” A’s: Acceptance, Awareness, Angry, Atonomy, Attachment, Ascertion, Authentic, & Affirmation

[@Heart-Core]

God is lived through your honest truthful authentic self being in the now💖

[@Spritual-life-lessons]

Angry mom, back to back punishments for just asking or raising a question? Such and irony that what we were born with naturally, the art of saying no for our safety was snatched previously by my a caretaker and now we are re leaning and it’s so so f in hard.

[@susannluckmann7705]

It sucks, but hang in there. One day soon you'll wake up and see in your life how it is to have healthy boundries, being able to say NO without guilt, leaving any kind of assult/abuse with the person who commited it. Being able to forgive others and yourself and how freeing this is. And you will find yourself standing up for yourself. That is victory and it is very good. I can only do this through and with Jesus by my side. I am responsible and accountable for me and my thoughts, words and actions- no one else.xo

[@michellehumphreys]

I was weaned on cortisol and no boundaries and was assigned the role of problem child scapegoat! I have CPTSD, fibromyalgia and struggled with anorexia and weight problems and stomach issues. 4 women in my immediate family including myself had to have our Gall Bladders removed. Sibling has lupus. Multiple attempts at unaliving by myself and other family members. We ALL have CPTSD! Depression and anxiety are baseline normal. Only ONE person allowed to be angry when I was growing up and that wasn't me. All the rest of us were told "BE HAPPY DAMNIT"!Waiting for someone to tell me I am JUST CRAZY one more time.

[@TeaandLaceJournals]

I would like some advice for when you do start setting boundaries and taking your mask off: how to find safe connections because in my experience everybody that was in my life that I was connected to were only there because I didn’t have boundaries. They were in relationship with me only for what they got out of it. so starting over is very difficult especially when you still feel subconsciously, draw to the familiar

[@TeaandLaceJournals]

Also, I struggle with being ready or able to feel deserving of receiving anything rather than just being the giver all the time

[@jmvwegnerpriest]

@@TeaandLaceJournals 💝

[@joygwin6673]

start w one person..the worst one.. Talk to a mirror.. practice.. imagine what setting a boundary looks like and practice practice practice

[@gillr1149]

I think you have to express those boundaries clearly and calmly. My problem when I started this was that my suppressed anger would quickly rise to the surface and I would lose my temper. So think calm, and express your needs. Good luck

[@annelbeab8124]

Just let's not fear to be alone or lonely - which we suspect to be anyway. Look forward to a time where you have more time to yourself. It can have withdrawal symptoms, but I find them worse each time I get disillusioned. I will try to build new connections and gradually swing around with existing contacts. Without much noise. If I'm sure I don't first have to announce I'm finally showing some healthy adult behaviour. The more silently I do it, the more natural it feels to me and others First step: biting one's tongue and pausing before making offers and promises. Such a habit 😂

[@gabrieldecio858]

Thank you for these talks/presentations. As I listen to you, I have the impression that you are talking about me, and, indeed, you are. The information you convey and the way you convey it help a lot.

[@BaiMengLing]

This is so spot on. My mom died of breast cancer at 40 (I was just 11) she had big psychological issues that she unfortunately vented on me by abusing me emotionally and physically. Anger literally killed her, and it has also destroyed my health (eating disorder, chronic pain, etc) my grandmother (who probably passed her issues to my mom) " forgot" her pain by developping alzheimer after my mom died.

[@nonrorro]

The best class ever. Thanks Tim 👍

[@lealala7348]

You re videos are saving my life.... Thank you Lord for Tim. Amen ❤❤❤

[@pattayaesl7128]

Blessings as "easy" --- My mom's god is convenience and comfort.

[@thinkingallowed1st]

Thank you for showing me what boundries are. It took a long time for me to grasp what boundries meant. Through your videos i have learnt much about myself. Reluctantly at first to now embracing the truth within myself. Thank you

[@cptswann]

People need to understand how easy it is to traumatize their own children and how ubiquitous complex trauma is in our society. The world males complete sense when you look at it through the lense of trauma. No one hurts another without having first been hurt by someone else.

[@joebloggs339]

People who say "It's in the past" are not just annoying, they are WRONG. Trapped, unresolved anger exists in the present.

[@lisacummins5135]

This is the most excellent presentation... covers it all... amazing work Tim.

[@Nomy000]

thank you, i do think to learn to comunicate your anger is key as an adult , i was repressing it 100%, comunicating it is helpful, to learn how to comunicate it. thank you very helpful.

[@raindrops_falling]

Wow! So much wonderful information to know!!!! Even though at times, just hearing the information, makes it difficult just to breathe.

[@NatashaLeah9]

Thank you Tim. Wow, this was very helpful, relatable and informative. I am unable to afford your courses or membership, but I really appreciate all your content on you tube and these amazing talks. These videos also bring me lots of hope and strategies and tools to grow, heal and meet my own needs. Thank you from all my heart for all you teach. Bless you.

[@lovecatspiracy]

Instead of a PTSD dog, we all should have an Emotional Support Ram 🐏

[@songcirclecopyhouse2640]

Lol!

[@skinnyway]

Thors Hammer

[@CarleyRabbit]

😂😂😂

[@annelbeab8124]

😂

[@machelle5522]

❤😂

[@Wholelottarosie-lc8ed]

Let's see I've had uterine fibroids, 2 knee surgeries, part of my kidney removed and the last, bone marrow transplant in 2020 to beat leukemia, because my DNA mutated. I'm healthy and strong otherwise but have loved my entire adult life in and out of the hospital. Everything you speak about happened in my childhood. These are painful pills to swallow and it's like being punched in the gut, but just like the chemotherapy, I need this to restart my system. This therapy is the stem cells to my new life. It really hurts to hear that because of the way you were treated as a child will lead you to a life of physical illness and suffering, it's like reaffirming how much your family of orign hated you. Ugh. Thank you so much for putting out these series. And you everyone reading this, I send you nothing but love. Not to have toxic positivity, but we are facing this head on which means, it's only up from here 💞💕💗

[@shararehtahooni6728]

All my questions about why do my children and myself behave in certain ways is answers by listening to your wonderful talk but I wish I know how to help myself and my young adult children. I can’t find any talk about how to fix these childhood wounds 😢

[@franco2b145]

You don’t. You encourage therapy. Therapy cannot work if the young adults aren’t willing. They need to be willing participants. However, you can help yourself. Perhaps start there?

[@marymcsherry1965]

IBS can also be caused by a currrent major emotional trauma

[@wirelessunday9897]

Thanks!

[@packetloss5297]

Interesting, IBS, everyone in my family has it, all trauma survivors.

[@lesliecastillo-butler9186]

I’ll be listening to this once a week thank you

[@ShivaLadiva-sb9nw]

The way you explain it brings to me great clarity Add to my personal struggles exterior struggles living in Israel and feeling angry at how we are being treated and yet seeing how Arabs can live work in Israel and get help while i as a non Arab Isrseli receive no help from my government and then the world and media accuses Israel of discrimination while i ,a Jewish Israeli with so much PTS from all these wars receive no help is absurd

[@davidmckayii752]

Thank you for thinking about this stuff. You use plain language and ssomehow still express complex situations. For me, it's deep, and clicks within me.

[@mariGentle]

You are SO helpful ❤

[@grzegorzbaran5776]

I find the lectures very good, very helpful, but at the same time quite heavy. I feel like going through all of the lectures will take me like 6 months. Firstly, there are many of them (thanks for that!); secondly, I can only do one lecture every other days, I need a couple of days break after each one.

[@elainehiggins713]

Exactly. It is quite overwhelming-so much helpful information!

[@susannluckmann7705]

But that is a good way, Baran. Maybe even take one lesson a week and think about it for the rest of the week before you get to the next lecture. If you're a man of prayer, maybe pray for understanding and how to contemplate this into your life. I think it is very difficult for many people- including myself. Wishing you ALL THE BEST on your way of recovery.💔❤️‍🩹💞💖😇

[@makaylahollywood3677]

I was told it was bad to be angry.. PTSD dog, amazing!

[@TheTouchofsoul]

You are describing my life

[@GodIsLove1John416]

This makes a lot of sense why my hair started going grey at 14yrs old. My family blamed their problems on me, I wasn't allowed to be authentic but serve them; setting me up to be used by so called "friends" & romantic interests resulting in becoming lonely, unable to trust others even if/when they have good intentions from being lied to so many times before. With unhealthy people feeling normal, it's difficult to want to take the time to find a healthy surrogate family who would even want to take the time to help unhealthy me to heal. I wish I was loved when it mattered in the first 7yrs. I stopped loving myself from all the rejection/hate recieved after learning I was never loved/lovable.

[@dashanichols5950]

Interestingly enough, my background is what Tim stated and I was JUST diagnosed with breast cancer!!

[@angelaped]

This is fantastic

[@htopherollem649]

there's definitely a mind/body connection, not denying this, but a surprising amount of physical ailments are being linked to microbiome deficiencies (caused by the modern diet, and chemical exposure from the materials used to create modern life) also the deficiencies resulting from cesarean birth and formula feeding.(autoimmune disorders ,athsma , bronchitis digestive disorders ) the wrong gut bacterias have been linked to even mental health disorders (depression, and autism, etc.)

[@jennmari7425]

Wow thank you❤

[@jayoshree7655]

Wonderful suggestion, thank you sir 😊

[@tonyromano6220]

Expressing anger can cause all sorts of problems…..😂😂😂😂😂. Explosive anger.

[@Nathan-bq8wr]

Damn.... This guy is explaining myself to me...... I never had a chance