I Called The Bride A BRIDEZILLA At Her Wedding When She Accused The DJ Of Being Unprofessional AITA

[@ShatoraDragondore]

Story 1: The DJ is being payed for their work. Fucking up and bringing the wrong USB is unprofessional. Full stop.

[@MarcosRobertoDosSantosJF]

Exactly. He could store all playlists on a cloud service (to acess them online everywhere). This would fix the problem.

[@Ambidexter143]

The DJ was very unprofessional and should give a refund.

[@ShatoraDragondore]

@@Ambidexter143 I could see the couple just not paying him. To forget the one thing needed for this job, I'd bet the DJ got into booze at the venue. Or showed up messed up.

[@itsjustmaddisen]

It’s not that hard to have distinguishable USBs. I have serious memory issues due to mental health and to remember which USB I have is which (serious work stuff, music and movies) I actually name them and they’re all different colours. The cousin just sounds lazy and unprofessional and a bit of a douche. Imagine being paid and cannot even be bothered to know what USBs are which.

[@yobabycolin2933]

Story 1: Not to mention we have the DJ refusing to refund them on top of everything else. Honestly, as awful as OP is, cousin makes him look like a saint.

[@rylashadow18]

This is where video evidence, witness statements and the how it was fixed by an outside source will be really telling about just how unprofessional the DJ was. I'd be taking that to court with everything that shows just how careless this so called professional was. The pictures would be shared to places like google as well as any site like angie's list and yelp stating why no one should hire this DJ for his crummy attitude and lack of care for customer satifsaction. On the bright side he can get a job elsewhere. Also I hope the groom cuts OP out of their life for this. No one needs this level of toxic in their lives.

[@HighLordBaron]

Yeah. We are all humans and humans make mistakes, but you need to own up to your mistakes and do your best to correct them. ESPECIALLY in a professional setting like this! Poor wife man.....

[@HenleyTaylorYT]

Exactly. This guest and his cousin were so wrong, and should have at the least refunded, and so much more.

[@violinda.]

My daughter's wedding was last month. During the mother/son dance the music cut out. Without missing much of a beat, everyone started singing (it was a very well-known song). It was quite sweet actually. Those kinds of things happen. Forgetting the whole play list? Yikes! Very unprofessional.

[@shikuthetempest]

That is such a sweet story, I would have loved to have seen that. Congrats to your daughter!

[@mrs.h2725]

lol I can't believe the DJ still expected to get paid when he failed at the most basic part of the job, and was totally unapologetic about it.

[@heatherduke5410]

That's really sweet. And yeah, what happened at your daughter's wedding was normal. The DJ apparently also makes this mistake often, given what he said to the bride.

[@susankaempfer8427]

And then refusing to even apologize? 😮

[@jikook7457]

I'm glad the moment wasn't spoiled for ur son in law and his mom. Congrats to them on the wedding

[@nadzjanz]

Story 1: I am the only one who also think it's ridiculous that the guy thought it was appropriate to essentially interject himself into a conflict between a client (bride/groom) and the service provider (DJ)? Who gets themselves involved in that when it's 100% not their business?

[@robertx8020]

An entitled idiot? ;) And then post it on Reddit to expect sympathy?

[@thatgirlperson]

Well I can kind of understand it though if someone was flipping out at my cousin I'd definitely interject myself to try and calm the situation

[@technicaldifficulties368]

@@thatgirlperson Maybe, but not to take their side when they messed up that bad. Just to make sure my cousin wasn't going to be hurt

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

@@thatgirlperson Really! God good, his cousin FAILED at his job as a DJ by NOT bringing the music the BRIDE & GROOM PAID for and then deliberately playing music from someone else's wedding.

[@jackspring7709]

No, you're not the only one who thought that - it was absolutely none of his business.

[@wheelsndealz]

Adultery is literally illegal in the military. That one commenter explained it well. So op could have charged them with that and the spouse would know anyways.

[@BruinPhD2009]

Indeed. And the the definition of adultery under UCMJ is actually very narrow, as in, you have to prove actual penetration, otherwise the charge is sexual misconduct. So, the fact they got caught in the act left OP with no choice BUT to charge them accordingly. The punishment is very much in line with other cases with which I dealt as a company commander. You might argue that making them tell their spouses what happened is a bit much, but trust me, the spouses would have found out the minute the pay didn't look right.

[@celestialangel666]

I think part of the usual discipline for cheaters IS calling the spouse to let them know. At least that I recall.

[@wheelsndealz]

@@celestialangel666 yeah. It's not likely to actually go to ucmj so calling the spouse is usually the go to. If the chain of command even cares enough to do that. Sometimes it's covered up or seen as normal. So op is literally just being the better person and upholding the honor and integrity of a leader.

[@celestialangel666]

@@wheelsndealz True....

[@ashh4929]

I'm not really military savvy but I know if you have the moral aptitude to basically have a license to kill if need be and hold a certain governmental power, they should be held responsible for any morally reprehensible actions and most especially while on duty.

[@who_the_fuck_is_riley5813]

Story 1: YTA. A huge, gaping AH. The "professional" DJ said it happens a lot? It shouldn't. That means he can't do his job. OP inserted themself into an argument that they weren't a part of. And then, on top of that, called the bride a bridezilla for expecting her playlist to be played at her wedding. And the cherry on top of the assholery is that neither OP nor the garbage DJ apologized.

[@757Bricksquad]

It doesn’t happen a lot. This is why people pay lots of money for reputable DJs at a wedding. I work as a DJ a side gig for a business in south East VA. My boss (the owner) does most of the events while giving his employees (other DJs) 2-3 events a month usually also weddings just the smaller scale ones. If I EVER forgot the entire playlist for the wedding I would be fired the first time. This is extremely unprofessional.

[@who_the_fuck_is_riley5813]

@@757Bricksquad that's what I would assume. I'm glad to get the perspective from an actual person doing that job

[@Mkay999]

Story 1: “it’s just music it’s not a big deal.” The whole mans career is the MUSIC

[@SorenPenrose]

Towel Story: He removed her towel without her knowledge or consent because he knew he wasn't going to stand up for her if his family tried to ridicule her for it. He is so spineless that he took his family's side before any indication of a conflict even existed, and he went behind his gf's back to do it.

[@Ambidexter143]

OP stole something from OP and for what? Because the family might ridicule her? Who would care? YTA

[@djbabyowl7926]

I have curly/ ethnic hair. I can only use a very soft shirt to dry my hair. Her hair could be destroyed using a regular towel.

[@katie6731]

​@@djbabyowl7926 I was going to say the same thing. I didn't realize I had wavy/curly hair until a year ago. (Most people won't understand that, but there are a lot of us who just thought we had frizzy straight hair that wouldn't behave, so I'm in good company.) I stopped using a regular towel to sop up the excess water in my hair. I now use a soft, bamboo pillowcase to micro-plop and a bamboo beanie to finish plopping for about half an hour before air drying. It makes a *huge* difference. I get my hair bleached out so I can have fun colors. Bleach is really rough on wavy/curly hair, so it's incredibly important that I use the correct tools to take care of it. The correct drying method is a huge part of keeping my hair happy and seeming to be relatively low-maintenance for someone who isn't paying close attention. 💙

[@susankaempfer8427]

@@djbabyowl7926exactly. We all (daughters) have smooth microfiber towels FOR OUR HAIR. I’d also like to comment on how he makes a unilateral decision on what someone else needs. Who does that?

[@Ambidexter143]

Second story: I'm a retired Navy Senior Chief. What OP did is called "Captain's Mast" or non-judicial punishment. I've seen people sent to Captain's Mast for much more minor offenses. I've even put one or two sailors on report myself for lesser offenses. What OP did was totally justified, including having the couple tell their spouses why they'd been demoted and fined.

[@idefinitelyknowwhatimdoing8995]

Story 3: What even is this? So he decided that her hair care routine is abnormal just because he was uninformed?? As a woman with curly hair, microfiber towels are super important to my routine. They are less damaging to hair and dry hair better. Also, like many people said, his family shouldn't see what she uses to dry her hair, and even if they do, why does it matter?

[@RosesCookiesAndMilk]

I think he’s angry cause he’s been told off for using that towel. So he’s just being petty

[@idefinitelyknowwhatimdoing8995]

@@RosesCookiesAndMilk I hadn't thought of that. That could be the case

[@CocoCece08]

Fellow curly haired lady here, and yes, we have a lot of certain items that help us. Shampoo, leave in conditioner, frizz release, brushes... combs... yeah.

[@MarionHogan-m5i]

I have a hair towel and don’t think it’s unusual!

[@user-wr3vt8uq4s]

So OP had a good thing going and then, for nearly no reason at all, decided to screw with it until his relationship is a flaming mess. This sounds like a pathological self-destructive streak.

[@alyzu4755]

OP:"I love how low maintenance my GF is! She doesn't use hair products or a blow-dryer!" Also OP: "I'm embarrassed by the towel my GF uses in order to keep her hair low maintenance, so I stole it from her". 🙄

[@yarnovah]

You said just what I was thinking. That story took a sharp turn right there.

[@bellesmith8925]

“She said she needed space so I keep calling her, but she won’t pick up.” That alone makes him the AH

[@AndyyWithAY]

OP and his unprofessional cousin are the AH. Leaving the DJ playlist is like going to read to kindergarteners and bringing Fifty Shades of Grey instead of a child appropriate book 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️

[@who_the_fuck_is_riley5813]

In all fairness Fifty Shades reads like it was written by children

[@BruinPhD2009]

@@who_the_fuck_is_riley5813 you mean, it wasnt?!? 🤣

[@bellarose-au]

🤣🤣🤣 great analogy!

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 4 the dad is literally replacing them. Like they were a dime a dozen. That is unforgivable. I hope Op will cut him off for good.

[@catandrobbyflores]

Didn't we have a story where another step parent/ girlfriend wanted to name the baby after the op just because? Where do these people find the drugs they are?

[@pippo17173]

You know it's bad when the dad refuses to go to therapy because it's a sign of weakness. Like he us letting himself to be a door mat just to get over and not die alone.

[@jvangriend560]

Was thinking the same. Dad said to not let others see weakness, but yet he's letting the new wife exploit his weakness.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

There was no official update but Op made a long comment that’s kinda like an update: “Hi everyone first of all I would like to say thank you for all the condolences. I really appreciate it. ❤️ I’m already near the character limit on my post so I’m just going to add a quick edit here. To address some things my dad wouldn’t be homeless if I kicked him out he still has a well paying job and the old house we used to live in before the accident which is under his name. Also the house he currently lives in is under my name I bought the house for him as a surprise, as way to show that I appreciate him and hoping that it might help repair our relationship. He didn’t really care to go through changing the names on the house because he believed I owed it to him since he raised me and I just went with it to make him happy. He never really thought I’d try to argue against this and tbh I feel pretty low doing this, but I have been footing the bill for the house and most of his lifestyle and am tired of them showing zero appreciation. I guess the names were just the straw that broke the camel’s back. A lot of people also mentioned how naming the twins after my siblings isn’t necessarily a bad thing and I agree if they were doing it with an honest intent to respect them or using middle names. But I can tell my father’s doing this because he is still grieving which is why I was upset with him during the party I’m not the best at expressing myself so some of my anger might have been misplaced but I was more frustrated with the fact that he’s trying to cope with their loss by trying to replace them and in a way replace me. Also I am kicking them out legally (I’ve given him and his wife a 30 day notice) and have a lawyer. I know some of you have suggested to go NC with him I might after this but I want to give him the ultimatum of therapy even if that doesn’t repair our relationship I’m hoping it will at least help him grieve in an appropriate way. I’ve tried to go through all of your comments and reply to your dm’s but I just wanted to say I really appreciate everyone’s judgement and the advice given. My dad and I have agreed to talk to this weekend without his wife present and I will update if anything changes. If it doesn’t then I’ll just update at the end of the month when they leave.”

[@janicewilcox8590]

"didn't want your family to think she's weird because of the towel" - why would your family care? That would be the weird part.

[@susankaempfer8427]

How weird would his family think HE is that he went behind her back, sneaking into her luggage, to remove the towel? 😳

[@fcold9402]

4. NTA. If it is your house, then you are a landlord and can evict at any time of your choosing as long as you follow the legal process. Edit: Hey it was good advice to "never let people see you are weak". Perfect advice for why you can kick them out without guilt or regret...i mean, you wouldn't want to show weakness by backing out of the eviction. 😉

[@deijix]

It’s so funny to me that in the second story some of the people that voted YTA said that he can’t make that “moral judgment”. Uh… that cheating is bad? How is that a moral judgment it’s just a fact. Cheating on your spouse is one of the ultimate betrayals. There’s really no debate about how you should feel about it. It’s just not good.

[@daryatislenko4651]

Welcome to the 21st century where cheating is not supposed to be judged and cheaters rarely face the conciquances of their actions.

[@Icalasari]

Not to mention that adultery is literally a punishable offence in the military These Redditors would so be the ones whining and complaining that their rights are being infringed on if they were in the military and punished

[@llynxfyremusic]

​@daryatislenko4651 ???? Cheating is still bad in the 21st century and no one said otherwise??

[@pansprayers]

Ummm, if the DJ thinks things like that happen 'often', cousin needs to get a new job. You literally LABEL USB sticks, because it's your ONE JOB. If you're being paid, do it RIGHT.

[@fhuber7507]

The obvious clue that everyone is ignoring... DJ was on a level of incompetence approaching Darwin Award. No way this was their full time job. Probably a friend of a family member doing it on the cheap. Pros will have the playlist in a file folder of their DJ sound system... Not a USB stick. Bridezilla cheaped out... Got about what she paid for. A completely incompetent DJ.

[@nucitamoore]

1st story, YTA. It is a big deal man, a professional should not have made that mistake and if they do, you do not just shrug it off.

[@SLTheOneAndAwesome19]

Story 3: OP is SUCH A CONTROL FREAK. YTA. Why did he feel the need to remove the towel? Why did it bother him?? I have curly hair. I *need* a microfiber towel if I don't want to be a frizzball. I assume OP's GF has similar hair. Also, I wanna say that OP thinks badly of his family if he thinks they'd make fun of his GF but, considering he came out of them... yeah. I guess they could.

[@carolroberts4614]

How would they even see it? Family bath night? Or perhaps they have a maid to unpack for you!

[@pansprayers]

Story 2: The UCMJ is pretty clear about this policy, and YES you will be downgraded, and YES, they will be required to notify their spouses WHY. The no-frat rules are there for a reason. You can't be dependent on the person next to you to keep you safe if there's something to leverage against them.

[@mindyschocolate]

Exactly. I’m wondering why skipper even doubted himself on this. Reduced rank and half month pay x 2 is typical, and their spouses will not exactly miss the loss wages in their account and see their SO in uniform with a lower rank on it. They’re not hiding this no matter what.

[@pippo17173]

They played a stupid game, get the stupid prize in demotion and no meal ticket back home 🤣

[@pansprayers]

@@mindyschocolate I knew a Sargent that straight up received a discharge for this kind of thing with a subordinate. She was single, he talked her into going off of her birth control to 'increase her performance during training', and threatened to skew her annual PT results if she didn't. She got pregnant, he got Chaptered, his (now ex)wife got alimony, half his retirement, and child support, and the Corporeal was medically discharged (there were witnesses to duress). It was a trainwreck.

[@pirateadam3686]

See, the 'notify the spouse' bit is the only part I'm stuck on that pulls me in the YTA direction. Not military and British, so absolutely no idea what the rules are, but it might be the posters wording that's throwing me off. If he made the people call up their spouses and say they were having an affair then that part, and that part alone, is in the YTA camp for me. It's a private matter between spouses and goes well beyond the remit of any employer.Again, not military so don't know what the contract says and can only use employee/employer as a reference. If it was 'they had to notify dependents of a loss in rank, which caused questions and lead to divorce' then defiantly NTA - that's just a natural consequence. Also, NTA for the rest of the stuff.

[@pippo17173]

@@pansprayers it's nice the millatary take affiars seriously because its hilarious on how fast the karma train went.

[@gremal2135]

For the hair towel story, yes definitely YTA. I use a special towel thingy call a Turbie Twist, and I would be super upset if someone took it out of my bag without telling me. It dries my hair super fast, and it lets me get dressed without getting my shirt super wet.

[@champslim]

I used the same one

[@catpatrick3838]

Yep!

[@sidhedanu]

Mine doesn't make my hair dry super fast - that takes about 12 hours in the winter. But it does remove more water than a normal towel and doesn't damage my hair.

[@elaexplorer]

Story 1: YTA. Cousin is also AH. He refused to apologize?! Hope he never gets another wedding gig.

[@lrock48]

Probably wouldn't, word of mouth travels fast and wide. All who attended the wedding now knows OP's cousin is a damn amateur and unreliable, would probably not recommend to their family and friends, that's a massive list of potential customers lost.

[@Emily-ck9ji]

"The maximum punishment for adultery, defined in the Uniform Code of Military Justice as Extramarital Sexual Conduct is a dishonorable discharge, forfeiture of all pay and allowances, and confinement for up to a year." --- Getting a demotion and a divorce was kind compared to what would have happened when my father was still in the Navy. The YTA judgements are likely from people who are not in the military, do not have military family or friends, and are under the impression that being in the military is like working for a corporate office. This is a safety and moral concern, not a CEO poking their nose in where they don't belong.

[@ScooterBond1970]

My guess is that those who voted YTA are cheaters themselves, or at least pro-cheat/free love.

[@joycec8]

Hair Towel Story: YTA. People have special hair towels that are useful for drying hair better as part of their care routine. You could've just left well enough alone, but wanted to make a point because it's weird to you.

[@NewGothOnTheBlock]

Have seen many stories like this here where a guy says “My girlfriend/wife has beautiful skin, hair etc”, but go out of their way to throw away, hide or take out products for their personal care routine because “it’s high maintenance” or “she doesn’t need it”.. uh.. genius.. they have lived with their beautiful skin, hair etc their whole life’s and KNOW BEST how to take care of it. Laughed at the “I don’t know anyone who has towels for just hair” part because I have a whole plank in my bathroom closet for just hair towels 😹

[@Russman67]

And he knew it was a bad idea so he took it out without telling her. This guy needs to fall on his knees and apologize. He done f------ up. 🤦‍♂️🤦🤦‍♀️

[@rylashadow18]

@@Russman67 This falls under the "If he did this behind my back what else is he capable of doing behind my back?" Doubt has been cast and now she's seen the red he's painting all over him.

[@mothertrucker936]

@@rylashadow18 was looking for THIS. Trust has been breached. I don’t give him much chance on getting her back

[@joycevelazquez2833]

And he's worried about his family judging and making fun of her, WTF, I would run from the lot of them.

[@mindyschocolate]

Story 2: adultery is against the UCMJ. Why is the CO even questioning his very accurate punishment? NTA. Keep being the CO that holds his sailors to high standards.

[@lillithherondale1972]

Story one: yta. Cousin was a DJ and literally messed up at his job. He refused to apologize or refund for not doing his job properly. You also had no right to get involved. And this happens to him often? Maybe he should find a new job if he can't even get the right playlist for the right job. This is what labels are for. They had every right to be upset with the DJ

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

STORY 1: *YTA* So they need a simple request for what their entrance and first dance songs were going to be and they didn’t get what they want because your cousin brought the wrong playlist? Weddings are extremely stressful, especially for the bride that wants everything to go according to plan. The Cousin is a DJ and his job is to provide the music. for the DJ to say “Oh get over it stuff like this happens all the time you don’t need to kick up a big fuss about it“… That is extremely unprofessional…For an extremely stressed out bride that’s a big deal. Honestly we’re close to situation I feel like bridezilla is overused in the wrong context. This is a prime example. If “stuff like this happens all the time“ the cousin is a pretty shitty DJ especially since he refused to apologize. If word gets out and people learn how unreliable he is at providing the music he was requested to provide, I’d be surprised if he ever got another job DJing for someone’s event. STORY 2: *NTA* Honestly there is no excuse for cheating. If you love and respected your spouse you wouldn’t be so quick into giving in. “Oh but they’re only human“ ……yeah and humans suffer the consequences for the shitty actions. Military spouses are putting so much trust, love, and respect on their loved one when they get deployed for work. Spouses deserve to know that they were being cheated on. What if that woman got pregnant while she was away from home? Not only will she be returning to her husband was another man’s baby, but that man’s wife is going to get the news that her husband knocked up one of his coworkers when that other woman comes to him for child support or God forbid housing if her husband kicks her out for cheating on him. STORY 3: *YTA* Why are you so embarrassed over a towel? Just because you don’t understand someone’s hair care routine does not mean you get to undermine them and discard of things you find “useless or weird”. This reminds me of the story Mark read where the boyfriend threw away his girlfriend security blanket because he thought it was childish that she was sleeping with a small blanket. It’s fucking fabric! Why are so many boyfriends so insecure over there girlfriend having a piece of fabric they enjoy? It’s just a towel, it’s just a blanket, it’s just fabric why are you so fragile you feel insecure/uncomfortable by fabric that you don’t personally use???? Damn! STORY 4: *NTA* Honestly people can name their children whatever they want to name them. (I saw a TikTok where a girl explained that her friend is named diarrhea because when her mother came to United States she first heard that word I thought it was the most beautiful thing ever. Obvious language barrier, but my doctors tried talking her out of naming her diarrhea by explaining what it is the mom didn’t listen because she thought the name was so beautiful) Although naming your unborn children the names of children you lost seems like a very unhealthy way of coping with the loss. It’s like you’re trying to replace them so you can pretend they never died in the first place. Stepmom seems like a bitchy Golddigger. dad seems spineless. I’m so sick of hearing stories where the parents, mostly the Dad, automatically chooses their new partner 100% over their child. If stepmom was going to treat OP like shit and dad was just gonna sit back and let happened….OP is not obligated to house them. Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm or this case don’t let people abuse you and let them live in your house.

[@jackspring7709]

Towel Story: - He snuck into his girlfriend's case, in the middle of the night, to take her towel away because he was afraid his parents would think she's weird? OP - I don't think it's her they need to be worried about.

[@fytrndm]

The last story is hilarious when you read the whole context and updates. 1. The house is still in OP's name. They never changed the name because her father thought she _owed_ it to him for raising her. *WTF* 2. OP's wealth came from her maternal side and some good investments on her part. 3. She also gives monthly stipends to her father to help with his lifestyle. 4. Stepmonster thought the house is in OP's father's name, he never corrected her and OP didn't even get the chance to correct her because she didn't meet the stepmonster after the wedding. 5. OP's father still have the old house in his name so don't worry, they're not going homeless. 6. OP is serving them eviction notice. 7. OP made therapy a requirement for continuing their relation. 8. OP was hurt but she was never against her father finding someone else. She was hurt because she wasn't even invited to her own father's wedding.

[@Mew_Mokuba_Akari]

I hope OP cuts them off financially. Dad wants to be with crazy B and her twins over the adult kid who's supporting him fine. Not to mention the sicko B wanting to erase OP's siblings but "replacing" them with hers. OP should just cut them off and change numbers. Only give it to people who support you. When or if dad ever comes to his senses he can contact someone from mom's family and let them decide if he's genuine enough before contacting OP.

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

Breaking down and crying is NOT a sign of weakness, it's a sign you are a caring HUMAN BEING.

[@elaexplorer]

Story 3: if she dyes her hair she probably uses a separate towel because hair dye can still come off on the towel especially if using a red color. She may also not want to use a towel on her head that has been used to dry someone's butt. A slight germiphobia that she controls by using her own towel. He then took that control away from her. YTA

[@sidhedanu]

Hair towels absorb water better and don't damage strands. They're very popular with people who have very long hair they want to take extra good care of.

[@locusxe1411]

Story 2 NTA- Anyone who disagrees just say “Well if I ever catch you being cheated on I won’t let you know. It’s not my business right🤷‍♂️.”

[@joycec8]

DJ story: YTA. DJ had ONE JOB of playing correct songs and ducked that up. It's not bridezilla to be mad about that or the DJ and your flippant attitude about it and not apologizing for the mistake.

[@songohan3321]

There is a subreddit called r/onejob.

[@joycec8]

@@songohan3321 I'm going to check that out!

[@MsTemptation]

S2: NTA. The op did the right thing. The military doesn't play when it comes to rules. Those cheaters got exactly what they deserved.

[@bioshockbrat9171]

Story 1: the music, is the most IMPORTANT part of my wedding, it sets the tone of the events taking place and subtly tells my feelings like a story. Music is very important to me in everyday life so my wedding day is of the utmost importance. My playlist changes everyday, and I've been working on it for over a year.

[@MissMEhere]

Towel Story: YTA 100%. It’s not weird. There are special types of towels for hair. Why did it matter so much to OP if she uses a towel specifically for her hair?

[@MsAnimefan95]

Apparently Story 4 OP made an update informing her dad that therapy would be a requirement, but I'd also throw in the requirement that the twins do NOT get the names of her dead siblings.

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

Not really an official update but a very long comment: “Hi everyone first of all I would like to say thank you for all the condolences. I really appreciate it. ❤️ I’m already near the character limit on my post so I’m just going to add a quick edit here. To address some things my dad wouldn’t be homeless if I kicked him out he still has a well paying job and the old house we used to live in before the accident which is under his name. Also the house he currently lives in is under my name I bought the house for him as a surprise, as way to show that I appreciate him and hoping that it might help repair our relationship. He didn’t really care to go through changing the names on the house because he believed I owed it to him since he raised me and I just went with it to make him happy. He never really thought I’d try to argue against this and tbh I feel pretty low doing this, but I have been footing the bill for the house and most of his lifestyle and am tired of them showing zero appreciation. I guess the names were just the straw that broke the camel’s back. A lot of people also mentioned how naming the twins after my siblings isn’t necessarily a bad thing and I agree if they were doing it with an honest intent to respect them or using middle names. But I can tell my father’s doing this because he is still grieving which is why I was upset with him during the party I’m not the best at expressing myself so some of my anger might have been misplaced but I was more frustrated with the fact that he’s trying to cope with their loss by trying to replace them and in a way replace me. Also I am kicking them out legally (I’ve given him and his wife a 30 day notice) and have a lawyer. I know some of you have suggested to go NC with him I might after this but I want to give him the ultimatum of therapy even if that doesn’t repair our relationship I’m hoping it will at least help him grieve in an appropriate way. I’ve tried to go through all of your comments and reply to your dm’s but I just wanted to say I really appreciate everyone’s judgement and the advice given. My dad and I have agreed to talk to this weekend without his wife present and I will update if anything changes. If it doesn’t then I’ll just update at the end of the month when they leave.”

[@Russman67]

Story 1: Okay your cousin had one job. One. Job. He had weeks or months to prepare for this one job and he blew it. You can't get upset at her for being upset at him blowing his one. Job. I'd be upset and I'm not even the bride. YTA and your cousin should quit this gig. It's not for him.

[@ShatoraDragondore]

Story 2: The Military is strict as hell on both sides of a married family, The Serving member and the Civilian, There are whole subsets of Entitled People stories where a Military Spouse is throwing their partners rank around and the blow back winds up with the Spouse being harshly punished. When my Grandfather served his draft (Korea) my Grandmother was drilled and drilled into my Mom and Aunt to always be mindful that their actions reflected back to my Grandfather and could get him punished if they misbehaved.

[@fcold9402]

2. NTA. I am pretty sure cheating is court martial offense as it opens them up to blackmail.

[@usagi18]

"it's just music"? "it happens very often"? WHAT THE ACTUAL F!!! Hope OP's cousin gets his bottom sued.

[@faeriefire78]

Navy story: I've never served, but my stepdad did and was an MP while on shore duty. An additional problem is that cheating causes MEGA drama in base housing. Some of the other commenters in the original post said it better, but in short disciplinary action for immoral conduct isn't new in the military and you know this pretty much from the beginning.

[@dianaphillips8038]

He wasn’t concerned with his girlfriend embarrassing herself, HE was embarrassed she used a special towel.

[@VikingsRazor]

Story 2. Military spouse(20 years) and former USAF, here. There aren't nearly as many people busted for infidelity as there should be. A lot of people cheat and aren't held accountable, as they should be. As long as you get along with your command, higher in the chain or just above you, most turn a blind eye to it. My husband and I never let it go. I feel sorry for the people who dedicate themselves to their military spouse and end up losing everything because the military or spouse can't keep their pants up or use their own hands. We spent years apart over his 20 year career and we didn't resort to cheating. Extra info... a lot of cheaters put a broom, mop, etc on their front porch to signal that they're available. I didn't know that and had the unfortunate luck of someone stopping by to ask me if it was a good time to come in and get busy. As you so eloquently put it, "Those cheaky so and so's". I told him to get lost and never forgot my broom on the porch again. 🙄

[@cjandauntieyaya1446]

Story 2: OP is NTA as the military MUST remain uncorrupted. The two Navy peeps who broke the rules must be punished AND their indescretion reported. The reason being that IF OP kept it a secret, the two peeps were now compromised. ANY enemy force could use their affair as a form of blackmail in order to coerce either or both into doing something that would cause a security leak/damage. This is very serious and I'm surprised they only got demoted and their affair exposed. Something like this could have had serious repercussions including courtmarshall or summary dismissal.

[@cheskydivision]

Cheating is a big no no in the military. Had op not done what they did the guilty party would have just lied to their spouses about their reduced grade and pay.

[@ReyK_47]

I have shiny, healthy curly hair. I've worked hard for over 6 years to get it to this state after having damaged it when I was younger, and part of that process is using specific hair towels and fabrics to keep it from being damaged when drying it. That guy should have asked his girlfriend WHY she had a hair towel if he thought it was so strange, but at the same time, you shouldn't unpack someone else's luggage without their permission just because you think one of their items is unusual.

[@justinjones-smith5168]

Story 2: Well, that was a plot twist.

[@TheNormExperience]

Story 4: NTA, this is so effed up. This is like a bad Lifetime movie where the StepMom actually caused the accident that killed OP’s siblings and mother in order to marry the father, planning to replace the mother completely by getting pregnant, and renaming her own twins after OP’s dead siblings effed up!

[@ChefDuJour78]

Okay, as a chef, I’ve seen my share of bridezillas. I cannot stand them. HOWEVER, this on is NOT a bridezilla. Imagine if you order lobster for your reception meal and I accidentally serve you sloppy joes because I mixed up the menus. That would be 1000% my fault and I would jump through hoops to make it right. The dj and cousin were BOTH unprofessional. If this is mistake that repeats itself often, then the “dj” is too irresponsible to be a dj.

[@patheon9541]

Story 2: those who say YTA might as well say that cheating is ok

[@thedestroyasystem]

honestly lol

[@pippo17173]

Comments that show millatary experience blows those out of the water.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Last story: NTA! Step-mother is a moron, Dad is a tool, OP do what you gotta do to keep your sanity.

[@digitalharmony26]

Have you never met a woman or person with long hair/good hair routine before? A hair towel is literally the most normal thing around.

[@bonnie.f]

As a therapist, I can confirm that always holding your feelings inside is generally A Very Bad Idea.

[@LoveableNiki]

Story 1: YTA. OP should not have gotten involved. Why make an already tense situation worse by calling the bride a bridezilla? The bride and groom were rightfully upset. What did the DJ mean by bringing the incorrect playlist happens all the time??? Does it??? That doesn't sound true. In addition, why doesn't the DJ have the song list on his phone as well as a backup? Then, he could have just manually played the correct songs. Sounds like a terrible DJ.

[@bigsnailart4450]

If a DJ did that at my wedding I would be absolutely furious.

[@ivy4104]

I- what? That person knows NOONE that has a hair towel? Im amazed and bewildered

[@alid8215]

Towel. We curly haired girls say "you touch towel, you lose fingers"

[@fanfiction4thewin149]

The fact the DJ wasn’t even apologetic made it all the worse. I bet if he was they wouldn’t have been as mad

[@Gloria-ro4vn]

Step-Witch insults you and then cry's when you kick her out. LOL

[@paden1865able]

Just finished cleaning up the desk in the bedroom and it's time to relax for a few. I've been looking for some documents for three months now and figured I'd find them in a drawer or buried under an avalanche of socks and rag dolls. Shrugged, straitened out the shoes underneath and thought a binder on a shelf above the shoes looked familiar. Pulled it out, and I'll be damned, it's the one that I store the documents in. So, in order not to lose it again, I put it on the cookbook shelf next to my husband's favorite one. 🤪🤪 I'm so bloody organized. NOT.

[@wheelsndealz]

Story 1. I'm right there with ya Mark. How do you forget the playlist? Like is it just on a flash drive. Why wouldn't it be on his laptop? You could have an external hard drive with pretty much every single song that would be used on a wedding. And a playlist is just saved on the computer. Doesn't take any extra space and you can delete it later or, if ya wanna go above and beyond, burn a CD or extra flash drive with the playlist to give to the couple as a gift or additional service. Having that extra one would have also solved the problem.

[@dandotvid]

Not to mention, if there is access to the internet, you conceivably have access to all the music ever created. This should never be an issue.

[@sam_humanvariant]

As weird as it is, the military takes infidelity very seriously. You absolutely can get demoted or otherwise severely punished for being caught cheating/ abusing/ neglecting your family.

[@videofan1010]

Man - I would have been sooo upset if the DJ brought the wrong music. That is unprofessional.

[@pandemoniumglaciers82]

Oh boy! Sounds good!

[@VidWatcher01]

Story 1: OP is definitely an AH. I use to do crafts & sell them. One of the crafts I made broke so I repaired it using a different glue. It broke again so I gave the refund & told them I would repair the craft again & let them keep it for free. I would NEVER had told my customer that "shit happens, deal with it..." OP was definitely the AH.

[@CooperGal24]

Story Four: NTA The Father was "Too prideful" to go get therapy, he DISTANCED himself from OP to the point that his NEW wife was WAY more important that his ONLY LIVING CHILD LEFT, NEVER said thank you to OP for getting him and his Wife the house and ALLOWED/ENABLED his wife to just be rude and disrespectful to OP, EVEN going as far as to try and "Name" StepMom's unborn children after the siblings... What a couple of asshole jerks! And Father of the Year ALLOWED his wife to make a rude remark by saying "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out!" OP was PERFECTLY in the right to kick her Deadbeat Dad AND StepMom out of the house! 1: OP BOUGHT the house, so it's LEGALLY her's! 2: Dad was treating OP as if she OWED him for EVERYTHING, when he hasn't even DONE anything for and with OP after the loss of OP's Mom and two siblings! 3: He ENABLED his new wife to treat OP with the SAME disrespect and rudeness as he treated his own daughter! Nah, he just wanted a FREE house for himself and his new "Family", while treating OP as if she was a complete stranger, but still wanted HER to take care of him in the later years!

[@kellypatterson8506]

1st story I can see if a couple of songs on the playlist got screwed up but the entire playlist yeah definitely the butthead

[@jstaysclassy]

It's a definite YTA on Story 1 for sure I also agree with the multitude of comments off of Reddit saying that if this is a common occurrence for him to constantly mess up the playlist and brush it off saying "shit happens", he should probably rethink being a DJ

[@CodenameTurtle]

I hadn't heard of a hair towel before. That's not embarrassing, that should be talked about. I'm buying one!

[@kimberlyterasaki4843]

Imagine having your whole job be basically making a Spotify playlist... AND STILL MESSING THAT UP.

[@shebakoby]

BTW story 4 has a new update (2 hrs ago from 11:30 AM Pacific) in its comments section on reddit. OP is kicking dad and stepmom out legally, has a lawyer, and the dad agreed to speak to OP without wife present this (coming) weekend. OP will bring up the ultimatum of therapy if dad is to continue to have a relationship with OP. There will be a proper update at the end of the month when they leave. By the way, the stepmom is 37.

[@carolroberts4614]

Thanks, I'll look out for the further update!

[@whiskeyontherocks]

Towel story: taking out the towel is so mean, just because you don't understand it. Second, if you have curly, frizzy hair the hair towel helps a lot

[@hmixon99]

So first off I am a former Non Commissioned Officer. So is my hubby. I also happen to be a history geek. The cheating people in this story are incredibly lucky that their superior only took rank and pay. I kicked soldiers out of the service for this stuff. That being said, the reason that the Military takes this as seriously as they do comes down to one person. Benedict Arnold. He betrayed all he stood for because he got caught boinking someone besides his wife.

[@mukuroikusaba7998]

Huh. Never knew that. Always heard it was because he thought he wasn’t getting enough respect.

[@iyaayas]

@@mukuroikusaba7998 Maybe that's why he was boinking too.

[@sagesaria]

Story 1: "I don't think it's possible to improvise a playlist to save the wedding" Smart phone. Venue speakers/intercom. Aux cord. KZbin/spotify/other such apps you can play music from. It may not be EXACTLY what the bride and groom wanted but at least it's closer to what they asked for. I was teetering on ESH because the bride maybe shouldn't have yelled, but changed my mind pretty fast, OP and the DJ are both TA. Story 2: I barely know anything about the military but even I don't get the YTA/ESH judgements. If they're working on a navy base or ship, I assume that they are essentially on the clock, and having sex on the clock in work facilities is inappropriate and unethical already WITHOUT including the adultery and military discipline. So adding those factors in, I think the repercussions were deserved. Ordering them to tell their spouses was the right move too; if OP had called them personally I might have felt different. NTA Story 3: Even if the towel wasn't a special material for drying hair, sometimes people just have Designated Items for a specific task. It could be an OCD thing, it could be an autism thing, or it could even just be an "I like to do it this way" thing. Whether it's that, or a special towel that does the job better, it doesn't matter. It's harmless and it's the individual's choice. The absolute worst I can imagine OP's family thinking about the girlfriend's special hair towel is that she wants to use her own linens in the shower because that's more comfortable for her. For whatever reason that may apply. It's not a big deal. YTA

[@ianscruggs4176]

So I’m actually a navy sailor and what those 2 did while underway is a huge offense in the navy they take infidelity among service members very seriously considering the person gave them the order that’s a captain of the ship and did everything by the book I’ve seen people get 2 months half pay and restrictions for far less as well and being knocked down in rank they’re just pissed cause they got caught they need to read up on the ucmj it seems

[@badkitty4922]

Story 3: YTA. I've got wavy hair and regular towels frizz the fu*k out of my hair. I've been using my husband's old, soft, white undershirts as hair towels because the material absorbs the extra water without frizzing my hair, like terry cloth (the material of towels, face cloths, etc are made from).

[@jennaheinz1413]

Story 1: I am so glad that the comments validated my instant opinion. At my own wedding, idk, I may have been a bridezilla up to the wedding. BUT the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner and day of the wedding I really do not think I was. A LOT of things that were important to me went wrong, were left out you know like sentimental, traditional and some were important enough that they cost a good amount (somewhere between $3000 and $5000 of ‘things’ didn’t happen or were mia). Those 2 days, I just rolled with it all given the fact that at that point there was NOTHING that could have been done about any of it, I never even tried to get my money back. BUT, MY MUSIC…. My Dj was awesome and that was one thing, really only 5 (ascending, descending, father daughter dance, mother son dance and 1st dance) songs that could have made me lose it. I would have full on blown a gasket if those 5 songs were missing.

[@Josku2411]

Oop early and i've had a funny picture of an actor on my screen for about 5 minutes and i'm...both amuzed and concerned i can keep looking at it constantlyXD

[@katiesmith2031]

Just roll with it lol

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Lol

[@rachaeledge9719]

Story 3: I’m convinced op has never met another woman

[@jennifersilves4195]

Honor is huge in the military. The percent that are honorable approaches zero. Good job OP. You're doing yeoman's work.

[@bonnie.f]

As someone with naturally curly hair, I audibly gasped when OP took out the towel. I never travel without the t-shirt I use to dry my hair

[@indianspartan76]

Story 4: NTA, no way! Your father has lost himself and ironically has become weak.

[@romonaelrod7870]

I use a microfiber towel on my hair. I would be very annoyed if somebody took anything out of my suitcase if I was traveling away from home.

[@jeaniebee3657]

the military dont mess around with cheating spouses they are lucky they were not dishonorably discharged

[@You_said_what1]

Story 1 Guestzilla

[@nancyjay790]

And a DJ-zilla.

[@kixxenwalla167]

I'm here waiting for the St. Jude Charity livestream to kickoff. Love listening to you!

[@MarkNarrations]

Aww thank you Kixxen 😁

[@hyperplaguerat]

Story 2: in what world is OP the AH for exposing cheaters??? In what world is refusing to cover up or look past an affair an asshole move? Even if OP wasn't military, it wouldn't be an asshole move to expose a couple of cheaters.

[@Witchrebel]

Military story. Marine here. Infidelity. Is. A. Crime. In the military. If you're the kind to cheat on your spouse how are the rest of their peers suppose to trust them to watch their back if they're too busy running around with someone

[@seshthecat]

The DJ was completely unprofessional.

[@FrancisR420]

"Most people only walk down the aisle once" Imma need a citation for that

[@cynicalrabbit915]

Story 4 - Don't let others see you weak OP NTA I love it when someone thinks that seeking help makes you appear weak. Especially when refusing to seek help is what actually makes you a weak person, as it shows you avoid anything that makes you face reality. OPs father is right now obviously being weak by letting this witch control him.

[@frith.calluna]

S4 - NTA First of all: dad's mindset on therapy is toxic as hell. If anything, going to therapy and being vulnerable is the opposite if weak. It often takes a lot of courage to open up about your mental health to others. It's so icky to me that some people still view it this way. I'm not gonna tell someone they're an AH for the name choice, although I do think it's inappropriate. Step-mom sounds like a horrid woman and I don't blame OP for not wanting her around. OP's dad has clearly chosen a side, since he doesn't seem to care that step-witch is shutting OP out. I think I'd be pretty done with dad as well if I were OP. It's OP's house, dad and step-witch just get to deal with the consequences of their actions.

[@jas1007]

Story1: YTA. Its good OP is sticking up for cousin, but cousin had an unprofessional attitude and OP inserted themselves. I have a feeling the cousin isnt a pro DJ but only aspires to be one and was hired only through the connection to OP. Story 2: OP followed all proper procedures while disciplining them, correct? NTA. Story 3: YTA, and the argument is not really about the towel... Story 4: NTA. Ugly situation, but if OP owns the house they are in their rights to evict them after the way they were treated.

[@kmaguire7161]

That DJ had one job. One job!!!

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

2) "We didn't want to get divorced" Then why did you cheat and decide you wouldn't say why without being commanded to? Edit: it's like calling a teacher and making the kid tell them what they did to get into trouble, in his position that's exactly what he did and should do. That last comment was spot on. I'm not even in the Military and I know that. Also have some respect for the uniform guys, they should've been willing to call their spouses immediately for their actions, hell they shouldn't have even done it. We'll never know what kind of marriages they had, but if you have a good one you don't just throw it away like that, if you're lonely write them (your married spouse) a love letter. If it's a bad marriage than get therapy for it with your spouse and work through your problems, if you can't then divorce was something you couldn't fight anyways.

[@didyasaysomethin2me]

Story 2: AFAIK these two technically could have been brought up on charges before a military tribunal over this. So unless the military code of justice has gotten a serious overhaul to remove that from the law, they are probably lucky that all they got was a divorce instead of criminal charges and an other than honorable discharge from the service.

[@elaexplorer]

I'm not sure how I feel about being referred to as a reactor electrical girl (what I did when I was in the Navy). But besides within the Navy, those who work with the reactors are often resented by those who don't. Due to the work being secretive and those in the field having accelerated promotions as well as huge enlistment bonuses. My question is if they weren't Nukes would he have even cared? At the most it would have been a slap on the wrist.

[@thedestroyasystem]

I think it depends on the officer, does it not? Different higher ups will react differently to the same situation. Some might dole out much lesser punishments, but IMO outing cheaters to their spouses is always gonna put you in the right in my book. And regardless, we can only judge on the situation present, not extrapolate about what would’ve happened if the involved parties weren’t working reactor.

[@lILunaticaIl]

mark's flabbergasted "wHAT?" after he reads some bullshit out-loud is always so funny