I Gave My Girlfriend An ULTIMATUM, It's Either Me Or Her Best Friend r/Relationships

[@catandrobbyflores]

girl code is: don't date a friend's ex, lend feminine products if needed, get a fellow woman out of an uncomfortable situation if possible.

[@baronvonkek8467]

"Don't date a friend's ex" is also guy code to be fair.

[@kittikats]

You also forgot "If your friend is into someone then you don't go for them even they go for you."

[@Someone-or8tp]

@@kittikats And if a person you're interested in is in a relationship with another person then you don't pursue them.

[@orbynit8614]

Worth noting that the first one isn't even universal, generally just for relationships that ended badly and/or with a lot of lingering strong feelings whether positive of negative. I've definitely been in circles where dating exes is acceptable is some cases.

[@fantasystaplesuwu1554]

The first one isn't exactly right. I would be 100% okay with any of my friends dating any of my exes, simply because I don't hold on to past relationships.

[@pearbear6418]

Story 1: As expected, BootyHoleDetective once again solved the case and correctly deduced that OP is a massive a**hole.

[@joycec8]

BootyHoleadetective is the hero we need.

[@ChrisAndCats]

I don't think the GF is wonderful either - she shouldn't be continually cancelling plans with people - that makes the gf a bit of an AH too.

[@mfowler2246]

I wouldnt trust the "friend of the gf" who chimed in. Her response to the post involved a lot of underhanded insults aimed at the guys gf. It sounds to me like the gfs friends are a clique of particularly nasty and manipulative people. I think the boyfriend probably sees who they are more clearly than his gf does.

[@nai5949]

@@mfowler2246 How are they manipulative?

[@Alberto-wu1mj]

@@mfowler2246 why not? She clarified what happened, and gave a clear perspective. Even “Jake” didn’t dispute her perspective.

[@juanhaines7295]

Story 1 I've heard this before. I love hearing people on reddit called out for lying.

[@MarkNarrations]

When you see someone recognize the post and get involved it's like "ooooo weeeeee!"

[@jayster5077]

Free hug I'm in

[@alexvalentine5091]

Like the one with the mom being called out for showing up and ruining her twin’s birthday

[@Old_Toby]

How do you know either one is telling the truth? The whole situation sounds preposterous and ridiculous.

[@goawayleavemealone2880]

@@Old_Toby - That's what I'm thinking, it's either that or she's knows him and never liked him... which isn't necessarily justified... so she's actively trying to make him seem bad. It's quite funny that she's supposedly friends with OP's GF but has literally nothing complimentary to say about her. "It's easy for you to manipulate her because she's vapid and shallow", go on tell us how you really feel. She's basically tonguing BFF's ahole, metaphorically, in a way that suggests she's romantically interested in BFF. "She's allowed to talk incessantly about her dream job, she's worked her butt off for it", none of which changes the fact that topic of conversation has a limited shelf life even for people that love BFF. "You were never threatened with violence, what happened was ". Well your claim has no more factual backing than his, so now I don't believe either of you. Do you really expect me to believe a claim that can't be backed up, while trying to dissuade me from believing a claim that can't be backed up. Congratulations... now you're a hypocrite and as unreliable a narrator as the guy you're trying to convince us is an unreliable narrator. As for the idiot commenter that clearly has no actual problem... no bailing on a friend, doesn't mean you don't care about them. It might just mean that life got in the way, sorry not sorry but sometimes my needing to go to the hospital or bank or needing to babysit my nephews is just more important than coffee with a friend. Can people stop saying stupid things already? OP is YTA, but so is this White Knight.

[@ivorynk752]

The only "Girl Code" I know is, don't date each other's exes and always be willing to give away a spare pad/tampon. Hannah's "Girl Code" is obviously BSing Callum.

[@grinnylein]

The one I know is, keep each others glass save at a party, stick together, don't let your piss drunken friend be taken somewhere with a (strange) guy, if a girl you don't know joins your group your shouts out to you and acts like she knows you, if some guy is around play along with her and don't leave her alone

[@missm.e9914]

the one I know is "never leave a girl friend without a safe way home" like if a group of you are out together and someones car stops working, their ride doesn't pick them up, the bus gets canceled or whatever you don't just go "oh well sucks to be them" you stick around and make sure they find some way home or a safe place to sleep at the very least.

[@laurenc4138]

Exactly, it’s about keeping other girls safe from being harassed/harmed, loaning out period products (or letting them no if there’s was any stains type thing), and not dating an ex or flirting with a friends bf. That’s girl code, her girl code is “no woman can ever speak to my man” which is just weird and possessive

[@fantasystaplesuwu1554]

As a girl/woman, i would be 100% okay with any of my friends dating any of my exes. That part of the code is totally situational.

[@GLoLChibs]

@Ka Ja That's basic decent human code, men do the same thing for each other.

[@MisterNightfish]

Stories like these are why people need to be okay with just being by themselves. If you can be content without a relationship, people cannot exert this level of control over you. They start treating you shitty, you can walk away, because you know being alone is better than being in a toxic situation.

[@lumarie_2417]

A

[@selinesbeau]

An elderly friend always told me " I'd rather go thru life wanting what I don't have than having what I don't want "

[@kalmingkhaos5932]

Yes! It took a while for me to get to this point. I’ve been a serial dater since 18. The longest I had been single from 18-36 was 11 days. And these were all long term relationships, except for one that was 6 weeks. Now I’ve been single for just over a year and am very content by myself and no longer feel like I “need” to be with someone instead of being alone.

[@SailorMya]

@@selinesbeau So true, We need more people like your friend!

[@selinesbeau]

@@SailorMya She never married, and didn't have any kids, but boy did she have alot of friends. Two of them setup a granny suit for her in their house and she lived there til she died. Her funeral was packed and people had to tune in remotely from other locations to watch. There were some watching from different countries. She's the best friend I've ever had. Never be afraid to make friends with someone elderly. They can be a real gem.

[@lovinglifebutnotonearth3909]

Making the gf ditch plans with friends is a way to isolate the gf.

[@rosexknight]

Story 2: Hannah is toxic af. She’s totally justified to worry, but…There’s a blow-up air mattress. If Hannah is so worried about Callum having another girl in his room, why didn’t she offer OP to sleep in her room? This was about jealousy and control, not Hannah being worried about Callum having another girl in his room.

[@Wishfull171]

I agree mostly, I’d be uncomfortable if I didn’t know her even with the air mattress, but I never would have spoke to or involved the friend at all. I would have had a private talk with him about it then had a plan of either I stay over too in his bed or him mention casually that when late he’d just stay at my place and let her have his bed for the night etc.

[@Russman67]

Hannah's version of "girl code" is to isolate Calum to the point where he only sees her. It doesn't matter that the other women that are being cut off are friends or probably family. If you're a woman and not Hannah then you're a threat.

[@JDKT002]

I'm so sick and tired of people hiding behind "boundaries" to justify their insecurities and prejudices. It's one of those overused terms that's getting more and more bastardized.

[@alyzu4755]

Right? Textbook abusive behavior.

[@Davtwan]

@@JDKT002 - As well as the black and white nature. All crying = manipulation. Easy to make anyone look bad with a few magic words that tugs at the insecurities.

[@dvonart]

@@JDKT002 LOL jonah hill

[@身赤-w3w]

Lmao reddit brain. Most real life people believe it's crazy to allow so called friends of the opposite gender to sleep over 😂

[@zachf748]

We need to get Jake from Story #1 and Hannah from Story #2 together. They deserve each other.

[@MizTameRumors]

Story 1 BFF accuses him of being controlling and manipulative. Then he's throwing out ultimatums, proving he is controlling and manipulative. Even without the friend's reply he was TA.

[@peteranon8455]

1st story. I thought OP was simply a bad communicator and wondered why everyone responded with YTA before seeing one of the ladies from the friend's group calling OP out on everything. I guess I have to remember that when people communicate poorly, sometimes it's because they are hiding information.

[@crem-crem4070]

Story 1: narcissists never engage in self reflection, it’s a core part of their being and mindset to never think they are in the wrong. Making them realize they are not infallible is a core part of therapy with narcissistic personality disorders Story 2: girl code has nothing to do with cutting of friends. Girl code is 90% ways to help other women avoid being sexually assaulted/attacked/kidnapped, it’s why we all go to the bathroom together.

[@alexvalentine5091]

Story 2: It’s also giving them an extra pad if you have one

[@ivorynk752]

Yeah, I don't think therapy will help a narcissist because they won't be willing to change.

[@crem-crem4070]

@@ivorynk752 court mandated therapy actually does help in some cases

[@grinnylein]

Or when a strange girl at a party or something like this joins your group and acts like she knows you and seems a bit nervous about a guy that you play along and keep them in the group until she can be with her own group

[@samalvarez8776]

We also go to the bathroom together because honestly girls have great conversations in the bathroom

[@littlestrawberryfaery]

“ I was just venting 😢 while asking people to shame this girl that I made cry because I screamed at her and called her names.”

[@jessicarichards6796]

Even after he left out half the story he was still the ah. He couldn’t paint himself in a good light at all.

[@Callimo]

Yeah, all the questions were flaring up in my head when he gave one lame example of how the best friend was being "manipulative" when it was really just a regular apology.

[@TailsFan]

The GF is kind of terrible, too, interrupting the BFF talking about her job to talk about her vacation with OP. Like, good for you? Let her talk about her own life without your interrupting her and shoving your relationship down her throat? 😬

[@rubymeaddle]

​@@TailsFan no one said the gf is a saint, we just empathize with an abuse victim 🙄

[@erikahammer4337]

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ "I'm not controlling..." proceeded to give ultimatum about who she can have in her life. Dude, don't want to come off as controlling? don't give an ultimatum like that. Reason with her? Yes! Give an ultimatum? No! In your girlfriend's mind, you just gave validity to everything the bff has said. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[@petboy5839]

You're single aren't you? I can't see any guy wanting to be with you with this kind of thinking.

[@erikahammer4337]

@@petboy5839 you didn't finish the story, did you? The BF was controlling, and was deemed the AH.

[@SCP01986]

@@erikahammer4337 He's probably another one of those 'all women are b!tches who are wrong and out to get men' bros.

[@Kris-wo4pj]

@@petboy5839 most reasonable people wouldn't give an ultimatum they would just leave the relationship cuz it's not worth the hassle. It ain't that hard.

[@alexvalentine5091]

@@erikahammer4337 plot twist: they ARE the bf

[@saralove9805]

My ex was this exact and way. I stayed with him for 7 years and he controlled every aspect of my life, down to who I talked to (family included). LEAVE BEFORE YOU LOSE YOURSELF AND ALL YOUR FRIENDS. He will isolate you which will make you lose all sense of self

[@khaleesireyna731]

I'm sorry, but we REALLY need to start calling out this weird misappropriation of words like "boundaries" as in Calum's gf calling her unreasonable request her boundary. It's manipulative. A boundary is a rule you set for yourself "I will do a/b/c, but I won't do x/y/z" a boundary is not something you can force others to comply with. If someone doesn't want to follow your boundary, you walk away. Manipulators and narcissists are starting to co-opt that language to use it for their own bullshit and that shit needs to called out ASAP.

[@paden1865able]

My usual phrase is, "Control yourself, NOT me."

[@HobieInTheBox]

PERIOD

[@zebnemma]

Good but simple wisdom! 👍

[@joycec8]

"...good thing it's Sunday because you need some quality time with Jesus..." OOOOOOHHHHH! That's a good one.

[@reasonpeason847]

Did not believe for a second Callum hadn’t told Hannah about OP crashing for the night and would ya look at that.

[@stevenmccart709]

I would never think about telling my girlfriend to break up with her best friend. The BFF has every right to be upset.

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

Story 1- Really glad the gf got out of that relationship. Happy that she's safe and hope she manages to heal from this. Big congratulations to the BFF for all her hard work and accomplishments 💜🖤.

[@Russman67]

Story 1: I remember this one. Jake comes off as a 6'4" tool of a man child and dragged mercilessly. 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♀️🤦

[@givowl2160]

I think the biggest benefit I have gotten from listening to these stories is being able to pick up on red flags in a relationship much faster. As soon as I heard the password bit my brain went "oh that's bad". Similar reaction with the second story. Thank you for presenting these stories with kindness Mark, it is appreciated

[@TsukiKageTora]

So to prove themselves as not controlling, they give their girlfriend an ultimatum of him or best friend, trying to isolate them or control who they have in their lives… smaaaaaart

[@TsukiKageTora]

Story 2: OP’s friend needs to dump the girlfriend who is so quick to call his female friend disrespectful for not leaving and sleeping in the streets cause she was uncomfortable with her staying. 0 lack of empathy and human decency

[@kohakufi9]

Especially when she could have offered her place if she was that uncomfortable and she didn't

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@kohakufi9 ngl I wouldn’t have offered my place to someone I just met, I’m very very cautious around people I don’t know with my personal stuff. So I could understand that but I don’t understand why someone would essentially make someone go back on their plans cause they were uncomfortable with it knowing about them for months. Why wait until the very last minute? I would just be like “my bf planned this so it’s fine, I’m not about to make this girl sleep elsewhere cause of my own insecurities” (and I don’t have any insecurities at least that I don’t know about)

[@kohakufi9]

@@TsukiKageTora tbh I probably wouldn't have offered either. But if I'm not going to offer up an alternative its not up to me to tell someone they can't sleep where they had arranged to sleep previously at the last minute

[@kohakufi9]

Although by the end of the story we see it was all a ploy, there was nothing to understand it wasn't about op sleeping over it was about op being a female friend. This just gave the girl the "perfect" excuse to get callum to break off their friendship

[@TsukiKageTora]

@@kohakufi9 she’s just a controlling insecure sensitive victim-playing manipulator.

[@riley6740]

When people start to isolate their partners, it’s a big red flag. And for her to start this crap within 2 months is scary. Narcissists usually wait for at least 9 months to a year before starting things like this. It’s to insure that they have their claws into the partner before they start the isolation.

[@jerriewyatt905]

Story 2.. Hannah is one screwed up lady..Sounds like she needs to see a therapist to help her get her head on straight..

[@Rjeda30]

Most of the people in the first post, specifically the toxic relationship couple need some intensive therapy before they inflict themselves on the next unsuspecting person. Guys like that will one day run up against themselves in a female. Karma works in ever mysterious ways. Always stand up for your friends even if they push you away, never let them forget your there when they need you. That’s awesome that even how bad the boyfriend was her friends kept including her so she wasn’t totally isolated with just the big baby. OPs GF has some very good friends.

[@jesterbrown90]

After reading some of these stories, I've come the the conclusion that "stay out of it" and "mind your own business" are such big red flags regarding abuse, they might as well be trademarked.

[@cutietae247]

I’ve heard this story before but honestly , as often as comments have real life people as part of the story. It really proves that each story has their OWN SIDE

[@nancyjay790]

This story clearly had a side the OP wasn't presenting accurately. But it does make me think how many people successfully paint a portrait of things, and Reddit never picked up on it. I recall one story where a guy successfully framed his wife's cousin as manipulative and controlling their daughters to force a friendship. But later, it's called by that cousin, who, rather than constantly harassing them just called and visited maybe three or four times a year, and the original OP's daughter had made a video mocking the other girl's voice and mannerisms, and uploaded it, too, and the original OP always made fun of the girl. But with the original post, lots of people said that while it might appear mean to make fun of the cousin, her mother "shouldn't force a friendship", and even thought the girls might both not want a connection. You can never know how much of what is told is true.

[@GLoLChibs]

The over indepth comments from the friend make me think it's a fake. People on Reddit are quick to believe everything that is posted. To the point my friend once said he was certain people could pick up on a fake- so I submitted a fake, complete with 'friend' comments, and that thread got picked up by Newsweek and YTubers 😶 Take all of these stories with a truckload of salt grains.

[@mkatal8329]

As someone above said, everyone in this story comes off badly. What a soap opera of intertwined drama. Long time friends often have difficulty growing up and apart and that sounds like a big part of this even if one party was "worse"than the others. I see "have been inseparable since middle school" and still being so intertwined they can't have separate relationships as a bad thing too. Plenty of disfunction and drama to go around.

[@rubymeaddle]

​@@GLoLChibs JStark replied to the commentor confirming they were there, my god why are y'all going to bat for a toxic person like that

[@TheMimiSard]

Story 2 - I have heard videos about "Girl Code" and whatever this GF meant is not it. What those vids describe as "Girl Code" is girls supporting each other in potentially stressful situations, like if a girl gets pestered by a guy at a bar, other girls will give her support, if she's got something wrong with her appearance that can be fixed easily (food between teeth, loo paper, skirt hitched up, hair a bit messed) other girls can tell her so she can fix it. I believe it also extends to the emergency cocktail at bars - the one that is a heads-up to bar staff that the girl feels in danger and needs a way out. As you might see, it is not "Girl Code" to drive off all of a guy's other female friends.

[@jakeand9020]

Story 2- Abuser Love bombing, isolation, pretty standard playbook.

[@Norinia]

That’s a thing I hate about this current era. Suicide was just starting to be something taken seriously, then a couple abusive dicks (who would have used any other method) used it as a manipulation tactic. Instead allowing for the room to call those dicks out, some people doubled down and started chanting how it’s just an abusive tactic from anyone to leave. One video I saw stated “Well, if Susie is always ‘SaD’, then you just need to leave Susie.” (It was something like that) It’s to the point it doesn’t feel safe to mention any trouble anymore. Two sides I’ve seen from that pain, ether they feel their life has crashed and will never recover, or they feel their life causes everyone pain and they’d all be better off without them. Nether is true, but if ether gets stabbed with this “YoU jUsT wAnT tO mAnIpUlAtE mE!!” It smacks the message that how dare they trouble anyone. Sorry if I’m not making sense. This topic just hurts. Last year I broke saying I .. well.. in front of my dad. He grabbed my face and said “if you ever say that again, I’m dumping you in a padded cell.” (Medical services in my area are massively negligent or abusive. He pretty much declared he’d abandon me, while my mom, who always pretended to be on my side, sat there saying nothing.)(I’m working on leaving to somewhere hopefully safer.) Hearing the friend is a chronic apologist just jams that home to me. I’m disgusted OP tried painting her apologies as abuse tactics. Girlfriend sucks as a person too, it sounds like SHE’S been sidekick to OP’s narrative of the friend being a bad person. The snake whispering the worst fears she may have into her ears. Absolutely disgusting. I’m glad the friend has some of the rest of the group on her side, though. I hope she cuts off these toxic people, she deserves better than this.

[@OceanSongBird6355]

I’m so sorry to hear that and I hope u get away from them soon and thank u for sharing with us

[@michelehofstetter4803]

#1 - We don't know which of these people is lying.

[@Swnsasy]

Haha, I'm so glad the people on Reddit saw what I saw! I'm like WTF?! Don't ever give ultimatums for one but I would absolutely be upset if my friend constantly canceled on me for her boyfriend and then you have the nerve to tell her she needs to choose? GTFOH wow, the audacity of him!! Narcissists never see how narcissistic they are.. I'm not controlling, HER OR ME! Lol...

[@deppresedonion6320]

Story 1 Pegged as the AH . Gotta love a good double entendre meant or not .

[@mage1439]

It's funny how even before the friend found the post and added clarification, everyone knew the guy was the problem. And then he rightfully gets his ass handed to him and pulls the old "this is none of your business, leave me alone" card about a problem he broadcast to the world.

[@AndyyWithAY]

A dude come out of the woodwork and gets between me and my besty for half my life his ass is grass. But honestly the GF is trash too. OP and she deserve each other. It's not cool to change plans with someone else because you got a better offer. OP is TA, but so is the GF. Again they deserve each other.

[@BraveryWing26]

SO GLAD first OP was called out and outed as an asshole.

[@Tammohawk1]

1. Jake is the type of guy that is going to blame everyone for whatever happens to him. Girlfriend broke up with him because he's a jerk? Not his problem because she is crazy. And on it goes. His girlfriend is better off without him. I hope she gets some help for her insecurity issues. You don't need to be with someone to be validated. Learn to be just fine alone. 2. I cannot imagine being so insecure that I felt the need to not just try to manipulate, but lie on top of it. What a miserable existence Hannah must live. The girl code is simple. You don't date or sleep with your friends ex's, or current significant other. They are hands off.

[@enkiimuto1041]

14:52 - Uh... just sleep with your bf and the girl sleeps on the floor, BOOM, problem solved.

[@itazuranakisu]

All the more reason why stories where it’s obvious OP is NTA that it makes me wonder if they’re withholding. Same with the just no in laws and golden child stories. Some people are good at lying, downplay facts and exaggerating so they look better than what they are in real life to justify their AH moves. Just today I came across an OP who was mad their mom said one comment about their fiancé and uninvited her but hid the fact that his fiancé trash talks his mom too (except he thinks since fiancé says it behind his mom’s back it’s okay). Sounds like from OP’s post his mom hasn’t said anything before about fiancé and was drunk at the time.

[@Weirdandwonderfull19]

Story 2- Really glad Callum got out of that relationship before their lives became more entwined which would've made it harder for him to escape. His ex doesn't sound remotely stable. Hope Callums friends are able to support him during this crap time. Onwards and upwards Callum! 💜🖤

[@TsukiKageTora]

This is why you should take every story on reddit with a grain of salt. Every story can be true, false, a little bit of truth mixed in. There are genuine people looking for actual genuine advice or judgements but there are also people that aren’t genuine people and forge stories or details to make them look like the better person or the victim.

[@woman_of_mayhem]

That’s what I always say, there is always 3 side to every story ops side, the others side and the truth. With any story.

[@matthewuzulis5016]

What is with both stories having a SO that seriously needs therapy? OP in 1 and BFF's GF in 2. They were both manipulative POS' and should get together just to see what they are like themselves.

[@RandomGuy-j8t]

I've seen many a nice person manipulated to cut off friends, to the point where nobody wanted to be around them any more - which delighted the controlling partner but alienated everyone else - even family members. An easy rule is get your close friends honest opinion on your bf/gf and REALLY listen if they see warning signs. If your new bf/gf is finding fault unnecessarily with your friends or causing you to cancel plans - red flag!

[@Resilient_Sage88]

Story 1: not only is this guy an a-hole, he's a massive liar as well. Love the fact that someone not only called him out, but essentially hi-jacked the post. Good to hear the GF dumped his ass. She needs to gain some self-worth before she pursues another relationship. Story 2: NTA. I've heard this one before and Hannah was totally love bombing whenever Callum "did what she wanted" so definitely showing a few abusive traits besides manipulation and isolation.

[@Yourlocaltrashgoblin]

Story 1: Esh Gf is an ass, op is an ass, bffs bf is an ass, and bff sounds a little iffy but not an ahole Edit: nope jake and gf suck, not all of them Story 2: heard this one on markee, and god the gf Pisses me off lol. Op from s1 and gf in this story would be a scary demon couple, kinda tempted to see them introduced to one another, maybe they’ll finally understand how shitty they are I think I have a problem, since I figured out you upload daily every couple hours I check your channel to see when you upload, lol good job as usual mark :), I’m a frequent watcher but mainly a lurker lol

[@MarkNarrations]

Aww L thank you for your support towards the channel. You're appreciated!

[@Yourlocaltrashgoblin]

@@MarkNarrations awww thank you ☺️ continue the good work

[@peteranon8455]

@@Yourlocaltrashgoblin I got the same ESH vibe until the mutual friend called OP on all the lies.

[@Yourlocaltrashgoblin]

@@peteranon8455 YEAH

[@carlrood4457]

Oh, the irony. "I wanted to save you from the opportunity to put another woman above me." Now he's putting EVERY other woman above her due to her actions.

[@tashacooper1753]

I really like when the other people find the story

[@sedalionthunder6295]

First storey, been manipulated by a gf in a similar way, good on the friends for calling it out, 2nd storey, take great care, Hannah does sound very controlling and the bf should be warned.

[@stoopingfalcon891]

The moment ANYONE declares an ulitmatum, the relationship should end.

[@thotimusprimeofficial273]

that first story sounded so sus 😬 glad everyone called him out

[@j.munday7913]

Never. 👏Cancel. 👏Plans. 👏For. 👏Boys.👏 Also, if someone gives you an ultimatum - whatever vs me, always choose the other thing. You can thank me later.

[@melodyc123]

You shouldn't cancel plans with a friend when your bf pops up last minute. That's shady. A boyfriend should also make plans with you. Don't expect her to drop everything for you LAST MINUTE.

[@Voodoomaria]

Story #2: "Girl Code" Okay, if there IS one, I was never given a copy. And trust me, when there's a man in the middle, if there IS indeed a "Girl Code" the book gets chucked out the window, the gloves come off, the knives come out, and it's No-Blow-Too-Low. "Girl Code" My *ss. Don't you ANYONE, Man OR Woman believe that such a thing exists.

[@Chuckf66]

50 bucks says Hannah is a bunny boiler.

[@Donkeyearsa]

On the first story I don't see the issue. If the girlfriend is such a bad person to everyone else they would be better off if OP and his girlfriend just disappeared. Basically good riddance to bad rubbish.

[@catte.]

Oh this is a good one if this is what I think it is. Thank you for the video Mark

[@MarkNarrations]

Hey Nina, thank you for always being involved!

[@cheskydivision]

Gf could have offered her place to op if she didn’t want op sleeping at her friends.

[@brit9778]

Am I the only one who is still weirded out that OP of the 2nd story said "My Callum"?

[@delmarhi]

That first story was a good pick-me-up post. Nice to know my bs and asshole detector still functioning at peak levels. Had that guy pegged in the first few sentences. Update shows the human race still has that light sparkling in its soul.

[@lucretciaseven4873]

Last Story: Dude that ain't any kind of "girl code" in any universe or alternate dimension, Hannah is either completely delusional, a controlling cast iron liar or both,

[@carlrood4457]

So if the GF was going to spend the night with Callum, why couldn't the OP stay in her room and sleep in a real bed?

[@macylouwho1187]

My mom does this to her current boyfriend. She isolates him, beats on him if he stands up for himself at all, and controls his finances. One of his sisters made the mistake of commenting that they do not have a good healthy relationship dynamic and my mom lost it on her for telling the truth. I’ve had many yelling matches with her over her treatment of this poor guy who is hopelessly in love with her. They live in one of my rental properties. She has cut him off from his friends and family because she’s sure they are all against her (who wouldn’t be???) stopped his favorite hobbies (he used to regularly golf or go fishing with friends) and now controls where he goes and for how long. The only reason I’m not out is because I’m her only child and she needs the roof over her head and is too messed up to get her own. So I have far more leverage than anyone else. I’ve tried to help him as much as he will allow and sometimes when he gets beat on he comes to stay at our house for a short while. I talk and talk to him about how men absolutely can be domestically abused and that he is clearly being abused and isolated for more control over him and his money. I’ve tried and tried to get him to call the police on her and he refuses. Because “love”. He always goes back to her when she love bombs him and suckers him back in. I can’t help him if he won’t help himself. The times when I have pushed too hard to get him to either call the police or let me call them he tells me he can’t because he loves her and he won’t come back if I do. So there’s nothing more I can do I’m afraid. His family and friends are beside themselves about it. I’m with them, I really don’t know what to do either. If I evicted her he would go with her wherever and I would never see either of them again. His last safe haven would be cut off from him, even if it’s voluntary. He won’t go to his own family because he is too ashamed and embarrassed about it. He doesn’t want them to know what is happening to him. He could rent a place from me for lower rent but he won’t do that. He won’t leave her for any amount of time.

[@bettreon]

I had something similar to story 1 when I started dating my wife. Except that when my wife would make plans with one of her bffs they would literally cancel at last minute. One time the bff literally canceled as my wife was at her door ready to go out. I told my wife to take a break from her for a bit because she was tired of getting hurt. They eventually reconciled and I'm glad for that, but I will always be weary of that friend. My wife knows this but I don't stand in the way of their friendship.

[@jeannebuttons5301]

Girlfriend Territorial Over Cellum: OP should have insisted right then and there and having that conversation with Cellum when Hannah said that it was being disrespectful. First and foremost, the property belongs to the dude and he can offer the space to anyone he's so chooses and it was never her place to decide who could stay and who should go. Second she wanted to keep this a secret because she wanted to be able to spend the story her way and to make OP out to be the bad guy but I guess I'm used to that overall these years.

[@GustavoRodriguez-qr5po]

The boyfriend could have been sympathetic if he was humble and apologize

[@Monster_Ink]

Hey I just noticed, congrats on the 101.000 subs! 🎉🎉🎉

[@davidsantiagotate7380]

I had an evil ex who did stuff like that girl in the last story. I can guarantee that the friend is a lot happier now!

[@Believesinpeace]

Girl code😂 could tell from when the op said that she was taken outside to talk that Hannah had been told about her staying in Calum’s room.

[@WobblesandBean]

The second OP said "why are you lying about me being controlling", I knew OP was TA and an insufferable conkwocket.

[@JasperCatProductions]

Whose feeling wouldn’t be hurt if you keep getting ditched by her best friend.? Dude sounds jealous of the best friend.

[@ToeBeanCozy]

I SAW THIS AND I WAS SO HOPING YOU'D COVER IT. This guy, honestly

[@digit5465]

Im in the exact same situation, but maybe worse. My ex was manipulative and lied about everything, made his ex’s seem like their the bad guys, lied about everything to make himself look like the best person youve met. When i spoke to one of his ex, i connected the dots and tried to expose him. Everyone took his side and was gaslit to make *me* the bad guy. None of them are now talking to me despite i have proof. No joke, i was always around him and never my friends as much, when i give my friends some affection (like hugs) he gets all pissed over it. Pretty much the exact same as what happened (One of my favorite lies of his is that he’s related to Lars Ulrich, the Metallica drummer)

[@cheerio3847]

I don't think Hannah understands the word 'boundaries'. A boundary is like a circle you draw around yourself, defining your own rules, values, interactions etc. You don't get to draw anyone ELSES circle because that would be THEIR boundary - not yours. Even if you are married or in a long-term relationship, you can only participate in drawing a circle around the both of you that includes both of your individual, separate circles, but that must be done by both together, not unilaterally. Hannah talking to OP was actually acting against Callum's boundaries. You don't get to include someone else's space in your circle as it already is inside their own circle.

[@naptime1900]

Sounds like bff would be better off with out gf unless or when controlling boyfriend gets dropped.

[@CaulkMongler]

NORMAL, sane Girl Code: no dating friend’s exes unless you get an explicit go-ahead, always be prepared to donate a pad or tampon, uplift other girls (especially in the bathroom), watch out for the safety of other girls, don’t be a dick. That’s literally it.

[@deborahosborne9426]

Jake is a narcissist. He won't change. Gf needs therapy, badly.

[@seshthecat]

I have a massive problem with the friends comment. They say the girlfriend is struggling and that OP was controlling her yet the friend still shat on the girlfriend even though she's being treated so badly by OP. The friend came across as victim blaming the girlfriend.

[@FriedaMMartin]

Almost Halloween! Will poppy dress up?

[@MarkNarrations]

Haha my Niece wants to go as a Pokemon trainer and have Poppy as "evie" not sure yet though.

[@FriedaMMartin]

The fluffiest Pokémon

[@Imthesoulofthes]

Good Man. Standing up for Himself and not taking disrespect from Anyone.

[@maddy8328]

Story 2, the girlfriend actually does not have the right to decide who stays in his room, he does. Its HIS room. Also he didn't inform her at all and you had this planned for a long time.

[@lalipopz90]

Girl code ?? GIRL BOO 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #2: OP, this is drama between your friend and his GF. Your first instinct was correct. Let him handle it and if she tries to hassle you again, direct her back to dealing with the person who promised fidelity to her, 'cause that person ain't you. If he chooses to cut you off because she's being dramatic and he'd rather cave to her isolation attempts, that's unfortunate, but it's on Callum, not you. At least you'll know where you stand. Update: So, Callum went from dating checked-out Girlfriends In Name Only to hooking up with Crazy Town? Dude, for the sake of your platonic friendships with girls in your social circle, get some therapy, and learn about healthy boundaries.

[@Wishfull171]

She deff over reacted but I think it would have been solved if he just talked to her about it before hand. The convo they had wasn’t shared so there’s no knowing what was said or if she asked him to do that or he just chose to handle it like that. But the gf should not have involved her at all tbh. If it were me I’d had talked to him privately and him casually mention I was staying in his bed too if it’s cool, or that he was crashing at my place and giving her his bed for the night.

[@wmdkitty]

1: YTA. OP already sounds controlling and abusive, and it's super obvious he's trying to isolate GF, I can't wait to hear his justifications. ... ... Wow. OP is a massive a-hole. GF might be a bit flaky (which is not the issue here) but I'm guessing she's blowing off BFF for OP because there are _unpleasant (physical) consequences_ for not doing so. I love how the friend read him for filth in that reply, fucking ballsy move, man. Good on the friend group for not letting OP isolate GF. 2: NTA. This was all prearranged between OP and Callum, Hannah (?) has no right to decide who visits (or sleeps over) at OP's friend's place. She doesn't get to set boundaries for anyone but herself. (She sounds controlling and insecure.)

[@diarradunlap9337]

Hannah was trying to do the same thing the OP in Story 1 was doing.

[@stevekerrigan6546]

Story 1: Did Jake really think people wud side with a controlling PoS like him? Jeez listening to it the more obvious is showed he was the AH good luck to now Ex-GF and her BFF both deserved better than dealin with him

[@ashlaraque4135]

I will never understand why people will go through drama with their friends so and then the next day when they have decided to say absolutely nothing to their friend about the situation they’re shocked that shit is blowing up? Like what in the fuck? I always see the same situation in on Reddit posts of people who aren’t proactive enough to tell their friends or relevant parties what’s going on before shit blows up in their face.

[@browniewin4121]

1) If your girlfriend had plans with her friend she should not be cancelling to be with you, that's not ok. You do sound like you have been manipulating your girlfriend to get her to do that, and you do not have the right to give GF an ultimatum. YTA. After update: Glad there is someone to give a more reliable narrative. Honestly it wasn't necessary to have it to know OP is the AH. After final update: I'm so happy to learn AH was dumped and the friends are doing better. 2) Ignore this jealous unreasonable, overly controlling GF, it is not up to her who he is friends with and who stays at his place. Too bad OP did not speak to friend and let him know who his GF was behaving. He needs to make an informed decision not just bend to awful girlfriend's version of events and supposed reasons. OP needs to have a conversation with her friend. NTA and you owe no apology. After update: Oh wow, GF is even more awful than I first thought. It's good your friend now knows the truth. It's great news he has broken up with her and apologized to those who were wronged by her lies.

[@raizohado780]

Story 1 sounds like almost everybody is toxic in the situation

[@MrBuns-yi2hk]

I thought the bf was saying that his girlfriend was canceling plans with him to spend time with her boyfriend. Oops.

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Whoever is reading this i send hugs and great vibes. Drink water, eat food, nap, take a break, take care of yourself gosh darn it. And if you don't I swear I will find you and keep you in a cottage and take care of you. 🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜🤗🤗💜💜

[@jessicapalmer3455]

Hugs for you too! 💙💙

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@jessicapalmer3455 much love m8💜💜🤗🤗

[@paden1865able]

Much love, sweet heart! I survived giving one of the cats her bath and I am leaving the other until tomorrow. Blood was drawn and I wanted a stiff drink afterwards. Lol! She needed it due to rolling in spilled cooking oil and I found, shudder, fleas! I can't abide those little blood suckers...

[@huntresswane9947]

@@paden1865able There are grooming bags that make it easier for bath time and as an ex vet assistant i highly recommend getting flea drops. You can get some from your vet or chewy.

[@fanfiction4thewin149]

Story 1. Op and GF sound like the ah. Gf shouldn’t be canceling like that. That’s not okay and is valid for her to be upset. And op should see that and not give a ultimatum

[@nareegreel]

Story 1, GF sounds like a massive deek too. I had a friend like that, only he succeeded in isolating her. I forgave her but everyone else was pretty much through with her. They broke after a super nasty split and thank God for that.

[@mztweety1374]

If they had kept dating he would have completely isolated her. I'm sure of it.

[@elizabethmactavish739]

The boyfriend/ex majorly needs therapy or a psychological evaluation. His way of thinking and isolating the girlfriend is bonkers

[@AndyyWithAY]

Has anyone checked out Am I The Devil? Great stuff. All AHs all the time. Hope Mark will read it sometimes. It's mainly YTA posts from AITA. Way too many NTA posts over there for me these days.

[@HackiePuffs]

Yeah I’m addicted to it

[@diarradunlap9337]

Do they try to filter commenters and make them treat AHs thoroughly undeserving of compassion with "decency?"

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@diarradunlap9337 I don't think so. I see comments where people are saying I was banned from AITA for X reason. I don't think AITD has those rules

[@ergotempusvernum]

The friend reply in 1 is sus. A. Calls the friend/girlfriend self-centered but not assertive. B. Says the boyfriend is manipulative but then waffles to say that it is the girlfriend that is manipulating him.

[@Batmanapplejax]

Story 2: couldn’t gf have offered to let friend stay at her place if she really felt that uncomfortable?