I Don't Trust Him, Should We Break Up?

►► Confused about what to text him? Just copy and paste any of these 9 texts from dating expert Matthew Hussey --- bit.ly/1EpQNbm
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***
You’ve turned into a jealous person.
You’ve started wondering about texts on his phone. More than one time he’s given you reason to doubt whether he’s telling the truth and now you’re always questioning him and playing detective.
But…you also love him and you’re great together.
Should you break up just to be safe? In this week’s episode of LOVELife we tackle the ultimate dilemma: Can you stay in a relationship where there isn’t 100% trust, or should you stay and give him the benefit of the doubt?
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[@pinkunicornglitter]

Trust is the key to a happy relationship.My general relationship rule is: if they make you sad more times than they make you happy - then leave.

[@creating1_c1999]

+pinkunicornglitter very succinct...sadly, many stay for fleshy reasons, constantly barking about the same thing

[@pinkunicornglitter]

+SParkApCider Thanks. You're right, the problem is emotions are often more powerful than logic or reason.

[@paulieo6447]

Thank you!!!🕊️

[@giovanamartinez7681]

Totally agree...and don't stay for so long letting him breaks your heart over and over again. Love you first and think how valuable and worthy you are.

[@kamerah729]

I’m ready to leave soon because I’m more happy away from him then with him

[@katielouisse]

Looking for reasons to leave is a reason to leave

[@ivablasy9048]

Kate Louisse so true.

[@ThePau90]

Actually no. Sometimes it's a part of growing up, doubt about everything.

[@Theterry383]

I'd rather figure out how to make things work

[@Mary-vg2vw]

Kate Louisee OR...Forget all the reason why it wont work and believe the one reason why it will❤

[@saya6101]

You make me cry in this new year night.

[@nourdoghuz6407]

"don't rely on him to be the grown up, be the grown up for both of you" golden words.

[@daliwood12]

It is good advice, however, I wish men were given this same advice... the onus ALWAYS seems to fall on the woman. *sigh*

[@amaristhecrow7084]

Uh....why would anyone want to date a child?

[@veronicav1779]

excellent question @@amaristhecrow7084

[@lynseymartini7715]

I love this .. I just broke up with my boyfriend for this reason .. I told him I don’t want to be that girl that has to check on you all the time because that isn’t who I am or my ideal relationship and I can’t trust him at all .. so that’s a deal breaker for me

[@lucyclark3920]

Dr Steve can actually help you attract someone you really love the most and want in your life. He once helped me and can help you too. Believe me I'm not bragging or trying to make unnecessary comment here, this was what really happened to me. he helped me attract (Jeremy) the guy I love and wanted in my life the most 💞💞☺️☺️💞💞

[@lucyclark3920]

Whatsapp him

[@sandramichaelson1272]

@@lucyclark3920 .+2347030894892🙏🏾 🙏🏾

[@Surfer_Jay]

IF.. he hasn't given you evidence of why you should be constantly checking up on him, then it's your insecurities that are manifesting your trust issues!!!

[@windysmith7367]

Agree. Mine gave me reasons.

[@catherinefleming-robertson3538]

I spent 8.5yrs with a lair, I could not sleep for years the day he walked out the door I slept like a baby and I still am 6 months later :) xxx

[@tonywalker1954]

Catherine Fleming-Robertson. I'm happy for you. That's says alot about who he was as a person. My best friend is going through the same thing right now but it's only been a year but he's lying and hurting her almost every week and he comes running to me and my friend for help and we help but we aren't helping him anymore and we both think she should end it

[@sushmitakhole5198]

May god keep you happy always and hopefully you get a great man in future!!!

[@teresa-greeneyes3886]

It’s the same for me. I cannot sleep

[@JosieSanelly]

My favorite moment in the Sex and the City show was, when Samatha didn't trust her boyfriend Richard, after he cheated on him once. She got crazy and wasn't herself, and when she had enough she only said "I love you. But I love myself more." I think this is a very important message for everyone, who has long issues in ther relathionships - that we deserve the best.

[@missdoommm]

Petra Gabriella Gazsó think you I forgot about that episode and I plan on rewatching it later.

[@krystalricciardi7776]

I love that too. The same thing in the movie when the blonde one I forgot his name was too busy for her she broke up with him so she could be herself again. That helped me with relationships. I Check in with myself and gauge if I’m genuinely happy or not. If not 👋🏼 see ya later bye

[@silviacortes1433]

Man... I'm about to break up with my boyfriend, the sad part is that I really like this guy... I never felt anything like this for anyone else but he won't admit to his mistakes. He has given me reasons not to trust him, but I always make excuses for his behavior and that is just making it everything worse for me. And is just like you said I don't feel good with the person that I am becoming, is not right and its not me. Thank you so much, is a hard thing to do but I'm going to do it anyway.

[@Angelickumi]

updateee

[@o0Avalon0o]

Thank you for posting this. It's great to not feel alone.

[@Eviekaii]

How is it goin with u now

[@jessicalewis7987]

Litterally the EXACT thing I'm dealing with and going to do 😅 I have been losing sleep and slowly going crazy for much too long. ❤

[@hannahlunsford1429]

Going through this now. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to do it nicely. I feel crazy and I’ve never had this trust issue before. He has lied and I found out about it later. Hiding his phone changing passwords. I just can’t be with someone like that.

[@ashleygraham6742]

This made my heart ache bc I know it's something I need to do. Sucks so much how you can't convince someone to be honest with you, when they don't want to be.

[@d4ngly]

I'm sorry.

[@isabella-jt8vy]

🥺

[@michellemylie-guerriero3428]

I feel the same way. It’s frustrating because we have no control over how someone else acts.

[@lesliesantos8595]

Or when they lie about a version of a story so much that it’s like well wtf is true then?

[@mnoah999]

How you feeling now?

[@trfrierson]

So spot on. I was in a relationship with a guy that when I was at his home I found a receipt for something a women bought him. i checked his phone to find out he was talking to other women. this bothered me so because I hadnt been a priority. he used his job alot to make excuses for not seeing me often. when i saw those text i knew i coudnt do it anymore. he didnt value me anyway. please love yourself and see the signs. your gut is the best guide.

[@MOOMOO2728]

Heart Break Hotel Inc the damn phone!!Omg it can be dangerous

[@blipon_youtube916]

Heart Break Hotel Inc my gut has been ignored that idk if it even works anymore or if its just me

[@stephanieperez5845]

Never trust a guy who texts other women! End game right there. He's not willing to commit run away from this guy. I guarantee there's a lot of women he's talking to casually to fluff his ego and have as a back up. I have been there my ex was a narcissist! He'd text other women I wasn't proud to follow my instincts to follow him in text. It changed me I was never the type to distrust. Until him. Never be second to anyone, I gave him this same speech he gave in this video. I gave him his space only to have him betray that trust, always trust your gut ladies and gents

[@lauraschmid8614]

What if they're just friends ?

[@windysmith7367]

I agree Stephanie. Narcs can’t be trusted and we end up learning the hard way. They are master manipulators and tell you what you want to hear.

[@creating1_c1999]

I wish women would stop silencing their intuition. It's ugly. Women need to pick up a history book about the traditional etiquette of women and how they acquiesce in a relationship. You will never get what you want by tolerating insolent behavior. Still amazed at the contrast of this caller, hanging on to a lying douche (why?) while the previous caller was too quick to ditch a decent guy in search of one with 'spark'. Be self-reflective. Decide what is important. No one wants a lying douche bag, so why tolerate it? He did not start being a douche recently. He's been a liar for a while. He's pushed the limits because he knows you tolerate it. He has to do the work to build the trust back by not doing the behavior that he agreed to not do. Why do people argue over the bs they've already stated annoys them? Do you really need someone to advise you on your level of self-respect, your worth? Tell people what you require, show them, then tell them what you told them and show them...then exit if you do not get the response you desire. Stop holding on to an asshole waiting for him to change.

[@shoanaqvi1695]

Preach mama 🙏💗💗

[@elainezel24]

hey, I hope you are still active and can read this. do you have an email? I need advice but don't want to put it out here 😅 .. my Facebook is the same name if that helps

[@gena9006]

SParkApCider VERY true! i think women WANT to believe what they're feeling is wrong because its not the outcome they/we want.

[@LF-mt1ze]

Bravo!!

[@KimKim-wu6xj]

SParkApCider you are so right

[@alaskalove8332]

with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat, I thank you Matthew, from the bottom of my heart. these are the words I need to create my own statement. After 7 years of lies and relapse, I can't take it anymore! "I know I can't trust the way I want to in this realtionship. let's not torture each other anymore. I don't want to torture you because you feel like you're married to a detective and I don't want to continue being tortured because you give me reasons not to trust you." I think I'm going to need a counselor or other paid mediator involved because we still need to work together for the sake of our child, but I cannot let our child be damaged by his father's addiction

[@alondraacosta-mora6504]

Time to let go and move on

[@SMJSelena]

Wish I had this advice two years ago, because I totally went insane in my poisonous relationship and now I'm scared of trusting guys in general. Been single for a year now, but every time I start to like someone, I pull back because I don't want to get hurt so much again..

[@PamelasLas]

Same!

[@SMJSelena]

PamelasLas I'm so sorry to hear that. Best of luck to you girl!

[@PamelasLas]

+SMJSelena thanks dear! Good luck to you too!

[@diana.niklassik]

+SMJSelena Same here.

[@onionnine]

This happened to me too, last year. Don't let fear keep you from searching for what you want in life. Get out there and meet men in spite of the fear. Trust yourself first, then more trustworthy men will show up. If you meet a man that is even the slightest bit untrustworthy, wish him well and move on. Listen to your heart. Keep your boundaries firm. Don't jump into a relationship with the first man that comes along. Take your time, allow yourself to heal, and better men will show up. Always put yourself first!

[@lisalee2885]

All I have to say is ---People who have nothing to hide, don't hide anything. Seriously I got nothing to hide. Take my cell anytime. I want the same mentality from my partner 😁😁😁

[@swisschocolate2350]

Waw finally someone who thinks the same like me, you kniw hiw many times l repeat the same sentance to my partner and how many times l tell anytime you wanna cgeck my phone go ahead cuz l dont want and will bever cheat on you cuz its not hard but its a choice l made up until now, l say up until now...l see no reason honestly to be honest all l got back are lies. Am just wondering why.

[@tori7022]

Same here for sure. I also do not understand the appeal of doing things on the side. I have never felt like talking to other men or looking at them. It is very hard to understand why my partner would. But perhaps even more important is lying and hiding it. Why be with me if I'm not what you want and we don't have trust?

[@windysmith7367]

@@tori7022 I hear you. Some need so much validation in addition to their primary relationship and they think this is okay. It doesn’t even have to be sexual but they keep it hidden. It’s disrespectful, immature, and self centered.

[@seanmurray4323]

sadly in this world u cant trust anyone 100%

[@kittypaw3479]

so true. You just can’t. Unless you are dumb enough to

[@jilljilly65]

So so true

[@JustineCarissa]

"Asking the same question whether you're right for each other. It's typically not a good sign. If it's the right person you'll know. There's a different sense of certainty."

[@littleripper312]

The thing we forget when in relationships is that the other person is meant to improve your life. You have to learn to compromise so that it's mutually beneficial but the most important thing to think about when deciding whether or not to be in a relationship is if your life is improved by this person being in it. That's not just for dating but friends, jobs, family members and you don't have to permanently remove them for you life just temporarily while they are having a negative effect on you. It's not your responsibility to harm yourself while making others happy.

[@arckocsog253]

It's not your faul that you don't trust him. It's his responsibility to make you trust him.

[@JadeyFadeyMCR]

+Arc Kocsog Ok granted I sort of missed why she didn't trust him, but in my opinion it's not just his responsibility. Both people are in a relationship, both have responsibility. Even about trust issues. Before I got with my boyfriend, I slept with a friend of his, but I didn't know they were friends at the time. When he expressed his worries about it happening again I did my part and assured him that I wouldn't if I were in a relationship and that if given the chance I would prove it to him. That was my part, my responsibility, but after that it was all up to him. So I believe it's a two way street...

[@Leen95M]

+JadeyFadeyMCR i totally agree with you. one hand doesn't clap.

[@TheXV22]

haha, this is amazing

[@_LilacRoses]

Arc Kocsog thank you. Currently in this situation even after 4 years.

[@95yazan]

typical femenists, women are never responsible for anything jsut men have to do all the work

[@ChevyChk65]

I really needed this today. I’m in the same situation. I spoke to him like an adult, said we needed some space because I don’t like the woman I’m becoming. I don’t want to be a spy and worry about him all of the time. He said he doesn’t want to risk losing me forever and suggested couples counseling to get to the bottom of our issues.

[@raen3049]

I'm happy you found healthy resolution.

[@laurielaforet1423]

Matthew is saying that to be able to be your best self in a relationship you have to be with a partner who doesn't do things that make you feel that you are not able to be the best you you can be. Instead you begin to become someone who you don't want to be as a result of responding to what they are doing. In this case this woman was not being her truest most loving self in her relationship because she was with a guy who was showing reasons why he could not be 100% trustworthy. I'm not sure if that helps. Maybe it's as clear as mud. Matthew says it so much better.

[@apranabanana8738]

Agreed 💯

[@jadephlangea1243]

Girl stand up for yourself. He cheated (or tried to cheat) on you and somehow he make you believe that it's your fault . Been there my ex didn't make time for me, makes no plans etc and I started to feel jelous. And somehow I fantasized of looking messages on his phone. But I didn't look his phone ever. When we fought he always thinks I am just loser jealous girl. I deserve to be with a man who is my teammate and creates time and space for me I don't deserve a wishy washy beta guy.

[@Alex-gu2ws]

Agree, she needs to increase her self-confidence and find a guy who respects her

[@wearesatellites91]

Damn! Matthew, you always take a situation that seems so complicated and break it down so simply. I'm always blown away by your eloquence and clarity, everything seems to make so much more sense after hearing your advice!

[@alondraacosta-mora6504]

Literal

[@megan6127]

5 years wasted. I wish I had made this decision lie one.

[@MpenziPenzi]

Megan 😰😰😰

[@jocelynrazon1248]

I promise to never let a man make me feel like trash. My next relationship will be based on trust. I will never ignore red flags ever again.

[@beckyrouse6115]

No one really deserves to be cheated upon and I believe smartness is important in any relationship, my worst experience was discovering my cheating Narcissist husband through the help of an hacker who helped cloned his cell and i got access to all his Text messages, Whats-app, Facebook, Messenger, Kik, Snap-chat, Instagram, Skype, Twitter, Email and Social media chat, i was able to read both his new and deleted messages without touching his mobile . I was hurt when i read conversation of my husband always sex chatting with an other lady , i felt so broken, I’m here in California , USA and was able to access his phone while he was away cheating in UK and saw all the proofs i needed for a divorce and even terrible things they had planned. He also does hacking of account or any other type of hacking and retrieval of data. His services are trusted and guaranteed and also affordable contact him on his mobile phone, text,whats-app [phone]. I hope you find peace just like me after I found out about his doings

[@noodlbear]

Can you please do a video on how to deal with an immature boyfriend who can’t quite seem to deal with issues and just runs off instead of fixing the issue/problem

[@blacklovelyangel]

YES! please!

[@alessandracarrillo700]

Is that immaturity or more like some type of trauma? I wonder...

[@Leen95M]

"don't rely on him to be the grown up.." this resonates deeply with me. unfortunately.

[@Cymricus]

This was my relationship exactly. I broke up last week and have not felt this good in a long time.

[@ohhello20s19]

How does Matt come up with such good advice on the spot? He's so good at asking questions to figure out what's actually going on even when the caller doesn't fully understand what she's going through. He makes sense of it all and then finds answers!!

[@SkyeBuller]

I think trust is very important in a relationship. Especially since they've been together for 3 years! They shouldn't have trust problems.

[@syafiatulkhusnah2903]

Never trust someone people only hurt you

[@SR77736]

syafiatul khusnah u habe to be willing ro trust if it is earned. Not trusting is how u run off good people. My ex said that ans ended messing things up with us. His loss bc he didn't want to trust. Then he complains he can't find love. Trust when it is deserved.

[@holywear26]

I’m at the point now after being cheated on and lied to that the constant battle in my mind making me so unhappy. I want my relationship to work and I see him trying but I think my light is dying because I just don’t have any trust in him.. everyday I’m just waiting for the ball to drop like I feel I’ll find out something new that will hurt me every single day..

[@seasayaa]

I just did this. I let my bf go because I felt I couldn't trust him. I knew it would be toxic to myself and him. And for that I set him free. It's in God's hands if we're meant to reconcile and rebuild a stronger trustworthy foundation.

[@brookeb7646]

my bf keeps adding random women on his facebook. i told him i am leaving him and i am done!

[@sweety4271984]

Did you leave him?

[@d4ngly]

Uhg mine did that too! But as soon when i got back home after spending 3 months with him in the US he was done with and told me he had deleted his fb.. For some reason i think he has some other platform now that i don't know of yet..

[@Desertvibes234]

ME TOO

[@stanyyeh]

How come I just discovered your video, Matthew!? I just finished a relationship that contains distrust. The breakup took me a great effort to move on because I just couldn't figure out what really went wrong. Our situation was similar to the lady in the video. I was thrilled when you mentioned "evidence". I just realized the "evidence" no needs to be a direct evidence that caught him having someting with other females, but the evidence that he can't show the respect to the relationship by keeping a boundary with other females. He kept saying "If you love me, you got to trust me 100%." or "I am doing nothing wrong. We are just friends. Why you just can't trust me?" I was like...yeah, he is probably right, and I am wrong since I don't find any evidence anyway. I blamed on myself being so skeptical and eventually hated myself looking like crazy, needy and clingy. I am glad that it's all over now. I used to hate him after the breakup, but now I choose to forgive him and let go. It's a lesson in life, I can't be more clear than ever about knowing what kind of man I should look for in the future. Thanks for making this video.

[@sherriflemming3218]

Trust is the foundation of a safe healthy relationship.

[@sunnyspot44]

Clearly and perfectly stated. Matthew you're awesome!

[@SunriseWaterLily]

I was in this exact situation recently.. The whole phase of finding out what we feel and what we need and want to change, took about 6 months. In the last weeks of it we talked, took a few days apart, came back and talked again. We took our time to articulate best possible how we really feel right at that time and what we need to see change. In the end the only hopeful sign was that he could see his behaviour through my eyes and didn't like some of it at all. After that I nagociated my terms clearly with him and we're testing it again. It might be anything but easy. We need to give each other space to try new patterns of behaviour and chances for making mistakes. At the same time observing carefully inside and outside, if there's is any real improvement.. Through this process I came across Matthew's channel and it helped me immensely. Thank you so much for that!!

[@toscadonna]

I just blocked a guy on Sunday because he was always talking about getting married, but he failed several times to keep his word to visit me, and he's asked me for money and about my finances. I went to the hospital for spinal injections, he called and I told him about it, and the next day he didn't remember I'd been to the hospital. Just too many inconsistencies destroyed any of the initial trust I had in him.

[@MOOMOO2728]

tosca donna Girl, in ur face disrespect abd red flags. Kick him to he curb. I can't believe how straight bluntly rude people can do...

[@zin82e98]

Red flags all over You can do better

[@alicegoldenvalley]

The problem is that the guy I was with when I said : it's okay we can go our separate ways, tell me now. He said: give me another chance I can be that guy, and then lied again and again. No more for me. I don't want him anymore. But I think that I'm not at the same stage as the girl calling. But it's nice to hear a similar situation still. I did everything I could. But I'm not going to allow so much misery in my life just to be with someone who is not trustworthy.

[@tali8371]

You're seriously an absolute prodigy in authentic communication for relationships

[@stephaniemichelle9878]

Selfish men who want you no matter what won't be strong enough to be an adult in that conversation. They just lie and pretend they're in it even they're not... So... I love you Matt, but selfish people are selfish. Liars will lie.

[@anewloveofficial9137]

If you can't trust that person there is no reason for you to hold on to your relationship because it will only create conflict for both of you. You should weigh properly if your trust issues are enough risking your love for someone.

[@kellyannespirithealing42]

I went thru this very thing. It is terribly difficult.

[@andreadavis8675]

I totally relate to this girl. NEVER in my life did I feel the need to go thru someone's phone until my current partner was showing every red flag out there that something was not right. It SUCKS the feeling it gives when u go thru their phone instead of just saying look I'm moving on, this isn't what I'm looking for in a relationship

[@aileenmahayhay1485]

it really hurts when i found out about the lies.. i felt so betrayed. i kept asking myself if everything that he said is true at all..

[@windysmith7367]

I didn’t trust mine because of his lies and then he secretly hid from me he was talking to an old ex girlfriend. He lied to me about what this was all about. Honesty is a core value for me. I left him.

[@alia724]

You have literally the best relationship advice I have ever seen

[@aishwaryasharma2448]

This is exactly wat happened to me n i broke up with my bf 3 days ago! untill i saw this video i thought i was wrong n just being paranoid but i understood that he wasn't making it easy for me to trust him . Matthew ! im so thankful for u n all the information u share .

[@julianabakhtiar7050]

U get back already?

[@show_me_your_kitties]

I had to watch this three times and write down exactly what he said so I know what to say later. I just don't see me ever relaxing and trusting this man. I changed my ways for him, I've never been dishonest. I caught him talking to someone two years ago and I just can't get it out of our relationship. Now I'm less attracted to him and have resentment. And he's absolutely gorgeous physically. I just don't think I want to continue. He knows I'm Unhappy, he tries to make me happy (now) but I just can't get past that he's fake.

[@show_me_your_kitties]

Anyway the point of that comment was I want to leave. It sucks. It's going to suck. I am 41 and thankfully still young looking and energetic, I don't want to waste time with him and that sounds horrible but he did this to us. I would understand if he cheated when I was being cold or not sleeping with him or not trying....but the relationship was new and vital. I don't want to try and figure him out anymore.

[@bobbobbo5278]

This sounds so exhausting, I hope you are doing good now.

[@TheSerdel1]

Matthew, you give people so much , because your advice is universal, for many women who struggle with jealousy and uncertainty. We all loose ourselved from time to time, and what is worse, we explain our behaviour , and we blame our partners for being sneeky and checking the phone etc. But the truth lies in our complexes and lack of trust, which sometimes has nothing to do with the current partner.... Please keep doing what your doing.

[@hueee_eee]

Its been 2 months since i found out my partner has been talking to a girl he told me it's just a friend. Since then it left a scar in my heart whenever. Indeed my partner did change but I'm still scared that it might happen again.. praying and watching Matthew's video helps me a lot to overcome my fear step by step. Thank you so much Matthew ❤

[@chichau8786]

This video was extremely enlightening for me. As the woman, I was the one my boyfriend lost trust in. In my situation, I had to cut out a male friend I have had previous attractions for, which then, was really hard for me to do so. My boyfriend struggled with how often my old friend tried to stay in my life, and that was the "evidence" that drove him to end the relationship. This conversation opened an empathetic perspective for me, and helped me come to a understanding of why he needed to end the relationship. It still hurts, and I wish he could see past what I've moved beyond, but in the end, he needs to be his better self. Thank you Matthew.

[@jackjack-xi7je]

How can you not see your partner was uncomfortable with this? You were still hanging on to a guy you openly admitted to having attractions for lol. No wonder your man went! Any argument or bad time with him, the chance of you running off to plan b for comfort was very high.

[@sabinouchou8293]

Thats what I needed... Im leaving my bf

[@quemoyo5536]

TRUST IS THE FOUNDATION OF A RELATIONSHIP

[@PrismCavernsTarot]

I cried watching this thank you it's exactly what I needed to hear..

[@ZeeniPat]

this is exactly what i needed, i became the grown up matthew, thank you for that. im so glad for this video , made things in my head n heart so clear. helped me get out of my relationship which was in an exact position like this. CANT THANK YOU ENOUGH MATT, FOR EVERYTHING YOUVE HELPED ME THROUGH TILL NOW.

[@kimberlybrownfield6418]

WOW. He looks like a combination of Ryan Gosling, Patrick Dempsey, and Liam Neeson.

[@veronicav1779]

If you dont want to be objectified then don't objectify another

[@kharizta]

I feel like finally i know that i was loved, and i think that i won't be alone anymore. But, idk why he always dissapointing me, i tried to understand but it was too much. I feel like i was happier when i was alone

[@itsabby317]

I am in this exact situation with my husband,and i cant bring back my trust on him specially that he won’t even apologize on what he did

[@pika9603]

Thank you Matthew. I just did what you said and we broke up. He agreed for us to go separate ways instead of trying to get me thru this and be the person who I can trust completely. It's really sad but I think it's for the best of us.. I hope he can find his true soulmate and be happy..

[@1kmilez]

i wondered if your ex bf is from egypt

[@vgogosheva]

Matthew, I ❤️ you Why I didn’t find this video earlier , I lost 2 years of my life spending time with someone who’s cheating on me , often, and yes at the beginning I was also a detective, later - I didn’t wanted to know what is he doing, ...but deeply in the heart you already know what’s happen, so this is not healthy... in the end I am coming to the same thoughts , but after so much pain 😔 Thank you Matthew

[@jplatter6629]

The problem with most relationships is, you have broken people trusting their own judgment. How can you make the right decision when you can’t make good decisions?

[@AllThatKazz]

Besides your very good/great advice. Very logical and dare I say it, probably the key or code to a perfect relationship (given the right person and circumstances) you are so caring and very sweet to all your callers. It is really lovely (I feel the vibe of an awesome Mum or sister in your younger years).

[@elizabethfitzgibbons2672]

It's important to be ur self around that person u love and that person except who u are and there may be arguments disagreements once in a while but as long as ur happy and in love that's what matters

[@JohnDoe-uh5ij]

Great video! Great advice!Don't trust him? Find someone you can. There are around 3,000,000,000 men. Got to break up with that man. He talked to a girl.

[@sun_rose123]

I come here to hear Matthew's voice and advice, it relaxes me. Thank you Matthew ❤️

[@theresasmith9545]

Ive never came across better content that not only helps woman in dating world, but teaches us to grow into the best version of ourselves and gives us the knowledge and tools to maintain our value

[@daliwood12]

Some of Matthew's BEST work. Loved this.

[@ayawawa6002]

honestly if I trust someone I really trust but if he is batrey me no chance to say sorry cause I hate people who is take advantage and used my trust... it's ok if I broken heart, I can heal with time. I hate cheat

[@Rithoseoka8079]

you are such a nice and smart person in relationship issues may God bless u matthew

[@gloriaprice8179]

23 years wasted....but if your spouse cannot provide you the safety all human beings need in a relationship through intimacy, vulnerabilty, responsibility for your actions, and trust, you are in the wrong place.

[@Juicybeachgirls]

If he’s untrustworthy, why would he admit that? Common Mathew!

[@lalina1304]

Matthew you know your stuff

[@jaymiezeppa9814]

Had this problem the first year of my relationship. .I was very jealous and paranoid that I wasn't going to be able to keep him ..I would snoop through his social media and his phone ...I found things that killed my trust ...but we got through it and we've been together for 5 years now...I stopped snooping through his things after that first year because he gave me reasons to trust him again..but now he invades my privacy on a daily. ..If you feel like you have to snoop on your significant other you should just end it ...most likely they're being flirty with strangers because they don't want the relationship they have anymore. ..

[@NikkoYM]

This past week was the last straw for me. Maybe a small, seemingly innocuous lie. Nothing that I can readily prove, but just an absurd and unbelievable assertion. Amongst other things which rouse my suspicions. I do not want to be the person I am and have become in this relationship. It's not good for me or my mental and physical health.

[@KimKim-wu6xj]

Damn. This just opened my eyes. Like a lot. I never subscribed so fast in my life

[@lovemecom3832]

Wow! It was such an awe-inspiring advice from Matthew to a woman who asked for an advice about trust issues. I hope she can get some insight of what Matthew told her.

[@AllThatKazz]

Complete sense. There are loads of things I need in a relationship, loads of likes and boundaries. The number one thing for me is that I trust the person, then I hope he is funny, intelligent, caring, polite, respectful of our relationship and fun. But trust is number one. And being the detective is really deflating and really sad.

[@danjobry333]

Wow! This video and the comments really hit home with me. Overwhelming to think about a 35 year marriage ending!! 😢

[@suzannemaroney4579]

They lie, and then blame me for my insecurities…😖

[@aariusvangg9175]

I’m so sad I’m currently sitting in my car and I just want to leave him I just can’t find the strength I’m mad because I was never this person who highly obsessed over others or allow toxic shit to come in my life the way my life use to be so easier to walk away from things, I’m 18 and he is 29 I know that’s a big age gap but tbh that’s not even the problem.. the problem is exactly like this men just suck and lie and want new shinier people once they’ve deemed all our shine. It’s sucks bc I’ve truly never felt this way about any man at all, and also as someone who has BPD it makes it even harder because I constantly have this thing in my head that tells me all the worse things that can happen my life as well as one of my biggest fears is being cheated on by the one person that is suppose to unwillingly stay loyal to you. It’s just hard but I’m typing this here bc I wanna be ready I wanna feel ready but I just don’t I guess I’m afraid to let go of the attachment I have to him but I genuinely believe it’s time to love myself more and stop letting my happiness depend on men.

[@samanetavasoli2975]

So, we've been dating like 2 months now. It's more of a long distance but we've been on dates and hang out alot enough to find out I can't 100% trust this guy! Today we were out and I was deeply thinking of breaking up with him! But I was too afraid if it was the right call. Mattew, this video helped me a lot. I'm gonna talk to him this afternoon before he's leaving the city and make everything clear and bright. Thank you thank you thank youuuuuuuu

[@melissalivier2138]

i don't usually comment on anything here on youtube but i have to say this is exactly what i needed to hear right now since i'm going through something very similar and i didn't know what to do anymore thank you Matt i wanted you to know how much your videos have helped me xx

[@Jakilyn]

Dealing with this now. He's given me several reasons to distrust him. And continues with the confusing behavior (his female friends) obviously, I know he is not the man I should be with. Only option is to end it

[@nanaayesha406]

Thank you soo much,I guess this is the push I needed,writing this with tears in my eyes

[@jelena7476]

I just love this video and it is so relevant right now. Thank you Matthew! Your deconstructed it so well and your suggestions for a conversation are brilliant. Why people waste each other's time when they want different things in life?

[@Kristine14]

But what if lines of communication appear to be silent. Should you take a chance on being the adult in this situation by still being interested in. communicating certain thoughts with this person that has apparently decided to become a ghost? People shouldn't treat people that way. They should end it properly not with silence. It is really hurtful to the person on the receiving end. And can make you feel like an idiot.

[@jillb7948]

wow this was so relatable to a situation I'm in. Great advice, really made me think. have always been a fan of these videos, but this one takes the cake!

[@ThePossumone]

Trust can be rebuilt & you can recover Give it time

[@lindseyhebert5568]

If he keeps going silent on me I feel like he don’t call me enough I cry everyday he says he will call me back he doesn’t I’m crying

[@Alphacentauri819]

Lindsey Hebert look up The Personal Development School, Thais Gibson , life changing about healing yourself and being connected to yourself, attract the right kind of people in your life.

[@Ricarica981]

I love him, but I don't trust him. I need him but I don't need liars

[@helenbell883]

What if there was an emotional betrayal, but he is genuinely sorry. I have laid out the behaviour I expect to trust him and he has agreed to do this. Before I had complete faith, he was the one for me. I completely trusted him. He knows what he did, may lead to him, losing me. I believe he loves me, but my faith in him has been really shaken. We have so much going for us, but he did a really stupid thing. Also, we are in a long distance relationship. The plan has always been, for us to be together full time, when circumstances allow. What advice would anyone give us, to repair the damage. We both really want it to work.

[@marilyngarcesbasantes1048]

THANK YOU MATTEW. I NEEDED THIS ADVISE SO MUCH TO MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE

[@paravisapra7671]

Hi matt, what happens if there’s been a trust issue where my partner has done something to hurt me, and i’ve chosen to work past it. i still don’t see how i should work on this issue since it fuels my insecurities in the relationship and although i would normally discuss this with them, due to the trust issues, i don’t feel like and because of that there’s a constant cycle created. how do i break that?

[@celestinepauline]

i feel this same way right now 3 yrs after u commented this and it made me feel not alone

[@713janel]

Wow, Matt. You are absolutely amazing. I've been up all night watching more than a few or your videos and this one really hit home for me. I am currently going through something similar in my relationship and now I finally know how to approach it, which I didn't know 8:51 minutes ago. Thank you so much! I'm looking forward to more videos! 😊

[@mohamediisomba6258]

Well, I think once you find yourself in a distrusteeship mode to me there is no more reasons to find the best solution if I should break up or not, itself the distrusteeship it's enough to breakup maybe the girl you are having is not loyal or the guy maybe then there is no need to reach its privacy maybe going thru his/her phone. Trust me you are looking for more reasons to hurt yourself, if you believe he is not loyal and you have evidence, stop pretend for not being the real you leaving the pace of not trusting growing wide just leave.

[@alondraacosta-mora6504]

In my relationship there is evidence😅, but I love him, it is hard to leave. But he has changed according to what I see, but in the past he lied to me a lot so now sometimes i cant trust. We are literally in a torture relationship right now, I am a detective and he gets mad, and then he tortures me by getting angry. So definitely it is not healthy at all.

[@MaybejustNarbe]

It’s the shift from compromise to compatibility

[@lll3388]

Why do all men feel the need to cheat or do things that are shady and unloyal?? I thought my bf and I were doing so great and one night I found his reddit account and on his saved was a bunch of naked women and comments. It was so shocking and I cried all Xmas day and night. Bc when i brought it up he didn’t continue to tell me the truth. Until I found the rest of it and it just broke me. He says he would never cheat or didn’t cheat and that it isn’t right but it’s not horrible. Yes it is horrible, I thought he was the opposite and all this time we have been together, we had gotten into arguments about things similar and I thought that we had left everything behind and I found this shit, this was something I never thought was an issue. He seemed to be so diff. I hate having to be on the edge... I just can’t believe it. I asked him questions on a lot of things he has told me before if they were true and he kept answering them but I don’t even know if I believe him.

[@katiecakesxx]

I'm literally in the same situation. Been broken up for 2 months now after I found out he lied about his past even when I would ask him throughout the relationship for the truth. How is everything now? :/

[@SahilSharma-ug7xv]

Maybe because girls don't sleep with him unless he offers them relationship.

[@dav42576]

What if you are a married person with a child in this kind of situation?

[@Miracle490d]

+Ashley Humphrey I never had kids, but speaking as a child from divorced parents DON"T stay together for the children's sake. Yes divorce is painful for the kids in the beginning. But staying in a loveless marriage whether you fight or distance yourselves avoid each other and your problems go back and forth leaving then returning, it's all a far worse unending torture for your kids. If both people can't be adults and work at saving it rip it off like a bandaide. Your kids will heal much faster. God Bless.

[@Miracle490d]

+Miracle490d Trust between my parents died when I was an infant. Religion stopped my mother from leaving. Duty stopped my father from leaving. They stayed together far too long. Divorce was the best thing that ever happened to my family! I got more quality time with my father better after he moved out. While he avoided my mom he (unintentionally) avoided me.

[@creating1_c1999]

+Ashley Humphrey No different. People in marriages stay for very different reasons.

[@dav42576]

+SParkApCider yes.i feel like a lot of this is my fault.i married him even though I don't completely trust him and now I'm in an unhappy marriage.Not to make this even more grim but my father passed from suicide about a month ago and I've just had a very different perspective on life since then.you only have one life and if you are unhappy maybe it's time to take charge and live the life you were meant to with no regrets.but like I said,I have a child and I'm married and divorce is hard.im a child of divorce and I wouldn't want to put my child through that if there was any other way but I don't know if there is any other way.

[@creating1_c1999]

+Ashley Humphrey Ashley, I have friend who I discovered that she was uncertain and ready to pack it in, then came the ring. And now three kids, one off to college in the fall and two on his heels, she was content to phoning it in and waiting for the last one to leave the nest. I told her, fall in love with that man again. I'm going to tell you the same. Talk to your husband. Tell him how you feel. Tell him how you are reflecting and what the result will be if he's unwilling to reestablish that trust. He's not unable to meet your expectations. But before you talk to him and present, be prepared to follow through, otherwise do not bother. Never bargain where you cannot deliver the goods.

[@sweety4271984]

My boyfriend cheated, and I don't think I can ever trust him again. Plus he lied to me about many other things. What he made an hour and weekly, when he was done work, where he was, who he was with, and what he was doing. Mostly so he could do drugs behind my back.