I Kept An Embarrassing Wedding Photo Of MIL, It's Causing Family Drama AITA Reddit Stories

[@RuminatingRaptor]

S2: if the wife was that sick, where she couldn’t even make their kids a meal, there’s this fancy new thing, where you can order food to be sent to your house. All the effort required is to open the damn door. Those poor children! And her family’s reaction shows exactly why she is like that. Horrible people. NTA

[@salenebrom6476]

EXACTLY

[@YOYOKE64]

Or rather than spend on snacks always have few ready meals available plus bread ,cold meats for sandwich + cereal and milk

[@Lili-ib2rh]

@@YOYOKE64 Or even (and I know it's not great from a health point of view but better than crisps) those dishes that you put in the microwave. 2 to 3 minutes and the majority are big enough to feed 2 people.

[@Lili-ib2rh]

The words of the grandparents make me think that the mother learned her tendencies from them.

[@JennRighter]

Order a damn pizza like what the hell?!

[@ivorypayton]

Story 3: it pissed me off so much when OP said “we lost our apartment to debts…” no, you lost the apartment (your 14 year old son didn’t have anything to do with it), moved in with your new man, and cared fuck all about your son.

[@YuriKaroki19]

look at it this way now Son has a very good reason to cut off his AH Mother also YTA OP get your Brain out of your BoyFriend's ass

[@eliability]

Story 3: YTA lmao imagine denying your kids privacy This is setting your kid up to hate you and the other ones are going to be sneaky.

[@Russman67]

Also I believe the boyfriend's children know that OP and her son are not in a position to argue. The boyfriend definitely has mom under financial control.

[@dodiekoehler5256]

Boyfriend is on a power trip. Little man everywhere else. Needs to flex his muscles at home.

[@francit4856]

I would be relieving the kids from their favorite roys, confiscated for weeks or months every time they trespass in OP'S son's room. They would lose more and more if they kept it up and would be required to earn them back with consistent good behaviour. Also allowances are forfeit and any fun outing that are a part of their routine get cancelled until the costs of those pay for broken items. You keep a chart on the fridge showing what's owed and the progress towards paying those costs off. This technique does have a high sucess rate in behavioural changes and is a great life lesson teaching cause and effect. The only caveat is that both parents need to be 100% on board.

[@elaexplorer]

Story 3: sounds like mom doesn't agree with boyfriend but is scared to be on her own so she's trying to convince son it's the price you have to pay to live rent free. She's definitely the AH.

[@robertx8020]

I would say ESH exept the son The BF clearly sees his own kids as more important The mother has no spine and the son is the victim His kids don't listen

[@Khellyyyyyy]

@@digit5465 I believe thats Story 2 where the OP left the kids with his wife right? Story 3 is where the OP keep siding with his boyfriend and neglecting her sons needs for privacy

[@digit5465]

@@Khellyyyyyy this hasnt been the first time ive mistaken one of the stories. Sorry. And i misread 3 as 2

[@digit5465]

@@robertx8020 yea i agree

[@Mhidraum]

Story 2: What's wrong with her (and her family)? That's clearly neglect. I don't have kids, but I've walked my dog with a thundering migraine several times. When you have chosen to take on responsibility for another living creature, taking care of their needs always comes first.

[@moogie1954]

I have, literally, crawled out of my sick bed, made sandwiches, made carrot sticks, poured glasses of milk, and fed my children while I had a fever, aches, and my head felt like it would explode! Being a mom isn't for the faint of heart! THEN I had to take care of my hubby when he came down with a slight fever while he watched TV and listed to music while I was still recovering! (He got an earful when he recovered and he found out the next time he got sick that he was capable of much more than he though!)

[@2swordsramires843]

Thank you for being a great wife.

[@CocoCece08]

I had a massive back issue one day (day husband was to mow a yard). Guess what? I popped two Tylenol, went into the kitchen and cooked dinner. I hope OP chewed the wife out.

[@RuminatingRaptor]

Ordering pizza is also an option, if she was that sick.

[@Lili-ib2rh]

It's not a contest but my best friend's mother had cancer twice and the first time when my friend was a toddler. The father is not in their lives, the mother's family is toxic and she still managed to take care of her child!

[@Icalasari]

As a note, with colds specifically, men for some reason get fucked up by them worse Not sure what evolutionarily went wrong to cause that quirk, but yeah, it's a thing. If you ever wonder why men seem more whiny when it comes to colds specifically EDIT: Not saying a guy can't do crap when they have a cold, just that they genuinely are a bit more miserable

[@growinghigher420]

Story 2 is definitely NTA the wife literally neglected her kids WTF get those kids away from her

[@somedragonbastard]

Story 2: I don't say this lightly: he needs a divorce. Or, at least, intensive couples counseling and personal therapy for the wife. You don't leave kindergarten aged children unfed. Assuming they can afford it, why the hell didn't she just order food if she was so damn sick? This woman neglected her children and is gaslighting (because yes, that is exactly what they're doing by telling him it's his fault- sincerely, a victim of gaslighting) her husband for calling her out on it

[@zoe9190]

This was my thought as well, why didnt she ask for help, take him up on his offer to come back when she said she was sick, order food on her phone for delivery, call a close relative, she didnt because she doesnt care about them. Leave her, she is not parent material

[@Lili-ib2rh]

Yes, it is. My best friend's mother had cancer twice. The first time, my friend was a toddler. If someone in the middle of chemo can take care of their child (my friend's father is not in their lives and their immediate family is toxic), someone with the flu can too!

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

It's not just about food. She left an autistic 6 y/o and a 4 y/o basically unsupervised for 3 days.

[@ec4145]

I had a 104F fever and body aches last year, couldn't walk without holding the walls, and had nearly nonstop diarrhea--I fed my kids and changed diapers. I had no one to call. One of mine is severely autistic like the story kids, and that story made my blood BOIL.

[@susankaempfer8427]

I’m seriously worried about this family 😳

[@Russman67]

Story 1: Sounds like the dislike is mutual between OP and MIL and displaying the picture in your personal bathroom is a level of petty I can respect. Bravo! NTA!

[@sheilaclemett4353]

I have never been married but if i ever had an MIL like that I would put that photo in a more public place. Just what did that MIL from Hell think wasn't "feminine enough?" She would have gotten an earful from me over that long before this.

[@eliability]

Story 2: Yikes NTA. Sure she’s sick but she has to put in an effort to feed the kids or at least have called someone to help. This is downright neglect and that’s not okay. To make it worse she *rejected his offer to come home.* His in laws are absolutely horrible and you can see where her neglectful habits are coming from. They enable her. I’m so mad in a way I can’t describe. The audacity of this woman to not feed her kids, especially with one that’s special needs, makes me so so so angry. Small edit: I didnt even notice how old they were. They are barely kindergarten age. They could’ve gotten seriously hurt but yeah blame OP This sounds horrible and I don’t want to jump to the “leave her” thing but If she seriously cant see what she did wrong she’s more than likely gonna do it again Is that really the person you want raising your kids?

[@Carla_Valjeta]

When I was sick, I took care of my younger siblings, I cooked for them and walked them to school (it was a 15 minute walk both ways), I also picked them up after school. So I can say that the wife is a lazy little shit who is hiding behind "I am sick"

[@darkshadow5581]

It's worse too because I've got a question, why wasn't the GF hungry? Odds are she fed HERSELF, while watching her kids starve. That's sociopathic.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

@@darkshadow5581 Yes and no, anytime I've been sick I cannot eat anything. I might go and look at food and then immediately turn away and go back to bed. Worse when pregnant, the same cousin got me sick both pregnancies by not telling anyone she was sick until it was too late and both times I couldn't even handle water so I just lived there throwing up all day. Now luckily the first time the only person I had to care for was myself because my husband is very capable (I still feel awful for not being able to make him lunch or dinner), The second time luckily my husband was home because we got sick during Christmas break and he was able to care for our daughter who was also sick because I could not move, had my husband had to work I would have asked my mom to come help because I could not do anything without throwing up, however I still would have tried to take care of her regardless if I had no help. I am glad my husband took care of her when I got sick this last time pregnant though, because anytime my daughter has watched me instantly get sick she starts crying and freaking out like something's wrong, so I'm glad she didn't have to watch me be like that. We're kind of done with that family though, so hopefully no more walking in the door and hearing either then or when leaving "oh yeah we're sick", including at our wedding getting over having the chicken pox and not saying anything until two more babies (less than a year) were sitting right next to them, I didn't even find out until we left for our honeymoon weekend.

[@GabrielleHayes1921]

I really hope he has a lot of this in writing including from his wife, because he may need to get a lawyer for custody, I wouldn't trust her or her family with visitation unless it's supervised by more than just OP. I think he needs to set up a camera that the wife doesn't know about, because I'm wondering if this isn't just an excuse because she got caught.

[@darkshadow5581]

@@GabrielleHayes1921 I get that, and I agree to a certain extent. When Swine flu (H1N1) went around, I had a similar situation where I couldn't eat for a day and a half, and throwing up, and I get how during that you don't really feel the hunger pangs, but I think after 3 days of no eating after being accustomed to an average diet, even assuming she wasn't throwing up, I think she would have started feeling the hunger pangs start. TLDR: it's just a question of time, I think after 3 days even those heavily sick would start feeling it, but I can see others arguing they wouldn't/havent.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 3 I feel like he will go no contact the instant he can get an apartment. Then Op will act like she's in the right and how she did nothing wrong. At least he's getting his stuff replaced.

[@Mandage90]

I bet the ‘missing missing’ reason will come up not too long after he goes NC too

[@LaineyBug2020]

Story 2: OP needs to cunsult a family lawyer to see how to get this documented in case he decides to leave her she can't firght for custody out of spite!

[@carolroberts4614]

Hes the stay at home parent, so perhaps things would go better for him?

[@turtleduck2085]

Based on what OP said at 9:17, it seems as if they are not her biological children. If that is the case than I do not think she can legally claim custody of them unless she has formally adopted them.

[@pippo17173]

@@turtleduck2085 sounds like the wife is showing major regret and her side of the family is supporting that decision.

[@elaexplorer]

Story 2: I have an autistic child and have been sick before, I've always made sure they were fed regardless of how I feel. NTA

[@eliability]

Story 1 I think NTA. It’s not like OP is going out of her way to embarrass her, it’s a private picture that almost no one would see. MIL wasn’t very nice and it does make sense for OP to not like her. MIL has the right to feel upset but OP isn’t trying to hurt her or anything, especially since it’s private

[@idkman290]

doesnt matter you don't keep pictures youll know the person it in it definelty not like.Just imagine yourself in that situation.That is an asshole move

[@megaman37456]

@@idkman290 I mean if the MIL is the typical entitled narcissist, then yeah sure it's petty, but not undeserved. Again it's in a private bathroom, so no harm done? I honestly feel no sympathy for the MIL, she acted like a child, she got treated like a child.

[@SassyGirl822006]

@@idkman290 the MIL sounds like a petty witch herself. She had planned to do her best to upstage the Op on her wedding day, and make the day about herself instead of her son and the OP.

[@badkitty4922]

Story 1 so far MIL got turned into Cruella DeVille, LMAO!!🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😜😜👋👋👋👋

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

*ALL STORIES* STORY 1: *NTA* MIL has a lot of insecurities she needs therapy for…..or she’s just a major narcissist that is beyond help.. OP has the patience of a saint to put up with her MIL…. I would’ve stopped communicating with her years ago. STORY 2: *NTA* Even as a sick parent you should make sure your kids are still fed, let them survive or nothing but snacks and let’s be real kids don’t know how to limit themselves. So who knows how many they ate until they ran out before Dad came home. considering it was 2 kids they probably ran out pretty quickly. Even if you’re sick you should still have enough energy to get up, pop open a can of soup/spaghettiOs, put in the microwave, and feed your boys She had the option to agree her husband’s offer for him to come home so he can help but she turned them down. Also the sister calling OP abusive husband, girl STFU. “A few days without set meals is hardly neglect“ tell that to a CPS agent…. STORY 3: *YTA* Again another story where a spineless parent lets their new lover make decisions over a child that’s not theirs! The boyfriend seems like a pretty dumb ass parent thinking him telling his kids what to do is enough to get them to behave and respect OP’s son’s belongings. Especially since it seems these kids found a “loophole“ were all they have to do is just bring something bag after they take it without asking. If boyfriend is not going to get his kids to stop with this behavior then OP should 100% be OK with her son having a lock on his door to protect his belongings. STORY 4: *NTA* If the roommate wants to sleep properly there’s these magical devices called noise canceling earphones/earbuds. She can’t expect her housemates, that can’t afford to buy meals at University, to basically go to bed hungry because she needs sleep. She lives with 4 other people she realistically can’t expect them to all revolve their schedule around her needs. OP was very mature suggesting a house meeting while she was yelling, calling names, and avoiding eye contact while sulking like a brat. Like seriously you can’t expect all of your housemates to starve for three months because you need sleep. The only way I see to remedy this is that roommate gives everyone food allowances so they can afford meals at University. THEN The kitchen can be closed at 6:30 PM since all of the housemates already had dinner…..she’s not going to do that….

[@carolroberts4614]

In story 2, why is the sister being all holier-than-thou when she was just down the road.Why didn't she know her sister was sick, and if she did know, then why didn't she step in?

[@rylashadow18]

That last one needs to have the RA there for that meeting and state that they brought them in just in case she pulls this crap. Say that they asked that it be discussed calmly, rationally and responsibly like you all should. Put down noise canceling head phones, music that she can relax/ fall asleep to, white noise machines and anything else. Remind her that everyone there has different schedules and see if a 10 pm cut off from the kitchen is acceptable by the entire household. Then let the RA know that this wasn't the first problem they had with her but are hoping to make it the last. Document that they set this forth with the RA present then just document if she continues to act like a spoiled brat. Give that log over to the RA as well as making sure a copy of those log is seen by a dean/ personal who handle housing. If OP doesn't get this whiny brat next year they need to know what to be on the look out for.

[@MsUnamusedNerd]

@@carolroberts4614 Honestly because it’s easier to be a hypocrite rather than practice what you preach. People suck

[@wmdkitty]

"A few days without SET meals" = " a few days without menu planning", not "let the kids starve." Clearly nobody actually paid attention, the kids were fine, OP was exaggerating.

[@carolroberts4614]

No they weren't fine! They were both incredibly hungry, and had been wandering round unsupervised for 3 days living on crisps, cereal bars and gummies( don't know what they are). The six year old is nonverbal autistic and the little one only four! Anything could have happened!

[@ScooterBond1970]

"A few days without set meals is hardly neglect" News flash: YES IT IS

[@eliability]

Story 4: NTA I think. OP’s roommate sounds like a nightmare lol

[@lancerevell5979]

If she wants to have her way, dictate house rules, she needs to get her own place alone. Otherwise, STFU and learn to compromise. Five adults in one home is going to cause some chafing.

[@Donald43]

Story 3: if the son buys things with his own money, he ought to get that lock for himself since his mother and the boyfriend won't listen. I'll also bet a fair amount of money that if the situation was reversed, the boyfriend would punish him relentlessly for going into the step brothers' room and taking their stuff and breaking it.

[@GaiaTheNatureWitch]

Story one. NTA the mother in law sounds unbearable

[@micahpatchen1538]

Story 3: did anyone else notice OP says "step bro" but the OP and BF aren't married. How are they "step" anything? oh and OP is TA! she's not even picking "step" kids over OPs son, she's picking random neighborhood kids.

[@KE-hr4sb]

Story 2: Holy hell I haven't even finished and I'm so mad I'm shaking. NTA! Sick or not, your wife has to get her butt out of bed and feed your kids! They are literally unable to fend for themselves. Mommies don't get sick days off! If she was physically unable, she should have insisted you come home when you offered, or called for help from a relative. I can't even... "A few days without set meals is hardly neglect"? NO. All three of my kids are autistic. The older two (boys) were both nonverbal until they were four. The oldest eats everything in sight, but the now middle child would often refuse food. (Turns out he has texture sensitivity, GERD, and Celiac.) My mother told me he was "power-tripping and being stubborn" and to not let him "win;" "show him who was boss." 🙄 She said all kids did this, and to not let him eat anything else until he ate what I'd served, that he'd eventually get hungry enough. He did not. Instead, his skin turned a sickly yellow, he dropped an alarming amount of weight, and he started sleeping constantly. I said eff this and gave him food, anything so long as he was eating. Granted, my situation was a little bit different because of my son's medical conditions and how his body digested food, but it is NOT safe to let children that young go without real food for extended periods of time as their tiny bodies burn it so quickly; this is also why newborns have to eat so often. Please, don't make the same mistake I did. Yes, a lot of the time, the kid will give in rather than starve/make himself sick, but is that a risk worth taking? Story 3: "Locks bring troubles to his house"? Is it his house, though, or is it (all of) your home, (and that includes your son's)? Secondly, does he believe spoons make people fat too? Gimme a break. Thirdly, since he can't/won't control his kids, your son NEEDS a lock. Otherwise, son is going to move the minute he turns eighteen and never speak to you again, because you failed to protect him and would rather keep your bf happy, at his expense. YTA.

[@carolroberts4614]

If you're the responsible parent you have your flu in the kitchen!

[@CensorshipVictim]

Story 2: is criminal! I've been sick to the point of double pneumonia and running a 104.5 degree fever and still managed to take care of my kids as best I could and called in family when I had to go to the hospital and was put on a ventilator for three MONTHS. Was OP's wife near Death or just a narcissist? NTA Story 3: is a perfect blueprint of how to get disowned by your kids.

[@mac533]

Re: story 2, the fact that the wife's mother thinks this is okay might mean today the wife was raised like that as well, so might not realize how messed up it is. NOT an excuse to be clear, just something to think about.

[@minagica]

I love how the mom not standing up for her son is getting dragged PRECISELY. Beautiful!

[@bonniehuh]

Story 3 - I'm the youngest of eight kids. I got a lock for my bedroom when I was 12. The rules were simple-- mom and dad had a key. If mom or dad knocked, I opened immediately. The lock saved my pretty crummy relationship with my siblings.

[@BIGEAGLEDUDE]

With the third story this is one of those situations where she doesn't want to lose the financial stability in her life and she doesn't want to lose this great guy but she needs to realize that her child comes first. The fact that her boyfriend or fiance won't even let his soon-to-be stepson get a lock for his own personal materials even in his own room it shows me right there that the dude never saw him as his own to begin with. The mother I get it she doesn't want to lose her child but she also doesn't want to lose the financial stability and the good guy that she finally met her mind and start over from scratch. She's in the wrong here family therapy is necessary here but she needs to basically move out and focus on her and her child to say the least otherwise she will end up being alone with no man and no child the moment that child turns 18.

[@Ambidexter143]

BF says that "lock cause trouble". Does that trouble including having his stepson's stuff taken and broken? YTA OP for not standing up for your son.

[@SorenPenrose]

Story 3: boyfriend hates the kid, Mom refuses to defend the kid. He needs to move out, they're bad parents.

[@JennRighter]

Story 2: I had my tonsils and adenoids out when I was 29 years old. It was horrific and a very bad recovery. I didn’t and don’t have kids. But I had a dog, and I walked and fed my dog through the horrifying pain and medication. You can’t FEED your children?! You couldn’t make a cold cut sandwich or order an effing pizza? What in the hell is this story.

[@madcatlady]

that mother should have asked for help, my cousins were too sick too cook whole family with chickenpox as adults with babies so we and the rest of the extended family brought them cooked meals each day for a week. My Mum having gotten Chickenpox herself as an adult knew how bad it can be.

[@catpatrick3838]

4th story, the other three roommates need to get that girl some gifts...ear plugs, white noise machine, noise cancelling headphones. If her room is closest to the kitchen, someone can switch rooms with her (major headache but it might be worth it to make the gesture). Problem solved.

[@lily-zg6io]

I mean if she wants the kitchen unused after 6pm, then the roommates are entitled to ask that the kitchen be unused until 6am. Jokes aside, one of my SO's flatmates needs to be up at 5am for work and uni, and the rule is that everyone has to be quieter by 11pm, and no party of thehouse is condemned for that time, just the basics of don't have a shower with the showerhead on full blast at 2am and don't make a gallon of popcorn at midnight

[@thebirdchannelforfans623]

I’m wondering, since this roommate has been a problem before with being controlling and such, why she isn’t being kicked out? Seriously, if you can’t use earplugs you should be evicted

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

Nope, not a gift. She can buy them herself. It's not the roommates job to buy stuff you need for a 3 months period.

[@rosystrawberry]

Ooo. Story 2, I am the only caregiver in my house but even when I am sick I at least able to clean something and I always have something frozen(nothing too much. Most of it is stuff like pot pies, hot pockets, or stuff I made) for my grandfather or mother to heat up on days like that. The one that left the kids like that, wow. They need to plan on days like that. Really, that could have got dangerous fast. Get someone to help, make meals for them to heat up later, do something.

[@HonorWillow]

Story 2: the wife needs reported! The worst part is that she had SO many options: OP comes home, family member or friend comes to help and it could be alternated, babysitter, food delivery!.... She CHOOSE to neglect (yes NEGLECT) the children. Yes the type of food they ate was ridiculous bad but the amount is the scariest. Any fuel is better than none or too little. Those poor kids. If not feeding children isn't neglect then what the fuck is?! It's not the only form but it is literally textbook neglect

[@karab7626]

The kids one: I nearly ended up in the hospital I was so sick at one point, and my daughter never went hungry while I was sick. I microwaved her soup or some freezer meal. When someone who is dependent on needs a necessity you do what you have to, to meet that need. The last story: My sister lives with us and works crazy hours. Our bedroom is next to the kitchen the door opens up to it. We have to leave it open for the cat or he cries all night. Sometimes sis gets in after 10pm and needs to eat while husband gets up at 4:30am and needs sleep. Guess what? Sis does her best to be quiet while getting food and husband uses white noise not to be bothered by her. Mature adults who are sharing a home figure it out. That girl is not mature and should live by herself if she needs that much quiet to sleep. Tho not in an apartment. Just imagine that complaint to the leasing office. 🙄

[@meghansherman6880]

Omg, the wife let her kids go hungry because she was sick?!!! She declined OP coming home also. She is not ok. She must see a therapist to determine if she is a safety concern. 😢

[@aindrilaroy4464]

Repairing a necklace with a complex weave. Mark’s voice is keeping me company.

[@kyraevermoon5544]

Oh my god, story 2. I'd say that's grounds for immediate divorce. And wtf is with her family?! That's horrifying that any of them think it's ok!

[@RomeGod177]

1st story: Does anyone else wants to see OP MIL wedding picture or just me 🤣🤣.

[@MarionHogan-m5i]

Me too!

[@Woodie-xq1ew]

story 4: I would say "sure I won't use the kitchen after 7pm so you can sleep as long as you don't use it before 9am so you don't wake me up" and then wait for the fireworks. she is completely unreasonable

[@DameNickum]

Wedding Photo, looking at a bad/hilarious photo of hateful mother in law is a fairly low key way to deal with boundary stomping and nasty behavior. You are my hero, petty confetti flying! Tiny ah, but your MIL is a massive AH. Lol

[@jeancarbonneau6966]

In story 2, OP isn't the asshole here. I'm diabetic insulin dependent. If my blood sugar levels are so low that I go into a coma, yes, I won't be able to do anything. Many days I don't feel well enough to do anything for myself. If I had a child in my care, I would make sure that he/she eats properly while I'm not feeling well. I would also make sure that the child is not alone either, especially if I'm taking a nap. I may be socially depressed but I know that my children would come first before me any day or night. A parent who decides to not care about their children even during the time they have a cold or flu aren't really going to care about them in the long run. I would consider why this person is becoming so uncaring for his/her children whenever they become sick. Especially if it's only something like a flu or cold. OP isn't the asshole here.

[@wmdkitty]

Uhhh.... maybe she was just that sick, and OP lied to make himself look better with "she refused my offer to come home".

[@datmanydocris]

Story 4: Let me get this straight, OP's roommate straight up demands that everyone else in the apartment alter their life specifically to cater to her regardless of how much that inconveniences the rest of the roommates and regardless of how unreasonable it is... _and then calls OP selfish_ when she refuses to cater to her roommate at her own expense? Holy mother of narcissism.

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

Story 2: NTA! I felt a punch to the gut when I heard the eldest is nonverbal autistic - which is my eldest! What the heck lady? Good lord, I'd be recovering from gastro or some other thing and I would still make sure that the kids had something to eat and changed the nappies or whatever was needed. I do the bare minimum with whatever I am able, I do let the closest person know what's happening just to keep a heads up if I need help or groceries if something is missing, otherwise, the kids get the telly for pretty much all day.

[@mothertrucker936]

Hungry kids sick mom: NTA there seems to have been no excuse since you offered to return and with family all around. She’s an AH, a massive AH. She’s also sick in the head along with her entire family. There’s something behind this neglect with the entire family against you. Not a good idea to leave her alone with the kids. Tell her to get a job so you can get a REAL sitter. Sounds like she wants to be a sahm without the responsibility.

[@maddy8328]

Story 3, YTA. He has a human right to privacy. YTA YTA YTA

[@2swordsramires843]

Not the a$$. Give the boy a footlocker for his things .. however door is not required...

[@2swordsramires843]

Human right to privacy.. LMAO ..

[@CocoCece08]

Story 1 - NTA. Oh, this is hilarious! Story 2 - NTA. A real mother takes care of the kids EVEN WHILE SICK. My MIL had the flu and a migraine, and she still fed her son (my husband) and daughter (SIL). Washed clothes, cleaned the house, and even cooked dinner. Chew her out, OP. Chew. Her. Out. Story 3 - YTA. Oh, OP only cares about her bed buddy and not her kid. You would think she actually had found a job and paid for her own place. No, too hard. Story 4 - NTA. Uh, roommate has heard of a white noise machine? Ear plugs? Maybe a new apartment? Time for her to bounce, and OP (and the other roommates who agree) should boot her to the streets.

[@cynicalminion]

story 1: definitely NTA... although in response to the "bamf" commenter... i 100% agree w/your assessment of the situation, what baffles me is how that reasoning supports an ESH judgement? the picture's not in a public place, and compared to some of the reddit stories i've heard, the MIL is about as toxic as sandpaper... annoyingly abrasive, but not actually harmful, or even that difficult to handle correctly... the part where her husband has a picture of her covered in ink and flipping off the camera in his office says all anyone needs to know... it sounds like if it wasn't that picture, MIL would've found something else to be butthurt and sulky about.

[@SheenaReine]

I can’t with the mom not feeding her kids. I have chronic illness. If you woke up and were in the shape im in, you’d be bedridden and told to take it easy. Some days I can barely walk. But I still cook for the family. My husband works, I can’t, we have 2 kids. I’d feed my kids before I even considered feeding myself. Like, I even make my youngest w sensory issues side meals if he won’t have what we are. Regardless of how bad my flare up may be that day. I’m sick listening to this.

[@lancerevell5979]

Story three... Everyone here is an AH, except OP's son. Mother won't stand up for him, BF won't let him safeguard his property, BF's kids for stealing and destroying his stuff. Where is his bio-dad in all this? Why can't he go stay with bio-dad? When he turns 18 and gets a good job, he is outta there, and won't look back.

[@TarisLuna]

Story 2 NTA I'm a mother of an almost 3 year old, heavily pregnant and can't do much because of some pregnancy problems (nothing dangerous, just really exhausting and rather painful at times). My whole energy goes into making sure my kid is getting everything needed. Everything else can get neglected (my hubby does most of the household chores at the moment) but not mx childs needs.

[@sammyk.6457]

I’d call cps on my own wife if I was the husband in story 2

[@SkyhawkJD]

MARK!!!!!!!!!!!! *big hugs*

[@clairebear-96]

The story with the sick mum, NTA at all!! That’s absolutely neglect and it’s so horrifying, I feel so awful for those poor kids!!

[@SuperBatSpider]

Story 1:Let me guess. MIL wore her wedding dress. NTA.

[@Mimiroo]

Story 4: wow your roommate sounds like an unreasonable nightmare. I currently live with my partner and 3 roommates, my partner starts work at 6am and my schedule can start anywhere from 4:30am to 6pm (and start times change daily). Everyone in the house has a different work schedule and some of the roomies have weekdays off so they game and watch movies late if it’s their Friday. Never have we made stipulation about quiet hours and only ever said anything if someone got a bit too loud. The only time I’ve ever asked for quiet in the house is if I’ve come home at 8-9am from an occasional night shoot.

[@searchfield]

My dad likes to tell this cute story about how we had the flu and he was too sick to get out of bed and I went down and made us both cheese sandwiches at age 2... I've just realised that this was not okay and we didn't have a single friend or relative in the whole country that we could call 😩 I've realised a lot of things in my childhood were not okay from listening to Reddit stories! I am also neuro-divergant.

[@prittyflutterbystar]

Story 3: I just don't understand why the son can't get a lock? What's the reasoning? Can't they get a lock that takes a key and the Mom and stepfather get a copy of the key? Then the adults still have complete access at anytime. The Mom and stepfather are definitely both assholes.

[@thedestroyasystem]

The reason is that giving someone a lock cedes control. Boyfriend wants to keep both OP and her son under kid control and maintain his authority.

[@Uneclipsed]

Story 3 is such an easy solution. If the parents are worried about the son keeping inappropriate things in his room, just let him have a lock on the door with the condition that the parents have a copy of the key. That gives them some security if it's truly needed and the son gets to protect his things from the kiddos when he's not home.

[@nikkaztia2113]

The boyfriend who will not allow locks is just wrong. What is he scared of if there is a lock. I suggest a locked cabinet for the sons things. It won't be the door. The mom is also a complete ah. Ok it is tough out there but she needs to do what she needs to do to get out of that house to a place where the son can actually call home. I am sure that son does not see this current place as a home.

[@momotaro1236]

Story 1: NTA actions have consequences, cheating has the consequence of you getting ink thrown on you.

[@turtleduck2085]

"A few days without set meals is hardly neglect." It kind of is. She had the option of calling on several people for help and she did not. And her family siding with her? What a family.

[@eliability]

Happy to be here early! Just woke up from a nap and am now drawing, happy to hear Mark talking again ☺️

[@joreyn7656]

As a parent, I can say that parents do not get the luxury of sick days. You have to take care of your kids needs first regardless of what's going on with you. The times when I have been really really sick, my husband had to stay home from work to take care of our son while I was resting. A four year old and six year old are not capable of fending for themselves.

[@Mewse1203]

Why does the roommate get to make unilateral rules for everyone? Also, what's there to be grateful for? The controlling behavior? The freak outs over unreasonable behavior.

[@juliebiggerbear7300]

Story one: At least the FIL has a sense of humor about their little inkathon, as does OP’s husband, or I imagine hubby would have taken the picture of his ink speckled parents down? Story 2: 3 days… For children that young, 3 days is just about forever, and it’s no wonder they were both clinging to their dad like that! That she and her family were perfectly ok with this neglect is abhorrent. I understand that wife was sick, but you at least get up enough to take care of the essentials for your kids, or call for help. You do not let your kids forage like wild animals for three days. Story 3: That poor kid… There’s no reason why he shouldn’t have a lock for his bedroom door, unless bf thinks there should be no privacy since it’s his house. Which is a horrible thing to have to live through. Mom needs to step up and defend her son or she may well find herself without one. Story 4: Didn’t your roommate let everyone know that she is the sun, and you must all orbit around as she dictates? /s It’s 3 months, she does not get to declare martial law on the kitchen. If anything, there are lots of great ways to cancel noise, ie sound machines, earplugs, non noisy cooking?

[@ciomaria6137]

Roommate wants kitchen off limits after 6pm story - NTA. I wake up between 4-5 am most mornings, and hubby is more of a night owl. I have found that after work and taking care of the kids, by the time my head hits the pillow, I am so tired that in the first few hours of sleep, I sleep so heavy that when he is making himself a snack or doing other stuff, I just roll over and fall right back asleep. Not 100% sure, but I think this is the same roommate that kept throwing away other people’s (and especially OP’s) food when she does her weekly cleaning out of the fridge, claiming it was “weeks old and disgusting”. I have a feeling that her wanting the kitchen off limits after 6pm is so she has time to do a “final cleaning” for the night and leave it in a state she’s happy with before going to bed and wanting to know that it’s not going to be touched after she’s done with it. This is all about control of the space, not quiet.

[@badkitty4922]

WOOHOO! Within a MINUTE of posting!! Yayyy!😘😘💖💖👋👋👋

[@TheFoodGuideOfL]

Story 4: NTA. Jfc, that roommate sounds ridiculously self centered. I get up at the ungodly hour of 4am, but I sure wouldn't ask people to cease all activity by 6:30pm. That's ridiculous. Especially given the other roomie's schedules. I just expect people to do their best to be quiet once I go to bed at 8-9 ish

[@fcold9402]

2. NTA. Adults get up and make food when sick or adults call for help or order a freaking pizza. What did she eat the entire time? Did she just lay there not eating or drinking for 3 days?

[@dodgyyoutuber9560]

When I was a teen, to keep people out of my room I’d scream that I was naked and they had to knock.

[@hinakiba777]

Story 4 reminds me of a roommate I had. No using the kitchen after 8pm, but all dishes needed to be cleaned when she woke up at 6am. University quiet hours were 10pm-10am, but she rewrote them to be 8pm-6am. Except if she wanted to watch TV, then she could be as loud as she wanted until her show was done. It was only 4 months but it was hell

[@KLT-id9nm]

Story 2: Yeah, the implication is they were eating what little was left of gummies and snack bars over three days. The adverage box of granola or snack bars only have six bars in each so assuming they only had two or three boxes tops, the kids had maybe six to nine bars each over three days as their best "meal". Assuming children that young wouldn't just binge eat it all the first day and end up starving the rest which seems more likely. This was unacceptable, and honestly the fact her entire family is making excuses is a continental sized red flag. One of these children can't even verbalize his discomfort to get help really. F'ed up. I'd dig out every wrapper of what they ate and take a photo. Show exactly how little they had in three days. That's important evidence if this ends up in court.

[@ergotempusvernum]

2: INFO. How sick was she actually? I have been so sick that picking up a phone and talking and moving made me throw up and pass out. If she was that sick then she would have lacked the energy to breath, let alone call someone to help out.

[@paulqueripel3493]

If she's that sick she shouldn't be in charge of two children.

[@jeandobkowski8571]

I was sick, my daughter was 3. I had a fever, felt horrible but ,made her breakfast and then laid on couch. She woke me saying she was hungry. You just ate. No, Mommy. that was long time ago. I had slept the sleep of the dead for 4 hours! That was scary enough but when I went to make soup and grilled cheese .....the cupboard was bare..a 3 ft cabinet mostly full of cans was bare...not a single can! I moved them Mom. Not onLy had she climbed on bottom cabinet(BIG NO NO)but moved every can to bottom cabinet. I never laid down again if I felt bAd!...SCARED ME TO DEATH THAT I HEARD NOTHING!!!!!

[@Regrettable-Username]

Story 3: As a younger sibling who used to take stuff from my big sister's room, just let that kid have a lock on his door. The boyfriend is on a power trip and the son is going to leave as soon as possible. At least that's what I would do. Story 4: He was super respectful about it and she threw a fit about it.

[@hello93617]

I know it's a small bone to pick, but the whole "blame the woman for cheating because sexism" line from OP is some bullshit. When women cheat, there is ALWAYS something the guy is doing to "neglect" her or is "abusive". When the guy cheats, no one starts rattling off things that the woman could have done better.

[@sianchild]

Story 2 - I was all ready for a post from a guy who was in the house and thought that the wife should do the cooking still, but this is definitely a NTA. That's straight out neglect from the mother.

[@alyzu4755]

I have 2 Autistic kids, one of whom is non-verbal and not toilet trained. When they were very young, my husband was often away for work. I took care of them while I had the flu, a cold, stomach flu, etc. It's what we do as parents.

[@terrybeasley5931]

I was a single mom when my child was 8yo. I got really sick for about 3 days, and this was my schedule: feed kid, sleep, check on kid, sleep, feed kid, sleep, check on kid,sleep etc. No excuses. Nta

[@Icalasari]

Story 1 - bamf1701 "ESH" ... "Be honest why you have it" No no no, being honest about that IS the asshole thing because it drives a huge wedge. You only tell somebody you hate them if you want to burn the bridges completely because _it is a very asshole thing to tell somebody you hate them_

[@JasperCatProductions]

Ok, when my 3 boys were very young, my boys and I got SICK. I had to crawl to restroom, fever couldn’t sleep or keep anything down. My boys got food drink and clean clothes. Moms unless literally dead will get their kids food. I am sorry but this is neglecting them, imagine how scared those boys were? My one son has autism ( less severe) but he would have been beyond distraught if he couldn’t eat.

[@candiebarr6745]

As a parent, it doesn't matter how sick you are, you make sure they get food. Even if it's something simple like soup or cereal. Even when my mom was going through chemo, she made sure I got fed. Even if it was just reminding me to get something to eat on her bad days. And I was 10-12 at that time. I was old enough to know how to make and cook simple stuff on my own. On her "good" days (she still looked pretty sick), she would teach me how to cook Even though the smells often made her feel worse

[@sorinsilverheart3200]

Story 3: That poor boy will drop you like a bag of bricks if you keep denying him like this. YTA.

[@OZARKMOON1960]

#3 - OP is the biggest AH. These children are destroying things her son bought with his own money? Hell to the no on that shit. She just doesn't want to jeopardize her golden ticket to free rent and will never defend her son to BF or his kids as that would cause problems. The BF is also TA for not making sure OP's son feels safe - he is just what the BF puts up with to have his GF live in. The whole group sucks except for OP's son!

[@kathleenmcfarlane2555]

Story 2: As a single mother who has violent food poisoning on a few occasions, I still fed and cared for my daughter from toddler age to 21. She's at college now. When she is sick I Amazon a vaporizer. Cold and flu meds, whatever she needs.

[@missesLMA]

I think a lot of people are missing in story 2 that either the wife adopted the kids or is their step mum. The OP worded it weird in his edit but she’s not genetically related to them (we don’t know if OP is)

[@indianspartan76]

Story 2: OP NTA. Your wife is an abusive gaslighter. Run for the hills! 🏃🏻‍♂️ Edit: getting her sister to come over and call you abusive, was an extra shitty move. Leave that toxic family behind and save your kiddos Edit 2: Mark your being too soft on the wife here. You'd have called her abusive if she was the husband and OP the wife.

[@Uneclipsed]

Also last story: So she doesn't want anyone using the kitchen from 6:30pm-5am?! That's nearly 11 hours!! Not using it after 9 or 10pm is perfectly reasonable. I grew up in a family where dinner wasn't even ready until 8pm because of working hours and commutes. Roommate sounds like someone who is better off living alone and has to suck it up until she can afford to do so. Get ear plugs or a white noise machine. Something.

[@JootjeJ]

Last story: OP's housemate must be a sloth or a panda or something if she needs that much sleep! I need to wake up at 5am these days and I'm lucky if I even manage to start cooking for my family before 6pm. Flatmate needs to grow up and learn to make do with 8 hours of sleep. That way everyone gets to eat dinner before having to accommodate her by being quiet in their own home

[@liznegrete5076]

Story 2: is so frustrating! They are kids like if she didn’t want to get help from her family she could have at least ordered delivery!! That is so awful poor kids. That’s borderline neglect

[@kixi8033]

2. NTA. My husband and I both had covid for an entire month and could barely function due to muscle aches, fevers, extreme nausea, and the like. HOWEVER. We always made sure our 2 year old was as cared for as we could, unfortunately we didn't have the luxury of calling on family for help. Also, it sounds like she had plenty of people around her to come help. If she was bed-ridden, she should have called someone. I'm sorry but you don't get to neglect your parental duties just because you're sick. When you have kids, you either deal with it or call for help. 4. NTA. Asking for the kitchen to be off-limits after 6 pm is extremely unreasonable, and I say this as someone who has issues falling asleep and is prone to waking up to noises. What that girl needs to do is get a industrial fan for white noise, you can't hear shit outside your room with one on, and ask for her roommates to be as quiet as possible while cooking. If she was the only one paying rent, it would be a 'her house her rules' situation. But, because everyone is contributing to rent, she needs to learn that she can't impose rules without first discussing it with everyone and that she needs to compromise if everyone is not on board with what she wants.

[@renee0_0]

In Switzerland it's normal to have quiet hours from 10pm to I think 7am. They also don't tolerate noise on Sundays and many don't tolerate noise around lunch. I rented from a woman that was insane. She was known around town for being evil and just not in touch with the real world. I couldn't make noise or even use the washing machine after 8 or on Saturday or Sundays. I worked 10 hour days as a rough carpenter so I really needed to wash my stuff frequently. She also didn't want me taking baths because "we were low on water" even when we weren't. The door to the cellar storage stuck and it was difficult to stop it from slamming, I forgot to be careful one Sunday and she screamed from upstairs. I lived in the cellar which was meant I woke up with damp sheets and lived with spiders. The kitchen fridge barely worked and it was just awful living there. I had to leave the window cracked when I went to work otherwise it would be wet in there but she bitched about that too. And this woman liked me. She cried when I moved out...imagine how she is when she doesn't like you.

[@dianaphillips8038]

Ask your MIL if she likes you? If she says “ no” than ask her “what difference does it make if you like her?”

[@briant7134]

Story 1: Sure the OP may be spinning the situation to make MIL seem more insufferable than she is, but even if that’s so this is a harmless little bit of pettiness that she uses to as an outlet to keep civil with MIL. NTA. Story 2: Holy crap feed your kids, and if you’re too sick to do it (which can happen!), move heaven and earth to get someone to help. Or you know, take your stay at home husband’s offer to either cancel or shorten his trip so he can help. Story 3: Stand up for your kid when he’s being bullied by BF’s kids and/or BF himself. Because that’s what it is; bullying. Story 4: if roomie continues to be unreasonable, I’m sure she can find alternate housing that would cater to her needs better. OP is NTA for cooking dinner at a reasonable hour, and has been exceedingly polite in the face of unrelenting unreasonableness.

[@heatherdickau5335]

Story 2 - you are never too sick to take care of your children. Especially at this age. You suck it up and feed them. If you are lucky to have family near by you call for help.

[@momotaro1236]

Story 2: NTA if you’re so sick that you can’t even get up to boil some pasta or make a grilled cheese then you need to call somebody to help. Where was the sister when your kids were starving? This wasn’t a lack of set meals it was a lack of food, That’s child neglect. Edit: was she not eating for three days or was she making herself meals and not feeding them

[@songohan3321]

Locks can solve so many problems. But why specifically 18? If the kid is 16, what's going to happen between 16 and 18? What troubles is it going to bring? He can't just drop that statement without context. I know what teenagers can do but OP'S BF said that in an unusual manner.

[@cynicalminion]

story 4: let's make it even. nobody can use the kitchen after 6:30 pm, but nobody can use the kitchen before 9am, either... that should be long enough for everybody in the house to get a full night's sleep, right? *sigh* what WOULD be reasonable here would be that everybody in the house (assuming you're all on mostly similar schedules) commits to "be done with the kitchen within an hour of getting home". it's been a while, but i remember sitting through evening lectures, and making myself dinner was priority #1 when i got home. if a roommate thinks buying food at university is a workable option, SHE can pay for it...

[@SS-te4hs]

Have you taken your wife to the er? When I was too sick to get out of bed or even barely keep my eyes open for a few minutes (no young children), it turned out that I had double pneumonia and low oxygen. I physically couldn’t have fed kids or even thought to make phone calls. My husband, bless his heart, is not a good nurse. He would bring me meds but lay them down. I would just go back to sleep without taking them. It was worse than Covid for me.

[@str4yk1dsw0rldd0minati0n]

Story 3: OP is the asshole my family would invade my room including my nan, I’ve had a bunch of expensive stuff destroyed but I wanted them on display in my room. I asked for a lock, my dad and pop agreed but my nan was pissed and said no so me and my dad just went and did it behind her back, my poppy knew and didn’t mind as he agreed I should have it and I hope the son goes behind their backs and put a lock on anyway, if he is gonna only lock it when he says he would then they’ll only find out he did when they ignore what he asked them to do

[@runawayfromtoads674]

Damn OP in the last story was pretty mature. If I were in his shoes, I would be set off the moment she starts mumbling about how selfish we all were. Like the blatant hypocrisy right there-- and I'd bang pots and pans to cook just to set her off.