Will Checking Your Partner’s Phone Ruin Your Relationship?

[@abigailmyers1171]

i’ve been on the other side of this situation where my partner did cheat. from that experience i’ve learned that people will do what they want at the end of the day. if they want to be unfaithful they will. even if you have passcodes and passwords to their accounts. they’ll find a way. and it just gave me more anxiety having that info. let people be who they want to be. as scary as it is they will always show their true colors. it’s out of your control

[@ari_jean]

I'm just scared about the time you can waste untill "the truth comes out". My current boyfriend did cheat on his ex and it blows my mind that she could have not wasted all that time if she simply opened his phone gallery one time and saw a pic of him kissing his "best friend". I know I'm harming myself, but I can't stop checking his phone because I'm so scared to "end up like his ex", evem though he swears to be forever faithful to me... Gosh idk

[@Roseie22]

This is so true, you cannot control a person if they want to cheat they will find a way whether u know their passwords or not.

[@jadegreen1554]

True. Being damaged by a careless person like that really causes betrayal trauma. Healing from that is difficult. Maybe it starts with understanding it was caused by them being who they are and not you. Sure we would not be perfect, but that doesn’t give permission to cheat. Get out if you can’t bear it, don’t cheat and blame the person. It is cowardly and small.

[@Kykylandfarming]

I had to learn this recently.They will continue to talk to other people and cheat if they want! I had access to phone records and he knew about it and still continued to talk to this same woman and he knew I didn’t want him talking to her and he did it anyway he knew I could see the call logs and he didn’t care.It’s a rude awakening when you realize a person is so careless and doesn’t care.That’s when you make plans to remove yourself from their lives even if it takes a while just still stuck with your plans because in the long run it’s going to pay off and bring you peace.I’m out soon as I get myself financially ready.

[@jadegreen1554]

@@Kykylandfarming sorry you endured that. It is traumatizing to have been treated like this and trying to heal from it after

[@donnajames6067]

Someone hiding their phone is a tell tail sign of hiding something. Intuition has told me before to check my partner s phone. In doing this I found text messages to a prostitute. A narcissist will lie and gaslight and blame you! Which he did, he even blamed his son to try and cover up. Believe your intuition ladies !

[@mgu1N1n1]

.... and men! Works both ways, Toots!

[@kyeshacarter2642]

@AliSand you let your partner touch your private parts but you wanna be sooooo private over a cellular device, whatever 🤣

[@andylopez142]

If you look through your partners phone. With that shows is how insecure you are. What a lot of people do not seem to understand, is that a lot of people nowadays have sensitive information on these phone. Such as bank account information. How do we know that the person will not open the persons banking app and do God knows white. Like transfer money to them selves. Steal the persons account number and possibly commit identity fraud.

[@jenniferchatham3266]

I agree 100%. I just broke up with a man because I asked to see his texts with his xwife. He wouldn’t show me the texts. I told him he was welcome to my phone and I should be welcome to his. Red flags!!

[@andylopez142]

@@jenniferchatham3266 I will never let a significant other look for my phone. I have way too much sensitive information on there. Like my banking applications and things like that. How do I know that they won’t send money to them selves or do God knows white. We do way too much with these phones nowadays. And I personally would consider it a safety risk.

[@susananavarrete2801]

Honestly I have nothing to hide… if it makes them feel secure, I’m secure enough in myself that they can look all they want. It makes me feel happy that they see I’m secure and healthy enough to have them look all they want. I do however, expect the same treatment. I can look and grab anything of theirs too, without ill intentions.

[@brandon-toddhutchinson3798]

What about rants to friend about your partner? What sort of expectations would you have for your partner's and your reactions with stumbling upon something like that? Stop reading and continue on to something else or read through the whole thing?

[@susananavarrete2801]

@@brandon-toddhutchinson3798 to be honest, I would hope to find a partner who doesn’t divulge any information on our personal lives and relationship. If they have a problem with me then the expectation is to communicate it to me to solve our problems together. I have no tolerance for third party input and it’s none of anybody’s business. So if you’d like to read the entire rant… go ahead. But for me that’s a breach of trust and then I start to withhold information and then at that point the relationship is going downhill from there… I would just leave them to be honest.

[@brandon-toddhutchinson3798]

@@susananavarrete2801 So to clarify you don't expect either of yourselves to divulge anything sensitive, but if it happens and it's discovered and the reader keeps reading, there's a problem? or is it more so, you don't expect him to rant and he ought not read your rants? Thanks for entertaining my question btw.

[@susananavarrete2801]

@@brandon-toddhutchinson3798 you’re welcome And yes, I expect the both of us to be private and not divulge anything, especially sensitive information. Even if people ask me, “How are things with so-and-so?” My response: good And even if people try to pry, I’m like, “sorry, I don’t kiss-and-tell” People get the gist that you just won’t talk. So yes, I expect him not to rant, it’s not gentlemanly of a man to do that… and I don’t rant either, because that’s not classy. We can rant to each other or find other more productive and respectful ways to communicate.

[@sorincalin479]

@@susananavarrete2801 what a sane response you give. This is my mind sets. If you don't have anything to hide, you don't hide. If your partener will ask for privacy, for me is a red flag. You what for me to have trust în you, but you don't have trust în me to see your phone, email etc...somthing is fishy...

[@jessicajackson1200]

Funny thing is, i dont normally have the urge to check a partners phone, every time ive gone through a phone i had strong reason to suspect cheating and i found the evidence.

[@jessiepagnan2249]

I respected the phone thing even when my ex hid his phone or always had it on him. My phone was always visible and I even told him my password to check maps. A year+ later, I happened on his phone and, out of my character, I turned it on and 'you have a new match' was glowing. The dating climate is too complex now to simply raise the trust issue.

[@musicjunkie31karma]

I LOVE the way Audrey explained trust. I’ve heard a million people say a million different things about it but the way she said “trusting someone in spite of not having any proof” is brilliant. That resonated with me in a way that it never has before. Thank you so much!

[@kriptonis]

I actually don't see how it could be any other way. Of course there is that saying... "trust, but verify"... There is an unspoken condition in any trust relationship - that you will not behave in a way that makes you suspicious. So for example, I trust you, but if any time I look at you texting you hide it abruptly, that's a trust violation. It's not that I should be able to see it whenever I want, it's that you should not have a problem if I do.

[@musicjunkie31karma]

@@kriptonis well put.

[@BLOCSTARRENT]

​@@kriptonis bingo

[@kyeshacarter2642]

you let your partner touch your private parts but you wanna be sooooo private over a cellular device, whatever 🤣

[@giantvegantraveller]

Wow that’s true tho

[@Otts116]

Literally just had my cousin say this to me lol

[@ferraripure9970]

Sure sign of cheating

[@hughjanus2781]

@@ferraripure9970She not about to check my phone on the daily heck no

[@eveheart2876]

😂 in the past. I have let a guy I was dating touch my phone. 🤣 he went way back to 3 years chat smh 🤦.

[@jadegreen1554]

This does not apply to a long term relationship where there has been betrayal and some REPAIR and reconciliation is being attempted. The difference is a long term relationship that is being REPAIRED vs a new relationship that has no basis and trust needs to be built together. This distinction needs to be made. It is different when a betrayer is trying to make amends. Opening up your phones etc is par for the course in “repair and apology” (not new relationships)

[@lets.get.intoit.]

Thank you! I was thinking the same. My ex asked his ex for nudes while we were together and to repair that, he had to constantly reassure me and explain what happened and eventually we were able to get past it and I built solid trust with him again, so what Matthew was saying here didn't land so much. What this episode did leave me wondering about is an argument we had regularly -- his way of building my trust in him was to give me the passcode to his phone (I never asked for it). But then later he felt it was unfair that he had no access to my phone. I maintained that it was his choice to give it to me and that I'd never done anything to warrant his suspicion the way he had, but sometimes I wonder...

[@briannavilla9169]

What I was thinking exactly. If your trying to make me trust you again, and all your dirty stuff was in your phone, then I expect to check your phone when I desire and be more nosier then before because you betrayed me. Trust can’t come so soon after betrayal. I could forgive you or at-least try to forgive you. But patience and reassurance is highly needed. And it’s so crazy, for them to expect you to brush it under the rug and forgive and trust so easily. Like lord knows we really want too, but our minds & heart just can’t.

[@amazinggrace313]

My question is why do you even have a relationship with a betrayer?? You don’t have to and your self respect should’ve kicked in

[@amazinggrace313]

@@lets.get.intoit.I’m sorry but I would’ve kindly exited stage left. Self respect

[@shilohbell1573]

It’s hard when trust is broken to the point where you… can’t trust them.

[@MorganTDaniels]

All relationships are leaps of faith. One should trust until the person proves you wrong.

[@claudiap.6838]

but how would you ever find the proof or any proof that she/he is not worth it if you never check his/her phone? Most times the proof of cheating is only on the phone. Not that I would look on anybodies phone, but this makes me wonder...

[@Nikki.....]

but not trusting someone in a way they could ruin your life. these days people's whole life could easily be ruined if they give their login to someone else and they post something saying something horrible to messaging someone they shouldn't and all that

[@MorganTDaniels]

@@claudiap.6838 if you are that sketch man just break up. 9/10 times your intuition lets you know. You sense it. Something is up.

[@jadegreen1554]

Most of the time when people don’t trust it is because they are sensing something wrong… it either needs to be discussed before it goes further and turns into infidelity or choose how much you want to tolerate.

[@emily4514]

@@claudiap.6838 the feeling that leads a person to feel the need to check their partners' phone is reason enough to question a relationship. That feeling is valid - but the action of checking their conversations isn't. I think sometimes we feel invalidated without proof, as if a feeling of anxiety or distrust isn't enough. Your intuition tells you so much more than your lending credit to.

[@cqualif]

Get into a relationship with someone you trust. If you start having doubts about your trust for them (IT IS FINE TO HAVE THEM), then explain to them why. Ask to see their phone out of love and reassurance, and not entitlement.

[@musicjunkie31karma]

I did that and it was squeaky clean. Know why? Bc he had multiple burner phones specifically for the side pieces. You’ll never really know if you can trust someone or if they’ll hurt you but just like Matthew says, know that youll be able to handle it if you can’t

[@laurengonzalez8503]

I used to think checking your partner's phone was an invasion of their privacy but then I thought about it again. How can you give someone access to your private body but phones are off limits? At the time my ex was acting funny so I contacted CYBERLOGICS_ and got full access to sms, video calls, social media accounts without any trace back to me and all I can say is it changed my life

[@growwiththeflow.]

I love how Audrey at 11:24 is trying to get across the potential awkwardness that the conversation Christina and her bf would need to revisit regarding the relationship with her ex and the closure they may or may not have had, in order for clarity and transparency from their own past relationship together, in order to move together in the future in a changed and expanded way if they wish to. That takes humility, acceptance, and unconditional love to hold that sort of space for one another. Most people are going into relationships with past partners. We’ve loved what they brought out of us and it would so liberating to share that same part with a current partner without any shame. And there’s a reason exs are no longer in the position that they once were, just as there is a reason for current partnerships. Be empowered from it all!

[@csx6910]

Nothing on my phone I'm ashamed of. We're not talking random people here; we're talking the only person you should be able to implicitly trust. If they guard their phone like the Crown Jewels, that's a red flag. In terms of infidelity, even if they're loyal, if they're receiving communications from someone trying to get with them, it's expected they're shutting that shit down the first time it happens. They'd have no problem letting you see their phone because you could see that and, as long as it's true and they're not fucking around in another way, would only strengthen your bond.

[@tokyodoru]

right EXACTLY

[@slonikvasa]

When I was young and dumb, the guy I dated asked to share my passwords with him. He then proceeded messaging people from my account, insulting and blocking them, he deleted all men from my contacts including my grandfather and uncle. And then he was making posts from my account how much I love him. It was crazy. He embarrassed me in front of so many people. And at the end he was the one who cheated.

[@andylopez142]

This is why I would never give my partner my passwords to my social media. I had an ex girlfriend do this to me. Where somebody blocked her. And she wanted to get access to my Facebook account to message the person that did it. And I said absolutely not.

[@michelleelliott3827]

What I don't understand is the whole "privacy" concept when you're in a committed relationship. Why is that necessary if you don't have anything to hide? My boyfriend can look at everything of mine and if he has any questions about anything, all he has to do is ask. We're in a world of secrets and deceit! Why is that necessary???

[@TeatimewithVeron]

Spot on

[@Chev_chevo]

This is not fucking spot on. You're crazy af. The act and thoughts itself of needing to check someone's deepest sides means there's a bigger issue. You are insecure or controlling. That's not healthy for yourself. Go heal.

[@hgfw9295]

She should just be genuine and tell him she wants to continue dating casually with full freedom. That's all. He will either agree or will move on. That's very simple.

[@steatramurphy9190]

My boyfriend and I had been togeter two years. He had always been guarded about his phone. He started talking about living together in the 3rd year. One day after a date out I asked to see his phone and check his messages and he became gaurded and saying all these things about invading his privacy and etc. That's when I was done. Im not trying to be in a relationship for privacy. We share our body, the bathroom etc, but yet the phone needs to be private? I dont need to go through his phone all the time but at the end of the day you cant just take everyone for face value until you find out you allowed to waiste your time. Be respectful but proactive.

[@lilyoshiimitsu]

Lost yo man over that 😂😂😂 goofy

[@JUBUHSMURCA]

Hopefully he is doing better

[@crystalrainbowsunshine]

⁠@@lilyoshiimitsushe didn’t lose her man, she got rid of her problem.

[@MrDigztheswagking]

​@@lilyoshiimitsuright 😂

[@foreveryoursunconditionally]

She gained a better man later on probably. ​@lilyoshiimitsu

[@Sophie-iu6zv]

Can I say that the moment I felt I want to check his phone is when I stopped trusting him, which means it's time to leave, no matter whether there is a proof of betrayal or not? I don't believe that trust can be rebuild once it's broken. Happy Thanksgiving BTW lol

[@brookeherchelroth9373]

It’s all subjective - I think in todays culture transparency is a MuST! If you can’t leave your phone around there’s a reason. If you love someone you do what it takes to reassure someone, seems like an easy fix to let them have access. Transparency to say I need this or that - down to “I’m struggling with finding validation because I’m not feeling it from you and I’m being secretive online” and knowing your person won’t leave is the key. Communicating our weaknesses - our raw humanity is intimacy.

[@leighparratt3015]

I have no issue with my partner having access to all my info. I’ve zero to keep from them 😊 and I want them to show an interest!

[@laurengonzalez8503]

I used to think checking your partner's phone was an invasion of their privacy but then I thought about it again. How can you give someone access to your private body but phones are off limits? At the time my ex was acting funny so I contacted CYBERLOGICS_ and got full access to sms, video calls, social media accounts without any trace back to me and all I can say is it changed my life

[@Blue71974]

So the reason I have never and will never check my partner’s phone is because I trust him and I wanna give him privacy in case he has weird personal interests that are embarrassing, I for example like to watch cringe stuff on KZbin like AMVs and KZbin poops and I would feel embarrassed if that came to light so what if he has some innocent interests like that, that maybe he would feel self conscious about. What if he like to read manga doujins or fanfic with his favorite OTPs! I wouldn’t want to pry into that.

[@mathews0618]

Run. This is the foundation for a toxic relationship

[@kendalldyck6366]

Interesting. I’ve always had my phone open to my partner. We never go through each other’s phones anyways but, if they wanted to, I don’t have an issue with it. I completely understand having the right to privacy though.

[@Nikki.....]

but what if they read something from your chats with your friends and your friends simply don't want anyone outside that friend circle to know? you want to be open and trusting with your partner that doesn't mean your friends or anyone who texts you should be too

[@tokyodoru]

@@Nikki..... friends never come before a relationship what ru talking about

[@Nikki.....]

@tokyodoru people deserve to keep their privacy and have knowledge about who is reading what they're saying. they sent that specific, maybe private thing to you not to your partner.

[@andyike5484]

I think it’s unrealistic to expect a friend who’s in a long term relationship to not discuss what you talk about with their significant other. That person is their best friend and they share every aspect of their lives together, especially if they’re married-no relationship should be more important to them than their marriage. It’s expected that the partner receiving the information will keep it to themselves. If not, that in itself is a violation of trust in the relationship. If you don’t want their spouse/partner to know, don’t put it in writing, or explicitly tell your friend not to share it with them and ask them to delete the conversation. I’m talking about mature, healthy, long term relationships, not someone they’ve only been with for a few months or a volatile, on-again/off-again relationship. But if your secrets begin putting a burden on your friend’s relationship, again, especially a marriage, then you better just allow them to come clean, or find someone else to divulge your life to. It’s unfair to sow discord between two people by expecting one to keep secrets from/lie to their partner. If your life has to be that secretive, then you may want to re-examine your choices. That’s just my two cents.

[@atrocitus9198]

But the question goes that what can be so private that a partner can't see or know? The way I see is if I am not cheating then whats wrong showing my partner my phone for once ? that will clear any doubt , isn't it?

[@fatoumamakbell2608]

That true to build reassurance which depends transparency even there's not red flags

[@sans-nf7er]

The efficiency of this *brian hacks online* is next level. To juggle walk throughs of various angles on the topic delivered to-camera, differnet content per topic from various folks underneath the umbrella of the track list of the larger big band concert itself is engaging and refined. To make a dense taccess like this so digestible is really something. Awesome work Mike !!!

[@narcsurvivalist3921]

If she says NO, she is hiding either cheating or an emotional affair. Period. Make sure to check "recently deleted " files as well. They always get busted by technology.

[@amazinggrace313]

I’ve never done anything remotely betraying to any partner ever but you’re not going through my phone . Period. I have a right to keep privacy and I deserve trust . And also just because you’re not going to feel entitled to invade anything of mine that you feel like, NO!!!

[@shaylanewlife]

I don't check my boyfriend phone and he don't check mine . People going to do What ever regardless.

[@SeriousBlackThought]

💯 why stress out over it.

[@jacklinegaitugi2115]

That's true..I don't think checking on phones can change on how your partners feels about others

[@jimder2791]

Phone checks with your girlfriend should be normalized

[@crimson_fox_king7487]

Cheat much

[@jimder2791]

@@crimson_fox_king7487it should be the norm

[@HassanOmar-tk6nj]

My girl goes through my phone every night when I go to sleep, but when I do that to her, she don’t like it

[@Alessia_2029]

Trust your intuition!!!

[@allenmciver1888]

The problem of transitioning from a Situationship to a Relationship. The guy had to mentally adjust to you dating others at the same time. You have to move him out of the headspace where you already had one foot out the door. Do you want to give your heart to someone who already has one foot out the door?

[@amandayorke481]

It's quite normal for men and women to go out with different people before they commit to a relationship. Often one person wants that before the other person, sometimes they will try to "move in" on the other person's life, signalling to others in a very obvious way that this is THEIR turf - but without ever having gained the agreement of the other person. I have been in that other person's shoes. It's not a comfortable place!

[@gillianstapleton8566]

Without trust there is no relationship. Even if she gave him all her log in details because she knows she has nothing to hide she is going to get fed up with the lack of trust after a period of time and eventually reject him … just get out now it’s already doomed from the beginning…. completely not with it and a big red flag of really toxic relationships… Run now

[@dr.jenniferma3914]

What about the fact that SHE destroyed the trust in the beginning?

[@emily4514]

@@dr.jenniferma3914 she very well may have. But that doesn't justify losing her rights to privacy. If there's already no trust, he should move on. It's not about blaming, it's about developing healthy habits for ourselves and partners. Reading through private conversations is deeply unhealthy and toxic

[@yaseengaffoor]

People who cheat are the ones who have this mindset. I personally allow her to check whenever she feels. She used to say the same thing, I am too insecure… only to find that she was meeting with male “friends” constantly missing them, etc etc. I’m sorry. If you hide your phone then there’s cheating even if it’s in the form of a text

[@lozannevanniekerk5489]

The person checking needs safety just as much as the person being checking on . Sometimes a narcissist also needs safety not just the victim

[@lozannevanniekerk5489]

Cheating is narcissistic if there is a pattern not if it was just one person and it stopped and checking is also narcissistic. Safety and love .

[@serenitygilles7064]

I hate the feeling of HAVING to check cause you know they are cheating and 99.9 percent of time your right and it SUCKS would be nice to find someone you can trust and relax with. I wont get back with ex bevaise he cheated for years and left me via social media and is still active on fb. I was like no I'm good ty. I'm off media and to grown up for all the drama and pain

[@lucylocket118]

I used to look through my old bf's phone and found stuff that I didn't like so that's what happens when u do stuff like that ☹

[@yaseengaffoor]

The moment someone reaches out and they show some form of intention to be with your person… if they don’t shut it down the first time then they enjoy that attention. Sadly people like this exist and they are branching. Holding onto you until the next good branch comes along. We live in a sick world. People have too many options with how social media is structured. People have no sense of what love is and it’s why divorce rates are so high. I wish all reading this happiness and protection from people who are toxic. Hopefully love is on the horizon for all 😊

[@tomdrummy4984]

You cant have a healthy relationship without trust……..and Audrey is adorable ☺️🥰

[@Roseie22]

Always trust ur gut feeling.

[@vildana_vali1111]

People these days all want a great relationship with someone But also keep their social media relationships also! Sorry doesn't work that way

[@laurengonzalez8503]

I used to think checking your partner's phone was an invasion of their privacy but then I thought about it again. How can you give someone access to your private body but phones are off limits? At the time my ex was acting funny so I contacted CYBERLOGICS_ and got full access to sms, video calls, social media accounts without any trace back to me and all I can say is it changed my life

[@bradstanley6419]

Well I think someone offering you access to your phone . Speaks volumes as to where you are commitment wise . It’s Ultimate transparency . It’s 100% laying yourself out . For example . My ex wife accused me of cheating . Every single time I either handed her my phone or said you can go threw my phone whenever you want . Now that being said . No has the right to demand that Info or access . But What a person volunteers communicates exactly where they are .

[@anoy76]

This man really hit the ground running and hasn't stopped yet. He gives us more understanding of him without interviews and negative antics he just shows us who he is through the Recovery. True living legend. We salute you. *Brian hacks Online* . The execution, creativity, and goodness that came from it were inspiring on a number of levels. Cheers Alex & looking forward to seeing what you do next!

[@williamsmythe6752]

When you’re in a relationship, there should be very little privacy

[@meansled]

We recently went to a female therapist. my girlfriend and the therapist thought it was a great idea we swapped phones. Mind blown! (Uh can you say invasion of privacy?) Well That didn’t bring us more together.. now we’re fighting more than before! Shocker!!!

[@Plantladytiff]

Hmm prolly cause you had stuff in your phone that was not good for the relationship

[@zone1hearing]

It will when you find that “your child” isn’t

[@aerodylluk2543]

I have my partners phone pin, she has mine. I won't look through her phone, she won't look through mine. But the act of me giving her my pin and her giving me hers, and not being precious over our phones, is us saying we have nothing to hide. It's complex but if I ask to see her phone, or check it when she's out of the room, it's me saying I don't trust her. But her giving me the opportunity to do so (as in by not locking me out) if I wanted, is her saying 'look all you want you won't find anything'. And it's the same for me with her. It's not about actually using the access, I respect her privacy, she requested mine, but in leaving the door open we are showing trust both ways. We didn't plan this we just sort of fell into it and it really works for us.

[@andre182t]

Hello Matt!! I have learned a lot about me thanks to you, I feel stronger than ever to follow my north star and find the man of my dreams. I also wanted to say that I love seeing Audry in your podcasts, she is so smart and calm, just love you guys. Keep up with the good work. Greetings from Colombia!!

[@is.this.nailsart.designs2609]

I'm actually going through that issue and it's horrible. So I decided to do like my old self. Stop checking his phone and focussing in my life...I'll pray so that I'd catch him if he betrays me and stop trying to control his life! I want to be a great performer, singer and song writer...Let's get busy with my passions😊😊😊😊

[@l.k.1111]

Checking a phone should not be an issue unless there's something to hide or if you are so insecure for control that that is the only thing you can flex muscle on. Me personally, I do not care. At that point the issue is if I love you and are commited to you or not. If I am, go ahead no issue...if I am not serious about you, there is a problem. ❤️

[@amandayorke481]

Oh, I definitely think it IS an issue! It's a well-known control tactic used by men in domestic violence cases. It may just be that you have a nosey partner of course - but it smacks of co-dependency and insecurity. Also it's normal to chat to friends about someone you're seeing. I always let a friend know when I'm going on a date with a new guy for the first time. Just in case, you know? So I'd never let anyone have my passwords. Also, writing's my hobby. I share stuff in a writers' group that I wouldn't in other situations.

[@l.k.1111]

@@amandayorke481 Yes, you are right when those instances are the case absolutely. And yes, if they want to see what you and your friends are talking about (what you are saying about them as a person, prospect, or lover, etc) that is a sign of insecurity. That is exactly why I touched on both ends of this spectrum of phone access.

[@l.k.1111]

@AliSand Yes, people are entitled to privacy, but what is the source of wanting that entitlement? Just the sake of saying that phrase? Hiding something? Or having some sense of control reminiscent of when a parent or caregiver went into your room without permission and made you FEEL violated? Not you, but as an example. So I understand what you mean, just me personally, I am an adult and do not care if someone wants to look in my phone (IF I am interested in them seriously, go ahead. If not, it's a no no for that reason alone, that being "we are not even that serious for me to even want you in that deep").

[@amandayorke481]

@@l.k.1111 Boundaries, L.K. We all need boundaries. It's irrelevant WHAT reason people give. The Nazis used a similar tactic: if you're innocent you have nothing to hide. Yeah right.

[@l.k.1111]

@@amandayorke481 That is too much right there, went from relationships to nazi's. This is where I end the engagement.

[@hazusin338]

I'm having issues, in general i don't care what my gf does it's her choice but one time i had a gut feeling that something is off so i asked can i see your phone?And she started attacking me and later showed an empty chat with some dude at that point i knew she was lying (because that morning when i was getting ready for work i saw her phone getting a DM from that dude) and when i started to pack my shit and leave she started crying all night i'm still with her cuz im dumb and i know it will bite me later.

[@Seyid__085]

Thank you for your full focus on the job instead of focusing on proving yourself to others. You always tried harder to be better *johnson spy* and now your success speaks out louder. Thank you for a hard work. I’m sure it was worth it all. There is no doubt that you are the most deserving of all that should be given a shout out

[@ninagambardella3941]

this is great! I think most people lack communication skills.

[@slivic83]

Is there such a thing of checking to much?

[@iplayvideogamez5149]

I love what he started saying here 8:00

[@lisawhite8718]

Thankfully, after breaking into my ex's phone once I discovered he'd been inviting another lady to his hotel room when working out of town. Never did that before. Never felt the need but I wanted to confirm what I already knew in my heart. He dated her after and I heard she was controlling and insecure ("crazy") Well, duh, she knew about me the whole time.

[@deepeka134]

How did you break into their phone?

[@lisawhite8718]

@@deepeka134 his password was his pet name.for me. Got it the first try

[@celestemcmillan2006]

He checked my phone for hours, but I have seen pics of women and messages on his and he won't hand over his phone at all because I totally know he is hiding and lieing

[@__.Sara.__]

It sounds like he's projecting his infidelity on you. And trying to hide it. I wouldn't stay with this man, based just on what you've said.

[@celestemcmillan2006]

@@__.Sara.__ we are not together now because of his abuse and lies

[@lozannevanniekerk5489]

I agree with Matthew and Audrey this is the best way handling the situation it's not easy to talk about yet forgiveness on both parts are also important especially if the person truly mean it look you in the eyes and truly mean it. Calmly, open clear and can have that sense of safety and love.

[@laurengonzalez8503]

I used to think checking your partner's phone was an invasion of their privacy but then I thought about it again. How can you give someone access to your private body but phones are off limits? At the time my ex was acting funny so I contacted CYBERLOGICS_ and got full access to sms, video calls, social media accounts without any trace back to me and all I can say is it changed my life

[@lozannevanniekerk5489]

@@laurengonzalez8503 If I like someone or care I will like the pictures or stories or content. If it's appreciated . 😊

[@lozannevanniekerk5489]

@@laurengonzalez8503 If I know you like me liking I am a frequent liker and will show care . Nothing wrong with that like that's why they call it like and subscribe if the person appreciates it I will be in there love interaction.😊

[@lozannevanniekerk5489]

@@laurengonzalez8503 My husband likes comments or photos I am sure it's only cheating when it's sexual take the like as a compliment.

[@lozannevanniekerk5489]

@@laurengonzalez8503 Im done talking about the hacking and tracking it is criminal behavior I am from South Africa and I can put you behind bars easily. You think there is no trace be careful

[@cal5000]

If I ask and she says no, I'm out. General principle. No I don't trust all of my time and resources to your word. And if you feel some kida way about how I feel based on your actions, it's the Russell Simmons for you: "Thanks for coming out, God bless. Deuces." 👻

[@dr.jenniferma3914]

I agree. If you ask and it's an automatic no, then you pretty much know she's hiding something.

[@rachelpappin]

It would feel awkward if someone automatically just assumed you were cheating on them because they didn’t trust you when you’re talking to or hanging out with other People, how can you be friends with other people while in a relationship with someone if your partner can’t trust you, and them checking all your personal social media accounts and devices would be an invasion of privacy

[@lozannevanniekerk5489]

Well said Matthew

[@1hcc994]

Am I weird that I don’t care and I want a partner weee we can look at each other’s phones. Like not for cheating but just we can log in to do whatever on the phone.

[@hgfw9295]

No you are not weird. You are mature and look for an equally mature partner. Trust me you are in a good mindset. I'm like this with my fiance. We can always use eachothers' phones always pick up calls and even if it's some ex from 3 years ago calling with the bday wishes we both react with a loud "thank you. Everything is great. Im engaged and super happy. How have you been". It is normal to NOT HIDE ANYTHING. it's called a healthy relationship

[@palapalak.8907]

Honesty

[@kyeshacarter2642]

right, you let your partner touch your private parts but you wanna be sooooo private over a cellular device, whatever 🤣

[@giantvegantraveller]

@@hgfw9295I agree with this. Especially if trust is broke from the beginning and now character of the person is being really questioned…

[@juancruzregina8151]

This video helped SO SO much to make peace of mind with the idea of my ex leaving me because of her insecurities... I tried so hard to explain to her that I did everything I could to "put down" the fire... but it never was enough. I cpuldn,t do anymore but NOW I understand that there was nothing I could do because the one that needed to heal was her, she could´t trust in me wahtever thing I did for us. It´s a shame because I loved her so much, but this insecurity was so much bigger for her. I couldn´t understand her until now, thank you so much Matthew for your words.

[@tokyodoru]

LMAO ultimately you made her feel insecure and tapped into that, you clearly didn't do enough to make her feel like you cared, that's on you.

[@zehraharbiyelioglu9191]

As someone who's passionate about checking if my other significant is cheating, I'd honestly love to do this. It looks like a lot of fun. Also, the one cyber spy shouting encouragement when *Johnson Spy* was doing drills on the system was fantastic. I'd love to have that dude just follow me around and deafen me with motivation.🇺🇸🇺🇸

[@Jessica_OS12]

Thanks *johnsonspy* for the remote access into target's complete phone activities

[@daniellisa9410]

That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him or her so you just dealt with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one-- living and seeing him everyday anticipating when will he or she do it again. Your spy jobs are incredibly well done. No critique, thanks for doing this *JohnsonSpy*

[@BellaEstrella7]

I love Audrey! 🥰 👏🏼

[@sophiemorrison9820]

I find it so gross that one adult would invade the personal property of another adult with whom they're in a relationship. I was married to a man for twenty seven years until his passing. It never once dawned on me to invade his privacy.

[@chriswest7639]

That's wonderful. He obviously gave you no doubts. Count yourself lucky.

[@PinkHypatia]

That’s the ideal situation to have, but if you see or smell smoke, would you not then look for a possible fire?

[@kyeshacarter2642]

you let your partner touch your private parts but you wanna be sooooo private over a cellular device, whatever 🤣 that’s your situation

[@Heartcutelittlethings12._]

@@kyeshacarter2642 so true I totally agree with your statement . I will from now on will use these lines.

[@BruhHakeem]

It’s always a reason for your partner to not give you their password. They have something to hide, no if ands or buts about it. You don’t even have to check, just know it’s there

[@JoMama123451234]

I became guarded over my phone not because i have anything to hide, but because of my ex's constant and unfounded accusations that I was cheating on her. I knew that she would find something to feed her exteeme level of insecurity. One day when i went to go shower, i left my phone in the room and she checked (she knew my pin because i told her before). It caused a huge fight because i texted a female classmate with a question about the homework we had. I felt not only violated but punished for her wrongdoing. Long story short i tried to reassure her. Well, she eventually dumped me because she couldn't trust me anymore when i never did anything. She has some deep attachment trauma that she needs to heal but unfortunately i have to suffer the consequences and she took no accountability for her actions

[@flex_nyc9885]

Someone once told me if you want to be heartbroken go through your girls phone, if you want to be happy don't ever open that phone. I fucked up and opened the phone and I can say 8 years later that statement was right LOL!

[@soudanimohamed3105]

I swear this is what they call talk too much without saying much

[@KwameR.Sankofa]

the problem i have is if theres nothing to hide then just show it to reduce your partners insecurities if you love them if not dont do suspect shit like having your ex call you without responding with a text that says dont contact me anymore

[@AldoYoutube-o4h]

Thank you for all your work Matthew, you are amazing and helped me so much with my relationship issues. Having said that, I disagree with this view. Boundaries around privacy is something that should be negotiated in each relationship. If my partner came to me and said hey, I see you interacting with a lot of people of opposite sex online and it would put me at ease if you just gave me a glimpse to these conversations so I know that there is nothing there. That would be totally fine for me - cause I have nothing to hide. My priority would be to put my partner at ease. I do understand some other people draw a thick line around this topic but it’s should be discussed on an individual basis. I would get cross if after showing them the interactions, they would keep being suspicious and nagging me. But otherwise - it’s a low cost and high reward behaviour to just be fully transparent about this.

[@Sdfqweyui]

I've had a similar situation except the guy actually went through my laptop and phone several times, and justified it because I hung out with my friend who I was once romantically involved with once but were totally just friends now, and I wasn't fully upfront about it meaning i said i was seeing my friend but i didnt totally explain the background relationship with my friend. Because he found that was the case, he thinks it's okay that he went through my devices. Thoughts?

[@SPCPerez19Delta]

yeah, that's a no go. Of course he's going to have an issue with someone you were ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED WITH and now are just "friends". That's such nonsense and to say that it's insecurity is also a joke. It's called common sense. If I were him, I'd just walk away. It's so dishonest what you did and now you have created deep insecurity for this man.

[@7Berriez]

Yeah that’s a no go. You should never be friends with exes and especially shouldn’t be hanging out with them if you’re in a new relationship. He dodged a bullet cuz you’re a pos

[@chardebrown6318]

I was treated so well….but something kept telling me he is seeing other ppl….i said nooooooo….check the Apple Watch and this man had so many women 😅

[@ahmetelizan7567]

I appreciate your guidance and encouragement in helping me track my spouse phone . I would not have been able to do it without you *Johnson spy* . I am impressed by the superb work you do, and this time is no exception. It was not easy, but I knew I could count on you. I hope that you continue to embrace your creativity and utilize it in your work for as long as possible.

[@Jessica_OS12]

Thanks *johnsonspy* for the remote access into target's complete phone activities

[@Jessica_OS12]

This is not bot. it's recommendation to anyone who needs help. I'm also recommending above name who helped me 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸❣

[@daniellisa9410]

That feeling when your partner cheated and you don't have the courage to leave him or her so you just dealt with the pain and live everyday asking questions about your worth. This pain is different from the cheating one-- living and seeing him everyday anticipating when will he or she do it again. Your spy jobs are incredibly well done. No critique, thanks for doing this *JohnsonSpy*

[@mgu1N1n1]

Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!

[@dr.jenniferma3914]

Seems like a bold suggestion! Restraining orders, unless absolutely necessary, can ruin people's lives.

[@arcamarmoricarcamarmoric1477]

Imagine before the internet and the mobile phones somebody phone home and you tell your husband/wife you have not to tell him/her who's phoning. No man will want to suffer a woman anymore.

[@bensonella5175]

Finally, I accessed his account!!!

[@francoisantoine373]

Who did it ?

[@bensonella5175]

John

[@bensonella5175]

Unusual

[@francoisantoine373]

Both names together and search ???

[@francoisantoine373]

John_unusual___ !!?

[@edgardocardona1060]

I dated this girl once, she wasn't over her previous relationship. She was totally broken hearted 💔. She showed me a pic of her ex with three of his friends that she still keeps in her phone. At that point we were dating for about 5 or 6 months. I don't know why she felt the need to show me that pic of him with those other guys, but that made me uncomfortable and i felt that it was disrespectful to our relationship. If she never had any intention deleting those pics, then there's a reason for why she still had them. Otherwise, she would've deleted them herself a long time ago. I brought it up to her a couple of weeks later and I was expressing her how I didn't like that. Two months later, I felt the urge to check her phone and in.her Google Photos, she still had them plus vids of them with a microphone doing some kind of karaoke. I deleted those pics and vids behind her back without her knowledge. I never told her and I have no intention telling her. That's none of her concern. She should've never showed me that pic in the first place. If she thought I going to be OK with it, she was mistaking.

[@Sdfqweyui]

I agree with this video. I got dragged into the hell of his demons and trauma.

[@lozannevanniekerk5489]

If she tells the ex she doesn't appreciate the likes I am sure he will stop yet it's a compliment if your pics gets liked don't you want to be liked

[@jerismith8989]

I was caught "verifying truths" in my boyfriends apartment complex parking lot. He now has blocked me without a word. I wish I didn't do this and dont know how to repair it.

[@gameradasix1778]

I'm most sure that Brandon of *Johnson spy* is the solitary individual here that is really ready to complete this without any kind of grumble, I'm genuinely thankful to him for since, supposing that it weren't for him I wouldn't have discovered that my sweetheart was not the slightest bit steadfast from the beginning

[@ferraripure9970]

Trust is earned not given

[@gusionhanma5392]

Hi everyone! Am extremely excited and feel blessed to click on this video. I know it super long, but so far....am loving every single second about it. I always wanted to do something in the IT filed, but with my busy schedule...I was always contemplating on where do I start, what am I going to focus my studies on and how difficult will it be for me with no IT background? However, watching this video have answered to all the questions. Thanks for taking your time to put this together for people like me *brian hacks online*

[@daniellewhite3534]

How about calling it Audrey Answers

[@Honeybunz50]

I just won’t ever check nobody’s phone. I barely check mine

[@rakcityequine2.0]

My ex decided to look in my phone 3 months into our relationship while I was showering. I'd been single for almost 6 years casually dating before him. Obviously there were things in my phone🙄 2 years later he never got over anything from that night. I had to walk away.

[@ray076NL]

6 years of casually dating, thats an issue

[@cal5000]

Good for him.

[@hgfw9295]

Of course. You didn't really want a stable relationship with him. Keeping stuff and contacts from past casual situationships are a big indicator you still needed validation from others and maybe you didn't really view the new man a strong respectful and masculine enough for you to delete anything and averybody except family members really.

[@rakcityequine2.0]

@@ray076NL why is that an issue? I was busy being a mother and successful chef. Why would I want a relationship if I wasn't available for one? I had no reason to delete anything. I was very single on purpose. Going through a phone of someone you met 2 months prior is extremely invasive.

[@ray076NL]

@@rakcityequine2.0 a single mom, ofcourse.

[@SteveWKk]

Jesus......i was with my ex for 25 years... I would never never ask for her password to anything!

[@cal5000]

Well she's your ex for a reason so...

[@Noqqin]

@@cal5000 💀

[@JeniCasthle]

That's why you stay soooo long

[@Largeagegaplove]

I don't think it's proper to sneak a person's phone, but if you ask and they refuse it is a total red flag that someone is engaged in inappropriate behavior. If youvare in a serious relationship you both should be open books. If my partner refused my request she would be gone

[@selma6746]

How and where do I send the question to them? 🤔 Does anyone know? I am totally going crazy over this thing, I listened to all the previous videos and didn’t get an answer and reeeeeally really need to ask them about the situation I am in.

[@sarahkercheval8964]

So you are saying that if we are in a relationship with a guy who checks out other women in front of us then it’s probably a clear indication that he doesn’t respect us and we shouldn’t be dating. Harsh message but my gut tells me you are correct

[@Seamonkey2246]

How did they misunderstand the question so much? Woman is dating a man off and on for a year, and had met shortly after woman ended a 3y long relationship with a DIFFERENT man, not the same man presently. Their thoughts are spot on otherwise.

[@nakagwaesther6806]

Wawo l like your words much love from uganda 🇺🇬 Africa 🌍 ❤️

[@depession7392]

Hey man i know this isn't the right place to ask for personal advice but. I'm in love with my 2nd cousin and she's in love with me 2. Yes! I did smash and now i don't want us to end up separating, i want it to be official. But social disagrement is everywhere. What should i do??

[@katiefitbrit]

I checked my exes phone as he was acting odd with it. Found months worth of messages and sexual videos to another women. I messaged her to tell her he'd been lying to her and he lost both of us!

[@earlgrey2130]

I never did it. Until i didnt trust my ex gf anymore. And i found group chats where she got sexualized by multiple men, her still texting her ex that sexually abused her, all the guys in her DMs that were making fun of me when she cheated on me with them and there were pictures and videos of my ex being filmed during sex with her abuser where she let him degrade, abuse, hurt and violate her and loving it. I almost had a panic attack after and we're broken up now.. And i need trauma therapy to deal with the images of seeing the woman i loved being raped and being more into that than she ever was with me. If your gut tells you to check the phone.. there is probably a reason. But be fucking careful. What you find might destroy your life.

[@telmesomethinidk]

if he gets defensive of me wanting to play stupid app games on his phone, thats a problem……..this shouldnt even be a topic of discussion if you genuinely love each other. as part of a relationship, u share ur things with ur significant other. there is a difference between obsessive and wanting every fuckin account number and just being a significant other……

[@thanhlytherapy]

What about "Audrey Answers"

[@hezalakttan8158]

Hi .. ,me and my person in the relationship past one year but he havent follow me on instagram yet but on daily basis he is following other Girls and liking their pictures ...it feels like kind a disrespectful to me ...im mean what is this how should i handle this situation ... he barely calls but he is always busy on calls at late night

[@ScottBurnham-z1q]

I want access just in case if there’s ever a situation where my partner gets kidnapped, I can tell the police well there was this one sketchy guy who tried to add her a week ago

[@antihipsterboho]

Regardless of relationship length going through phones is too much. It’s unattractive and deal breaking. You can sense when someone is betraying you and you don’t need proof. Anyone that demands to see your email or instagram accounts is probably not emotionally stable enough to date.

[@giantvegantraveller]

So what about the partner your with is still talking and emotionally involved with the ex partner on ig ? Sending dms and liking almost everyday

[@jenniferchatham3266]

Log in to social media is acceptable if you don’t have anything to hide. Why would you not give them the info? Because your hiding something. If anyone hides there phone they are hiding something. I have no problem giving anyone that I’m serious with my phone and my log ins. No problem at all.

[@williamknight3757]

If you feel like you need to look through a persons private conversations, why are you with that person? You either need to trust someone or get out.

[@aniellofico2478]

​@@williamknight3757 trust has to be earned hun.

[@williamknight3757]

@@aniellofico2478 yes, but it’s also a leap of faith in a relationship. If they cheat and you stay with them, by all means necessary, look. But just because you’ve been hurt before, you can’t carry that damage into a relationship with someone that’s actually honest or you ruin the relationship.

[@IanO3]

​@williamknight3757 It's blind trust vs reassured trust.