I Have No Friends | Courtney Ryman | TEDxGeorgetown

[@asha_vere]

"I can go a whole week, and only receive a text from my mom" Damn, I felt that..

[@RaikenXion]

Hello would you like to be my friend? Im lonely, fed up of work, i used to like drawing but my motivation has gone. I need someone to help me :)

[@arifafahmida4045]

@@RaikenXion same.which country do u live?

[@kimliptraumatizedbycocomon2314]

Me too

[@asha_vere]

@@RaikenXion same :/ I'm in America though

[@cappyrage7649]

Hi! Just wanted to say that to you today:)

[@SinainKorea]

It's comforting to hear someone else experiences this. I honestly was beginning to think I was alone. Not having friends can sometimes feel very painful. Thank you for being so brave.

[@africanliving294]

This is crazy but if you want to become friends (even just online ones) I'm totally down.

[@veraivakic]

Thank God i'am not alone too.

[@Mysterynovel49]

Yea it helps to know you're not alone 😌

[@vannessacoonrod397]

You definitely are not alone.

[@JD-og3io]

!!!

[@Wallflowerzizme]

I hate when people say I don’t have friends and they don’t mean it literally. Like I honest to god have NO friends. What a good speech though

[@BeepBoop-z2v]

Same

[@Aethelhadas]

Same

[@datgurlky1]

Exactly

[@bhollins3556]

Only people who have friends are happy enough to even joke about it.

[@jademickey4567]

Same

[@masternobody0]

- Standing alone is better than standing with people who don’t value you. - So it is ok to be alone

[@j.cwalkes5822]

You sure ?😔

[@masternobody0]

@@j.cwalkes5822 Yes i had experience before

[@j.cwalkes5822]

@@masternobody0 I sorry . I felt your pain . I so lonely even the depressed people don't even want me and my biological family ,I was adopted and i only have adopted family a very small group . Anyway i guess people only like to used people for they kindness and what they can get and people say they are not the same as you give everything they leave you like the Siberian desert dry with nothing 😟

[@joseanurkkalainen2832]

but what if i don't want to be alone?

[@masternobody0]

@@joseanurkkalainen2832 Go out and find someone who had similarity with you. Respect and trust each other.

[@danapixelated2277]

I haven't had friends in a decade. Almost everyone has devalued me or abandoned me. Family, friends, whatever. I haven't abandoned myself though. And you shouldn't either. Just because other people can't see your beauty or your true character, doesn't mean you don't have any. Just means they aren't looking hard enough. Stay strong people. Love yourself. Xoxo.

[@Wyebank]

I loved this. You are strong and amazing!

[@kerajordan2934]

I resonate with you..i have had a life time of abandonment and therefore i dont hold much faith in any relationship..the only people i would not give up on even though they physically and mentally abused me were my kids who i build bridges with everyday...but this only happened when i didnt give up on myself so good on you...never give up ❤💜...il be your friend

[@sw01237]

This has happened to me as well. It has been very difficult to come to terms with that since my father died but I'm trying

[@kerajordan2934]

@@sw01237 Honestly dont give up..iv learned there can be something good around the corner..i still struggle with trust in people but iv decided even solo i will make my life complete for myself and no one else i will continue to search for goodness in people and if i get burned again il smile and say goodbye to that toxicity that doesnt serve me anymore because we deserve better x

[@rogue-gal]

danapixelated. Omg 😯. It feels like you wrote my own life....... I’m in exactly same state.

[@AthenaMarriesDionysus]

And then there’s a lot of us who have ‘friends’ who still make you feel alone

[@junkyard-p1s]

Those are really just people you know then. Because they really dont care about you unless you have something they need. Another words you know them ,like who they are. But you dont feel close to them.

[@bulletproofdiamondwinstar9470]

I got you b/c I've experienced it. Most friends are just acquaintances. There isn't even a word for 'acquaintance' in Chinese that I'm aware of, but close Chinese male friends tend to see each other as brothers rather than friends and I guess it's a good way to secure a long-term friendship that could otherwise drift easily. In 'Dora the explorer' movie, Dora said she never really felt lonely by herself but felt lonely in school where she didn't fit in. That really hit me. She did make friends in the end but b/c of a dangerous adventure when the classmates needed each other for survival. Anyway loneliness is not about being around people or not but the quality of relationships and being able to be yourself when you're around others. Some celebs feel lonely.

[@Nashrah422]

I used to have such "friends". Damn relatable.

[@karl92041]

That's how I felt so I deleted my only remaining "social media" - Instagram. I've grown apart from so many people. I could not relate to them, our conversations are never finished, my comments are ignored, I felt alienated. It hurts but I thought it was so awkward to continue to "hang around" that I just deleted my life.haha Imma start over.

[@paria8721]

That's true. My friend makes me the loneliest person in the world with her lack of communication

[@spicymango92]

All of us friendless folk in the comments❤️ I wish we all could get together for tea

[@kotrena]

It reminds me of a Soviet film where Cheburashka offered to build a house for people who search for friends so that they could find friends there. It would be cool if we had something like that IRL

[@Aster_Risk]

@@kotrena Oh, man. If I could I would start something like that.

[@NuSanniang]

😭😭

[@TranceGurl20]

Haha it's so easy to make friends on the internet but difficult in person. How strange huh

[@sandrineguillou3744]

i want tea!!

[@edwardduda4222]

All my "friends" are people who talk to me when they want to, but completely ignore me otherwise.

[@fn4957]

Know your self worth and walk away

[@beckymaggie4606]

I know what you mean

[@israhashim7136]

Same.

[@prayfortheworld7960]

Yeah.They talk to you but when you got a problem everyone just dont care but when their got a problem their come to you😇😇😇😇Its so hurt.

[@unsocialgremlin4834]

Same...

[@maam2542]

I am 61 and I have never had a best friend or friends in general. I have learned to accept this is just me. I am complete, I am fulfilled.

[@rollerbladinggeek5507]

Kay we are a social species, you can't deny genetics hon u would be happier with friends no matter how much u trick yourself otherwise

[@rollerbladinggeek5507]

SuTen exactly

[@peacegoddess5]

i love not having friends lol

[@rollerbladinggeek5507]

Peace Goddess I guarantee you have friends. If not I'll give u a million dollars. I'm the confident you're lying.

[@rollerbladinggeek5507]

Peace Goddess .... silence...

[@jessyjulie5506]

It's so embarrassing to admit I dont have friends. I usually just lie about it.

[@bobo-kj6od]

Me too.

[@Wristreveal]

Me too.

[@hmpz36911]

I'm such an introvert that it takes me years to notice when I don't have friends 😅

[@TehKitteh01]

I used to be embarrassed about it but now, I laugh about it. I mean, sure, it's lonely sometimes but it also means I don't have to worry about back stabbing, rumors and ultimately feeling worthless when a friend walks out on me. It means I don't have to say "yes" to plans then feel guilty when at the last minute, I decide I don't want to go (thanks, social anxiety). I think I am a decent person and if that isn't reason enough for people to be friends with me, then their loss. I'm a loner...and it is what it is.

[@Aethelhadas]

@totallylooneytunes those are bad kind of companionship. i'd rather not to call them 'friends'

[@tiffanyroth1066]

My friends are only my "friends" when it's convenient for them. ... I have no friends

[@tiffanyroth1066]

lol same.

[@tachanka1283]

Sungod_Da_Don I’m just used for weed or money or my ID lmao, I haven’t hung out with anyone besides mooches that just want my weed in over a year, I get left on read from them when I ask to hangout but as soon as they’re out of weed guess who’s their favorite buddy!

[@brahmabkitty03]

Going through this now. I feel abandoned by everybody until they need something but I'm the one with no parents or siblings. Who's going to do something for me?

[@lifewithmandy5220]

Precisely why I dont have friends. I'd rather be friendless than deal with unreliable friends.

[@jessykapop]

That’s so true . I never get calls or texts from them. Just once in a while :(

[@sarahbitar1472]

It just hurts me watching all my instagram "friends" go out everyday and have the time of their life with different group of friends while I sit at home eveyday contemplating my existence. I just feel so lonely it kills me :(

[@funnymemos3056]

I too am a loner. I put on a great show when people are around but I don’t have the energy for friendship. I have a ton of people I talk to on most days but they aren’t friends

[@craigsmith1365]

You are beautiful, believe it,it's true!

[@KAHHHH8548]

I'm so sorry. I know how you feel

[@piperwright7358]

aha! this! always happens to me. after exams, all my classmates go out, and post on their stories and i just sit at home. on top of that, my mom yells at me. for not having friends. WHAT DO I DO

[@starzintheskyz4477]

You're not alone girl

[@jingyizhang1772]

Same.....this is my final semester at college. I have made zero true friends for the past four years.

[@TheAmyShows]

I’m going through the exact same thing, last semester and have made no friends, it can feel so humiliating at times

[@rimasaba]

I’m only in second year but I haven’t made any yet either . I’ve met a lot of decent people and have conversations although have never furthered relationships outside of the classroom :/

[@saraviramontes9130]

I can relate to this so hard. Sometimes I think there is something wrong with me. This honestly has made me feel less bad about myself knowing there are other people that feel the same way I do

[@BrainsaBirdsNest]

Join a club.

[@ilovenycsomuch]

SAAAMMMEE lmfao

[@susieklein7461]

I have no friends at age 52. We have moved a lot due to my husband’s job and I have been completely friendless for the past seven years. I can talk to anyone. I am open, friendly and lots of fun. My kids are grown, so I don’t even have casual, playground mom-friends. When I reach out to people I get the typical, “omg, we totally SHOULD get together...” getting someone to actually commit to a coffee date seems like pulling teeth. Sigh... everyone is busy and their cliques established. Creating a new circle is really hard.

[@sumego4180]

You don’t have what she is talking about. People will become a friend to you.

[@susieklein7461]

Sum Ego -7 years have gone by and still no friend in sight...

[@blondie2998]

Susie Klein hey I don’t know where you live but lots of areas have Facebook groups or other online communities where maybe you could find a friend! and if not I’ll be your friend (:

[@susieklein7461]

Nora Markham you are extremely kind! The world is a better place for having you in it!❤️

[@caracalfashions6435]

I can so relate to you. I'm 53, a single mother and pretty much friendless. I'm at the point where I wouldn't be bothered trying to make friends. Yes everyones cliques are established. I used to go to church and found most people cliquey and couldn't break through the cliques. I then joined a church with alot of poor people but still didn't fit in. Everyone assumed I was a snob which is so not true. I can't win. I've given up.

[@lasagnas6404]

She feels like the person I'd like to be friends with

[@rrraynoorrr]

@Ladies Entertainment Parlour That's a great idea

[@keylimepie8426]

Me too

[@keylimepie8426]

@Ladies Entertainment Parlour I want to be friends.

[@saransundaram2603]

She is like the one girl at school who judges people by their character and not looks

[@marygraceberon8690]

Same here, momoring. I don't have friends too.

[@jroberts7387]

When she said he could go a whole week and only get a text from her mom, I felt that. I'm in the same situation.

[@papercut1471]

jroberts7387 :(

[@Isabella-fn3tf]

Damm, I can't even get my family's messages through the week. Most of the time is me who starts conversations...

[@janenjeri8847]

I felt that to

[@radicalmama135]

ditto

[@NAZGULLAK]

No1 is texting me. Even family.

[@swaggylanoil250]

When you're in a friend group and they have a separate group chat to make plans without you

[@nenonxo1951]

Shadow Monster 😢 i’m in this situation

[@tayamiranda]

i left a groupchat recently with 30+ people who continuously had parties and nobody cared to invite me. there's no point trying to seek approval with people who have no interest. drop them.

[@ppzxz9339]

Yeah;(

[@DarkWandererAU]

ouch, that is really rough. What you have to realise though, is the fact that they do something like that, means that they see you as something "less than" the rest of them. You're better than that. Drop these turds like radioactive waste and find people who treat you like a person. I recommended doing an interest of yours in public to meet like-minded people then taking it from there. I joined a Martial Arts gym, and after sorting through the assholes I made a friend.

[@Matevoz72]

Used to have to deal with that till they ditched me

[@thenameless2379]

I literally have no friends...I'm not kidding. However I feel at peace being alone. Everytime I tried to make a friend I was rejected. I don't know why, it used to hurt, but now I'm happy about it. No friends means no suffering, no betrayal just peace.

[@oreodoesit]

Felt that

[@qkai7796]

That’s true, well I sometimes wish to talk to someone but I have become more independent when I don’t

[@keylimepie8426]

I agree. I also, have no friends.

[@barbarastrayhorn4667]

Go visit someone in a nursing home. A lot of these people have no friends either but they usually have a lot of stories to tell.

[@davidthomas9947]

I feel the same way. In this day and age, people just aren't normal and right in the head. People are quick to use you, lie, backstab you, etc. There are some decent people out here but it's very rare.

[@MzBabsie]

It makes me sad to see all of us who don't have friends, especially those of us who wish we did. I'll be your friend

[@denisedouglas]

Leslie Wray Doyle hello friend 🙂👍🏽

[@MzBabsie]

@@denisedouglas Hi Denise! I hope you're having a wonderful day 🌞

[@denisedouglas]

Leslie Wray Doyle aww thank you Leslie as a matter of fact I am & hope you’re having a wonderful day too 🙂

[@rajasohaibabdurrehman5509]

Alright let's be friends!

[@acdc2961]

Hi, lets be friends

[@SchibbiSchibbi]

She's so authentic and genuine. You can feel it listening to her.

[@peggyroberts4955]

She amazes me. How she is able to get up and speak so candidly about her illness. And she's such a great speaker. This had to be so hard for her.

[@lynnmarieanderson1744]

I think the whole term of so called mental illness should just be abolished!!!! It sets people back. People are not labels.

[@peggyroberts4955]

Lynn Marie Anderson I completely agree!

[@sandhyavijapurkar3567]

@@lynnmarieanderson1744 I was saved only because I was able to put a label on my mental illness

[@osaniss]

@@lynnmarieanderson1744 if they have a mental illness should it just be ignored then? 🤦‍♀️

[@pinkpink-kb6dl]

@@lynnmarieanderson1744 the term of so called physical illnesses should be abolished! Labels hold people back! Diabetic? No way!!!

[@f.r.etling]

All of these comments make me feel like I’m not alone. Us friendless people need to have each other’s backs.

[@whitenights4524]

So true.

[@datgurlky1]

Right we need to become friends.

[@its.nice2b_nice]

@@datgurlky1 🙋🏻‍♀️ *waving a Florida hello* 🌴🌻

[@datgurlky1]

@@its.nice2b_nice 😊 Hello from Michigan. It's 37 degrees Fahrenheit here. Don't you dare tell me the temperature there. Lol

[@its.nice2b_nice]

@dangboof *I hoñestly am aloñe, añd very loñely, living with chroñic paiñ, ño friends, ño life just paiñ, makes this a real, sad useless existence, there's only 1 subscriber oñ my page, I don't kno who it is,that's not a friend cuz they neva said hello, don't kno hw to delete it*

[@davidefacchini1005]

Who, like me, is searching on the internet these things just to desperately find something to relate to?

[@whitenights4524]

Well internet is the best friend of the lonely people. We would be doomed without it..

[@IB-ow3gt]

Yep

[@nerdypeachmango]

Yes. 😩

[@postitdude1]

@@whitenights4524 Books were the original friends of lonely people!

[@Bob-ej1er]

Definitely. Everyone wants to feel seen and understood. I think that's why a lot of people connect with the musical Dear Evan Hansen because everyone experiences loneliness to some capacity. If you want to chat in the future, I'd be up for exchanging emails/snap.

[@patriciaharris2844]

Truth be told... If a person has 5 real friends in their whole lifetime, they should consider their self rich.

[@nanscottdesignstudio]

Love this. I remember times when I had close friends and miss those times, but it's okay to be where I am.

[@jonajoseph5891]

@@nanscottdesignstudio it's so true, when i had good friends who were there to support and help me, and have fun with me, i just took it for granted and thought that making friends was an easy job and all you need to do was be good and helpful; but little did i know, how cruel and unfriendly people could be when I moved to a new place. I miss those times

[@xadien4058]

yup, whence i was in kidergarden i made so many innocent friends i wonder if i can call them real friends knowing they changed with this world,,, HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH muahahahahahahhaahahhhahahahahahah

[@marilynmerod553]

My mom said if you had 1 true friend... you were lucky

[@she_wizzdom4410]

Gosh if I had 5 whole friends, I would ..

[@Guitargasm1000]

I gave up on friends. People are too wrapped up in their own lives. Social media is distorting reality. To all of you... You're a rockstar in this world too! Don't ever feel bad for oversights of your value when it comes to others. I got away from farcebook.. Etc.... You should. Be well

[@Guitargasm1000]

✌✌

[@rielleh5905]

I agree👏🏼

[@skingerskanger]

You said it

[@TheArtkaw]

Using Facebook or Instagram of whatever is just a scapegoat on your antisocial behavior.

[@Aster_Risk]

@@TheArtkaw The truth is somewhere in the middle. The behaviors and the social media feed one another. Also, being antisocial is hard for people. It's not necessarily about blame.

[@JayNa886]

I rather be alone than having friends who take advantage from me.

[@pinky9440]

Or friends that are just missing in action when you need them.... we all know those ones.

[@michaeladams6154]

Had friends get revealed as both these types last year

[@llordmakisigsantiago7098]

That is not a friend

[@angieskidney]

Exactly! Yes I had been taken advantage of a few times...

[@llordmakisigsantiago7098]

the only friend i got its Jewel the smart person in our class then me we talk about strange disturbing facts that i rather not mention

[@abernathymonsoon4638]

Thank you for sharing a very private part of your life, so we may learn. That took guts.

[@davemwangi05]

Forgive me for laughing at your statement, "... sharing a very private part..." Aaahahahahahahaaa.

[@davemwangi05]

@mary sunshine You did what? You Farted?

[@davemwangi05]

@mary sunshine oh sorry, sorry, sorry. That's so shameful of me. I will have to stop taking these methamphetamines. I'm going crazy.

[@BlackLabelSlushie]

Abernathy Monsoon You should see my home videos

[@f.u.c8308]

Especially because people use “you have no friends” as an insult.

[@kristinalowe8627]

I enjoy being alone. I don’t have to deal with other people’s drama. I have my pets, my hobbies and my goals. I make no apologies to anyone. God bless all of you folks who feel badly about having no friends; be a friend to yourself! 😘❤️🌸

[@BerilK846]

Same here! Unless they are happy and aligned, they just get triggered by whatever I do.

[@professorwoland3181]

I have no friends either, but am not lonely, so it’s okay. The friends I’ve had in the past always made me feel like I was truly alone

[@eifionphillips3004]

It's funny how people can make you feel worse than being alone.

[@manvi1103]

My friends in past left me like nothing and I felt that they are my life. Every thing was perfect when we were together but after the school they didn't even cared if I'm living or dying.

[@eifionphillips3004]

@@manvi1103 Happened to me, some people are just users and want the popularity and someone to entertain them instead of actually caring about people themselves. A lot of people have Asperger's syndrome and these are the people who don't call much and can't be there for you emotionally, why? because they mentally can't understand what the other person goes through by putting themselves in your shoes, they lack sensitivity and compassion and never say sorry, i know because i know too many with this condition. I don't have friends with Aspergers anymore as they are so negative and always moan and slag people off and they bring me down!

[@pranaykohli5205]

@@manvi1103 same with me

[@manvi1103]

@@eifionphillips3004 hmm but still surprisingly life was going beautifully with them 😢

[@biljam972]

I am hypochondriac, have depression and anxiety and I think I am very unlikable as I am asocial person, introvert and have no idea how to deal with people. This is why I have no friends at all. I literally don't know how to small talk, and even few minutes of talking to someone exhausts me so much I need to escape. That is seen as sign of "unfriendly" person, so they all avoid me. I sometimes think people hate me because they can see I am not normal and they are afraid or repulsed by that.

[@TheAmyShows]

Biljana Malesevic same

[@teodoraghioc3106]

maybe your hypochondria makes you think you have depression an anxiety (jk) Hope you overcome everything. Despite everything crazy happening right now in this world, life is too precious. You are not unlikeable, you try to conmect to the wrong people. Been there. Sending happy thoughts.

[@biljam972]

@@teodoraghioc3106 thank you, that is possible. At this point I am not sure what causes what. I am just so tired.

[@gothicshawty5676]

I’ve never read something so honest and true. I experience the same thing. I also feel like people hate me because I cannot stand small talk and I am very antisocial. It’s weird how similar this post of yours is to me. I also am a hypochondriac and very anxious. I think too much, I think people can sense that.

[@biljam972]

@@gothicshawty5676 thanl you for nice words. It's hard to understand people like us. I am still not able to manage relationships with people and it gets harder to try with years going by.

[@50shekels]

“I am a good person, and a good friend” I don’t care if I’m gonna go through the rest of my life without anyone even batting an eye in my direction, but I know I am those two things

[@RudeJudy]

Same.

[@Fleepage]

Same

[@junkyard-p1s]

At least you know who you are ,and you accept it. Some people don't know who they are, and continue to hang around toxic people who they think are their friends.

[@7minutesago4yearsago29]

I'm glad I'm at least one of those things

[@enbi5440]

I want to be that kind of person.

[@Cayceelizabeth]

Im 28 and have literally 0 friends except my animals. Society makes it hard for good genuine people now days

[@matt1580]

Lol I’m 29 and I feel ya

[@justvlogging9155]

Hey everyone i really want to connect with you all

[@Cdub31]

Tons people feel self absorbed. I don’t understand people at times. In the end you really all you got .

[@laurafernanda5323]

I feel you

[@CUSELİSFAN]

ergo the profile photo! :)

[@johnnymaldonado983]

I have no close friends. Just acquaintances 😭

[@rollerbladinggeek5507]

Johnny Maldonado then you're exaggerating? That's friendships

[@otterwhitewaterider7812]

I totally get it. There is a huge difference between acquaintances and friends.

[@rollerbladinggeek5507]

Otter Whitewaterider But isn't that everyone? It's better than nothing, and completely different to someone who has no one.

[@rollerbladinggeek5507]

@@John_Halo so what's the solution? Join a club, make friends at the gym or at work or at the shops.

[@isaacdiaz3221]

Same, I know some people but I couldn't take them as my "friends". But well, friendship started going to be an awful concept for me.

[@thomas-5417]

I’m a teenage boy. Right now is the time I should be hanging out with my friends, skipping curfew, going on dates, doing illegal things, whatever. Instead, my best friend is my little sister, I spend time reading and playing the Sims, I’ve never dated anyone, and thinking deeply about whatever I want. Sometimes I’ve wished I was different, and that I could give up my introverted ways, but I prefer myself the way I am.

[@Rynntastic01]

It's actually one of my long term goals to form a strong friend group 😎😎😎

[@varietyyachtsvessels6769]

Glad your not doing illegal things.

[@Tier100]

join a sports club, do something where you can compete with other men, trust me it helps fighting lonliness

[@Tier100]

@Rafee Kazi you should always show respect to your competitors

[@foloeel]

Friends come and go, your sister will always be there.

[@mimiham6194]

I can make friends easily. After getting to know them, which can take a few weeks to a few years, I find it hard to maintain the friendship and I usually don’t. I would rather be alone than put up with drama or narcissism. I’m a great listener, very generous, always ask how they are doing or remember what our last conversation was so I can ask about them in a caring way. I rarely get that in return. It doesn’t make me mad, I just lose interest in the friendship. I’m so glad I have a hobby of quilting that keeps me busy and content.

[@kenishahammond3935]

I absolutely can relate to you on that. I've spent much of my time uplifting others and all I got i return are back stabbers. It hurt me but I got over it and started protecting my energy.

[@denamullen340]

Mimi Ham Same here. I tend to feel like they don’t really want to actually hang out after an awesome connection and good conversation, days go by and it’s the end because of whatever reasons. I can’t bother with it anymore, I learned I need to be my own very best friend for awhile and focus on me and my family. Honestly that takes enough time. I’d enjoy a best friend that just understands me and my ways and could get together a couple times a month, that be awesome.

[@junkyard-p1s]

At least the quilt can't hurt you ,or cheat on you.

[@junkyard-p1s]

@@kenishahammond3935 Me too. I finally decided to think of myself. Lift weights, maintain a healthy diet, and I'm also money ahead. No drama,insults ,arguing.

[@junkyard-p1s]

@Katherine Alexandra Same here,and they only communicate when they want something.

[@gessrinky9129]

I realized I had no friends when the people whom I considered friends didn’t invite me to their weddings or life events. Learned I misinterpreted many relationships in life for a long time. It’s humiliating.

[@teetawn9454]

sorry, hope it gets better someday,

[@lainoh9578]

I've always been a lonesome soul. I found that while I desired for close intimate relationships, someone to call a best friend or a soulmate, I actually thrive when I'm alone. I've had friends throughout the years but eventually they fade into oblivion because they move on and I move on and it's like we never crossed paths. But I am completely comfortable with my lonesomeness. I don't crave human interaction in a way that most people do. I interact with others daily in my job but in the privacy of my home, I am completely alone. I like it that way. I don't think I would be changing any time soon.

[@sophrosynemind]

ahh.. I absolutely relate to that entire history and present situation of yours.... i remember even with friends I used to pull back for a week or two... to restore my peace... they knew that I needed my me time. back when I used to have a huge bunch... mostly coz I was a student... Now I am a freelance writer... all my work is online... and guess my friends too... people from other countries... Netizens... with whom I have good conversations and maybe video calls once in a while... all the connection I need. And knowing them I can say... we are a huge number.... People who can't be bothered to make friends, or date, marry or have children, because we don't see the need for it. Instead we use our time to do things that make us happy and have each other to take comfort in.

[@ohhemmgeeitsjenna]

I feel the exact same way. The human interactions i experience in my my job is more than enough for me.

[@carboz959]

I think there is something in our DNA that biologically pushes us to interact with other people. And when a person fights this group mentality or gestalt mind set, some form of pain results. I'd rather experience that pain rather than be something I am not.

[@susanwatson8691]

Lain oh I recognise your life. I am just like you. Thank you for your honesty.

[@Nat0528]

This is me spot on! Like I like people, and i enjoy the fleeting laughter and moments shared! But beyond anything else... I enjoy my own company best!

[@danieloleary1129]

I'm 70 years old and my "friends" are my myriad of Doctors I see, the only people I see. My GP, Specialists, technicians etc. At times I'm so lonely I want to swallow a handful of pills. I have nothing to live for and feel useless and think "who would cry for me if (when) I die?" The true answer is NO ONE. The world would go on as if I never ever existed. Most nights I lay awake in bed wishing I could just stop breathing. It's said that suicide is the coward's way out but to my thinking you need a huge amount of courage to even approach that precipice.. Thank You for taking the time to read this comment.

[@danieloleary1129]

@Tiffany's Piece of Cake Thank You Tiffany. Do you really want to befriend a 70 year old Canadian man? I'll afraid I'll be too much of a burden. BTW I know the Internet can be a scary dangerous place but I am who I appear to be. I'm even afraid of you. Actually my best friend is my cat,

[@e.falcon6732]

Hi Daniel - Your honesty took courage as well. Thank you for sharing. So I second Tiffany in another offer of friendship.

[@lynnmarieanderson1744]

I felt so sad reading your comment. Please don't give up on life and don't give up on people entirely. Maybe the way your feeling means you need to do something differently, like try to find some type of activity where you can meet people of a variety of ages, maybe joining a book discussion group at a library??? I have problems with severe depression myself, what gets me out of my shell is I like to sing and sometimes I go to a local bar on the weekend and do karaoke. It's just fun!!! I truly wish you the best.

[@CandidatePay]

You can do this! If we can survive Canadian cold, we can build and join a community again :)

[@whizz8871]

Daniel, you must reach out and take courage to do whatever it takes to not feel bad, aka do whatever it takes to make you feel good

[@MicheleHerrmann]

Same. I know many people and suggest getting together with them. Never happens. I go out of my way to help others, without any expectations, but don't get the same in return.

[@bitcoinski]

Same with moi. My friends always needing someone to play the ROBIN role....never again...I'd rather be alone...as depressing as this may be...fml...

[@mathematicalninja2756]

Better live alone than pleasing those ungrateful existences lmao

[@shanmarwein6288]

Same here.

[@courtneyhenley681]

same here. plus people tend to betray me in major ways

[@avag1334]

Awh me too :( sounds arrogant but often times I wish I could be my own friend

[@matthewtzou7095]

It’s so unbelievably difficult to live without friends in today’s society. For me, most “friends” I make end up just using me and leaving me in the worst ways possible, and some people I truly befriend are put off by how I have no friends and that they wouldn’t view me the same way after. Nowadays I just kind of adopt to living with no friends instead of dealing with drama. It’s pretty dang powerful how she has the confidence to talk about this to the Internet, since this is a problem that is truly hard to admit for people with no friends.

[@matthewtzou7095]

@marthias lim Thank you for those words! I’m grateful to have a very good relationship with my family, though now as a college student and with corona, I haven’t been able to spend much time with them. I feel that with corona it’s becoming increasingly difficult to face the fact that I may be spending future holidays or special events by myself, though I try to learn to enjoy life on my own.

[@Matevoz72]

I always feel like I'm the only one without friends till I search up these videos. It's impossible to tell who doesn't have friends cause no one will admit it. Glad I can relate to these comments.

[@katakouzina]

the majority of the ppl dont have friends

[@jesuschrist1817]

I don't I just know random people

[@swetajh9008]

I had no friends for 21 years yes! And I'm 22. But since a year I started only thinking about my self care. I exercised, meditated, prayed everyday, read good books, worked hard for my goals and smiled more and more even without cause and started to be unnecessarily nicer to everyone. Things change guys! Life gets better! I felt like giving up for so long still sometimes negativity tries to get the best of me. But I will not stop. I want my mind under my control. So love yourself and work on yourself. True friends will eventually come.. and friends could be anyone. ❤ Please keep smiling. Your smile is so cute. 😊

[@pranaykohli5205]

Thanks sweta you feel me happy.

[@brendajohnston3236]

Thanks.

[@sofijasmiljanic3698]

Can i find you on facebook? I'm 20 and i feel the same😊

[@pranaykohli5205]

@@sofijasmiljanic3698 I am facebook . Will you be my friend

[@sofijasmiljanic3698]

@@pranaykohli5205 yes

[@damianmicky]

"i am a good person, i am worthy of friends" this has been my plea to the universe since time immemorable.

[@solomontraore4366]

You're not alone bro.

[@elianab1794]

I have friends, but friends who see me as the second choice. I feel so alone because nobody cares.

[@YasminMahnaz]

Be the smartest in your class.. and keep moving towards your goals..e.g best organized.. read more books.. instead vocabulary.. learn French online etc... eventually you will study in other colleges, university's and meet other ppl that you can relate to.

[@UNLIMITED-DAN]

Yea I hate the 2nd choice thing in a way. Infact, most of the time I'm the Last Choice, Last to be Picked in a event/trip/team activity. Last to be picked whenever I play any sport related game... And I'm not bad at sports (Except for Football because I'm a horrible goal keeper, I'm better as a midfielder). They probably just pick me last because I don't say much.

[@xannaxjah8866]

@youtuby girl omg same

[@UNLIMITED-DAN]

2nd choice is meh. Last Choice is where the pain is at.

[@NiceOCGuy1981]

@@UNLIMITED-DAN and when you do say something, they get defensive, like "how dare you speak out place" So I just keep quiet, if I get picked last or not at all I don't say anything. I've learned to accept where I stand. I hope at times the friends I do have, slowly forget about me. I can then just focus on me.

[@cherrybomb2600]

My cat is my best friend. She gives me more joy, comfort, & affection than my human friends.

[@Nagolobo2023]

Same here. I know some people, but no one is really my friend. At least that’s how I feel My best friend is my dog.

[@pippipster6767]

@L Tchort Pets are loving and non-judgemental. And of course you can’t get into an argument with them. But, wise? Emmm …

[@vaalarivan_p]

But unfortunately I have cat allergies:(

[@haleynic]

My two orange tabbies are my best friend and I don't know what I would do without them. I love them.

[@katesomething1701]

Yes I have Bren there but mine was a dog. She gave me her whole heart and did ALL tbe signs of doggie love. Devoted pets are a great blessings for lonely hearts aren’t tbey?

[@gloriasilva09]

I have no true friends either. My world revolves around my children. I'm a single parent. I feel, I've lost myself along the way. I even have trouble dating. Gosh, I've never spoken this out literally. I pray things change for me this year and find a good fitting mentor. Thank you for sharing.

[@BeeChance]

I feel the same way you do. I'm a single parent and only have one friend from my childhood. It's hard to make friends as you get older. My life revolves around my children. However, they will go to college one day and I'll be alone. I pray to God that He brings Christian people in my life so that can have meaningful friendships. I'd also like to remarry one day, but don't have the desire to date now because I'm focused on my children. I trust God and He knows what I need.

[@gloriasilva09]

@@BeeChance, thank you! Praying it all goes well for you and your heart desires.

[@Dr.Achuth_india]

find your virtues and abilities and passions and dreams ...... those children that don't hv parents wish they had parents;some children with abusive parents wish if they never had one........same applies for dating,1in 562 will be your perfect match, science has shown..... . Parenting is a job from which we all must retire early on,only then our children will be able to learn to be strong on their own .........we must pursue our own passions and dreams,.. children will find their ways on their own,it's our duty to instill in them compassion,and kindness,and wisdom, strength,for their journey is far different from ours. WATCH ECKART TOLLE VIDEO,IT WILL HELP A LOT....and Stoic philosophy stuff. Online courses help women a lot in training in dating...... That's my opinion.choose as you may........thank you....be happy

[@gloriasilva09]

@@Dr.Achuth_india, thank you! Appreciate your kind words.

[@Dr.Achuth_india]

On Children Kahlil Gibran Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

[@jazzy-jx7216]

This was recommended me. How did youtube know?

[@sueg2658]

KZbin tracks EVERYTHING you look at. Then they run an algorithm on stats collected to determine your interests.

[@dinasimone9815]

I personally believe they made thats choice for me because i watch a lot of Dr.Who 😭

[@Bernie3000]

Jazzy-J X I’d be your friend!

[@mariahsanchez8882]

Right? KZbin is like “surely she has no friends with how many KZbin videos she watches”

[@nozecone]

I'm expecting the next video they recommend to be entitled "You Have no Friends".

[@ia-yq4hv]

I haven’t had a close friend since middle school and I’ve felt so lonely for so long. It gets painful sometimes and has given me a bad habit of overthinking. But tomorrow is my first day going to college in person and not online. I’m going to try my best to be confident, put myself out there, and make friends. Please cheer me on! 💖

[@tom4412]

Hey how was college

[@ImranKhan-tj3dr]

You are well come 👫👫💗💗🌹🌹 I m alone I like best friend

[@dredreidel]

She's a really good speaker.

[@veeneemaas]

Indeed

[@labotraduc8448]

There's no way I could ever have spoken like her at her age.... not even today!

[@cardiacmyxoma4073]

I’m in my third year of college and I have no friends either. I made friends in first year but they’re not true friends; they’re only concerned with themselves. And as a premed student, I found that my grades increased when I stopped hanging out with those people. Hence why I have no friends. I enjoy the peace of mind.

[@buffycatnip]

i made "friends" in college but once we graduated, we never talked or hung out again

[@whitenights4524]

@@buffycatnip same

[@rejectedpandabear9322]

I thought I was alone :( only know people for one semester and then they are gone.

[@RaikenXion]

Id like to be your friend i would keep in touch, let me tell you one thing about myself i have a binge drinking problem which im trying to get sorted, every weekend i just binge. Im feeling alittle bit of anxiety even right now because of it.

[@Goblin_Ghost39]

This comment section and video are such a comfort. I don't have friends. I've had them in the past, but depression and anxiety has made it difficult to keep them or to make new ones. Honestly, unless it's going to result in a meaningful connection, I just don't have the energy to put into people. I'm incredibly lucky that I have a wonderful fiancé. But that doesn't stop me from being lonely sometimes. I feel so out of place every time I step onto my college campus that I can't help but think something is seriously wrong with me.

[@davidthomas9947]

Nothing is seriously wrong with you if you want a meaningful connection with somebody.

[@sarashafiei6378]

Thanks for making it clear that 'having no friends" could be a conscious and crucial decision in the healing process of many mental health issues. This talk is so brave and honest.

[@Karlakarz]

I have no friends either. Even if I “try” to make friends, idk what to do. I have become so accustomed to being alone. The only txts I receive are from my mother or brother.

[@datgurlky1]

Same here. Mom, sis, bro, niece. Those are the people I message, but I'm thankful because not everyone has good relationships with their siblings or parents. I learned to appreciate that those are healthy friendships. Some people have literally no one.

[@cosmic-brownies]

Can we be friends?

[@ashlee2970]

Same thing. I’m 24 about to be 25 and I only receive texts from my mother. I’m afraid of what I’m going to do when my parents pass away.

[@BlindFlowMC]

Well it’s nice since you’re not completely alone at least. Most of my family never seemed to like me. And we barely even speak at all.

[@teetawn9454]

It's true. U feel u dont know what to do when u try to make friends/ or are actually around someone others, when u spend so much time alone.

[@kenishahammond3935]

I have no friends and feel so free. I now can focus on myself and manifest the things I want. If you love the person your with which is yourself, then you can never be alone.

[@veronicanicholls7132]

I have learned to live without friends and I am happy Some people are meant to be alone. Once you accept that you will be free to enjoy life.

[@oppressednolonger1497]

manifest?

[@GoldArmored]

Animals. The best friends you can have.

[@rollerbladinggeek5507]

This would appear to be very much true

[@rollerbladinggeek5507]

as long as you have food for them

[@cherrybomb2600]

@@rollerbladinggeek5507 And $$$ for vet, teeth cleaning, grooming, ect. Adoption is for life. The joy & comfort they give is priceless.

[@paolaa3702]

they’re not judgmental. they don’t care they love you unconditionally

[@rollerbladinggeek5507]

@@cherrybomb2600 but you need that money in order to afford that price

[@abigailhutchinson5487]

i have “friends” but they never text me or ask to hangout. i always text first and carry on the entire conversation. i’m the one who has to arrange plans. i hate it

[@yumi8928]

exactly me. i have to invite them to hangout first all the time or else we won't meet up. it sucks so much.

[@c-train3630]

I had a friend and she came to my house quite a bit but she never invited me to her house or wanted to celebrate her b-day with me.

[@davidthomas9947]

I would get away from them as fast as you can. If you don't, you will keep getting used.

[@havannah5173]

i asked my two "friends" if they wanted to hang out during the weekend and they said "sure." next thing i know they went on a road trip to california without even telling me about it that same weekend.

[@rashelm.32]

baby jimin I have asked my “friend” to hang out several times. We’ve never even hung out before but known each other for years. This girl STRAIGHT UP told me she doesn’t wanna hang out with me, yet weeks later it’s still me for some reason who receives her 30 texts a day even tho I’ve made it clear “do not speak to me anymore.”

[@KurtRWarner]

I can relate to having no friends. No one calls me, I don't get any invites. I have had to go through this for many years...and it hurts.

[@rollerbladinggeek5507]

Kurt R. Warner I'm sure you have a few friends.

[@varietyyachtsvessels6769]

Kurt, join a club or organization where you can meet like-minded individuals. Give it some time and don't come across as desperate. Have pride in your appearance every time you go out into public places. Good luck!

[@Bob-ej1er]

"It's a lonely world full of people who are afraid to make the first move" @ the film green book. If someone wants something, its up to them to actively peruse it (I.e. initiating conversations, try friending apps Bumble BFF, etc.). It isn't easy making friends, but if you keep at it someone is bound to stick. I'd be up for exchanging emails/snap or something, if you want to talk.

[@rollerbladinggeek5507]

@@Bob-ej1er only people with no experience in this topic would say something like you just said. It isn't that simple. If it were, no one would be lonely in the first place.

[@Bob-ej1er]

@@rollerbladinggeek5507I said that because for a long time I would rarely initiate anything. I expected if someone wanted to talk to me, they would just approach me. Passively waiting didn't really get me anywhere. I may not have gotten the results I wanted yet, but at least I can be proud of myself for trying to take some control of my life. However I apparently have no experience in this topic, so don't listen to me.

[@MelanieSakowski]

PPPPREAAACH!!!!! Courtney, you are a beautiful human being, and I'm so grateful that you shared this. I also struggle with anxiety and depression, self-isolating when connection is what I desperately seek. I am observing compassionately, the shame I've created around my mental health, and want to let go. Bless you big time

[@Dr.Achuth_india]

U can let it go it with exposure therapy...expose to your fears more and more,......face them and you burn those demons bit by bit,it's like going to gym,,.......Watch ECKART TOLLE video ON FEAR... IT Will help you....... sufferings are the greatest spiritual teachers ,let's learn then shall we...God bless

[@francisca4478]

Self-isolating is so me

[@RubyGranger8]

This is incredible -- so intensely raw, heartfelt and brave.

[@kepppingupwhittheandersson]

Absolutely beautiful

[@maryjulius925]

It really relieving that someone do feel the way I do and I am just Normal. I do feel crazy that noone could ever relate to all the emotions and thoughts i feel inside of me, and no one seems to ever understand. Now its so relaxing that someone felt and do have my experiences

[@helenalford2831]

As someone else said, this talk took guts. I've changed my thinking on this; I used to be surrounded by people all the time, I had a very busy social life with lots of partying - how many of those people could I really count on as friends? In the end, after all those years, only one. When you are talking about friends, you are setting the bar high and talking about 'meaningful connections'; most people who seem to have a lot of friends still feel isolated because the relationships often don't run deep. This talk really made me think about the inner lives of others. We live in a society where a sense of isolation is very common (almost the norm), even though we are told we are all more connected and social media accounts show thousands of friends.

[@robostripez]

I can unequivocally say I have zero friends nor have I had any real friends. I am 23 years old never once have I been deliberately invited by myself to hangout with someone just me and them nobody around. I feel failed as a human being and don’t understand where I went wrong and how to fix this. Not like any one on a random video cares but it feels Good just typing these words into the universe.

[@KTR2022]

I understand you. I ask the same questions myself.

[@erinnlynn7]

I feel the same way, I’m 22 and I’ve never been over to a friend’s house and I really just feel completely useless in social interactions.

[@niallquinn9128]

Be the flame, not the moth.

[@NitaJain]

You're in good company, Ben. Over a decade's worth of poor health (the last 5 being life-threatening) has left me friendless at 26, too. I don't think you've failed at all and your experience is more universal than you think

[@boudidouboudi3891]

Did you ever get diagnosed. I don't mean it in a stigmatising way. Until thirty, I always thought that relationships were desperately hard and turns out, I was indeed different. It feels good to know it comes from somewhere. I was advised to read and apply how to win friends and influence people by dale carnegie but I d rather be alone than feel like a marketing agency when I leave a room. Even surrounded by people with various mental illnesses, I feel in my bubble.

[@C-Martinez-yb9tz]

Having no friends feels crazy so alone and unwanted.

[@Bob-ej1er]

I know it might be hard to believe right now, but just know that there are people out there who want/care about you. You just have to let them get to know the real you. If you want talk sometime, I'd be up for exchanging contact info (emails/snap). Maybe we can become pen-pals or something.

[@davidthomas9947]

It feels refreshing and liberating to me. I have more peace of mind and I can focus on me and my needs. I don't need "friends" to validate my self worth.

[@mathematicalninja2756]

That’s what happens when you live for others acceptance

[@elizabethlind9947]

It's depressing.

[@nelzelpher2088]

How do you acquire friends.

[@dear-pixel-heart]

Crying. Thank you so much for this talk. I needed it. You're amazing. Being friendless is so challenging. My case is due to severe traumas I've experienced (I have complex PTSD), & mental illness too. Thank you for letting me and others know that we are not alone, & for being inspiring. Wishing you nothing but the very best experiences and company in life. You are worthy, and I'm so glad you said it.

[@breadoflife7775]

Can I be your friend? Without any other intentions:) just friends, And it's totally fine if you don't want to

[@nicolemallmann3240]

“I abandoned the people who did not abandon me”

[@thegr8keone]

Very deep.

[@JohnAnderson-kl9pl]

AA has sponsors, people who will step up when you're troubled and about to have a drink. Why isn't there any organizations that will be there when you are lonely? Lonely people getting together when loneliness gets overwhelming.

[@yanzi8543]

It might help but the thing is that people don't relate to just anybody. You can be among others and still feel lonely.

[@dianehorrell6107]

A great question. Lonesomness Anonymous. Let's do it!

[@CMM726]

@@yanzi8543 great idea! Why don't you start that group? People start groups and movements all the time. Why not u?

[@teresamesa]

people coast on their friends they made as teens, then lovers, then family. if you missed the train or had a fall out, you are SCREWED. no one will reach out to you and chances are, other loners are just as insecure as you.

[@KellyMagovern]

Loneliness is a huge problem in places like Japan and South Korea, but over there they have services where you can literally "rent" a friend or even an entire family to spend time with you. And they'll just hang with you and listen to you. Apparently, it helps people there. The "Asian Boss" KZbin channel has several videos about the subject. Just type "Asian Boss rent" and you'll see several videos in the search results. It would be interesting if services like that developed in Western countries.

[@Lucas_ramirez67]

I’m 37 years old, I have two kids, and I still talk to my stuffed bear because there is literally no one else.

[@valentinarose9165]

Wow, we have identical situations 🙏🏾

[@kristenb180]

Same except I”m 44 and I have three kids.I talk to my cats lol

[@irisrose4732]

Nothing wrong with that.

[@saraboutin2210]

I upgraded to a dog from my stuffed animals

[@suzyliller9081]

You look beautiful, I can’t believe it!! I’m in the same situation though... 38 divorced one big girl at least we can support each other here!

[@ordinarryalien]

"And remember: Being alone does not have to mean being lonely." - Dr. Daniel Marston

[@kulgauravisinghbhati9487]

True!!!

[@urltima]

How do people memorize their ENTIRE speech???? I can BARELY remember my own name damn.

[@JV-eh3lh]

Cause it's not just memorizing. You feel what you're saying. It's something you have given a lot of thought to anyway

[@XBOXSUCHTI34]

There are monitors and they are displaying the text

[@candysweet434]

because they practice it hundreds of times

[@candysweet434]

G4MMA you’re either very naive or not very bright. most ted speakers memorize their speeches, if they can’t they use note cards or teleprompters. people who have done ted talks say they practice for hours upon hours over several months to perfect it. one scientist even said she practiced her speech 200 times. no one can give a great speech if they don’t practice it.

[@candysweet434]

G4MMA you’re right, i apologize

[@ranchgal3006]

I have basically no friends either. Isn't she the coolest bravest young woman. Wonderful talk.

[@xxnekonekox]

I have no friends but I have a boyfriend and I’m very fortunate to have him. I’m very antisocial and I find social situations give me extreme anxiety and really drain the life out of me, I also find it really difficult to build and maintain relationships to an extent and to connect with other people. My boyfriend is the opposite, he’ll hold you hostage and talk your ear off, he loves to make friends and everyone is is friend, I love him so much and I’m glad he found me and insisted to keep talking to me even when I was very shy and reserved. I’m so glad extroverts like him exist, its the only way introverts like me can form relationships sometimes.

[@sandhyavijapurkar3567]

Aww I wish I find someone like that :)

[@easytoslipE2S]

I wonder if there are many men who feel drained in social situations. Seems like they're the ones pushing and shoving in service to their huge, fragile egos. Women-only spaces are so different and quite delightful.

[@rosepond7178]

I'm same! I have social anxiety and no friends, and my boyfriend can talk to anyone on the street

[@manillascissor]

@@easytoslipE2S yes, i am a man, lonely, socially awkward, anxious, etc. we exist, but like most, we try to hide it

[@Neverseenstars]

Same...I have no friends, only my boyfriend

[@BeyondBeauty-p9e]

I never had a friend since when I was 10, if the universe going to give me an opportunity to have a friend I'm gonna accept it even if it's only one.

[@else4868]

I've never had true friends. I've tried to have them, because I felt there was something very wrong with me enjoying and preferring to be on my own. Now, several years later I've accepted that I don't have the need to have friends. Realizing and being ok with that changed my life. I have my family and my partner, and I couldn't be happier living as simple and peaceful as that. I'm sure friends are great to have if they truly are your friends. But you don't need them to be happy. Loved this TED talk!

[@rbrennan1000]

I was always the kid who ate their lunch alone at school, went home and didnt go out to play at the weekends. I'm 22 now and nothing has changed. I leave the house to go to work and that is it, after work I'm alone in my house, on the weekends I'm alone in my house when you're 22 years old and all you can see is people clubbing on their Instagram stories, or snapchat stories of their days out with friends, and you're alone wishing things could be different. I dont want to be like this, but I dont know how to fix. I've been lonely for so long I've lost all self esteem and convinced myself that I must be too boring for friends, and I probably am. But the depression can become painful sometimes. We tall about being elderly and alone, but when you're young and lonely it can sometimes hurt even more. I'm wasting my youth and my life with it.

[@Bob-ej1er]

As a homebody, I can really relate to what you wrote. Would you be interested in exchanging contact info (emails/sc) maybe we can become pen-pals or something.

[@re553]

Ryan B It is amazing how you explained your whole life from the day of your birth until where you are now and let me tell you, I have been through every single moment you mentioned so it’s not just you. I literally have been alone my whole life, I just didn’t know how to make friends although I wasn’t shy to talk and participate during a discussion. And I’m 23 today and still lonely even though I have a few friends of my own but I don’t get along with them so well. I don’t know where you are now and whether if you’re gonna read this one day but I just wanted to tell you my story which is pretty much the same as yours. Anyway all these things have been going on for a long time in my head and I really needed a person to tell so thanks. Sorry for my bad english lol

[@re553]

Ryan B Funny thing is I didn’t realise that i’m so lonely until I was over 20 years old! I used to be kinda fine with being alone back when i was a kid. But now It actually began to hurt, sometimes I even start crying the moment I realise I don’t have any real friends around me, I have some who love me but what’s the point of love when you can’t understand me right? And they all keep making promises that they don’t keep and wouldn’t talk to me for weeks while I never leave them without checking on them from time to time! Any way Sorry to bother you but It’s just that I was super tired of keeping those words inside my heart so I just figured it was the right moment to let them out

[@Bob-ej1er]

@@re553 Thank you for sharing. This was petty relatable like why do people suddenly have an existential crisis in their 20ies about things they didn't care about/pay much attention too before. Love can be tough because people express it differently (example: touch/tactile, gifts, acts of service/favors, quality time together, compliments, etc.) and it can be hard to accept love from someone if you don't feel they know who you really are. Also, it is hard to find real friends where both people are equally invested in each another and I also hate when people get my hopes for no reason. I don't think people are intentionally trying to be cruel, they just may not know how to effectively support/show they care about somebody else. We all have limited time and energy, so its important to consider who and what we invest ourselves in. It's sad most people want the same thing (i.e. be loved unconditionally), but not everybody's willing to reciprocate it.

[@oliviae3250]

I was the same way I never got to experience clubbing and going out when I was in my early twenties and felt lonely. But now that I became a mom I realized that it’s not important. I think that not being involved in that kind of lifestyle gave me a better head on my shoulders to be myself and not do what others perceived as cool

[@madfrancis932]

After I went through a depressive period of several years I've lost all of my friends. I really miss them to be honest and I wish for you that are reading this message best luck in life to find people that stay close to you even in hard times. BEST OF LUCK!

[@whitenights4524]

My story is similar to yours. Years of unresolved mental problems, as a conclusion I isolated myself from everyone except my family. Thank you for good wishes, I wish the same for you.

[@pernelltaylor1819]

Watching everyone live life while you live in solitude, afraid of engaging with anyone due to bad experiences and fear is almost as low as it gets.

[@flyingroses126]

Good thing she has a good mom. Mine was an abusive narc that I had to leave behind. We all have our own issues.

[@side-eyewarrior823]

Same here

[@themaggattack]

Yeah. But we don't know what her mom is really like. Narc mothers tend to make OCD children. Being raised by a narc is what makes you hate yourself and second guess yourself constantly.

[@side-eyewarrior823]

WhatAWorld spot on. Crazy moms breed overly conscious self-children.

[@flufftronable]

@@themaggattack 100% true in my experience

[@bringiton3457]

FlyingRose S same!

[@metsrus]

Don't have any friends. Don't want to burden anyone and don't want anyone to burden me. Probably not the ideal way to live but humans are so burdensome with their drama.

[@lumiere5772]

Tom Ly - Exactly! Last 4 people that were close to me, were draining/annoying. The first 3 drama queens and the last one a toxic narc. So I'm enjoying my freedom. Very hard to find quality friends.

[@MicahPotts]

@@lumiere5772You guys said it.

[@bonbonvrock84]

I've been mostly feeling like this for the past 2 years. These days I just don't want to deal with people, least of all anyone who comes off as sth like a "friend". It seems like sometimes these opportunities of forming friends spring up but I just don't want to do anything about it. It feels very tiresome and burdensome. I had very lofty ideas of friendship till the end of my late teens but now I just want to be left alone with my work and thoughts. I've one good friend though and we've been friends for over 10yrs now but we don't get to connect as much as I'd like due to realities and circumstances of our lives. Sometimes I miss her terribly and a lot of the times I don't want to meet her or anybody. I wonder if something is wrong with me. I've been depressed for about 12 years now but I don't think that's what's the matter as even during the times my depression was at its peak I still firmly believed in friendship despite never having many or almost none at all.

[@wildmoonchild8210]

exactly. i feel like such a burden because the people im with would be having a better time if they were with their actual friends so im unimportant. not the best way to think but whatever

[@dh2513]

Bonbon VRock maybe you’re burnt out... it can be draining@ just trying to get together let alone exchanging phone calls or messages etc. IMO anyway.

[@skatingfae92]

I just prefer to be alone now. I chose to become a friend to myself. I don’t need anyone to like me.

[@weeklyalexa257]

I like you 😁

[@skatingfae92]

Alexa Boxler too late

[@gregoryanderson9218]

It’s good to be your own best friend.

[@NitaJain]

You seem to have really cool interests based off your playlists (art, gardening, fitness). I bet you'd be fun to get to know

[@ИлхамЖуматов]

I wish I had at least one friend whom I can share my feelings. I don't want to die alone. Not once I have thought of committing suicide lately but I decided not to because of these comments. After reading these comments I felt that I'm not lonely. Thank you all and I wish you all to have lifelong friends and be happy!!!

[@starzintheskyz4477]

You're not alone in feeling this way, it's not easy but we'll get through these lonely times:) hugs from Ohio 💚

[@ИлхамЖуматов]

I was able to get through this feeling now, thank you all for supporting me. I realized that I had to feel this in order to understand what real happiness is, which I had looked for it in a wrong place. I wish everyone who is going through this to overcome and become more experienced in this life.

[@piyushbindra2619]

@@ИлхамЖуматов How are you now brother? If you could then share me your Instagram id or whatsapp, it would be great to become your friend.

[@its.nice2b_nice]

*(◍•ᴗ•◍)❤Hello from Florida, and I believe our posts help lift and encourage others, its important to share your feelings at times, you never know what one is going thru, I genuinely believe that when I post for instance prayer or in agreement with illness etc, it helps others know they're not alone.*

[@advisor.]

Everybody is going to die alone. But I’m glad you feel comfortable now.

[@taneekasmith5782]

She did a great job with her presentation

[@myopinion5806]

My whole life, I never feel like I needed to fit into a group of friends or having just a friend. I was always in my own deep thoughts, introvert, I like my own space. It never bother me to be alone, but it bothers me most when someone interrupt my peace. It's not that I fear to social, or make friends, but I accept that people come and go.

[@cobeycoles1]

Until about five years ago, I had several friends. Now that I have no friends I find I have less obligations and more time for myself and family. I think friends can be beneficial in some respects such as meeting a significant other when single but generally everyone is out for themselves and I have learned that over the years. Friends can be fun but are not necessary especially for an introvert such as myself.

[@kimberlyj4538]

Good lord, young lady, your vocabulary, self-possession, introspection, superior public speaking skills, authenticity are such strengths. You are a gift. My daughter has OCD, diagnosed at 12, and is now thirty. She found significant help through cognitive therapy, although she continues to manage it and it pops up in different ways. Bravo for shining light on this condition and for taking the leap to disclose your experience. So proud of you.

[@magickitchen54]

Courtney, this is one of the best Ted Talks I've seen. I clapped for real when you said, "That's why I'm here." You are making a difference.

[@shukucci]

I am 29 and I have never had friends. Why is it so hard. So many people are lonely and have no one to connect with, why is it so hard to find the others.... I can't...

[@sofijasmiljanic3698]

Hey, lets connect

[@Bob-ej1er]

A lot of people want to have friends, but its hard to find two people who mutually agree to invest their time in one another. I'd be up for exchanging emails/snap or something, if you want to talk.

[@bhoomi9838]

I'm in a similar situation. Just gotta keep living.

[@wongpentelglobal]

Wanna be friends

[@williamseymourjones9430]

Me too bud

[@jazz-axy9924]

Im friendless by choice. I have no desire to entertain "frenemies" or nurture an aquaintance i have no interest in. Im a 2 friends kinda gal and until i find the right ppl im good solo

[@randomvideos_658]

Amen!

[@mithunprakash.j9241]

In my opinion from the age of 16, it is better to live career oriented lives even if u don't have any friend.

[@maxos-4135]

@@mithunprakash.j9241 why do you support this? I would like to hear an explanation im interested

[@Machelle3200]

Exactly..All they do is low key hate on you and don't want the best for you anyway so what's the point??? I have no tolerance for fake azz kissers.

[@onlyhuman5669]

@@mithunprakash.j9241 well said👏

[@KAHHHH8548]

I've been alone without friends for so long it feels numb. But sometimes the loneliness just kills me.

[@amorkor4]

I feel the same way. If you give me your email address we could communicate. I moved to Ghana from the UK and have found it so difficult to get to know people, the language barrier doesn't help either

[@susanatkinson3978]

You are brave for saying it outloud. Be good to yourself and don't try too hard

[@mforemily2799]

I appreciate this so much. I too was so so so ashamed for years about my lack of friends. I never wanted to admit it, think about it, acknowledge it etc. and I NEVER wanted ANYONE to find out. Socializing can be exhausting and vulnerable. I do not have OCD and I have still dealt similarly with this. Thank you!

[@cynthiabetubiza3315]

Awesome talk. So much bravery and intellect.

[@christinheinrich7299]

it's scary how relatable her talk is. I have several mental illnesses, ocd being one of them. combined with the others it's incrediblely difficult to connect with other people or I push them away bc they don't fit in my "daily routine" or I come across as cold or annoyed. however, like she said, I don't feel lonely being alone. but I do feel ashamed to talk about my mental illnesses and that will forever hold me back

[@meaganslife]

I haven’t had any friends since I was 21 years old. I am 28 now. (29 in a week) I often feel very depressed and lonely. When I say no friends, I mean literally Zero. I have acquaintances at work but that’s about it. I really hope someday I can find a good friend/friends and wish the same for everyone here. ❤️

[@schlomo2771]

12:22 “I dissolved my friendships, and I didn’t try to create new ones”. This is what I did too, for similar reasons. Don’t be like me, don’t push people away. It’s no way to live.

[@indyd9322]

That was an excellent TED talk! Great job! It's so important to remember that we are NOT our thoughts. Thoughts come and go, but they can't dictate our identity unless we choose to believe them. The best advice I've received on making friends is to be a good friend. Be the good friend to others that you wish you had.

[@frolickinglions]

It's a start but it's not enough and can often leave people feeling worse about themselves. If you're an Aspie, for example, you can try your best to be a "good friend" and still have trouble attracting or keeping friends. It's more complicated than just trying to be a good friend. "Normal" (neurotypical) ppl do a whole range of things w/out having to think about it that autistic ppl have to do manually, which I'm sure you can appreciate takes a lot of effort & is draining.

[@dreamscape405]

Sometimes being a good friend doesn't get you friends in return but rather takers who want to use you for your kindness, and not really interested in having a true reciprocal friendship.

[@makayla16ish]

@@dreamscape405 you are so right! This has been my experience all my life! Nothing but users to take advantage of my kindness. As soon as I let someone in my life, they want to borrow money or ask for a ride somewhere. They never listen to me because it is all about them. Oh! and the last good friend that I had ran off with my husband. Go figure.

[@tidal_lock]

Ahh I wish this worked, but for me it is draining to be kind to others and not receive the same kindness in return.. makes me really sad

[@PuzzleMessage]

Ehm, what if I don't have OCD and still zero friends?

[@mariacecilia1013]

Neither do i, where are we then?

[@SleeplessinOC]

PuzzleMessage exactly . I am not mentally ill or have OCD and I still don’t have friends. I think it’s even worse when you don’t have an “excuse “ like she and many others do.

[@PuzzleMessage]

@@SleeplessinOC Exactly, you've made a great point. Sometimes I wish my therapist just told me what's wrong with me, the "excuse" I can flaunt as to why I don't have friends. I have suffered from depression in the past few years and I was told I have a light bipolar disorder, but these are not legitimate " excuses" in my eyes, I just blame myself. Sometimes I am just victim of my self-hatred. The thing is that I do have a significant other, he is my best friend, but I could never tell him that, I still try to make him believe that I can have a social life outside our relationship, but the reality is that I don't. I don't know how to change that, nor am I completely sure I really do want to change that. A part of me still feels like I don't need other people, but no man is an island... I will learn that when it's too late, I know it.

[@everybodyndemdag]

lol I'm laughing with you...I hope you are laughing. Its true and funny.

[@SleeplessinOC]

PuzzleMessage I don’t have a boyfriend (oh how I wish I did and I’m almost 43!!) and frankly I’m scared that the fact I have no friends will scare him off if I ever meet a man who I’m mutually attracted to when he finds out during the whole “getting to know each other “ stage. I am depressed too , have been for much of my life but it’s mostly due to my circumstances than it being clinical. I don’t mean to be nosy but in your opinion , what reasons do you think it is that you are friendless ? I have asked myself this so many times but I cannot seem to come up with a satisfactory answer other than that I might just not seem interesting enough for people to want to really go beyond the casual and surface acquaintanceship. If you were to ask someone such as past co/workers what they all thought of me , they would probably say I was a nice and sweet person so it’s not for any reasons such as me being a difficult or off putting person that repels people the way some do. Before watching this video and based only on the title , I was excited in that “omg somebody who has no friends like me , who has no idea why she doesn’t! I’m not the only one! Yay,” until she started explaining her OCD and how she had friends who wanted to be friends with her but that SHE pushed away. My heart fell because here I thought was someone I can kind of relate to , although much much younger , but who then had actual reasons that caused her to turn people away , instead of just having no friends for unknown reasons , like myself . I laugh when I read advice about not pushing people away because there isn’t really anybody knocking on my door in the first place , lol. Or that ridiculous saying “to have a good friend , be a good friend .” I have given up for the most part . I don’t even care for casual small talk because it never develops into anything more , even when they start asking personal questions and I reciprocate . It’s actually become a burden and chore so I no longer strike up small talk when I know it’s not likely to develop into anything. I just feel exhausted trying to appear outgoing and sociable knowing that I was going home alone to spend my nights and weekends solo. Does your boyfriend think you don’t have friends because you choose not to? I have no idea how I’m going to explain my friendlessness to a potential boyfriend without feeling scared and or terribly ashamed. I’m tempted to wear a sign around my neck that says I have no friends so that it’s no surprise later and he can decide if he wants to approach me knowing that and maybe is at least open to hearing a possible explanation for it and giving me the benefit of the doubt. I envy you that you have a boyfriend at least . Of the two , I want a boyfriend (husband ) more than I want friends since I’m unlikely to have both. I hear you about feeling like not necessarily needing other people but the other part of you feeling that it’s difficult to thrive all alone even if you do have a boyfriend. I have no one to call if I need help moving (except maybe my parents who are elderly or my sisters who are busy working moms with their own lives) or to pick me up if I’m stranded somewhere . Thank goodness for Uber right. Sigh ....i wish none of us were in this boat .

[@Basementsloth]

This woman has very powerful words that strike me in ways I can’t explain. She laid out her arguments beautifully! I also thought she looked so beautiful the whole time. Awesome TED Talk

[@shelleemepsy2409]

Thank you for talking about this. I feel like you are talking about me.

[@lalagirl211]

Too much friends can linked to depression Believe me ... i been there , too much drama and gossips

[@jozzz222]

I Am Happy And I Deserve It agree i use to have “friends” but when I moved I became a lot less depressed when no one was around

[@petparadise6955]

I agree! Too much people knowing you can lessen your peace of mind

[@amunaobi3032]

Honestly we lonely people are heroes. Just know that a lot of cliquey people are in their groups because they fear to be lonely or for advantage, it's rarely for the friendship itself. And that's why many of us lonely people feel left out. We are looking for the real thing. And in this day and age, boy is it almost impossible. 24 years and flying solo, don't need no body to make me feel good but myself. They need me and not the other way around. Peace.

[@EvolvedParasite]

I agree. I think most of us lonely people crave a deep meaningful friendship, someone that helps us become a better person. As you put it, hard to find.

[@bintsoftness9511]

Oh yeah...

[@ichoosejoy2712]

I have no friends too. and I don't have OCD, but I'm an INFJ. It's such a rare personality type and our brains work so differently that I never find that kindred spirit. I never meet anyone that I have anything in common with. Because I am so different people just don't like me. The only person that I have any connection to is my Mum. She is elderly so sometime in the future I know I will be completely alone. I have had to accept that it's just the way it is and I don't have to feel lonely. I can create an incredible, happy and peaceful life alone.